01x18 - Life Lessons

[bunniefuu]

One good thing about ghost powers,

No fighting the school bus crowds.

Man: there he is, the prey that got away.

I hope you're enjoyed your freedom, ghost child,

Because skulker has returned to finish the hunt.

What?

A w*apon was fired... By someone other than me!

Thought I forgot about you, ghost?

No, but I'll bet you forgot about that!

Hmm, they both seem formidable.

Maybe I should hunt the girl.

[Both screaming]

Of course, I have sworn a blood oath to have

That ghost boy's pelt on my wall.

Look, I don't want to hurt you.

What makes you think you can?

Ah, I shall force a contest between the hunter girl

And the ghost boy, and to the winner,

The honor of me using their skull as a tetherball!

[School bell rings]

Later for you, punk!

I'll be waiting, creep!

Watch it, punk!

You watch it, creep!

Fenton! Gray!

Congratulations,

You two stragglers are paired up

For a special week-long health sciences project.

I now pronounce you man, wife, and child.

I am so not kissing the bride.

What makes you think you can?

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom danny phantom ♪

♪ Young danny fenton he was just ♪

♪ When his parents built a very strange machine ♪

♪ It was designed to view a world unseen ♪

♪ He's gonna catch them all 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ When it didn't quite work his folks they just quit ♪

♪ But then danny took a look inside of it ♪

♪ There was a great big crash everything just changed ♪

♪ His molecules got all rearranged ♪

♪ Danny phantom

♪ Phantom when he first woke up he realized ♪

♪ He had snow-white hair and glowing green eyes ♪

♪ He could walk through walls and fly ♪

♪ He was much more unique than the other guy ♪

♪ It was then that he knew what he had to do ♪

♪ He had to stop all the ghosts that were coming through ♪

♪ He's here to fight for me and you ♪

♪ He's gonna catch them all 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's gonna catch them all 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's gonna catch them all 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom

[School bell rings]

Ugh!

So let me get this straight.

We have to take care of a flour sack

And pretend it's our baby?

It's supposed to teach us something

About shared responsibility.

Quan, go long!

Well, some of us anyway.

The only thing it's teaching me is

How pointless this assignment is.

Not to mention dangerous.

Now I got to spend a week playing house

With an ecto-hating ghostophobe.

Don't worry, danny.

Valerie doesn't know your secret,

And as far as she knows, you don't know hers.

Besides, she can't be gunning for you

If she's taking care of your special,

Little, floury sack of love.

♪ Danny, val, and baby sitting in a tree ♪

♪ K-i-s-s--

Hey!

You dropped your hat.

Phew! Come on, sam.

Our child doesn't need to see

This kind of negativity.

What?

Tucker, it's a flour sack!

I'll make this quick.

I don't like you, and you don't like me.

Cool, I'm glad we worked that out.

So, I took the time to chart out our responsibilities.

And by "our", you mean "mine"?

Look, unlike you, I'm busy.

So busy, my grades are in the toilet,

And I really need to pass this class!

[Baby crying]

What is that?

You can't just set it down.

These things need constant motion.

See?

And it's that kind of parental attention

To detail that's going to get me

A good grade...or else.

[Baby crying]

I've been a parent all of one day,

And I'm probably already down to a c-minus.

Life could be worse. You could be that guy.

Ooh, nasty ned!

Let's get a family photo with him.

Taking this way too seriously!

Hmm, I'm going to need the right bait

To lure those two back to battle.

Oh, too scaly. Too frightening.

You, I plan on feasting on for dinner.

Yes, you'll do.

I'm the box ghost!

Aah!

[Baby crying]

You want me to take one of you?

Family photos help boost your grade.

That would require having the whole family,

But mommy is too busy with her job

To pull her weight and keep this kid quiet!

Both: danny! You're scaring the baby!

Which that is not.

That's a flour sack.

[Baby farts]

Oh, come on!

Just be thankful it's only flour.

Then why does it smell like beans?

It's the little touches that bring the baby to life.

Here, allow me.

Where'd you get all this stuff?

I announced the birth of our -pound sack of joy on the internet.

The online geek community can be very generous.

Beware!

Oh, man. Can you watch the kid for me?

What do I look like? A baby-sitting service?

[Cash register rings]

Come to uncle tucker and his baby-sitting service.

Watch it!

Sorry, it was an accident.

Jeez, is everybody a jerk this week?

Now, where's that lame-o box ghost?

Only lame-o ghost I see here is you.

Welcome to nasty burger. May I take your order?

Oh, she's too busy to watch the kid,

But when it comes time to kick my butt,

She's front and center?

Don't you have anything better to do?

This is what I do!

At last, people hitting people!

Is there anything more beautiful?

My baby!

Tucker!

Thanks, but this is going to cost you extra.

Bill me later.

Right now, I've got to stop this fight

Before somebody gets hurt.

No ghost kid.

I better get out of here before this gets any worse.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I could have skinned them both by now.

I ought to bust you for child endangerment.

There, there, daddy's here.

Daddy loves you, yes, he does.

Ah, tucker, point of information.

It's a sack of white powder that you almost got k*lled over!

I'm going to have to charge you extra, danny.

Hazard pay and all.

Fine, whatever.

Right now, I just want to find valerie

And give her our kid,

And a piece of my mind.

Please move!

Boy: I can't carry this thing during football practice!

Hello?

You have protective padding.

All I have are pom-poms!

Hi, I couldn't help overhearing,

And I think I may have the solution

To your child care dilemma.

[Valerie grunting]

You can run, ghost boy, but you can't hide.

Ugh!

[Knock on door]

Valerie, it's danny...

And junior!

You're taking the kid, now!

But...m-my job!

I know all about your stupid job.

What? Who told you about that?

Doesn't matter. The free ride's over.

Now, get your lazy butt in gear

And start pulling your weight!

Danny, wait, please! You don't understand.

If I flunk tetslaff's class,

My dad will k*ll me!

[Baby farts]

Great, then you might want to think

About changing that diaper.

Hmm, clearly the sack is very valuable to both of them,

Which gives me an idea.

[Baby crying]

Aah!

Skulker!

What are you doing?

Framing you.

Aah!

Skulker, no!

[Baby crying]

Hand over the sack, ghost,

And nobody gets hurt!

Wait! It's not what you think!

You don't understand.

This is all a trick by a ghost named skulker.

Ok.

Look, see?

I'm putting the sack down right here.

You don't want to hurt me,

And you don't want to hurt this, right?

Why do you even care?

No hitting? Why is there no hitting?

I'm changing the rules of this hunt!

I knew it! It's a trap!

No, i-it's not me, it's--

Whoa!

Oh...oh...

Skulker: greetings, prey.

Having failed to determine which of you is

The superior challenge,

I've decided to hunt you both...at the same time!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Aah! Help!

Help!

What is this place?

Who's he?

What's going on here?

Ok, in order:

This is the ghost zone.

That's skulker, ghost zone's greatest hunter.

And other than you dislocating my shoulder,

We're about to be hunted like animals.

Ah!

I'm offering you a sporting head start, prey.

I suggest you take it.

Nooo!

Less freaking, more running!

Oh, man, these handcuffs must cancel out all my ghost powers!

My ectogrenade launcher!

No, don't! It might be--

Booby-trapped.

See, that's why I took the time

To explain the whole ghost zone's greatest hunter thing.

[Skulker roars]

Get up! He's coming!

I...can't...move!

Spectral paralysis dart.

The effects are only temporary, but this will not be!

Well, on the bright side,

She's finally starting to pull her own weight.

Flour power day care, please hold.

Flour power day care, please hold.

Flour power day care.

Yes, we do accept your parents' credit cards.

This baby-sitting racket is a real gold mine!

That's great,

But aren't you worried

Our own sack might get neglected.

No, why?

Well, you're just so busy.

Why don't I just take her off your hands

For a few hours?

Her?

Now who's taking this way too seriously?

You're bonding, aren't you?

What?no!

I am so not bonding!

I just thought

I'd give you a break, is all.

Well, thanks, but no, thanks.

No better advertisement for business

Than a full care van.

Flour power day care, please hold.

You're right.

It's just a stupid school project.

What do I care?

Yes, we do offer diaper cleaning.

Flour power day care, please hold.

Aah!

No way out, welps!

There is one way out.

What? No, listen to me!

Both: aah!

Oof!

Ha!

You might have gotten my weapons,

But you didn't get everything!

Look, could you slow down for a moment?

This is the ghost zone. I am a ghost.

I could help us both.

Why should I trust you?

Fine, I'm open for suggestions.

Head for a door, any door.

Sometimes there are portals between the ghost zone and earth.

Not that door!

Then maybe you should be a little more specific, huh?

I can smell how near they are.

Sweat, fear...

[Sniff sniff]

And beans.

One of them has had a burrito.

Ok, guys, nap time!

Night-night, alexander.

Sleep tight, andrew. Pleasant dreams, benjamin.

You're my favorite.

I mean, of course, not counting...

Huh?

Tucker junior?

My baby! Where is my baby?

Aren't you adorable?

You are now!

Yes, you are. Now!

I can move again.

Thanks for the save back there.

Yeah?

Well, thank you for nothing.

It's your fault that I'm stuck

In this freaky ghost world!

Right, 'cause clearly, the maniac

Who cuffed and dragged us in here

Didn't have anything to do with it!

Man, I'm just getting paired up

With all kinds of jerks in my life.

What do you mean by that?

Nothing you'd know about, ghost.

Some dweeb's been giving me

All kinds of static at school

Because of this project

We're both supposed to be doing.

Uh, maybe you weren't pulling your weight?

Or maybe he has no idea

What my life is like!

A job, a second job--

Two jobs?

I gotta catch ghosts like you

And raise money for college.

I could have been paired up with anybody,

And I got stuck with insensitive, uncaring danny fenton!

Greetings, panicking youngsters.

As much as I would enjoy following the smell of beans

Through the infinite realms of the ghost zone,

I believe I have something you want right here.

Both: ah! We have to go back!

Even though I have absolutely no idea

Why that sack is so important!

Ha ha ha ha!

What have you done to our child?

Give him back!

It's obvious tucker junior needs a strong father.

No way!

Lilith needs to be raised

In a nurturing environment,

Not some overcrowded baby barracks.

Oh, my gosh! The other babies!

Gotta go! Bye!

[Smooch]

Uh...

That never happened.

You got that right! Daddy's gotta run!

Don't forget to pick up milk!

That's it. Come to my trap.

[Baby crying]

What is this thing,

And why will it not cease this infernal racket?

Silence!

Go high!

Go low!

Hey, I think we finally got this teamwork thing down!

Aah!

Just in time to get our butts fried!

Now, before I destroy you both,

I must know what is so valuable about this package.

It's not the package that's valuable.

It's how you take care of it that counts.

And, dude, you're a horrible mother.

[Baby farts]

Gah!

What? What are you doing?

Giving skulker a taste of his own booby trap!

Aah!

I can't see!

Aah!

Can't...move!

Please, don't get up on our account.

Ok, now my nose itches. Uh, a little help here?

Anyone? Please?

[Baby farts]

Hi, mom.

Cookie, dear?

Just made them fresh for the big bake sale.

Thanks, mom.

No, thank you, son,

For picking up all that flour for me.

No!

At least it stopped crying.

I guess I was kind of harsh on you before.

I never thought a ghost could be anything but trouble.

That's because you never bothered to get to know one.

Truce?

For now.

Get me out of this ghost world

And we'll see how long it lasts.

Zone, it's more of a zone.

But if you insist.

We're gonna have to do it my way, though.

Now, to get out of here before she--

Oh man, you gotta be kidding me!

Hmm...

What?

Who's there?

Uh, sorry.

The door was open, and, uh,

According to your chart,

It's my turn to take the baby, and--

Oh! Give me that!

And you better not tell anybody!

I mean, you better not--

I won't tell anybody.

Wow, this is like the worst job ever.

I didn't know this is the job

You were talking about.

That's 'cause you never bothered to get to know me.

Yeah, you're right.

And I'm supposed to be the good guy.

Huh?

Uh, nothing, nothing.

So maybe I can make it up to you?

You can start by not getting mad.

Woman: fenton! Gray!

Your flour sack is a disgrace!

But seeing as it's not part of a cookie,

I'm giving you a "c."

Manson, for exemplary parenting skills,

If questionable taste in make-up,

I'm awarding you an "a."

As for you, mr. Daycare...

Gonna miss you, alexander.

And andrew.

And especially you, benjamin.

Cheer up, tuck.

You can still visit lilith on weekends.

Sam, it's just a flour sack.

Hey, watch where you're throwing that.

Show a little respect, huh?

Wait. Danny?

Yeah.

The other day,

I was such a jerk to the, uh, person

Who wore this thing,

I figured I should give that person the day off.

Aw, you're not half bad, danny.

Maybe someday valerie will figure out

The other half isn't, either.

I didn't say it was valerie.

You didn't say it wasn't.

Relax.

Wherever she is, I'm sure she's finally enjoying herself.

[Indistinct screaming]

You're going down!

You cannot catch me!

For I am the box--

Aah!