07x04 - The Young Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny," jo travels to a secluded island

To get the shock of her life.

[Yelling]

Three boys run amok

With machetes

And hatchets...pow!

And mom and dad don't even care.

I think you're bloody crazy.

It's his favorite toy. He likes playing with it.

What the hell is going on here?

This family has moved four times in the last year...

Every three, four months,

You're going from one state to the next.

And the lack of consistency is causing the boys to act out.

[Thud][woman gasps]

Can jo bring stability into the boys' lives?

You've broke one of the rules. It says "no hitting."

Or will someone get hurt?

Stay away. [Laughing]no. That's not funny.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Well, as you can see, I'm on a ferry.

Whidbey island, upstate washington,

About to take a look at a submission tape

For a family who claim they need my help.

So why don't we take a look at this?

[Both] hi. We're the young family.

I'm jenye.i'm ricky.

[Jenye] and we have three boys.[Yelling]

[Ricky] we have nicco who's six.

And makai--we call him kai-guy. He's four.

And little crew, who's months.

[Crying]i know. I gotta-- I gotta go.

I work for a security firm.

Bye-bye.

Because the economy's kind of tough right now,

We've been having to move around a lot,

And that means relocating my family quite often.

We're really only in, like, one city for about three months

At a time.and we don't really know where we're gonna go next.

Wow. Look at that. I mean, they barely got settled here,

And then they're on the move again. Might as well not unpack.

I think I'm gonna get a, uh, box

And start putting some toys in there.no.

[Ricky] we dread the idea of having to bring out the boxes.

As soon as we start bringing out the boxes,

That's when, like, mayhem will really start to set in.

[Thud][jenye gasps]

[Jenye] all day long, the boys are wrestling...[Makai groans]

Hitting...ow!

Kicking, running, everything.[Grunts]

[Ricky] hey, hey, hey.[Jenye] nicco!

I think jenye's sometimes just like, "go for it.

Go outside, go in the forest, take your machetes."[Yells indistinctly]

[Yelling] whoo!

Machetes?

Dada!

Why would these kids be playing with a machete?

Pow!

Oh, my god.

Are you kidding me?

Hey, hey. I got a new project.

Let's get all the toys in the yard and clean 'em up.

[Ricky] I think jenye feels really guilty

Because we've been moving so much...[Makai] ow! [Crying]

That she kind of lets the boys get away with it a little bit.

Careful with baby. Careful with baby.

Excuse me?

These kids are not listening, though.

You know, theydoneed some boundaries.

[Crew wailing]

Bedtime is really hard.

[Crew continues wailing]

[Ricky] I think bedtime is a nightmare. I hate bedtime.

[Sobbing]

You see the dark circles under my eyes?

Those are courtesy of crew because the kid is months

And he's still sleeping in our bed.[Crew continues sobbing]

You know, every time we move,

Crew-bee is in a new room or a new crib,

And so his consistency has been sleeping with us.

I get no sleep. That's my biggest thing with crew,

Is I get no sleep with him.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

How is this family meant to function on no sleep?

We've moved four times in the last year,

And another move is coming.

Supernanny, we really need your help.

Well, looks like we're here. Better go and help.

♪♪♪

Hi!hello.

How are you? Hi.i'm jenye. Come in.

This is my husband ricky.

Pleased to meet you. Hi.nice to meet you.

This is our baby crew. We call him crew-bee.

Hi, crew. Hello.[Crew] hello.

Oh, I love him.and this is nicco.

Hello, nicco. How are you doing? Pleased to meet you. Jo jo.

And who's this? Kai-guy, pleased to meet you.hi. Kai.

I know, obviously from watching your submission,

You've kind of been moving houses back and forth,

Back and forth. But you started off here...

This is our home...right.

But then when ricky has jobs, we go, like,

For three to six months, depending on how long it is,

To somewhere else.right, okay.

So we were in orlando for a little bit

And then it was new mexico.so you've been moving, moving, moving...

Yeah.and then I see that there's a-a lock on the door, which is,

Normally, when somebody's coming to view the house.

Yeah. We just got an offer on this house.

Oh, okay.and so, uh, they want to close in two weeks.

So you're gonna be moving again in two weeks.yeah.

All right. Okay. So you're the moving, traveling family.yeah, we are.

It is so hard every time we have to move away

Because I'm constantly asking my kids to make this transition,

Transition, transition. I do feel that guilt.

I think it's mostly been hard on nicco.

Nicco's at his fourth kindergarten.

So he's meeting friends and trying to settle in...new schedules.

And then before that's done, he's gone again.yeah.

Very quickly, I realized that emotionally, she's very torn.

She knows that it's ideal

To have her family settled in one place,

But she supports her husband for her family's sake

In making sure that they can move around

And support ricky's work.

So what's going on up--up there?

What's happening up here?

This is the playroom-- their hangout up here.

So I go up to the playroom, which is wonderful--

Big, large playroom-- and nicco is not present,

But he's outside.

Is that a machete he's playing with?yeah.

[Clank]what's he doing with my van?

I was like, oh, great. Here we go.

So I knew I was in for a barbecue right there.

I think you're bloody crazy.[Laughs]

I was like, what the hell is going on here?

I think you're crazy that you're standing there like that

Knowing he's playing with something

That could take his fingers off. Seriously?

Well, it's pretty dull. I dulled it down.

I mean, he still could get hurt, yeah, but it's not--

Then why are you not taking it off him?

It's his favorite toy. He likes playing with it.

I know, but it's not a toy, is it? It's a tool.

It is a tool.whether the machete is blunt or not, it's dangerous.

You don't play with a tool. Full stop.

That, to me, is really dangerous.

Can I ask you to take that off him, please?yeah.

Observing on my first day, I don't normally intervene

With situations, but watching these boys

Running around with a machete is absolutely insane,

And it does need to stop.hey, nicco, kai,

You guys gotta come back up here a sec.

We're gonna put the machetes up high.

[Whines] I don't want these to go up high.

Nicco didn't like the fact that his dad wanted him

To not play with the machetes anymore.

Stay away.no. That's not funny.

It took some convincing for nicco to give 'em up.stop!

But then instead of standing by his decision,

Dad felt that he had to negotiate with nicco.

How about when we need to do the firewood,

You can get it out and you can chop the firewood.why?

Because that's an appropriate thing to use it for.

You have other toys that we can play with.

[Ricky] he had a breakdown and ran off

Into his little forest safe place.

That's kind of how he handles punishments.

If he has his feelings hurt, 'cause he's so sensitive,

He does kind of just leave.hey, hey. I just want to talk. Come here.

Mom actually went over and went and joined nicco

And started to pacify him by hugging him...[Crying]

And stroking his hair.

I kind of saw there and then that actually

When dad makes a decision, mom sabotages it.

It's just for a little while.[Ricky] jen, just give him his space.

He's fine.[Continues crying]

[Jo, lowered voice] I think she stays over there to make herself

Feel comforted that she's doing something.

Let's go. Let's go.mommy!

She feels really bad that she's making him cry.

He's been able to play with this for so long,

And then for it to be just, you know, taken away--

A lot of changes with that kid. A lot of changes.

Is it hard for you having to give him all these changes

And rules, 'cause constantly...oh, yeah. It just hurts my heart.

Another thing I've--mommy's now gotta tell him another thing.

Yes. Oh, my gosh, yes, and I feel like, you know,

It's the last thing I want for my kids to be suffering,

You know, for choices that ricky and I are trying to make,

You know, to better our family.

And so I feel guilty for the constant change.

And, like, no consistency.

I held my tongue as I listened to mom

Pull up all these excuses--

Feeling guilty about moving house time and time again,

And allowing certain behavior to happen because of it.

That's ridiculous to me.

Coming up on...

This is supposed to be crew's room.

Jo discovers shameful sleeping arrangements...

In albuquerque, he was sleeping in our closet.

Crazy. They're crazy, really.

[Shouting indistinctly]and with dad gone,

The boys go wild,

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

Hey, well, hey, I'm gonna go to work, so...

Dad had to go off to work,

So in the afternoon he went, and that gave me

A wonderful opportunity to actually watch mom with the boys

And see how they interact.have a great day.

Watching ricky drive away

And knowing that I was gonna be alone with jo--

I was like, thanks a lot.

[Jo] I knew that these parents had a problem

Getting their youngest one crew off to sleep in his own room.

Mom and dad relocate every few months,

Which makes it incredibly challenging

For crew to feel settled when it comes to bedtime.

This is supposed to be crew's room.

[Jo] when I walked in to his room,

I realized there's no way he could sleep in here,

Because it--it was empty. There was nothing in his room

That would make you feel like it was his room.

There was no toys in there,

And there was no bedding in his crib.

In albuquerque, he was sleeping in our closet

In a port-a-crib, and then in orlando,

It was in a closet.depending on where we're living,

His sleeping arrangement would have to change.

So instead of changing it every time,

I've just found it to be consistent

For him just to sleep with us.

Sometimes ricky will want to just, like,

"Oh, he should go sleep in his crib,"

But then he'll always end up back in bed with us.really?

[Jo] mom and dad are using moving around a lot

As an excuse for not dealing with behavior

That needs to be addressed.

Crazy. I mean, crazy, really.

I mean, dad's tired. Mom's tired.

He needs to be able to learn to sleep in his own bed.

♪♪♪

Whoo!hey, hey, listen. If you guys can play quietly

While I put crew-bee to sleep...

With the older ones playing upstairs,

Mom took crew downstairs so that he could take a nap

In her bedroom.[Jenye] ♪ I love crew-bee, crew-bee loves mama ♪

The pair of them were underneath a blankie.

Crew was facing his mom while she was singing this lullaby.

I am in that little place with my sweet little baby

And having that mommy/baby time.[Jenye humming indistinctly]

This ritual, I think, seems to be more for the benefit of mom

Than for crew, and I think it's because she feels guilty

That they move around so much.

Whoo-hoo!

[Boy screeches]

Then nicco and kai started to run wild

In the living room next door to where crew was made to sleep in.

Oh!

[Shouting indistinctly]

♪♪♪

[Screeches]

[Jo] oh!

Mom tells these kids to go up to the playroom

And play in there while she gets the little one to sleep.

They should understand that this is the time of day

Where they have to keep the volume down,

The little one has to sleep.

There's no consideration for the rest of the family members.

And so, you know, that's something that mom's

Got to teach these boys.hey. Hey.

Hey, nicco, come here. I was trying to put crew-bee to sleep,

And you guys were running all around, yelling, making noise.

It wasn't very helpful for me.okay.

I knew that mom wasn't gonna calm down this unruly behavior

From the older boys with this gentle, soothing voice.

And they carried on.

Hey, hey, hey! Hey, boys, no. No. No.

My kids were misbehaving, but I felt powerless

Not to be able to say hey, knock it off and be heard.

[Jo] as soon as dad came home,

I just knew that I'd seen enough from this family...[Imitating police siren]

And was looking forward to the family meeting.

So tomorrow I'd love to sit down with the pair of you...

Okay.and, you know, let's just iron out some of these issues.

It's gonna be probably tough. She's probably gonna

Lay into us a little bit.good night.

[Jenye and ricky] good night!i'm expecting to get hammered.

♪♪♪

I'm nervous for what she has to say,

Because I know that this is the time where she's gonna...

[Voice breaking] just pick me apart as a mom.

So let's start with boundaries.

Not being able to say no to the kids

Leaves them in a place

And feeling like everything is yes.yeah.

It doesn't help with their emotional maturity.

One of those examples was when you told nicco

That he wasn't allowed to play with the machete,

And he didn't like it. He was told no.

And so he had a little bit of, you know, a mood

And cried a little bit.

I just feel like I've put them through so much the last year,

That why not make one little thing a little bit easier

For them to deal with?when you allow behavior that you know is not safe,

That only leads to worse behavior.

Allowing nicco to play with a machete set precedent

Over the importance of setting boundaries

And having rules and following through with discipline.

So you've gotta start to recognize what's important

In the bigger picture of everything and what isn't.

Mm-hmm. Balance.yeah.

Let's talk about your traveling. You're making big moves.

Every three, four months,

You're going from one state to the next.

So creating stability for your family

Is incredibly important.

Everything you're teaching your children

Will need to be established and put in place

In whatever house you end up in

That you call a home.

Makes sense.

So let's talk about crew's bedtime.

Are we both in agreement that we don't want the little one

In the bed anymore?

Gosh. Yeah. Look at these bags. Yes, please.[Chuckles]

However, nothing's being done to stop that from happening.

Why?usually somebody can't handle him crying so much, and so--

Did you just point to me? [Chuckles]

Yeah, a little bit. And so then,

It's like, you know, he ends up back in our bed.

What--what is it that you think's going on when he cries?

He's scared. He doesn't know where he is.

Things are crazy. We move into a new apartment.

Boxes are everywhere. I just don't want him

To feel anxiety or... You know?he's months, though.

I think she looks into it too much.

Like, I think she's overanalyzing the--

I don't think so. I don't think so.

I know he knows when--you know, feels the stress of me, even.

Like, when I'm stressed out, you know--

Yeah, exactly. He probably feels your stress.

I think crew sleeping in bed with you two

Brings not just comfort to crew

But also brings comfort to you.

I think he emotionally fills this hole

That makes you feel so scared

And nervous in the place that you're at right now.

I've never thought about it, but... Yeah.

So what we're going to do

Is teach crew how to very happily go to bed.

He's waiting for you guys to teach him.

That would be great.the next thing is us not talking anymore

And putting it into action and doing what's necessary.yeah.

So we're all on board?yeah.

Okay.

Coming up on...

If I have to ask you that again, you're gonna go in time out.

Jo grows tired of mom's wimpy ways...

All right, give me a warning. Give me a proper warning, mom.

And when crew has to sleep in his own bed...[Crew crying]

He tries to break mom's heart...mommy!

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

After establishing that these kids don't have rules,

I brought in the plates.

On them we'll write the rules and then pin them up.

Cute.

We never put the rules out

In any sort of, you know, written thing

That everybody could agree upon.

I'm really excited to set those into place.

They have the tendency of hitting each other a lot

Or hitting jenye, so I would like that to be a rule.

[Jenye] no name calling.yeah, no name calling.

[Ricky] do you think it's effective?

Like, we have "no, no, no."

The reason why I've had you write "no"

Is 'cause your kids have never heard "no."That's true.

It's for us to practice saying it.

As for the machetes, I've already made sure

That mom and dad have put them away forever.

So minutes...all right, minutes.

Meal time.i'm on board.

Mom and dad finished writing the rules, hung the plates up,

And then they brought the boys in for an explanation.

These are all rules that we're all gonna promise

That we're gonna follow--mommy, daddy, nicco, kai and crew.

See the yellow one?mm-hmm.

It says, do as you're told.

And look at the red one. This one's really easy,

'Cause I know you guys are great at this one.no hit.

No hitting.no hitting.

No biting. No punching in the privates.

No hitting.

No hitting in the face.

If we don't follow these rules, what's gonna happen?

We're gonna have discipline. We're gonna have consequences.

I think they-- they were a little bit excited.

Maybe nicco was a little hesitant because as a kid,

I guess that's your job to rebel against the rules.

But hopefully it will be a good experience for all of us.

[All] one, two, three, young!

Good job.[Jenye chuckles] good.

With the rules now done,

Mom and dad would need to learn how to enforce them.

And so I brought in the time out mat

And gave 'em the steps.you're gonna say to them in a very firm voice,

"You're broke one of the rules. It says 'no hitting'."

I really wanted to focus on stern warnings

With mom and dad and the correct tone of voice.

And it wasn't long before we decided to practice.

[Makai] mama!keep it.

If I have to ask for that again,

You're gonna go in time-out. Do you understand?

Don't take his doll. Okay?[Makai] ♪ la la la, la la la la ♪

All right, give me a warning. Give me a proper warning, mom.

Let me see it. You've got a perfect opportunity--

Authoritative voice and firm in what you want.

All right, let's try it.

Here's your warning. I don't want you to take bella anymore.

Do you understand?

Thank you.

[Jo] nice.

Mom did show that she can give a proper warning

Because she used a low-toned voice.

Let's hope she keeps up with it later.

One of the big issues in this family

Is that crew sleeps in his mom and dad's bed,

And it leaves these parents sleep-deprived.

We're gonna take the first step forward

In making his room very familiar.

I need mom and dad to stop using moving around

As an excuse so that they can

Put the basics into crew's bedroom

That would allow him to feel cozy in his own room.

So what we're gonna do is we're gonna go and take up

Some things that he likes to play with

And put 'em into that room. And just spend minutes

In that room with him playing with some of the toys.

So up we went to crew's bedroom

And invited his toys to be in that room

So he'd become a little bit accustomed to that space

Before he was going to sleep in it.

Catch. Whoo!

Catch.crew totally reacted to jo's idea

Of putting all the stuff in there. He looked around...oh!

Saw his own toys and saw familiar things

And started playing with them, had no qualms

About jumping in his own bed and, you know, hopping in there.

And even though he was hopping around

And playing in the place where he should be sleeping,

It was still, like, he was comfortable with it.

Crew, you're jumping on your bed!

It's where you go to sleep now.

You're going to be going to sleep in your bed.[Laughs]

Even when the youngs move to a new home,

Putting familiar toys into crew's bedroom

Is gonna help him sleep in there and out of their bed.

But the real question is, how will mom do?

I intend to find out.

Tonight we're gonna do the sleep technique

With little crew.

Before crew's bedtime, mom was becoming rather nervous.

I knew that emotionally,

This was going to be incredibly difficult for her.

For mom,

This represents not just about crew sleeping in his bed.

This represents, emotionally, something much bigger

Because jenye feels quite guilty.

So I knew that not only would I be settling crew,

But I'd also be settling jenye as well.

I explained to mom that she would be the first

To do the sleep separation technique.

This is what we're going to do.

We need to teach him that when he comes out of his bed...mama! [Crying]

He has to go straight back into it, okay?

You're going to sit like so. The crib is here.

You're gonna be at the corner of the crib

Facing towards the door.

The sleep separation technique

Is we put crew-bee in his crib,

And then you have to sit on the ground

And listen to him cry in his room

So that he sees you and you're actively ignoring him.

As soon as he comes out, it's straight back in.

No "shh," no nothing. Just straight back in. Okay?

When she asked me to go sit on the ground...

[Voice breaking] and have him see me ignoring him,

I thought, he's gonna have his heart broken.

I'm gonna crush him.[Crying]

[Normal voice] I was like, this is not gonna work, okay?

I don't care how much experience you've had.

This is my kid, and it's not gonna--it's not working for me.[Crew] mom!

[Crying] mom! Mom!

Everything inside me just hurts when I hear him cry.[Crew] mom!

It was pretty awful, 'cause it was so hard.

And I just wanted to turn around and scoop him up.

[Crew] mom! Mom!

She's never had to experience something like this.

She's never had to have this emotional disconnect

With one of her children like this.

And so I was a little worried that--that she was gonna cr*ck.

[Continues crying]

He knows how far he's got to go to get you guys to cave in,

And he will go there.

He will go there tonight.

[Crew] mom!

Coming up on...

Crew pulls at mom's heartstrings

Like never before...

My body just wants to go to him.[Cries]

And later, jo fights to get dad's attention...

Turn your face around and look at me when I'm talking to you.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Crew crying] mom! Mom!

[Jo] I was teaching mom the sleep separation technique,

Where she's adjacent to the crib, and crew will know

That somebody's there,

And it's secure for him to sleep in his own bed.

[Crying] mom!

But crew's not having none of it.

He's in the crib saying, "mommy, I cry. I cry, mommy.

I'm dying."

And I was just--i was bawling, and I'm, like, trembling

Because my body just wants to go to him.

But after a while, jo was sitting right outside the door,

And she kept going, "you're doing it. You're doing great."

I thought, okay, you know what? Jo promised me that this,

The first night, was gonna be the hardest,

And if I could get through the first night,

Then it--it would be easier from there.

[Screaming] mom!

Mom!

Mom! Mom!

It's always hard as a parent to hear your kid cry,

And for me sitting out in the hall

And knowing that my wife's in there,

Knowing how much she loves her kids,

That was honestly the hardest part for me.

Mom! Mom! Mom!

Mommy!

Help!

[Speaking indistinctly]

[Continues crying] dad!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

[Crying stops]

And she had done it.

She held out.

We did see crew go off to sleep,

And mom came out with victory smile on her face.

[Whispers] good job, babe.thanks.

She did a great job.

She followed the steps that jo told her to do,

So I was really, really proud of her.attagirl.

Aw, thanks.serious.

Even though--after crew-bee had fallen asleep

I was still an emotional wreck. I was shaking.that was hard.

I'm proud of you.going through it was m*rder...

Yeah.but you actually have just broke a massive cycle

That was creating a bad habit.

But I very much doubted that mom was done for the whole night.

What'll happen is, is that he'll wake up in the middle

Of the night, and he'll either wake up and cry

Or he'll wake up and he'll get out of his crib.

And what you need to do is to go back in,

Resume the same position, have him cry,

And if he gets out, go back to sleep again.

Jenye won the battle, but the w*r's just begun.

In an hour or two, he's gonna get right back out,

And jenye's gonna have to go do that whole same process again.

[Crew speaks indistinctly]

Mom? [Sniffles] mom!

In the middle of the night when I had to get up with him,

That was awful.

Mom! Mom!

It's like, I'm already tired, and I'm--here's my baby crying,

And I remember sitting on the floor

Just feeling like-- like crushed, almost.

Mom!

And jo went and sat by the door.

I don't know if she saw that I was, you know,

Just really having a hard time,

But she came in and--and whispered in my ear

And told me, "hold strong."

Mom!

I'm dying!

I'm dying! Mom! Mama...

And sure enough, he went back to sleep.

I think they've proven to themselves

That they are capable of doing it.

They've just got to be consistent to get those results.

Mom and dad certainly had a rough night,

But they stuck with the technique,

And things will get better for them.

Moving on to another issue-- because of dad's work,

The family have to move around all the time,

And I really want this to be positive and not negative.

So I want to get the boys involved in the moving process.

This house will be for the kids.

It will count down the days that you have

Towards moving to your new home.

In this last year alone, we've lived in five places.

I try to look at it as an adventure,

But sometimes it's hard.

You'll see that there are windows here.

Every day the kids will take turns

In opening up a different window.

When you get down to the last seven,

It will have instructions of the things

That you and the kids will do

Before you actually pack up,

Drive and go to your new home.

For example, third day before--

"Draw pictures to send to your friends."

This gave us something so we could focus

On fun things that you get to do,

Bringing friends into the pictures,

Being more creative, writing letters. What a good idea.

I had a little surprise for these boys

To create some consistency

For when they move to their new home.there are three bags--

Makai, crew, and this one says...

Nicco.nicco.

Now the important thing is to provide these kids

With the same things in every place they go

So that the room that they end up in

Is the room that becomes familiar.

I have their name.

We have...[Jenye gasps]

Oh! Who's that?who's that?

[Makai] kai!kai!

A picture of the family.she had pictures of their grandparents

And a blanket for each of the boys.not yet.

And she had a little bag where they could collect

Their little cars or, you know, treasures.

So as soon as you get to a new home,

You go, "right, let's get your room.

"Let's color our name. Let's put it up.

Let's put the blanket."

It's laying down a ritual straightaway wherever they are.

So, kai, yes, you may have yours,

And you can take a look in your bag.the boys ate it up.

Like, that was their favorite thing, like, they've ever done.

It was like christmas for them.

[Grunts]it's-- [laughing] thank you!

[Jenye] aw!

Ohh.[Laughing]

Immediately, they started playing "moving"--

Where they rolled out their blankets

And they set up their frames and put their little things out.

[Ricky] now I definitely feel that we have the tools

And the techniques to make this move an easy transition

For--for my family.[Nicco] morning time!

Let's pack up.gotta pack up.

I'm gone for several days.

You're doing ricky bedtime tomorrow.

Tonight, you're doing it, mom, with crew.

Remember the rules.[Jenye] I'm really nervous.

I'm gonna have to really, you know, amp it up.

Let me give you a hug.[Jo] there's been a lot to put in place

And, effectively, they have tools that they can now apply.

I'll see you soon, okay? I'm gone for several days.

Bye, kai. See you soon.however, they got to do it without a safety net.

Coming up on...

It's dad's turn to get tough...

This is your warning. I need you to do as you're told.

And mom faces bedtime without jo's help...

[Screaming]

When "supernanny" returns.

And now...

What do you do about a child that says,

"I'm not tired. I'm not tired" at bedtime?

Find out the answer when we return.

And now...

What do you do about a child that says,

"I'm not tired. I'm not tired" at bedtime?

The answer is "c."

Set up a bedtime routine that creates more time to sleep.

This will allow your child to switch off slowly

And wind down for the evening.

Teaching children how to relax will result in

A deeper and more restful sleep for everyone.

♪♪♪

[Jo] after being away for several days,

I want to make sure that the whole family

Are feeling more comfortable now with the process of moving.

[Whispers] I'm nervous.i was a little nervous sitting there, honestly.

I knew there was stuff that I failed at,

So I knew that she was obviously gonna point those out.hiya.

[Both] hi.

Okay. Ready to take a look at this?[Laughs]

Let's take a look at our first clip--

Countdown to moving.

You know, I got that text saying

That it's little rock, for sure.nice.

If we move on the th...[Ricky] yeah?

Announcement-- then today is number nine.

"Get favorite games ready."All right.

So that's what we'll do tomorrow.[Speaks indistinctly]

[Ricky] good job. Way to use your muscles, guys.

That's lovely.

[Laughs]you're using the house,

You're recognizing that as much as there's

A list of things that you need to get done,

There are things that the kids can do,

Which helps them on this emotional journey of moving.

You know, all those fears. If you're emotionally feeling

Like, "what are the kids thinking? I feel so guilty."Mm-hmm.

This allows them to be a part of that.

That was a wonderful piece of footage there, the pair of you.

So let's move on to crew's bedtime.

[Crying] no!

No!

[Thud]

[Screaming]

Guess what? Crew-bee slept in his own crib

All night long last night.[Crew babbling indistinctly]

[Jenye] good luck, ricky.thanks, baby.

[Crew babbling indistinctly][jenye] be strong.

[Crew crying] no!

[Ricky] time to go night-night. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

[Crying]

[Crew wailing]

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Okay. Jenye, you were very consistent

With the sleep separation technique,

And that's why you got the results,

Because you have remained in the same place,

And he has the security of knowing that's where you are.

Ricky, you haven't remained consistent.

What you've done is become impatient with it,

And it's left him not knowing.

You first put him into his bed

And went, "shh," and came out.

Then you decided that you would stay in the room,

Like what jenye was doing. But instead of staying there

And showing him that you were gonna be in the same place,

You started to move further and further away from the bed,

So you're not allowing him to feel secure.

And so that's why you're getting him, getting up,

Getting up, getting up. How many times does he get up now?

Last night, he got out a lot.why do you think he did that?

Yeah. 'Cause it was after he did it. [Chuckles]yeah.

All right, so it's one rule, one technique,

And both doing it.

Okay, so let's move on to warnings.

Kai-guy's st-stinky.[Growls]

[Jenye] is that name calling?[Ricky] hey, are you guys name calling?

What's the rule?

"No name calling." So that's your warning.

If it happens again, you're in time out.

All right. You've got to get out of your head

That using an authoritative tone of voice

Is being mean.

It's allowing your children to have that distinction between

Your conversational voice and your voice that means,

"I'm being serious, guys. That's enough. Stop it. Pack it in."

And if that continues, you'll go back to square one tomorrow,

With regards to the kids not listening.

[Makai speaks indistinctly]this is your warning. I need you to do as you're told.

I need you to clean up those toys

Or you're gonna go on time out. Do you understand?[Squawks]

Okay, go clean them up.bye-bye!

I feel that when you're trying to talk to the kids,

You don't always feel like they are listening.

Yeah, I don't.

He's grabbing hold of his kids to get their attention

Because they're looking all over the place.

And I do feel that dad would feel a lot better about himself

If he could learn to discipline in a very effective way.

So what I'm going to do is

To teach you how to get your kids' attention

When you are giving out the first step of discipline--

A warning.

So I guess we get busy with the rest of the stuff, right?

Let's do it.awesome.

Coming up on...

[Blows whistle]

The kids learn how to pack fast...

The boys are running around, crazy.

And jo has a face-off with the father...

Turn your face around and look at me when I'm talking to you.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] after watching the dvd, I could see dad would need

More coaching when it comes to giving effective warnings,

So that he could learn how to teach these boys

To listen to him without having to hold 'em.

Come down.

And as you're telling kai, what would you be doing?

Where would-- where would your hands be?mine?

Yeah. Where would your hands be?probably like this,

So he doesn't escape.exactly. So do the same to me,

And then tell me that I have to go to the table.

Okay, you need to go sit at the table.

You need to go sit at the table. [Laughs]

Not effective. [Laughs]right.

All you need to do when you're speaking to him is,

When he starts to move, lower that tone of voice

And ask him to do what you want him to do.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you. Turn around.

Turn your face around and look at me when I'm talking to you."

[Ricky] she definitely put it in perspective.

Like, hey, the ability to learn control over your voice,

And the words that you're saying to your kid is important

To be able to help them understand.

All right, if you're trying to tell me something,

And I'm looking around, what are you gonna say?

Turn around. I'm talking to you right now.

Exactly. Make sense?yeah.

Dad was on track, but I do want to do a couple of things

To help this family through their transition

Because they are gonna be moving again in two weeks.

Moving out is going to be incredibly stressful,

But I wanted to show mom and dad with a little bit of creativity,

They could make packing a real fun game for the boys.

[Jo] this is a fire drill that we're going to do.

Nicco, I want you to be a part of this in a big way,

So I've given you the fire chief hat.

That's the man who's in charge of the other firefighters.

I'm the fire chief.

So you have the red one, okay?

And kai and crew have the yellow ones.

You will have four minutes

To collect your favorite things

That you need to take

To your next home

And bring downstairs, back into this box.

[Blows whistle]

[Ricky] she had a stopwatch. You know, blew the whistle.

The boys are running around, crazy.

Fire chief, you forgot the firefighter!

He's downstairs!

Coming!i'm not help--

[Jo] put it in the box.

[Jenye] it was definitely fun. And I think it's exciting

For the boys to get to open up and have something to do,

And just really takes all the focus off

All the negative things.ten seconds left.

[Jenye] I feel really empowered.

Like, okay, we're going on this adventure,

We're together as a family. Let's do this.

Four, three, two, one. [Blows whistle]

[Jo] before I leave,

I have one thing that I want to give to these boys

To help them feel connected to their friends and family,

Because they're moving to a new home in two weeks.

These cards here-- they're--they're very special.

Look, there's a football one

And a bear and there's hearts.

So they're all different pictures that you can color in.

But the wonderful thing is-- is that at the back,

There are stamps, and they become postcards, okay?

So you can color 'em in

And send 'em to grandma and grandpa.

It's something really hands-on that he'll be able to, you know,

Be proud of and take ownership and be involved in.

He'll use 'em up real fast.

♪♪♪

Jo coming in here was amazing.

We have a plan, we're gonna execute it,

And I feel-- I feel really empowered.

Hello, hello. Mmm! [Kisses] bye, sweetie.

Bye, jo-jo!

Bye, crew-bee. Mmm! [Kisses][jenye] aw!

With another move coming up,

Like, literally right around the corner, I feel like

We're pretty well-empowered. Like, we'll be able to implement

All those things that jo taught us.

All right. Thank you. Bye.

[Jo] listen, take care.thank you, jo. Bye.

It has been a great time working with this family.

And I'm really pleased to know now that they have consistency

To help them with their frequent moving.

There's a bright future for the young family.