06x11 - The Mann Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny,"

Jo visits the mann family in california.all right.

Life was difficult with one child.

And after fertility treatments, they got more kids

Than they bargained for.norah! Norah!

Now their four children are so out of control,

Mom and dad have resorted to smacking them.

Can jo help some of the most violent parents

She's ever seen...i love you, but you disobeyed.

I'm sorry, I don't agree with it.before they hit rock bottom?

Aah! [Grunts]

♪♪♪

Point loma, and it's sunny down here,

But there's a family who desperately need my help,

So why don't we take a look?

[Both] hi, we're the mann family

From san diego, california.

I'm melissa.and I'm mark.

We have children...naomi, who's ...

And the triplets, who are years old--

Nathaniel...madeleine...

And norah.[Screaming]

I'm a nurse midwife,

And I work two to three days a week.ow! [Cries]

You don't do that to me![Norah] I will!

My job is at a local university.all right.

[Laughing]you have got to be kidding me.

Naomi was from birth

A challenging baby.meanie.

She's very difficult to try to rationalize with.[Crying]

It's really like dealing with a or year old.

[Grunting]i'm not--i'm not--

This little girl, she needs some discipline.

When naomi doesn't get her way, it's extremely unpredictable.

Give it to me! Give it to me!

She becomes unmanageable.i want mama.

She's the "mistress of mayhem" in our family

In many, many ways.

Naomi...fine, I quit.

The triplets came along

About two years after naomi.

We needed to use some reproductive technologies.

In vitro fertilization.so we were really praying

And trusting for one more child.

[Yelling]there's only a % chance with in vitro fertilization

Of even having one child.

Having triplets is extremely rare,

Something like % or %.

Stop.[Screaming]

We just never imagined

That it would happen to us.

Why are there chicken nuggets upstairs?

Naomi's behavior and attitude

Really goes back to that time

When the triplets were born.

The common thread that runs through all of our kids

Is feeling left out.[Screaming]

Got you.eeny, meeny, miny, mo.

[Yelling][crying]

No, no, no, no, no.

They all want mom's attention--

Only one mom.

If I ask you again to go to your room,

You're getting a paddle.

Get back in the crib, or I'm gonna paddle your heinie.

[Crying]

We happened to go to a, uh, church children's seminar...[Crying]

On discipline, and it was advocated

That we use paddling,no! Ow!

Not good.

We found initially it worked very well for us.

You're getting a paddle when I come upstairs.[Norah] no.

[Yelling]

[Crying]

I love you, buddy.

I'm so sorry.

I forgive you.

This really isn't right.

I mean, you're smacking the kid,

And then you're hugging him at the same time. What?!

Overall, it's not working for us.

If you get out of your crib...ow! Ow! Ow!

I'm gonna paddle you.you're mean!

[Mark] n-norah, please co-- bring me the Kn*fe.

I find it really, really overwhelming

To have all four kids by myself.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

[Mark] come back here. Hurry, madeleine. Madeleine.

Madeleine, listen to me.

You never walk--

Norah! Norah!

I find myself really struggling not to check out,

And there have been numerous occasions

Over the last two months

That I have just wanted to disappear.

Wait, norah! Where'd norah go?

Madeleine. Madeleine. Madeleine.

Come on. Naomi.

Naomi! Naomi!

I have felt downright desperate.

[Yelling indistinctly]

I hope mark gets more confidence

In his ability to be with all four children by himself.[Crying]

We really need to turn things around.

Supernanny, please come soon.we need your help.

Guys, you need my help. I'm on my way.

♪♪♪

Hello.hi, welcome to the mann home.

Hi, pleased to meet you.come on in and meet the family. This is norah.

Thank you. I'll just come in.

She's one of the triplets.

[Norah] hi, supernanny.hello.

Welcome.how are you? Pleased to meet you.

Pleased to meet you.hi. Jo. And you're nathaniel, huh?

Hi, naomi, pleased to meet you. Hi, madeleine.

[Melissa] I was so excited when jo first arrived at our home.

She really is a gift from god to our family.

Norah, come and sit down...but--

Right now.it wasn't long before I started to be

In the middle of a lot of mayhem.

If I ask you again, you're gonna go upstairs to your crib.

Mom was putting norah in the crib to do discipline,

And every time she walked out of the bedroom,

Norah would jump out.what did I say?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.i said if you got out of your crib,

You were gonna get a paddle.[Crying]

I love you, but you disobeyed.

[Crying]

Mama, mama, I'm sorry. Don't--

My blankie. My blankie.you chose to disobey.

[Crying] my bed.norah, trust and obey,

If you get out of your crib, you're gonna get a paddle.

What's a paddle?

A paddle is whacks on the heinie with a wooden spoon.

That's what I saw on the tape, right, the submission tape?yeah.

So that--you've still got that one?well, they've all broken.

How?sometimes mark has broken it on the tabletop...

Right.mommy.

In anger afterward.

[Crying]so do any spoons exist

In your house at the moment?

A wooden fork.a wooden fork?

Right, okay, so the spoons are broke,

And now we've got the wooden fork. Right, okay.

Norah elizabeth, what did mama tell you?

I'm sorry.i said if you got out again, you were gonna get a paddle.

I love you, but you may not disobey mama.[Crying]

Mama. Mama.now you stay in your crib.

[Crying] I want to give you a--

You may give me a hug. I love you.

I mean, what's going on?

One minute, mom's spanking the kids.

The next minute, she's hugging and kissing them.

I mean, this is really mixed messages.

Jo saw me, uh, discipline norah.

It was difficult.

I hate that I have to use physical force...[Sighs]

To have the children obey me.

This is rest time.

Naomi.don't mess my bed. Don't mess it.

Don't mess my bed.do not speak to mommy that way.

You messed it up. You messed it up.

Come and get up on your bed.

It's time for a nap.no. No! [Crying]

Naomi.

You may not talk to me that way.

I'm not taking--if you get out-- out of your bed...

And when naomi has a temper tantrum,

It is a serious wobbly.

[Crying]

You may not speak to me that way.

That is disrespectful talk.

You may not speak to mommy in that way.

[Whines]

You may read a book if you get...no, you read me a book.

If you get down--read me a book.

You don't speak to me that way.

Read me a book.

How do you ask for someone to read?mommy...

Please, will you read me a book?

Naomi bullies them to the point

Where they end up giving in to her.okay.

Mom's really had enough of this rude attitude,

And I wanted to hear her voice, so I took it downstairs

Where we could have a private chat.

Tell me really how you feel

When naomi's kicking off, and she's looking at you

And she's talking to you like that.

I want to smack her across the mouth.

And say what?"How dare you talk to me that way?

You may not speak to me that way. I'm your mother."

I feel like I could be violent with her, and at times, I have.

I've--at times, I've taken her by the back of the neck,

And I've walked her up the stairs

And I've pushed her onto her bed...mm-hmm.

And I've closed the door and, uh, "you stay there..."

Mm-hmm.until I come up and get you."

'Cause you just feel like, "you know what?"--

I'm just totally exasperated.

I don't like her.mm-hmm.

I don't want her in my house.mm-hmm.

I don't want her around my children--my other children.mm-hmm.

To hear that just sent shivers down my spine.

It's an awful situation.

As a mother, you're looking at your daughter,

And you don't even like her.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Jo sees who's really in charge.okay.

Help!aah!

And a trip to the beach falls flat...

Aah! [Grunts]

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Mark] go back to your room.

[Speaking indistinctly]go back to your room, naomi.

[Jo] after watching mom, it was time for me

To take a closer look at dad, and I learned a lot.i do for--

Ow!now you've hurt y-your brother,

'Cause you were throwing a tantrum

And throwing yourself around.[Naomi] ow! You're mean.

You're gonna stay right here for five minutes.i am not.

I'll be back.you're mean.

Go back--no.

Get back on--go back and get on the bed.no.

I want you to go back and sit on the bed for a couple minutes.no. No!

[Whines] no.and you're gonna sit on the bed.

No.naomi.

No. No!i need your different behavior.

No![Nathaniel] you broke my...

[Jo] I could clearly see dad's pattern.

When he gets overwhelmed, he just checks out.

[Melissa] who loves you? Mama?mean! You're mean, daddy!

[Nathaniel] you broke my...

[Jo] he's feeling really strained.

He's got triplets and a year old,

And it's not gonna go away.

There have been many times in the last couple of months

When I have felt s-so overwhelmed.

I thought I could handle anything,

And I have felt broken.

♪♪♪

I hadn't seen mom and dad work as a team.[Crying]

So the opportunity to go to the beach

Would give me just that.

Mark, I need help.

She can't go out far. Naomi!

The undertow by here is so strong.

We should go over by the lifeguard.

Whoa![Mark] whoo-hoo!

Huh? Mom!norah!

A lack of organization from mom and dad

Meant that nobody had a good time at the beach.

We're done.well, no, we're--

We're just letting him go out too far.

I know, but you know what?

We should be over by the lifeguard.

You're soak-- soaking wet.

No, melissa...[Sighs]

I'm done. Let's go.[Coughing]

[Mark] look, the kids are actually having fun.mark--

You want to take 'em away already?

Yes, I'm ready to go. Please.

Come on, madeleine, let's go. I know you're having fun,

But we gotta go.

They got to the shower area, and that was even worse.

Both parents were stressed out.

You could see dad was beside himself.

Let me put your shoes on.[Melissa] was that fun? Did you have a good time?

They were struggling to get all the kids together.

The kids weren't listening.nathaniel, come out of the street.

[Mark] you come-- go to mommy right now.trust and obey.

Ow!trust and obey.

Mark...i'm bleeding.

You gotta pick her up and move along. Please.

Thank you.

Aah! [Grunts]

[Cries]

When I fell down, and jo came to my rescue,

It was like, okay, where's mark again?

You've gotta pick up the pace.

Just--just but-- just but--

At times, you had one kid, and I was like...i, uh--

"What are you doing?"

I had three kids up sitting, waitin,

And I don't know what you were doing.

I was walking with her at her pace.

Yeah, but it's not at her pace.okay.

Just tell me, hon.i'm telling you now, honey.

Thank you.

We seriously need to work on a game plan

For these parents for the safety of the kids.

Everybody ready for the light to go off? One, two...

[Nathaniel] three. Go![High-pitched voice] three.

It's been a very stressful day for this family...

Get back in your bed.and bedtime was no different.

I need to go potty. I want to go potty.all right.

[Jo] the triplets didn't want to settle,

And naomi wanted a bandage.

I'm not gonna wrap it all up,

But I'll put a loose bandage on.

But that--you won't put medicine on it.

It doesn't need medicine.it will stick.

Do you trust me?no, I don't.

Yes...i don't trust you.

I'm never gonna trust you.

Do you know

Why she might feel that way?

I don't.

If I see you getting up-- now you lie down, too.

Good night.

I'll go get you a band-aid, okay?

Yet again, naomi was browbeating her mom

Until she got her own way.

I can feel the medicine.

Okay. She rules me.

Eventually, I give in.

Okay.

I've had a full day in the mann family household,

And I feel that there are so many issues

That need to be addressed in this family.

They have given in to their children,

And it's totally unhealthy,

And it's not teaching their children anything.

[Mark] jo's here to assess the situation

And take control of it and whip us into shape.

That--that's scary. We're gonna get paddled.

♪♪♪

You're gonna be gentle, right?

Sorry? [Clears throat]you're gonna be gentle?

I'm gonna be truthful.

So the first thing I want to talk about is discipline.

Your messages are mixed.

You know, up-upstairs with--with norah,

You spanked her

And--and cuddled her at the same time.

How messed up is that?

I'm sorry, I don't agree with it.

I know it's an old school of thinking,

And I know it's what people did,

But it's not necessary.

Continue it, you're gonna break a child's spirit.

So something drastically has to change,

And we have to put measures in that allow us

How to be able to discipline properly.

Mark, l-let's talk about your situation.

You and I discussed about you feeling overwhelmed

And challenged with looking after the kids.

I hear you. It's a huge responsibility.

And I know that you feel desperate,

And I know it's because you don't have the tools,

But you then start to withdraw.

It's like you're here, but you're not switched on,

And I know you can see that.

There has to be a place where you accept your family,

Where you start to let your hair down

And really enjoy fatherhood, but I didn't see that.

There was about ten minutes that I actually enjoyed

Being out yesterday, and I was--

And I saw that moment, but it shouldn't take that.

Yeah.we shouldn't need the water, the beach, the sunset...

Yeah.to have that.

I hear you,

And I want to learn the tools from you.

So, melissa, what's going on between yourself and naomi

Isn't good.hmm.

She pushes your buttons, and you allow her,

And then you blame her for it...hmm.

And that leaves you in a place where you respond to her

In--in a way that's very hostile,

Not healthy at all.

The behavior that she shows when she's angry

Is your behavior.

She's just mimicking your behavior.

And your messages are mixed.

Mm-hmm.you spanked her,

And then you'll tell her no, and then you'll give in anyway.

It's important for us to discipline,

Yet reassure our children that we love them.

And it's the things that we do that builds that.

But right now, everything's so mixed.

Everything's so confusing,

And that shows me

That it's very confusing up here in your mind,

Because nothing's black-and-white for the kids.

They haven't got a clue. You're confusing 'em even more,

And it's ugly.

It's ugly on the outside,

And this is what's gonna be important to change.[Sniffles]

Let's talk about bedtime.

We could do with much work there.

I can certainly teach you techniques

To get them in their beds and staying in their beds...

Mm-hmm.as part of that sleeping process.

Great.got a lot on your plate--i understand that. It's hard work.

I just need two parents that are on board

To want to do that.oh, yeah, I'm on board.

We're on board.all right, so we're in.

Yeah.all right, thank you very much.

Thank you.thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Naomi raises the roof.[Screaming]

And will dad be able to take control?

Norah? Norah, wait! Wait!

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

Both mom and dad

Have got their own parenting issues,

But it's compounded when they don't work together.

So what I'm going to do is to take them both

Out of their comfort zone, and teach them individually.

And then I'm gonna bring them both back together.

So discipline...let me get down.

Is one warning.

The first thing I want to tackle is mom and discipline--

Out with the old and in with the new technique.

Naomi. Naomi.

[Melissa] naomi, please come upstairs.[Naomi] no.

And when naomi started to play up,

It was time for mom's first lesson.

You're gonna give her eye contact.

[Madeleine] watch me. Watch me!

You're gonna come down to her level...come. Come on. Come.

And in a very firm voice, you're gonna say to her,

"I asked you to listen and do as you're told."

I'm not looking at them.

I asked you to come up here, and you disobeyed me.

The next time you don't obey me,

You're gonna go straight to the naughty bench.

I--"do you understand?"

Do you understand?yes.

Okay, let go of her hands.okay.

And then I showed her where the naughty spot would be.

You place them onto the bench.

They'll stay there one minute per their age--

So five minutes, three minutes--

And then you walk away.

Now all mom and dad needed was practice,

And naomi obliged.

[Norah] mommy.uh, no, she's not. She's about to do a time-out.

[Mark] yep, 'cause I told her not to do that again.

Yep, she goes into time-out.right.

Then she'll have to resume back at the table.[Crying]

[Mark] okay. Hey, sit in your seat.

Sit down.i know what I'm gonna do.

[Gasps][crying]

[Jo] sit down and explain.

You're in time-out, naomi, because we asked you--

Mom, where's your voice?

Where's that-- where's that voice?

[Louder] we a--we asked you to sit at the table

And eat your dinner.

You're here for five minutes.

And naomi just freaked out.

[Yelling]

When naomi was on the naughty bench,

And she was just screaming and throwing such a fit,

I wasn't surprised by it,

But i--at the same time, I was just humiliated

That I have been such a large contributor

To this very behavior.

Only yesterday in this situation,

Mom would have resorted to spanking.

The words are there to manipulate

And to emotionally blackmail

And to pull the strings that they've been pulling

For far too long, because you've allowed it.[Yelling]

You've got to let it go over your head.

You can't take it personally.

Eventually, naomi did calm down,

And it gave mom the opportunity to finish the time-out.

Naomi, you are here

Because you disobeyed.

Sorry, mommy.

I'm sorry, mommy.

[Melissa] it was hard work,

But it was really also encouraging.

It felt empowering

To finally do it in a way

That was really gonna make a difference.

I'm sorry.

Now that I think that mom's got discipline

Safely underneath her belt, it's time to work with dad.

I've got one t-shirt.

So it's yours. We're gonna wave good-bye to you.[Kids yelling]

And you and I are gonna work.

Dad really needs to learn how to manage all four kids by himself.

And in order to do that, mom's gotta go away.

And he's gonna learn to be more capable and competent

In looking after his children.

Who wants to go to the park and play?

[Norah] no.me!

That's what I've had the most anxiety about doing.

Wait, wait, wait. Everybody, wait.

Madeleine's shoe. Okay, you two wait right here.norah, stop.

There's brian.[Mark] nathaniel!

Nathaniel and norah, wait. Everybody, wait.

Okay, now we're gonna walk across the path here,

And we're gonna go to the playground,

But we're all--do we-- wait, wait, wait, wait.

Ay-yi-yi, look at this.

We have to look both ways. Look to the left.

Are there any cars--mark.

Norah. Norah. Norah, wait. Wait!

Brian's over there.

At this stage, when you've got two and two,

You now need to be in the middle, okay?

Okay, we're gonna cross then.

Wait, wait, wait...once they got to the playground area,

Dad got busy just having fun with the kids.

[Laughing][voices overlapping]

I certainly think it's challenging for him.

I think he's stepped up.

I do believe that he can do this,

And I think he needs to believe that and know it.i got you.

Whoo! Whoo!mark, let's, uh, round the kids up.

Hey, listen, everybody, come here.

And as we started to walk back, naomi kicked up.

She decided that she was gonna go and do her own thing

Like a big grown-up woman, and dad started to walk off.

[Jo] mark, right from here,

Because you have three here,

I want you to turn around in a very firm voice

And say to naomi,

"You need to come here right now, naomi,

"Because if you do not listen to daddy,

You are going to be in trouble later. Do you understand?"Okay.

Now, naomi, you need to come here right now,

Or you're gonna be in big trouble when we get back home.

Thank you very much. Now sit down on the bench.

And that's the first time that I saw dad

Exercise his tone of voice out in public,

And naomi respond.

You talk with such conviction that they take you seriously.

They know you're not messin' around.

[Mark] that was really encouraging.

That was maybe the single most empowering experience for me.

Walk, walk, walk. Everybody, walk. Good job.

It was time to have lunch, and dad had made

Chicken sandwich and fruit.okay, everybody, lunch is ready.

And naomi dug her heels in.

No, I'm not eating it.

Naomi wasn't going to back down,

And she wanted her dad to give in,

And you just really can't.

So it really was a case of pushing through this with dad

And having him in a place

Where he just felt strong enough

To be able to continue with naomi

Throughout all her temper tantrums.

No! No![Voices overlapping]

[Jo] norah started to kick off.

There was time-outs, then back at the table again.

I mean, this went on for hours.[Crying] no.

No. No.

[Crying]

I don't have enough fingers and toes to--to count

The number of time-outs that I did today.

[Crying] I don't want any.

But I'll tell you what, he stuck in there.

We needed to stay strong with naomi

And let her realize that she had to do as she was told.

And eventually, she ate her sandwich.

[Mark] the hardest thing for me is to see

How out of control naomi is.

I want my old mommy back and my old daddy.

[Jo] I think it was a-a very valuable exercise

For dad.

However, the real, realpractice

Is gonna be when I'm gone

And having dad do the exercise when I'm not around.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Nighttime unleashes a monster.

No! No!

I don't like you.good night.

I don't like you.and bedtime turns into a nightmare...

[Yelling][naomi] I hate you, daddy.

When "supernanny" returns.

[Jo] I've worked with these parents individually,

But now it's time for me to bring them together

And see how they work as a team,

And I don't think it's gonna be that easy.

Communication and organization is key for mom and dad,

So I've brought in a list

With the most important thing at the top.

" Kids per parent,"

So between the pair of you,

You will decide who is going to take care of who.

So this example here is for the beach,

Because that's where we are going to go.

Mom and dad will be responsible for working together as a team

And completing everything on that list.

Norah, mommy's packing that. May I have it, please?

[Jo] but the fact is, it takes a lot of hard work

To manage four kids and get them out of the house.

No. No, that is mommy's. Give me.

Naomi, put your dress on.

Mark, I would like for you...

Okay, I've got the towels in the bag.

To take everybody down, have them go to the bathroom.

Are we taking our van?yes.

Okay, 'cause there's a red van that's--[jo] mark. Mark.

In order for mom to feel like you're working with her,

She said, "look, you know what? Let--let's do this."

And as soon as you go off on a tangent about something else,

She's like "all right, are we gonna do it?"

So if you both team-tag together and you get that done next...

Okay.then you can throw the next thing in.

Norah, you're not listening, honey.okay.

[Naomi] I like your belt.

When mom and dad worked together and took a task each,

Everything got a lot easier.

Uh, "soap"--check.

Got a comb or a brush?comb.

Melissa, before we go, who's gonna have which kids?

It's up to you. I--i've got naomi and madeleine.

I have nathaniel and norah. Okay.bingo.

We still need a bathing suit.yep.

And here's their easy clothes.

They can just put these dresses on.okay, we're ready.

We're ready? You're ready.

Now they were prepared,

It meant that half the battle was won.

Whether dad could step up or mom could relax

Would be yet to be seen.

Go on down to the beach, babe. Mark.

I'm gonna go sit with nathaniel for a minute.

Okay. I'll watch the girls.

Oh![Giggles]

Are you okay? Daddy's got you.i'm okay.

Mom and dad are working with one another,

And that actually makes this experience beautiful

For the whole family.hi, you.

Hey, melissa!what, mama--

You've got three now. I'm staying with her.

Oh. Hey, mark!

[Speaking indistinctly]coming back?

[Mark] being on the same page was helpful.

[Laughing]now I feel like we can actually go out

And--and enjoy a lot more of our lives.

We can actually enjoy each other while we're being with the kids,

And that feels really good.

[Melissa] okay, everybody.

[Jo] mom and dad did really well at the beach.

I mean, they enjoyed themselves as a family.

However, the real test is gonna come when I'm gone.

Next, it was time to tackle

Another problem together-- bedtime.

Come on, mad, let's get your cozy jammies on.

Bedtime's a nightmare in this house,

Because the triplets and naomi refuse to settle down.

Yes...i don't trust you.

Using a crib for a time-out is wrong,

And the triplets have outgrown their cribs anyway.

So I gave the children brand-new beds,

And I put norah and madeleine in one room,

And naomi and nathaniel in the other.

Once you've put the kids to bed,

Hugs and kisses and they've had their stories,

I would like you to come out of their bedrooms

And leave their door ajar and come downstairs.

If they want you, what they will do

Is come out of the bedroom and come down to find you.

We'll see how it goes tonight.

This is your first night in your big bed.

[Jo] and sure enough,

Separating the kids had an immediate effect,

Because madeleine and norah fell asleep straight away.

The next job however was keeping naomi

And nathaniel in their own bedroom.

I started--i'm turning the light--light off.

No! No! No!

I don't like you.good night.

I don't like you. I don't like you.

Good night. Good night.

All the kids are in their bedrooms.

If they come out, we start the stay-in-bed technique.

Dad, you're gonna start the first step

If naomi comes down, okay?

You're gonna just go, "it's bedtime, darling,"

And place her back, okay?stay right here.

No, I'm gonna sit downstairs with mommy.all right, I'll--

All right, don't let her reel you in.

You know naomi does that...

[Naomi] nathaniel won't lie down.

Never mind about nathaniel. It's just when she comes out

That you deal with her correctly.

But I really wanted him to...

[Speaking indistinctly]

Nathaniel's asleep now, daddy.

Okay, you're on-- you're on your third...[Speaking indistinctly]

Which is no communication.

Just gently put her back into bed.

In bed.daddy...

Why me?

[Speaking indistinctly]you're a bad daddy. You are.

Yet again, we are seeing naomi

Give her parents a run for their money,

And it's because she won't accept what they're saying,

So she wants to be able to control it.

[Naomi] I hate you, daddy.

What's the longest this has ever gone on for you?

Oh, probably about four hours.[Naomi crying]

You're mean. You are.

♪♪♪

"I'm hungry. I'm tired. There's monsters."[Nathaniel crying]

"I need something to drink. I need to go potty."

You name it. We'll get every excuse in the book.

[Yelling] da-da!

[Crying]

I haven't heard a thump yet.we're at two hours.

Go on, mark.go check on--

Go on and check.

♪ Victory ♪

You guys have just done...we did it.

The sleeping technique with four kids.[Gives high-five]

And in their own beds.

You should be really proud of yourselves.

You have helped us to do this.

Can I tell you what the biggest miracle has been tonight for me?

Is I never got upset once.yeah.

It's amazing what you can do, right?it feels really good

Not to need the spoon anymore, especially with naomi.

I am going for several days.

The pair of you nip the behavior in the bud.

Keep your calm with naomi.

Understand that it's change for her, as well.

In saying that, I'm off.thank you, jo.

Okay.

It's kind of scary,

Because it's really been nice having jo there

As a safety net,

But it's also really good, because I feel like

We both have a new sense of confidence.

Have a great couple days.thank you. You, too. Enjoy it.

Enjoy.[Both] thank you.

[Melissa] I'm not ready for her to leave.

I'm a little nervous that I'm not gonna be able

To pull it off the next couple of days.

It's going to be difficult for them,

But if they can come together and talk to one another,

Then I think they should do pretty well.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Naomi shares her feelings with mom.i hate you.

And has dad learned to step up?

I'm just gonna leave her up in the closet.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

I've been away for several days.

I hope that "mr. Wooden spoon"

Hasn't crept back into the house.

Okay, so the first clip we're gonna take a look at--

Mark and naomi, time-out.this is my bed.

You don't boss my bed.well, if it's your bed--

Come on. It's--you gotta come down right now.no, daddy!

No! She's not-- you are mean.

All right, you're going into--

You're going in time-out.

You don't pinch me on my face like that. Come on.[Crying]

But I need to put these back.

I will put them back.

No, i--no.

Come on.you are--

No, I don't want to have to go on that.

You're in time-out because you pinched me and hit me...you know what?

I'm gonna kick you. I'm gonna kick you.

And because you yelled at me.

No, you can't come up.

I'm just gonna leave her up in the closet,

And when she's had enough, she'll come down,

And then she'll have her time-out.

[Kids speaking indistinctly]

Five minutes.

Tell me why you're in time-out.

[Kids laughing and speaking indistinctly]

What else did you do?

Yeah, you did the right thing

In that circumstance, completely.

She came down and knew that she would have to sit

On that time-out, and she actually put herself on it.mm-hmm.

And then you continued with the discipline...right.

Which was important.

Yeah.so this was very good to see, all right?

Dad on the job.

Who wants to go to kid ventures?

Me. I do.i do.

Naomi, I told you, you have to hold his hand.

[Naomi] I want maddy.no. Maddy, you're gonna hold norah's finger.

Why?because this is what I said.

You can hold naomi's hand when we get inside.

Nathaniel, madeleine and norah, wait. Stop. Stop.

Naomi, stop. Naomi, stop. Naomi.

Team meeting. We're gonna stay together in here, okay?

Look at the dinosaur, huh?

Ooh, do you hear him growling? [Growls]

[Laughing]

[Growling]

[Growls] I'm a pirate, sir.

Stay right with me. Stay right with me.

Good job. Hey.hey.

Tell me the difference

Between you not so long ago

And you now.

I have a totally different sense of confidence.

Um, the kids are listening to me.

In the past, if I ever did anything with 'em,

It was kind of corralling them by yelling at them.

What would you say to another father

Who is in your shoes

And who felt that the only way to control a situation

Was to smack and get out a wooden spoon?

Seriously.i'd say, "you can make the change.

Things can be different."

It's a .it is. It's a total from where I was.

Thank you.

So let's move on to the next one--mom and naomi.

Hoo, here we go.

I don't like you, mom.

Naomi, those are mean words.

You had a warning.you--i hate you.

I love you.

Okay.

Oh, her words

Just go right to my core.

Because she knows that she always got a reaction from you

When she used those words,

That was her way of getting your attention.mm-hmm.

And you've gotta learn to be able to go like this...

When she used to say things to you,

You would get angry, and you would shout,

And you would yell and smack her.mm-hmm.

How are you feeling with regards to naomi?

In the beginning, you had quite harsh things to say.

I just feel like...

There's much to be done,

And I just realize

That I have a lot of work there to do.[Mark] yeah.

We will need to work on this relationship,

Because I believe there's much healing to be done there.

I think that we are certainly on the road

Of doing that with the pair of you.[Sniffles]

So let's move on to the next phase.whew. [Sighs]

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Can mom and naomi work out their differences

Before jo leaves?

[Jo] sometimes mommy wasn't very happy with you, was she? Yeah.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] I know mark feels really overwhelmed,

But he's not alone.

I mean, at last count, , sets of triplets

Were born every year in the u.s.a.

There's so many groups out there that cater towards moms

And their experiences with their children,

But what about the dads?

What about the guys who change the diapers?

So I took dad out to meet up with a couple of other guys

Who are the fathers of triplets,

Who understand exactly what he's going through.

So how are things going?um...

You mean this week, or all day?[Laughter]

Having kids and a family changes the marriage...yep.

And having triplets really changes the marriage.

Once we had the kids, everything was focused on the kids.

So we'd go out to dinner--we actually went out to dinner...[Laughter]

To our anniversary dinner, and we're sitting there.

And we're like, "so I wonder how the kids are doing?

Perhaps we--we should actually call them right now."

It was really good and helpful for me to see,

You know, three other dads who've been through everything

That I've been through.i often will, um, when I get-- get the chance--i've got

To run errands or something-- I'll take one of the kids

With me just so I can have some one-on-one time.

How do you deal with that sense of guilt

At what you're not giving to the, uh, to the others

When you're investing in the one?

Triplets are a little pod of people,

And they move around as a group, and if you take one out and say,

"Hey, let's go--let's go to the grocery store together,"

The--my kids love it. I-i--we take turns doing it.

I don't think it's a feeling of guilt.

I don't feel guilty about it.

I think it's-- it's fun one-on-one time.

There--there's sort of the group dynamic in the house.

I think when you take them out individually,

It's a different thing.yeah.

You know, they kind of assert their individuality.

Like, I had one son the other day--we were going to the store.

And I was going. He goes, "can I go to the store?"

I'm like, "yeah, sure. Come with."

He's like, "I love you, dad." You know, like, he was like,

"Oh, my god, I can't believe this gets to happen.

I-i think to see their enthusiasm

And--and their kind of zest for being fathers of their kids

I think was really good for me.

So is there an official network?

How did you guys meet each other?

There is. The more, the merrier.

The more, the merrier.there's like, families, I think, involved.

In fact, next tuesday, there's a big get-together

At a restaurant. You should go.wow.

[Man] what do you think?jo, that's amazing.

It was really cool that there's a network already existing

Of people who face the same kind of issues that we do,

And so tuesday, we're going.no, but, seriously, thank you.

Pleasure meeting you.i think the meeting went really well.

I mean, they all enjoyed themselves,

And it's nice to know that when mark

Feels overwhelmed, he has a place to go.blessings.

[Man] take care.bye-bye.

[Jo] the fact is, naomi

And her mother's relationship is still strained.

And I see it as one last chance, really,

To bring them closer together.

Before I came, you wasn't very happy, was you,

With mommy?

And sometimes mommy wasn't very happy with you, was she?

Yeah, that's right.

What I want to do

Is actually present you with this book.

It says, "mom and naomi show and share."[Whispers] okay.

So, naomi, you need to find something

That you want to show mommy and share with her

What you think about it or how it makes you feel...

Or talk about it--yeah, all of that, okay?okay.

The point of the show-and-share is to get both mom and naomi

To emotionally become more intimate with one another

So they can share their memories

And enjoy those experiences.

[Naomi] and this is my th birthday.

Tell mommy about your th birthday

And why it's special.it was fun.

We went to the jumpy thing, and we jumped.

And then we went to a place, and we ate there.

It's a nice moment when you see mother and daughter

Talking about the good times that they've had.

[Melissa] we went to the syracuse zoo in new york,

And we had popsicles, and there's that picture.

That's us at that celebration, and it was just mommy and you.

I'd love for you to draw the zoo.

[Jo] I would really like melissa and naomi

To do the show-and-share every week,

Because if they do this,

They're gonna become a lot closer together.

And they're gonna have happier feelings,

Because their experiences are gonna be happier.

I'm so excited about my future with naomi.

I feel like jo has helped me to really turn a

In my approach to naomi.

That's me and my mommy

Looking at the peacock.

So it is.

Give me a kiss.bye.

Bye.

The changes I saw in the children

Are the changes that I live for

When I teach families.

These kids are and .

They are going to squabble, but that's the journey.

Jo, we can't begin to express

How thankful and grateful we are

For everything that was given to us.

I feel like we're starting on a new path.

It's bright, and it has so much possibility.[Jo] thank you.

Thank you very much.no, thank you.

This has been a transforming week for us,

And we have a lot to really feel good about.ah, mm!

I am going home.having jo here

Has really empowered me and given me hope

That I can become the kind of parent

That I'm supposed to be.

Keep in touch.you, too, jo.

Naomi! Mwah.

It was very hard to say good-bye to joe.

You take care. Listen, listen, listen...you, too.

You are gonna be okay. You know that, right?i do.

She's given me faith in myself, you know?

She's definitely changed my life,

And she's changed my family, and I'm just very grateful.

♪♪♪