01x17 - Maternal Instinct

[bunniefuu]

[Beeping]

Miles per.

Lightin' up the speed g*n, dude.

Intangibility, check.

Danny? Danny?

Invisibility, check.

Hi. I'm tucker.

Don't the let the p.d.a. Glasses

And lack of muscles fool you.

I'm a stud.

I hate when you do that.

Ok, hotshot, let's ramp it up.

Unh!

Hi. I'm danny fenton.

Don't let the concussion and bruises fool you,

I need more practice.

Whoa!

Wow. It's quiet in here.

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom, danny phantom ♪

♪ Young danny fenton, he was just ♪

♪ When his parents built a very strange machine ♪

♪ It was designed to view a world unseen ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he is danny phantom ♪

♪ When it didn't quite work, his folks, they just quit ♪

♪ Then danny took a look inside of it ♪

♪ There was a great big flash, everything just changed ♪

♪ His molecules got all rearranged ♪

♪ When he first woke up, he realized ♪

♪ He had snow white hair and glowing green eyes ♪

♪ He could walk through walls, disappear, and fly ♪

♪ He was much more unique than the other guy ♪

♪ It was then that he knew what he had to do ♪

♪ He had to stop all the ghosts that were comin' through ♪

♪ He's here to fight for me and you ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ Gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom

Danny and I used to be so close.

Ah! Take that!

Nobody makes a meat puppet out of jack fenton!

Ah! Uh! Fenton jerky?

Ahh...gracias.

We shared everything:

Secrets, bunsen burners, soda.

Ah, yes.

Nothing says bonding like backwash.

Danny's just sh**ting up so fast.

Those special times seem to be slipping away.

Oh, I miss them.

Hey, they all have to grow up sometime.

Curse you, jack fenton! You've defeated me once again!

Aha!

[Doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Thanks, pal.

Oh, and try to get some sun.

You're pale as a ghost.

Hey, maddie, some kind of an invite for you.

I can tell because it has the word "invite" on it.

Yes! Just what the doctor ordered.

[Grunting]

[Gasping]

Wow! You can eat a nasty burger and fries at the same time.

Yeah. The problem is, I can only split myself this far.

Vlad plasmius can turn into, like,

Different vlads at once.

That's what this weekend is about.

Nonstop drills.

No homework.

No family.

No interruptions.

Maddie: hey, danny!

Pack your bags.

We're going to a mother-son science symposium in florida!

Doesn't that sound fun?

At least you're going somewhere.

I'm doomed to special family alone time with dad.

The dalv group. Never heard of 'em.

Are they legitimate?

Legitimately boring, I'm guessing.

Now, just to make sure you're protected

From any rogue ghost att*cks

On the road, sweetcakes, I made you this.

It's the fenton specter deflector--

Guaranteed to repel and weaken any ghost

Who comes in direct contact with you.

Oooooh...

[Beeping]

Thanks, hon.

Oh, and jack, please try not to trash the house while I'm gone.

Ahh, suck the house

Into a parallel dimension one time,

And you just can't let it go, can you?

Maddie: come on, mr. Pouty pants.

This weekend is supposed to be about us.

Those dalv people sent this private jet

Just for us.

How perfect is that?

Do you want the truth

Or one of those little white lies

That doesn't hurt your feelings?

Ohh, forget it, danny.

Just look out the window at that warm, sunny florida coastline.

Man: folks, this is your captain speaking.

If you look out the window on your left,

You'll see the cold, bleak colorado rockies.

The rockies?

That's nowhere near florida.

What gives?

And if you look out the window on your right side,

You'll see me bailing out of the plane

Before it careens out of control and crashes.

[Beeping]

Huurrrhhh!

The controls are jammed, danny.

How do we get out of this?

I know one way.

Aah!

[Groaning]

[Gasp]

Danny, you ok?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Danny, parachutes.

Let's go!

Folks, at this time, I'd like to inform you

That you've been the victims of a cruel hoax!

Thank you for flying air evil plot.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, come on, danny. Don't be so glum.

Look at the view.

Unh! Unh!

Whooo.

Good thing I had my fenton machete

Tucked away in my boot, eh, danny?

You carry a lot of stuff, mom.

How about a fenton cell phone so we can call for help?

Cell phone?

Oh, you can't fight ghosts

With a cell phone, silly.

Not that we're likely to find any ghosts around here.

Besides, who needs help?

I'm perfectly comfortable

With us roughing it in the woods.

Unh! Unh!

Ohhhh...

Or we could just stay at this ritzy mountain chalet.

I'm open.

[Horn honking]

Why, maddie and danny fenton.

Vlad masters? Vlad masters?

Oh, what an amazing, unexpected,

And totally unplanned surprise.

Personalized gift baskets.

Ah ha ha ha!

You're up to something.

Oh, you think?

They're here.

k*ll jack.

What was that?

I said flapjacks. Mm-hmm, pancakes.

I have pancakes.

[Engine revving]

Ok, I'll see you later.

Hey, jazzarincess, check this out.

It's my jack-o'-nine-tails.

How's about a quick tutorial?

How about a quicker no?

I'm not interested in ghost fighting, dad.

In fact, I'm going out.

Hey, there, rope it in, little miss.

Be careful.

Teenage boys are like wild animals.

[Growling]

Aaahhhhhh!

Back off! She's a minor!

Dad, you saved me from that monster.

Yep. It's what I do, princess--

That and needlepoint, which is artsy and relaxing.

Now, come on.

I'm putting this house under ghost lockdown.

[Clock ticking]

Aah!

So, what brings you two to these parts?

You'll never believe it.

We were on our way to this symposium,

And our pilot forced us out of the plane

Right over your house.

Yeah. It's almost like it's some sort of villainous plot.

What an incredibly well-planned coincidence.

That would be an oxymoron, dear boy.

Oh, and speaking of morons,

How's your old man?

Grrrr...

Ooh, the scary eyes.

Aaahh! Ugh!

Maddie, I'm so glad you're here.

It gives me the chance to apologize

For jack's behavior at our college reunion.

Um, correct me if I'm wrong,

But wasn't dad possessed

By some filthy, putrid, lonely, single ghost?

Aaaahhh!

Well, if he hadn't been so weak,

Perhaps that never would have happened, hmm?

Now, vlad,

Jack may be a bumbler, but he means well.

I know, maddie.

And I've forgiven him for many things:

Causing the accident that ruined my life,

Stealing you, the backwash incident.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up.

What was that?

Causing the accident that ruined my life?

N-no, after that.

The backwash incident?

No! In the middle!

Oh, the stealing you part?

Ah, you always could see right through me.

Oh, maddie.

I'm just going to come right out with it.

Please dump jack and stay here.

You and danny both can.

What do you say?

Bye, vlad.

And as a lonely single man in your s,

Might I suggest internet dating?

Or a cat!

Mark my words, maddie.

Nobody says no to vlad masters!

You will rue the day that you spurned my affection!

And I will not get a cat!

You know, in retrospect,

Perhaps I shouldn't have gutted the fenton works ghost shield

To make your mom's antighost belt.

Oh! More ghosts!

Get 'em, daddy!

Unh! Aaaah!

Ugh!

Aye-aye-aye-ya-ya-ya-ya!

Yes!

Wow! Note to self: make a jazz action figure.

Fenton jerky?

Pass.

Danny, this weekend certainly isn't turning out

Like I planned, but we're spending it together,

And that just means the world to me.

Yah! Oww! Ok, I get it.

Stop touching me.

Look, I'm gonna sleep over here, ok?

Well, good night, danny.

I love you.

Mm-hmm. Good night.

[Sighing]

Either mom needs to shave her legs,

Or this is really bad news.

[Roaring]

Oh!

[Growling]

Nice petting zoo, plasmius.

Where's your lonely-guy cat?

Ah, there's that teen wit again.

Aaahhh!

W-wh-what was that?

Oh, I call it the plasmius maximus.

It has just short-circuited your powers

For the next hours.

That's midnight.

I tell you this because I've seen your grades,

And I know you're bad at math.

These are my latest experiments.

What do you think?

Oh, that's right.

Who cares what you think?

I'll give you minutes before I send my minions to destroy you.

The clock's ticking, danny,

On you and your father.

Run.

Gaaaaaaahhhh!

Get him!

Minutes, seconds.

Oh, apparently, I'm bad at math, too.

[Panting]

[Growling]

Remind me later how much trouble you're in

For leaving the campsite.

Wow. That doesn't hurt.

[Growling]

Be right back.

Come on, dazzle me.

How could she not have a phone in there?

Heee-yaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Yhaaahh!

Boo.

[Screaming]

Now, young man, do you mind telling me

What you thought you were doing?

You are awesome!

Ohh, honey, thank you.

I will destroy you!

But we better start moving in case those ghosts come back.

Uh, wait for me!

I, uh, I think we gave those ghost animals the slip.

Uh, shouldn't we figure out a way to call dad?

As much as I hate to say this,

I think we should go back to vlad's.

But he's my archenemy!

I mean, he said all those horrible things about dad.

We both know he's a creep,

But he's a creep with a phone and transportation.

And pancakes.

Here. Put this on.

[Gasp]

I know it's girly, but it's for your own protection.

Great. At midnight, I get my powers back.

At :, the belt zaps me,

And at :, vlad tries to make out with my mom.

Those are gonna be the worst two minutes of my life.

Jazz, honey, i--

Maddie! You're home.

Dad, it's me--jazz.

Jazz? Why, look at you.

You're the spitting image of your mother.

I knew this day would come.

That's why years ago I had this made for you.

Nice.

Sorry about the size.

I thought you'd be swimming

In my end of the gene pool--

The end that's filled with ranch dressing,

Melted cheese, and fudge.

Lots of fudge.

Look, this is just a sociological experiment.

I figure I owe it to myself

To experience all this ghost stuff one time

So I can hate it in a more informed context.

I don't know what you're saying, sweetheart,

But I do know that ghost fighting is in your blood.

No way. I am not like you and mom.

I'm a brilliant, reasonable, sophisticated girl.

In a blue hazmat suit.

In a blue--yahh! Quit messing with me!

No more talk about ghost fighting, ok?

[Roaring]

No talk--action!

Aaahhh! Haaahhhh!

Oh, great. To :.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Danny, if we're gonna get out of here,

We need vlad's help.

But before you go in there and flirt our way out of here,

I just want to say I love you.

I love you, too.

Clingy.

Maddie, daniel. You've returned to me.

Mmm, and not a moment too soon.

Danny, go somewhere else while the adults talk.

Sure. You and vlad get cozy.

If you need me, I'll be over there--

Barfing.

Maddie, you must be exhausted,

Carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago.

We all make mistakes, vlad.

Maybe I'll make one now.

Uh-bu-bu...

I couldn't possibly.

I've been in the woods all night.

I have to freshen up.

I shall await with bated breath.

Keep old bait-breath entertained

Until I can find a phone.

Mom is gone, which means...

Time to spend a little quality time

With uncle vlad.

But first...

Hey, um, uncle vlad...

Oh, please, daniel, don't try to butter me up--

Especially with your powers shorted out

For another minutes.

You're barely a thr*at to me with them.

Without them? Ha ha!

Well, I wouldn't need seconds, would i?

How can you say that?

You think my mom made the decision to come back on her own?

We're a family.

We both talked about it last night,

And I want to stay here with you, too.

Really? You don't mean...

Yes, I do. Come on.

Give me a big hug... New dad.

Aaaaaahhhh! You little rat! You tricked me!

You know what this will mean for you, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

A much fairer fight.

Errrr! Ohhh!

No phone.

No phone.

Yarrrgh!

No phone.

Yaaarrrr!

Errr! Ohhh!

Aaaaahhh!

Unh!

Foolish boy, even with diminished strength,

I'm still more powerful than you.

Huh?

I can't duplicate my form.

Jeez, I don't know which head to hit,

So I'll have to hit them both!

At miles per hour, I bet this hurts.

Helicopter--but no phone.

And danny thinks I'm a nut.

Fine, danny. You've defeated me.

But you've forgotten my pets.

[Whistling]

Finish him!

Finish me?

But why are you mad at me?

I'm not the one who made your pelts into wall art.

Don't even think about it, you spectral freaks.

I'm still more powerful than you.

Aaaaaahhhhh!

And now you're not.

I'll give you a -minute head start, plasmius.

Really?

Minutes, seconds.

You know how bad I can be at math.

Get him!

[Screaming]

What happened to vlad?

He ran out for a bite.

How are we getting out of here?

Ohh, I don't know.

I can't find a phone, and there wasn't one in the cars

Or the atvs or in the helicopter.

Oh.

Maybe we could just take the copter.

Maddie: now, sweetie,

We're not going to mention any of this to your father, right?

He'd be insanely jealous if he found out, so...

Mum's the word.

Actually, I think mom's the word.

Sorry I was such a jerk.

I really had a good time.

Backwash?

Oh, danny, that is so sweet.

Quick, jazz, they're back!

Remember, not a word of what went on here.

My lips are sealed.

And as long as the house is ghost-free,

They'll never know.

Oh, and dad, thanks.

Hey, hey, look who's back.

How was your weekend?

D'uh... Oh, boring.

Ho, hum. Totally dull.

Snore.

I gotta go call tucker and sam.

But, um...

You know.

So, how was your weekend?

Oh, you know, same old.

Well, I guess everything's back to normal, then.

Get out my house, you freak!

Hi, danny.

Hey, wait for me! It's my turn!

Come here, you!

[Punching, screaming]

That's gonna leave--ah!

Oh, gross! Backwash.