07x05 - The Van Acker Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"...

No!

It's jo versus a -year-old volcano.

[Screaming and wailing]

[Jo] hi, dylan.[Spits]

[Spits] pleased to meet you, too.

Little dylan controls the house with an iron will.

[Man] now you gotta put 'em in one pile.no!no!

[Crash]you go--hey!

[Screaming]he flat out refuses to eat.

You need to have a bite.[Screams]

Let's go try and use the potty.no!

And potty training is out of the question.

Give me my diaper!

Can you eat the rest of your sandwich?[Whimpering] no!

Mom and dad are desperate.[Jo] he realizes that

He can control you and you-- you become the pushover.dylan's underweight.

His diet has led to anemia.

[Woman] don't spit it out.and each day, he's getting weaker and weaker.

[Wails]only jo can help.

Mommy told you to sit at the table and eat your dinner.

Because now it's a matter of life and death.[Crash]

Oh, my god![Screams]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Hi, guys.

I'm in oak view, california this week,

Ready to help a family.

Why don't you join me?

Hi. We're the van ackers.

I'm jessica.and I'm kevin.

We have children-- emma, who's ...

[Whining] no, I don't want to get rid of it today!

And dylan, who is .[Wailing]

No, no, no!now we gotta put 'em in one pile.

[Shouts indistinctly, grunts][screams]

Emma is a very spirited little girl.

You don't?no!

[Spitting]

[Screaming]

Dylan loves to scream/

[Screaming]

My word. He's not letting up at all, is he?

No. No!let's go try and use the potty.

Potty training doesn't exist for dylan.

[Screams]

[Kevin] if you try to make him use it,

His fit almost gets into convulsions.[Screaming]

[Kevin] but he's just terrified of it.honey, it's okay.

[Jessica] he's starting to run and hide from us

When he has to go to the restroom.are you going poop?

[Dylan] no, no!well, what are you doing then?

[Jessica] he will hold his pee or poop eight hours.

Does it hurt?yeah.

[Jessica] he won't put big-boy underwear on.

You don't want to be a big boy?diaper!

Why didn't you tell me?

We could've went poo-poo in the potty.

[Jessica] don't you want to eat some food?[Screams]

Dylan has the most control.dylan definitely has the control of the house.

You want dinner now?

He runs the dinner and when to eat, what to eat.

All right. Let's make some dinosaur chickens.

[Kevin] he doesn't want to eat real food.[Screaming]

It's always gonna be something sugary or a snack.

We took him to the doctor and found out that he's anemic

Due to his diet.

You're not having the fruit roll.[Screams] no, I am!

[Jessica] he doesn't eat vegetables.he don't like it, huh?

He doesn't eat meat.can you eat the rest of your sandwich?

[Wails] no!and he's always tired, and he's always grumpy,

And he's exhausted.if he's anemic, we need to be in control of this situation.

Unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh, unh-unh, uh!

Come on. Come.[Screaming]

[Kevin] it's to the point where we've let the kids

Take over the house, and we need someone to help us.

You need to have a bite.[Screaming]

If it doesn't work, we don't really know where to go next.

Get! [Yells indistinctly]no, no!

[Spits]supernanny, please get here as soon as you can.

Well, I know you guys are feeling overwhelmed,

But hang on in there, because I am gonna be with you soon.

♪♪♪

[Doorbell rings]

Hello.hello!

How are you? Pleased to meet you.

Good. I'm-- nice to meet you. I'm jessica.

Hi. Jo.hello.

[Jo] how are you? Pleased to meet you.[Jessica] this is emma.

It's a pleasure to meet you. And who's this here?[Emma] my brother dylan.

Hi, dylan.[Spits]

[Spits] pleased to meet you, too.

[Jessica] can you say hi? No?

[Jo] moments after I met dylan,

He just sank down into the furniture.

I mean, it was only morning.

The poor boy looked exhausted.

Kevin. Good to meet you.hi, kevin. Jo. Pleasure to meet you.

Do you want to say hi, dylan?[Dylan spits]

Okay. Yeah.no, he's gonna... [Spits] today, yeah.

He's gonna poop out, yeah.i'm gonna put my bag down

And be a fly on the wall. Okay, thank you.

Okay. Perfect. We're gonna have lunch.

[Thud]can you go-- hey, don't kick me.

Go sit at the table.[Spits]

And right away, dylan started acting up.

[Screams]

[Jessica] what's wrong?

Can you hold on just a minute? Do you want chicken?

No, no!

And then I got to see how big an issue

Dylan's mealtime antics really are.

[Screams][kevin] want some water?

You're fine. Stop.

Why don't you want to eat?[Spits]

Please? I got you watermelon.

[Screaming]

[Jessica] what's wrong?

Want me to cut it?[Spits]

I could cut it for you. You don't want it cut?no!

I was seeing how much he knows exactly what buttons to push.

[Squeaks]

[Jo] when you look at dylan,

You can clearly see that he has control.[Makes whooshing sound]

Oh![Jessica] eat it. You gotta bite it.

Finally, we got him to eat a carrot.

I'm thinking, "oh, great. He's gonna eat it."

Took a couple chews and decided he didn't like it.

[Jessica] don't spit it out.

Dylan likes to chew things up and spit 'em out.[Jessica] eat those.

It's frustrating with dylan because sometimes you feel like

You're trying to give him what he needs,

But he just won't take it.

[Kevin and jessica] are you done?yeah. [Whimpers]

Dylan's got so much control. Within ten minutes,

He's down from the table and he's in the pantry,

Where he's given treats and sweetie things to eat.

We actually just found out he's anemic because of his diet.

And so he's got an iron deficiency

Which could cause him to be tired

And gets the dark circles under his eyes.

[Jo] with mom and dad not on top of dylan's anemia

And not providing him with a well-balanced meal,

You... Know why he's got no energy.

What do you think?i'm more of, like, the old-fashioned dad,

Where it's like, well, if he doesn't eat,

He'll get hungry, and he'll come back.

But he doesn't.

[Jo] it's critical that he start to eat healthy food.

And these parents know that it is important,

Yet they're not stepping up to do what is necessary.

[Whining] uh, mommy, give me that back!

[Jo] with dad gone off to the grocery store

To pick up a few things, and mom sitting down at the table

Doing homework with emma, we saw dylan kick off again,

And mom did nothing about it.you don't sharpen that.

[Dylan crying] no!

[Jessica] I know if dylan doesn't get his own way

When I'm helping emma with homework,

Homework doesn't get done like it should get done.

Everything in the house stops.give me the pencil.

[Whining and crying]

[Jessica] stop.[Dylan crying]

[Spits]

[Jessica] get down.

No! [Whines indistinctly]yes.

[Jessica] you're fine.[Dylan wails]

Dylan screams a lot.[Dylan screams] mom!

It hurts my ears. That's how loud it is.

[Dylan shouts indistinctly][jessica] stop, d.

[Screams]

[Jo] emma's struggling to do her homework

While dylan's screaming at the top of his lungs.

[Screams] mom!

[Jo] and what's mom doing to change this?

Nothing.mom!

[Dylan screams]

Coming up on...

There's no stop to dylan's relentless demands...

And jo doesn't mince words with mom and dad...

[Jo] you stop being pushovers and being lazy.

You guys need to mean business.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[Dylan screams]

[Wailing] no!

[Dylan shouts indistinctly][jessica] stop, d.

[Jo] I was watching emma try and complete her homework

Whilst dylan was kicking off.[Spits]

And mom did nothing about it.

[Screams][jessica] stop. Now.

Do you want me to put you in your room?

What is the room? Is that your time out?

I don't have a time out for him.

[Screams] no!

No! No!stop. Come here.

[Jessica] I tend to let things go and go and go

To the point where I get frustrated.

I just pick them up and put them in their room,

Shut their door, so I don't have to deal with it.

You can sit in here until you can come out and be nice.

If he's naughty, mom places him into his bedroom,

Which is the same place that he plays with his trains.

So it's more a case of getting him out of mom's hair,

Rather than him sitting down and understanding that

There's a course of action that happens when he misbehaves.[Squeaks]

♪♪♪

[Screaming]

[Jo] dylan's well over years old,

And he's still not potty trained.

There's certainly an issue here.

He will not use the restroom. He will hold it.aah!

He'll scream, "I can't hold it anymore! I need a diaper!"

[Screams]

[Emma] nuh-unh!no! Mom! A diaper!

Diaper, mom! [Screams]

Why don't we try going pee-pee in the potty?no! Diaper!

And dylan was like a broken record.

"Diaper, diaper, diaper, diaper!"

[Dylan] diaper.

[Jessica] come on.

Mom! A diaper!come on.

Diaper!let's go.

So what is it you're doing now?give him a diaper.

[Dylan] diaper!do you have to go poop or pee-pee?

Diaper.do you have to go poop, or do you have to go pee?

Diaper!dylan, do you have to go poo-poo or pee-pee?

Diaper!

Come on.diaper, diaper!

Fine.

So I instantly had given in, put the diaper on him.

He walks out right in front of jo,

And he says, "I'm peeing now."

I peed my diaper, mom.

I was pretty embarrassed.

[Jessica] you think you could go pee in the potty now?yes, I think so.

Oh, yeah. I bet you do.

[Jo] and after dylan peed, he got the potty out.

Well, he's hardly gonna use it now, is he?

I can't pee?you can. You can try.

[Jessica] why can't you?

What's little?

[Laughs]

Doesn't mean you can't go pee in the potty, buddy.

I want a new diaper.you went pee-pee in this diaper. It's all yucky.

The parents have become very complacent.

It's convenient for them to place a diaper on dylan,

And he's become comfortable with that, and so have they.

You know, you could sit down and go pee-pees.no!

Why not?

Does he generally stand up and go for a pee,

In the grown-up toilet, or...

He stands there, but he's never actually done it.

They believe that he's scared

Of sitting on the potty and the toilet, and I don't.

[Wailing]

♪♪♪

And then dinner was being served

And I thought I might get the chance

To see dylan having a healthy, balanced meal,

But that didn't happen.[Jessica] it's not a toy. Eat it.

And just like lunch, dylan refuses to eat.aah!

It's a power struggle, yet again.

[Screaming]

What?

If I eat mine, you eat yours. Ready? Here we go.

[Jessica] go. Ah-ha!

[Laughing][yells]

You put two and two together

And you work out that your child can't be eating healthy food

If they're looking underweight as dylan's looking.

They're just really not making the effort

To be conscious about the foods

That they need to be providing for their children,

And they have to.

Sit back at the table.no! [Crying] no!

There's no potty training,

No discipline,

No healthy meals. I knew that I'd seen enough.thank you for today.

Sure.and I'll be here bright and early tomorrow.

Thank you very much.good night.

Thank you, jo.good night.

And so I am eager to come back into the house

To really talk about those issues

So we can start to work on it and make progress,

Because the stakes are too high

When it comes to this boy's health.

♪♪♪

I am absolutely a nervous wreck. I'm afraid she's gonna tell me

I'm a horrible parent and everything needs to change.

Hiya.

Hello.good. How are you? [Clears throat]

Very well, thank you. Yourself?nervous.

There are several things

That we can address here that I think will just make

A huge difference to your family.

And one of those things is dylan's eating habits,

Which leads to his being anemic

And redressing that is going to be key,

Because we know it's part of what's necessary for him

To grow and develop. It's not like you're not aware

Of the foods that dylan should be eating,

But it's become a struggle to have him eat

That healthy range and variety, because of the snacks.

And right now he's controlling that situation.

Dylan's sitting at the table and saying, "I don't want it.

I'm not going to eat it," means "I get down from the table

"And within ten minutes, we can have all those goodies

In that pantry." Being anemic is one thing...right.

But now we're talking about dylan just wanting to control.right, yeah.

Correct.and I think you guys do know that difference.

Yeah.i do. A little bit.

I mean, yeah, I do. I do. I do.you do.

I think if you're being honest, you'd say "I do..."Yeah, sure.

"And sometimes I'm just laying off dyl."Absolutely.

Mm-hmm. Laziness, definitely.

So we need to be able to address the behavior that's naughty.

Right.and so it's going to be important

That we do put a time out in place.

And sending him to his bedroom to do a time out does nothing,

Because he's in there playing.right.

So what do I do with him?

Because if I'm to sit him right next to us in a chair,

He's gonna get up and come to me and hang on me.

Correct, but he's only gonna do that until he realizes

That you'll follow through.

The fact is, there is no follow-through with you.right.

And so he realizes that he can control you in that way,

And you--you become the pushover.

So talking about control and dylan wanting his own way,

Leads me to the potty training.

Mm-hmm.

He stands round and says, "um, no, I'm not gonna do it."

Right. But I feel like he's terrified of it.of what?

He won't sit on the potty.

See, the--the fact is, is that, "I'm scared. I can't do it."

It's all basically "I don't want to do it."Mm-hmm.

And when he starts having this big performance about,

"I need the diaper," well, let's face it.

What's the worst that's gonna happen?

He's gonna poop in his pants.

Falls on the floor.correct. He's gonna poop in his pants

Or he's gonna wee in his pants, and done.right.

So dylan's eating habits...mm-hmm.

Potty training and the control, we can put in all of it,

But you guys need to mean business.right.

You stop being pushovers and being lazy

And just get on and do it.

[Both] sounds good.thank you.

All right.

Coming up on...

[Screaming]

Jo lays down the law with dylan...

Any more of this nonsense at the table,

And you'll be going straight into time out.

But dylan's not having it.[Screaming]

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] the first thing I need to tackle with the van acker family

Are these health issues with dylan.

He's got anemia because he's not eating very healthy at all.

[Jessica] can you say hi?hi, dylan.

Dylan needs to have

A certain amount of milligrams of iron a day

And so what I have done is

Brought in a list for this family so that they can identify

The food groups that are rich in iron.

Red meat and your leafy veg.[Kevin] mm-hmm.

Dried fruit, beans, peas, soybeans.

[Kevin] sounds good.

It was time to head off to the grocery store so that

We could get some of these goodies that were on that list.

♪♪♪

Yep.[Jo] having emma go with her father

To pick out those vegetables

And feel like she is letting the family eat the right food,

And also serve dylan, with his being anemic,

Is a win-win situation for this family.

Green beans.

We picked out all the vegetables and it was really fun.

Potatoes and asparagus. Okay, that's our vegetables.

Dad grabbed some food that was on that list.

[Kevin] it's a good reference

And definitely a good source of foods that's gonna help

With the iron deficiency in dylan's diet.

Do you guys have flank steak?

Yeah.all right. Can I get, uh, pounds of that?

[Jo] buying the foods is the easy part.

The challenging part is getting dylan to sit down and eat them.

At dinnertime, mom and dad served up peas,

Chicken...[Jessica] so we'll just cut pieces for him.

And corn for dylan.

But he was having none of it.

No! [Yells indistinctly

[Wailing]

[Screaming]dylan, don't scream at the table.

We're not going to get up

Until you're finished eating your dinner.[Whimpers and screams]

Peas. Dylan.dylan's behavior was more than just playing up

Because he didn't want to eat.

And because nobody was doing anything,

I stepped in to give dylan a warning.

Dylan, stop that--turn around, please. Turn around.

Stop that screaming right now.

Any more of this nonsense at the table,

And you'll be going straight into time out.

Do you understand?[Whimpers]

Right, stop it. Get on with your dinner, please.

But he didn't listen to the warning.

He carried on screaming.[Screaming]

You're gonna finish your dinner.[Wailing]

Dylan started to cry, he started to whine,

Dylan, you're not finished.

Mom wasn't stepping up, so I decided to lead by example,

And put dylan into time out myself.

Mommy told you to sit at the table and eat your dinner.[Whining] I'm tired!

And you are screaming

And you are not behaving yourself and listening to mommy.

Now you will stay here.

[Kevin] jo stepped in and said,

You know, this is how we're gonna do it.

And it was a complete meltdown.[Screaming]

[Jo] initially, dylan's temper tantrum

Had escalated, but then he calmed down,

And I was able to finish the time out.

You were put here because you were misbehaving.

You were being naughty.[Whimpers]

And mommy said to you, "eat your dinner."

No, I'm talking.i wanna take a breath.

Youaretaking one.[Jessica] for me to be able to watch her in action,

I hopefully can repeat that and do that myself.

[Screaming]you need to turn around and eat.

[Screaming][kevin] I'll take care of her.

[Screaming]that is unacceptable. You do not dump your food out.

[Jessica] when dylan dumped his plate, I thought, gosh,

You know, he's gotten really bad at this point.

You're getting a time out. You do not--[whining and screaming]

[Wailing and choking]settle down.

You are sitting here because you dumped your plate.owie! [Wailing] I'm sick!

I just started to feel really bad for him,

So I really fought with myself with,

Okay, I just gotta let it go

Because I know it's gonna be okay in the end.[Whines]

I would like you to tell mommy that you're sorry.[Sobbing] sorry.

Now can I have a hug?

Having jo there to watch everything was a good thing.

When I was doubting myself, I had somebody there

To teach me exactly how to do it correctly.

I will get you a napkin,

But you need to sit at the table.

Dylan had learnt that it's not okay to dump his plate.

But we still gotta get him to eat.

As soon as you finish eating, you can get down.

But you need to eat what I asked you to eat.[Screaming]

What I want you to do

Is tell him that he needs to have

Four pieces of chicken and two peas.

[Jo] when your child's a reluctant eater,

It's so important as parents

That you give clear, realistic expectations.

Listen to me. You need to eat four pieces of your chicken.[Sobs]

And you need to have two peas, and then you're finished.

Put it in your mouth.[Crying]

He just refused to taste the chicken.

You need to finish eating.seemed like he had every excuse in the book.

And then dylan made a run for it,

And he gave mom and dad quite a scare.

Oh, my god.[Screams]

What happened? What just happened?[Crying]

[Jessica] are you okay?see your frozen veg in your fridge?

Okay. Put it out of the freezer and wrap it in a towel...[Crying continues]

You're fine.okay? And then put it on his head.

[Jo] ultimately, everything was all right.

And then mom took dylan back to the dining table,

And he realized she wasn't giving in.

[Crying]sit down and eat your chicken.

You need to turn around, and you need to sit down

And eat your chicken.

I think it kicked in for dylan where he's learning

That the rule's changing. "I mean not gonna be the boss.

I guess something's gonna have to break here."I want to take a shower.

You can take a shower. Eat that.

Good job.

Very good you ate that... [Speaks indistinctly][jo] good boy!

[Jo] dylan finally ate some of his food.you eat the last one.

Admittedly, it was only two mouthfuls,

But it's better than nothing, and I know I'm gonna still

Have to work with this family on getting dylan to eat more,

But it was a real big breakthrough.

Coming up on...

When jo takes away dylan's diapers...we're all done with the diapers.

No!he puts up the fight of his life.

No! No!and then when jo starts potty training...

[Crying]it's all-out w*r.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

[Jo] where one child is using up all of their parents' energy,

It sometimes means that the second child,

Who's well-behaved, gets left out.

And sometimes the parents' frustrations

Can be very much projected on that child.

This would be a good thing to grasp with the kids.

Um, it would allow you-- hold on a moment, darling.

Come on, remember that, "excuse me"?

This conversation we had last night.

When everyone left, we had the conversation

That you interrupt. You need to stop,

And if you have something to say, you ask, "excuse me?"

[Kevin] emma wants to be the priority all the time,

And she wants to be the center of attention.

But sometimes we have to deal with--with dylan, so...

She wants to push buttons.so don't interrupt.

Nothing's that important unless the house is on fire.

I've started to notice that kevin

Gets very agitated by emma.

So I took him outside into the backyard

To have that adult conversation with him.

What is the biggest thing--

The biggest thing that agitates you the most

About emma that you need patience with?

Lately it's been, like, what just happened

With her interrupting.yeah.

Um, the bossiness.

It's basically just her little-- it's a little attitude.

Okay. It's easier said than done,

But recognize that through

You nipping the behavior in the bud straightaway...

Mm-hmm.

In a very calm and composed way, is going to allow her

To recognize the seriousness of it.

If you come home, and then all youaredoing

Is correcting her about things, it leaves her going...

Like this.mm-hmm.

You know, all... I'm not pleased.

The forehead sweat. "What am I doing wrong?

I might be in trouble every time I talk to him."Yeah.

Yeah, I don't want to have the whole

"Wait till your father gets home."

It's gonna be real important that dad remain patient

When dealing with emma's behavior,

So they both get the results

Without straining their relationship.

We've certainly made progress with dylan's diet.

But I knew we had something far more challenging ahead,

And that was potty training.

You're going to collect all of the diapers,

And you are now going to get all of his underpants out.

It's going to be very important for dylan during the day

That we get rid of the diapers.

Because it's been confusing for him in the past.

He's gonna make a choice to go to the toilet

Or to end up peeing in his pants.

Okay.and when he does, it's not about scolding him.

It's about looking at him and saying,

That was really silly, wasn't it? You know where you go.

You don't get your diaper until the evening.

I'm a little worried to go all in and that's it.

For potty training, because I know dylan's gonna be

Dragging on my leg and, "please give me a diaper."

Nokey, nokey, nokey, no!

Listen, it's just some underwear.[Screams]

[Crying] no underwear. No underwear.

He won't ever let me put them on.

Take the diaper away.

Diaper! Diaper, mom!

We--we're not doing diapers, dylan.

We're done with the diapers. We're all done with the diapers.

No! I want--i want diaper.

If you want to choose some underpants, they're right here.

You can put 'em on, okay?mommy!

Do you want to go sit on the toilet?

Not "do you want to?" These are the choices.

Let's go try it.no "try" either.

If you want to go for a poo,

You can sit on the potty, dylan, or you can sit on the toilet.

We're nottryingto do it. This is what we do.

Would you like to go poo in the potty or the toilet?

Let's go.[Shrieks]

All right. Mommy, take it, then.

I'm gonna go put it in the bathroom.

[Wails]

[Clatter]

[Wails]

Mama! Mama!do we just let him go or...

Yeah.okay.

Yeah, this is just all attention.right.

[Crying]

I will put your pants on if you--

But we need to put your underwear on.

No!

No underwear! [Crying]

[Crying continues]

No underwear!

[Jo] this is what winds you up, when he's in your face?oh, absolutely.

So just tell him, "look, I've already told you."

I've already told you. If you want your pants,

You will bring some underwear, and I will put them on you.

[Speaks indistinctly]i'm not going to do this right now.

Stand up for a minute. I'm just gonna show you.

We've already spoke about this.

If you want to go outside, go get some underwear.

You can put your pants on, and then we can go out to play.

Stop this faffing around.no!

Go and play somewhere else. Go away, please.

Come on. Get away, please.no play!

No shouting. If you want to talk to mommy, no shouting.

He's oscar-worthy isn't he, this little one? Look.

[Dylan crying]

Would you like to get your underwear and your pants on?

[Cries][jo] good boy.

Did you pick out a pair of underwear?

No.

Okay. Well, then we're not putting the pants on.

[Speaks indistinctly]okay. Which ones do you like?

Dylan realized that we were saying the same thing

Over and over again, and no one was budging.

Would you like to put them on now? I'm going to go eat dinner.

Look at that. These are fabulous underwear.

[Whimpers]

Now let's go get your pants.

When dylan finally put underwear on,

I wanted to, like, "hooray!" Out the window.

It's a major accomplishment.

So I was completely shocked.

I really honestly did not think he would put underwear on.

Let's go sit down as a family at the table.

[Jo] so far, we've got him in underwear.

I believe that if we can literally get him from underwear

To sitting on the toilet

Actually taking a pee,

Then we are really making progress.

♪♪♪

[Jo] dylan, come here for a minute.

I'm not gonna make you sit on the toilet.no.

I'm not gonna make you sit on it.

To get dylan another step closer to using the toilet,

I took him into the bathroom to explain this is where we go.

Mommy and daddy sit on this potty,

And their bottoms go here.

But if daddy tried to sit on this one, it's too small.

But it will fit your bottom.

If you want to, you can go on this one,

Or you can go on this one. But you must go on the potty,

Not in your pants,

'Cause you're a big boy now, and big boys go in the potty.

♪♪♪

Now that we'd established where you go for a pee,

We just had to hang out and wait until dylan needed to go

So that dad would have a chance to perform that step.

Dylan started to grab at himself, so I took dylan

To the potty and put him down,

And he started having a little bit of a fit.[Crying]

Mm-hmm.

Just let it go.[Shrieks, crying]

Let it go.

Dylan was fighting it tooth and nail.

He didn't want to just let go and go for a pee.

And so I had dad refocus him so that he could relax

Why don't you just go?[Crying]

What I think I'd like you to do as well is to sit him

On that big potty like that and then talk to him

About something else. If he starts to scream,

Just very casually say, "no screaming. Listen to daddy,

'Cause daddy wants to tell you a story."It's really about being low-key.

We shouldn't be making a big fuss about this.

It's about him just being in a place

Where he feels comfortable enough to sit on the toilet

And do what every other one of his family members does.

Do you want to hear my story?[Dylan cries]

So the big boat had a big elephant in it,

And they sailed all the way across the ocean.

And then they came into port,

And there was all little houses on the hills,

And you could see people running and playing,

And a little boy just like you and a little girl

Like your sister came up to the dock,

Because their daddy bought 'em a big elephant.

I could see that that was actually having

A really good response with dylan.

He started to quiet him down.

And they walked it up the hill,

And every time the elephant stepped like this,

The bow went... [Imitates thumping]

[Dylan laughs]and it looked-- with its happy face,

It was like... [Laughs goofily]within a few seconds he was totally distracted

From holding back, and the next thing we know,

He's peeing in the potty.did you pee? Let's check it out.

Actually, you... Did pee.

To see it work,

It felt really good, I think, for both of us.

Do you feel a little better? Does your tummy feel better?

Kevin did an absolutely excellent job.

It was a real big breakthrough.

I'm leaving you for several days

To continue with what we've started.

The dinner thing-- it's gonna be a little hard,

To not be able to say, "you know what?

Just make some nuggets for him and let him eat 'em,"

Because no one's here to say no.continue with the potty sitting down.

I'm afraid that I'm gonna slip on something.

I think the potty training's gonna be really tough.

Aw. Lots of love for jo jo. Lots of love for you.[Speaks indistinctly]

We're the ones doing it now.emma, come give me a kiss because I'm going now.

Okay, good night, darling. Mm.mwah!

This is our chance to show we're serious.

I don't think we need to fail.

I really hope that mom and dad step up with this program,

Because if they don't, they've got real trouble on their hands.

♪♪♪

Coming up on...

If you kick me again, you get a time out.

With jo gone, dylan takes a turn for the worse.[Gasps]

And later, dylan freaks out at potty time.

Let's go potty first, and then we'll come back and do legos.[Shrieks] no!

Come on.no! No!

When "supernanny" returns.

And now...

What's one good way to get your child eating vegetables--

"A," hide them in other food,

"B," make them eat all of their vegetables on their plate

Or else no dessert,

"C," be mindful as a parent that trying and eating new veggies

In front of them sets a really good example.

Find out the answer when we return.

And now...

What's one good way to get your child eating vegetables?

"A," hide them in other food,

"B," make them eat all of their vegetables on their plate

Or else no dessert,

"C," be mindful as a parent that trying and eating new veggies

In front of them sets a really good example.

The answer is "c."

Even if they only try a few bites the first time,

Children learn by example. Monkey see, monkey do.

So remember, everyone needs their fruits and veg.

Why don't you try a new one today?

♪♪♪

Ready?

No. Not really.

I'm really worried about when jo sees the dvd.

There's always things she sees

That we don't always notice ourselves.

Are we ready to take a look?yes.

Yeah? So let's take a look at your time out, jessica,

See if we can pick up any pointers here.

[Kevin] hey, d. Unh-unh.[Coughing]

Look at me. If you kick me again...tickle doesn't mean fight.

You get a time-out. Look at me. Okay?[Speaks indistinctly]

Nice.

[Gasps]

You need to go sit in a time out. Let's go.[Squeals]

You touch me with that, you're in a time out, too.

Touch.okay. Well, I don't think that was funny,

So we got two time outs.aah.

Sit here for six minutes.

Emmy, you're taking time out with me! [Laughs]

Hey![Snaps fingers]

You look at each other, you get three and six more minutes.

How could they not look at each other?[Both laugh]

How could they not look at each other?

It's like telling me not to look at you both now.

You're right there. How can I not look at you?

No, it was one of those needs to say something

'Cause I was frustrated.it's not about using your authority

To control the child, you know?

It's not to get them to do everything through the control

And fear that there's gonna be a time out.right.

Your time out is over.

Do you know why you were in a time out?

Because you kicked me, and I told you not to kick me.

Well, i-i-i fall down to you.

Okay, well, that wasn't nice. So what do you say?

Sorry.okay.

Give me a hug.

Do you know why you were in your time out?

'Cause I touched you while you were... [Speaks indistinctly]why you're in time out?

Okay. And what do you say?i'm very sorry.

Okay. I love you.all right. Very sincere there.

Both the kids knew. I mean, you followed it through.right.

But time outs are for serious things...right.

So that these kids realize that there's a boundary in place,

And we're teaching them right and wrong, so if now

He's just doing things that just what every other kid would do...right.

And he's getting a time out for it, how does it make the things

That he's really doing wrong, of value, significant?right.

So let's take a look at dinner.and then we want to stick a tomato on there.

Okay. See how pretty those are?

These look pretty good.

I want corncob![Jessica] let's eat our kabobs first, okay?

You have a bite of this,

And then you will get your corn.aah!

Is that good?[Kevin] mmm. That's really good, huh?

Pineapple, zucchini, ribs...

Corn.corn--you did really good.

You've made it fun.

He's eating foods that contain iron.

[Jessica] yes.he's eating more variety of foods...

Yeah.the correct proportion when he is eating in those mealtimes.

Absolutely. This is the biggest...

There's a big difference. He's not nibbling.

He's actually eating.you know? But I need to see more praise that's detailed.

"I am really pleased with the fact that

"You ate some chicken, you ate some spare ribs,

You ate some corn." So be more detailed in your praise.

So let's take a look at dylan's pee, as such.

Don't put your hands on your weiner.

Just let it go.

[Crying]

Yeah. Yeah, don't-- there you go.

Oh, yeah!your pee's coming.

Lookit.

Doesn't that feel good?

Doesn't that feel good?

That's a lot of pee. Do you feel better?

Well, I bet you feel better. Good.

Are you done?

I knew it.

Look at it. It's fabulous.

It's just pee coming out of your weiner.

Yay!that's four times today. You're a big boy now.

Love it. Love it.

What was lovely to see here was your whole attitude.

You know, you weren't getting angry.

It's like hey, go for a pee-pee.

Now that he has successfully gone,

We need to start shortening now the steps of how he goes.

Because otherwise we're gonna start to be sitting

In that bathroom for ten minutes...

Mm-hmm.giving him a whole showdown of a big story.

Right.we gonna have to start putting a plan in place

That allows us just to take it to the next level

When it comes to the pee in the potty.

So there's more stuff for us to do in a very positive way

In just being able to build and move on with the praise

And certainly planning a little bit more now on the potty.

So in saying that,

I'm gonna say let's get cracking on and do some more.all right.

All right, thank you.thank you.

Coming up on...

Dylan has a panic att*ck on the potty...

Here you go. Hey.[Hyperventilating]

Will he ever go again?let's go potty first, and then we'll come back and do legos.

[Shrieks] no!come on.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪

Before I leave, I want to teach mom and dad

How to get dylan to go to the bathroom

But minimize the amount of time

That they actually spendwithhim when he's going.

Kevin, move it on from that "let's tell a whole big story

Whilst you're sitting on the toilet."

Sure, where it's fun time, almost.

Correct. But...and it's kind of, yeah, it's turning into that, yeah.

You see how that was an important shift for you to do

When he was trying in the beginning...yeah.

And now we can just move on from that.yeah.

[Jo] and then dad got a chance to give it a try.

Let's go potty first, and then we'll come back and do legos.

[Shrieks] no! No! [Crying]come on. [Speaks indistinctly] come here. And settle down,

'Cause we do this all the time now.

Come on. 'Cause you're a big boy.

Ooh!potty!

I sat dylan down, and to be completely honest,

I was a little worried about it.

There you go. Not a big deal.[Hyperventilating]

Let's just hang out and go potty, okay?[Grunts]

For a minute, we get him off the subject of potty.

What's your favorite truck?mack!

And while I was going off the subject, he peed.

Bubbles!bubbles? Yeah.

Pee-pee bubbles.are you all done? Do you want to wipe?

It's amazing to think

A week ago, dylan wouldn't come out of a diaper

Without throwing a huge fit.

And now he's sitting on the potty, and he's going pee.

[Toilet flushes]right on. Let's go play legos.

Dylan needed less attention from dad this time around,

And it just goes to show you that he's getting used

To going to the bathroom on his own and just releasing

And taking a good ol' pee.

Boom![Jessica laughs]

♪♪♪

I noticed on the dvd that mom and dad don't really give

The kids a lot of praise for things that they do.

And so I wanted to give this family

A little something special that would initiate this process.

That's the magic phoenix. It does nothing but deliver praise.

This phoenix has feathers,

And some of these feathers you can pull and actually write on.

So I asked mom and dad to write something

That would praise each child on the feather,

And then tell a magical story

About how mr. Phoenix came to their home.

[Kevin] hey!

There is a bird called a phoenix...

[Dylan squeals]and it comes to children who have done good deeds.

There's feathers, and you can take the feather,

And it has something written on the feather

That's gonna be very special.

Do you want to look?dylan, do you think there's a bird in the backyard?

Want to look for a bird?should we go look?

See if there's a big, bright, colorful bird.come on.

[Jo] do you think it'll be here? Look around.look everywhere, all around.

[Kevin] I thought maybe he'd be up in this tree, but no.you gotta look everywhere.

Hey, what's that?whoa! What's that?

What's that, d.?is that the bird?

[Screams] yeah!oh, wow!

Emma absolutely loved it. She was so thrilled to see it.

What's this?does it have any special feathers?

What's it say?

"Very good job on..."[Speaks indistinctly]

Shh. Hold on."Remembering your m..."

[Squeals]stop it.

"Manners.""Manners."

Oh, my god! What do you think that was for?whoa!

Have you been using your manners? Yeah?well, here, keep it then.

Well, that must be for you!it was magical, I mean, to watch my own daughter's face

And to feel the emotion she had over this thing.

Oh, here's another one. It's smaller.

There's a feather for you, dylan.

It's smaller. You think maybe it's for dylan?

[Emma] yep."Great job on going potty."

Whoo! Good job!yay! Do you want to keep the feather?

The fact that these kids have been acknowledged

For potty training and for using their manners

Is just gonna give 'em good incentive to carry on doing so.

To watch their eyes light up, it's amazing,

Because they're like, "wow, what did I do right?"

And then they want to keep doing that, because this is fun.

"I'm getting not only encouragement from my parents,

But I'm having these special things,"

And it's-- it's wonderful for them.again--yeah.

Tomorrow after school I'm gonna come out and get my feather

And read it.[Kevin] sounds like a plan to me.

[Jo] whoo!we're definitely gonna use the phoenix. I really love it.

My work's done.

It's time for me to leave now.

I really hope that this family have taken everything

That I've been able to give them

So they can become more confident parents.

Look out for the phoenix, okay?

Bye-bye, jo jo.dylan, give me a high five.

Okay. Bye-bye, dylan.

The future's looking pretty good for the van ackers.keep in touch, okay?

Okay.i feel confident and comfortable with the tools she's given me.

So I'm ready to start our family over

In a positive way.hey, nice work, yeah?

Right on.you did some really good work.

Thank you.i really feel confident in myself and my wife

To be good parents and lead our kids in the right direction,

Because this is what having a family's about.[Jessica] bye. Love you.

Bye-bye. Take care. Bye-bye.[Kevin] bye, jo. Thank you.

If you can work with a family that feel that there's no hope

And at the end of it realize that actually

There's every hope, then you know that you're gonna leave

A family a lot more content,

And actually, tomorrow's gonna be a better day for them.

♪♪♪