01x19 - Million Dollar Ghost

[bunniefuu]

Plasmius: ah, there you are.

The legendary skeleton key.

With it, I can open any door,

Travel to any realm,

Free any prisoner.

And if you're the only thing standing between me and that...

Ha ha!

This is going to be a snap.

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Very well, behemoth,

No more mr. Nice plasmius.

[Alarm]

Change the ecto-filtrator?

Oh, fudge buckets.

Aah!

My house!

I can always buy another one--

But the key!

I can't get that key without a portal.

I'll need to find another working one--

I guess I'll just have to take jack fenton's.

A-ha ha ha!

♪ He's a phantom

♪ Danny phantom, danny phantom ♪

♪ Yo, danny fenton, he was just ♪

♪ When his parents built a very strange machine ♪

♪ It was designed to view a world unseen ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ When it didn't quite work, his folks, they just quit ♪

♪ Then danny took a look inside of it ♪

♪ There was a great big flash, everything just changed ♪

♪ His molecules got all rearranged ♪

♪ When he first woke up, he realized ♪

♪ He had snow-white hair and glowing green eyes ♪

♪ He could walk through walls, disappear, and fly ♪

♪ He was much more unique than the other guys ♪

♪ It was then that he knew what he had to do ♪

♪ He had to stop all the ghosts that were coming through ♪

♪ He's here to fight for me and you♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ Gonna catch 'em all, 'cause he's danny phantom ♪

♪ He's a phantom, he's a phantom ♪

♪ Danny phantom, phantom

Danny: thanks for driving me to school today, jazz.

No problem, danny.

You know, sometimes it's nice to avoid the bus

And quietly and anonymously slip into school.

Woman, on pa: ghost alert. Ghost alert.

[Alarm]

Danny, hide!

Why?

Um, that's an excellent question.

What's going on?

Didn't you get the memo?

The school's running ghost drills now.

Ghost drills?

[Moaning]

I am a ghost.

Who's that supposed to fool?

Jack: ghost!

I got the memo and I know there are ghosts around here!

Dad, no!

It's not a ghost!

It's an out-of-shape teacher in a mask.

We'll see about that, son.

Eat ghost peeler, spook!

Aah!

[Laughing]

I'll never respect his authority again!

[Sighs]

Wow, he is out of shape.

I can't give you detention,

But someone named fenton is staying after school.

Both: whoa! Look at the time!

All I'm saying is you might want to think twice

Before you barge in like that.

You really got danny in trouble.

Oh, yeah?

You think he's in trouble now...

Look at this place.

Danny hasn't cleaned the lab in weeks.

The beakers are caked with goo and--

Would you look at that?

The ecto-filtrator hasn't been changed in months.

That can't be good.

And it will be more by the time I get done

With all this extra work lancer assigned me.

Dad, are you familiar with the term

"Stay away from my school"?

Sweetie, relax.

You know your dad loves you,

And he doesn't mean to make your life more difficult.

Woman, on tv: the hunt is on for the ghost boy.

What? What?

As a result of today's false ghost alert at casper high,

The need for competent,

Non-jack-fenton ghost hunters in amity park

Has never been more obvious.

Hey, they said my name.

Need for competent ghost hunters?

Hmm. What is that supposed to mean?

Luckily, a mysterious benefactor has offered a million-dollar bounty

On the head of amity park's most famous ghost

And hired the world's best-known ghost hunters to track him down.

Both: , , ...

Nobody's catching that ghost kid but me.

Danny, clean that up.

Sam: danny, aren't you worried?

These are the best-known ghost hunters in the world.

Sam, the best-known. They're not the best.

The groovy g*ng and scaredy cat...

Aah!

Like, those are my internal organs, dude.

Jinkers, scaredy cat,

You're, like, maiming her.

Danny: the extreme ghost breakers...

You the man!

Actually, idiot, I'm a girl.

Right, and that's so extreme!

Danny: the government's ghost hunting squad,

Guys in white...

We have a cleanliness breach in shoulder section alpha.

I'll fill out suit cleaning form number -b omega.

I'll call our immediate supervisor

To requisition detergent and fabric softener.

Lock the area down!

It's a virtual who's who of who can't catch ghosts--

Which means he should be arriving any second now.

Aah! Aah!

Sorry about that!

Wow. You should be careful where you park those things.

I've got nothing to worry about.

Good, then you won't have a problem with this.

Thanks to danny, we know the location of every ghost

Hiding in amity park.

Tucker foley's boo-yea ghost tours

Is bound to be a hit.

Boo-yea!

Aah!

In retrospect, maybe dressing like a ghost

In a parking lot full of ghost hunters wasn't a great idea.

I got him!

Me, jack fenton, danny fenton's father!

I'm not going to grow a third arm, am i?

[Laughing]

Dance, you big, dumb puppet, dance.

I don't get it.

If you just want to steal the portal,

Why not do it now while the fentons aren't home?

Dismantling that portal will take time.

And while tearing down the portal,

I can tear down young daniel's respect for his father--

Assuming he has any.

You know what to do.

[Screaming]

Stand back, everyone,

I've got the home field advantage.

Like, that's not the million-dollar ghost.

Then we should kick back and watch this.

It'll be a riot.

An extreme riot, dude.

I'm a girl. Right.

All right, ghosts,

Prepare to become the fenton catch of the day.

Gotcha!

Aah!

I think he's giving up!

Man, on speaker: welcome to nasty burger.

Wow. You're the worst ghost hunter ever.

[Laughing]

Danny, do something!

What do you want me to do?

I can't go ghost here.

Besides, nobody's in any real danger yet, right?

Aah! Aah!

And now they are.

[Laughing]

[Beeping]

All: ghost!

Aww, quit mocking me.

Plasmius, what are you doing here?

Well, let's see.

Your father looks like a fool,

There's a million dollars on your head.

What do you think I'm doing here?

So you hired these idiots?

Yes--every idiot except your father.

He's a free idiot.

Tucker and sam: danny, help!

Aah! Aah!

As much as I'd enjoy catching up, plasmius,

Shouldn't you be getting home to the love of your life?

Oh, that's right,

Dad married the love of your life.

You're bitter and alone.

Aah!

Oh, please, daniel,

Must I actually defeat you

With one hand behind my back

Before you realized you're outmatched?

Ah-ah-ah.

We can't have you pass out

And change back into danny fenton, now, can we?

This might be your father's party,

But you're the guest of honor.

Ta!

Whoa!

It's the million-dollar ghost.

Whoa, do you know how many extreme jockstraps

I could buy with a million dollars?

Aah!

Aah!

Like, how about a kitty krunch?

Aah!

That settles it.

Nasty burger smells the same before and after the fact.

Danny!

You know, I think I liked it better when they were laughing.

Uh, um...boo?

Ow.

I have a skin breach on facial sector .

Like, shouldn't we focus on the ghost kid?

You know, before jack fenton does something stupid

And he escapes.

Where is he? Where is he?

Like that.

Come on, danny.

You can't tell me the only thing

Your billionaire archenemy is here to do is embarrass your dad.

And date his mom.

Yes, that's exactly why he's here--

To make my dad look like a fool.

I mean, did you see the way those ghost hunters were laughing at him?

How embarrassing.

We're all going to have to live with my dad's goof-ups

For the rest of our lives.

Ahem.

He's right behind me, isn't he?

Yes, I'm afraid he is.

If you need me, I'll be upstairs doing something wrong.

Nice.

You want to go upstairs and make your mom cry?

Great, I just managed

To do plasmius' job for him.

Well, there's only one thing

That's going to cheer him up--

Catching a ghost.

Yeah, and not just any ghost...

Public ghost enemy number one.

Danny's right.

I'm a loser.

I couldn't catch a ghost

If one sprang right up in front of me.

Boo!

Whoo!

Fear me!

Hello?

Ghost!

Right in front of you!

Oh, what do you want?

Come to gawk at the big failure, I suppose.

Just the opposite... Jack.

Cool.

I just called my dad by his first name.

You know me?

And fear you.

That's why I've come to turn myself in to you.

No thanks, ghost kid.

I'm tired of getting laughed at.

I give up.

You can't do that.

Maddie: you're darn right he can't!

Fenton weasel, ghost scum!

Aah!

Ok, this wasn't part of the plan.

Jack, you captured the ghost boy.

I did?

You're right! I did!

Me, jack fenton!

You are the best wife ever.

Danny: oh, gross.

Hello! I'm right here.

Hello?

And if you look to your right,

You'll see casper high,

Whose halls have been haunted.

I know we told danny

We'd keep these guys busy,

But could we have maybe done it without exercise?

Jack fenton will show them who the competent ghost hunter is!

Hmm.

A funny place to claim a reward.

Danny: please, stop!

You should know what you're getting into here!

I know exactly what I'm getting into--

A bigger place in my son's heart.

Thanks.

Now I'm crushed by space and guilt.

Look, you have to listen to me!

Danny: all of this is a trap!

Oh, please, ghost.

Why should I believe you?

Hey!

Does that answer your question?

You.

The wisconsin ghost!

Ah, very good.

All the pawns doing exactly what they're supposed to,

Leaving you two trapped and your fenton portal unprotected

So I can steal it and make it a plasmius portal!

Danny: wait a minute.

You already have a ghost portal.

He has a ghost portal?

You have a ghost portal?

Of course, I have a portal.

Well, I did.

It up and exploded on me.

Ah, well, that's what you get

For forgetting to clean the ecto-filtrator, hmm?

Live and learn.

Or in your case, die and learn.

Danny: uh-oh.

Mom? Dad?

Danny?

Quiet.

There are ghosts about.

Actually, "ghosts" is a bit insensitive.

We prefer the term "ecto-americans."

Come on!

We have to get to the weapons vault!

We have a weapons vault?

Darn that man.

Your father changed the password.

There's no way in!

Or out!

[Both scream]

Oh, great.

We're stuck.

How can we be stuck?

It's not like dad would forget to put a handle

On the inside of the door, right?

"Note to self:

"Have danny install handle on inside of door!--Jack."

Danny: you have to listen to me.

You have to get to your house, and fast.

Why?

So you can gloat while I lose my fenton portal

And the respect of my son

In one fell swoop?

You're going to lose more than that

If your ghost portal explodes.

It's not going to explode.

I'm sure danny changed the ecto-filtrator.

I told him times.

Did he clean the lab? No.

Does he clean his room? No.

Would he, I don't know, forget to install a handle

On the inside of a weapons vault or something?

Great gobs of ghost goo!

The portal's going to blow!

Ghost kid, you've got to help me save my family.

If you do, I'll set you free.

Uh, you just did.

Good thing my dad's a lousy negotiator.

Jack--man, that's cool.

You've got a deal!

My tummy feels funny.

And if you look over here,

You'll see the top of this ridiculously big hill.

Jack: happy place, happy place, happy place!

It's jack fenton and the ghost kid.

That's our collar.

And these are my cuffs.

Aah! Aah!

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

Awesome! Awesome!

Look out for that hackey--

Sack.

Just so you know, I don't enjoy helping you.

Then don't.

I can take care of these idiots.

Go save our family.

I mean, yours-- your family,

Not mine.

Boo.

[Screaming]

Oh, man, this is just too easy.

[Screaming]

Get the kitty. Get him!

[Dog barking, cat howling]

Male extreme ghost breaker: this reeks to the extreme!

Now to stop plasmius.

I don't suppose you could move any faster?

We're , years old.

Be happy we're moving at all.

What the--

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

I get to waste you in your own home?

Ha ha ha!

This is the greatest day of my life.

Ha!

Get him.

Dad!

I better--

Aah!

Whoa!

Nobody's wasting jack fenton

While his family's in danger.

Oh, please, fool.

Your family's in danger

Every time you pick up a butter Kn*fe.

It's time somebody put you out of their misery.

Aah!

I might be a goof, I might mess up,

But when my family's at stake,

The gloves are off.

Well, technically, they're on, but you get the point.

Whoa! He's all over this.

Which means...

It's time to do my chores.

[Plasmius screams]

Well, the table's cleared,

Beakers are taken care of...

And the trash has been taken out,

Which means I have plenty of time for...

Man, on pa: fenton portal to explode in ,

, , , ...

The new filtrator.

Where's the new filtrator?

Eh, I probably should have done this

Any of the times that you told me to.

I'm sort of glad you didn't.

Aah!

Aah!

It's not possible.

You're an idiot-- an idiot!

Maybe so, but I'm the idiot who b*at you.

Aah!

That was awesome!

Aren't you forgetting something...again?

Man, on pa: portal to explode in , --

Now, you see, that's exactly what would happen

If you don't change the ecto-filtrator every months.

Why do you even have this simulation on your laptop?

So I never forget to tell you

Why it's important to change the ecto-filtrator.

I won't, and you shouldn't forget this.

I'm really proud of you, dad.

I can't believe you b*at that ghost

Back into the ghost zone.

Aw, thanks, danny.

So, from here on in...

I'll remember my chores.

And I'll remember that my actions have consequences to others,

Especially my family.

Maddie: jack, let us out! Jazz: dad! Dad!

Jack!

Man, that's cool!

Unbelievable.

Jack fenton b*at me.

Me!

And yet here I am,

Holding the key I've been searching for.

Oh, jack fenton, even in success, you've failed!

[Behemoth roars]

Plasmius: oh, butter biscuits!

♪ Billionfold

Inc.