05x15 - The Sachs Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

For the first time ever, jo takes manhattan

To visit the sachs family.

[Car horn honks, whistle blows]

Sons ryan and jonathon are tough new york city kids

With big apple attitude.[Cries]

You just-- I want a lollipop!

You just finished one. [Crying]

They want it all, and they want it right now.

We'll have hot dogs tomorrow. No!

Don't argue with him. Get him a hot dog.

We're gonna go get, like, little toys now.

Mom and dad's cozy manhattan apartment

Is literally drowning in toys...

[Jo] blimey. No.

And bedtime-- forget about it.

Can jo teach mom and dad

To finally keep the boys in their beds...

He needs to know this is nighttime,

And nighttime is bedtime. And help them reclaim their apartment

From a tide of toys?

Or will the boys give mom and dad a times square tantrum?

[Crying]

♪♪♪

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I'm in new york, navigating the streets of manhattan

To get to a family that need my help, so let's take a look.

Hi, I'm fanci sachs. And I'm greg sachs,

And we have two boys, and we live in new york city.

Ryan is , and jonathon is .

I work in, uh, commercial and digital printing

To hours a week.

I work for a commercial real estate company

Probably between and hours.

We have a babysitter. She works monday through friday.

I don't like it.oh--

Ryan has a very, very big personality.

Yeah, I don't want it. No.

When he is into something

And we either have to take it away or tell him no,

He gets very upset.

Go! I fell...

We'll have a meltdown in a minute.

No! Aah!

[Greg] he'll physically try to kick me.

We try to work through it.

You know, there's a negotiation process.

No, no! You want nice hot dogs?

A hot dog, a hot dog, a hot dog?

But you're gonna be able--

You're gonna be able to see the real show.

You're gonna be able to watch the show later. But I'm--

Oh, this is ridiculous.

This little boy has a meltdown

Because he can't get his own way,

And the parents do everything

But tell him off!

Jonathon will feed off of, uh, ryan's patterns.

Jonathon will have a tendency to hit.

Being out with the boys is always exciting.

We want to go to one place,

They'll want to go to somewhere else.

You don't like pizza?

Why, everyone likes pizza.

And then we'll struggle with that for minutes.

We'll have hot dogs tomorrow.

No! I don't want a snack!

We'll go on up the s-- up the street.

[Greg] what do you want, ryan?

Don't argue with him. Get him a hot dog. All right.

I have to admit that I do indulge the boys.

We're gonna go get, like, little toys now.

I buy toys for my boys maybe three times a week.

I do have a lot of guilt

Working, leaving my children.

The toys are bought out of guilt.

If they don't get the toys that they want,

There's always the jeopardy of a meltdown.

Why do they have to get a toy every time they ask?

These parents are afraid to say no.

Living in an apartment in manhattan,

We're constrained with the space.

The kids have so many toys, and it's just overwhelming.

Help me pick up the mess that your brother made.

The apartment is totally overwhelmed with toys.

There's no space in this apartment.

It looks more like a toy store.

Bedtime is our biggest struggle.

I stay in the room with them until they fall asleep.

Jonathon has a smaller toddler bed,

So I'll lay on the floor.

I'll hold hands with him just to make sure he goes to sleep.

Are you kidding me?

Both boys at different times of the night

Will wake up and come into our bed.

They sprawl out all over the bed.

I'm usually backed into a corner,

Or there's a foot in my face.

I honestly haven't slept in four years, and I'm exhausted.

[Both] supernanny, we need your help.

Finally, these parents have said something with authority.

Hey, cabbie, you couldn't step on it, could you?

A family needs my help right now.

♪♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

Hello. Hey, welcome, jo.

How are you? Pleased to meet you.

I'm fanci. Nice to meet you. Welcome to our home. Thank you.

Come on in. [Fanci] I didn't know what to expect.

We were anxious. I was actually a little nervous.

This is my husband greg. This is jo.

Hi, greg. Please to meet you.

Nice to meet you. How are you? How are you?

I'm well, thank you.

Nice to meet you, too. I felt kind of excited,

Just wondering how everything was gonna unfold.

Hi, boys. This is ryan and jonathon.

Hi, jonathon. Hi. Shake jo jo's hand.

Hi, ryan.

[Ryan] where are you going?

I'm just going out for a couple minutes. Why?

Almost immediately, mom's new york schedule

Meant that she needed to run some errands.

Ryan started to kick off.

All right, so I'll be home, okay, in a couple minutes.

You won't even know that I'm away. [Greg] ryan, ryan.

Why are you gonna go outside?

Listen to me, listen to me. Come here.

Come here. Ryan, come here, come here. [Crying]

Ryan, come here for a second.

Instead of mom just leaving,

She fed into

This whole temper tantrum that he was having.

Ryan, come on. Mommy, don't!

It's okay. But I'm gonna come back. I'm gonna--i gotta check the mail.

I have to go up the street for a couple of minutes,

And then I'm gonna come back.

I want to go with you.

He wanted to know where I was going, when I was going,

When I was gonna come home, can he come with me?

And that usually-- that happens every day.[Crying]

All right, do you want to give me the special kiss/hug? Okay.

You know, I feel bad because, you know, I want to be with him,

But I have-- I do have places to go.

I have to be at work,

So it's--it's-- it's hard.

You know what? When I come back, we'll all go out.

We'll all go outside. You can come with me.i don't.

[Jo] fanci finally got herself out of the door.

During mom's absence,

I started to look around the house,

And I realized how suffocating it was.

It's very difficult

To find large space in manhattan,

And this family have confined space,

And they have chosen to cram that space

With clutter.

With all these objects everywhere around the house,

It's quite suppressing to be around,

Let alone to effectively parent.

Blimey.

There's so many toys here.

There are toys that they've outgrown.

They're too old for a lot of these toys,

And it's just cramping up more space.

Mom returned to give the boys some lunch,

And that's when I noticed all of these strollers.

Just the four buggies?

Oh, no, we have, like, seven of them. Seven buggies?

Yep. Two are in the car. Mom, look.

So you--you got the two of these... Hey, mom, look!

Portable ones. Hey, mom, look!

Two of those, that. And then you've got your--

Hey, mom, look. This--the red one used to get used

Before we had two of those, actually.

Does that mean it doesn't get used?

This is like--less and less, but this is like my favorite-- [coughing]

This is my favorite stroller. It's easy to wheel around and...

It's sort of sentimental at this point.

Yeah, yeah, this one-- I love this stroller.

Okay.i'd only been in the house a couple of hours observing,

And I certainly saw a few issues

That I knew would need to be addressed.

I wanted to take mom aside and talk to her

About ryan's behavior. You know, ryan has definitely attached to me,

And you know, he--he does have s--

He has separation issues, for sure.

Is that hard for you as well, though? The separation?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I mean, when I leave these kids every day, you know,

It--it's hard for me, of course.

The other thing with ryan is, like--

And maybe I also helped feed into this case--

Is that he's always-- wants this and that, that.

He wants to go to toy stores every day.

When you buy and you buy and you buy,

What hole is it trying to fill?

Maybe 'cause I'm not here--

Maybe 'cause I'm not here, so I feel guilt.

Hey, it's not easy for this family.

They work long hours.

They've got a child carer to look after their kids,

And they feel guilty for it.

So they buy their way out of it

And tolerate behavior that,

Let's face it, they shouldn't be tolerating.

Mommy, don't! [Cries]

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Don't... Ryan rages over waffles...

[Cries]

And jo is shocked by a brouhaha over bedtime.

Four and a half years, you guys haven't slept

In your own bed on your own. I mean, that's ludicrous.

When "supernanny" returns.

At one point, ryan got hungry for a snack,

And he wanted waffles.

You know what? You had this for breakfast.

So let's have-- you could have apples,

Or cheerios or cheese or yogurt. I want--no!

Do you want a sandwich? I could make you turkey. No!

I'll make you turkey and cheese. No!

Want to choose a yogurt? You can have--you can have a yogurt.no!

No? Okay. His mind was set.

He wanted the waffles,

And he wasn't prepared to take no for an answer.

Ryan wants what he wants when he wants it.

Here, let me shut--let me open the refrigerator for you.

He just clung onto them for life

And then started to have a temper tantrum,

Hoping that she would give into him. No!

I know, I know.

I know you like these. I know. I know you're upset.

I know you like these waffles.

[Crying]but you have so many things--

You have so many things to choose from.

Let's just put this back. You want an ice pop?

You can have an ice pop. You see something that you want? [Cries] no.

No! No, okay. Do you want more mac and cheese?

No! Daddy!

And then ryan grabs the waffles

Right back out from the freezer.

[Fanci] I'll try coaxing him,

Talking to him on my lap, reasoning with him,

And then ultimately, I'll have to, like,

Wind up promising something.

You can eat them every single morning for breakfast,

'Cause I know they taste really good.

You can eat them every single morning.

Mom should have just taken the waffles

When she realized that he wasn't prepared to cooperate.

Instead, she fed into this whole manipulation.

Do you want the turkey and cheese?

Cheese cr*cker. Cheese on a cr*cker?

No, cheese crackers.okay.

Eventually, mom left the room with the waffles,

But what a pullover getting them in the first place!

No! Come on. Come on, don't give me a hard time.

It was almost :, which is time for the boys to go to bed.

However, these kids are fearful

Of being separated from their parents.

Come on. Stop.

Once dad dragged ryan into the bedroom,

Then he started to calm down.

We try to read to them in bed,

And then ryan will vie for fanci's attention

And tell--say, "mommy, sleep with me."

And I'll try to hold jonathon's hand

So he stays calm.

Dad did get up when he thought that jonathon had fallen asleep,

But that was wishful thinking.

[Fanci] here's what we're gonna do--

Mommy! What are you doing?

[Greg] hey, hey, hey, easy, easy, easy. Come with me.

Almost minutes later, nobody was going to sleep.

In fact, these boys thought it was time for midnight feasting,

With mom and dad's approval.

[Jo] so what is this?

This is the--the snack before the bed, or the...

Uh, this is like a little snack.

Usually--i don't know what this is.

[Jo] finally, the boys were in their bed,

With mom and dad right next to 'em.

Jonathon fell asleep,

Which meant that dad could get up,

But mom was still there.

This would be the time for me to leave now.

Well, thank you for a nice evening...

Thank you for a wonderful day.

Okay, and a good day. Yes.

See you tomorrow. Oh, okay.

Good night. Thank you. Good night.

I knew when I left that mom and dad

Would have a restless night because there's no doubt

That these boys are gonna be up and in their bed. Bye-bye.

We enjoyed it, bye-bye.

And sure enough that night,

The whole family were tossing and turning

In mom and dad's bed.

I think that mom and dad

Are gonna have a rough morning, as well,

Because I've got a thing or two to say to them.

♪♪♪

The first thing that I want to discuss

With you both is your home.

I mean, there is so much stuff

In your apartment,

And you're continuing to add.

We work during the week, so when we get home,

I don't really feel like pulling stuff out of the shelf.

So we really need, like, a weekend or a vacation. There's so much here....

We do need to do that. That--that you can't-- you can't do anything.

It's where it's like it's kinda like, well, what's the point?

You can't get at anything.

You're living on top of stuff that you just need to clear out,

And you don't need a vacation to do those things.

A vacation is for you to relax. You're right.

Let's talk about the kids' behavior.

When ryan doesn't get his own way,

He just freaks out.

He goes up onto his tippytoes,

And he s-stiffs himself like this... Really tense, mm-hmm.

Really, really staunch, okay,

And then he starts to cry. Mm-hmm.

He has learnt he gets what he wants when he behaves that way.

Can it be fixed?

[Snaps fingers] in a heartbeat,

But it needs two parents that are consistent,

And it takes basically some tough love

And saying, "no is no today, okay?"

I mean, there's no reason why you guys can't be polite,

But no is no.

I mean, look at the toys.

"I want a toy," and he gets a toy all the time.

I mean, how many toys have these kids been brought home?

A lot. It's--it's--it-- wa-way more than enough.

Yeah, it's gotten--it's gotten-- it's gotten over the top.

I mean, we-- we have overindulged them. Have you--

He looks in our bags to see, like, uh, like a santa claus

Coming home every day, like, "what do you have for me?"

You wait. He'll be . He'll be asking for a bike every time.

You know, I mean, it's just ridiculous.

You're filling your time that you don't spend with your kids

With buying them things.

Your kids don't want or need these toys.

Yep. Mm-hmm. They don't.

What they want is quality time with two parents

Who are gonna be fair and funny and silly with them,

But who are gonna give them guidance and directions,

And raise them with healthy family values.

The last thing I want to talk about

Is bedtime.

You're laying on the floor

To get your child off to sleep,

Touching their fingers, and then you're in bed with ryan.

I mean, you've gotta laugh, because it's so--

You don't--if you don't, you'll cry!

'Cause the pair of you are absolutely knackered.

I fall asleep before jonathon does on the floor.

She'll leave me there for three hours.

At : in the morning, I'll wake up

And my body will be stiff as a board.

Why did you leave me here for three hours?

Oh, you looked comfortable, greg. Right.

But it's--but it's crazy-- in four and a half years,

You guys haven't slept in your own bed on your own.

I mean, that's ludicrous. Sure.

So we need our lives back.

We need to get it all together as a family

And make sure we're all on the same page

And be consistent, get the structure. And we're gonna do a lot

And put it in place to change the circumstances,

So let's-- we're ready.

No more talking. Let's not talk. Action.

Okay, let's walk the walk instead of talking the talk.

Talk the--okay, I agree. Thank you very much for the information.

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Coming up on "supernanny"...

When ryan is denied a new toy,

Jo sees who's calling the sh*ts.

[Screaming] and later, meltdowns continue

In the city that never sleeps,

When "supernanny" returns.

The first thing I want to sort out in this house

Is all the clutter so they can have some more breathing space.

We have four strollers

In this house.

Two have to go. [Record needle scratches]

Oh, no.

This one, this one. That's, like, brand-new.

I just--i just spent $ on that. Let's put that here.

Want to get rid of the red one?

No, that's my prized possession.

But why--but we don't need it, though. All right, chop-chop.

You have one minute to make a decision.

Fanci, what's it gonna be, this one or that one?

Ten, nine, eight...

I was still torn 'cause I love that stroller.

Uh, you know, although it really--it will break my heart,

I mean, I'm willing to donate this stroller.

I love that stroller that I gave away.

I still--i still love having feelings about it.

I personally think when fanci let go

Of that stroller, she thought, what the hell?

I might as well just stop being militant with everything else.

Is that a keeper? [Fanci] don't be sentimental. Get rid of it.

[Jo] mom and dad had cleared up everything

Apart from the kids' toys, and I've got a plan for that,

But what I thought this family deserved

Was a little bit of fresh air.

So I think we should take

A nice brisk stroll.

Okay, we're all for it. Yeah, why don't we go up to times square

And, uh, take a walk? Okay.

Let's go. Come on, boys.

Right off the bat, I want to put mom and dad to the test.

Every time they go out, they buy the kids a toy,

And I'm not allowing that this time.

What I want to see is how mom and dad react

If they start kicking off.

[Fanci] I was like, I don't know what is gonna happen.

Ryan is gonna have a total meltdown

Because we're gonna pass his favorite toy store.

He is gonna be kicking and screaming

To go into that place.

[Greg] as we started to walk towards the toy store,

I could see the meltdown coming.

[Jo] sure enough, as we passed a toy store,

The boys wanted in.

You want a pretzel?

Oh, yeah. You want a pretzel, jonathon?

We're not going today.

And predictably, ryan had a meltdown.

[Crying]

You all right?

Ryan,

We're not going today.

But I want-- we go here-- we go here all the time,

And you have many, many toys. No, I don't want--

Let's look at some other stores.

It's heartbreaking to me to see my son crying like this,

And then it's also embarrassing,

Let's get a pretzel. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We're not pacifying with food.

Hold on. No, no, okay.

Let's not pacify with food.

Okay, we're leaving.

No, I want that one. Let's go. Fanci, let's just go. Come on.

[Crying]

Mom and dad did a good job holding their ground. [Crying]

In the end, they managed to just drag him

Past the shop, but he kept hopping on.

I need you to be strong enough to say,

"No, we're not going today,

'Cause mommy chooses for us not to go in there," okay?

Ryan, listen to what mommy's telling you now.

Ryan...turn around and listen to mommy.

Ryan, I don't want to go into the store. We're not going.

[Crying]

Now let's move on a bit. Stand up.

Let me--let me take him for a second.

[Jo] he just didn't stop. I'm tired.

Come on.

And these parents didn't know how to handle him.

So I thought what I'd do is just show these parents how to do it.

That's enough. Right now, that is enough, okay?

No crying,

No temper tantrum, okay?

No pulling those faces.

And he looked at me and thought, this lady's having none of it.

Well, I think as soon as these parents have realized

They're not prepared to tolerate his nonsense,

He gets that very quickly.

Right, let's see some good boy behavior.

Any nonsense, and I'm putting you on time-out.

[Greg] when ryan responded to jo,

He stopped crying,

And the--the meltdown went away instantly.

It was like magic.

[Jo] back at the apartment,

We still had that massive heap of toys to deal with.

I was about to go through the same process

With these two young boys as I just had with their parents,

But this time, I was gonna add a little twist to it.

Jo jo's brought these in for you, okay?

You're gonna be toy rangers today.

These toy ranger hats

Are going to be a little incentive for the children,

And then I'll show mom and dad

How they can use these on a daily basis.

You're going to organize the toys

And work out which ones you're gonna keep

And which ones we're going to give

To other little boys and girls.

And the boys, once they were given very clear directions,

Went on and just did it. No, no, my love...

[Greg] we're gonna give it away. You're so good.

Put this stuff in the big box.

You sure? Okay.

Hut, . Hike. Hut!

Hike!

It's a really good idea

For children to sort through their toys every now and then

And get rid of the stuff that they've outgrown.

Not only does it reduce clutter,

But it also teaches them how to be charitable.

Look how this is shaping up, look. [Greg] unbelievable.

Look how this is shaping up. Hey!

Argh!argh!

When all the toys were cleaned up,

Jo came in with an area rug for our living room.

We haven't had one since the kids were born.

Wow.

[Jo] oh, that's nice. Lovely.

Now that they have a nice family area,

Mom and dad can use the toy ranger hats

To continue picking up.

When they're playing today, and you ask them to put away... [Ryan] hooray!

Get them to put their toy ranger hats on. Okay.

Right, it's toy ranger time. Time--toy ranger time.

That's your little ritual in your house.

It's toy ranger time. Mm-hmm, time. And just let them--

Which means, put the caps on, get tidied away. Okay.

The home has certainly become more of a sanctuary

For this family,

But what will be important is that when mom chooses to leave,

It doesn't provoke a temper tantrum by ryan.

You are going to go up to ryan

And very confidently say, mommy's popping out for an hour,

Feeling really good about it

Because we shouldn't feel guilty, all right?okay.

Big squeeze, kiss, smiles, smiles.

Bye-bye, everybody. I'll see you when I get back.

And you are gonna walk, okay?okay.

I was like, really? You think I'm gonna be able

To get out of this apartment without everyone

Clinging to my leg and jumping all over me? Like in "star wars"!

Daddy's got stuck together there. Hey, kids.

Then they'll never come off there. Ryan, dad,

I'm going out for an hour, and I'll be back.

Let me give you a hug and kiss. [Ryan] what--where?

I love you. When?

I love you. Right now. When--why?

I love you. Love you, too.

In one hour, I'll be back. I'll see you later. I love you ,guys.

In one hour. I said, I'll see you later.

I kissed everyone good-bye, and I was able to leave.

I couldn't believe it.

[Jo] because mom wasn't apologetic

And she didn't act guilty when leaving,

The boys just accepted it as a matter of fact,

And there was no meltdown.

Once my wife didn't feed into it,

It was okay to leave, and there was no problem.

If mom continues to use this technique,

She'll feel really good about going to work

Or anywhere else,

And ryan will feel okay about it, as well.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

I know! I know! I--

Bedtime turns into a nightmare.

[Screams] and later,

Dad makes a crucial mistake.

Jo's gonna bury me for that one. [Crying]

When "supernanny" returns.

How do you handle older children

Who are constantly fighting over one toy?

"A"--encourage them to play with each other

And take turns,

"B"--confiscate the toy,

"C"--distract them from the argument in the moment.

Find out after the break.

How do you handle older children

Who are constantly fighting over one toy?

"A"--encourage them to play with each other

And take turns,

"B"--confiscate the toy,

"C"--distract them from the argument in the moment.

The answer is "a."

One should never just take the toy away,

As it doesn't resolve the situation.

Positive parenting is about encouraging

Your child's social skills. Hey!

[Jo] because these kids are fearful

Of being separated from their parents,

It's meant that bedtime has been like a circus for this family.

So I need to deal with it head-on.

We're gonna do the sleep separation technique.

Their beds are set up like this. Mm-hmm.

And what I want the pair of you to do

Is to be facing this way--

You're looking away from them and you're at an angle.

There will be no talking, okay?

Okay. There will be no conversations had whatsoever.

This technique

Gives the child reassurance that you're around

Without having to be in their bed,

But they're initiating sleep by theirself.

And in case the kids got up in the middle of the night,

What I did was to give mom and dad

A second technique called the stay-in-bed technique.

You're going to take your child by the hand,

Tuck him into bed, and say, it's bedtime, darling.

If they get up a second time,

You'll say to them, it's bedtime.

And if the third time, they get up and try

And come back into your bed, you'll say nothing.

[Jo] I then gave mom and dad some earpieces

So they could hear my instructions clearly

On my walkie-talkie, and then I set up camp

In the living room with my monitor.

I love you so much.

Okay, guys, let's turn the lights off.

[Fanci] I didn't know how the kids

Were gonna handle it, how I was gonna handle it.

You know, it's been close to five years

That this has been going on, so it's an in--

You know, it's in their brain.

[Jo] jonathon fell asleep pretty quickly,

So I got dad straight out of there,

But that's when the fireworks began. Mom! Mom!

[Shouting]

[Jo] aside from everything else, mom was just worried

That the screaming was gonna wake up jonathon,

And then there would be two kids screaming.

[Crying]

I want to go in your room!

The worst part was that I couldn't talk to him.

Mommy, I want to tell you something.

Mommy, I want to tell you...

I felt really bad that I couldn't communicate to him

Why this was happening, why I was doing this.

As you now know, he's desperate for the communication,

But he needs to learn this is nighttime,

And nighttime means no conversation.

It's bedtime. Ohh!

Mommy! Mommy!

Give me a kiss, mommy!

I want to hold your hand.

Keep going, fanci. You're doing real good.

[Fanci] if jo was not talking to me in the earpiece,

I would have definitely crashed.

I wouldn't have made it through.

They're peacefully asleep. You might as well come out.

After minutes, both boys were asleep,

But inevitably, they were gonna wake up

In the middle of the night like they've done for years.

So tonight when you retire off to bed,

When the kids do come in,

What you're going to do is to adopt the stay-in-bed technique.

Basically, we just, okay, hold their hands,

Walk 'em right into bed and say, "good night, darling,"

And that's it? Mm-hmm.

Second time, "good night," third time, nothing? Yeah.

[Jo] shortly after midnight,

Dad got a chance to do the second technique.

[Greg] oh.

Hi. How are you? Hi. Come on, come on.

[Jo] remember the technique. No.

Come on, come on, come on.no!

Come back to bed, come on, come on. Shh. No!

Greg, you're not doing it properly. Come on. Come on.

Remember, don't panic. You just be very quiet.

You're like, "shh, shh, shh."

You're doing all of this, "shh, shh, shh, shh."

You know, you just take him

And say, it's bedtime, darling...okay.

And tuck him into bed, okay?

Mommy! I want mommy!

And then jonathon started to call mom's name

From his bed,

And that's when mom's heart started to break.

But can't we go over there and, like, soothe him... No, no.

Even though he's in his bed?

Do you think-- do you think that will--

Anything you do will soothe him?

What do you think will soothe him right now?

Uh-huh, you think that's enough? No.

What does he want? What soothes him?

Soothe him, and you will go out the room, and he will cry again.

It's what he wants, is in bed.right.

He wants your bed. [Crying]

Jonathon came out, ryan came out.

Mom went in, dad went in, mom came out, dad went out.

I mean, it went on for quite a while.

Mommy!

Mommy! Mommy!

I know! I know! I--

[Fanci] they were crying, they were upset.

It was definitely hard.

I didn't think it would ever get o--be over.

[Screaming]

These parents did stick with the stay-in-bed technique,

And they took the child back into their bed.

The boys were finally in their bed

And quiet for the time being,

But it was around : in the morning

And we were all pretty exhausted.

Mom and dad had done extremely well,

But it was time for me to leave

To see how they'll do without me.

I'm leaving you for a couple of days.

Everything you've been taught,

I want to see you guys implement.

Seriously, if you guys do not do it while I'm away,

You're gonna go back to square one.

If you have them in this bed tonight,

You're cheating them, you're cheating yourself.

This family are depleted,

Sleep-deprived.

So it's going to be even more important

That when I leave, they continue to do this technique.

It wouldn't surprise me if when that front door shuts,

Those kids hear it,

And they're running back in that bedroom.

I'll see you in a couple of days.

Okay.give the kids a kiss for me when they wake up.

We will. Thanks, jo. Come back soon.

You're welcome. I'll see you when I get back.

They do know full well what they need to do whilst I'm gone,

Starting from keeping those boys in bed tonight.

Question is,

Will they have the willpower to do it?

Coming up on "supernanny"...

[Crying] will mom and dad get any sleep tonight?

[Screaming]

And john tests mom's patience... No!

There are no lollipops. You just--

I want a lollipop! You just finished one.

When "supernanny" returns.

[Car horn honking]

This family had a lot to work on in my absence,

And I really do hope that they've been able

To stick with the techniques that I left them.

Good morning.hello.

I didn't know what she may hone in on,

What she might say.

Are we ready to take a look

At the dvd? Oh, yeah, sure.

That didn't sound too enthusiastic.

Throw it right at us, whatever you have.

All right, let's take a look at this.

Bedtime after I went, okay? Yes.

I'll see you in a couple of days.okay.

Give the kids a kiss for me when they wake up. We will.

[Crying]

I'm gonna...

What I see when I watch that,

Is basically you guys recognizing the importance

Of everybody getting sleep.

Yes. The fact that you had the strength to put 'em back

And hold faith in a technique that you know that you can do... Mm-hmm.

Is what's gonna give you the results,

And already, you're seeing them,

So just keep-- keep on with that.

Toy rangers. All right, guys, let's start picking up.

But the thing is, you both have to clean up,

'Cause they're both your toys.

You have an option--

You either play and we don't watch tv... My car!

Or we put this away and we can watch some tv.

I want to see you start doing it now.

Come on, toy rangers, let's go.

Excellent. Good job, guys.

Excellent job putting them away. Good job.

Good cleanup. Good job.

All right. Lovely, lovely.

Clear explanation to the children there, fanci.

We can leave it, or we can tidy it,

And we can do this afterwards.

So you made it very clear to them,

And that clear direction allowed them to make a choice,

And they jumped into it.

Fabulous, absolutely fabulous.

Okay, let's take a look at the naughty stuff.

I want a lollipop.

You'll get one later. Right now, you already had one. No!

You're doing really good. I really want one now!

There are no lollipops. You just--

I want a lollipop! You just finished one.

Stop your crying,

And let's go on and play some puzzles. No!

If you don't behave, you will go in the naughty chair.

[Crying]

Sit down in the chair now. [Crying]

Mommy! Mommy loves you. You'll get a lollipop later.

This really was a case of ignoring it.

I want a lollipop, I want a lollipop.

Well, we haven't got any, darling, and you just ignore it.

I was a little torn about this, 'cause I didn't think

I should have put him on the naughty chair

For this particular reason. You put him on there

Knowing you shouldn't have put him on there,

And so it was hard for you to even execute it.

So if he was crying about this lollipop.

I should have just said... [Snaps fingers] "no lollipop."

Walk away, he's crying.correct.

No, and just walk away.

Correct, so let's move on to the next clip.

Ryan, ryan. [Fanci] come here, ryan.

Ryan, pick up those pom-poms right now.

Go inside and pick up your books.

Are you picking up your toys? Go ahead and start.

Let's get started. Come on. Let's go. Come on. Come on.

Pick 'em up, pick 'em up. Put--put 'em in your room.

Come on. Do you want me to toss 'em in the--in the garbage?

Come on, pick yourself up. Come on. You're a big boy. Let's go.

I don't want to have to pick you up. Pick everything up.

Come on, let's go. Do you want some milk?

Would you like some water, apple juice?

Do you guys want hot dogs for lunch?

You sure you want another hot dog? You want another dog?

Yes or no? You gonna eat it? You don't want that hot dog?

Excuse me, I'm talking to you.

Enough of you, right?yeah.

Enough of me, enough of daddy.

Oh! Oh, my word. Where are the earplugs?

Do you see what you were doing here, though?

Their minds are like this,

Like, I can't answer so many things.

I'm just trying to concentrate, just, you know, doing what I do,

And all of that leads them to have overload.

So just becoming more aware of that

I-i do believe will help you a lot

And not feeling the need to overexplain.

What we're gonna be looking at here is the solo bedtime.

No, and I'm right here. You see me? I'm right here.

Try-- I love mommy!

Here. I love you so much. I'm gonna miss her.

I'm gonna be here. We're right here. We're in the room. We're in the room.

Mommy's not leaving. We're in the house.

I love you. Bye, I'm here.

I'll see you in the morning.

I'll see you in the morning, too.

[Crying]

What happened? Jo's gonna bury me for that one.

[Crying]

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I guess I deviated from the game plan.

When you go into a room...

Yeah. And your kids know that by crying, you go in,

It means you're gonna sustain that.

They'll just continue to keep crying.

You're working so hard, the pair of you,

And you're doing so well that to start going in now

Is gonna sabotage the whole thing.

It will--it will take you back.

I think mom and dad grasp what I was talking about

At the meeting.

I just hope now that they put it all into practice,

But we still have more work to do,

And I've got a few surprises up my sleeve.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

We are going to go into the store.

Will mom and dad be able to get the kids out of the toy store

Without buying them anything?

I got a little tight, and I got a little nervous.

I thought, oh, no, ryan is gonna have a total meltdown.

When "supernanny" returns.

This family have come a long way,

And I want to be able to teach them

The important things in life

Are spending time together as a family.

They can have these family outings,

Window-shop,

Without feeling the need to have to buy a toy all the time.

So I'm going to take them all to a toy shop.

We are going to go into the store,

And the children are gonna say, "I want, I want, I want."

And we're gonna say, when it's christmas or it's your birthday,

Then perhaps it will be possible

That you may receive one of those.

I got a little tight, and I got a little nervous.

I thought, oh, no, ryan is gonna have a total meltdown.

What do we have here? I want to get that.

Can I get it? Okay, so you know what I'm gonna do with this?

I'm gonna write it down.

You know what? Right now, we're not gonna buy anything, but--

I know, for my birthday.

Okay, I'm gonna write it down.

Because greg and I are now more confident,

The kids see it,

And they know, uh-oh, I better not mess with these guys now.

Let's go, let's go, honey pie.

The difference between today and going to times square

Was day and night.

[Jo] it's great to go into that toy shop

And look at everything they want,

But it's also important for them to be raised

With the spirit of--of being able to give,

And that's exactly where I'm gonna take this family now.

[Greg] oh, no, fanci.

Ohh, my stroller's here.

All of this came out of your apartment.

So we're gonna walk into the salvation army,

And we're gonna understand the process

Of giving to others, as well.

[Greg] want to put it in the basket? [Fanci] yeah.

You can get it-- you can get it over. Come on. Hurry, john.

I was still having some, uh, thoughts about that stroller,

But I had my time with it. It's out of my mind.

It was a good life lesson for the boys

To learn as young as they are

How to give to other families and other children in need.

All right, let's take it away. Bye.

Bye, it's gonna go to all the boys and girls. Say, "bye."

[Car horn beeps] this family have learnt

That the most important things in life are each other

And not trying to fill the gap with toys.

These kids were being fed

With quite shallow, materialistic things,

And the things that are important

To these children

Are the relationships that they have with their parents,

The time that you both give

To be able to enjoy each other's company

And grow and have relationships with one another.

I just hope they'll continue

To be really creative together and have fun.

If we can all

Just do something as a family, that's a good thing.

Want to do "twinkle, twinkle"?

[Playing "twinkle, twinkle, little star on guitar]

[Plays squeaky notes] that song. [Laughs]

Freeze music. I'm gonna play, and then you guys freeze.

Here we go.

♪♪♪

Freeze!

John, you want to play freeze music?

[Jo] you cannot buy time. It's precious.

[Greg] look at that excellent saxophone playing.

[Jo] you can have those materialistic gifts,

But what the child constantly needs

Is their parents' love and attention.

[Greg playing guitar] [plays a few notes]

Boys, come and say good-bye to jo jo 'cause I'm going now.

Thank you, ryan. Go, go, go, go, give her-- give her a hug and a kiss.

Bye-bye. [Greg] things have changed and transformed.

As a father, I feel more confident

In dealing with the children's issues head-on.

I feel like, uh, this big weight

And a--and a lot of pressure are lifted off my shoulders. Bye, darling.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you! Don't go, jo.

It was an amazing experience

That I think will just make us closer

And make us a, you know--a better family.

Bye. Bye, darling. Bye-bye.

[Greg] aw. Bye-bye, sweetie. Bye-bye.

You can't go. Can you stay with us?

We're very fortunate. Thank you so much. Bye-bye.

[Jo] they have recognized the importance of being able

To detach from so much materialism in their life,

And I hope that it has given them a new perspective

On their family values

To make their home a better place for them all.