01x03 - Stealing First

[bunniefuu]

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side

♪ Well, I paid a visit

♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪

♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪Till further notice♪

♪ Till further notice

♪I'm in between♪

♪ I'm in between

♪From where I'm standing♪

♪ From where I'm standing

♪ My grass is green

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side.

Here she comes.

Hi, Mrs. Foutley.

Hello, Mrs. Foutley.

Oh, hi, Ginger.

Did you ask your mom?

Did she ask her mom what?

Did she say yes?

Did I say yes to what?

The annual Lucky Junior High ski trip.

It's this weekend and...

Thanks for the ride, Mom.

Got to run.

Don't slam it! Don't slam it!

[slam, clank]

Ginger Foutley, tomorrow is your last chance

to turn in the permission slip for the ski trip.

I know.

Ginger, are you afraid your mom will say no?

Is that why you haven't asked?

Talk about it at lunch, Dodie, okay?

[bell rings]

Bell! That... that will be the bell.

Come lunch, I want one good reason

you're avoiding this ski trip, Ginger...

Do you know what this is, Hoodsey?

A flyer for the Lucky Junior High ski trip?

Yes... and do you know what it means?

"Kids from ages to are invited to partake

in the powdery slopes of the illustrious Mount Bear?"

Foutley, I'm taking this chair.

Request denied.

This is our chance at the big time.

Uh... I don't get it.

Foutley...

I saiddenied, Terrence!

[exasperated sigh]

What does the junior high ski trip have to do with us?

[talking with mouth full]

But, Carl, I don't know if I'm allowed to do that.

Well? Out with it, Ginger.

Why in the world are you trying to dodge this trip?

Is this about how red your nose tends to get in the cold?

Because I cannot stress enough

the absolute magic a good concealer can work.

Take for example

the swollen hive on Macie's lip.

Once a hideous, disfiguring pustule...

now next to invisible.

Thanks to Dodie, my little angora allergy

is nobody's business but my own.

I can work this same miracle for you, Ginger Foutley.

You guys... it's not about my nose.

Ski trip?

How incredibly lame.

At least it's coed.

Let's say we make

a little bet to spice things up.

What did you have in mind?

Something that makes the ski trip more interesting for us

while manipulating one or more of our classmates?

Ooh, Miranda, you're so bad!

I bet you that I can get the exchange student from France...

Jean-Pierre?

to go to first base on the chair lift.

Ooh, I like.

I like very much.

Who with?

Well, it has to be a challenge.

Ginger Foutley.

Foutley? Jean-Pierre wouldn't touch that friz-bag

with a ten-foot ski pole.

Winner does math homework for a week.

You're going down.

You are so going down.

Oh, really?

Well, I wouldn't underestimate Miss Ginger

if I were you, Miranda.

Some people find her charm positively contagious.

Hey, what's up, ladies?

Hi, Darren.Darren!

Hello, Darren.

Are you going to eat that tartar sauce?

Uh, probably not.

Darren, would you please tell Ginger

that no one in their right mind

would miss the Lucky Junior High ski trip this weekend?

I'm not going.

Really, Darren? Why?

I'm having the rack tightened on Saturday morning.

If I don't black out, I'm usually in bed for the rest of day.

Oh...

Are you a fan of the tapioca or...

Go ahead.

What about your lactose intolerance?

Life is short, Ginger.

Ginger, lunch is three-quarters of the way over

and you still haven't told me

why you don't want to go on the ski trip.

I don't want to go on the ski trip because...

I can't ski!

What in the world does the ski trip

have to do with skiing?

Dodie's right.

There's plenty of other activities to indulge in.

Like hot chocolate at the ski lodge... [sighs]

Or having your picture taken with a cute instructor. Hello!

I guess you're right.

You can have a great time on the ski trip

without ever setting foot on the slopes.

And who in their right mind would?

[chuckles]

Thanks, you guys.

So you're in?

I'm... in.

Ooh, whee!

Now, all we have to do

is plan your not-skiing ski ensemble

and who better to do that than...

Macie: Courtney Gripling...

Hi, Courtney.

Ginger!

Podie, Stacy.

Uh, she's Podie, I'm Stacy.

Whatever. Ginger, you are going

on the ski trip this weekend, aren't you?

Absolutely.

I mean, I haven't asked my mom yet

but I'm sure she'll say yes.

You ski?

Not really, but I'll wing it.

The girl's got moxie.

I'm really glad you're going

because that hot new foreign exchange student will be there.

And someone told me that he told them

to tell me to tell you that he may want to sit with you

on the chair lift ride and then

ski down a more advanced slope, if you know what I mean.

Ginger's not ready for a more advanced slope, Courtney.

She's not ready for any slope.

Oh, I think she is, Casey.

Something tells me she is.

Lois: I signed the permission slip.

It's on the fridge.

Why did you wait so long?

Where's the super-strength electrical tape?

In the crisper, where you left it.

I don't know.

Maybe I was just nervous or something.

Lois: About what?

Mom, were you going to throw away

this rotting cabbage

and if so can I have it to throw at a car?

Yes and absolutely not.

It's kind of complicated, Mom.

You don't have to tell me about complicated.

I birthed your brother.

Mom! I can't talk to you about these kind of things.

What kind of things?

Can't we at least talk about what we can't talk about?

Okay... it's like this.

At first I didn't want go on the ski trip

because of this one thing, right?

Right...

But that's not the thing anymore.

Well, that's good.

I mean, what I was nervous about at first

only felt like a big deal

but what I'm nervous about now is a much bigger deal.

Uh-oh.

So that's not so good.

What I'm trying to say is, uh...

how old were you the first time you went on a more "advanced" slope?

We're not talking about skiing anymore, are we?

Not really.

Carl, go throw the cabbage at our car.

Right on!

Oh, Ging, it seems like just yesterday

that you were learning to use your red plastic potty.

[echoing]: Remember that one?

I don't know, Dodie.

My mom went off on this total toilet-training tangent

and then hugged me for, like, minutes.

It was really weird.

Let's put a pin in that.

Have you decided what you're wearing?

Woman on phone: Dodie, give it a rest. It's dinner.

Ginger, send Robert Joseph home.

Sure, Mrs. Bishop. Bye.

We'll accessorize after dinner, okay?

Call you later.

Hoodsey, man, we are going to be famous.

I've always wanted to set a world record.

Longest amount of time trapped in a chair lift.

I've got to say, I like the ring of it.

Can we go throw another cabbage at your mom's car?

Not now, we're in training.

But I'm really hot, Carl!

I'm sweating a whole lot!

I think I even smell bad!

Doesn't that mean anything to you?

[knock on door]

Both: Identify yourself!

Ginger Foutley, sister of Carl.

Carl: State the nature of your business.

Message for Hoodsey.

Your mom wants you home.

It's time for dinner.

Us, too, Carl.

Oh... yes! Whoa!

[grunting]

Sorry, Carl.

Got to go!

What are you doing, Carl?

Information's classified.

Oh, uh, say, would you tell mom

I'll be taking supper in my sleeping quarters this evening?

And if it's not a problem, I'd like my fruit cocktail baked inside my potato.

Thanks in advance.

[groans]

The idea that an exotic boy like Jean-Pierre told someone to tell Courtney

to tell me that he may want to sit with me on the chair lift is really kind of exciting.

But I still feel like a total spaz!

Plus, I don't want Ian Richton to get the wrong idea.

Oh, man... and I thought skiing was overwhelming.

[Carl yawns]

[hammering]

[drilling]

Carl, what are you doing?!

Nothing, Ma!

Morning! [gargles]

Ging, you up?

We need to leave in .

I'm up!

All in all, I guess things could be worse.

I got my old ski jacket out of mothballs for you.

You'll be plenty toasty in this baby.

Uh, things just got worse.

[Carl grunts]

Go, go, go, go, go!

Hold your horses, Carl.

I have to lock up.

And then she sprayed it with Lady Musk

to hide the smell.

Looks kind of dirty.

That's because she's had it since she was a kid.

It's totally ancient.

Um, well, let's try calling it vintage.

You know what I always say:

You can't judge a candy bar by its wrapper.

I'll need my dry cleaning picked up

my phone messages returned

and my homework assignments finished

by the time I get back.

Okay, thanks, Daddy.

You're an absolute angel.

[thumping]

Careful with that luggage!

It's snake.

Oh... interesting ensemble, Ginger.

Uh, thanks... it's vintage.

Oh-ho-ho...

Jean-Pierre.

Oh...

Look what the cat hacked up.

You've got your work cut out for you, Miss Gripling.

Miranda, would you mind scooting back a seat?

Ginger and I really want to sit together.

Excuse me?

That's okay, Courtney.

I should probably just...

Move it. Now!

I'm supposed to be saving this seat for someone, Miranda.

And that someone is you.

Now, I must forewarn you

that I'm prone to motion sickness and/or vomiting

so if you're squeamish...

I'm not squeamish.

Oh, of course not.

Carl and Hoodsey: Whoa!

I can't feel my shins, Carl.

Are you sure this is worth it?

[laughs]

This is going to be better

than our mutated cupcake experiment.

Uh, what if I have to go to the bathroom?

That's what the newspaper is for, Hoodsey.

[grunting]

Ooh, uh, uh, say, Miranda

there's no way some zombies are on top of the bus, right?

Because I remember...

Shh! I'm trying to listen!

Now, tell me about your experience.

So far, so good.

Seats could be a little more comfortable, but...

I mean, tell me about your experiencewith boys.

Oh... right...

Ooh, last summer she accidentally

kicked Stuart Higsby in the...

Hi, we're busy right now.

Leave a message and we'll get back to you.

Beep!

You were saying.

In the second grade

I held Johnny Jefferie's hand on a class trip.

Hands cupped or fingers laced?

Uh... hands cupped.

[snickers]

I see...

Ginger, I think

you're a diamond in the rough, honest!

But if you want to snag a boy like Jean-Pierre

you're going to have to act

a little more... advanced.

[laughs nervously]

What did you have in mind?

[whispering...]

Oh...!

Now the plan is

stay away from the chair lift

at all costs.

Otherwise, we... ow!

Hey! You're history, Marcus!

Mabel, Mabel, if you're able

save your horseplay for the stable.

[grunting and groaning...]

[phone rings]

Hello?

Oh, hi, Joanne.

What?

No, they're not here.

Well, I thought they were at your place.

Well, when last seen, the boys were dressed in winter clothes

wearing goggles and hanging from the ceiling in Carl's room.

It means I may have a lead.

Call you back.

[muttering...]

[honks horn]

Everything okay, Darren?

I was supposed to see my ortho today

but Dr. Weinstein canceled.

Now I missed the ski trip for nothing.

Well, today is your lucky day, kiddo.

Well, what does she mean by "advanced"?

First base, Dodie.

Oh, I knew I shouldn't have come on this trip.

Courtney wants you to go to first base?!

Shh...!

What is first base exactly?

French kissing.

Everybody knows that.

Sorry...

Heading over to the lift, Ginger?

Don't take all day.

Or... do.

We'll be there in a minute.

Do you know how to, Dodie?

I mean,kisskiss?

Of course I do.

You mean you've swapped saliva

and you kept this from me?

Who are you?

Well, I mean, I almost did it once.

It's really simple.

Um, you just do this.

[kissing]

[kissing awkwardly]

[all kissing]

Bonjour, my little snow chickens!

Um, so the plan is we ride up the chair lift

and then right back down.

You must avoid dismounting at all costs.

Then why do we have to wear skis?

Thinks of the skis as an accessory

like a satin purse or a cute scrunchy.

So, J.P., are you seeing anyone these days?

Uh, seeing?

What does this mean?

A lot of girls like you, Jean-Pierre.

You could have your pick of anyone.

It's true.

But is you ask me, I think Ginger Foutley is pretty cute.

Ginger...

She does have a certain, I don't know how you say.

[giggles]

Hi, Jean-Pierre.

Ah, sweet Rebecca.

Now, she's cute.

Stay focused.

What can I say?

I love all female girls.

Superman had his faulty heel, no?

And this, this is my, how you say... weakness.

Lois: Oh...

Where did I go wrong?

I read to him at night, he saw a dentist regularly.

There was that nasty spill from the highchair

but all kids take a fall sometime, right?

Uh... can we listen to the radio, Ms. Foutley?

Two to a chair... tips up...

hands to yourself.

Aren't we standing a little close to the chair lift?

Some people might even think we're in line.

We are in line, Macie.

You know the plan.

Ginger! Up here!

Jean-Pierre saved you a spot.

Remember to tilt your head.

You don't have to go through with this.

No skiing involved, right?

None whatsoever.

And what about the kiss?

Do what feels right.

And remember, no means no.

Ginger! Jean-Pierre grows impatient. Come!

Two to a chair... tips up...

hands to yourself.

As I was saying, you stop the lift

and I break you off a nice fat slice of cake.

Hey, Ging!

Carl, what are you doing here?

Jean-Pierre, Ginger.

Hoodsey: So my man got a deal or what?

Darren, I'm going to need your help.

Carl's fast. He's slippery.

He may be armed with something gross.

Dodie: Oh... oh, I can hardly see anything!

So, uh... what's it like being French?

I'm a big fan of your toast.

Ginger, yournez.

It is...trés rouge.

Oh, I'm sorry, it's just...

Just about the cutest thing

I have ever hoped to see.

Courtney: It's easier to keep warm if you sit closer together.

Of course you can also keep warm by putting your hood up.

You can do it, Ginger.

[Carl laughs]

Yeah!

Hoods, this is it.

We're on our way to world-record fame.

Oh! You rock so hard, Carl!

Oh, boy...

High altitude, cold temperatures.

That can only mean one thing....

Both: Nosebleed!

Uh... we're stuck.

This is terrible.

Is it terrible, Ginger?

Or is it, how you say... destiny?

I don't know.

Maybe it's a little of each.

Hey, look, Carl, there's your mom.

Hi, Ms. Foutley!

Hoodsey!

Carl, you have eaten your last potato

with fruit cocktail baked inside.

Just wait until I get you down from there.

I'm afraid he won't be down for at least hours.

They're trying to set a world record.

I'll give you a world record to set.

How does "most unemployed" sound?

[whimpers]

Uh, do you know Ian Richton?

I don't.

Oh, he's really nice.

Of that I am sure.

Ginger... this small talk has left your lips

looking a little, how you say, frosty.

Allow me to warm them for you.

Ooh, you can do it, Ginger!

You've got what it takes.

Keep in mind, J.P., you can have anyone.

This is more fun than skiing, no? Heh-heh-heh.

No...

Aah... oh!

Aah...!

Ginger!

I can't stop!

Oh, that was less than three minutes.

Oh...!

[whimpering]

[screaming and panting]

[laughing]

Hey, Ginger!

I thought you said you didn't know how to ski.

Yeah! But I... I don't know how to French kiss either.

Where are you going? No, turn...!

I'm really sorry, Darren.

I'll carry your books every day-- promise.

Hey, no sweat.

My brother always said that wearing a cast

was like a total babe magnet. [laughs]

So along with breaking Darren's leg

came a valuable lesson about the importance of facing your fears.

Not just for me, but for Carl, too.

I can't believe you, Carl!

This really takes the cake!

No privileges, no television, no sweets...

I suppose skiing and quite possibly French kissing

is just like everything else.

It looks a lot harder than it is.

It's actually kind of fun when you're doing it

and the trickiest part

is knowing when to stop.

But I'll have to get back to you on the kissing thing...

when I know firsthand.

[chuckles]

Macie: Uh... she's Podie.

I'm Stacy.