03x09 - McDowell Family

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: They're every
parent's worst nightmare.

MAN: Don't bite.

You're gonna be sorry.

[screaming]

NARRATOR: Kids completely
out of control.

WOMAN: Give me the Kn*fe.

I want to k*ll you!

NARRATOR: And taking
over the household.

[grunts]

Don't do that.

NARRATOR: These families have
reached the end of the rope.

supposed to know I was gonna

have three kids in two years?

NARRATOR: They're in
desperate need of help.


NARRATOR: They only have
one alternative left.

It's time to
contact "Nanny 911".

Hello.

This is Nanny 911.

NARRATOR: We've gathered a
team of world class nannies

from all over the globe.

Each week from Nanny
Central, they will watch

a video of a family in crisis--

Stop it.

[growls]

NARRATOR: --and decide which
nanny is best suited to help.

They will then have one week to
take our families from living

hell to a family bliss.

Give me my life back.

It's mine!

NARRATOR: Can these
families be saved?

Daddy and Mommy!

It's an emotional
roller coaster.

Unless you get
this right, it's

all going to fall to pieces.

If you think you can do a
better job, get on with it.

NARRATOR: Parents of
America, help is on the way.

Nanny's here.

Nanny's here!

NARRATOR: Tonight--

Ow!

NARRATOR: --for the McDowells--

There's no three strikes
because you don't hit people.

NARRATOR: --when the moon comes
up, the sons never go down.

They probably haven't had
eight hour sleep in two years.

Bedtime is stressful.

NARRATOR: Mom needs to
step up to the plate.

Don't write "I"
all the way down.

NARRATOR: And stop
running her mouth.

Talking, talking,
talking, nag, nag.

Oh, my god.

NARRATOR: While Dad's
out in left field.

You know what?

They're kids.

NARRATOR: If Mom and Dad
don't touch base soon,

this family is gonna strike out.

Ryan!

Clear the table.

NARRATOR: With
the bases loaded--

I'm so done.

NARRATOR: --can Nanny
Deb help this family

reach their field of dreams?

Their dynamic is volatile.

NARRATOR: It's a league of their
own, tonight on "Nanny 911".

[theme music]

[screaming]

[blows landing]

Oh, god!

I'm Eileen McDowell.

I'm 43 years old.

And I'm a secretary
and a caterer.

And I'm a mother of three boys.

Did you hit him on purpose?

Yeah.

Raising three boys is bedlam.

Kevin McDowell, 46 years
old, district sales manager

for a cookie company.

I'm used to managing people.

I'm not used to
managing children.

- Ow!
- Sorry.

I thought you were
gonna catch that.

Ryan is nine going on 15.

He's smart, got such a
great sense of humor.

[imitates blows]

I'm Ryan McDowell.

I'm nine years old, and I'm
the oldest boy in the house.

He definitely
has a mouth on him.

He just doesn't
respect what we say.

Just clear the table, Ryan.

Ryan, clear the table!

Ryan, you're really
pushing my buttons.

I push my mom's
buttons constantly.

He doesn't know when to stop.

He thinks it's funny
to push it to the point

where she's gonna scream.

He's a pain in
my you know what.

[screams]

Michael is our middle child.

He's five.

And they always say the
middle one always has issues.

Michael does have hissy fits.

Michael cries a lot.

He gets picked on by Ryan.

Stop!

[unintelligible screaming]

I just feel bad for Michael
because he's just so sensitive.

Christopher is
pretty much running

the house as a two-year-old.

He's a tough little kid.

He has an anger
management issue.

[groans]

[blow landing]

Christopher, why'd you hit him?

You can't hit.

[growls]

Christopher has
slept in his bed maybe,

I can count a handful of times.

[screams]

When he doesn't
want to go to bed,

he doesn't want to go to bed.

Daddy loves you.

Last time I slept in my bed
with just my wife and myself,

it's been probably two years.

[yells]

Come here, come
here, come here.

The favorite word in
this house is shut up.

- Shut up.
- Shut up!

Shut.
Up.

When they're fresh,
they're very fresh.

- Mom!
- What?

Somebody always winds up
getting an elbow in the eye

or a foot in the face.

I am worried 70% of the time
that they're gonna get hurt.

Someone's gonna end up hurt.
You know that.

Eileen's a bit
of a control freak.

She'll snap at the kids.

Stop!
Michael.

People say oh, how many boys
do you have, all the time.

I say oh, four.

That includes my
husband in that.

I love to see
my boys wrestling.

And I pretty much encourage
it, a lot of times.

I love having boys.

EILEEN: I said,
get off the couch.

[chuckles]

It's them against me.

Did you do your chores?

Yes.

They cleaned their
room, vacuumed.

I don't want to say the word
nag, but she'll consistently,

did you do that, did you
do that, did you do that,

did you do that?
You know what?

They're kids.

I don't think they
need to be yelled at.

Oh, my God!

What's the problem?
I'm always yelling.

And he says, you
can't yell at them.

They're just boys.
Get off of her.

You got it?

Stop being obnoxious.

Our hours are different.

Kevin works during the
week, and I work nights.

And when I'm at work,
Kevin lets the chaos flow.

She's gonna k*ll us.

Coming home to
bedlam is stressful.

I found my Hummel that you
guys broke from playing ball.

And I so don't appreciate this.

When my wife walks in
from a 12 hour shift,

it gets pretty bad sometimes.

See, that just
annoys me right now.

Do not hit anybody
with that shovel.

Do you understand?

We do argue.

Do you know how many times
you've apologized today?

- Well, you know what?
- No, no, no.

Do you know how many times--
- Well, you know what?

I asked him to do it.

Would you please let him?

It's a stressful situation.

EILEEN: Mike, are
you kidding me?

My blood pressure
has gone up 10 or 15

points over the last two years.

He's stressed.

He's mad.

And it just gets hectic.

[yells]

Oh my god, it's like a three
ring circus in this house.

[screaming and crying]

At the end of each day,
I'm pretty exhausted.

I'll throw my hands up.

I've had it with them.
- I'm done.

I'm tired and I'm
stressed. (VOICE BREAKING)

I'm at my wit's end.

[music playing]

[screaming]

Good job, Chris.

So what do you think, ladies?

These parents aren't
on the same team.

They're not even in
the same ballpark.

And mom seems
to be quite a nag.

She needs to learn
to pick her battles.

And talking of
battles, they're all far

too rough with each other.

Every point needs
a lot of attention.

Thank you so much.

Deb, your organized approach
is just what this family needs.

I'm sending you into New
City to straighten them out.

[music playing]

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
As I see it,

the McDowell family is
falling apart at the seams.

Get Ryan.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Overwhelmed Mom

nags her children
morning, noon, and night.

I said your name three times.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
While cookie maker Dad

is too busy roughhousing
to enforce the rules.

[yelling]

I hope I can help this family
learn how to play as a team

before it falls apart.

These parents aren't
on the same team.

They aren't even in
the same ballpark.

[knocking]

[music playing]

Hey.

Hello!

How are you?

Nice to meet you.

How are you?

Good, good.

Come on and see the family.

Thank you.

We're happy to see her.

The kids are excited.

But I think they might be a
little intimidated at first.

OK, well today,
you're gonna see me

walking around the house a lot.

And I'm going to be
writing things down.

When Nanny came
into the house today

and she brought that black
book out, I was like--

[sighs] is it going to be
filled with pages of me?

You have to pretend
I'm invisible.

Nanny Deb, she could
be nice, strict, boring.

And I'm just gonna be--

Ryan and I can be like this.

I'm not glad that
they called "Nanny 911".

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Straight away,

Mom is taking breakfast orders
for her three rowdy boys.

I want waffles.

There's only a little waffles
and a little bacon left.

So eat what we can eat.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
And right away, Ryan

starts scrambling Mom's nerves.

Will you shut your
schmucky mushrooms up?

Stop.

That's annoying.

Ryan sometimes irritates me.

Get your fork out of my face.

Michael gets on my nerves.

He's a pest sometimes.

You want cereal?

What do you want?

Christopher wants nothing?

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Slowly,
Mom's blood starts to boil.

You can talk and eat
at the same time, buddy.

Let's go.

Mike, hold the fork right.

Over here.
[clicks tongue]

MIKE: Yeah, yeah.

I do find myself as a nag.

I do.

I'm sick of listening
to myself sometimes.

Christopher, get
away from the table

if you're not going to
sit in the chair normal.

Be gone.

If you're not gonna sit in
the chair, you need to go sit.

[crying]

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
And before you know it,

breakfast is toast.

Later, I saw something I
rarely see in any household.

You know what
you're supposed to do.

What?

What are you and Michael
supposed to bring down for me?

Aye-yi-yi.

EILEEN: You're gonna bring
down the laundry today for me.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
The kids actually

participate in their chores.

What a pleasant surprise.

Hold on.

[grunts]

Michael, every piece of
clothes that drops, get it.

Yeah, that's your job.

Yeah, I know.

Got it.

Chores are OK.

I think it's a little harsh.

Get that-- get that
what fell down behind you.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Then,
instead of thanking the boys,

Mom searched the room for
things they had missed.

They don't do things on
the first time they're told.

They have to be told and
told and told and told.

I knew it.

OK.

Look.

Look what I found.

This was in front
of Daddy's dresser.

It's a fine line
between keeping the peace

and getting the chores done.

Where if it's not done 100%,
she'll snap at the kids.

You've carried
heavier, haven't you?

Well, I did--
down the stairs, I

thought maybe it would be a
good idea if I gave them a hand.

They almost fell, anyway.

Well, that's why the both
of them do it together.

Yeah, but they don't
have a good grasp on it.

That's all.
- Oh, my god.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
And before you know it,

Mom and Dad are airing
their dirty laundry

right in front of the kids.

Later in the day, Mom
is still pestering

Ryan about the laundry.

Ryan, there's another
laundry basket downstairs.

Stop!

I asked you to take
the socks and put

them in the laundry basket.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Meanwhile, Dad

has had enough of the
chores, and encourages

the boys to wrestle.

Michael, get Ryan.

They wrestle, and they--

they rumble, and they fight.

And he should be
settling them down,

and he hates to hear that.

Yeah!

Yeah.

I think that's part of
having kids is getting

down and playing with them.

That's what I love about it.

Michael, someone's
gonna end up hurt.

You know that.

All right, all right.

It really doesn't stop
until someone gets hurt.

I go first.

Ryan.

Why did you push him?

- I didn't push him.
- Ryan--

RYAN: I didn't push him!

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): All
the kids were wrestling,

but Ryan was the
only one in trouble.

Ryan, you think it's funny?

One free sh*t.
EILEEN: One free sh*t.

Too bad, Mike.
One free sh*t.

Listen to me.

You can give him one free sh*t.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): When the
roughhousing leads to Michael

getting hurt, the
parent solution is

for Michael to hit Ryan back.

He's going to get you back.

What don't you get?

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): This is
one of the strangest examples

of parenting I've ever seen.

Michael, you had your chance
to give him the one sh*t.

You don't give it to
him 10 minutes later.

When we say do it, do it.

I mean, I can't even
put it into words.

It's just shocking.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Later on,
it was homework time for Ryan.

And I began to notice a
definite pattern emerging.

Write it across and read it.

Because that annoys me.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Eileen
is much tougher on Ryan

than the other kids.

This is neat.

These three are neat.

I don't like that,
and I don't like that.

Talking, talking,
talking, nag, nag.

Oh, my god.

Now, an extra line
because I don't like that.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Mom just won't let up.

There's no positive
reinforcement, only negative.

Like, how do you
make him listen to you?

He just doesn't
respect what we say.

So if these don't
improve, then you're

gonna start a whole new page.

Mom, I got a back
up pen just in case.

EILEEN: Ryan, you could
write in your blood.

Just get it done.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
By bedtime, I thought

I had seen the worst of it.

EILEEN: I love you.

MIKE: Dad.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): But the
trouble was just beginning.

[screaming]

Bedtime is stressful.

Daddy's gonna go to bed.

You go to bed in
here with Mommy.

[crying]

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
It's just ridiculous.

Bedtime in this household is--

Chaos.

Chris, get to bed.

Oh, give it up!

We have bedwetting issues.

go downstairs!

He does often say he has poo.

Wanna go downstairs!

Be quiet!

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): The kids
seem to know that they can melt

Dad's heart with a few tears.

[screaming]

When he screams
like that, it's

actually as if someone's
ripping my heart

out and showing it to you.

EILEEN: You're
defeating this purpose.

What do you want me to do?
You want me to--

EILEEN: We go through
this all the time.

The two of us cannot be in here.

I'll be up to check
on you in five minutes.

[crying]

I probably haven't had eight
hours sleep in two years.

Christopher, are you in bed?

No!

It's out of control.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
It's been a long night.

But I need to sit these
parents down and share

my thoughts with them.

So now it's quiet, I'm going
to steal a moment of your time.

I was like oh, my god.

We are in for it.

I'm going to start off
with a couple of main things.

The big thing I noticed is
that the way you guys discuss

and negotiate and deal
in front of the kids,

it really undermines what
she's saying to them.

And it really undermines what
he is when you guys do that.

KEVIN: I thought maybe
it'd be a good idea

if I gave them a hand.

They almost fell, anyway.

Well, that's why the both
of them do it together.

KEVIN: Yeah, but they don't
have a good grasp on it.

That's all.

Oh, my god.

The thing that I need
you guys to know this week

is that you have to
get on the same page.

Her way isn't working,
but neither is yours.

This is just ridiculous.

I also noticed that
you're very tough on Ryan.

And you know, he's
the first born.

And I'm a first born.

And you get that.

That's the-- that's the tough
part of being the first born.

Is that you know you
are in a situation

where a lot is expected of you.

EILEEN: Just clear
the table, Ryan.

Ryan, clear the table!

Ryan, you're really
pushing my button.

When Ryan pushes
my buttons, I just

actually want to go over
and just, like, haul off

and smack him.

The other thing that I
want to talk to you about

is the fact that
bedtime is bedlam.

I'm throwing my hands up.

Bedtime is a problem.

What do you want me to do?

You want me to--

I'll be up to check on
you in five minutes.

[crying]

It's like, you know, you
have no time to yourself.

You have no time to connect.

That's what happens
when you have kids.

I guess you don't get sleep.

It's going to help the two
of you be partners in a team.

I'd love just to have some--

some mom and dad time.

And the thing that
concerns me most

is that you don't
seem to be really

able to enjoy being
home with them

when you're home with them.

Because you're
nagging all day long.

By setting so many
rules and regulations

and things in place, you
are setting them up to fail.

Sorry.


You're just nagging.

But the thing is, I know
that that's not who you are.

But that voice in
their head is telling

them constantly that
what they're doing

is not good enough.

And they're never going
to be good enough.

And that's not the message
you want to convey.

When it becomes a chore and
a burden, it's a nightmare.

And I want to put the
fun back in it for you.

That was interesting
hearing Nanny say that.

And it bothered me a little bit.

If we all work well together,
we can make this work.

OK?
- Yep.

Sound good?

Yep.

All right, well, I'm gonna
let you get some sleep.

And I'm going to see
you in the morning.

Thank you very much.

All righty, I'll
see you later.

I'm a yeller.

And I don't want to
be a yeller anymore.

[music playing]

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
After a day of observation,

the problems in the
McDowell house are clear.

Good morning!

Morning, Nanny.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Mom's constant nagging

and Dad's childish behavior
are putting a damper

on this family's team spirit.

So today, I'm giving the
family their own set of rules.

See this book?

It's my nanny book.

I was nervous.

It's (MOCKINGLY) structure.

I think they need
some structure.

But I don't want their
day to be structured.

Three strikes, you're out.

Oh, come on.

That means Mommy's going to
tell you to do something once.

The second time is a warning.

The third time means you're out.

You have a consequence.

That makes me
nervous because I

have to tell him
to do something,

then I have to give
him a consequence.

They're also supposed to
listen, at the same time.

And then, this is
a very special rule

for the McDowell family.

Everyone sleeps
in their own bed.

Daddy's gonna go to bed.

You go to bed in
here with Mommy.

[screaming]

Putting Christopher
to bed is going to be

the Normandy Beach of D-day.

That's going to be the toughest
one, the crying and screaming.

Where are you gonna
sleep, Christopher?

That's where you're going
to sleep, in your bed, right?

Yes, Christopher
sleeps in his own bed.

The next rule is no nagging.

So Mom, that means
you need to start

picking your battles
instead of nagging

over every little thing.

Oh my god, that's
going to be an issue.

All the way down and
across, and don't write "I"

all the way down.

Mike, hold the fork right.

Christopher, get
away from the table.

It means instead of
constantly nagging you

about all different things,
Mom's going to pick the things

that she's gonna worry about.

She can't pick

She's gotta pick those three or
four that are real important.

Set the rules down here.

This is something special.

Look at that.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
I gave the McDowells

a chore chart, where
the boys earned

a baseball for each chore.

Now, if you have all
your baseballs in place,

you have all your privileges.

Oh, god.

Yeah, that would be a dream.

But we're in reality.

If we make a chart, it
lasts, like, two days.

If those chores are not
done, you lose a baseball.

Which means you
lose that privilege.

I think it's a little harsh.

Because I have all this to
do when I want to be out.

So let's get started.

Come on.

All the rules that Nanny
drew up on that piece of paper,

I think is going
to be challenging.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): With
the reward system in place,

I was pleased to see Ryan's
enthusiasm for doing chores.

Dishwasher.

You did a dishwasher, Ryan?

Yeah, I'm going to do my room.

This is dangerous.

I think it's important
for them to have chores,

but not too much.

Oh my gosh, I can
see the floor in here.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
I wondered

if Michael and Christopher
would also be motivated.

Oh, look at your bed!

Oh, my goodness.

Give me five.

Yeah!

Did you make your bed yet?

All right, come on then.

Let's go make your bed.

I'll help you.

One, two, three.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): The
chore chart was a success.

Here you go, buddy.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
By midday, all the boys

had earned their privileges.

Believe me, it's
never going to end good.

It's never going to end good.

We'll see.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): After
completing their chores,

the boys are hungry for lunch.

Ryan, a hot dog or peanut
butter and jelly sandwich?

Peanut butter and jelly.

- Sit down.
- Peanut butter.

Come on.
I'll get some ketchup.

Come on.

Mike, that's your
chair, and you know it.

No.

You guys, we had three peanut
butters in the refrigerator

the other day.

Where on Earth did they all go?

Into Ryan's throat.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
But when little Ryan

starts joking for
attention, Mom slips

right back into her old ways.

Michael, don't laugh at him.

Mom's being a nag again.

And I'm like, what?

Ryan, you're a gangster.

Not.

Michael.

Michael, could you start
just eating, please?

Yeah!

You know I hate that word.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
The problem

is, Ryan gets most of his
attention for negative behavior

for pushing Mom's buttons.

No more chances, that's it.

You are going
upstairs in your room.

And I'll put the timer on, and
you're going in for an hour.

Yeah, go upstairs, Ryan.
I'm not kidding.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
She didn't give a warning.

She just flew off the handle
for no apparent reason,

and sent him
straight to his room.

It's 59 minutes, go.

You're coming back when
the clock says zero.

You're going up for an hour.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Mom is clearly taking all

her frustrations out on Ryan.

There is nothing wrong in
kids being funny and having

a good time and being playful.

RYAN: OK, can I come down?

It's not party time, buddy.

I'm not-- I'm not partying.

Shut your radio off.

I'll-- I'll add back
to the clock your time.

RYAN: How long?

You're in a mood.

And I don't like it.

No, I'm not.

He pushes my
buttons until they go.

You're not getting
another chance.

You're not.
I'm done.

I'm done.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): I'm
really concerned about the way

Ryan and Mom interact.

And I need to find a way to help
them repair their relationship.

You're really annoying.

No, you're annoying
because you didn't listen.

You're annoying.

I'm not going to bed,
I can tell you that.

He just goes and
goes and goes and goes.

Just lay in it and think of
how obnoxious you've been.

And then, when the clock says

End of story.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): I'm
really concerned about the way

Ryan and Mom interact.

And I need to find a way to help
them repair their relationship.

[music playing]

[knocking]

Can I come in?

NANNY: Ryan, he's a very
mature nine-year-old.

And he has been almost like
a third parent in this family.

And I thought it was just really
important to get his input.

I wanted to ask you if there
are any things in the house

that you think should change, or
that you'd like to see change.

Mom stop being so strict.

You think your
Mom's too strict?

Just she's got to
have more patience.

Who do you think she's
strict with the most?

Me.

'Cause you're the oldest?

I know.

That's a tough job because
I'm the oldest, too.

And sometimes, we take up
a lot of slack for that.

And if there's
anything along the way,

I want you to be
able to feel like you

can talk to me about it.

OK.

- All right, deal?
- Deal.

Thanks.

Nanny Deb, she lets us finish.

Then, she talks.

I'm going to miss
Nanny Deb a lot.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): I'm
glad Ryan seems up to the task.

Now, to see how Mom is
doing with little Michael.

No, no, no, no.

Start here between the lines.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Right
away, Mom started nagging.

And down.

Listen to me, listen to me.

You're getting
frustrated, aren't you?

Blow your nose.

I don't have to
if I don't want to.

I asked you three
times to blow.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Mom started

nagging Michael to blow his
sniffling nose, but he refused.

Getting that
basketball removed.

You're definitely
down one chore, buddy.

- Please?
- Nope.

You're done with the games.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Eileen
was blowing this way out

of proportion.

KEVIN: Someone's in trouble?

She took it off for no reason!

I asked him three
times to blow his nose.

And then, let me--

So, you're gonna take
three stripes because you

didn't blow his nose?

I took one one thing off.

Blow your nose!

I think the three
strike rule can't

be in effect when somebody
is told to blow their nose,

they don't blow their nose.

Little tough, three strikes
for blowing your nose there.

No, I disagree.

He'd rather be their friend than
a parent and discipline him.

He just thinks, like,
whatever goes, goes.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
It was time

for me to have a chat with Mom
about how to pick your battles.

Save it.

Like, remember
pick your battles?

Blowing your nose is a battle.

Like, three strikes
you're out rule

is like, you're going to lose
your mind because that behavior

is escalating.

This is the deal with the nose.

I'm going to tell you
right now, I really think

you should blow your nose.

And then, you have to drop it.

She tries to make rules
out of things that

really don't need to be a rule.

You have to decide
what is the behavior

you're willing to fight over.

They have their chores in place.

Those are the things you need
to pick their battles about.

I just don't agree with Nanny.

I mean, I don't want soldiers.

But I just want
them to cooperate.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): It's
going to take some doing

to get these parents on board.

And now, we are faced with
another huge challenge--

bedtime.

You try putting him to bed
tonight, and see how it goes.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Dad has a really

hard time getting Christopher
to sleep in his own bed.

[screaming and growling]

Tonight, I'm not letting
him off the hook.

Even though I know--

It's going to
break his heart, what

he's going to have to go through
putting that baby to bed.

Good night.

NANNY: I explained
clearly to Dad,

we're going to put
Christopher to bed.

Give me kiss.

NANNY: Every time he comes out
of the room, he's to be marched

back in, saying good night.

No eye contact.

No cuddles.

No laying in bed.

No feeding into it.

Come on, come on.

Come on.

[crying]

Get back in here, come on.

I love you.

Chris, I'll come back.
- Just say here.

Just stay here,
don't say anything.

OK.

Come on, you've
got to go back in.

Come on.

[screaming and crying]

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): As
the back and forth continues,

it's clear that this is taking a
huge amount of emotional strain

from Dad.

[screaming]

Tore my heart out to
watch my son cry like that.

I don't want to be punishing
him every single night.

Shush!

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Mom eventually comes

upstairs, concerned by
the unyielding hysteria.

Yeah, stay here.

No, you stay.

You stay.

[agitated crying]

No, no, no.

It's all right.
He's all right.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): With
all the chaos and noise

in the house, no one even
notices that poor Ryan,

who has school in the
morning, cannot get to sleep.

Christopher gets out of hand.

He acts like he's psychotic.

I feel like I'm
letting him down.

You have to stick with this.

Because now if
you don't, you are

going to be letting him down.

I told Dad no one likes
to deal with this.

But your child wouldn't
have these issues

going to bed at night if
you hadn't created it.


Pick him up, and
take him back to bed.

KEVIN: I love you, I love you.

Come on.

It's k*lling him.

Kevin was just getting
redder and redder

and redder and redder.

And I knew he didn't really
want to hear it from Nanny.

I need to help Dad
understand that Christopher

was not tortured.

He was not scared.

How do I know
that I'm not doing

him some psychological
damage with him screaming

at the top of his lungs?

It's very hard for him.

But quite honestly,
it's harder for you.

But I totally disagree
with what the nanny said.

I think if your child is
crying, you should try to do

everything you can to stop him.


[screaming and crying]

Hey, quiet!

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Kevin continues

to struggle with getting
little Christopher to bed.

I fear he'll cave in.

And Chris will be back in his
parents' bed for the night.

Daddy is gonna be
right outside the room.

Nighttime is hell in my house.

[growling and screaming]

Aye carumba.

Once you start this
process, you must never stop.

Because otherwise,
you put your children

through this for nothing.

He's not-- he's not hurt.

He's supposed to be doing this.

He's testing to see wait, this
isn't what normally happens.

Let me see if I keep going,
are they gonna cr*ck?

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
I've done all I can.

It's time for Kevin
to go it alone.

Kevin has a short fuse.

But he knows he has to do it.

I'm right here, Chris.

I'm going nowhere.

Think there's gotta be a
point where you just say,

get in your bed,
stay in your bed.

And that's it.

OK, love you.

I'm going nowhere.

Christopher realized, this is
the way it's going to be now.

And as long as Kevin
stands outside that door

until Christopher goes to
sleep, all will be well.

That was really good.

He ended up just calling for
Dad a few times, no tears.

And was asleep in 15 minutes.

That was in the top
three hardest things

I've ever done in my life.

Go downstairs.

That nanny's a magician.

You did-- you did great.

And I know it was really
hard, especially for you.

It's hard to do it alone.

You need someone there
because that will break up

that tension and that anxiety.

Aw, that's nice.

Yeah.

I got both your backs.

Why, thank you.

It worked really, really well.

I actually slept.

And I didn't get disturbed.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): After
my success with Dad at bedtime,

it was time to turn my
attention back to Mom and Ryan.

Whee.

Ryan, start
clearing the table.

[yelling unintelligibly]

[music playing]

Ryan, don't.

Just put this in the garbage.

Ryan has a new thing called
the chicken dance now.

Chicken, chicken, chicken.

Toga, toga.

[giggling]

EILEEN: Clear the table!

Ryan knows how to
push Mom's buttons,

and he's very good at it.

You're annoying me.

Now, stop.

OK.

When children act
out and get attention

for negative behavior,
they're doing it

because they're not
getting enough attention

for positive behavior.

Is everything OK here?

He just goes
and goes and goes,

until I can't stand it anymore.

When she goes--

you need to stop,
because then she'll blow.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
But Ryan didn't stop.

He kept pushing
Mom until she just

wanted him out of her sight.

I don't even want
to hear him breathe.

He's a pain in my you know what.

RYAN: I'm not doing anything.

Yeah, you are doing
something, Ryan.

You're acting like
a complete clown.

Now, go upstairs.
RYAN: No.

KEVIN: Stop it now.

RYAN: OK.

He got sent to his room
to read as a punishment.

You have a choice.

I can't read two books, Mom.

You're reading
this for punishment.

I'm not reading any of them.

But you are, Ryan.

But I'm not.

Crying over reading, Ryan.

Shut up.

EILEEN: Ryan--

[whimpers]

To punish a kid by
reading is just shocking.

KEVIN: It's not the
end of the world, Ry.

You're coming down
in 10 minutes, Ryan.

Read about five pages already.

[mocking] Just shut up.

I'm like, guys, calm down.

Mom, what are you doing?

Yeah?

You're gonna end up doing a
book report if you keep this up.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Mom and Ryan

are always in this sad
game of who can win.

You don't imitate what I say.

Just read the book.

It's like a volcano
waiting to erupt.

It doesn't matter
if you reread it.

Reread it.

It doesn't matter!

Just read it.

I'm, like, always nagging.

And I can't stand it anymore.

Ryan!

I didn't say anything!

No, but you were gonna.

No, I wasn't!

I think that sometimes,
I'm just not a good mother.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): I
can't take any more of this.

I need to sit Ryan down
and have a heart to heart.

I want to talk to you
about this relationship

between you and your mom.

The two of you, the way you
guys relate to each other,

it's almost like
you're competitive.

I want to see that
change a bit, right?

I want to see Mom
getting a little bit

less competitive with you.

And I want to see you pushing
her buttons a little bit less.

I push my Mom's buttons--

[sighs] a little bit
too much, I think.

So, like, the whole chicken,
macaroni and cheese dance.

I was upset only because--

I don't know when to stop.

Yeah.

Only because you weren't
doing it to be funny.

You were doing it because
you knew it aggravated her.

Am I right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

A little bit.

She's working really
hard on not getting

aggravated by certain things.

And I want to see
you stepping up

to the plate, kind of realizing
when it's pushing her.

Right?

Usually when children
act out and get attention

for negative behavior,
they're doing it

because they're not
getting enough attention

for positive behavior.

So maybe I can have a talk with
your mom about spending time

alone, doing stuff with you.

What would you like
to do with your mom?

Go golfing.

You want to do that?

OK, so I'm going to give you
that little bit of homework

to do.

That is knowing when to stop
when you're getting her goat.

And I'm going to
tell her that that's

what I think you
guys should do, is

to have some one on one time.
- OK.

- Is that a deal?
- Yeah.

All right, shake hands.

Deal, cool.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
Now that I

know Ryan wants to spend time
with Mom, I need to make sure

Mom has time for Ryan.

When he pushes your buttons
is when you focus a lot on him.

His attention that he gets
from you is always negative.

The older child tends to take
on a lot of the responsibility

and get less of the reward.

So what will really
help for him is for you

and he to do things alone.

Now, I understand.

She was right.

We haven't done that in
a long, long, long time.

I'd like to see you
guys do that for a while.

Oh, I'd love that.

The alone time that
I'm gonna have with Mom

is going to be
much, much more fun

because I'm going to finally
get to spend some time with her.

So, are you excited?

Yep.

Yep.

Just me and you today.

Yep, yep, yep, yep!

I might as well grab it now.

Because at 15, he's not
gonna want to be with me.

Yes!

I got-- yeah, I only got four.

Wait a minute.

I gotta do my dance.

EILEEN: (LAUGHING) Oh, my gosh.

I like the reaction because
my Mom has gotten so much nicer.

She's not being a nag.

A much better sh*t.

Whoa!

He enjoyed the quality time.

And he is looking
forward to the next week

where we do our one on one.

[music playing]

Oh, nice sh*t!

Ryan seems a little more calmer.

He enjoys me not
nagging at him anymore.

He enjoyed the special time.

You had a good time?

Yep.

It's been great.

Cool.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): This
was a real breakthrough

for Mom and Ryan.

And as the days progressed,
I began to see things

take a turn for the better.

They all love sports.

Nice!

[music playing]

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Mom made
a real effort to stop nagging.

You can help.

Look at that smile.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): And in
turn, the kids began to listen.

- Good job.
- What a big boy, Christopher.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
And stop provoking

their parents and each other.

Give five for Nanny.

Yeah!

[yelling]

Ryan, you did a
nice job on your room.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
I was happy to see

Ryan getting the positive
attention he needs.

Great throw.

That's very neat, Ryan.

That's very nice.

Run, run, run.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): And
with bedtime more structured,

Mom and Dad are
beginning to find

the time they need to strengthen
their own relationship.

It's been a difficult
week, but a positive one.

But before I go, there's just
one last thing I need to see--

Mom and Dad working
together as a team.

They want extra baseballs?

Let them clear it.

Me and you are
gonna go sit down.

Let them do everything.

[music playing]

Do you want to have a cup
with milk and take a nappy?

Yeah.

I like this new and
improved side of you.

Why, thank you.

Thank us.

Thank her.

Pick and choose.

I shut the door a little.

Good job.


NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER): Now
that Mom and Dad have embraced

a new and better
way of doing things,

I can see that my
work here is done.

So the only thing left
to do is say goodbye.

NANNY DEB: Hello!

Hey, Nan.

EILEEN: Hello.

How are you?

How are you?

It was very hard saying
goodbye to the McDowell family.

Working so intensely on
changing this family's life,

you get very attached.

Nanny has to say goodbye.

Why?

Well, because you guys
have done such a good job.

And you've been so great.

There's some other kids
that I need to go help.

Nanny has definitely brought
a lot more love into this family

and a lot more peace
into this family.

Just remember, we're
all working, right?

We're all on the same team.

So we're all keeping
ourselves in check.

And sometimes, moms
need to reminder.

Sometimes, dads need a reminder.

And sometimes, kids
need a reminder.

I am really glad
just to have peace.

It's like 1,000 bricks have
been lifted off my shoulders.

It's not bedlam anymore.

And it's a beautiful feeling.

Michael, goodbye.

Thank you for all your help.

I'm extremely
proud of my boys,

that they could
accept what she said.

And now, I'm proud that
they're doing exactly what

they're supposed to be doing.

So proud of you.

have been awesome.

She basically saved us.

She did, she did.

She-- she just taught us
peace. (SOBBING) She helped us.

I'm not gonna cry.

Sir, thanks for
hanging in there.

Thanks for helping
me with my family.

And it's been a huge, huge
success for me and my family.

Now, we're on the same team.

We got the same goal.

And we're working together.

Thank you guys for having me.

EILEEN: Any time.

I'm gonna miss her because
she could be a big kid, big

grown up, a little bit of both.

Just remember, Nanny
is watching all the time.

And I'll see you again.

I'm going to say goodbye.

Future is very bright
for the McDowells.

Things are looking great.

NANNY DEB (VOICEOVER):
It's so important

that parents recognize the
positive in their children,

and don't always
focus on the negative.

The McDowells have learned
that lesson this week.

And if they continue to use
the tools I've given them,

their future will be a
bright and happy one.

Did you sleep in
your bed last night?

Yeah.

[cheering]

Yes?

Yes?

How are you doing today?

Good.

Did you sleep well?

Good.

You did a good job last night.

Daddy's very proud of you.

Do you feel proud of yourself?

Yeah?

Can you give me five?