04x04 - Duan-Ahn Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"...

[Children scream]jo tackles a subject

That millions of americans can relate to--

Overscheduling.

You know what? We need to go.

Would you guys buckle up so we can leave?

Mrs. Duan-ahn has her kids in so many activities

That the whole family is completely stressed out.

Mom is so exhausted from driving the kids around

That she's too tired to discipline them.

I'm feeling... Helpless.

These kids are so stressed out

That their behavior is out of control...

Stop![Cries]

And the parents are even scared to move into their new house.

To not move in to a dream home is ludicrous.

Can jo help bring order to this chaos...

This is your warning.

Or has she finally met her match?

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪♪ johnny ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪♪ johnny ♪

♪ Johnny ♪

♪♪♪

Let's see what I'm in for this week.

[Man and woman] hi. We're the duan-ahn family.

I'm forrest. I'm angela.

[Both] we have five kids--

[Angela] christopher, who's ...

Don't you dare, christopher!

Isabella, who's years old...

A set of twin boys, lawrence and benjamin,

Who are ...

[Growls]

You just got me, you stupid idiot!

And little charlotte, who's just turned .

[Roars]

The dynamics between the three boys--

It's just constant fighting, just very tense. Ow!

[Children scream]no.

Aah!aah!

Stop![Cries]

Now that's bullying.

Did you see that?

[Angela] the toughest time with the children

Is right after school.

They go to chinese school.

They have soccer, golf, tennis.

They also have art class.

The older two have private piano lessons,

And christopher also has another writer's workshop.

There's a lot of pressure

In getting them to the next place on time.

I'm constantly on the road, driving them around.

Here's the plan, kids.

When we get home, you wash your hands and do your homework,

And I'm gonna make dinner.

And then I'll put your dinner in containers,

And we can eat on our way to go pick up brother.

Okay, guys, go get in the car. We're gonna eat.

So do these kids live in the house or the van?

[Angela] so many kids, so little time,

So many things to do. I end up having to yell and scream

Before they'll actually listen.

Lawrence, stop it! I mean it!

Stop it! I mean it!

You don't hit your mother! Stop it!

Mom looks stressed.

Forrest and I are both dentist,

And we own four offices.

My working schedule is from monday through saturday,

And I wish I have more time to spend with the kids,

To watch them grow.

Hello! Hi, honey.

Daddy!hi, charlotte.

Ah! Whoo!

Because of his wok

And the other projects that he's doing,

He is really hardly ever home.

So as soon as forrest finishes dinner,

He'll be like, "okay, I'm done"... See you guys, okay?

And then just walks into the computer rom

And finds himself with things to do up there.

We built a houe three years ag,

And we haven't moved in because forrest is afraid

That the children will tear up the new house,

Like how they've torn p this house. [Laughs]

[Boy laughs]

Christopher![Boys laugh]

T-there's really something wrong here.

I'm always mad at them. And I look at their little faces,

They're mad at one another.

I need a miracle.

[Both] supernanny, we need your help.

Come now.

Five children, overscheduled and stressed--

Yes, you do need my help, and I'm on my way.

[Rings doorbell]

Hi, jo!hello.

Welcome.hi.

Come on in.hi. Welcome.

Pleased to meet you.nice to meet you.

Jo. Thank you. Pleased to meet you.this is my husband forrest.

Forrest. Nice to meet you.hi. Pleased to meet you, forrest.

When I first arrived, I met angela and forrest.

So...you have beautiful teeth.

Oh, thank you.

That's the first thing I noticed.

The smile?yeah.

Yeah, your beautiful smile. Good job.thank you.

Well, you're gonna be on your way them, huh?

Yes, I'm leaving.okay.

Okay.[Jo] and forrest was on his way to work.

Mom then informed me that we were going to pick up the kids,

And so I got in the back of the car.

I decided that I would meet the children

On their way home from school.

She was a little bit worried, to say the least.

Here we go.

We pull up by the school,

And I wait patiently in the car.

Lawrence, leave that for her. I'll learn. Close your eyes.

Mom asked them to put their seat belts on

And to turn around,

And nobody listened.

Benjamin, sit down. Lawrence, sit down.

Sit. Turn around.

You know what? Charlotte, sit down.[Charlotte] mom!

Put down the seat belt, please. Don't exit that way.

So I sat there patiently, watching them all...

Sit down.no, you sit down first!

[Boys yell]

And they really started to mess around.

You're the liar!

You're a liar!lawrence, if you're not gonna buckle,

You're getting out of the car.

I told you.hey!

With that, mom tries to distract them with a box of pears...

Mommy, I want pears! Mommy!

[Angela] don't grab it from your sister.

Ben--lawrence, give that back. Don't do that.

At which they start throwing the pears at one another.

[Screams]

And I realized this woman had no control.

[Lawrence] you're the liar! You're a liar!

Ah, mommy. Aah!

You know what? We need to go.

Would you guys buckle up so we can leave?

It's minutes, and we're still stationary.

[Cries]

[Angela] christopher, stop it.

And then she starts to shout at the kids

And tell them to behave theirselves,

And they end up laughing.

[Angela] stop![Charlotte and benjamin laugh]

[Jo] when you've got your child at school all day,

And then having to race from one activity to the next,

It becomes very tiresome day in and day out.

Christopher has nine after-school activities a week.

Golf, soccer, math,

Chinese class,

Piano and cub scouts--

That's additional hours on top of school,

Plus homework.

So much.

Honey. It's not this backpack.oh, yeah.

It's the other backpack.

Going from activity to activity is, uh...

Quite stressful.

[Christopher] I didn't say it! Stop looking at me.

And then I see christopher arguing with isabella,

And he spits straight into her face.

[Angela] christopher, don't spit on your sister.stop.

[Jo] she just broke down in humiliation,

So upset at his behavior.

And christopher really didn't have any remorse.

[Christopher] 'cause...

[Angela] christopher, that's--but it still counts!

No, it doesn't.[Angela] isabella, just ignore him.

And yet, mom did nothing.

Mom just continued to drive the car.

[Boy] I have no idea...stop!

[Lawrence shouts]

[Jo] I was just wondering,

You spend so much time looking in your rear mirror,

But how much time do you spend looking forward and driving?

Do you feel safe?i feel safe.

Really?yes.

Because right now, I don't.[Lawrence] you're the liar!

Coming up,

Jo gives mom and dad a piece of her mind.

The behavior is out of control in this house,

Completely out of control,

And it turned my stomach.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Laughter]

Get if off.[Speaks indistinctly]

[Children shrieking]

I saw the kids in the car behaving the way they were,

And so I wasn't surprised when we got back to the house,

Because their behavior just got worse,

And mom did nothing about it. Nothing.

I don't think that forrest

Really knows how hard it is for me,

Because he is gone to work most of the day.

Just rinse it off. Stay right here. Rinse it off.

You're feeling frustrated. You're feeling...

And I'm angry.

Angry.

I'm feeling...

Helpless.

There's something very important from this piece of paper

That's missing.

So what kind of happens now? It's, like, :,

And what will they do? Finish the homework?

Finish the homework, and I get them to bed.

And then you get to bed.right.

Right. So no real kind of schedule,

Just finish the homework and then...

Ideally, I like them to go to bed right about now, :.

:, :--That would be ideal, but we always seem to run late,

And so it probably gets really done about :.right.

[Jo] I think we can say that americans

Are extremely enthusiastic

In making sure that their kids do far too many activities.

The reason these kids are up so late

From finishing their homework is because they don't get home

Till at least : p.m. From all their other activities.

That's way too late.

What do you do when you're not doing your homework?

Do you get much time to do that?

No. Why is that?because my...

She gives you too much to do.

I'm always worried

That the next day when the homework is due,

That I can't finish it because I have other activities,

That the teacher might get really mad at me.

So do you get to do what your friends do?

Do you get to hang out and have playdates as well?

Uh...

Seeing the kids so stressed out

With so much work that they had to do

After doing a day at school was a real concern for me

Because I could see the impact it was having on the kids.

With the temper tantrums, the attitudes,

The--the tiredness, the crying.

There's no room to breathe.

Hello! Hi, kids. How are you?

Whoo![Laughs]

So eventually, dad comes home.

And dad becomes the human jungle gym,

And it's nearly time for bed.

[Cries]a lot of times,

That's pushing us late to finishing homework

And finishing all the work that they need to do

Before they can go to bed.

Go finish your homework. I'm not gonna pull you.

Go finish your homework.

The kids have so much activities,

So when they came home,

Then still to have to deal with a lot of homework,

Then it create a lot of, uh, emotion and a lot of temper.

The kids--they're not listening.

[Cries]

I don't want to!

Can--can I ask,

Who--who disciplines them when it's the pair of you?

But you don't discipline. You do then?

I really usually do.

What do you make of what she just said?

I don't see them that much...yeah.

I only see them, like, a half-hour...yeah.

Or an hour each day.yes.

[Children arguing]so I think, uh, they might have some excuse

To be a little bit wild.[Boy] no!

He told me how he doesn't have the time.

Time is something that you have to carve in,

And I don't really feel that forrest understands that.

Okay, honey, I'm gonna go upstairs,

Do my--do my paperwork.

[Angela] okay.okay. I'll see you.

You said you wouldn't, and you did it.

[Boy crying]

It's :,

Already an hour past their bedtime,

And they still haven't even finished their homework yet.

It's gonna be a late night for this family,

So I'm heading out now.

So, guys, I'll see you all tomorrow, okay?

[Forrest] see you. Good night.good night.

Good night. Thank you.good night, angela. Thank you very much.

Forrest, see you tomorrow.

Having spent a day with this family,

Mom's stressed out. The kids are stressed out.

There's no discipline.

Dad workstoo long a day.

And their schedule is ridiculous,

Absolutely ridiculous,

And these guys need some structure

And a good framework.

And I can't wait to actually get talking to them

And straighten this out.

The first thing that I do want to discuss

Is the behavior

Is out of control in this house,

Completely out of control.

They won't listen.

They smart-mouth. They have attitude.

They hit. They punch.

They do what they want.

All of that has got to stop.

Traveling in the car yesterday

Was the journey to hell and back.

Christopher spat in isabella's face yesterday,

And it turned my stomach.

♪♪♪

There is no discipline.

There's no technique in place

That follows through the lessons to be learned.

"You act like this, this is the consequence"--

Because that is your job as a parent,

And you're not doing it right now.

We already know, forrest, that you've said

It's because it's the last thing you wanna do

When you get home from work, right...

Mm-hmm.

Is discipline the kids?

You work very hard.

You run your practices,

Supporting the family financially.

What are you giving emotionally?

I try to just show them as much love as I can,

And I try to put in as much time as possible,

As soon as I get home.

Those kids don't get that time from you.

They get half an hour, if they're lucky.

How much time do you spend sitting down with them?

How much time do you spend up in the office,

When actually, office should be finished,

And now it's about you being home?

I just need to cut back my working schedule.

I think that's the only thing I can--

And that's what's important here--

Priorities, forrest. Right?

Angela, why is it so important for you as a mother

To have your children do so many activities in one week?

Each child only has a few activities.

Christopher has nine.

Okay.and isabella has seven.

We both would like them to be, um, exposed

To an extracurricular, as well as sports.

It is good that you are exposing them

To the opportunities that the world has to offer for them,

But you've been unrealistic with your expectations.

The kids are getting stressed out.

We didn't realize that's--

We're putting the pressure on the kids.

We--we thought we were doing a-a favor,

Make sure they're total occupied.

Making sure they're occupied, so that we don't have to do

What's expected of us as parents.

You've used the classes as...

Substitute.

But let's talk about the new house,

Not the one we're in now.

To work so hard

And to not move in to a dream home for three years

Is ludicrous.

I think it's kind of crazy, yeah.

But i-i really feel that the reason behind that

Is because of how things are at home.

I'm asking you to admit things about yourself right now

That you need to change.

So I'm here to help you

And support you guys in doing that, if you are ready for it.

I'm ready.

Definitely.

All right. Let's go and start some work.

Coming up on...

Jo forces this family to move,

But will the kids make her regret her decision?

You're going to end up being disciplined.

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

I think it's absolute madness

That these parents are afraid to move

Because of their children's behavior,

So this morning, I've got a big surprise for them.

[Forrest and angela] hi.

How are we all?[Angela] really good.

Are you ready for some news?[Boy] yeah.

[Boy] yes.this is what we are doing right now.

We are going to move in to the new house.

[Children cheering]

All right, good.

Fresh change, new house.

You're gonna feel the fear and do it anyway.

I know that, you know, we do have to move.

It just seems like it's such a huge task.

Um, I'm just dreading it.

So what I have brought for you all are these.

These are get go bags, all right?

And this one's got benjamin's name on it.

You all have one.

What I want you to do

Is to put your special things into this bag,

So that tonight, when you're sleeping there, okay,

At least you have the familiar things around you

That are special to you

Until all the rest of the boxes get unpacked.

Moving home is one of the most stressful things

A family can do.

The get go bag is a fantastic idea.

It'll allow them to feel a part of the process.

Get go bag. Get go bag.

I know that angela and forrest are afraid to move,

But it's their chance to put structure into their new home.

Now check out my room.

[Jo] oh, look at you lot.cool.

Oh, look at charlotte. Somebody help charlotte.

She's struggling.

I feel like dancing.

[Laughs]

Ooh, this is a house.

Okay, you go over there and put--tuck it in more.

I'm really excited to move into our new house

Because we have a larger space.

Okay, let's go over to the house rules.

[Angela] the children are very excited

About moving in to the new house.

They don't know

That we're gonna have new rules and new expectations.

I think that the kids are going to be in a bit of a shock.

This here says "house rules."

This is what we are all going to follow in this house.

Did you make that?new house.

In our new house, this is what every--did you make that?

Lawrence.lawrence, come here.

[Speaks indistinctly]hey, dad,

Bring the children over, please.

I'd like-- won't you look at me, please,

Because I'm going to say something.

Mom and dad are talking to you about the house rules.[Giggles]

I'd like you to listen,

Stay in one place and do as you're told, okay?

This is your warning.

If you choose to not to listen to what I am saying right now,

Then I am putting you straight into discipline.

All right, stand up, all of you, please.

[Angela] now we are going through the house rules.

"Respect your home."What is that?

You don't have to respect the exterior.

Oh...

[Forrest] christopher.okay, how's christopher gonna listen to you?

Christopher, listen here. When--when our mom...dirty.

Ask him to look at you, okay?

[Forrest] look at daddy and mom.

[Jo] okay, look at daddy while I'm talking to you.

That's not right, christopher.why?

That's not right.

[Christopher] I'm looking at you.

Let me give you--is he being disrespectful?

Is he being disrespectful to look at you like that?yes.

All right, to look at your father like that

And to pull that face is being disrespectful.

I'd like you to look at me, please.[Lawrence laughs]

You're gonna end up sitting on the reflection chair

And being disciplined.

Christopher still showed attitude,

Even after a warning,

So now it was time for discipline.

Come down, please. I'd like you to explain to christopher

Why he's in this reflection chair.

What is it that he didn't do?

We want you to be a good kid.

We want you to grow up properly,

Be a useful person to the--for the society.

That is-- that's definitely great stuff,

But for now he needs to know wh-why he's here.why you stay here, christopher.

You stay here for nine minutes.

You're here because you didn't listen to me.

There's your book in there.

I'd like you to write down why and the effects of it, please.

[Jo] you know better.

The children do one minute per their age

In the reflection chair,

Writing about what they did wrong.

After the reflection chair,

The children go to the communication couch

To talk about what they wrote.

Okay, when jo jo tell you-- when jo jo's talking,

Tell you to do something, you're not listening.

You do your own things.

Do you think it's the right thing to do?no.

Okay, is that the same thing

You want the people to do to you when you talking?

Do you want to see that happen?

[Mouths words]what are you thinking now

And what are you gonna do in the future, christopher?

Mm...

And again, let's hug.

Come here, man.

Aw... Yay! [Laughs] I'm sorry.

Well done.

Thank you.

That was a fantastic analogy.thank you.

And you sat down, and you explained.

And you asked him to look at you when you were talking.

That was fantastic.thank you.

Wonderful communication couch. Wonderful, wonderful.

Coming up on...

Mom drives jo mad.

You need to make sure that you take your five kids

To where they need to go, safe.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

With the rules and disciplines firmly in place in the new home,

It's now time to tackle the schedule.

This mom--she's so overstressed and overscheduled,

That she doesn't even realize

That her kids have over activities a week.

That's the next thing I wanna address.

You see that big mountain over there?

I tell you what we're gonna do.

We're gonna see if we can hold what we do during the week.

So, mom and dad, I want you to take what you see here

And whoever it belongs to,

You have to give it to the child.

And you have to try to hold it, okay?[Children laugh]

Ready?[Forrest] yeah.

[Jo] let's go mom and dad!

♪♪♪

They were keeping me quiet!

I can't hold this, daddy!

Come on, charlotte.ballet.

When jo had the kids get all piled up with their activities

And I looked at these poor kids, and I said to myself,

"What parent am i?

Overloading the kids with so many things to do."

This exercise was to set up exactly how many...mm-hmm.

Classes you put your kids through every week.

Can I ask you a question?

Do we need to change the activities?

[Children] yes!

Okay, let's drop the stuff then.

Oh. [Laughs]

The next thing I wanted to do

Was to come up with a new manageable schedule.

We are going to strip some of those activities,

Create a new routine,

A schedule that allows some fun time, some downtime,

Some family time, some rest--no stress.

Okay?okay.

But there will be some that you will have to keep,

And they'll be important that you do keep,

And mom and dad will explain why.

Okay, I'd like to ask you both

To decide which are the mandatory ones--

The ones that they must do.

Right.

[Boy] oh, man!

Oh, man!oh, man.

I hate chinese school.

We are going to keep chinese...oh, no!

Because it is part of who we are.

I know it. I know--i knew we'll keep.

[Jo] one day, they'll thank you for it. One day.

They really want their kids to go to chinese school

So they can learn chinese language and culture

And be in touch with their chinese heritage.

So now it's time

For the kids to choose a few activities for themselves.

[Angela] isabella, what are the lessons

That you want to keep?

You like ballet.what would you like to take up?

Yeah, I like drums.[Angela] you wanna do drums?

You guys doing cub scouts?

Yeah, I'm doing cub scouts and skating.

Even though the schedule

Is going to make everybody's life more manageable,

Mom's still struggling.

One thing we haven't discussed is the tutoring,

The language art tutor...

Yes.

Which I think is important.

It's all too much work on top of eight hours of schoolwork.

For him, his--his--his english is pretty advanced,

But when it comes to individual writing--

Nice sentences, descriptive paragraphs--

He's not doing it.

But he's years old.

He's not even in middle school yet.

He needs some breathing space.

As much as you're torn, sitting there thinking,

"I need him to do this, I need him to do that,"

If--if we go ahead with that,

We're gonna be back to square one again.

It was a bit hard to give up a lot of these great activities,

But we're both willing to give it a try.

You know, it is going to create more harmony,

Not so much stress for all of you.

And, you know, it's not something

That you're actually gonna see in four weeks or five weeks.

You're gonna see that straight away,

And you're allowing space

For you to spend time with the children

So they can be around their mother,

So that you can enjoy motherhood.[Chuckles]

You know, enjoy it, because you wasn't enjoying it.mm-hmm.

With the activities sorted out,

The family's gonna be spending much less time on the road.

But the kids still need to behave

With the time that they do spend in the car,

So I introduced mom to the car drill.

You need to do this because your behavior

Has been incredibly naughty and very unsafe in the car

When mom's been driving you to your lessons--

So bad that you are very lucky

That there has not been a car accident.

So with good behavior

And you listening to the car drill,

It means that we'll be able to have safe journeys

To wherever we're going.

Okay, we're gonna do one at a time.

Number one-- where the kids sit.

Okay, I'd like you to give direction to the children

Where they're to sit.[Angela] lawrence, I want you to sit in the seat behind mommy.

[Jo] the main goal of the car drill

Is to make sure that mom's in control of the journey

From start to finish,

And you establish this

By going over the routine over and over again.

Once that's done,

The children will know what's expected of them

And they'll start to behave better.

Number two--take one game or toy with you, okay?

Parents should always make sure

They've got something to keep their kids entertained

When they're in the car for a stop.

Okay, number three is seat belts on and no standing up.

So back in the car. We're gonna do one, two and three.

All right, the next one is gonna be for you, okay?

You're gonna lay down the expectations and behavior

Once you're in the car.

All of the house rules apply in the car as we're at home.

Can somebody else add any suggestions?

[Jo] no, you add the suggestions.

They're your rules. You're driving.

There's no suggestions coming from them.

It's all coming from you.

You need to make sure that you take your five kids

To where they need to go safe.

They do as they're told.

Do you remember how manic it was?

Do you remember how unsafe I felt?

[Jo] the idea is that setting rules

Will help the parents regain control.

But, of course, these parents have got to step up as well.

You're only in control if you behave like you're in control.

The last one is for you, mom, okay?

Stop the car if you are losing control.

So if these kids are kicking off in the back

And you need to give a warning,

You're gonna stop the car, and you're gonna turn around

And look at whoever needs a warning.

All right, so that they know, okay?[Angela] okay.

Listen, have fun whilst jo jo's away for a few days, okay?

I want you guys to implement everything that we've learned,

Make sure that we are following the routine that we have down.

Take care, and I'll see you when I get back.

Now it's in their hands whether they step up and take control.

It's down to them.

♪♪♪

Coming up on...

Christopher tests mom's resolve.

...yelling at your brothers.[Scoffs]

No, I'm talking to you.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

After a few days without me,

I'm really excited to see how well they've done with the kids.

I hope that the new home has given them

The fresh start they've been waiting for.

Are we ready to take a look?yes.

Right, okay.

[Angela] I think what we should do is we should...

We should do five of them.

We should make this really, really thick dough.

I think it's not-- it's too wet now.

We should probably put more flour in it.

There's more flour on the bottom.

[Boy] not the whole--[forrest] oh, too much.

Whoa! Aah!

[Angela] lookit, it's erupting! [Boy] oh, cool!

It's a volcano.volcano-- they tried to make volcano.

Baking soda and vinegar.that's fantastic!

The kids had fun.

They were able just to come together as siblings

And hang out with you guys.

A lot of fun. I haven't done this for a long time--

Quite a long time.so you felt very rewarded yourself?

Yes.made it all worth it?

It feel like have a family life back.

There's a-a massive difference in the children's behavior.

We've seen a dramatic improvement

With christopher's behavior

Because the activities have been taken out of the schedule,

Which has created a lot more contentment.

And yet, let's not forget about

The major, major reasons that brought this all together,

And that is because we are now in a new environment as well.

We are now in the home that we wanted to be in.

You can just see, you know,

How much more relaxed the kids are for it and you guys as well,

And it's really made a difference.

You should be very proud.

Thank you.

Lawrence, next time I do not need your help.

[Lawrence] I'm not gonna help anybody!

Christopher, when people have an intention

Of coming to help you, you don't talk to people that way.

You tell them nicely,

Say, "well, lawrence, I can handle it. It's okay"

[Christopher] well, I already told him two times,

But he does not listen to me.

[Angela] hey. Hey, buddy, you need to take a deep breath. [Exhales deeply]

What did you say?

Don't point at mom.

No, we're not joking. Christopher.

Christopher, you need to go into the reflection chair.

Okay.

Go. Okay.

But if you--

Okay...

[Angela] okay.

Love it. You're both working together here.

You're both coming from the same place,

And christopher is able to see that in full force,

Which is a major step for the pair of you.

So well done for the pair of you. I'm very proud.

I'm just reminding you

About what we do when we get into the car.

[Boy] in the trunk, in the trunk.

Benjamin, now we have gotten into the ca.

What do we do next? [Child shouting indistinctly]

You can read this book,

Or you can wait until your sister is finished.

Which one would you rather have?

Okay, I'm liking this!

[Both chuckle]

You've kept nice and cool here.

There was some praise in the beginning,

And you've given the children choice. Lovely.

Christopher, was she grabbing the book away from you?[Christopher] yes.

Okay, charlotte. That's a warning for you, charlotte.

You need to ask nicely.

Okay. Good to see, good to see.

Straight away, you nipped it in the bud

And you're giving a warning.

What can I say? Fantastic. Well done.

Let's move on to the next bit.

You're in the reflection chair right now

Because you were yelling at your brothers. [Scoffs]

No, I'm talking to you. [Grunts]

All right, I want you to sit here

And think about what it is that you did... No writing?

And how it affected other people. Do I have to write?

You're gonna write it down.

Okay, I need to question here because he's in the chair

And you're talking to him,

Which is not part of the discipline, because--

Don't be talking with him in the reflection chair?correct.

If you ignore what he's saying,

Then he realizes your word's final.

As soon as you start to talk back,

You've shown him you don't have that control.

It's a power/control thing with you and christopher.

Power/control.

Okay, so this is our last bit.

[Whines] I want my hot dog from yesterday.

[Whines] you don't have to push my backpack!

[Whines] I'm already done!

[Whines] why does isabella

Only have to play once?!

[Whines] but no one said you can do that!

Oh, dear. Let's just stop it for a moment.

It's enough to drive anyone bonkers.

He has learned to communicate through whining,

And he needs to be set a very good example

Of how to be able to use his normal voice to communicate.

So how would you show an example?

What does christopher sound like when he whines?

[Imitates christopher whining] mom, I want a sandwich!

I said it many times!

[Laughs] exactly.[Normal voice] is that right?

Exactly.[Laughs]

As soon as they see a grown adult

Behaving how they do, it becomes a comedy show.

It allows us to set the example

And show them exactly how they sound,

And then for you guys

To only accept what he's saying when he does change his voice.

So having seen all of these clips,

Today what I would like to do is to work with the pair of you

And just really tweak everything.

So are we ready to get going?

Mm-hmm.

Good. Okay. So let's go.

Coming up on...

Jo has one last chance

To bridge the gap between christopher and mom.

Your anger is now

Making people frustrated and mad.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

So it's my last day with the duan-ahns,

But there's still a few things that I need to change.

First, mom's still having problems

With christopher and the reflection chair.

Christopher--mom, I want to know what time it is.

There was a lot of communication happening on the chair,

Rather than the communication happening on the couch.

Mom was really feeding in

To this back talk from christopher.

At , he's finished.

What time is it?

And they really struggled, the pair of them,

With this power and control.

Let's go to the communication couch

And talk about what you wrote down.

So what was the last part of that, christopher?

What did you write down?you read it out loud.

"I made other people feel frustrated and angry

When I had that behavior."

Mm. I'm--i'm curious to know why.

Why don't you actually want for your mother

To feel frustrated or angry with you?

Because it makes her mad.

I don't know.

Your anger is now making people frustrated and mad.

So I am pleased to see,

Because it shows me that you are fully aware.

This communication couch

Is incredibly important for the pair of you.

These are the conversations on this couch

That allow our children to ask questions

And for us to answer honestly.

It allows room for our children to realize

That we're not unfair.

We're just doing what we feel is right

As parents that we must do. Good?

Yes.

I'm very impressed

With the progress this family has made.

However, just before I leave,

There's one little thing I need to fix.

What I want you guys all to really think hard about

Is the way that we speak to one another.

This is what jo jo hears all the time.

[Whining] I want a drink.

I want my book.[Children laugh]

I think that my kids, uh,

Sometimes do whine to get attention.

I mean, isn't that what you hear?

What do you hear, forrest, from your children?

What to they say?[Whines] mom, I want the burger.

[Children laugh]

[Whines] but I want to wear this dress.

It's easy for a child to adopt that whining tone

When they are emotionally feeling upset

Or--or feel that there's an injustice going on.

But then what happens very easily is that

The child starts to adopt that as their normal voice.

Now is that talking properly or is that whining?

[Isabella] whining.yeah, whining.

So let's think about how we talk to one another,

And if you sound... [Whines] like this...

[Normal voice] then what mom and dad are gonna say to you,

Okay, "use your normal voice."

The kids laughed, and we laughed ourselves.

So we realized, it's unacceptable behavior.

[Jo] so can I get a big group hug before I leave?

Oh, hug.a big group hug!

Thank you, jo.

Thank you so much

For helping us to make the whole family happier,

Have a more smiling on each body's face.

Thank you so much.you're welcome. Listen, keep up the work.

We will. We'll try.you know, you've seen what a difference

That you've made already and just keep going with it.

Look at this little one. Look. She's passed out.

She's fast asleep.[Coughs]

Angela.thank you.

Take care. You're welcome. Mwah.

Take care of yourself, okay?mm-hmm.

And just keep--keep it up. Keep it up.

I will like to thank jo for coming to our house

To help with all of us.

Okay, well...bye!

Bye! Bye, christopher.

Bye, benjamin. Bye, silly kid.

Have fun in your new classes, all right? Enjoy them.

Okay. What is--enjoy them. Bye-bye.

[Children] bye!thank you.

[Forrest] bye, jo. Bye-bye.[Jo] bye, guys. Bye-bye. Take care!

[Speaks chinese]

[Forrest] dinnertime.[Boy] dinnertime.

When mom's serving you rice, what do you say?

[Boy] thank you, mom.[Charlotte] thank you, mommy.

[Angela] forrest and I are together on the same page

When it comes to parenting the children,

That there's a lot more communication.

We're definitely glad that we did move

And everything else is behind us.

Wow. Christopher, you have a good appetite.

I haven't eaten a so delicious thing in a long time.

Since jo came in, the kids have been changed quite a bit,

Especially christopher.[Angela] grandma, you know what?

Christopher was not in the reflection chair

At all today.wonderful.

His temper is getting much better.

Angela and i-- we can see the change.

[Boy] aw, cool!

[Isabella] cool!

Aah![Laughs]

[Angela] I think giving up those activities has been worthwhile

Because the children are a lot happier...

Whoo-hoo!and we're having time that we can spend together.

These are the things that we've actually never done before,

So it's a great experience.

[Cheering]

I think jo jo is cool

Because she really helps our family

To make a difference.

[Jo] this family wanted the help.

They were willing to really motivate themselves

And to make those changes, so I walk away a-a happy nanny.

Thank you so much

For helping us to make the whole family happier,

Have a more smiling on each body's face.

Let's move on to the next bit.

Charlotte, let's go, please. It's about bedtime,

And then tomorrow morning, you can't get up.

Like, do you remember this morning?

Charlotte, come here. Dad's talking to you.

[Laughs]

Oh, I love it. This is a classic case of...

[Singsongy] I've got daddy around my little finger.

Reel daddy in. Reel daddy in.

[Normal voice] so we do need to change that.

When she's not listening,

There and then, I want you to give her a warning,

Because what she's doing is wrapping you

Around her little finger and getting away with it.