02x13 - Invasion of The Buddy Snatchers

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Honking)

Whoa!

Whoa!

Ah!

♪

(Sighing)

Surely, people will one day

realize the only thing less

biodegradable than a foam

hamburger box is a cafeteria

hamburger.

(Exploding)

(Chewing)

(Belching)

PELSWICKJulie!

(Panting)

I got you another one.

Thanks Pelswick!

You’re a true friend of the

planet.

I emptied it for you.

I think it’s great that you’re

the Bayview recycling warden.

(Gasping)

(Whistling)

Paper plate, Eric Slaver!

I also got you these pieces

of aluminum foil.

You environmentally rock!

They put these through a

step chemical process and after

hours they come out the other

end as braces for free range

farm animals.

Where did you get them?

The big one was over Old Mrs.

Lunquist’s kitchen window!

She put it there to keep aliens

from controlling her dog’s mind.

(Gasping)

They’ve come for you.

Don’t worry, I’ll save you Mr.

Bozzle.

Doesn’t it feel great to

recycle?

(Slurping)

Well, if it isn’t the do

goody do gooder good person

club!

Yowch, ooh, way to insult

there, Boyd.

Rarely have I felt so severely

zinged.

Recycling is stupid!

This stuff’s garbage.

That’s why we throw it away.

(Gasping)

(Whistling)

Boyd, aluminum cans go in the

blue box.

Guess you’ll have to fish it

out or get Ramp-o to drive in

and get it for you.

(Laughing)

I don’t know how Bayview won

the national recycling award

five years in a row with people

like that living here!

ACEHey, Julie.

I found this big lump of tin

foil in the park next to a fire

hydrant.

(Barking)

There is, like, absolutely

nothing zero-ly triple t-minus

zippo zilcho to do in this town.

Hm.

What about the science centre

and the library?

Library?

Ooh, grow a life.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Goon.

Hey, man.

Hey.

Friends, I want to share a

happy opportunity with you.

Have you heard of Hammerlock

Detergent?

Which is used by every member of

the Galactic Wrestling League.

That’s why they call it the

meaner scrubber!

Goon, are you okay?

I have never been better or

potentially richer in my life.

Richer, how?

Richer with money!

(Laughing)

I get a cut of all sales of

detergent, body slam deodorant,

and lady body slam lightly

perfumed torso spray.

(Hissing)

(Coughing)

Plus for every new person I

sign up, I’m entered in a draw

to meet a GWL legend like the

Tobogganator.

(Cheering)

(Screaming)

Step on the Tobogganator and

you go downhill fast.

Here are just some of the

success stories.

ANNOUNCERMr. Todd Morten

who once eked out a living as a

sheepdog’s companion now owns

three and a half Rolls Royces,

and has taken rumba lessons

from Ricky Martin’s aunt.

Goon, it’s kind of hard to

see that in the daylight.

So, you want to sign up and

become a future millionaire like

me?

At this time I think I’ll

pass.

Actually, me too.

Like, pass-a-rooni.

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh, ma’am.

I’d like to share a happy

opportunity with you.

Ooh, and your cute little

monkey.

(Punching)

GOONOw.

Orangutan?

(Punching)

(Whimpering)

I think Goon’s become the

victim of a pyramid scheme.

I wonder how something like

that get’s started.

Well, one person tells two

other people they can make a

fortune selling something no one

needs.

Like Goon’s wrestler

detergent.

ACEYeah, or vitamins,

toothpaste, or lunchbox mates

the talking sandwich companion.

I remember those.

Like, what goof head would

actually buy a talking toy to

keep their lunch company?

Now you won’t be lonely Mr.

Ham and Cheese with extra

radicchio.

He’s going to eat you, hide

behind the dessert cookie.

If no one wants the product,

how do these two people, like,

make money?

By talking four more people

into selling whatever it is.

But then those four people have

got to find eight people and

they’ve got to find sixteen.

Eventually everyone’s selling

it, nobody’s buying and they all

go broke except for the guy who

started the pyramid.

What a scam!

Completely.

They should’ve sold yo-yo

earrings instead.

(Slide whistle sounding)

They’re going to be huge.

Whoa!

(Crashing)

Hey Gram Gram, what’s going

on?

Aw, there’s nothing to do

around here.

So I’m trying to teach this

stupid cat how to play dominos.

Your turn, you big hairball!

What are you waiting for cat

Christmas?

When you yell your tongue

looks like a big flopping tuna.

Aye, Pelswick.

Welcome home from school.

I will now sing the alphabet.

A, G, C, D, E, F, G.

Wow, I’m truly impressed.

You actually found something

you’re worse at than being a

guardian angel.

This is Mr. McDavid, he’s

made of scotch pine.

Pretty funny, huh?

Heh, not yet.

Listen, a friend of mine is

getting involved in something

that might not go over very

well.

Speaking of not going over

very well, you should’ve seen us

last night.

Luckily I wasn’t there.

(Laughing)

That audience was brutal.

You weren’t there?

(Booing)

You’re awful, get off the

stage!

I haven’t been hit that hard

since I was a tree.

(Laughing)

A tree!

They told me not to come back.

You mean?

That’s right, I was fired.

Wood!

Are you sure he can hear?

Until right now I thought the

worst act I’d ever seen was

Lester Farkel and his trained

turkey dancers.

(Gobbling)

If you’re not going to give me

advice for Goon, go somewhere

and practice.

Our act?

Ducking.

See you.

(Sighing)

Clear.

Good job.

Hard to believe that before I

started this city wide campaign

people just threw their

recyclables in the trash.

What’s hard to believe is

that I, like, managed to make

yo-yo earrings work with a hoop

skirt.

I’m sure Goon will realize

it’s just a scam.

Don’t count on it.

Remember, Goon’s still a member

of the "Buy Another Piece of

Ladder Every Month to Reach the

Moon Club."

(Grunting)

(Sighing)

Not quite.

Ooh, maybe next month.

Okay, but face it.

He’s never going to talk two

more people into selling some

wrestler laundry detergent.

And when he sees that he’ll

quit, right?

Happy opportunity.

Simon, these are my friends

Pelswick and Ace.

How’d you like to become

involved in the selling

opportunity of a lifetime?

They’re mine, Simon.

Try the waitresses.

Harvey Krim, who’s one level

above me, made a six figure

income last year.

And got a two minute hug from

GWL Legend Man Mountain Marvin.

Ooh.

It’s true.

(Coughing)

You can come in at the entry

level for bucks.

MANFries up!

GOONOoh, the kitchen staff.

They must’ve saved up a fortune

from reusing the straws.

Ooh, hi.

Can I get another fork?

This one has some egg on it.

SIMONHappy opportunity.

(Screaming)

♪ Hammerlock, oh Hammerlock

♪ Just use one little pinch and

away go grease and grime and

sweat and slime and all that

stench ♪

Happy opportunity.

This is getting borderline

freaky.

Reminds me of that black and

white movie where everyone in

town turned into pod people.

ALLHappy opportunity.

(Grunting)

(Gasping)

(Grunting)

Happy opportunity.

JULIEThanks for letting us

tour the recycling plant.

I don’t know why we never did it

before.

’Cause it’s, like, boring and

smelly?

After the materials are

separated where do they go next?

Hop in the recycle mobile,

ladies, and I’ll show you.

Very impressive.

Where does it go from here?

What do you mean from here?

This is it.

This is it?

All your hard work and

blowing that annoying whistle

helped make it all possible.

This is just another garbage

dump.

Oh no, the garbage dump’s on

that side of the fence.

This is a recycling dump.

Pelswick, what do you know

about Hammerlock?

Why?

Are you dropping out of school

to sell it?

No.

Hammerlock’s for fools, but

there’s no better customer than

a fool.

That’s why I’m selling these.

a*t*matic nose tappers to free

your hands to hold more boxes

of...what is that stuff anyway?

Detergent.

Oh yeah.

Well, anyway, two days ago there

were three yokels selling it.

Yesterday there was , and

today there’s ,.

ALLHappy opportunity.

This nut ball fad’s going to

put me in private school!

I may have to change my name to

Catherine.

Get your nose tapping hats, you

lunatics!

It’s nice to see not

everybody in town is turning

into a slogan chanting zombie.

ACEHi, Pelswick.

Hey, Ace.

Want to sh**t some roof hoops?

Actually, happy opportunity.

(Gasping)

Not you too!

MAYORYoung lady, Bayview

has won the National Recycling

Award five years in a row.

But we’re not recycling!

For it to be recycled you have

to do something with it!

Do something with it?

It’s garbage!

No it’s not!

The garbage is next door.

That acres of stinking refuse

can be reused as a...well a--

Will you stop that!

(Screaming)

Well, if you can think of

something to do with it you can

have it!

Happy opportunity.

Happy opportunity.

Happy opportunity.

Happy opportunity.

Happy opportunity.

MAN & WOMANHappy

opportunity.

When is this going to stop?

Tough crowd last night.

I tell you.

They would’ve booed fireworks.

You were there this time?

Uh-huh, but this time Mr.

McDavid couldn’t make it.

Say, Mr. McDavid, who was

that lady I saw you with last

night?

(Scottish accent)That was

no lady, that was your other

arm.

(Booing)

This is probably a stupid

question, but have you given any

thought to what I said about my

friend’s being brainwashed into

selling detergent?

Maybe I should rehearse more

in front of a mirror.

Maybe you should rehearse

more together.

Okay, what am I going to do?

What am I going to do?

I know, Vice Principal Zeigler.

He’ll know what to do about

this.

Oh, that’s right, no moon.

I’d better come back tonight.

Then again, maybe not.

Oh, Mrs. Doorhammer, I, uh--

Happy opportunity.

(Gasping)

PELSWICKMr. Mayor!

Mr. Mayor!

There’s something going on in

town that I think you should--

(Beeping)

Happy opportunity!

(Beeping)

We need to do something with

all these crushed cans, boxes,

bottles, and newspapers.

We could, like, build a

bridge out of it.

Build a bridge out of it?

Build a bridge out of it?

(Laughing)

Why don’t we just build a

playground, or a mall, or a

recreation centre while we’re at

it!

(Laughing)

That’d be, like, cool.

That’s it!

Let’s build a recreation centre!

It’s beautiful.

It’s so, like, me.

(Creaking)

Good night, and happy

opportunity.

That’s not my hat, that’s a

cheap knock off nose tapping

hat!

It doesn’t even tap his nose, it

just hangs there.

(Dialling)

Barry, babe, sue everyone!

They can’t get away with this.

I want compensation.

This is great.

Hammerlock’s bringing the

community together.

What?

Yeah, and at tonight’s

meeting someone is going to win

a pair of Disgustingly Evil

Clarence’s shorts.

Not them too.

What am I going to do?

My own family’s become detergent

selling zombies!

JIMMYNow for your

entertainment I’ll recite a

poem while Mr. McDavid drinks a

glass of water.

Shall I compare thee to a

summer’s day?

(Coughing)

Breathe, breathe.

It worked fine last night.

We would’ve k*lled if there had

been an audience.

I’m funny, Mr. McDavid’s funny,

the audience looks funny.

I wish I knew what this act

needs.

Have you ever thought maybe

it needs all three things in the

same place at the same time?

You know, you, McDavid, and the

audience?

Thanks again for all your help

with my problem.

I’ve got to go find Julie.

PELSWICKJulie, Sandra.

(Sighing)

Thank goodness I found you.

You’ve got to help me.

The whole town’s fallen into

that...that--

What is that?

It’s a recreation centre for

the town.

Do you like it?

It’s, um, very modern.

Uh, what’s holding it together?

Like, what do you mean?

I mean did you nail it, or

bolt it, or what?

We didn’t have nails and

bolts, Pelswick.

They’re not recyclable.

(Creaking)

ALLHappy opportunity, happy

opportunity, happy opportunity.

Sue him, and him, and that

guy, and her!

(Murmuring)

Happy opportunity, friends!

ALLHappy opportunity.

I have some great news.

I only need more

sub distributors to start making

money.

(Cheering)

This is the last person in

town who isn’t already a

salesperson.

Person.

What are we going to do?

We have no one to sell to!

(Murmuring)

We need to charter a huge bus

and travel the world and find

more people to sell too.

(Cheering)

But we have no money to

charter a bus.

(Gasping)

There’s a building collapsing

by the dump.

They’ve called in rescue workers

from out of town.

We can sell Hammerlock to the

firemen!

(Murmuring)

(Creaking)

(Sirens wailing)

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.

Why would you spray water on

this?

Because, we’re firemen.

(Gasping)

(Murmuring)

Happy opportunity, big boy.

(Murmuring)

ALLHappy opportunity.

(Coughing)

(Spitting)

(Gasping)

Oops.

It’s the Commandments of

selling detergent.

(Gasping)

Huh?

This isn’t detergent, it’s quick

drying cement.

(Gasping)

Hey, you’ve all been scammed!

This isn’t detergent, it’s quick

drying cement.

(Gasping)

It’s a crooked pyramid

scheme.

Crooked pyramid?

Have you ever thought maybe it

needs all three things in the

same place at the same time?

That’s the answer!

Pour the detergent and the water

on the garbage!

It’s not garbage, it’s

recycling!

(Murmuring)

(Cheering)

(Creaking)

I hereby declare this

recreation centre officially

open!

(Cheering)

I can’t believe Hammerlock

was just a scam.

I’ll never get involved in

something that dumb again.

So, Julie, what are you

going to do with all these empty

Hammerlock boxes?

Ooh, if you can wait ’til

tonight I’ll carry them all up

to the moon for you.

♪