900x08 - The Mike Judge Collection 108

[bunniefuu]

[laughing]

♪♪

Oi, I've got me fingers stuck in my bum.

[laughing]

Oi, I should never have listened

to that little Dutch boy by the dike.

[audience laughing]

And now I've got me fingers stuck in me bum.

[laughing]

[chocking]

Headmistress, I've got me fingers stuck in me bum.

Beavis?

Yeah, Butt-Head?

I'm...

[gasping]

I'm...

I'm...

[choking]

Um... I hate this stupid game.

Ahh!

Choking? You're choking?

Um... chicken?

You're choking your chicken?

[laughing]

[gasping]

[laughing]

Yeah.

[gasping] Beavis?

I'm choking.

Oh, yeah?

What do you want me to do about it?

Call --.

Um... why don't you call?

You're closer?

You're closer, dumbass

[gasping]

Oh, yeah.

[laughing]

[wheezing]

[off the hook beeping]

Um...

[woman] If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and dial again.

[keypad beeping]

[woman] Emergency services.

Hi, um...

[laughing]

Me and Butt-Head were watching the show...

And this guy had his finger in his butt.

And he was saying...

[laughing]

[woman] What's the emergency, sir?

[laughing]

Is there an emergency, sir?

[laughing]

Uh, yeah, Butt-Head's choking...

[gasping]...on chicken.

Listen carefully.

Have you Heimliched the victim?

Have I licked his rectum?

[laughing]

No way, but, uh, one time

me and Butt-Head were playing Truth or Dare, and, uh...

[woman] Sir, please.

If you want to save your frirend's life,

you need to perform the Heimlich maneuver.

[laughing]

Um, he's not really my friend.

Sir, don't you know what the Heimlich maneuver is?

Every restaurant in this city

has a sign posted describing the procedure.

Um, oh, yeah.

Thank you, drive through.

[laughing]

[wheezing]

[off the hook beeping]

[dog barking]

Whoa, that dog must've been sick.

[laughing]

[gasping]

Oh, yeah, Butt-Head choking.

[laughing]

[audience laughing]

[off the hook beeping]

[man] Welcome back everybody to the Senior Olympics.

And what a beautiful day...This sucks.

[laughing]

Heimlich, Himlich.

Himlich manure.

Manure.

Hey, freeze, jaywalker!

[laughing]

Um, I sentence you to this!

Ahh!

[laughing]

Nachos.

Nachos.

[laughing]

Yeah, nachos.

[man] How 'bout these competitors, folks, they--

Choke, choke, choke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, choke!

Yeah, choke, choke.

Choke, choke!

Um...

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Nachos, nachos.

[wheezing]

Hi Beavis.

Uh, where's Butt-Head?

[laughing]

Oh, yeah.

I better go.

Hey, can I have some nachos?

Um... okay.

Give me a dollar.

[laughing]

[gasping]

Um...

Do we have any signs around here?

[laughing]

[phone continues beeping]

[door slamming shut]

[Beavis] Hey, Butt-Head!

I got a sign that says we gotta

wash our hands before returning--

Ahh!

[coughing]

[hyperventilating]

Hey, what are you doing on the floor, assmunch?

I almost tripped.

[panting]

[laughing]

[choking]

Ahh!

♪♪

[clock ticking]

[laughing]

And now -- is heading into the crowd.

Something tells me he's really mad!

Well, I'll say he is Dave!

Now he's just acting like a big kid!

Well, that about wraps it up for World Wrestling Universe.

Stay tuned for Senior Citizen Golf next.

What'd you do that for?

[laughing]

Nothing's on for two hours, dude.

[laughing]

Uh, you know what this means, Beavis?

[laughing]

It means we have to like do something.

Uh.

[laughing]

[clock ticking]

Hey, Butt-Head, how long till something good's on TV?

Uh...[laughing]

Two hours, dude.

Hey, Butt-Head, how long till something--Beavis?

Shut up or I'll kick your ass.

Hey, Butt-Head, how long--

Ow!

This sucks.

What should we do?

Uh, maybe we should like think of something.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Thinking sucks.

[clock ticking]

I know, let's stand up.

[laughing]

Yeah, good idea.

Uh... that was pretty cool.

Now what?

Uh, let's stand again.

Uh... how?

[laughing]

[clock ticking]

[meter buzzing]

Hey, Butt-Head, I think I might throw-up.

Cool.

That might like take some time.

[laughing]

[retching]

I can't do it.

[retching]

Me neither.

And there's like an hour and a lot of minutes

before something's on TV.

Time sucks.

[laughing]

[clock ticking]

Now remember the rules, Beavis.

I throw it at you.

Then you throw it at me.

[laughing]

Um, I don't get it.

How do you win?

Ow!

[laughing]

That was cool.

[clock ticking]

What do we do now?

Uh, we could do homework.

[laughing]

[clock ticking]

[laughing]Homework.

[laughing]

Hey, guys, what are you doing?

Hey, Butt-Head, Stewart can like k*ll some time.

Yeah, uh...

Say something, Stewart.

Really?

You wanna talk to me?

Wow, that's cool.

Let's go to the mall.

I know this crazy place.This sucks.

Yeah.

We could go to my house.

I have this awesome new video game.

[clock ticking]

♪♪

Ahh!

[clock ticking]

♪♪

[sniffing]

[clock ticking]

[clock ticking]

No patience for diets? No time for the gym?

Well, then try Multi-flex, the only spring-loaded hip reducer

invented by supermodel Suzanne Somers.

[laughing]

Beavis, we're about to see the promised land.

[laughing]Cool.

[laughing]

Now here's an exercise you can do while watching TV.

[Butt-Head] Whoa. [Beavis]Yeah.

Whoa.Yeah.

Whoa.Yeah.

Whoa.Yeah.

Hey, Butt-Head, what did people do before they invented TV?

Don't be stupid, Beavis.

There's always been TV.

There's just more channels now.

Oh, yeah.

Progress is cool.

Yeah.

[laughing]

♪♪

[tires screeching]

Hey, Butt-Head, what was that?

Uh, maybe your bike's getting ripped-off again.

[laughing]

Hi, girls.

Whoa, it's Todd.

Yeah.

Like, uh, hi.

[nervous laughing]

You candy asses are sitting in my spot.

Move!

Uh, can we, like, sit over here on the floor?

Whatever.

You block my view, and you're dead.

[laughing]

Cool.

Yeah.

Okay, nobody know where I am, 'kay?

So if anybody comes by looking for me, just play dumb.

Got it?

Uh...

[laughing]

Um, this is all we got, sir.

Me and Butt-Head were gonna like eat it for dinner?

But, um, you can have it.

You call this food?

Um, uh, what should I call it, sir?

[laughing]

Crap.

Yeah, this is crap, Beavis.

Shut up, bunghole!

This is your favorite food!

It used to be, buttwipe!

[banging on the door]

Get the door, you turds.

And remember, play dumb.

Where's Todd at?

Uh, we don't know.

Like we're dumb.

[laughing]

Yeah, uh, but we're like in his g*ng and stuff.

So you can talk to us.

That's cool.

We got a message for Todd so listen up.

[sounds of fighting]

[grunting and groaning]

Who was it?

Uh...

They said they like had a message for you.

But then they just kicked our asses.

[laughing]

Yeah, and we told them we were dumb.

Yeah.

They probably didn't believe us.

Uh, can we be in your g*ng now?

Shut up and fix the antennae.

Yeah.

Shut up, Beavis, and fix the antenna.

Circling the globe on a quest for sports

played only in bikinis, this is "“Wide World of Bikini Sports"”!

Yes!Yes!

Bikinis rule!

Damn it, sit your ass down.

Yeah, Beavis, at least try to be cool, dillweed.

Shut up, assmunch.

Um, are we like ready to be in your g*ng yet, sir?

[laughing]

Ahh!Listen.

If you were really loyal, you'd have kicked those guys asses.

To be in my g*ng, you gotta be more than just dumb.

[banging on the door]

Go get that.

Tell 'em I'm not here.

And bring some of those marshmallow things on the way

back or I'll stomp a mudhole in your ass.

Whoa, Todd's even cooler than we thought.

Boys, I'm looking for a fella that goes by the name of Todd.

Um, he's not in here.

That's not what we heard.

Uh... sir?

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to kick your ass.

Yeah, and I'm gonna kick you in the nads.

[laughing]

Ahh!

Hey, cut it out, butthole.

I'll kick your ass!

I'm gonna kick you in the nads.

Ahh, ahh!

Todd's gonna be pissed we didn't him those marshmallow crackers.

[laughing]

Yeah? Well, don't drop the soap.

[laughing]

Uh, soap?

Okay, follow me, girls.

So was Todd pissed?

Yeah, and he wants us to stop telling people we know him

'cause it like embarrasses him or something?

Oh, yeah, he's cool.

And he wants us to bring him some food if we ever get out.

Home sweet home, punks.

Hey, it's those wussies from Todd's g*ng.

Uh, we're like dumb.

Yeah, heh-heh.

And now I'm gonna kick your ass.

[laughing]

[grunting and groaning]

[Beavis] Don't make me kick your ass!

Ahh! Ahh!

[punching]

♪♪

Give me a bite of that Butt-Head, come on.

No way.

This burrito rules.

Come on, give me a bite.

No way!

Get your own, butthole!

I'm gonna take it.

Yeah, I'll kick your ass.

I warned you Beavis, I'm gonna kick your ass!

No way!

[grunting]

[Beavis] Cut it out!

I'll kick your ass, butthole!

Ahh!

Settle down, buttmunch.

Ahh!

Oh, yeah.

Whoa, hey, Butt-Head, look what I found.

Uh, what is it?

Um, I don't know but it's mine.

Come on, Beavis.

You're supposed to like share and stuff.

Whoa, cool.

Uh...

What is it?

Um, something, heh-heh.

Uh, yeah.

Cool.

[laughing]

Uh, what the hell is this thing?

Um... uh--

Say is that an SX?

Uh, what?

Uh, yeah, well, that sure is a nice camera.

Uh, thanks.

[laughing]

Hey, Beavis, it's like a camera.

Yeah, I know, I heard him, Butt-Head.

[laughing]

Uh, what should we do with it?

Let's break it!

[laughing]

[camera clicking]

No way.

Let's like take some pictures first.

Then break it.

[laughing]

Yeah, okay.

Check this out.

[laughing]

[camera clicking]

Hey, Butt-Head, check this out.

[laughing]

Peek-a-boo!

[laughing]

Yeah.

Say cheese.

Yeah, okay.

[laughing]

Cool.

Better get one of the captain.

[laughing]

Smile.

Here, let me do it.

[laughing]

I'm gonna have to get you to stand up straight.

[laughing]

Move over to the left a little.

[laughing]

All right, Bevis, now let's break it.

Yeah, cool.

[laughing]

Cool.

Whoa, check it out, Bevis.

Instructions or something.

[laughing]

Uh, it says, uh...

This bag... bag

belongs to, uh...

Reward!

Beavis, pick up those pieces.

There's a reward.

Really? Cool.

This is it, dude.

Yeah, this is gonna be cool.

Uh, um...

Oh my God, my God!

My God!

My babies.

[laughing]

Oh, I've missed you so.

Good Lord, you've been violated!

Uh, sir?

You know like, uh, the reward?

Yeah, yeah, the reward.

Now.

Oh, yes, yes.

Please, come and sit down.

[laughing]

Thank you so much for returning my precious pieces.

Without them I was thrust into a creative void.

The eyes of the master, blinded.

Are you familiar with my work?

Uh, no.

Yeah, where's the money?

[laughing] money.

You canker sore!

Is that all you care about?

Get out!

Cool.Yeah, yeah.

[woman] Astounding.

I've never seen anything like it.

The soulful expressions are so deeply relevant.

I'm sorry, I'm overcome.

Are you okay, Chastity?

Can we please sit down?

[sighing]

I only aspire to maybe someday communicate in this fashion.

I don't know, I'm so confused.

I mean, where does the genesis

of brilliant statements such as these come from?

[long burping]

Whoa.

[laughing]

Beavis, you gotta get a whiff of this.

[laughing]

Ahh [coughing], no way, butthole!

Cut it out, Aah!

That's so cool.Shut up, butthole!

[laughing]

♪♪

[screaming]

Damn it, Beavis, give me the remote.

No way.

[annoncer] Beavis and Butt-Head are back for the second part

of their insurmountable DVD collection.

Beavis and Butt-Head: The Mike Judge Collection Volume Two.

This better not suck.

more of the dumbest cartoons hand-picked by Mike Judge

including never before released on this three-disc set.

I see the beauty.

More, more, more... ahh!

These special features include music videos.

Special appearances and part two of the documentary

"“Taint of Greatness, the Journey of Beavis and Butt-Head,"”

featuring interviews with Mike Judge.

Yeah, heh-heh, we're pretty cool.

Twice the love.

I just wanna like, um, be a father over and over again.

Twice the warmth.

Thank you, my friend.

Uh, is that all?

And twice the stupidity.

I am Cornholio.

You don't want to face the wrath of my bunghole!

Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat.

Beavis and Butt-Head: The Mike Judge Collection Volume Two.

Coming soon to DVD.

Are we gonna like be naked?

[giggling] Oh, you.

♪♪