01x08 - Mozart with the Bacon

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [piano playing]

f*ck her.

f*ck her.

[chuckles]

Oh...

[laughing]

Oh...

I don't understand.

I don't...

But can't I even go out to play with my friends?

Stay with it.

Go back further.

I don't want to practice anymore!

Mommy!

Shh...

Okay.

[grunts]

We're going to come back now.

Slowly.

[grunts]

Three, two, one.

[gong sounds]

I'm proud of you, Winslow.

Well, we're chipping away at it.

I think we made some progress.

Two tickets to my performance the opening night of the season.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Woman: Winslow Elliott is the absolute greatest pianist in the world, and you want me to fire him?

No. No, no. I never said fire him.

I said, let's postpone his performance for another time.

It happens. Happens, happens.

Bullshit!

I had to beg Winslow Elliott to do this.

No one wants to work with you, because you keep changing the program.

They all think you're insane, and they're right.

I'm not...

Ow. I'm not insane.

You look insane.

Your face looks crazy.

You're gonna scare the audience right out of their seats.

You're talking about my face?

I'm talking about the truth, and you're talking about my face?

My face!

Posters, ads, billboards!

They all say "Winslow Elliott plays Rachmaninoff."

Yes, but it also says Rodrigo.

And Rodrigo, and Rod... Rodrigo! It's full of Rodrigo!

Rodrigo is what they're gonna get.

Doing what, playing the harmonica?

I don't know. I don't know yet.

That creep, Ivan, was right.

[muttering]

I never should have let Thomas go.

Hey, no, Gloria, no, no, no.

Please, please, okay, okay, okay.

Look into my eyes.

I accepted this job, because I listened to my blood.

I'm gonna find the piece.

Believe in me.

I do believe in you.

Oh, God help me, I'm going down with the ship.

And, you know, Winslow Elliott, you know, he's a professional.

He'll understand.

You don't know Winslow Elliott.

[knocking on door]

[sighs]

Come in.

[door opens]

Ms. Windsor, this came for you.

It's from Thomas's wife.

I guess these are instructions.

Instructions?

You're late.

No. I'm not. It's 6:30. I'm on time.

Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.

You have the check?

Yes.

Come in.

Let's get started.

Turn to page 16, please.

Are you embarrassed to play it?

Was it more embarrassing than dropping your oboe and shouting m*therf*cker in front of the whole orchestra?

No, that was very embarrassing.

Play it.

♪♪

[dialing]

Hi.

Yeah, it's me. Yes.

Yes, of course, I'm sure.

I hate New Jersey for that exact reason. Hey!

Stop articulating with the back of your throat.

Yes, a new student. God help me.

** [stops]

** [resumes]

I know.

Norman...

♪♪ [continues]

Get your tongue off the roof of your mouth, for Christ's sake.

Yeah, you should see this girl's reeds.

They're atrocious. [laughs]

I know! Exactly!

"Dear Gloria and Cynthia, thank you so much for reading this humble letter. The contents are of great importance to us."

Keep going.

"Cynthia, you cheap, two-bit, home-wrecking slut... "

These are her words, not my words.

Understood.

"Your only redeeming quality is that you have satisfied the animal urges which Thomas daily tried to impose upon me. And Gloria, you deceitful, power-hungry bitch... You are perhaps worse. You betrayed the man who in each in our own way we care deeply for."

"Thomas is in Cuba.

He ran out of his medication two weeks ago.

Yesterday, he telegrammed demanding a divorce.

I believe that he is having a full-blown breakdown and must be brought home to receive medical care.

I am unable to do this for obvious reasons.

Perhaps, you, Cynthia, with your courtesan ways, could prevail upon him.

Sincerely, Claire Pembridge."

sh*t.

sh*t, indeed.

Male voice: No excuses! Keep going!

Male voice: Faster!

Oh, f*ck you!

Harder!

f*ck you.

Keep going!

At it again.

What is all that?

Bunch of get-well stuff for Rodrigo.

I thought it was from Alex.

Nope. We're not talking about that.

Male voice: No excuses!

Whoa, this one's actually for me.

Plank in three, two, one!

Oh, f*ck.

How much longer is this?

You mean your five-minute workout?

Yes.

Stay strong!

"Teach me, show me, promise not to waste your time. Call me. Marlon."

I'm confused. Does he mean "call me Marlon," or "call me, Marlon"?

Holy sh*t.

What?

It's a check for $1,000 for two oboe lessons.

Lunges!

I can't accept this.

Go!

Why not?

Teach him, show him.

Yes!

Call him Marlon.

Let me see that.

You've got this!

You're right, you're right.

I should teach him and show him and call him Marlon.

Let's cash this sh*t today.

You are a warrior!

Go out and own your day!

Hi, may I speak with Mr. Guggenheim?

[footsteps]

[footsteps]

You know what that means?

A duel?

No, that means a slap in the face, just like what you did to me.

Maestro, do you know what it's like to feel the kind of humiliation that makes you wanna run away from home and go hide in a neighbor's closet and bury your face in the warmth and the darkness of the sweaters and the coats and the dresses on hangers?

Yes, but no.

Mr. Elliott, I idolize you. I grew up with your music.

Your Rachmaninoff No. 3 is immense. I can only apologize...

I don't want your apology. I want an explanation, a reason.

Why was I dismissed like this?

Why have you disgraced me so violently?

And what am I going to tell my mother?

She was really looking forward to coming here.

And you of all people should understand what goes into this.

The preparation, the... the endurance, iron weights.

[vocalizing]

Now give me that reason.

I only follow my intuition.

I listen to my heart.

Your heart?

Yes.

You don't have the courage to know your heart.

You change your mind at every turn.

And each day, you drag more and more people into the vortex of your own confusion.

I think you need to examine yourself.

Know thyself!

To thine own self be true.

I can see it so clearly now.

You need the truth even more than I do.

But I'm a little bit grown up.

Am I too late?

You're never too late.

We have nothing but time.

What are you doing?

We're going back into your subconscious. That is, if you'll permit me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. Take me with you... into myself.

You're safe now.

You're going to go back.

Slowly.

I hear music.

♪♪ [Cuban music]

[kids shouting]

[kids laughing, shouting]

[both speak Spanish]

Pembridge.

White hair.

[speaks Spanish]

Is he staying here? Thomas Pembridge.

[speaks Spanish]

Big blue eye?

Sí, sí.

The fisherman beach.

Getting crazy.

Fisherman's Beach. Okay.

Gracias.

Here you go.

Take care.

Well, I promise to be a good student, teacher.

This is the one that I got. Is it any good?

A Lorée Royal 125?

Are you kidding me? This is my dream axe.

Oh, good.

You even went for the gold keys.

Sure, 'cause it's gold. It's the best, I guess.

Congratulations.

You have decided to learn a member of the double-reed family.

The oboe first appeared in the mid 17th century and was originally called the hautbois.

[chuckles]

Your accent is parfait.

Merci.

So you want to ease it in. You never wanna force it or go too fast. Okay.

The most important thing about the oboe that makes it so magical is the reed.

This will make or break you.

It's just a little piece of wood.

Oh, it's so much more than that.

Try it.

[blows tone]

You're a natural.

How come you're smiling?

I love how much you know about the oboe.

It's amazing.

I'm putty in your hands.

[labored breathing]

[footsteps echoing]

[violin playing distantly]

[stopwatch ticking]

[metronome clicking]

[faintly] I only follow my intuition. I listen to my heart.

Man whispers: Sibelius.

[laughing]

[violin playing]

[woman moaning]

[woman laughing]

[heart b*ating]

No.

Anna Maria.

[tape reversing]

Whoa.

What happened?

[gasping]

You're not supposed to come back by yourself. I'm supposed to bring you back.

Well...

Well, what happened?

You folded inside yourself.

You said a lot of powerful things.

They were mostly in Spanish, but I got the gist.

You kept mentioning a name... a woman.

Yes.

She was your mother?

No.

No?

Are you sure? It usually is.

Try to remember.

It's such an important detail.

Anna Maria.

Anna Maria has to play the Sibelius violin concerto.

Sibelius violin concerto?

Yes.

Yes, I heard it clearly through an old loudspeaker.

Oh, Mr. Winslow Elliott, you've played me like a symphonic poem.

I'm forever in your debt once again, once again.

Thank you.

Oh!

I think we've made some progress.

[blows tone]

Good, good.

[continues]

Really good.

I'm terrible.

I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

There's really nothing to be embarrassed about. You know, nobody is good their first time.

You just have to remember to loosen up.

And focus on your breathing.

Make sure your breathing is coming from, like, right here.

[deep breath]

You're very nurturing.

[chuckles]

I think this is a bad idea, though.

Don't be ridiculous.

You are inventing yourself, and I am here to guide you through that process.

Just, um, soak your reed, and make sure it's wet.

I'm not sure it's wet enough.

And then what?

And then get ready to make some beautiful music.

I am ready.

[chuckles]

Good.

I'm gonna use the bathroom first.

Yeah, of course.

Great. Where is it?

It's just back thereto the left.

Okay.

Yeah.

This way?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

[gargling]

[spits]

[shower running]

[Marlon scatting]

Are the cops here?

The cops? What are you talking about?

Where is he? What the f*ck is going on?

Honestly, I have no idea.

This his coat?

Okay, whoa, whoa.

Will you please slow down and explain what is going on.

Two phones. He's got two phones.

That check? Good luck cashing it, because it's counterfeit.

I spoke with my mom. There are no Guggenheims in Connecticut.

What?

Okay, you cannot just go through Marlon's sh*t.

Yes, I can, because it's not Marlon's sh*t.

Nor is it Xavier Roseau's sh*t.

Nor is it Marlon Suleiman's sh*t.

What are you saying?

What I'm saying is that there is an imposter in our bathroom taking a shower for some reason.

Marlon: Ah, Hailey, your water pressure's amazing!

m*therf*cker.

You better have some...

Oh, my God!

[stammering]

I clearly misread the signals.

What the f*ck?

Oh, dear.

Yeah, the gig is up.

We know who you aren't.

Okay.

Well, whatever you think you know, I can explain it.

Hailey, if you would ask your friend with the broom to leave, we could just...

No!

She stays! You, Marlon, or whatever the f*ck your name is, you go!

Okay.

Take your time. The cops will be here in about four minutes.

You know what? You have no manners.

Yeah, calm down. Shh.

All right? Don't do anything you'd be ashamed of.

I'm not the one hiding my penis under an oboe.

I needed to leave something to the imagination.

Go!

Shh!

You're just embarrassing yourself now.

I have to say good night to my hostess.

Hailey, I know you can't believe anything I could say right now, so...

Did you really wanna learn the oboe?

Or was this all just about...

No, I did. I wanted to learn the oboe, but I learned this thing's insane, and no one can play it.

Well, you can.

Take it.

For the mother ship.

For real?

Gold keys.

Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

Yep. Thanks.

Thank you.

♪♪ [Latin music]

[men singing in Spanish]

Man: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo!

[shouts in Spanish]

Yeah!

Thanks.

Cynthia, darling, what the f*ck are you doing here?

All right, don't answer that.

Hey, guys! Hey, guys, this is Cynthia. I was telling you, this is the greatest cellist in New York City.

She could have had a major solo career, but she decided just to walk away.

But it's not too late.

It's never too late.

Thomas, I'd like to speak with you [whistles] in private.

Yo! Yo! Huh?

In private.

You must be exhausted.

Thomas?

Yeah. Thank you.

Gracias. Gracias.

First we drinkie, then we talkie, huh?

Listen, I detoxed Manhattan out of my system.

No stress, ambition, noise.

No meaningless bullshit.

Gone!

You know my secret?

Coconut water. Here.

Just drink it quickly.

That way the vitamins won't evaporate.

I'm not thirsty.

Take it in one...

Can we go someplace else?

Darling, these are my boys.

There is no someplace else.

Okay.

Oh!

You're a f*cking assh*le.

You disappear. You don't call.

I don't know what the hell's happened to you.

I come down here, and you're playing the f*cking bongos?

[chuckles] You're a f*cking spitfire.

I fly home tonight.

You're a selfish prick.

Okay, guys, mama's just a little bit angry with papa.

So, uh... Hey, um...

[clears throat] Two coconuts to go.

Hang on there! Cynth!

Wow.

You finished it.

Tommy's been doing a little more than just b*ating on the bongos, baby.

After all these years.

You know, Cynth, I can't believe it.

Look, it just poured out of me.

I mean, you know it took me 10 years to write the overture.

Well, I came down here, and boom, I finished it in a week.

It was like a higher power was guiding my hand over the whole thing.

I don't know, Cynth, it's just this place. I just love it here.

This is great. It is.

But you know what goes up must come down.

Yes!

I thought we'd put that to the test before your flight.

[chuckles]

Oh, come on! It's a joke!

[Man shouting in Spanish]

Oh, shut up!

I had to put up with your prostitutas for the last two weeks!

Come here.

That assh*le.

Look. Look.

I came here to bring you back.

But here's the thing.

I'm not even sure who you are right now.

Claire gave me these for you.

Claire? Oh.

She means well, but this is shite.

Poison.

Just like the New York Symphony.

You gotta get out of there, Cynth, as soon as you can.

Why don't you stay here with me?

I would, but I'm allergic to coconuts.

Come home soon.

I don't care how many anti-bacterial micro-fungal pro sanitizers you use, you couldn't pay me to play that thing with my mouth.

Yeah, well, lucky for you, you don't know how to play.

Dry cloth?

Do you not feel, like, slightly odd about keeping it?

No, Marlon misused her, and it is my duty as a musician to look after her.

Wet wipes.

Her?

It's a girl.

Just have to find a name for her.

I was thinking Kimberly.

♪♪

Do you like the Mozart?

Oh, I kind of prefer the Bach.

Yeah?

I find it too salty.

Well, the Bach has the bacon which I like, but, of course, you can get the Mozart with the bacon.

That's a Salieri.

I have to thank you.

Well, shall we shake hands on it?

Are you... are you sure?

'Cause I heard that you don't like doing that kind of thing.

Oh, please. I don't know how these rumors get started.

We are gonna play together one day.

♪♪ [Latin guitar]

[singing in Spanish]