05x14 - The Davis Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

One of the most shocking episodes ever.

Daddy, no! Now knock it off.

When jo visits the davis family,

What she sees leaves her speechless.

You do what I tell you to do,

And you shut your damn mouth about it.

Dad often leaves his daughters in tears...

I did nothing to him, mom.

While mom sits idly by.

And you allow this to happen.

What does that say about your self-respect?

Dad's idea of discipline is primitive...

[Cries]

And the family is on the brink of falling apart.

If it doesn't get better, then what? I don't know.

Can jo get dad to change his ways?

Your behavior's gonna break these children's spirits.

Or will things finally go too far?

Oh, my.

You smacked her.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Well, I'm back in florida in sunny deltona.

Let's take a look at the family that needs my help this time.

We're the davis family from deltona, florida.

I'm phil. And I'm debby, and we have five children--

Morgan, who's ...

Phillip is .

Madison, who's .

Tiffany is .

And torrie is .

I'm a water plant operator.

I am a commercial insurance sales producer.

I thought you cleaned the kitchen, morgan.

This ain't clean.

Phil is my step-dad, but he's raised me since I was ,

So I just call him "dad."

Let's pick this up. Let's go.

Well, I'm not pickin' it up. They did it.

Morgan was up here watchin' 'em,

And look what she let 'em do.

Well, why don't you pick it up? You're the father.

Help me get them to pick it up.

You get it. It's your job.

First thing a wife should do

Is she should have the house clean before she leaves.

[Scoffs] yeah. She should have the kids ready in a--in a decent time.

She should, uh, when she gets home from work,

Which, hey, you're sittin' on your rear end all day...

This man needs a good talking-to.

The mornings here are...

A nightmare.

It takes an hour to get morgan out of bed. Yeah.

The only way we can get her up is call her on her cell phone.

[Cell phone rings]

See you later, deb. [Debby] phil leaves for work early.

I have to get my little sisters dressed,

And I have to make sure phillip's getting dressed.

[Crying]

Morgan does help me do that.

She complains about it and whines about it,

But it's what we have to do.

I have to get to my job. Let's go.

I--you gotta get you to school, morg.

Mom's coming. Get in.

It's so chaotic in the mornings

That we can't get her to school on time.

Come on.

I'm a straight "a" student,

But I'm failing my first period

Because I'm always late.

This is all messed up.

My dad loses his temper so bad

That he'll call me and my little sisters "b*tches."

When I get mad at my girls, I will say the "b" word to 'em.

Yes. And I'll be like, "you little bitch, come here,"

'Cause i-i-- and I shouldn't say that.

If I catch you doing it again, you're gonna get a spanking.

You understand?

My dad-- he'll spank the girls.

Daddy, no! Now knock it off.

We've tried the time-out thing, and--

That time-out thing's for the birds.

That's all right. I'll go get my belt. [Crying]

You gonna sit in that chair? If I see you get up...

That's disgusting,

Absolutely appalling.

Our family has gotten so bad

That my parents have separated quite a few times in the past.

Supernanny, please, come help my family.

This is very disturbing, to say the least.

So hold on, because I will be with you all very, very soon.

♪♪♪

Hello. Hi.

Hi. Jo frost. I'm debbra davis. How are you?

Very well, thank you.

I was so incredibly happy to see jo.

I'm so happy that you came.[Laughs]

[Phil] I was really nervous about jo coming in,

Wondering what she was thinking

Of what kind of person I was or my family.

[Jo] mom and dad's first order of business

Was to sort out snack time,

And I couldn't help but see mom was doing everything,

And dad was just over watchin' it.

So are there duties that you both share together then?

Anything to do with the kids...

Yeah. Is my responsibility.

Right. Anything to do with cleaning is my responsibility.

All right, then, sorry, yours is...

I'm just trying to define here. Oh, my--

We haven't figured that one out yet.

No, mine is go to work, come home... Play video games.

To play with phillip, relax, so he has quality time.

He has, like, no responsibilities.

Don't--you know, he comes home, and he gets to relax.

I don't get to do that.

[Jo] seriously, are you kidding me?

He's got no idea

About the importance of couples coming together

And sharing the responsibilities when they both work.

That's another thing. I'll come home. Ce-- we don't have time

In the morning to clean the house, though. [Crying]

There's time to pick up your cereal bowls and don't leave--

I've got five children and me to get ready.

Nobody--nobody eats in the morning.

Nobody eats in the morning. [Crying]

There's one, two, three of you that are here.

Phillip eats at school, and the girls eat at day care.

They don't eat here. [Record needle scratches]

Can i-- can I ask a question?

Is this how you talk to each other all the time? All the time.

[Jo] they talk over one another.

They interrupt, and it causes a lot of confrontation.

Where's debby? [Phil] oh, she might have went out back.

I did find mom outside,

Deeply upset with the argument that had just gone down.

What's going on?

I love phil more than anything in this world,

But he needs to step up to the plate.

So when you separated and you got back together again,

Was that something he said he was willing to do...yeah.

To step up? If it doesn't get better, then what?

I don't know.

If phil chooses not to fix that,

It will end our marriage.

[Jo] of course, duty calls,

And mom ran outside to pick up some food for lunch,

But morgan was still seething

And decided to confront dad

About how he treats all the women in the house.

You have to set me off. You call everyone the "b" word

If they look at you the wrong way.

What do you mean "'b' word"?

No, I'll say to her, "you're actin' like a bitch." No, you tell me.

You're like, "you little beep. You can get upstairs,

And you can walk your little butt upstairs." Because you--

I said, "you can walk your ass upstairs, you little bitch,"

'Cause you act like that.

But I've told you how I feel about it.

I don't like saying that to you. I told you, too.

You don't tell me anything. You do what I tell you to do,

And you shut your damn mouth about it.

That's the problem.

You can sit there and throw your tears all you want.

That's your problem. You're just like your mama.

You run all the time.

[Jo] I was disgusted

To see this man talking to his daughter like that.

[Door slams]

This man really swannies around his own home,

Demanding so much respect,

And he has no respect for any of his family.

So your--your language,

Does it extend to all of the kids?

Sometimes, I'll get mad at them and cuss at 'em.

You swear at the younger ones, as well.yeah.

Right. And I'm not proud of that. I'm ashamed of that as a father.

And after I do it, I feel like crap.

It's like, "man, what kind of father are you

To call your daughter a bitch?" That's not nice.

[Cries]

Hey.[Crying]

I just think it's so sad

To see this young girl subjected to this behavior.

It needs to stop, it really does.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Harsh words from dad lead to more tears.

[Crying] he starts calling me a whore

Because of the way I dress. I'm normal.

And jo decides to let dad have it...

Your language is despicable,

And you know what?

You are a bully.

When "supernanny" returns.

Wait.

What are you doing? [Crying] daddy.

Stop being a meanie. What i--madison-- where's my belt?

Have you ever used the belt as discipline?

I have used it, yes.

Right, on which children? All of 'em.

On all of them. What I usually do is, like, with the little baby here.

I can use this, 'cause that'll help.

I'll just kinda, like, pop it like that.

No, you don't. Yes, I do.

No, you do it harder. Don't even try that.

No, you do it harder. You can ask mom. No.

You put your legs around theirs. Right, right, like that.

Yeah. And then all you have is their rear end right here.

Please don't use your child to show me, but--

No, but I'm just sayin',

I'm trying to go 'em the way my m-my mom raised all of us.

I mean, I talked back, but I also got spankings for it,

And I understood that.

A moment later,

Two of the girls were roughhousing on dad's lap.

[Laughing] hey, hey, you just-- you don't bite.

[Cries] you don't bite.

[Crying]

Instead of dad explaining

The importance not to behave like that,

He smacks his young child in the mouth.

Are you kidding me? I can't believe I'm seeing this.

Later on, the whole family went out for a walk,

And dad decided that he would pick a bone with morgan

About a piece of jewelry she was wearing.

Did you see that chain that she's wearin'?

That belongs to that boy chris on his neck.

What's she doin' wearin' a chain?

What's this? This--this is a guy that's ,

It's that -year-old...

Yeah.and I don't think at years old,

She needs to have a boyfriend that's .

They're only out for one thing only at that age.

He ain't lookin' for a relationship to marry her,

And she's naive.

I mean, you look at her. She don't look .

She gets her makeup on. I mean, she's--

Shirts are a little too low for me, too, I think.

Don't you think? Do you want me to wear, like, a turtleneck every day?

Well, I don't think at , you need to show cleavage.

You don't have to look like what I think--

Are my sleeves too short?

What do you think she looks like?

When you dress like that, you look--

I-i was gonna say, "you don't have to dress like a slut."

You can dress like a decent woman.

Boys are gonna look at her-- are my pants too short?

Hey, when I was your age-- when I was -- are they too short?

What? My pants.

They're too tight. I think she can dress a little--

Do these flip-flops show too much of my feet?

Now don't be a smart aleck.

Well, that's what-- no, I'm saying you could--

You're sounding stupid when you say that... No, I'm not st--

"These are too tight." They're not too tight.

You know what? See, that's the problem with her.

You know, I should let you run with the dogs

And get fleas, sister. Act like a little ho.

I shouldn't even worry about your ass,

Let you do what you want to do.

I can't believe--i can't believe what I've just heard.

Whatever.

I did nothing to him, mom.

[Crying] he starts calling me a whore

Because of the way I dress. I'm normal.

[Crying]

I don't know why he's doing this.

[Jo] morgan was so humiliated, mortified

When the--the man in her life

Talks to her like this,

Yet mom tolerates this behavior.

Tomorrow, I really can't wait

Just to sit down with this family.

These parents need to understand their behavior

In order to change that.

I am scared to death to meet with jo tomorrow.

She called us on a few things already.

I can only imagine what it's gonna be

When we sit down at the table with her.

All right, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Yes, ma'am.

I'm very nervous about it,

And I believe she's gonna put me in my place.

Good night. You have a-- you have a good night.

Thank you for a good day. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Thank you. Bye-bye.

She's gonna be rough, and maybe that's what we need.

♪♪♪

Let's get straight to the point.

There are some serious issues that need to be addressed here,

And you're gonna see, if this isn't dealt with,

A repeat of history

Over and over again.

Yeah.

Let's talk about the first thing I noticed.

Phil, I don't know what century you're living in.

Your behavior is--

Is completely chauvinist.

This is isn't about you standing up on your soapbox

And saying, "a woman's place..."

What do you mean "a woman's place"?

Well...

And the money that she earns

Contributes alongside your money

To raise your family.

It's not fair. No.

Let's talk about morgan.

The man who raised her since she was years old

Calls her a slut and called her a ho yesterday.

No, what I was saying

Was I don't want her to dress like one.

That's what you called her.

I'm not saying I called her a slut.

I said, "if you want to dress like one" is what I said.

I was there, phil.

That what I said. That-- that's what I'm saying.

You can't--that's what I'm trying to--that--

Phil... All right.

Phil... I'm saying--

I don't even think you know what you say when you're angry.

You fly off the handle. You're like a bull to a red flag.

You think she should show her cleavage at ? She wasn't.

Let's talk about discipline.

You're not raising your children

To think smart and make better choices.

You get out the leather belt or you smack 'em,

And then you wonder why they smack each other.

With these kids being raised

In a dysfunctional environment

That's hostile,

They're living in constant earthquakes.

It's beyond sad

Because it's breaking spirits.

Phil, your language is despicable,

Overpowering,

Dominating,

Fueled by anger.

You are a bully.

And all you're doing

Is breaking down your relationships,

Your marriage

And causing more and more destruction.

Oh, you're ripping this house like a tornado

Like you have never seen,

And you allow this to happen.

You stand back,

And the reason you gave me--

"Because I want my family to be together."

Well, that's the price you're prepared to pay, is it?

Just to keep your family all under one roof,

You're prepared to destroy and break the spirits.

You're not prepared

To be that parameter,

To put that boundary in place,

To say, "hold on a minute, phil.

We need to talk about this. Hold on a minute here."

This is what I expect from a parent here

Before I even begin.

I expect % commitment. [Sniffles]

I expect an open mind.

Right. I expect you to accept the change.

I expect you both to listen to me... We are.

And hard work,

'Cause trust me, this ain't gonna be no walk in the park. Oh, I know.

Oh, I know. But I expect that.

If you cannot give that to me, then this doesn't go down.

It's as simple as that.

We're ready. That's what I expect from the pair of you.

Can you give that? Yes, ma'am.

We can give that and more, really.

All right, let's start work.

[Sighs]

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Why does dad throw darts at his children?

I find that quite disturbing to actually look at. Well, I do, too.

And later, jo tells dad the ugly truth...

You do need help.

When "supernanny" returns.

Dad's behavior was totally inappropriate

And very extreme,

And I do know

That I'm gonna have to really look at techniques

That are going to teach dad all about his dysfunction.

Oh, wow.

Cool, uh?

Yeah, well, look how beautiful they are.

They're sweet, a sweet picture.

So the reason why I've brought you back here

Is to talk to you

About your abusive verbal behavior.

Every time

You verbally abuse your young girls,

It is like you're throwing a poisonous dart at 'em.

Right.

So that's why we are gonna pick up the darts,

And, um, you're gonna throw one in their face.

Do I have to, or-- do you want to?

No, I don't want to. Why?

Because those are my girls. I love my girls.

I don't want to hurt my girls.

Okay. I'm gonna overrule you, because...okay.

I'm gonna ask you to throw a dart right into their faces.

Okay, if you...

[Sighs]

♪♪♪

It was really hard.

I didn't want to do it, 'cause I didn't want to mess up

My little girls' pictures or their souls,

But I know what jo was getting to.

She was trying to show me

That every time I was cuttin' 'em with those words,

It was like throwin' a dart at 'em,

And that wasn't a good feeling.

Again.

[Jo] he--he didn't like doing it at all.

He felt sick to do so,

And it was disturbing to watch,

To see these little faces being ripped from the darts.

I-i didn't like to see it myself.

I find that quite disturbing to actually look at.

Well, I do, too. Yeah, why?

Because it shows all the--the pain

That I've inflicted on 'em.

Mm-hmm.

I don't like looking at it.

Every time you get angry,

I want you to picture the image...

Of the dart. Of the faces that we see now.

Right.

No father or parent wants to hurt their children,

And I was hurting my children verbally,

And for jo to show me that was really great,

'Cause it was an eye-opener.

[Sniffles]

♪♪♪

[Jo] the girls are not the only ones

Who have been let down by dad.

Even mom has been let down

With his broken promises to change

Time and time again.

So I thought it would be really important

To take these two to a gym

So dad could see exactly why his wife doesn't trust him.

Stand behind.

And when you're ready,

Debby, you're gonna free-fall backwards.

Okay.

When you're ready, debby.

I got you.

Oh.

What'd you do there, deb?

I put my foot back.

Yeah, why? Why is it hard to free-fall back on phil?

'Cause he hasn't always been there for me.

Hmm. I'll leave it up to you, phil,

To tell her when you're ready.

When you're ready, I'm right here.

Oh, I did it again. Okay. Interesting, though, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Every time I went to fall, I thought,

This time, I'm gonna do it. This time, I'm gonna do it,

And I'd get my feet just the way I think it should be,

And I'd go back,

And damn it if I didn't put my foot back to stop the fall.

I love you. I'm gonna catch you.

I'm--i'm right here.

Told you. [Sighs]

See, I told you, and you didn't break your fall. [Sighs]

This time, is this gonna be the time

That he means everything he says,

Or is this time once again gonna mean a breakup of our family?

All right, let's put it around phil's face.

[Jo] dad understands what mom is going through,

But he's got no empathy.

So the next exercise would really show him

What it feels like when trust is broken.

And so I asked the instructor

To tell phil that debbra was behind him.

[Grunts]

It made me feel sick.

I didn't know if I was gonna hit the floor or what,

So it was a very scary feeling

Not to have somebody there behind you.

Phil, what's that feel like?

Scary,

And it wasn't fun.

I didn't realize

I was causing that much damage to you.

Whew.

[Sighs]

I'm sorry.

Mm. I won't.

[Jo] dad has begun to understand why he needs to change,

So for discipline,

I'm going to give him a humane technique

Instead of that dastardly belt.

We are gonna do time-out my way.

I'm gonna explain to you the importance of each step

So that you understand why

You may still be doing it for , minutes.

All right.

As soon as I taught dad the steps,

He needed to discipline maddy.

You guys need to get downstairs.

Come on, let's go.

Here, let's move it.

No move it.

No move it.

You know what? You're going to time-- no move it.

You're--let's go to time-out. No move it.

Let's go, guys. No move it.

She did need a time-out, and I was curious to see

If he would just stay calm under the pressure.

You're gonna sit here, 'cause I asked you to move it. No move it.

Sit. No move it.

Calm down and explain why.

Always in time-out,

Your first step is to explain why you put the child there.

You know why--i'm sitting you in the--in the chair

Because I asked you to get off the computer,

And it was time to move, don't put your feet in my face.

Hey, knock it off.

Sit right there,

And you're gonna sit there until your three minutes are up.

Before, I would stand over 'em and yell,

Figuring that that was the way to do it,

And I used to thr*aten it all the time.

They would get up. I'd get frustrated.

They would break me down

To the point where I was just like, "forget about it."

Oh, lordy.

Maddy got up a few times.

He had to place her back again.

Okay, let's get back to--oh. Get back.

If they get back up, you just don't say a word to 'em.

Sit 'em back down, and then you just do what you have to do.

So you put her back,

And the four minutes start all over again.

Well, now she's hidin' behind the chair.

She figures I can't see her.

Well, it's neither here or there,

But communication is... [Zipping sound] none. Don't even say it?

Now you just place her straight back into the chair. All right.

The importance of giving discipline

Without being angry

Leaves a parent in a place where they don't lose control.

[Debby] so each time she does that,

The four minutes start all over again? Start all over again.

That was effective. Nobody yelled. Nobody screamed.

I put you in the chair,

Because when I asked you to get off the computer,

You told me to get lost.

So that's naughty,

So tell me you're sorry.sorry.

Give me a kiss. Come here. You did good. Let's go.

If you would have told me a week ago

That time-outs were effective, I would have told you

You were crazy, 'cause I would have used the belt.

Well done, phil.

[Phil] trust me, it works.

I'll remember that the rest of my life.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Jo pulls an early morning ambush.

Good morning. It's your : in the morning school drill.

Okay.

And morgan gives dad a piece of her mind...

You're like a big jerk to everybody.

When "supernanny" returns.

There's no doubt that dad needs to change his behavior,

But I've got lots of other issues to deal with, as well,

And what I want to concentrate on

Is giving this family a technique

To help them with their mornings...

[Whispering] because they're crazy.

[Crying] I have to get to my job. Let's go.

I--you've gotta get you to school, morg.

Mom's coming. Get in. Come on.

[Jo] a chaotic morning can certainly lead

To a troublesome day if you allow it.

You'll see there are three shelves--

Tiffany, torrie and madison.

And what I would like you guys to do

Is to take these shelves up into their rooms...

Okay.

And pack their outfit for the morning.

The actual key thing to do

Is to start doing things the night before.

Let's follow through with it.okay.

Okay? Let's get 'em choosing something for tomorrow. Here.

T-shirt.[Phil] let's get your clothes. Come on.

The girls were so excited to pick out their clothes

And to put it in their shelves and...

Go put your socks on the drawer.

[Phil] oh, you want your pajamas there, too?

Very good.these are my new ones!

And once the shelves were ready,

It was time to establish a morning routine.

At :, mom up and getting ready.

:--Morgan up.

[Debby] morgan being late

Is probably one of the biggest issues we have in the house.

It has to be stopped.

I have to find a better way to make things happen.

So for this to work, what does it take?

Everybody doin' what they need to do, yep. [Phil] teamwork.

We put good things in place,

But I wasn't entirely convinced

That this family were gonna do the morning routine,

So the next morning, I had a surprise for them.

♪♪♪

So what the davis family don't know

Is that they're about to get a morning drill from me.

As you can see, it's half past : in the morning.

That's when they should be up and ready.

So let's go.

[Doorbell rings]

[Sighs] mornin'.

Good morning. It's your : in the morning school drill.

Okay.

We're comin'. Oh.

: School morning drill. Let's rock 'n' roll.

[Crying]

Victoria.

I hated being ambushed by jo.

[Crying]

It was like a total surprise when jo showed up,

And then I was out and gone for work.

[Crying]

When you have a situation

Like we're having this morning with torrie,

Make sure that you can just bring in something for her

To play in the space. [Crying]

And just come down to her level and say,

"Torrie, mommy has to get ready now."

Go and take the baby in to mommy.

Hi.

When I woke up to jo, I was surprised

Because I wasn't expecting her there,

And I was worried about my mom

Because I didn't know

If she would have the girls dressed on time.

Good morning. Good morning.

"Skiperoo," good mornin'.

I followed the schedule.

If I would have sat down and put that on a piece of paper,

It would have just been somewhere on a piece of paper.

Nice to see you got yourself up this morning.

Pleased to see you're on time. Very good to see you on time.

I love that I don't have

To get the girls dressed in the morning,

And they're not my responsibility.

Is everybody ready?

Yeah. Okay, great.

So you are minutes early.

I was minutes early.

I'm never early to anything.

Well done, debby. Thank you. Thank you.

♪♪♪

It's important for morgan to get to school on time,

But it's equally important

That morgan has a good relationship with her father,

And her dad needs to connect with her

Before more damage is done.

Well, we are going to allow morgan

To get off her chest

Exactly what she needs to.

So the rules are you're only to use your ears.

No talking.

All right.[Laughs]

When jo told me that I was to talk to my dad,

But he wasn't allowed to talk back,

It was kinda weird.

Well, I don't like how you--

Whenever mom and the girls and phillip come around,

You're always different around them.

If it's just me and you, you're cool,

But then when they're around,

You're like a big jerk to everybody.

You make me angry.

Whenever I say something,

You're like, "well, I'm an adult."

And you can't use the excuse

That you're an adult and I'm a child,

'Cause I have to live here

Just like you do.

That's what I've been trying to tell you,

Just those little things, for, like, the past forever,

And you never listen to me or anything.

I could tell that he was,

Like, thinking about what I was saying

And that he actually listened.

[Giggles] what?

You're crying.

I'm all right. I'm all right.

You made a lot of good points,

But I think you left out the name-calling,

And that's gonna stop.

Believe me.

Even to the little girls, they'll stop?

Oh, everybody.and mom?

And mom. Everybody. The girls, everybody,

'Cause you don't deserve to be talked to like that.

So I'm gonna open my ears

And listen to what you have to say,

And I did--i do owe you an apology for the--

For embarrassing you about your clothes.

For dad to actually admit his shortcomings

And apologize to morgan is a huge step forward

In healing his relationship with his daughter.

So this is what's happening.

I'm leaving for several days,

And when I come back,

Time will tell exactly what you guys have been sticking

And making the effort to doing.

I think we're gonna make it.

I think we're gonna be able to do it, I really do.

Mornings...right.

You have everything in place. Yep.

Before I left, I wanted to remind dad

Of the promises that he's made during that family meeting.

Very well. You said to me, "I was arrogant..."

Right. "Ignorant..."

Right. "I knew no better.

"I know now I have effective techniques,

"And I want to be the father

That receives and can give." Right.

[Phil] I'm willing to do the change.

I want to do the change.

Truthfully, I'm very nervous about it.

I'm going now, and in several days,

I'm coming back to see exactly what you guys did, okay?

Okay. [Debby] okay.

Thank you very much. Thanks, jo.

All right. You're welcome. Thank you.

I'll see you when I get back. All right, bye-bye.

Bye. Bye.

[Jo] so I'm gone for several days,

But the reality is for this family

To stay on the track that they've been placed on

So they have a future together,

It means that dad is gonna have to remain

The way he is right now,

And that's open

And willing to let go of that abusive behavior.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

One of the most shocking moments

In "supernanny" history

Makes jo realize the ugly truth...

You're a man who has abusive behavior.

When "supernanny" returns.

[Jo] I've been away for three days,

And I am seriously concerned

About the welfare of this family,

Because dad's temper escalates,

And his inability to change

Is worrisome.

[Debby] I'm petrified of the dvd meeting.

I am very scared to watch us.

I think she's gonna say I've done pretty good.

I think I've made a big difference.

So any thoughts before we watch the footage?

She's nervous. I'm very nervous.

What about yourself, phil?

I think I did all right. I hope I did.

Okay. Let's take a look anyway.

All right. Okay.

Do you want me to open it for you?i will.

Daddy, I want purple.

Y'all can play beauty shop. I'll be the customer.

Look how serious madison is.

Madison, good lord, madison, you did a good job, bud.

Daddy look silly? Yes, dad.

[Chuckles]

[Laughs] good job.

He would have never done that before.

It was nice that you just chilled with the girls

And--and let them play salon with you

And just really get involved. You know, it was fun.

Who knows? Maybe you'll have your toenails painted

Next week. Or the fingers.

I was trying to get her to do my nails, but she wouldn't.

She said I was a boy.

It is nice to see,

Because now we are seeing you

Have fun with the girls and enjoy,

And that's a really lovely improvement.

So let's move on to the next clip.

Hey, baby, what you doin'?

[Laughs] all right, here's morgan.

That's chris.

Oh.

[Laughs] did you hear him?

Well, he's just a friend. He's not your boyfriend. Yes, he is.

You hear that, deb? [Debby] what?

That they're boyfriend/girlfriend now.

Did you know that? Yes, she did.

Yeah, I did.

I kinda figured that one when he comes over every day now.

I do like the fact

That you were just kicking around with her and joking.

Yeah, I was.

And actually, just being playful with her

Allowed her to realize

That it was okay to actually tell you eventually... Right.

That she has been dating chris. Yeah.

So right now,

I think it's important to have a mature conversation

About responsibility with morgan

And really put in some firm boundaries in place. Mm-hmm.

If it's a school night, how many times a week does he come over? Right.

For how long does he stay for? Right.

Okay. Where is he when he comes over?

That's right, okay. Okay.

All right, let's take a look at yourself, dad, here. Okay.

Let's go. No!

Get up. Let's go. Daddy...

Ow! Ow!

You're gonna get more than time-out, son.

Hey, quit kickin'. [Screams]

Quit it.

Ow. [Bleep] [bleep]

Don't pour that on my carpet.

[Crying] I slapped her on her face.

I shouldn't have done that. No.

[Screaming]

[Crying] daddy!

Mommy.

[Crying]

Oh, no.

[Crying]

♪♪♪

[Sniffles]

That was horrible.

Wow.

I did everything wrong. I was yellin', losin' everything.

[Sniffles] you smacked her.

I ain't got no excuse for that.

Phil, you're a man

Who has abusive behavior,

And you do need help.

Right.

Your children are not safe,

And standing here, it's--it's my obligation

To keep your kids safe.

You're--you're gonna need counseling.

Right, right. As a man, as a father...

Okay. Yes, I want to get help.

I love my kids.

The--the family's in a-- in a threatening situation.

Your behavior's gonna break these children's spirits.

Right.

And you need help to understand

Why you're wired that way,

Why your behavior is such.

That's not today, tomorrow, next week.

That's a lo-- a long process

Of you finding out more

About yourself, your family,

Going through a whole process.

But you know what I said?

You gotta do what you gotta do for your family.

It needs to be addressed. Right.

Yeah, it's gonna be addressed.

I think we'd better get busy, don't you?

Oh, yeah. Okay. Thank you.

Thank you, jo. Thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Dad learns how his behavior will affect his daughters.

A young girl sees through her father's eyes herself,

And on some level,

I believed that that was how I deserved to be treated.

And he is given one last chance to change

Before it's too late...

I'd like you to make a promise

That from this day forth,

You will stop calling names

And that you will never raise your hand in a hurtful way.

When "supernanny" returns.

The behavior that I saw on the dvd

Is as bad as it gets,

And I know that I will need

To get dad the help

That he will need.

Phil, joyce pastore.

It's nice to have got your call.

Meeting up with joyce was incredibly good for phil.

[Phil] joyce was really nice.

She was just real soft-spoken,

Somebody that, you know, you feel like you could talk to.

We have a program

Designed to target these kinds of problems.

I want you to be able to look yourself in the mirror

And to be able to say,

"I want my daughters to be able to marry a man like me."

I thought it would be very good for phil

To actually see and speak to a man

Who had completed the course,

And so I had william meet up with us.

Will is a man I've worked with on these issues

Who is brave enough to do this and take a look at himself.

I-i would say things that it's like

I wouldn't think twice about saying 'em,

And now i-i really, really watch what I say

And just really try to treat people

The way I want to be treated.

Sometimes it's like we just like accumulate and create a-a habit

That we--sometimes, we just can't get rid of that habit

And we just kinda like stay in that rut.

It's kinda like drivin' a car on a dirt road after a while.right.

It's like you just take your hands off the steering wheel.

Well, sometimes, it's just like you gotta get yourself

Out of that rut. This does get to be dangerous.

I have worked with men who have never thought they would do this

But have k*lled their partners or k*lled even their children.

And they have come to me,

And they have said,

"I really didn't mean for this to happen."

But they did mean and choose to cross that first line.right.

[Phil] meeting william did give me the hope

That change is possible.

All I gotta do is put my mind to it and do it.

I'd like you to make a promise that from this day forth,

You will stop calling names

And that you will never raise your hand in a hurtful way.

Oh, yeah, you have it. Okay.

You have my commitment. You have my word. Okay.

Making these commitments was a very big step for dad,

But I need to make sure

That he remembers why it's important

To stick with these commitments.

There is a lady here that I'd like you to meet.

[Jo] the last but not least of this journey for phil

Was to introduce him to a young woman

Who had endured abuse from her own father.

A young girl sees through her father's eyes herself,

And for myself, I saw the way that my father treated me

And treated my mother,

And on some level,

I believed that that was how I deserved to be treated,

And even as I grew older and went to college

And did very well in a career,

When I chose relationships, I chose very poorly,

Um, and I ended up being in a relationship

With a man who was emotionally and verbally abusive.

Your daughters are-- are looking to you...

Right. To see what kind of man

They're gonna choose for themselves someday,

And you don't want them

To be with somebody that's gonna belittle them

Or make them feel badly about themselves.

[Phil] I was thinking of, like, wow, I don't want this

To be one of my daughters sittin' across from me

Asking me why, you know?

So it was an eye-opener.

Your job now is to apologize to them,

Not just through your words,

But through your actions that you can change.

That's why I'm doing what I'm doing

So I can get answers for me...mm-hmm.

And so I can help my children and my family.

You have some challenges and some obstacles,

And you feel like you're gonna turn back. Right.

I-i hope that you remember this moment...

Oh. Because, um, we're the people

That are quietly in the background...

Right. You know, cheering you on.

I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thanks.

It made me feel good to know that, okay, I can remember her

If I have that situation come up

That that'll help me say "stop."

♪♪♪

Hey. Daddy!

Hey. What's going on? Hello!

Even though I know there's a long road ahead of me,

I'm looking forward to that journey,

Because in the long run,

It's gonna benefit me, my wife and my children.

Okay, guys... [Torrie] yay, yay!

Time for me to leave, and jo jo wants some hugs.

[Jo] if I could say anything to phil,

It would be that he can't change the past.

Hey, this is the beginning for you. You did a lot.

[Jo] but he can change the future

Of five beautiful children.

I-i have asked joyce

For reports with regards to phil,

And I will be keeping in touch with the family.

There's no two ways about that.

Mm.

[Debby] we have the opportunity

To heal the hurt that we've caused each other

And to give our children

A safe place.

Mwah.

[Morgan] this experience has changed my parents a lot.

They're nicer. They're not yelling all the time.

It makes me want to come home.

Yeah.bye-bye.

Say, "bye, jo jo." Bye, jo jo.

[Jo] if the power of this one family

Helps just one other family,

We are on the right pathway

Of breaking that cycle.

Bye. [Phil] bye.

Bye, jo jo.