01x02 - Parental Bonding

[bunniefuu]

Hey, dad. What are you doing?

Danny, keep it down.

You'll scare away the ghosts.

It's the fenton ghost fisher.

I'm fishing for ghosts.

Check out this line.

Coated with a special high test

Ectoplasmo resin that ghosts can't break.

Quiet now.

Don't want to spook 'em.

[Stomach rumbles]

Oh! That soda goes right through you

Like sherman through georgia.

Here! Hang on to this.

I'll be right back after I use the fenton urinal.

Oh, no.

[Straining]

[Growl]

[Roaring]

Dad?

I want to go!

Dad!

I have to go!

You'll have to stand in line

Behind my dad.

In the meantime...

All I wanted

Was to go the princess costume ball.

And my horrid mommy won't let me!

If that dragon suit is her idea of a costume,

I'm on mommy's side.

Phew!

Man, that's a relief.

I'll tell you what a relief is...

Darn, I almost forgot!

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom, danny phantom ♪

♪ Yo, danny fenton, he was just ♪

♪ When his parents built a very strange machine ♪

♪ It was designed to view a world unseen ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ When it didn't quite work, his folks, they just quit ♪

♪ Then danny took a look inside of it ♪

♪ There was a great big flash, everything just changed ♪

♪ His molecules got all rearranged ♪

♪ Phantom, phantom

♪ When he first woke up, he realized ♪

♪ He had snow white hair and glowing green eyes ♪

♪ He could walk through walls, disappear, and fly ♪

♪ He was much more unique than the other guys ♪

♪ It was then that he knew what he had to do ♪

♪ He had to stop all the ghosts that were coming through ♪

♪ He's here to fight for me and you ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all because he's danny phantom ♪

♪ Gonna catch 'em all 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ Gonna catch 'em all 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

[Bell ringing]

Hey, there. Hi!

No!

Hi, would you--forget it.

No!

I didn't ask you yet!

Strike , tuck?

Try strike ,.

I don't know what the big deal is

About going to some stupid dance.

I don't need to be asked to some dance

To know I'm special.

I--

What?

Both: paulina!

[Rings bell]

Ooh!

Whoa!

Both: paulina.

Oh, please!

Paulina?!

Girls like her are a dime a dozen!

How much change you got?

Ha ha! Very funny.

Just remember:

You can't judge a book by its cover.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Go on, danny.

Go to that library and check out that book!

I can't!

I get weak-kneed when I try

To talk to cute girls.

Oh, and you have absolutely no problems talking to me.

Uh... Skip it!

Go give your weak knees some exercise.

[Inhales deeply]

Hi!

I...

Oof!

Oh!

Please!

Don't say you've suddenly fallen for me.

That line is so last semester.

Yeah.

I mean, no. That's not it.

I'm...

I'm danny.

[Laughter]

Ha ha ha!

A gentleman usually tips his hat,

But I'll give you points for originality.

Kudos, danny.

You just set an all-time speed record

For drowning in the shallow end of the gene pool.

Oh, no!

You did not just call me shallow, did you?!

If you mean do you think I can stand

In a puddle full of you

And not get my feet wet,

Then yeah.

Shallow. I am not shallow.

[Grunts]

On the other hand,

I'm not so deep that I couldn't lure a boy

Away from a goth geek.

And I will.

[Bell ringing]

Thanks to you,

I now know the quickest way to a woman's heart--

Clean boxers.

[Sighs]

Man, I blew it yesterday.

Paulina probably won't even look at me now.

Yoo-hoo, danny!

Guys: aah!

Or not!

Hey, tuck? I get it.

I'm out. Good luck.

Hi, you. Ha ha!

I just wanted to...

Meet me?

Who doesn't?

Dash baxter.

All-star quarterback

And school hero.

I'm also--

In dash's body?

Excuse me?

Right!

Of course!

I'm also president of the casper high

Geek club, and I have every toenail I've ever clipped.

Want to see 'em?

No.

Oh, than you should get to know danny fenton.

He doesn't scrub his mom's feet every night

Like I do.

Eew!

Get lost, loser!

Why do I suddenly feel like scrubbing my mom's feet?

Aah!

We have to stop meeting like this.

Oh, my gosh!

What's that?

That? Oh!

Uh, it's a...

You like it?

It's beautiful!

Hey, that's great!

Because i, uh, got it for you.

Really?!

Yeah.

Uh...in case I got the nerve

To ask you to the dance

And you said yes.

I thought I'd want to give you something

And that's what it would have been.

It's for you--ha--

Whether you go with me or not.

Well, you are kind of cute

And you have great taste in underwear.

I'd love to go with you.

What am I doing?

That thing doesn't belong to me.

It could be my mom's--

Or my sister's.

Bye, danny. See you!

Or I could worry about that later

Because she said yes!

Woo-hoo!

Pantless again, mr. Fenton?

Third time this week I've caught you--

How do you kids say it?

Dropping trou.

I think it's time I saw your father

For a parent-teacher conference.

Oh, man. My dad?

Until then, here.

It will help you keep your pants up and...

Out of trouble with the man.

Danny: catch anything, dad?

Son, I couldn't catch a cold.

I've been sitting here all day

Without a single bite.

Uh--

I'm so frustrated I want to take out my rage

On the first person who gives me bad news.

Anyway, you wanted to tell me something?

Well, sort of.

Mr. Lancer--

Mr. Lancer what?

Is this bad news?

Mr. Lancer...

Wants to have a word with us!

Thank you for coming to discuss

Your son's schooling, mr. Fenton.

Well, sure!

I'm a parent, and that's...

What parents do.

Uh, right?

Well, there were a couple of incidents...

With his pants.

Did his pants fall down again?

Poor danny.

He studies so hard he forgets to eat.

I know these things because I'm his dad

And not him.

Hmm.

That would explain things.

It worked?

I-i-i mean, of course you understand.

No wonder you're danny's favorite teacher.

I am?

We fentons consider teachers to be underpaid

And under-appreciated.

I like your style, mr. Fenton.

In fact, I'd like you to chaperone

The upcoming school dance.

Chaperone?

Well, I'm not sure--

I am.

See you friday.

Or as the kids say,

Catch you later, g!

Mmm!

No.

So, your dad is going to chaperone the dance?

Yes, but he doesn't know

He's going to chaperone because

He doesn't remember that I made him say yes!

Let me get this straight.

You can just walk into people

And take over their bodies

From the inside?

Yeah, pretty much.

Hey, danny,

If you could control a girl

For just about two minutes...

Forget it.

You can get your own date for the dance

Like I did.

Does he have to take off his pants

And act like a dweeb?

Or will either one do?

[Gasps]

I've just got to have one of these!

They're so unique!

Miss?

Do you have this in a size small?

Ooh, sorry.

We just sold our last small

Of this corduroy button-down fleecy tee

To someone else.

Will you be getting any more soon?

The abyss corduroy button-down fleecy tee

Has been discontinued.

If you haven't already got one

You are doomed to languish as a toxic social outcast

For a period of no less than

And no more than weeks.

[Giggles]

Sorry.

Weeks!

Want fleecy tee!

[Screaming]

Honestly, guys, I'm glad I'm not going to the stupid dance.

Saves me the embarrassment

Of wearing the lame dress my parents bought me.

[Nervous laugh]

So, no one's asked you, huh?

Maybe if I was as pretty as paulina.

Why are you so down on her?

So she's pretty. It's not a crime.

Looks are deceiving, danny.

[Screaming]

Ghost time.

Can I finish your fries?

Say, haven't we met somewhere?

[Roars]

[Snarling]

Let's try this again.

Hi, I'm danny phantom.

And you are?

[Roaring]

[Screams]

Testy, got it.

Sorry, dude!

I think you got the wrong weenie.

Must have tee!

Tea? Ooh, good idea.

Coffee could make you a mite jittery.

Better yet...

Have some punch!

Aah!

Oh. Whoa!

What hit me?

Hey! My amulet!

Hey! My fleecy tee!

They must have had it in my size!

I guess good things happen

When you maintain a positive attitude.

Danny!

Are you ok?

Fine.

But that's the second time

I've fought that dragon.

We need to investigate.

How are you guys?

Great...

If you don't count me still being dateless

For the dance.

Sasha, no. Denise, no.

I've hit every girl in school

Except...

Valerie.

Yeah, hi. Sucker, is it?

Tucker.

Or tuck.

Or tuckerino.

Which ends with "no."

Which, by the way, is my answer--

Unless something happens in the next minutes

That makes me dateless.

You'll never guess what happened!

Donna said she'd go to the dance with me,

So you're dateless!

You're on.

I'll take it!

Some may call it the rebound,

But I call it a yes!

I got a date!

Whoo!

And the pants are still on!

Dad: I don't understand why I have to wear this stupid thing.

Woman: because it's danny's first dance, jack.

If we're gonna chaperone this thing

We have to make sure we don't embarrass him.

How would we embarrass him?

I think it's great when you guys

Do anything that doesn't have

Something to do with your sick obsession with ghosts.

Funny.

I don't even remember

Volunteering to chaperone the dance.

It's all a vague blur.

By the way, danny,

Just so you know,

I'm on to your little secret.

What?!

What-what secret?

The clumsiness, the nervousness.

I can't believe I didn't figure it out before.

You have a girlfriend.

It's a lie, I'm not a ghost!

I-i mean...

She's not my girlfriend.

She's just going to the dance with me.

That's great!

I can meet her and talk to her about ghosts.

You better let her know

Your family's insane now, danny.

If you marry her and she finds out later,

That's entrapment.

[Sighs]

I better go get ready.

Ok, so I'm gonna have to dance with paulina

And keep my dad from embarrassing me.

I can handle that.

[Beeping]

Tie straight.

Shirt tucked in.

Unbreakable ghost fishing line

Tucked neatly away just in case.

What's taking so long with that dragon research, sam?

All right! Jeez!

Here. I'm sending you the link.

That's it!

Medieval ghostly legend

Held that the cursed amulet of aragon

Could transform any wearer into dragon form

Under states of extreme emotional duress or anger.

That's the amulet I gave to paulina.

It must have accidentally fallen into my backpack.

Wait. You mean...

I'm going on a date with a dragon?

Like I said, looks are deceiving.

I'm sure you boys will have a wonderful evening.

She really wants to go to the dance.

But she says she didn't want to!

We're her best friends.

We should have known.

Well, there's nothing we can do

About it now, right?

No way. Forget it.

Absolutely not. No!

Tucker?

What are you doing here?

Where's valerie?

She kind of cancelled on me.

Do you think we could go together--

You know, as friends?

Uh, I don't know.

This is so last minute.

And I do have plans, and--

Well, I understand if you don't want to go.

Ok, but only because you got stood up.

I go change into that dumb dress

I wasn't going to wear.

See ya!

That is so unfair!

And as soon as sam comes back

I'm gonna...[Door opens]

Come on, we're gonna be late!

Yeah!

Paulina,

About the amulet.

It's an ancient family heirloom

And I need to get it back.

[Sighs]

No, that stinks.

[Door creaks]

Uh, hi.

Uh, you must be paulina's dad.

If you upset her,

We're going to have a violent talk.

Paulina: papa?

You're scaring him.

Come on, danny.

We're going to be late.

Have a wonderful evening, baby.

I know where you live.

And I'm glad we had a chance to chat.

[Dance music playing]

[Cheering]

Let's get down with our bad selves.

Yo.

Shake that thing.

Hey, g,

You're my dog.

Paulina, I was thinking...

That amulet--

Isn't it fabulous?!

I haven't taken it off since you gave it to me.

Yeah, well, about that--

See, I shouldn't have given it to you

In the first place because...

It belongs to sam.

[Growls]

Uh...

But I want to make it up to you.

I'll get you something else--

Something more special.

Mr. Fenton!

About our conversation the other day

Concerning danny.

Like punch!

I'm gonna get you some special punch.

Yes! Danny, what a fine boy he is!

Ha! Yes, as his father,

I get that all the time.

Jack, you sound kind of strange.

Oh, must be something I ate.

Hey, how 'bout I get us some punch?

Excuse me! Excuse me!

Adult coming through.

I shave every day.

Tucker, sam,

We've got trouble.

We had nothing to do with it, mr. Fenton.

It was all danny's idea.

Tucker, it's me. It's danny.

Sam, you try to help me find paulina.

Tucker, keep an eye on my dad.

If he starts talking to anyone,

Page me, got it?

This dance gets better and better

With every passing minute.

Danny, I've got her.

Stay on her. I'm on my way.

And, sam,

Don't make her angry.

Hey, paulina.

Nice dress.

Yes.

And it goes so nicely with your amulet,

Don't you think?

My amulet?

That's not my--

Right!

Listen...

My grandma gave me that amulet, and--

Forget it, sweetie.

I'm not giving up this trinket

Or your little boyfriend danny.

My boyfriend?

Ha ha!

And they say pretty girls can't be funny.

Danny is not my boyfriend.

He's not? He's my best friend.

Maybe that's why I was so hard on you.

I didn't mean to call you shallow.

What a bummer!

I only agreed to go out with him

Because I thought I was stealing him from you.

Here, take your crummy amulet.

I'm going back inside

To dump your dorky friend.

Shallow little witch!

[Roars]

Paulina? Sam?

[Roaring]

[Grunts]

[Roars]

Take it easy, paulina.

You don't want to hurt sam.

Paulina?

Sam?

Shallow girl!

Yep, that's sam.

Whoa! Sam!

Two words: breath mints.

[Roaring]

So, do you like quarterbacks?

Uh, sorry.

[Screaming]

Now, sam, be reasonable.

[Beeping]

Tucker: danny, lancer's getting close to your dad.

I hate to do this, sam.

[Straining]

Oh, man.

Dad!

Hey!

Who the heck are you?

And why are you talking to my wife?

Jack, this is mr. Lancer--

From the parent-teacher conference.

Right, right.

I'm sorry, it's just

In this light I thought you were george clooney.

Isn't he sharp, mom?

I mean, maddie.

Well... Ha ha.

Thank you.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I'd like to dance with my wife.

That's what we adults do,

Dance with our wives.

Aah.

Doesn't this bring back memories?

If by memories you mean

Things you remember that I don't,

Then yes.

Go ahead and remind me of stuff.

I'll totally agree to remembering.

[Music ends]

[Cheering]

What the heck?

I mean, uh, thank you.

Thank you all on behalf of me,

Jack fenton.

I hate to say this,

But you throw fire like a girl!

The fenton fisher.

It can capture ghosts and dragon ghosts.

Way to go, dad!

[Boom]

Danny: sam?

Are you all right?

Wow.

Did I have fun at the dance?

Well, uh, ha ha.

Let's just say you had a roaring time.

Tucker: dude, sorry your date didn't pan out.

Where is paulina anyway?

So, do you like quarterbacks?

Oh, who cares!

Look.

The dj is still playing.

And I think there's time for one last dance.

Sure, I'd love to.

Keep an eye on this, will you?

Promise me you'll keep your pants up.

I'll do my best.

Wait a second.

I'm dateless again?

What does a guy have to do

To get hooked up around here?

I want to go to the ball!

On second thought,

I don't need a date that badly.

Hey, guys, wait up!

Can I cut in?!

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪ Billionfold

Inc.