03x14 - Keefer Family

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: They're every
parent's worst nightmare--

DAD: Don't bite.

You're going to be sorry.

NARRATOR: --kids
completely out of control--

MOM: Give me the Kn*fe.

I want to k*ll you!

NARRATOR: --and taking
over the household.

MOM: Don't do that.

NARRATOR: These families have
reached the end of the rope.

How was I supposed to
know it's going to have

three kids in two years?

NARRATOR: They're in
desperate need of help.

Shut up, everyone!

NARRATOR: They only have
one alternative left.

It's time to contact Nanny 911.

Hello, this is Nanny 911.

NARRATOR: We've gathered a
team of world class nannies

from all over the globe.

Each week, from Nanny
Central, they will watch

a video of a family in crisis.

Stop it.

NARRATOR: And decide which
nanny is best suited to help.

They will then have one week to
take our families from living

hell to a family bliss.

Give me my life back.

It's mine!

NARRATOR: Can these
families be saved?

I hate daddy and mommy.

It's an emotional
roller coaster.

Unless you get
this right, it's

all going to fall to pieces.

If you think you can do a
better job, get on with it.

NARRATOR: Parents of
America, help is on the way.

Nanny's here.

Nanny's here.

NARRATOR: Tonight,
life at the Keffer's

has reached rock bottom.

I feel like I'm fighting
a battle that I can't win.

NARRATOR: Mom never
shows her emotions--

It's difficult
for them to figure

out if she's angry or happy.

NARRATOR: --leaving her type-a
daughter angry and confused.

We filed on our taxes
her as head of household.

NARRATOR: And her
two-year-old brother

is following in her footsteps--

She eggs him on.

NARRATOR: --leaving dad
to dodge the b*ll*ts.

Listen to me!

It drives me crazy.

NARRATOR: When it
comes to a happy home--

It's horrible.

NARRATOR: --can Nanny
Deb raise the bar?

I want to see a lot
of games being played.

NARRATOR: It's much ado about
nothing tonight on "Nanny 911."

[music playing]

[baby crying]

Dad, listen to me.

Mommy!

[crying]

My name's Camille Keffer.

And I'm a stay at home mom
by day, a student at night.

So I have the never
ending work schedule.

Stop tickling me.

My name is Chris, and I'm
a senior project manager.

No, no, no, no.

There are some behavioral issues
that are driving us crazy.

Madison, stop it.

You stop it.

I would say our family life
right now is pretty crazy.

Our kids are out of control.

No, sir.

Put me down.

CAMILLE: Madison's seven years
old, and she's always right.

No, you're not getting
it right now, Madison.

Yes, I am!

Madison's seven
going on 16 now.

Uh, dad.

NARRATOR: She's
been spoiled rotten.

Anything that she
doesn't want to do,

she'll just scream
and yell and fuss.

I want to go outside!

Right now.

Sometimes she'll
stomp her foot.

NARRATOR: Madison
talks back really bad.

She always has to
have the last word.

And she says, you're
not the boss, I am.

You have to.

CHRIS: Why?

Because I said so.

We filed on our taxes
her as head of household.

Madison gets very
upset when things

aren't done right or her way.

No

NARRATOR: She constantly
bosses her brother around.

She eggs him on to act out.

[madison laughs]

CHRIS: Carter's my youngest.

He's my little dude,
and he's a challenge.

Carter has started to throw
some major temper tantrums.

Swiping stuff off furniture and
throwing himself on the floor

and throw his tantrums.

To me, it looks like
he's really angry.

CHRIS: That's not nice, Carter.

When Madison or Carter scream,
you feel like your eardrums

are going to burst.

It's horrible.

CHRIS: It sends a
shiver down my spine.

I want to jump out of
my skin when I hear it.

It would be nice if I could
enjoy my time with my children,

but I don't.

It drives me crazy.

Madison, don't do that.

I've tried everything
that I could think of,

and nothing works.

You want to go to
your party today?

Yes, and I'm not
washing my hands.

We've even talked to
a therapist a little bit

about behavior.

You can sit here, OK?

No, I'm not sitting anywhere.

[screams]

CHRIS: Carter.

I feel like what
did I do wrong?

And they don't come
with a handbook.

We don't hit.

But I want to!

CHRIS: My wife and I
have different styles.

Camille is a hard liner.

No more, do you understand?

CHRIS: And I'm not.

Please, please, please.
CHRIS: All right, come on.

Let's go find that game.
- Yay!

They know that
they could go to dad

and say can I do this or
that and more than likely,

he's going to let them do it.

I want a piece of candy.

No, not right now.

a piece of candy!

I'm going to give you
this piece of candy.

NARRATOR: It does make me
mad when Chris does that.

It's very frustrating.

Can I help you with anything?

No, just go do your emails.

OK.

I will lock myself
in the guest bedroom.

It's like, leave me alone.

Let me do my thing.

Mom, I need to
ask you something.

We definitely used to have
fun, and we don't do it now.

Ah!

We're both pretty
frustrated with things.

You just want to throw your
hands up and say, OK, I'm done.

There's nothing else I could do.

Let's do that.

It's not like that.

CHRIS: I don't like the kicking,
the hitting, the screaming.

I can't stand the screaming.

Carter.

I feel like I'm fighting
a battle that I can't win.

I don't know what to do.

I don't want to!

[screams]

Well, ladies,
what do you think?

That family
needs to lighten up

and have some fun for a change.

Dad needs to stop negotiating
and start parenting.

That little girl should not
be the one running the show.

Mom and dad need to step up.

These children don't respect
each other or their parents.

Nanny Deb, you're my
choice to teach this brood

how to be a happy family again.

[music playing]

NANNY DEB: I'm Nanny Deb
from Holyhead North Wales,

and I've been a nanny
for over 24 years.

Yes!

It's going cheek.

Right now!

NANNY DEB: Project
manager dad is

having trouble managing his
own seven-year-old daughter.

I want it right now.

NANNY DEB: And
unemotional mom is

starting to cr*ck with her
two out-of-control children.

The Keffer household
is about to explode,

and I only have one week
to defuse the situation.

Hello, I'm Nanny Deb.

I'm Camille Keffer.

How are you?

I'm good, thank you.

NARRATOR: Before the nanny
arrived, I was nervous.

Our family life right
now is pretty crazy.

Hello.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi, I'm Chris.

I was very nervous.

It was almost like a
celebrity was in the house.

Today, I have to tell
you how it's going to work.

You're going to see
me walking around

your house with this book.

CHRIS: OK.

And what I do is I write
notes about your family.

I don't think
that suddenly having

the nanny come in that we're
going to be the happy Keffer

family from now on.

Today, you guys have to
kind of pretend I'm not here.

I'm a little invisible.

The weirdest thing
about her outfit

was the hat and the cape.

So carry on with your day, and
we'll talk later this evening.

CHRIS: OK.

NANNY DEB: The first thing
I observe is mom getting

the kids ready for the day.

You have to
rinse the brush off

or it's going to get
all hard and yucky.

Look.

You have to do it
like this, see?

Get all the toothpaste out.

NANNY DEB: I noticed that
mom is very particular.

She needs to be in
control at all times.

Madison, do you need to wear
your black belt with that?

Yes.
CAMILLE: OK.

You sure you don't want
a long sleeve shirt?

NANNY DEB: Camille won't
let any detail slip by,

and poor Madison is overloaded.

CAMILLE: Make your bed.

I want you to make your
bed and then you can

come in and brush your teeth.

I feel very frustrated
with the kids

because I like keeping
order in the house.

That's my biggest thing.

You're being silly.

OK.

She likes it her way.

NANNY DEB: Finally, the kids
are ready for breakfast.

CAMILLE: What do you want
for breakfast, Carter?

Do you want Froot Loops?

Do you want Cheerios?

What I'm seeing about Carter
is he has a very strong will.

CAMILLE: We could have a
pirate lollipop after we

eat some breakfast, OK?

No!

He loves to throw things.

CAMILLE: Would you like
to sit in time out?

Stay right there, Carter.

And he has a
really loud scream.

Camille leaves him
in time out while she

gets back to breakfast.

Our discipline styles
are two different styles.

Sometimes, it drives me crazy.

NANNY DEB: Then, rather than
listening to the screaming,

dad just swoops in
and rescues Carter.

They're not very
consistent with it.

Time out is a horrific
experience instead

of a calming experience.

If you sit right there,
I'll go get you strawberries.

NANNY DEB: After breakfast,
dad tries to help

Madison with her homework.

What's this word right here?

Read the first sentence there.

[groans]

What's the matter?

NANNY DEB: But as soon as
Madison's fuse is lit--

Come on, Carter.

Come on, we're going
back in your room.

NANNY DEB: --Dad
heads for the hills.

CHRIS: I don't want
to see her get angry.

That's emotionally
draining after a while.

Dad!

NANNY DEB: If Madison wants
something, she throws a fit.

And, in the past, has
always gotten her way.

Dad!

CHRIS: Madison, that's enough.

When I scream, people listen.

[crying]

NANNY DEB: The volume these
children generate when

they scream is just incredible.

Clearly, the kids are in
charge in this family.

CHRIS: What's wrong?

I want you to stay over here.

My daddy tells me that I
wear the pants in the family.

All right, OK.

NANNY DEB: Later in the
day, mom and Madison are

getting ready to go outside.

All right, let's get a jacket.

Can you get one
that's in your closet?

Because this one's not
going to be warm enough, OK?

No!

NANNY DEB: But something as
simple as choosing a jacket

becomes a big problem.

CAMILLE: You could find one.

I can't find any.

- Yes, you can.
- No, I can't.

No, I can't.

No, I can't.

Madison has to be so
perfect all the time.

She has to look perfect.

All the time, everything
has to be perfect.

I can't find one that matches.

CAMILLE: It doesn't
matter if it matches.

You just need to
cover your arms.

I want it to match.

CHRIS: Madison gets very
upset when things aren't

done right or her way
or they don't match

or they're not perfect.

CAMILLE: Well, you do
a good job with that.

No, I don't!

CAMILLE: So just go
pick something out.

When I see behavior
like this, to me,

it shows a child that is
striving for perfection.

Dad, come here.

No.

What do you need with me?

I want to show
you this calendar.

NANNY DEB: Then, Madison
turns her attention

from her jacket to a problem
she notices with the calendar

on the door.

It's not right.

This is where it starts 31 days.

NANNY DEB: She is
certain that there

are only 30 days in October.

And although dad tries to
explain the calendar to her,

she just won't listen.

No!

It's OK.

It's not right.

NANNY DEB: I've never seen
a child get this upset

over a simple mistake.

This need for perfection at this
young age is very disturbing.

And that's one thing I'm really
worried about for Madison.

Carter, you want to come sit?

NANNY DEB: At
dinner time, I begin

to see where little Madison's
strive for perfection

is coming from.

Madison, can you sit
on your butt, please?

Thank you.

I like a clean house.

I like the kids to say
please and thank you.

And when they're not
using their manners,

it just frustrates me to no end.

Let's not have our
elbows on the table, OK?

NANNY DEB: Mom really
wants the perfect house

and the perfect family.

And everything
has to be perfect.

CHRIS: Madison,
how is everything?

MADISON: Good.

Can you please not have
your elbow on the table?

CAMILLE: I care, and I
asked you not to do it.

MADISON: It hurts
when I do this.

CAMILLE: No, it doesn't.

MADISON: Yes, it does.

CAMILLE: Madison, do you
want to go sit in time out?

It does!

NANNY DEB: Camille and
her perfection issues

are definitely rubbing
off on Madison,

and that's why she feels the
need to always be perfect.

Then please take your
elbow off the table.

Uh-huh!

Then, we're going
to go sit in time out.

- Uh-huh!
- All right, come on.

You want me to take you there?

MADISON: No!

Don't let me ask you
again or you're going

to go straight to time out.

[growls]

Don't growl at me.

So far I haven't seen a
lot of fun in this house.

Carter, do you
want some juice?

Here's your juice.

No, it's not!

NANNY DEB: When it's time
for the children to sleep,

dad puts the kids to
bed all by himself.

NANNY DEB: It seems
that mom cares more

about the cleanliness
of her house--

NANNY DEB: --then the
well-being of her children.

What chapter are we on?

NANNY DEB: It's almost as
if mom is trying to remove

all trace of her kids.

Good night.

I love you.

You sleep tight.

CARTER: Mom!

Mom!

NANNY DEB: And when Carter calls
for mom, she just ignores it.

I have definitely seen enough.

It's time to sit
these parents down.

I hope they're ready for
what I have to tell them.

Chris, Camille, can I talk
to you for a minute, please?

I was a bit nervous to see
what Nanny Deb was going to say

about our parenting skills.

Well, where do we begin?

Uh-oh.

The noise volume is--

is enormously high.

Dad!

The biggest problem
I see, in general,

is right now you have a 7 year
old and a 2 and 1/2 year old

who are running this family.

CHRIS: I was very
much taken off guard.

I think, sometimes, they're
just looking for attention.

Carter and Madison both
have very big anger issues.

No, it's not!

I can't find one the matches.

CAMILLE: It doesn't
matter if it matches.

You just need to
cover your arms.

I want it to match.

Madison's is quite
extreme for her age.

Carter, you know, a
lot of two-year-olds,

you expect certain behaviors.

Definitely disagreed
with Nanny Deb

saying that Madison and
Carter have anger issues.

Another thing with
Madison obviously

is that she has to be
right all the time.

It's OK.

It's not right.

Everything is perfect.

She has to look perfect.

Her things in her room
have to be perfect.

All the time, everything
has to be perfect.

But this week, it's
going to be something

we have to get to the
bottom of because those

are the children that end
up with extreme problems.

I would be devastated
if something like that

happened in Madison.
That's a serious issue.

She has been set up
to have to be perfect.

I wonder if Camille's need
for order around the house

might drive some of
Madison's behavior.

It's an emotional
roller coaster this week.

It's a very draining experience.

I'm going to come
in in the morning.

I'm going to have all
the tools in place.

We'll go over everything.

I'll hold your hand, and
we'll make it through.

CHRIS: I was floored.

I very much was
floored and upset.

It was very, very scary.

NANNY DEB: After
yesterday's observation,

the problems in the Keffer
household are clear.

Mom needs to stop expecting
these kids to be perfect.

Good morning!

NANNY DEB: And dad
needs to spend more time

communicating with his kids.

Come sit down.

I have some things to show you.

I was a bit
nervous to see what

Nanny Deb was going to say.

I'm going to be in trouble.

First things first.

I have my nanny book.

CHRIS: I was actually kind
of anxious to hear the rules

because it could get ugly.

NANNY DEB: These are the
things that we have to do.

The first rule is
respect each other.

That means we don't scream at
each other or have nasty tones.

No!

It's going to be
hard for Madison

to get used to that one.

We don't hit each other.

CHRIS: Madison.

Carter.

We're all nice and kind.

Since that's
our biggest issue,

that's probably going to be
one of the hardest things

to accomplish.

The second rule is
parents are in charge.

Because up till now, mom and dad
haven't been really in charge,

have they?

I like to be in charge.

CHRIS: You work on that.

No!

CHRIS: What's wrong?

I want you to stay in here.

CHRIS: Why?

Please take your
elbow off the table.

Uh-huh!

Then we're going to
go sit in time out.

Uh-huh!

I don't like the rule mom
and dad are in charge.

And the last one is
nobody's perfect.

It's OK to make mistakes.

I can't find one that matches.

CAMILLE: It doesn't
matter if it matches.

You just need to
cover your arms.

I want it to match.

I love that because I
really think that Madison

needs to understand
that it doesn't

have to be right all the time.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Mom and dad make mistakes.

Yeah, they do.

OK, are you ready
for your surprise?

This is Madison's surprise.

If you do these things,
you earn your reward.

And look how pretty
your rewards are.

CHRIS: As soon as
I saw it, I knew

Madison was going to love it.

Two things, she's
very competitive,

and she wants to know that
she's done a good job.

And then you get
to go on special time

with either mom or dad.

Now, look what Carter gets.

[gasps]

Carter's going to speak nicely
too and listen to mom and dad.

CAMILLE: I don't think that
Carter really gets the concept

of the reward board.

He thought it was playtime.

OK, so everybody understands?

You're going to earn
them, you're going

to work really hard today.

CHRIS: I was very
much overwhelmed.

Not sure how it's going to work.

NANNY DEB: After giving the
family their new set of rules,

the kids got right to
work helping out mom.

CHRIS: All right, clean it up.

Get it.

NANNY DEB: Look at that.

CAMILLE: Good job, Carter.

NANNY DEB: He gets a sticker
for picking up his toys.

CARTER: Yeah.

All right, let's
go get a sticker

for cleaning up the toys.

Let's go get a sticker.

Good job, Carter.

Yay, you did it.

Give me five.

Oh!

Having her watch us
is a little awkward.

I'm not used to having
someone follow me around.

NANNY DEB: Even though
mom seemed hesitant,

Madison seemed
especially enthusiastic

about the positive
reinforcement she was receiving.

Up, up and away.

NANNY DEB: And the reward
boards were quickly filling up.

Up, up away.

Up, up and away.

NANNY DEB: Later
in the afternoon,

after dad left for
work, I decided

to take mom and the kids out as
a reward for obeying the rules.

But right away, Carter
started to act up.

CAMILLE: Of course, Carter
resisted the high chair

and didn't want to get in
and screamed and fussed.

Will you sit in this
chair on your butt?

Mom's reaction when the
kids are out of control

is that she gets completely
detached and unemotional.

Sit down on your heiny.

Can you sit down?

Can you sit down, Carter?

And then of course he
wants to run around.

And I'm not going to chase him.

So I just want to walk away
from it and say forget it.

I don't know what to do.

It's kind of embarrassing.

NANNY DEB: I had to step in and
tell mom It was time for him

to get into the high chair.

And when you say
it, you mean it.

Sit him down.

Sit down.

No, no, no.

It's time to eat.

NANNY DEB: Carter was screaming,
sticking his legs out stiffly,

arching his back, refusing
to go into the high chair.

So I talked to him.

I explained to him
it was time to eat.

I know you're angry
right now, but you

need to sit in the high chair.

I know you're angry right now.

You cannot behave this
way at the restaurant.

I really had to go
back to basics with mom

and show her how to talk to your
child when you mean business.

If you continue to scream.

You're going to go sit
outside for time out.

No!

Then you choose, Carter.

You choose.

His body relaxed, we got
him in the high chair,

and he immediately calmed down
and started eating his lunch.

No problem.

If anything needs to
happen, just remember

the tone has to change.

You're serious.

Now that I've shown
mom how to communicate

with her upset child, I hope
she'll be able to handle

the next tantrum on her own.

CARTER: I don't want to.

NANNY DEB: After we
returned from lunch,

Madison wanted to play outside.

But, of course, joyless mom
wanted her to do some homework.

NANNY DEB: Without
trying to talk to Madison

in order to solve
the problem, mom just

throws her in a timeout.

I don't want to sit
in the dumb time out.

NANNY DEB: Mom puts on this
sort of blank expression, which

causes Madison to escalate.

Madison, sit
there on the step.

No!

No, no.

I've asked you nicely a
couple times not to talk back.

No!

No!

And Madison was screaming.

She was really, really angry.

No!

No!

NANNY DEB: It's
obvious that Madison's

extreme tantrums
are a cry for help,

but mom just isn't getting it.

I want to!

I want to go outside!

I want to go outside!

Camille was starting to really
lose control with Madison,

so I had to step
in and show her how

to get Madison to calm down.

So you're gonna get down to her
level, got to look in her face,

and you're going to
say to her, Madison,

I know you do not want
to sit there right now

and I know you
want to go outside.

But you are out of control,
and you need to sit

calmly for seven minutes.

Madison's calming down.

She's going to do a good job.

This is dumb.

Mom, I don't want to sit here!

CAMILLE: I just don't want to
deal with Madison's feelings.

MADISON: Mommy!

Do you want to lay
out your homework

and figure out what
we're going to work on?

NANNY DEB: The next day, as I
arrived at the Keffer home dad

and Madison sat
down to do homework.

And right away, Madison
started to get upset.

Madison, you're whining.

I don't have any more
homework in my home folder.

I don't have anything but this.

Oh, OK.

What is this?

The only reason I
ask is we can take

a look at it really quickly.

No.

CHRIS: Can you calm down?

Just take a second to breathe.

I think I need a
second to breathe.

No.

No, I'm not taking any
seconds to breathe.

CHRIS: I didn't know
what to do really.

And I feel like I don't
have the right tool

to come out of the bag.

I need to understand
what she's thinking.

She's hard work.

Yeah.

CHRIS: Oh, my gosh,
it's just constant.

NANNY DEB: Don't give in to her.

You maintain your control,
your strength, and your calm.

Stick with the program.

And use the rewards board as
an incentive to calm her down.

So once you say
those things, you

have to follow through with it.

OK.

It's going to
get a lot easier.

NANNY DEB: And with
that, I sent dad

back in to finish the homework.

I need to look at it and
read the directions, OK?

You breathe while I
read the directions.

Dad, there's no directions.

Not one.

I don't like how
you're talking to me.

Because right now's
not kind of a fun time.

It's not silly time right now.

Dad, [vocalizing]

That is not nice.

I'm going to give you a warning.

Madison, this is
your warning, OK?

So if I have to tell you another
time that you're not talking

nice to me while
we're doing homework,

you're not going to get your
reward for speaking nicely, OK?

NANNY DEB: I was so happy to see
dad starting to use the reward

system to keep Madison calm.

You're very upset, I know.

I think you're upset
because you kind of a little

bit out of the
routine a little bit

because we're working
on some things.

Is that right?

You're upset about that.

I understand.

Dad talked to her
and very calm voice,

and she responded very well.

Very calmly.

All of this is a
gas, except for that.

All of this is liquid,
except for that.

All of this is a gas.

NANNY DEB: Dad was
making a huge effort

to diffuse her frustration.

All of this is a
liquid except for that.

Yay, ice cream.

All right, so I
can't believe it.

I think you're done.

Nice job.

Good job.

And I think because you
finished your homework we're get

to put a reward on the chart.

Now, I'm so much
more in control.

It feels really, really good.

We spent a good deal
of time during homework

and you listened well.

NANNY DEB: Dad is
doing marvelously,

and I'm very proud of him.

But after yesterday's tantrum,
I thought I should give mom

some more instructions on how
to open up and communicate

properly with her kids.

I'm going to pull back a little
bit and let you be in control

and you're in charge.

Madison might start
spiraling and whining.

I don't know what to do.

I've tried everything
that I know how to try

with Madison and nothing works.

NANNY DEB: There are a
couple of things to remember.

One thing, give a
positive reinforcement

because she doesn't
react well to criticism.

The other thing with her is you
have to get down on her level

and be compassionate with her.

It's important that
she feels you're

emotionally connecting
because it diffuses

her from going into a spiral.

CAMILLE: I don't think
it'll happen overnight.

I don't think Madison
will change overnight.

I think that it's
going to be something

that everyone has to work on.

NANNY DEB: The next day, it
was the perfect opportunity

to see if mom had listened
to anything I had said.

CAMILLE: You study
for your test?

Not yet.

NANNY DEB: As Madison shows
her mother her homework,

I was hoping she would offer
some positive feedback.

CAMILLE: Did you do
your challenge words?

Yes.

And the back?

MADISON: They each threw
stones into a circle.

CAMILLE: The circle.

MADISON: The circle.

CAMILLE: Don't make up words.

You spelled this wrong.

Can you tell me why?

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

Uh-huh.

I goes there.

Mom, the I goes there
only it's silent.

NANNY DEB: Madison gets upset.

Mom doesn't use any of
the tools I've given her.

She closes down emotionally,
gives no positive feedback,

and keeps up the criticism.

No, it does not, Madison.

Yes, it does.
Yes, it does.

Yes, it does.

I've looked up the word before.

OK, fine.

Don't erase anything.

CAMILLE: I'm not
going to erase it.

I'm going to write
something over here.

Can I see it?
- No.

CAMILLE: She gets very
frustrated if I point out

a word that she spelled wrong.

But everything
has to be perfect.

After coming, put and he--

No, no, no, no.

It'll be checked
wrong, Madison.

No, it's not!

Don't you want to know
how to spell them right?

Mom!

What are you trying
to say right here?

NANNY DEB: To me, it
shows a child that

is striving for
perfection and a mom who's

only making the problem worse.

I don't want you
to look over my work.

I just wanted to read it to you.

That's silly.

OK, see?

That looks perfect.

[screams]

Can I see your pencil?

No, it's not like that.

It's not.

And you're being wrong.

I'm right.

I'm right.

NANNY DEB: Mom's perfectionism
has rubbed off on her daughter,

but she doesn't see how
it's poisoning her children.

Since mom won't open up and
get to the root of the problem

with Madison, I have to.

It's time to sit her
down and have a chat.

You don't like to be wrong, huh?

Uh-huh.

How come?

It's just that
sometimes I don't like it

when people like to correct me.

How does it make you
feel when they do that?

Really, really mad sometimes.

CHRIS: Nanny Deb came in
to help out a little bit.

It was amazing to
watch that happen.

Why do you think you
always have to be right?

You were getting
really, really upset.

And I know it doesn't
feel good, right?

OK.

And I just want you to know that
everybody is wrong sometimes.

That's part of life.

We all make mistakes.

And when people
are correcting you,

they're not telling
you that you're wrong.

There's nothing wrong with you.

Right?

Nothing's wrong with Madison.

And everyone can tell that
you're a very, very smart girl.

But smart people
make mistakes too.

- OK.
- OK?

OK.

And I'm going to help fix
that with mommy and daddy.

Is everything cool now?

Thank you.

I hoped our talk
would help Madison

be a little easier on herself.

But with time running
out, I still had to get

through to closed off Camille.

Do you want to be a helper?

NANNY DEB: Later
in the day, Camille

decided to make some cupcakes.

This could be a recipe
for some much needed fun.

But instead of making it fun--

CAMILLE: OK.

Careful.

NANNY DEB: Again,
Camille takes over

and incessantly
criticizes her children.

CAMILLE: No.

NANNY DEB: In mom's eyes,
her children can do no right.

CAMILLE: No, Madison, we're not
going to lick off the spoon.

What Madison was
doing was wrong,

and that just
frustrates me to no end.

All right, move out of the way.

No, no, no we need
to put those--

No, no!

NANNY DEB: And, of course,
moms demand for perfection

causes Madison to
break down again.

I want to make cupcakes!

I want something right now.

CAMILLE: No, you're not
getting it right now, Madison.

Yes, I am.

NANNY DEB: And even though
mom's constant nitpicking

is the reason for
Madison's frustration,

she grabs Madison by the arm
and drags her to time out.

And that turned into
an unbelievable show.

[cries of frustration]

I can't believe it.

When Madison kicked her mom,
there's absolutely no response.

There could be a lot of reasons
why she doesn't want to express

her emotions, but
it's very ineffective

when it comes to her children.

They're just going to
continue pushing her buttons

until she shows them a sign
that she's upset or angry.

CAMILLE: Madison.

I don't want to
sit anywhere, mom.

I want to get up right now mom.

Right now I tell you.

Right this very minute.

CAMILLE: Madison, you
need to calm down first.

It's almost like you just
want to throw your hands up

and say, OK, I'm done.

There's nothing else I can do.

Mom, I am trying to be calm.

I'm trying to, but I
can't control myself.

Madison did something
quite surprising.

She expresses very clearly
she needs help to calm down

and mom, again,
coldly dismisses her.

I'm trying to be calm!

Well, when you're
ready, we'll talk.

I am ready!
I am!

I am!

NANNY DEB: Even though
time is running out,

mom seems content to
just let Madison scream

until she's blue in the face.

MADISON: Mom!

Mom, you have to listen to me.

I feel like if I
pay attention to her,

I'm just giving
her what she wants.

So I try my best to ignore it.

I want to get up.

I want to get up.

I want to get up.

I want to get up.

I want to get up!

Mommy!

I just reached
my breaking point.

I couldn't take it anymore.

Sit down at that table, and
I don't want to hear anything

out of you for a few minutes.

NANNY DEB: I was getting a
little concerned that I wasn't

going to have an impact with
this family because of mom

having this wall.

You all right?

You know, you're
having a hard time.

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

For me, it was a big relief
when she finally broke

this wall down and let me in.

It was an incredibly important
moment for the whole family

and for this process.

I'm the kind of
person that's really

good at hiding my feelings.

I put up a wall even
more if I'm not--

like, if something's
bothering me.

NANNY DEB: Mom really opened
up and started sharing with me

about how she has learned
in her life to put up a wall

and not show her emotions.

Moms need to show the world
that everything in her life

is perfect.

This perfectionism, that's
what I'm concerned that Madison

is getting the message of.

A lot of Madison's perfectionism
issues and control issues

are coming from the
subliminal message

that mom is putting out
by hiding her emotions.

No more closed off.

If you're feeling
it, let it out.

OK.

You have to be
honest with yourself

in order to be honest
with other people.

CAMILLE: Nanny Deb was
just telling me, you know,

it's OK to show your emotions.

I need to relax a little bit
and not worry about everything

being so perfect.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate it.

You're very welcome.

Now that mom's really opened
up a part of her working

on her issues is
being able to talk

to Madison to take the pressure
off Madison to be perfect.

So I asked her if
she and Madison

would have some
quality time together

and have a little chat.

CAMILLE: Wow.

That's really pretty.

I wanted to talk to Madison,
but it was kind of hard for me

to figure out OK, what do I say?

How do I bring this up?

How is she going to react?

So you know when mom was
little, papa, my dad,

used to be a real strict with
me about stuff being just right.

And it used to frustrate me.

It did?

CAMILLE: Yeah.

It was very frustrating.

So now I think I
know how you feel.

But I just wanted to
say I'm sorry if I've

put a lot of pressure on you
for that kind of stuff, OK?

OK.

It was really
sweet because mom

was really opening
up to Madison,

I think, for the first time.

It gave Madison a little
insight into who mom is.

So I'm going to work on not
putting so much pressure on you

to always have
everything perfect.

I'm going to change and try
to get better at that too.

Maybe mom just needs to
learn how to have more fun?

What do you think?

Mhm.

CAMILLE: Yeah?

NANNY DEB: I'm really
proud of Camille.

She's taking a lot of
pressure off Madison,

and I really think it's going
to help the relationship.

So it was a really nice
moment for mom and daughter.

I'm so glad mom is
finally on board.

But the next day, when I
arrive at the Keffer's it

didn't take long for
Madison to throw a tantrum

and land herself in time out.

It was time to see how mom
would handle the situation.

Maddie, I understand
you're angry at mom, OK?

But yelling and kicking mom
on her legs with your boots

is not nice and that hurts
my feelings very much.

Do you understand that?

NANNY DEB: Camille
just amazed me today.

She got down to Maddie's
level and calmed her down.

You did a good
job calming down.

I'm proud of you.

NANNY DEB: Over the coming days,
I'm delighted to see mom relax

and have fun with her children.

She's finally letting
go of her perfectionism

and letting her feelings show.

Her family is
responding really well.

CAMILLE: High five, dude.

Yeah!

NANNY DEB: And
with mom loosening

up there's a much lighter
mood in the house.

CHRIS: You gonna ask me nicely?

How about that?

Yes.

NANNY DEB: Madison and Carter
are getting along much better.

That's so nice.

NANNY DEB: And I'm happy
to see that these parents

are finally on the same page.

Now the family is able
to enjoy little moments

of everyday life.

Yeah, there you go.

NANNY DEB: Before
I leave, I need

to make sure that the
Keffer family is rewarding

Madison's good behavior.

Good job.

Wow, Madison, how many is that?

Four.

Give me five.

Very good.

Madison's working really
hard to earn her rewards.

And she soon fills
up her reward board

and gets to spend one on one
time with one of her parents

doing anything she wants.

But I think you've
been doing very well.

So I'm very, very happy.

What are you going to do?

What's your choice
that you've made?

Something with Daddy,
but I'm not sure.

And you know how much
I love to see that smile

and those dimples don't I?

Madison chooses to spend
the evening playing

video games with her father.

Press start, dad.

Yeah, let's go two player.

MADISON: Dad, go up a little.

There?

Yeah.

CHRIS: It was such a good thing.

It's something that
she'd been dying to do,

and it made me happy.

And I'd had a great time.

NANNY DEB: It's great
to see that the Keffer

parents are rewarding their
children for good behavior.

This will help ensure
that Madison and Carter

stay on the right path.

And now all that's left
to do is say goodbye.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

It was really hard to
say goodbye to this family

because I really feel like I
made a connection with them.

Nanny's feeling a
little sad today.

Why?

Because I have to say
goodbye to you guys.

Because I think we're all
going to be sad to see her go.

It's been a roller coaster
ride, but I hope, for you guys,

it's been worth it.

Because for me it certainly has.

CHRIS: We came to this
point for a reason.

It was a life
changing experience.

I haven't seen my kids
this happy in a long time.

Carter, I'm going
to miss you so much.

I'm going to miss you this much.

Madison, you've made a big,
big change, haven't you?

I am glad that Nanny Deb came.

I'm going to really
miss Nanny Deb.

All right, let me
give you all a big hug

before I put my coat on.

This family's really put a
lot of effort in this week.

They've just been so welcoming.

It's going to be really,
really hard to leave.

Thank you.

Our week with Nanny Deb, I don't
really know how to describe it

other than it was just amazing.

Bye.

You take care.

Thank you.

It is a happier time in
our house with our kids

and with our family, happier
than it's been in years.

Me too.

You take care of yourself.

Keep up the good work.

We can't have her
every day, so now it's

our turn to do it on our own.

All right, well,
I love you guys.

Thank you again for everything.

Bye-bye.

CHRIS: Have a safe trip.

Keep up the good work.

If I had one wish
for the Keffer family

that would be that
they stay on the path

that they're on right now,
they continue to work together.

They continue to
remember to have fun,

and they continue to embrace
their roles as parents

and enjoy their children.

It used to have little Velcro.

I don't know I haven't
played with this in forever.

They're not there anymore.

MADISON: OK?

So they don't attach anymore.

Watch Carter on this one.

He might jump up on it.

MADISON: Play in the sun room.

I'm the screen.

I'm the screen.

I'm the screen.

[music playing]

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