02x18 - Newton Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight jo meets the newton family. Hello!

Hi!

Hi, pleased to meet you. Jo. How are you?

These separated parents share custody of their two children.

You're going to daddy's for a while.

But while dad runs a tight ship at his house...

Unh-unh-unh. Don't even start.

Aaron, you know you don't talk with food in your mouth.

All hell breaks loose at mom's...

Stop it!

And kobe's the culprit.

[Bleep] you!

This -year-old's rage even shocks jo.

Ooh! Ow!

Stop it!

Will she be able to calm the whirlwind of chaos...

Remove him.

And get mom and dad to push their own issues to the side?

I didn't lay this foundation. Vicki did.

Or are these parents just a lost cause?

I'd like a joint decision

On whether you would like to invite me back.

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Johnny ♪

Okay. Well, let's take a look

And see what family we've got here.

Hi, my name is vicki newton.

I'm years old, and I have sons...

Aaron, who's ,

And kobe, who is .

My name is aaron newton. I'm years old.

Vicki and I are currently separated.

We've been separated for a little over a year.

I have primary custody of the boys.

Let's go. In the house. No.

In the house! No!

And they spend every other weekend with their father.

When my children are with me, they're good kids.

The boys are like night and day

When they're with me and when they're with their dad.

[Shrieking] stop it!

Kobe is the...

The angel/devil child. Aah!

Stop it!

He can turn on you... Ow!

And hit, kick and scream...

[Shrieks]

This little boy's so angry.

[Vicki] aaron? Vicki?

Little aaron, he wants to be a big, mature man...

And kobe pushes every button that aaron has.

What now, aaron?

Peed on the ground, and I stepped in it!

I peed on the ground so he could step in it.

Take your ass downstairs.

I'm a very strict person...

Aaron, you are definitely cleaning this place up today.

And my children understand that.

You know I can't hang with this.

I want you to eat. I want you to eat now.

I feel like such a horrible mom because they just won't listen.

When I cook for you, then you eat it.

I want to eat when I want to eat!

Stop it. Stop it! Get off me!

So different in one house to the other.

[Bleep] you. Hey!

I don't think I need supernanny's help...

But I think vicki does tremendously.

I feel like I can't win.

So please, if you can do it,

I'll be forever grateful.

I've seen enough.

You guys desperately need my help,

And I'm on my way now.

♪♪♪

Hello!

Hi! Pleased to meet you. I'm jo.

Hi, I'm vicki. May I come in?

Oh, please do.

[Vicki] this is jo! [Jo] hi, kobe.

Pleased to meet you.

Shake jo jo's hand. How are you?

Good.

After I was introduced to kobe,

We went outside to the backyard where we played some basketball.

But it wasn't five minutes before kobe started trouble.

[Grunts]

[Vicki] knock it off.

You'd better stop threatening to throw it at me.

I'll...ha ha!

Don't you throw it at me!

Why are you doing that?!

This little boy has no respect for vicki.

He doesn't listen to anything she has to say.

He doesn't take her seriously--

Just total non-respect.

♪♪♪

Aaron.

[Jo] hi, aaron. How are you? [Laughs]

Pleased to meet you. I'm jo jo. I'm aaron.

Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

[Jo] when aaron came home from school,

I introduced myself to him, and he was very pleasant.

And mom asked if he would go outside and play with kobe.

I'm not playing with kobe.

[Vicki] ever? I didn't say ever. I said right now.

Well, I didn't say right this second.

I said you get your homework done--

What if I don't want to play with my homework done?

Aaron, why don't we take one step at a time?

How about that? [Jo] it was like watching two teenagers

Bickering back and forth.

When aaron talks back to me, it's--

I've become so accustomed to it,

And I kind of blow it off as to his age.

Do your homework.

All right. Where's kobe at?

I don't know.

[Jo] it turns out that kobe was upstairs on the computer.

Kobe, you're not even supposed to be touching the computer!

What is it that you're doing that I told you not to?

[Vicki] let's go.

Hey! Hey!

Do not slam the keyboard! Down.

Don't hit me!

Now stop. Kobe!

Stop it!

Don't start kicking!

Ooh! Ow!

[Vicki] stop it!

[Jo] he just went into a rage.

It was like a volcano that had erupted.

[Grunts] sit!

[Shrieks]

[Bleep] you!

This has spiraled out of control. It's outrageous.

Hyah!

Stop hitting me! Now! Stop it!

What happened? I've tried.

See, I've tried to make him at least calm down

And stay in his room. I tried to get him to calm down,

And a lot of times it just--

What did you just throw?

That is not acceptable, kobe. Stop it!

To be a spectator and watch that, for me,

Was just the most difficult thing

That I've probably ever had to do.

I was just so torn professionally

With watching and observing

Or compassionately just stepping in.

You just hurt it...

You're going in here I don't care.

He was not letting go of me. It broke me down.

I have not had any resolve to this.

I don't know what to do.

So your ex doesn't know that this goes on?

He knows that they do it. He tells 'em not to.

He's usually calming down by now.

[Jo] things got so bad that at one stage,

Mom screamed out...

Aaron, please help me. He won't stop.

[Jo] and aaron came upstairs, and he got between his mother

And his brother...

Stop.

[Crying]

You see what happens? Your brother tries to defend me,

And then you get hurt, because you refuse to just stop.

Aaron, just don't. Just don't.

[Crying]

You're all kidding me.

Aaron defends mom by fighting with him

To the point where he can then physically hurt kobe,

And then the person that kobe's been beating up on

Pacifies him because he's been hurt.

What a destructive cycle that is happening here.

This is just outrageous.

Coming up on...

Unh-unh-unh. Don't even start.

The boys fall into line under dad's command.

Kobe? Yeah?

Sit up right in the chair.

You know you don't talk with food in your mouth.

But can jo enlist him to join mom's cause?

Where is the discipline?

I can't discipline my children

For something they don't do at my house.

But it's not good enough, aaron.

I understand.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

Hello.

Hiya. Hello.

Hi, pleased to meet you. Jo. How are you?

Very well. And yourself? Aaron newton.

Dad came from work to pick up the boys.

And I met him, and he was very polite and said hello,

And he greeted the boys...

How you doing, buddy? You okay?

[Vicki] you're going to daddy's for a while.

And it was just a different energy altogether.

[Vicki] kobe, do you want to tell daddy

About what happened earlier?

Could you talk to him about that when you're over there?

Please? Because this is not uncommon. This is what he does.

He gets mad, and he loses control.

Aaron--finally I said, "aaron, please," to help me. You were hitting me.

I was not hitting-- stop, kobe.

You pushed me down. Stop it right now.

Is this a conversation that is repetitive--

Listening to vicki explain to you how kobe's behaved? Yes.

Yes. Yes, it is.

How do you deal with it together?

He has serious sit-down conversations with them

When he's alone with them.

Yeah? Is that the case?

Yeah, but it's after the fact.

And I don't know if it has that much significance,

Especially to kobe.

I just don't see

That type of behavior that vicki has told me

That they have done in front of her.

Why, I honestly don't know.

Vicki and aaron aren't seeing eye-to-eye.

They share custody of the boys,

But they're not working together,

And the boys see that.

Okay, guys. See you later. Give me kisses.

Mmm!

I love ya. Bye.

See you.

[Jo] now that I've spent the whole day at mom's,

I wanted to see if the children

Really do behave differently at dad's.

Gonna leave my bag here.

Oh, okay.

As soon as I arrived,

Dad was making dinner for the boys.

Oh, boy, does he run a tight ship.

Aaron, this is reallycheesy.

Okay? A.t.?

What made you go over there? I didn't like his response.

I'm a very strict parent with my children.

I'm regimented.

Unh-unh-unh. Don't even start.

Say excuse me.

Kobe? Yeah?

Sit up right in the chair for your dad, please. [Mumbles]

Aaron, you know you don't talk with food in your mouth.

Dad's presence overall is very strict,

As far as--he's general.

You know, he's upright.

My dad usually, when he tells me stuff,

It's serious. It's not, like, an option.

So your dad tells you, but your mom gives you options.

It seems like my mom's giving me options,

And my dad's giving me more seriously.

Mmm.

You're a very astute boy, and a very smart one.

Thank you for inviting me to your home.

Thank you very much, ma'am. Thank you. However, what I would like is for you

To make your way over to vicki's...okay.

Because I would like to sit down with the pair of you

And have a chat.okay.

Lovely. So I look forward to seeing you then. Jo, thank you very much.

Bye! [Aaron jr.] Bye.

These parents' heads are seriously messed up,

And it's reflecting in some of the bad behavior

That we're seeing from these children.

I need to sit down with vicki and aaron

And discuss this situation as soon as possible.

♪♪♪

I called for the pair of you

To meet me this evening

Because the severity of what I've seen in observation

Couldn't wait for tomorrow.

I'll agree.

The aggression in this house

Is absolutely horrifying.

Oh, I agree.

I...

I absolutely agree.

And yet you tolerate that, vicki.

You put up with the children hitting you.

I've got to ask you-- why, vicki?

Why do you allow your children

To physically treat you that way?

I guess I don't--that's--

I don't know what else to do at that point.

I don't know how else to get him to stop.

What are the children's consequences for this behavior?

Where is the discipline?

You'd have to talk to vicki about that,

Because it...

I can't discipline my children

For something they don't do at my house.

Now, aaron, you have been told time and time again by vicki

About the abuse.

When did mom's word become invalid?

I'm more of a person

That deals with the situation at hand, when it happens.

But it's not good enough, aaron.

I understand what you're saying.

It's not good enough

Because you're not supporting vicki

In raising your children properly.

I'm understanding what she's telling us. Are you?

I'm acknowledging it. Okay.

But you don't necessarily agree.

I can see by the-- I haven't said anything. I'm listening.

Look at aaron--

A bright boy who sees everything.

He shouldn't have to step up and be a father

To come beat and deal with discipline.

That boy should be worried about

Who's gonna be playing basketball with him.

And this is what it's about at the end of the day.

It's about your boys.

I think it was necessary for him to hear that

So that we can move forward

As far as the kids are concerned.

Are you guys willing to work together

To change around

The destructive behavior that we are seeing?

I am.

Yeah. Yes.

I hope vicki will really take what jo has to say to heart

And think of what jo was trying to do

To help us together.

I am very happy

To see that the pair of you are willing

To be able to communicate with one another

To be able to change this around.

Okay. Good night.

Good night. Good night.

Coming up on...

When you're ready, if you could press "play." Don't start kicking!

[Man] when confronted with the truth... Oh! Ow!

Dad goes on the defensive.

You don't want to hear my response to that.

I do.

When "supernanny" returns.

But first-- a tip from supernanny.

In emotional situations like divorce,

It's all to easy for us to lean on our children for support.

Kids shouldn't have to deal with adult issues.

Instead, let's rely on our friends and family instead.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

The first thing I needed to do was to get vicki and aaron

To a place where they could start working together.

What I'd like to do is

To present you

With some footage, aaron.

Dad has repetitively said that he doesn't see

The behavior that kobe gives his mother.

So I want to make sure that aaron sees

What vicki has to put up with.

Don't start kicking!

[Grunts]

Stop it!

I did want aaron to see it. I wanted him to see

What kobe was capable of.

He had not seen kobe to that extreme.

So I think it was good for him to see it,

Even though it's embarrassing to see your child act like that.

When I saw the dvd with kobe,

I was very disappointed in what I saw.

Hyah!

Stop hitting me!

Now! Stop it!

You don't want to hear my response to that.

I do.

It, quite frankly, should have been nipped in the bud

An awful long time ago.

Is that kobe's fault? No, it isn't.

Kobe's years old.

I'm kind of angry about this, to tell the truth.

Aaron was extremely angry, but this is not the first time

He's heard about kobe's behavior.

He's obviously done nothing productive to stop this.

If kobe's not to blame

And be accountable for his own behavior

And aggression,

Who is?

The parents are.

What aaron doesn't understand is this--

Even though he doesn't live in his house anymore,

He is equally responsible

For his children's bad behavior.

By allowing aaron to come in and see with his own eyes

Kobe's behavior

Is the first step towards you both

Taking responsibility for your children.

It was very difficult to grasp the severity

In that type of action from your own child.

So I'm still working with what to do about that.

Now that aaron realizes he needs to be more involved

In disciplining the children,

I'm setting vicki and him up with an exercise.

Common ground technique.

The goal of the common ground technique

Is to allow mom and dad to write down their goals

For the boys... Place on this...

Here, and write down some of the goals

You would like to see achieved.

Let's try.

♪♪♪

Vicki, why don't we start with you?

"Refrain from name-calling." Yep.

"Use our words and not physical contact

To express ourselves."Mm-hmm.

Would you be in agreement with that?

I'd definitely be in agreement with it.

Aaron, let's hear one of yours. I wrote down "communication,"

Not only with vicki, but with my children,

And I put down, "open, honest and direct."

That works.

Oh, i-i agree.

It went very well.

The pair of them were very amicable.

They listened to one another. They were in unison

Of where they wanted to reach with the boys,

So that was very good.

We're starting afresh. My feeling is vicki and I

Have reached a starting point, trying to work together

To resolve some serious issues.

♪♪♪

There is no discipline

That is effective in this house,

And so I'm introducing the privilege removal board

So that mom can get control back in this house.

Kobe, I saw behavior from you yesterday

That was very upsetting.

Behavior like aggression--

Which is punching and kicking

And any kind of behavior that hurts somebody else...

Is wrong.

You're gonna learn

That if you don't start behaving yourselves,

That you're gonna pay a price for it.

Basketball--

If you start to fight, no more basketball.

Mommy and daddy have had enough of your behavior.

Perhaps it's my responsibility to assist vicki

To work on that chart and reach a common ground.

And how you treat daddy and speak to daddy

Is how you will treat mommy--

With respect and lots of love.

Mommy needs to step up now, and she's going to, isn't she?

Mm-hmm.

In the afternoon, the boys were playing basketball together.

But before you knew it, trouble started.

What's wrong, aaron?

I'm not playing with him. Why?

'Cause he keeps on

Crying and whining because of the way I'm sh**ting.

Vicki often makes things worse when she gets drawn in

By kobe's anger when she deals with him.

So before she went out to talk to him,

I wanted to give her some tools

So that she could remain calm.

You don't want to get angry because he's showing anger.

All right? What you want him to do [clunk]

Is get to a place where he can calm down.

And when he's calmed down, you can then say to him,

"Talk to mommy so I can help you resolve this situation."

Okay? Okay.

If he hits you...

He is throwing rocks.

[Pounding] [jo] kobe's behavior was getting worse by the minute,

And action did have to be taken.

Coming up on...

I have to be honest, okay?

Dad's got an ax to grind with jo...

[Jo] okay. Kobe, why don't you run upstairs,

'Cause daddy has to be real.

This is good. This is what I want.

But she gets the last word. I hear what you're gonna say.

Now I'm gonna lay my cards down on the table. Please do.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] kobe has a lot of anger inside him,

And feeding into it just makes it worse.

Kobe, I asked you-- no, come here.

Kobe.kobe.

I thought it would be very beneficial

To help him calm down with a breathing technique.

Breathe through your nose.

Repeat what I say. Breathe through your nose, honey.

Show him. Show him.

Breathe in. [Inhales]

Look at mommy. Look at mommy.

[Inhales] good boy.

[Exhales] it was working.

Kobe started to settle down.

You know what, kobe?

Instead of getting angry and throwing things,

Just come and say, "mommy, I'm sad.

"This is why I'm sad," and talk to me,

Because, you know what? Throwing things

Isn't getting us anywhere. Is it? No.

And you're gonna have to lose a privilege now.

Kobe ended up losing a privilege,

And it's the first time

That mom has ever been adamant

About following through with a consequence

And sticking with it,

But when he realized what was happening,

He went on a massive rampage.

No!

No!

[Whines]

You just feel like you're gonna lose it at any time,

Because you just don't know when it's gonna end,

And I was trying to keep my cool and not get angry.

Kobe was destroying anything he could get his hands on,

But mom remained composed

So that she didn't feed into his anger.

Okay, breathe. [Whining]

[Inhaling deeply]

[Jo] come on, show mama. Breathe through your nose.

Come on, baby.

I actually thought he was never gonna be able to get composure,

But when he did it with me the first time,

I thought, "wow,"

You know, "maybe this canbe a way

To get him to calm down."

[Jo] keep going. [Vicki] good boy, kobe. Come on, keep goin'.

Good boy. That's it.

After the storm had gone,

Things were in a state throughout the whole house...

But the one thing that had come out of it that was positive

Was that mom had stuck to her g*ns,

And that boundary line was placed

Very firmly in that house... Okay?

All right.

And it was up to kobe to recognize

That it was there for good.

Aaron's a really good kid, but he is often overlooked

Because his parents spend so much time dealing with kobe.

So I gave him a notebook so he can write down his thoughts

And share it with his parents when he's ready.

It's every day.

She said it's for me, like, to write down questions that,

You know, I can ask my parents

Or how I'm feeling and stuff like that.

So I thought it was very nice.

Thank you, jo. You're welcome.

[Jo] dad came over from work to see the boys. Oh, my goodness.

And I showed him around the house the destruction.

Oh, my god. I took him straight upstairs

To the computer room

Where he saw everything displayed on the floor.

What I would like to see once you've taken a minute

To compose yourself with what you've seen,

Is to be able to sit down with kobe

And make it quite clear

That his unacceptable behavior has to stop.

He has lost his privileges,

And I'd like them to follow through in suit

In your home, okay?

Kobe needs to understand that if he misbehaves

In his mother's house, the discipline

Will be followed through in his dad's house as well.

You can't play basketball for how many days?

Two.

Whatever happens here is gonna happen at daddy's apartment,

Right?okay.

Do you understand that? Okay.

If you back talk here, you might as well be back talking daddy.

[Jo] when you talk to him, dad,

Don't pacify what you're saying, okay?

I know, I know, I know. This is you being firm with him.

I know, I know, it's hard.

What's hard, to be firm?

Yeah.

Aaron... I understand. I understand.

Aaron. No, aaron, I don't think you do.

When I picked kobe up,

Um, it was a father saying to his son,

"You're not a bad guy. We're gonna work on this."

Put him down for a minute, please. Put him down.

You know, i-i have to be honest...

Okay?

He is in front of us, okay?

Kobe, do something for daddy, okay? [Kobe] what?

Why don't you run upstairs? 'Cause daddy has to be real.

Now. Okay?

This is good. This is what I want.

I said to him, "why are you behaving this way with kobe?"

And he turned around very abrupt and said, "let's get real here,"

And I thought, "let's do it. Let's talk."

I am very disappointed, okay?

Okay.

The behavior that kobe is showing--

He doesn't do it with me.

Mm-hmm.

I didn't lay this foundation.

Vicki did... And that is not kobe's fault.

Mm-hmm. Okay?

Am I mad? You're damn right I'm mad. Mm-hmm.

It's kinda like condemn kobe

Because of what an adult has allowed him to do.

Okay?i hear what you're gonna say.

Now I'm gonna lay my cards down on the table. Please do.

Aaron blames vicki, but he's got to get beyond that.

What's most important here is that vicki and aaron

Put their children's welfare first

And put their differences aside.

And kobe's anger has also now escalated

With the fact that vicki hasn't stepped up

And implemented her own foundation,

But she's not had the support from you

Because of your own personal differences,

And those children are now having to deal

With those emotions.

He's years old...

And he's got a lot of pent-up anger.

These boys have got to see that their father

Supports their mother

To be able to put these kids on the right track,

Because, after all, isn't that why we're all here?

That's the reason. Yeah.

Okay.

After my talk with aaron,

I realized that these two parents have got

Some serious, deep issues to resolve,

And no matter what I try and do for them,

It's not gonna help unless they decide to work together.

Now I was invited into your home

To resolve some severe issues...

But I cannot help you guys change that

If you guys are not willing to talk to each other

And clear the air

With your own relationship first

So that you can both take the responsibility

For your children together.

I'm gonna go away, and when I come back,

I'd like a joint decision

On whether you would like to invite me back

To be able to help the pair of you.

These guys have got some serious homework to do while I'm away,

And they've got to be coming up with some resolvement

In order for me to be able to come back into this house

And help them turn around the dynamics,

Because it's a bad place right now.

Coming up on...

With jo gone, will mom be able to reign kobe in?

[Crying]

Sweetheart, calm down, okay? We need to breathe. [Whining]

And can aaron help bring jo back?

"I wish kobe would stop hitting my mom and me."

When "supernanny" returns,

But first, a tip from supernanny.

Money can't buy what your kids want.

You can buy them all the toys in the world,

But they want most of all is your time,

And that costs you absolutely nothing.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

No.

[Jo] it's nice to see the boys playing together. Get it.

Uhh. [Crying] uh-oh, hitting.

[Vicki] what's going on?

Did you hit him?

[Screaming] you hit me! You hit me!

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

[Jo] good job trying to calm him down, mom.

He socked me in the face because I socked him in the stomach.

You know what that means?

It means no more basketball today.

[Whining] no.

We've talked about this. You know the rules. [Crying]

You had a warning. [Jo] walk away, vicki.

Just try and give him some breathing room.

We're not gonna play this anymore today.

[Crying] I want to. Well, I'm sorry, baby.

Don't apologize for disciplining him.

Now you're gonna have two faces. No! [Screaming]

Well...

We have to calm down, okay? We need to breathe, okay?

Come on. Show me. I don't wanna breathe.

Kobe, come on. Look at mommy. Show me.

I don't wanna breathe. Mommy needs to do it because mommy's upset, too, okay?

That was tough, but you stayed pretty calm,

And you got kobe there, too.

That's fantastic.

Look at aaron writing in his notebook.

Right before I go to bed,

I always write stuff in my notebook that jo gave me.

[Aaron] what? Aaron would like to talk to us downstairs.

Okay.

I don't wanna do it

With just my mom or just my dad.

I wanna kinda do it when we're all together.

This is the book that jo gave me.

So I wanted to, um, share what I have,

Um, what I wrote down.

"I wish kobe would stop hitting my mom and me,

"'Cause he hurts us,

And I need kobe not to hit or curse."

[Jo] look, it's bringing you guys together.

"I'm proud of my mom and the way she is handling kobe.

"I'm proud of my parents in working together

"In trying to control kobe's anger."

Those are very, very good observations, aaron. Excellent. For me, you know,

You know how hard I've been trying not to yell,

But if you're sayin', "mom, you've really tried,"

Then I know that I'm doin' a lot better.

Do you have any questions about any one of 'em?

[Laughs]

[Jo] this is great communication and openness.

This is a major step for you guys. I love you.

I love you, too.

Daddy.

You want me to make rice?

[Aaron] well, what do you think?

[Laughs] I know. [Jo] I love this.

You're working together.

I think I can manage that without burnin' it.

Look how happy kobe is. Just look at that smile.

I was readin' kobe a story. You wanna say good night to him?

Okay. Hold on.

Good night, daddy.

Yeah.

Okay, we'll see you tomorrow. All right, bye.

Bye-bye. I love you.

I'm proud of you, mom and dad.

You're finally working together for the children.

What a big step for you all.

Okay, let's all take a look.

Get it.

Uhh. [Crying]

Breathe, breathe, breathe. In, in. No!

Do we hit people?no.

Do we hit people?no.

We're not gonna play this anymore today.

[Crying] I want to! Well, I'm sorry, baby.

It's good that you got him to calm down, okay? Okay.

You got him to calm down so he could rationally talk to you.

But then you started to go back.

Pacify, pacify at the end of the bed,

Trying to negotiate,

Thinking that he's not gonna love you

Because you've decided to put your foot down

And say, "this is how it is."

"I wish kobe would stop hitting my mom and me.

"I'm proud of my parents in working together

"And trying to control kobe's anger."

That's good.

[Vicki] I love you. [Aaron jr.] I love you, too.

I can't watch that clip without feeling emotional...

I know. To be honest with you.

I had a hard time not.

Under the circumstances,

To sit down with the pair of you

And discuss what was on his mind and in his heart

Took an enormous amount of courage.

I mean, how did you feel at that particular time?

I felt proud. Extremely proud.

I was very proud of him, and I didn't even realize

That he'd been writing so much in it,

But I think that's good for him.

Very much. Let's continue.

You want me to make rice?

[Aaron] well, what you think? [Laughing] I know.

[Laughter]

I think I can manage that without burnin' it. [Laughs]

Good night, daddy. Bye-bye, sweetie.

I love you.

Look at his face.

What did he see that made him smile?

What made him laugh? Mom and dad interacting positively.

When you create an environment that can just be pleasant...

On the basic level,

It creates that face.

We've watched this footage

And clearly seen what does need to be addressed.

So what I would like to know

From the pair of you is wherever there is

A joint decision about where the pair of you

Want to take this situation...

I can present myself with aaron and kobe

Hopefully in a much more positive vein and go forward.

While it's been very emotional for both of us,

I think that, um, what jo's been able to do

Is bring a lot of things to light that needed to be.

We do have to be able to communicate

On a positive basis when it comes to the kids.

Good. [Knocks]

Then let's get started. All right.

Coming up on...

[Vicki] he's destroying everything.

Kobe's on the destruction path again.

[Screams] remove him from the area.

And this time, jo's had enough. Remove him.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] when aaron and kobe play together,

They normally end up in a fight,

But I've got a little game for them.

So I'm hoping this will change things.

This is how the game is gonna work, all right?

There's a series of tasks for them to achieve so they can

Give each other encouragement, work together and have some fun.

Once they complete a task,

They get a piece to a puzzle.

Starting from now!

[Aaron] all right, now go forward.

No, to the left, to the left. Up, up.

Right there, right there, right there. Good boy.

You've just got yourself an envelope.

They were excited to be working as a team,

And they were very curious

To see what the puzzle would turn out to be.

Come on, it's on.

Aaron has got to find these words.

You have two minutes. Go.

Come on, aaron. Come on, you're smart.

Come on. [Jo] seconds.

"P, g."

, ...

Well done. Cool.

Oh, it was a blast. It was so fun.

Mine is here. The way that she put it together...

There we go. To make them have to do it as a team

And have to cheer each other on was so much fun,

And, you know, they did such a great job.

You have to dig into that box

And do what you can to find that key, all right? I'm gonna jump in there.

You do what you gotta do

Starting from... Now!

Go, go, go, go, go.

No, kobe, just go, go! [Vicki laughing]

Look--look through it. Look through it. Oh, great. [Vicki] great.

Look for it, kobe.

Hey! [Laughs] [jo] it was something new for the boys

To work together and cheer each other on.

They were learning that they could have fun together

Instead of fighting and beating up on each other all the time.

You did that together.

[Aaron] that was fun. That was the most fun I've had

With my little brother, I think, ever.

Later on, I wanted the boys to have

Some quality time with mom. So mom got out some ink pads

For them to do an art project together,

But before they could even get started...

You don't do the ink on the table. Kobe, look at me.

Kobe wanted to do things his way.

[Screams] remove him from the area.

Oh. Remove him.

But kobe's behavior got worse,

And it erupted into a huge tantrum.

Trying to cool kobe down

Was going to take some strenuous effort.

So it was important that vicki remain calm.

[Screaming] kobe, it is not acceptable for you to be throwing things!

Do not--destruction. Yep.

I will not go back to letting him have his own way,

Because I see what it's caused,

And I see that I let it get to the level that it did,

How hard it is to go back and get control of it.

[Crying] come on.

All right, listen. Breathe.

[Jo] vicki's realizing that if she can just

Get kobe to slow down and breathe, he'll calm down.

[Inhales] in through your nose.

[Exhales] out through your mouth.

Come on, show mommy. Show me you can do it.

We know you can do it when you get angry. You show mommy.

[Inhales]

[Exhales]

He's nice and calm.

There's a cycle with kobe that happens.

It's about breaking that cycle.

This was a huge victory for mom.

She remained calm,

She took control of the situation

And got kobe to calm down.

He needs to apologize for hitting you,

Pick up this mess... And then he had quite a job to do.

Clean up the mess that he had made.

Firm voice, okay?

Kobe, pick those up.

[Vicki] normally, I would have cleaned everything up.

But jo said, "no, don't do that. He's gotta understand

If he makes a mess, he's gotta pick it up."

Got that one.

Later that evening,

Aaron stopped by to discuss kobe's behavior.

This is what needs to happen.

What kobe needs to recognize is your support with vicki. Mm-hmm.

Aaron was prepared to support vicki with discipline.

So now it was time

To address kobe together.

We had a very rough day,

Because kobe made very bad decisions,

And he chose to get angry and break things.

He, um...

Hold on a second.

Kobe, do you think this is funny?

I'm not gonna allow you to continue to be destructive.

If it continues to happen, you continue to lose privileges,

And you lose privileges at my house tomorrow.

I think with kobe seeing vicki and myself,

It showed a unity that

What we were trying to convey to him

Was that we're working together.

I will not tolerate you not doing what you're told.

Do you understand that?

Because there will be consequences.

I felt really good, because I felt like

He's understanding that, "hey, mom and dad are both

"Sittin' here tellin' me that they're not gonna tolerate this.

You know, maybe I'd better listen."

Now let's go upstairs and get our pajamas on

And get ready for bed. Go ahead.

[Jo] mom and dad are finally working together,

Which is amazing,

Because it's going to take the pair of them

To keep kobe's behavior under control.

Kobe, I'm going now.

Come give jo jo a hug and a kiss. Mm.

Okay. What kobe do we like?

Hmm? What kobe do we like when he's behaving like what?

Yes.

Aaron, give me a hug, darling.

Mm, take care. I am very proud of you.

Aaron, take care. [Laughs] my plan, ultimately,

Is to continue to work with vicki and the children.

It just can't stop with jo leaving.

Keep working on yourself, yeah? Yes, ma'am.

And your family. Bye, vicki.

[Vicki] jo's had a tremendous impact on us--

The things that she made us deal with and face,

All within all of ourselves.

I almost feel like I gained a sister.

Take care. Bye-bye.

Throughout this experience, vicki and aaron have mutually

Agreed to keep their personal differences aside,

And even though they're living apart,

They're taking responsibility together

In raising their children, which is going to make them,

As a family, a lot happier.

[Laughter]

Aaron is smiling more.

He's opening up more. He's more upbeat.

Did that go? Oh! [Vicki] I am proud of aaron

For the progress he's made in such a short period of time.

[Aaron] I still feel that there's a lot of work

That needs to be done with kobe,

And it's gonna be something that

Vicki and I have to work together with.

Little things are gonna add up, and I think we're gonna see

A big overall change in kobe.

The boys and I will have more quality time together.

We'll do more fun things together.

[Laughs] so what else?

The past is past. Vicki and I can work

Toward a common goal that's beneficial for both of us.

I would say to any divorced couple,

Take a look at the relationship that you have with your ex

And really evaluate

How that could be affecting your children,

Because it's a lot more powerful than you could ever imagine.

Jo taught me that. [Aaron] I think I do have

A lot more respect for my mom now. I'm very proud of my mom...

Kobe, are you gettin' some? 'Cause, hopefully,

Things will get, um, keep just gettin' better and better.

Thank you for helpin' my mom, helpin' my dad,

Helpin' my little brother, helpin' me.

[Vicki] I can't thank her enough

For makin' us see what we had to see

To make an impact and make it better.

Thank you, jo jo.

[Jo] hey, we got one! Okay, we got one!

Ready... [Laughs] [laughter]

Oh, no, look, I've got your brother spearin' for you.

[Laughter]

Kobe, you're gonna be swimmin' in there.

He's gettin' his shirt more wet than his face.

[Laughter]

Aaron's got four, kobe. Oh, he's, like...

[Laughing] [kobe] I'll get under him.

[Laughter]

I'll get under.