♪
(Honking)
Whoa!
Whoa!
Ah!
♪
VICE-PRINCIPAL ZEIGLEROkay,
ahem, testing!
(Clearing throat)
Testing!
Is this thing on?
TOGETHERYes, it’s on!
It’s on!
Here’s your outgoing Student
President with an important
announcement.
Thank you, Vice-principal
Zeigler.
In the last week of my
presidency, I wish to remind
everyone that this is
Combination Lock Awareness Day.
(Feedback squeaking)
♪ If your locker lock
is grimy and dirty ♪
♪ And slimy
♪ Polish it up a bit
♪ And make it
nice and shiny ♪
Yo, get down.
Get down.
Get-- get down.
(Playing harmonica)
I have a theory that forcing
someone to be Student Body
President is the oldest form of
t*rture known to man.
Yeah.
Remember, Freshen Up Your Gym
Bag with a Squirt of Lime Week,
and Puff Your Cheeks Out To Show
How Much You Love Your School
Week?
Being President couldn’t be
more embarrassing if you had to
do it naked.
(Laughing)
What normal kid wants a job
where all you is humiliate
yourself?
Pelswick, are you voting for
me?
Duh, duh, I-- absolutely!
And let me say, I think you’ll
make a great School President.
(Squelching)
(Splattering)
Hi, Julie.
Great poster.
Thanks, Sandra.
I just want to say, even
though we’re competing for the
same job, I know silly politics
will never interfere with our
abiding friendship.
I feel the same way.
So you’ll wear on of my
buttons?
Of course I won’t wear one of
your stupid buttons!
Well, fine, be that way, you
stuck up cow!
Yah-ha-hey!
TOGETHEROoh!
(Slurping)
This spaghetti, like, doesn’t
have any taste.
Goon, that’s because you’re
sucking it up your nose.
(Squelching)
Oh.
(Squeaking)
That’s better.
Based on my admittedly small
statistical sampling, Sandra and
Julie are running neck and neck.
How many kids did you ask?
Uhhh, you and Goon.
You’re voting for Sandra
Scoddle?
Come on, Pelswick.
I have to vote for my own
sister.
Goon, you don’t have a
sister.
(Blinking)
She faked this picture?
No wonder she missed breakfast
this morning.
TOGETHEROpen your eyes!
Don’t be a droopy head!
A vote for Julie is a vote for a
poopy head!
(Cheering)
Humph!
Why would anyone use dirty
tricks to campaign for the
world’s worst job?
I know what I’d do if I was
voted Student President.
CHANTINGHurray!
(Flushing)
Pelswick, Pelswick, Pelswick,
Pelswick!
Hey, Smelswick, you got
something against dirty tricks?
Because that’s my favourite
thing in the whole world.
Next to dirty underwear,
apparently.
Hey, these were fresh last
month.
Look over there!
(Laughing)
Yah!
You fell for that again.
Hope you didn’t want your
dessert!
(Gulping)
And I hope you’re not
allergic to mustard.
Huh-huh, hee-hee!
(Spluttering)
(Squelching)
Actually, I don’t understand
you, Pelswick.
You think student politics is a
crock, but you’re supporting
Julie for President?
I can’t exactly explain it
myself, Ace.
It’s what she wants.
(Marching music playing)
Pelswick Eggert, you swine!
You turncoat, you sneaky, slimy
underhanded Benedict Arnold,
you!
Hi, Julie.
You told me you supported me
for President.
I do.
Then how come you’re running
yourself?
Dah!
My friends couldn’t have
nominated me.
They wouldn’t do this to me.
Why are you dressed like that?
Hmm-mmm.
Imagine how embarrassed I was to
discover I’d worn my
mustard-covered suit to work.
And luckily I found this in the
theatre arts room.
Ah, here we are,
"Nominated by Boyd Scullarzo."
Boyd?
But I don’t want the job.
We don’t always get what we
want, hmmm.
I have to drive home tonight
dressed as the Sugarplum Fairy.
Think about that.
Hmm?
Hee-hee, this is fun, though.
Wee!
(Laughing)
Wee!
(Laughing)
I’m the Sugarplum Fairy!
(Laughing)
Wee!
(Laughing)
I’m proud of you, kid.
You’ll make a great Student
President.
But I don’t want to be!
Gram-Gram, is your hearing aid
turned off?
Sorry, I can’t hear you.
I took out my hearing aid so I
didn’t have to hear myself
scream when I pulled off a
bandage.
(Tearing)
(Thwacking)
(Yelling)
Now I can’t remember where I put
it.
Give me that, you grinning
desk mop!
Once I’ve finished off all
the mice, then I’ll eat the
people.
Oh, I wish I’d been School
President, but I was too busy
with the football team.
You were a cheerleader?
Cheerleader, my hairy
bunions!
I was a fullback!
Hut, hut-hut!
(Cat yowling)
Hut, hut, hut!
Aarh!
Booya!
Smile!
Guh!
I’m covering your school
election for my civics class.
Plus Sandra Scoddle offered me
big bucks for photos of Julie
doing anything embarrassing.
Do you know where she usually
goes to pick her nose?
(Zapping)
Hiya.
Sorry about the threats.
I had this great sugarplum fairy
outfit but some dude covered in
mustered swiped it.
Something wrong; besides every
answer on my guardian angel
exam?
Boyd suckered me into a
school election, Julie’s angry
at me, Gram-Gram can’t hear me,
and I’m flashbulb blind.
You need one of my famous
anecdotes.
Could I just trade it in for
a bout of stomach flu?
There was this guardian
angel Barry who woke up on the
morning of the angel office
party and dance with a zit on
his forehead the size of a
Christmas light!
Ahh!
(Squelching)
Barry was bummed.
If he skipped the party, he’d
miss all the fun.
I’m talking door prizes, the
three winged race, hawking
loogies off of clouds on the
bald guys.
(Cheering)
Most of all, Barry wanted to
be picked Prince of the Dance
by the beautiful Princess
Sparklegert.
Sparklegert?
But with his throbbing
forehead plum, what were his
chances of being chosen now?
That’s it!
Just because I’m running doesn’t
mean I have to be chosen.
Thanks.
I didn’t finish!
My car.
Where’s my car?
If elected, I’ll lobby for a
second school nurse to care for
students who faint after seeing
poor test results.
(Clapping)
(Cheering)
(Thudding)
(Band playing)
I’m Pelswick Eggert.
I’m running for Student Body
President, and I don’t want
your vote!
(Laughing)
No, really, I’m voting for Julie
Smockford, and you should too.
He sounds real honest.
I’d vote for him.
Hmm!
Glad to see you finally got
into the election spirit.
Have you seen my car?
I, Sandra Scottle, should be
elected your President, and to
prove it, here’s a revealing
photo of my opponent lying down
eating schoolyard dirt!
ALLOh!
Oh, no!
(Cash register dinging)
You’ve got to believe me.
As much as I’d love to spend
every day after school sucking
up to teachers instead of
hanging with my friends, I don’t
want this job!
I want you to be President.
I’m sorry.
I’m so ashamed.
I should never have doubted you.
I actually can’t believe it.
You hired a professional
campaigner to help you win?
What?
I-I-I didn’t hire anyone.
Then who’s that babe handing
out free candy with your picture
on it?
Yarr-harr!
Hang five, baby!
sh**t the curve!
sh**t the curve.
Booya!
Hang five, baby!
Yee-harr!
(Skidding)
(Crashing)
Vote for Pelswick.
Wow, she actually blew up the
chem lab.
Yay!
Way to go!
(Cheering)
Now you’ll be elected for
sure.
(Nervous laughing)
PELSWICKMy life is over; my
life is over not.
My life is over; my life is over
not.
My life is over; my life is over
not.
Your election’s going to get
me an "A"corruption, dirty
tricks, blind ambition, all in
glorious colour photos.
Want to see ’em?
Leave them in my room.
I’ll look at them later while
I’m sobbing into my pillowcase.
Okay, see you, Mr. Future
President.
Oh.
Whoa!
Ah!
Nice catch.
(Crashing)
Congrats.
I hear you have a percent
lead.
That’s a percent lead in dog
elections.
But I don’t want to be
President!
Why not?
Because you spend all your
free time doing dumb
embarrassing things to promote
pointless activities.
Hi, I’m a prune, the fun new
dessert.
Eat me for better student
health.
Prunes do have essential
minerals, plus the mysterious
Vitamin Wrinkly.
I don’t care.
I have to lose this election.
Which reminds me of Barry the
Angel.
(Groaning)
MR. JIMMYZit city, right?
He tries everythinglotions,
creams, a hammer.
He even tries putting eyes and
a hat on it to pretend it’s a
guy reading over his shoulder.
No-go.
It’s going to cause this whole
scandal, right, and Princess
Sparklegert will never pick him
for the big dance.
That’s it.
I need a scandal so I don’t get
picked.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
(Screeching)
That still wasn’t the end,
again!
(Drilling)
(Clanking)
(Puffing)
Hi, Mr. Z.
What are you doing?
I had to take a job selling
ice cream so I could get to
work.
Has anyone seen my car, and
would anyone like a Creamy
Bunny?
(Squelching)
(Bell dinging)
Oh, what’s that?
A victory sculpture I made
you from day-old cafeteria
potatoes.
I got hungry and ate the flag
you were waving.
What are you doing?
Hotwiring the PA to make a
fake announcement that will get
me thrown in detention, or if
I’m lucky, in jail.
(Tires screeching)
Oh, good luck.
What’s up?
I need you to get a photo of
me being dragged away in
disgrace by my scandalized
former supporters.
No problem.
Is this thing on?
TOGETHERYes, it’s on!
Good morning--
Attention, this is Pelswick
Eggert hijacking your
announcements.
I shall now insult everyone in
the school in alphabetical
order.
Aaron Arbuckle, your feet
stink.
(Students laughing)
Alice Harrinson, who are you
kidding with that hair?
(Students laughing)
GRAM-GRAMVote for Pelswick!
Whah?
GRAM-GRAMBooya!
Vote for Pelswick; he’s your
man.
If he can’t do it-- (stuttering)
(Dentures clacking)
Gram-Gram, no!
Holy cow, Vice-principal
Zeigler’s car’s on the roof.
(Laughing)
My car, my lovely
vroom-vroomy car!
(Laughing)
If I can only prove you did
this!
I didn’t!
Ha-ha, great prank, man.
I’ll vote for you twice, even
though you insulted my stinky
feet.
Way to go, Pelswonk!
You’re still going to be School
President when you’re in
college!
(Laughing)
Actually, according to my
statistical analysis, if you
subtract Julie and Sandra, you
now have . percent of the
vote.
(Laughing)
GRAM-GRAM’S VOICEVote for
Pelswick!
The scandal didn’t ruin me;
it made me a hero.
So Barry gets to the dance,
right?
He’s tried to hide Senior
Pimpel, but forget it.
It’s huge; it’s shiny.
(Laughing)
It comes time for the
Princess to pick her prince.
She’s looking at a crowd full
of identical angels, all in
white with wings.
Ah, that was me on the right.
It was before the beard.
She can’t choose, then she
spots Barry at the back.
There’s something different
about him, something she can’t
put her finger on, which is
probably just as well, so she
says:
I choose him at the back
with the throbbing melon-sized
zit.
(Kissing)
And they boogied late into
the night.
The end.
That’s the most bogus story I
ever heard.
No girl picks a guy with a yo-yo
sized zit on his face.
That’s not the point.
What he thought was his biggest
problem turned out to be the
solution to his problem; get it?
No, I don’t get it.
Boyd is my problem.
Do you think for some crazy
reason he’s going to go to
school and un-nominate me for
President?
Would you like to hear
about my Aunt Gertrude and
her marshmallow-sized bee sting?
I aced my assignment.
"A festering stew pot of
intrigue" said my teacher.
Good for you.
No, really, that’s great.
(Sighing)
I need to show you something.
Unless it’s a ticket to
Venezuela , I’m not interested.
They could throw me out of
the Little Sister Union for
being nice to you like this, but
here.
MR. JIMMY’S VOICE"The
problem is the solution."
Ready?
(Car screeching)
(Yelling)
(Crashing)
I’ve got to hand it to you,
Boyd.
You hit me where it hurts.
Thanks, Eggert.
You inspired me.
I used to be your ordinary
bully, just b*ating people up,
but since I can’t punch a
cr*pple--
Actually I prefer the
term "permanently seated."
Whatever.
I had to get creative.
I had to specialize.
From now on, I’m focusing my
bullying on mental t*rture and
humiliation!
That’s so beautiful.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Sandra and Julie,
and Vice-principal Zeigler.
How come we’ve got a
Vice-principal but no Principal?
Well, it’s time to stop
clowning around-- (honking)
and vote, after we hear from our
last candidate.
Uh, has anyone seen Pelswick
Eggert?
TOGETHERPelswick!
Pelswick, Pelswick!
(Cheering)
Ha-ha, what a sucker.
(Crowd cheering)
Thanks for saving me a seat
but I brought my own.
(Audience laughing)
My speech is short and sweet
because I know what you want.
You’re kids.
You’re rebellious.
You want to elect the guy who
stole the Vice-principal’s car.
STUDENTYeah!
You want to elect the guy who
took that car and put it on the
roof.
TOGETHERYeah, yeah!
You want to elect Boyd
Scullarzo.
Yeah!
(Laughing)
TOGETHERBoyd, Boyd, Boyd,
Boyd, Boyd!
I’ve added his name to all
the ballots.
He’s the obvious choice, so go
out there and vote, vote, vote!
No, don’t for for me!
Ahhh!
Come back!
Pelswick.
I know, you misunderstood my
intentions, but now you see I
always supported you, and you’ll
never doubt me again.
Well, yeah, but also you’ve
got a huge zit on your nose.
Duh!
Guess what?
Barry and Sparklegert are
getting hitched.
Thank them for me, will you?
Hey, you know what’s good for
that.
No, what?
Hiding in a really dark room.
So Boyd won in a landslide,
but he was disqualified.
It was so great.
I got an "A."
Julie’s ruling in his place
while he spends the year
cleaning the bathrooms.
That’s an "A"!
That’s wonderful, Kate,
especially since in our gender
biased society, females-- oh,
I’m sorry, the moustache
impaired-- have to work twice as
hard as the bicycle crossbar
endowed.
Where’s Gram-Gram?
When you finish gathering
those acorns...
vote for Pelswick!
And get me a fireman, a cute
one with big hairy arms and
a red convertible.
Honk-honk!
♪
01x02 - I Won't Run, Don't Ask Me
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Series is about the title character, who uses a wheelchair, emphasizing that he lived a normal life. It was based on the books created by John Callahan.
Series is about the title character, who uses a wheelchair, emphasizing that he lived a normal life. It was based on the books created by John Callahan.