02x14 - New Girl In Town

[bunniefuu]

♪ Someone once told me th♪ On the other side. r ♪

♪ Well, I paid a visit

♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪

♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪Till further notice♪

♪ Till further notice

♪I'm in between♪

♪ I'm in between

♪From where I'm standing♪

♪ From where I'm standing

♪ My grass is green.

♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪

♪ On the other side.

Oh! "Kick me?"

I didn't even feel it.

You never do.

[gasps]

[guffawing]

It's not funny, Mitchell.

Could have slipped a disk, you know.

Why do we always seem to be

the butt of practical jokes?

Well, it's because

the dominant social group sees us as indifferent,

and therefore a thr*at to the stability of their status.

You've been reading up on this, haven't you?

[scoffs]

Ever since I found my locker filled

with prune custard and analgesic balm.

PRINCIPAL MILTY: Sorry to interrupt math class,

but I'd like to introduce a new student.

This is Laetitia Bowers.

I'm sure you'll all make her feel right at home.

[student coughs]

Now, my job here is done.

Being principal is such cake.

Nice to have you aboard, Laetitia,

and I hope you like the isosceles triangle.

Three lines looking for trouble.

Hmm, looks like there's an alien

bursting out of the tangelo.

Which is why I am calling it, "Alien Bursting out of Tangelo."

The idea was to paint a still life, not a disturbed one.

And this is supposed to be...

An ashtray.

But no one in your family smokes.

Oh, I'm going for the ironic statement.

[groans in exasperation]

Don't sweat it, Hoods.

The Impressionists were ridiculed at first,

but then they cleaned up.

Big time, from what I hear.

BRANDON: Hello, boys.

Nice alien bursting out of a tangelo, Carl.

Anyway, I want to give you two some invitations.

To... what?

My birthday party.

Sorry, Brando, can't take them right now--

dirty hands, might smudge.

Same here.

Maybe you should try back later.

Well, okay, if you think that'd be for the best.

Dodgedthat incoming.

Yah-hah.

Her father's a mortician, and there's no mother in sight.

What's that about?

You think he had something to do

with her disappearance?

That's what I'm thinking.

Who's your source in this?

My mother's cousin

is the school secretary's podiatrist.

And podiatrists have the best dirt.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway,

they live up above the mortuary/funeral home.

Do you think it was a real skull?

Of course!

And she had it at lunch.

And you notice how she doesn't talk?

Well, maybe it's because

she can't get a word in edgewise.

I mean, she's new.

Why should she say anything?

And has anybody even bothered to talk to her?

Because you're making a whole lot of mean comments

based on, well...

The loose lips of some foot fancier.

Yeah, that.

Well, I guess you'll be the first

to talk to her, Ginger,

and you can fill us all in.

Maybe I will.

[bell rings]

Oh!

Sorry about that.

Didn't want to be late for my next class.

At least you've got an excuse,

being new and everything.

By the way, I'm Ginger.

Laetitia.

Well, guess I better go.

Uh, nice meeting you.

Yeah, you... you, too.

Oh, hey, um, you want to hang out

at my place after school?

I mean, my friends and I can fill you in

on everything that's going on at good old Lucky Junior.

Sure.

My dad's picking me up,

but if you want, he can drop us off at your house.

He just has a quick errand to run first.

Sounds great.

Meet you out front after school.

Oh, great, now I'm late.

Ha! See you later.

Okay, no sign of Brandon.

Remember, Hoods, move fast

and keep low to the ground.

Right.

[yelling]

Sorry, dropped my lemon balls.

Well, since you're here, saved your invites.

And don't forget a timely RSVP.

Wow, talk about your neat handwriting.

And your waste of -pound cotton bond

because I say we dump them.

I don't know, Carl.

You're not going to say you feel bad, are you,

and that we have to go?

No, I'm not going to say I feel bad and that we have to go...

Except...

we have to go.

Why?

Because if we do,

and, you know, we bring a gift,

then he owes us presents on our birthdays,

and Brandon's cash-rich.

We could ask for something expensive.

I like your thinking, Hoods, I like it a lot.

An addition to the doghouse, perhaps.

Oh, sure, the doghouse.

It's always about whatyouwant.

And she was really nice,

so, anyway, I asked her to hang out with us

at my house.

Her dad's even going to give us a ride.

MIRANDA: Is that so?

Well, Ginger, I'm impressed.

I guess all that gossip didn't get to you.

I'm pretty hard to rattle.

Well, maybe you'll change your mind

about getting a ride from her

when you hear the Bowers hadto move.

Turns out there was quite a scandal.

Mr. Bowers embalmed someone who wasn't dead yet!

[gasps]

Mrs. Bowers... I knew it.

Oh, I just...

Not Mrs. Bowers.

It turns out they're divorced.

Ginger...

think you'll be rattled by that?

I, um, forgot something in my locker.

[door creaks]

Well, they finally left.

I can't believe I bailed on Laetitia.

Ginger, don't be so hard on yourself.

I mean, she commutes in a hearse,

she carries a skull.

Well, her father isa mortician,

and if anyone's supposed to understand

what it's like to be different, it's me,

and was I understanding?

Not one whit.

Ginger, you should not--

I repeat, not-- feel about what happened.

It was brave of you

to make the initial offer of friendship,

but really, a hearse?

Aveccoffin?

There's making an entrance,

and then there's making an entrance.

And that was definitely not making an entrance.

It's like we're all lining up against her, including me.

But Ginger, you didn't do anything.

Exactly.

Where is this

mortuary/ funeral home?

Fifth and Harbor.

Then Fifth and Harbor it is.

Ginger,wait.

Wait up, Ginger.

Why don't we get him some hair gel?

We could whip some up at home.

I've got some siphoned-off bacon grease

cooling in a coffee can.

I don't think Brandon uses hair gel.

And anyway, I'm opposed to the bodily use of pork products.

[sighs]

It would be easier

finding something for Mr. Licorice.

At least that monkey's got attitude,

a point of view, moxie.

In fact, Brandon could tear a page out

of the Mr. Licorice playbook.

Think he has one?

And this is the eternal journey model.

Um, Laetitia?

These coffins are great and everything,

but the real reason I came by was

to say I'm sorry for ditching out on you.

It's just that when I saw the hearse pull up, I...

My fault; I should have warned you

about that errand Dad had to run.

Does everyone at school think I'm strange?

To be honest,

the skull in math class had everyone... confused.

[laugh nervously]

They thought it was real.

It wasn't, was it?

[laughing]: No!

Plastic, from a novelty store.

My mom once told me

if you bring an interesting object to a situation

where you don't know anyone, it makes it easier

for people to strike up conversations with you.

See, I figured I'd get people asking about the skull,

then segue into my dad being a mortician.

My sense of humor, I guess.

And it's funny.

[laughs feebly]

Now that we understand it.

I don't think anyone understood it

at my last school, either.

So, um, where is your dad?

Downstairs working on Mr. Wiznitsky.

Are you sure he's dead?

Sorry.

Laetitia?

Now I should explain.

See, there's this story going around.

Um, your dad didn't once, um...

you know, kind of...

embalm someone while they were still alive, did he?

And then you got run out of town

by an angry mob and had to move here?

[laughs]

Yuck. No.

We moved here

because my dad got a great deal on the property.

It used to be a youth hostel.

[whistling]

Hiya, Muggy Doodle.

Hey, Dad, this is Ginger, Dodie and Macy,

new friends from school.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi! Cool house.

Hello, Mr. Bowers.

It's nice to meet you, ladies.

You know, I think there just might be

some homemade jelly bean and puffed rice bars in the kitchen.

Sir, you wouldn't kid about a thing like that, would you?

Never. Mortician's honor.

Wow, he's really nice.

With a droll wit.

And he didn't smell like embalming fluid at all.

Not that I thought he would.

Hey, maybe you should throw a party.

You know, let people get to know you and your world.

I mean, coming here sure helped me.

Socializing outside school, a far more relaxed atmosphere.

Excellent suggestion, Ginger.

Wow, you get me enough to do that?

I think I finally fit in somewhere.

But what if nobody comes?

What if they're too freaked out?

Well, I'll talk to them.

I'm kind of tight with some of the in crowd

and once the in crowd's in, so is everyone else, right?

[all laughing]

You think Mr. Licorice will like wintergreen?

Who wouldn't?

They spark when you chew them.

Trust me, he'll spend many a happy hour

keeping old Brandon awake.

GINGER: Can you believe how cool she is with it?

Why wouldn't she be?

Her dad's been a mortician her whole life.

And she's always lived above mortuaries.

GINGER: And now, a party at her place

on Saturday.

DODIE: Okay, let's start

putting together the set list.

I'm thinking we start with hip-hop,

move to contemporary pop

and then finish with something soulful.

Right, bring them up high, then ease them on down.

Hoods...

did... they... say...?

They said it, Carl!

Party at a mortician's!

On Saturday.

That's the same day as Brandon's.

You know, we should

take a moment to think about...

I'm all for bailing on Brandon.

Me, too.

GINGER: It's going fun,

so wear your dancing shoes.

You make it sound like we're going.

Aren't you?

Do you think

we'd be caught dead in a morgue?

[laughs]

Miranda, you just made a joke.

It isn't a morgue, it's a mortuary/funeral home.

And it's really nice.

I think you should know:

No one's going to this party.

But I told Laetitia I kind of had an in with the in-crowd.

If no one goes, I'll look really um...

Stupid?

Foolish?

Like a wannabe?

What I'm saying is,

people will go if you do, Courtney.

I mean, she's really excited

because I promised her people would come.

I'm afraid my hands are tied, Ginger.

You see, even though

I'm the acknowledged leader of my social stratum,

even I must occasionally conform

to the will of the group,

and since the group will not go,

neither will I.

I've got to get that book;

apparently, it's a must-read.

Aw, just when I thought I was kind of in,

they push me right back out.

But what am I going to tell Laetitia?

I really let her down.

Uh, listen, about this whole RSVP-thing, um...

We won't be doing it.

[wailing]

Wow, Carl.

Makes you wonder what RSVP stands for.

We still got a gift for you.

HOODSEY: And one for Mr. Licorice,

even though technically we didn't have to get him one.

[Brandon sniffling]

I want you boys to see something.

Do we have to?

Yeah, well, okay, sure, fine.

[wailing]

Now I'm going to be all by my lonesome, lonesome self

on my birthday, yes, I will!

You've got Mr. Licorice.

HOODSEY: Not the same thing, Carl.

Hoods, you're making it sound like we got...

[clears throat] excuse us, Brandon.

[weakly]: Okay.

All right, this time you're feeling bad, I can smell it.

But do you have any idea

what we'll be giving up if we go to Brandon's party?

Embalming fluid, instruments with hooks on the end,

weird stuff in jars.

You're over-thinking the time spread.

Brandon's party's in the afternoon.

The mortuary one isn't until later.

They'll only overlap a little.

Right!

You're a genius.

We go to Brandon's, stay a while,

then ditch out and crash Ginger's.

What a great idea.

I know, that's why I came up with it.

Well, Brandon, you're in luck.

Me and Hoods rearranged our schedule

and it looks like we'll be RSVP-ing after all.

I can't wait!

This'll be the best party ever,

even better than the time

we rented a lady monkey we called "Mrs. Licorice,"

and had ourselves a little monkey wedding,

♪ yes, we did.

I think I'm going to hurl.

DODIE: Maybe Laetitia should cancel.

You did promise her a crowd and, well...

there isn't going to be one.

Well, we're a crowd, kind of.

DARREN: Heard about everyone refusing

to go to Laetitia's party, so I'm here

to throw my hat into the ring as a definite attendee.

Aw, thanks, Darren.

I feel bad, because she thinks she fits in

and it turns out she doesn't.

What are you going to do?

There's just no convincing

the dominant social group.

That's why they're the dominant social group.

Unless we convince an even more dominant social group.

You want me and my friends to go to some tweener thing?

Uh-uh, no way.

But Will, I once crashed a party you were at.

Big, big, big, big, big difference, Little Red.

You crashed up.

I'd be crashing down.

MACIE: No arguing with that.

GINGER: Anyone got any more ideas?

Tell Laetitia the truth and be okay with it.

BRANDON: And thank you for all the presents

from Mommy and Daddy and Stuart

and Aunt Portia and Uncle Alex...

Do you think you could

tap the accelerator there a bit, Brandon?

And Carl and Hoodsey, amen.

Ditto.

Uh-huh.

By the handle, Brandon.

We don't want to cut ourselves.

Yes, Mommy.

[Mr. Licorice chattering]

How big a slice would you like?

This big?

Or this big?

Or this big?

Or this big?

Any size would be fine.

Tastes a bit... off.

You're just not used to dietetic sugar.

Real sugar can make little boys hyperactive.

Hey...

nice poured cement swimming hole

you've got there, Brando.

Bet you've got, like, tons of kids

coming to your door all summer long.

I've never heard of such a thing.

Aunt Portia-- sonic toothbrush.

Ah, just what every little boy needs--

a way to clean below the gumline.

And that's just what we'll say in the thank you card.

Good for you, Brandon.

Uh-uh-uh-- we don't put our feet

on the furniture in this house.

FATHER: Don't worry, honey.

I can edit him out.

So I'm really sorry I talked you into

throwing this party.

I think I sort of gave you the impression

I was in with the "in" crowd, and it turns out...

She isn't.

I didn't tell you because I wanted to avoid...

humiliating herself.

Thanks, Dodie-- humiliating myself.

I'm really sorry.

Well, I've got to admit I kind of had my hopes up

I was finally going to become popular,

but hey, as far as I'm concerned,

you guys are the "in" crowd.

You talked to me before anyone else did,

and since technically it only takes two to make a party...

We're practically a bash.

GINGER: Yeah, right.

A toast...

to the new "in" crowd.

[kids laugh and toast each other]

It's an original,

so you might want to hang it somewhere special.

Why, thank you, Carl.

I can see you worked very hard on this.

[softly]: I'll hang it

in the guest bedroom bathroom.

Hardly anyone ever goes in there.

[footsteps fade away]

Well, it's been a swell party, but, uh...

We've got other social obligations.

[gasps]

You can't leave!

Brandon, we did the cake, we did the gifts, what more is there?

Right, because we don't do games.

I... I have to tell you something.

My parents think I'm popular.

No way! Get out!

It's true.

I told them no one could come to my party

because they all suffered inner ear imbalances

when the carousel at the mall spun out of control

on account of the power surge.

Smooth lie.

Nice details.

So if you leave now, they'll get suspicious!

And I can't let my parents find out

I don't have any friends.

I'd be humiliated!!

[sobbing noisily]

Well, it's just that...

I mean, we've only got to...

See, there's this other...

[awkward pause]

[wailing hopelessly]

[sobbing]

No!

I can't help it, Carl.

I feel really bad.

Hey, Brandon, you're in luck.

See, it turns out there's this other

birthday party being thrown for you.

Really?

Don't run so fast.

My sandals are giving me blisters!

[panting]

You think we should have told him

where it's being held?

You want to play, you've got to pay.

Hey, Carl.

[panting]: Can't stop.

Got a mortuary shindig to crash.

WILL: Mortuary shindig?

You know someone who lives in a mortuary?

CARL: I said "crash."

Meaning we don't.

It's my sister's friend.

[rap music playing on car radio]

BRANDON: Gosh-darn socks.

[loud music continues]

[doorbell ringing]

GINGER: Courtney?

Hi, Ginger.

The thing of it is,

I got to thinking about what you said,

and I really hate it when I do that.

Basically, you made her feel guilty, spineless, amoral.

Yes, Miranda, I think we all get the point.

Anyway, your taking a stand

by going ahead with this party,

well, it made me want to take a stand, too.

Really?

Well, you know how I hate

being left out of anything,

although I'm still not entirely convinced.

Just pretend they're tanning beds.

But my party's upstairs.

I can hear people talking.

Well, uh, yeah...

You'd be right about that, uh, but, um...

But we have to crawl

through a window and sneak up onthem

because it's a reverse surprise party.

Uh-huh.

You don't miss a trick, do you, Brando?

[Courtney screams]

I told you we shouldn't have come.

That rumor was true.

[screaming]

Mr. Wiznitzsky.

[screaming]

COURTNEY: That's it.

I've taken a stand long enough--

I'm out of here.

Yo, Courtney.

Yo, yourself.

Not leaving already, are you?

Of course not.

Well?

You didn't say

this party was at a funeral home--

major selling point.

Ooh, check out the caskets.

GINGER: Carl, what were you doing down there?

CARL: Being profoundly moved.

Don't ask me how a minus turned into a plus.

[party music jamming]

Hey, drinks off the caskets, you'll leave water marks.

Right-- you stain it, you bought it.

[laughing]