05x25 - Doug's Mural Mania

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

[whistling]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

[chattering]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

-[chuckling]
-Pfft.

[growling]

[screaming]

[yelping]

[whistling]

[indistinct talking]

[screaming]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop du-bop ♪

In the words of the great artist
Salvador Doozy...

Art happens.

It's what you are feeling
right now in this moment.

So, we have ten minutes left in class.

I want you all to grab
your brushes and feel!

Ready, set, create!

Wow. Ten minutes to create art.

I'm actually standing
in front of the actual house

that Doug Funnie actually lives in.

What a story.

He actually painted a masterpiece
in ten minutes.

[all gasp]

I think he's actually coming out.

[all gasp]

Oh, hey, Doug Funnie, look over here.

Hey, hey, can we get an interview?

[humming]

[onlookers muttering]

Tah-dah!

[onlookers cheer]

Oh, you should see what he can do
with a Sunday paper.

[teacher] Time's up.

Well, let's look at our
ten-minute works of art.

Doug, how about you?

What do you call your painting?

"I think I drew a blank"?
[laughs sheepishly]

[boy] Oh, man.

[footsteps]

[click]

That's me.

[click]

[Doug] Dear Journal,

I'd say it started out
like a typical week.

Goodness.

The usual, please.

Ooh, wow.

But it would be hard
to call the hottest week

in the history of Bluffington typical.

Whoa. Heh heh heh heh heh.

Ooh.

Ohh.

Ohh.

And at the rate the school
was getting built,

the air conditioning would be installed

around the time I graduated.

From college, that is.

Ow! Ooh, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

I have a surprise for everyone.

I think it's what you young persons
refer to as "cool."

I hope he's talking
about air conditioning.

Oh, you said it, man.

Your cafeteria has
a brand-spanking-new wall.

Huh? Oh, man.

Hey, cool.

[boy] Whoopee.

Uh, for a wall.

Ugh. The extreme heat

is causing me to perspire profusely,

thus making it
increasingly difficult to concentrate.

Oh, I concur.

The heat and this most bothersome
and itchy rash

we have developed.

Oh, yet another consequence
of an imperfect gene pool.

At this rate, we only have 24 hours

before we become gigantic twin rashes.

[both] Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Help!

We have to do something quick.

You are correct.

[Doug] Our class probably had
the hottest room of all

since it still didn't have a roof.

Everyone, I have an exciting
announcement to make.

Let me guess. Another wall?

No. The same wall,

only I've had a discussion
with your principal,

and we've decided
that it's more than a wall.

It's an opportunity!

Art happens.

It's the perfect place
for a student mural.

And so, we're going to have a contest

to choose our gigantic artist.

Our gigantic artist?

Come on, we're almost there.

-Where are we going, Doug?
-You'll see.

Okay, Doug. We made it. Now what?

Look.

Oh, Doug, you painted the moon!

How gigantic!

It is our duty to save the planet
from a prickly thermal doom.

Not to mention our uncomfortable chafing.

[Doug] Next morning, I turned in
my samples for the mural contest.

Hey, Doug-Vinci,

do a good job on that wall,

I'll let you wallpaper my bathroom.

[all laughing]

Okay, everyone.

Your teacher and myself
have rated your samples,

and we have a winner.

Or "winners," I should say.

Two people who will work together
on the mural.

Wow. Two people?

Ah ha ha. Oh, Doug.

St-stop it!

Stay on the canvas.

You probably look good with a mustache.

[Mrs. Perigrew]
And they are Doug Funnie...

[Mr. White] And Roger Klotz.

[both crying]

Hold your applause, everybody.

Roger and me?

And the mural is about to be unveiled.

It was a team effort by Doug Funnie...

That's me.

And Roger Klotz.

[Roger laughing] This is great.

I'm almost done.

Huh?

[humming]

Hmm? Joey Cucamunga!

I said I'm not done!

How can I work with Roger?

You know he won't
take this art stuff seriously.

Ah, you never know, man.
Maybe he'll surprise you.

Oh, man!

What's going on?

-[kids muttering]
-Roger?

Fasten your seat belts, losers.

[French accent] Art is about to happen.

[Doug] So I got to paint
the new school mural,

but it turned out I had a partner,
Rembrandt Roger.

Now, boys, you have
a great responsibility.

This mural is not just some
silly doodles on the wall.

It's an opportunity to show Bluffington
what a great mayor...

Uh, I mean, uh, principal I am,

so I'll be unveiling it on television

next Saturday afternoon.

Wait, Mr. White. That's less than a week.

Well, good thing there's two of you, then.

Now, I expect great things,

great things.

Perfect.

Well, we better get started
right away, Roger.

I was thinking about sports. Roger?

My artistic pose.

Roger, what are you doing?

Just getting a few publicity photos taken.

Get out of my light, would you?

-But--
-Ah, don't get your easel out of joint.

We got plenty of time.

Cheese.

-[Al] We must hurry.
-[Moo] I'm swelling up.

Pi. 32.

Negative four.

Et cetera.

[Doug] That night,
I drew some of my own ideas.

Working with Roger
was giving me some real inspiration.

[giggling]

Roger boiled in oil.

Roger chased by velociraptors.

Roger as shark chum.

What are you trying to say here, Doug?

This is all a big joke to Roger.

Then why don't you just do it yourself
and make it good?

Mmm, I like the shark one. Aah!

♪ Doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪
[imitates brakes screeching]

If he's getting half the credit,
he's gonna do half the work.

[Doug] I started my half

by checking out
the works of great artists...

Rembrandt, Picasso, Doozy.

Hey, Funnie, over here.

I brought a few art books
for us to research.

What research have you done?

Salvador Doozy.

-Whoa!
-[books clatter]

You bought a Salvador Doozy painting?

That must have cost a fortune.

Who said anything about a painting?

I bought Salvador Doozy.

[European accent]
Okay, boys, let's get going.

S-Salvador D-Doozy?

[Doug] I thought with a famous painter
like Salvador Doozy here,

Roger would have to work.

I think we should paint, like,
a sports mural

to show how kids can get along.

[sarcastic] Ooh! A sports mural
so we can get along.

I may throw up.

Well, what do you think we should paint?

The inside of a kid's brain.

Yes! I can see it!

No logic! No reason!

The landscape of the human unconscious.

Uh, I don't think I see it.

That is because you are no artist.

Look at your head...
Beady eyes, big nose, no bone structure.

It is all wrong!

Hey, I've got... bones.

Silence! I'm having an inspiration.

But my bone structure is--

He said, "silence!"

Hmm. Mmm.

Uh, mmm, purple.

Pfft. I weep.

Such inspiration.

Such bone structure.

Now, that kid, he is an artist.

-Huh?
-Thank you! Thank you!

Now, let us take a look at that wall.

[Doug] Finally we were
going to start work.

At last.

It is complete.

Now, all we have to do

is sh**t the electromagnetic
solar bihexional repulser cannon

directly at the moon...

Realign the Earth's orbit
so that's it's precisely

one nanometer further from the sun...

Thus solving the heat wave!

And curing us of our unsightly
and itchy rashes.

We are in position.

Its awesome power is quite frightening.

-I thought a sports mural would--
-Hayaballaywa!

Faaht! Before an artist begins,
he must start.

First, you must feel the wall.

-Ow!
-Don't touch the wall!

Feel the wall.

Ask yourself, "What does the wall want?"

-Listen.
-I don't hear--

-Hayaballaywa!
-Here they are.

Hey, guy.

Mr. Doozy, this is the editor of-- Hey!

Guy Graham, Daily Beebe.

We're doing a big spread on the wall.
"Mural mania," I call it.

So, what's the artistic angle, huh?

What's the highbrow lowdown?
What's the palette talk?

-What's the brush babble, huh?
-What?

Tell you what I think.

Before an artist begins,
he must feel the wall.

Don't touch the wall!

Feel the wall.

[all] Ooh.

[all] Ahh.

Oh, brother.

Ah, I'm speechless,

dumbfounded,

flabbergasted.

I smell artistic genius!

[Doug] I smelled a phony.

I was the real artist,
and I was going to prove it.

No way was I gonna let him
hog all the glory.

Wait! Wait! I'm having an inspiration.

[sniff sniff] Cork.

Fish.

Uh, what are you doing, Doug?

-What do you mean?
-All that.

Y-you're dressed like Roger.

No, I'm not.

My cape is longer. See? See?

[laughing]

Okay, guys, off.

But how's that gonna get
the wall painted, man?

I'm fighting fire with fire or...

Paint with paint or whatever.

But you've only got one day left
to do the mural.

Well, don't get your easel out of joint.

Come, Toulouse.

[ruff arr arr arr]

I believe the drop in temperature
is most conclusive.

Our ray g*n has worked.

And look, my brother.

Our unsightly rashes
are already disappearing.

-Success!
-Whoo-hoo!

Whoa!

Dougie, they said they're
about to do a story

on your little mural on the local news.

They are?

Urrh!

Hey, that's my cape!

Not so fast, Toulouse.

And now to Griffin Tahiramatsu-Estevez

at the Beebe Bluff School.

Sometimes artistic talent
emerges at a young age.

Such is the case with young Roger Klotz.

This kid, he has got it all...

The cranial structure,

the long fingers, the hat.

And you'll be painting
this entire mural single-handedly?

Well, not exactly.

See? He's gonna give you credit, too.

I have a little assistant.

Um, his name escapes me.

Huh?

Aah!

What was I thinking, Skeet?

The last person I should
try to be like is Roger.

Yeah, who'd want to be rich and famous

and have friends like Salvador Doozy?

[rrr]

My dad says Doozy can't draw
as good as my baby brother.

That's it! Skeet, you're a genius!

I know. What'd I say this time?

I know how Roger won that contest.

Why, oh, they're wonderful, Roger

I never knew you had this in you.

[Doug] Salvador Doozy must have done
Roger's painting for him.

That's why Roger won't start the mural,

because he can't paint!

He cheated! He's no artist.

Now he wants me to paint the mural for him

while he hogs all the credit on TV!

-Oh, Skeet, this is great.
-What do you mean?

I'm gonna expose Roger
as the phony that he is

in front of everybody!

Is it possible that
our calculations were off?

Could we be responsible

for the coming of the second ice age?

With our enormous brains,
it's entirely possible.

[both] We've doomed the planet!

Wow! It's Doug!

Hey, Doug, look over here.
Hey, can we get an interview?

Joey Cucamunga!

-What's all this?
-It's paint, Roger.

No, I mean that.

I asked Larry to videotape you and me
painting our mural, Roger.

[teeth chattering]

Uh, you look a little nervous
there, Roger.

Nobody said this was gonna be on tape.

Well, if you can't do it,
tell Mrs. Perigrew.

Aah!

It will be so exciting
to see all your preparations

brought to fruition on tape.

All ready to begin?

Yeah, Roger. Are you ready?

No! I'm not ready!

I'll never be ready!

I'm a phony!

I couldn't paint my way
out of a paper ba-a-a-g!

Doug is the talented one!

I'm-I'm just a bigmouthed lose-e-e-er!

Sure I'm ready.

-What are we waiting for, Funnie?
-Huh?

Oh, rats.

Uh, I've gotta call my...

mom.

Go ahead and start without me.

[Doug] Roger couldn't fake it any longer.

I had him.

-It is time to--
-Uhh!

It is time that we seek help.

But who knows more
about quantum mechanics than us?

More about algorithmic mathematics?

More about wave propagation?

Is there anyone that has
a bigger brain than us?

[both] The Wise One!

Mosquito Valentine, we need you.

Only you can stem the tide
of imminent global destruction.

Okay. Can you wait till I put my shoes on?

[whispering]

Yes.

Whoa!

Cool electromagnetic solar bihexional
repulser cannon.

Only, now we've brought on
the destruction of the planet.

[both] Oh, help us,
wise one called Skeeter.

Whoa! Wait a minute.

Where did you guys get the plutonium?

[both] Found it.

[nervous laugh]

Everybody's waiting, Roger.

We'd better start.

[crowd murmuring]

Funnie, we gotta talk.

Why don't we just talk for the cameras
so everybody can hear?

Uh, come on, Doug.

[boy] Yeah, tell us all about it, Roger.
You're the man.

There's something
I gotta tell you, Funnie.

I'm afraid.

Gee, why would that be, Roger?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Why don't you do the mural yourself?

You get all the glory.

That's fine with me, Roger.

Uh...

Uhh?

[Doug] At that moment, I realized
I hadn't done any planning all week.

I realized I did need Roger after all.

I needed someone to blame.

[all] Aw.

[Doug panting] Roger.

What do you want, Funnie?

Boys, let's get started...

Heh heh.

Now.

Roger, you've got to tell Mrs. Perigrew

it's all your fault because you lied
and can't really draw.

What? You think I can't draw?

Here! Gimme that!

I don't mean stick figures, Roger.

[Doug] Then Roger did something
that really surprised me.

Can't draw. Ha. I'll show you.

-Wha?
-Can't draw. Ha. Why, I...

I mean the kind of painting that... Huh?

How did you get all that with blue paint?

Practice.

[Doug] I couldn't believe it.

Roger painted an incredible picture
right in front of my very eyes.

I don't get it.

If you're that good, what's the problem?

The problem? Where you been?

Don't you remember?

First off, everybody begs me to paint
their stupid wall.

[all] Please paint
our stupid wall. Please.

Okay, okay. Bunch of crybabies.

Whoo! Yay!

[Roger] And remember that first day?

This better be great.

It's gonna be on television!

-But-but-but--
-If this wall looks bad,

you're out of school, Klotz.

[Roger] Then I had to save you.

You gotta help me, O great Roger.

Why did they pick me?

I can't do anything. I stink.

Funnie, control yourself.

What am I gonna do?

I brought art books
so we could steal ideas.

[sobbing]

[coughs]

Thanks.

Roger, that didn't happen.

The problem is everybody's expecting me

to be some kind of flaming Flembrandt!

You mean, you're worried
it might not be good enough?

Mmm, in a way.

Roger, we've got one hour.

We've gotta do something, together...

Or we're in trouble.

There's no way two guys

could paint that whole wall in an hour.

Hey! Good point.

Huh?

Come on, Flembrandt.

This thing might really be dangerous,

except your negative ion capacitor
doesn't match polarity.

Fifty-four.

One point sixteen.

Relax, guys.

What you've created
is the world's biggest flashlight.

The change of weather
couldn't possibly be your fault.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

You've changed.

Before we unveil the mural,

can you artists tell us what the title is?

My Wall.

Hey! All right. All right.

It's called Hands Across The Wall.

Ah, gimme a break.

Ooh! Ooh!

Let's give our artists a big hand.

Well, then you have
to applaud for everybody,

because we all worked together on this.

[all] Yay!

And it was all my idea!

[onlookers] Boo! Hiss!

[Doug] So, Journal,

I guess I should have
spent more time working

and less time trying to grab credit.

Heh ha ha.

And by the way, remember how hot it was?

Now it's freezing.

[both] Dear Electronic Compu-Journal...

The lesson we learned this week is...

With enormous brains
comes enormous responsibility.

[both] We'll never
almost destroy the world again.

[closing theme music playing]