01x01 - Pilot

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Girls on the Bus". Aired: March 14, 2024 – present.*
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Chronicles 4 female journalists who follow every move of a parade of flawed presidential candidates, while finding friendship, love, and scandal along the way.
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01x01 - Pilot

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[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

I know what you're thinking,
and I didn't do it.

But as any political
journalist can tell you,

these days, the truth is
whatever you want to believe.

So here's my truth...

about how it all went down.

♪ I get up in the evening ♪

♪ And I ain't got nothing to say ♪

♪ I come home in the morning ♪

♪ I go to bed feeling the same way ♪

[LAUGHING] Hey!

Hey!

Yeah, oh, my God, of course!

Yeah, I get into Iowa late tonight.

Yeah, well, I still have to pack.

What... I'm gonna make it.

I always make it.

The Bennett campaign flew
her Yorkie first-class?

Did it have its own seat?

I gotta use... can I use that?
[LINE BEEPING]

Oh, I gotta... I'll call you back.

Bye.

- [CLEARS THROAT] Hello?
- McCarthy!

You will never get another
interview with the Speaker.

Josh, Josh, Josh,
if you would let me talk...

well, you read my profiles.

What did you expect? [PHONE RINGS]

Sadie McCarthy. Oh, hey, yeah.

Do you think I could go
boxing with Caroline,

and it's sort of a metaphor
for her role as governor?

- No, it was...
- Sadie.

I know.

I know, but no one's gonna cover the...

McCarthy.

Come see me.

Listen, I have to call you back.

It won't be long. Bye.

[SIGHS]

It's happening, Hunter.

[LUCY DACUS' "DANCING IN THE DARK"]

♪ Even if we're just dancing
in the dark ♪

Hey, what's up?

Oh, hey.
I'm putting you on the old man's bus.

- What? Are you... what... why?
- No, I know, I know.

- You want Caroline Bennett.
- Uh, yeah.

She's the front-runner,
and I spent months

buttering up all of my contacts
inside her campaign.

Well, I've already assigned Dale.

f*ck Dale!

Look, I really need you
covering the old man.

Only you could find a fresh angle.

I mean, you see things
that other reporters don't see.

So you're punishing me
for being good at my job.

No. No.

No, the newsroom brass is still b*rned.

They worry that you live and write

in a more... emotional space.

That is such bullshit!

Felicity Walker.

What about her?

Aside from the fact that she
should be president right now.

- See? See? There it is.
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

- Come on!
Look, you wanted her to win,

and it showed in your work.

Hell, it showed on television.

I mean, your crying became a meme.

I don't think that...

The media is under att*ck.

We cannot show even a hint of bias.

Sadie, you're a great writer,

but you lead with your heart.

And we need you to lead with your head.

Well, Hunter S. Thompson
didn't just write what he saw.

He wrote how he felt.

He found a deeper truth,

which is what made him a legend.

You gotta stop romanticizing
"The Boys on the Bus."

Hunter S. Thompson was a legend in 1973.

Today, he would be an HR crisis.

Bruce.

It was my first time on the trail.

You gotta give me another chance.

[PHONE RINGING]

If I could assure my bosses
that you have changed

and get you assigned to Bennett...

Yes?

You have to prove
that you can write objectively.

Okay.

And... and you have to land
the first interview.

Done.

Yes. Okay. All right.

[LAUGHS]

You're not gonna regret this.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Why this obsession with politics?

I love what you've been writing lately.

That obit you did
on the Central Park duck?

I mean, that's a masterpiece.

That.

- That was good.
- [LAUGHS]

But this is a chance at the White House.

You said that the last time.

The road is my home.

Oh, okay, Jack Kerouac.

Try to make more than
one friend this time, okay?

They're not my friends.
They're the competition.

All right, y'all.

I got my gummies.

I got my headphones.

I got my ring lights.

Tell me, am I forgetting
something important?

♪ ♪

Going once, going twice.

[GASPS] Damn.

How could I forget? Ah!

Could y'all imagine if I had forgotten

my best little friend?

Ahh!

Thank you, thank you.

All right, y'all, first up is Iowa.

Let's do this.

[BOTH SPEAKING FARSI]

♪ ♪

Okay. What am I forgetting?

- Power heels.
- Check.

- Passion planner.
- Ooh, thank you.

Check.

Invisalign.

Check.

Fiancé?

Kimberlyn Anaya Kendrick,

will you marry me?

I've been on the trail
for three decades.

I have 2 1/2 million points.

I have seen the inside of more
Marriotts than Eliot Spitzer.

All I want is a corner room

on a lower floor,
away from the elevator,

with a view not of the dumpsters,

hypoallergenic pillows,

and blackout shades that actually work.

How many points do I need for that?

[YEAH YEAH YEAHS' "FLEEZ"]

[SLICK POP MUSIC]

♪ Ma-a-a-ation ♪

♪ And it feels nice ♪

Kimberlyn Kendrick checking in.

- Hi, are you Lola?
- Welcome back, Grace.

- Hi! Yeah.
- Oh, my God!

It's so nice to meet you.
We're big fans.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Send it to me on signal.

♪ Fleez and me eating nuts
in the leaves ♪

♪ That's where we dance to ESG ♪

Ah.

♪ ♪

That better be a Long Island.

Oh, my God, Grace!

♪ Reunited and it feels so good ♪

Aren't you 40 yet?
Will you stop singing?

[BOTH LAUGH]

Hi, Sam. Two Yellowtails.

Oh, I guess. Why not?

So Bruce let you out of the rubber room

after your meltdown.

Bruce didn't seem too concerned.

Thanks. I just had to promise him

that this time around,
I'm going to remain detached,

objective, and mostly sober.

- [GLASSES CLINK]
- [LAUGHS]

So who are you assigned to?

Caroline Bennett.

She reformed public schools
as a governor.

She has a m*llitary background.

Oh, and she publishes

m*rder mystery novels under a pseudonym.

She could be the real deal.

- You sound really detached.
- Oh, stop.

[LAUGHS] And don't you worry about me.

I have learned my lesson.

I just need to get that
first interview with Bennett,

and then I will be back
in Bruce's good graces.

This scoop, if you actually
want to call it that, Abby,

entirely misses what's
really going on in this race.

He's sh1tting on your reporting again.

Why does he do that?

Ugh, f*ck him.

Who cares what that dinosaur
has to say anymore?

[SIGHS]

Christ.

The Right has arrived.

[TWANGY UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Oh, God.
- Absolutely, Nellie.

I know you want that job
as much as I do.

Whatever happens happens.

I heard Nellie Carmichael had her makeup

tattooed to her face.

What did you say?

She said she heard your makeup has been
tattooed to your face.

Speaking of makeup,

I hope your mascara's
waterproof this cycle, Sadie.

That was three years ago, Nellie.

John Edwards lived down
a love child faster than this.

- 'Kay?
- Don't engage.

- Don't engage.
- Uh-huh.

I'll be right back.

Yo, hook me up with a Pabst.

It's Lola, right?

Hi. I'm... I'm Sadie McCarthy.

I love your Instagram.
I feel like... I feel like I know you.

[LAUGHS]

You don't know me. But thanks.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Ah, Iowa,

where, every four years,

the political universe descends,
so that 300,000 Iowans

can determine the future
of our democracy.

[PHONE ALARM RINGING]

The first contest in our nation.

Sometimes, it's so close,
they have to toss a coin.

Let that thought sink in.

Some may never live,
but the crazy never die.

["RAISING HANDS RAISING HELL
RAISE 'EM HIGH"]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

Three, two...

♪ This body isn't mine ♪

♪ But I got a heart of gold ♪

Yo, I'm at this chicken wing buffet,

AKA the Coachella of the caucuses.

This is the first big stop
for all the candidates

who are trying to win our votes,

although you already know
who has my heart.

This woman right here convinced me

politics is not just for boomers.

Y'all want to defund the police

and finally stand up to the g*n lobby?

She's our girl.

You have my credit card
and my private account.

What else could you possibly need?

Yeah, I... I gotta go.

What was that about?

Annie wants me to drive her to college.

She's got major anxiety about
transferring mid-semester.

Freshman year is
kind of a rite of passage.

So is the HPV vaccine.

Don't have kids.

It never ends with them.

Surprise, surprise. No vegan options.

Good thing I always roll with a backup.

Use my discount code LOLA for 10% off,

and subscribe to my newsletter
for more nutrition tips.

What the hell is she doing?

She's paying her way
through sponsored content

and an advance from Substack.

Behold, the brave new world
of campaign reporting.

Making herself a discount code
while promoting the socialist candidate?

That's f*cking hypocrisy.

Does she know anything about journalism?

Doesn't matter.
She has more Twitter followers

than "The Washington Post."

I remember when you actually
had to be employed

by a legitimate news outlet.

And I remember when teenagers
didn't become household names

for surviving a mass sh**ting.

[SIGHS] Fair.

This business is dying.

[PHONE PINGS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[PHONE CHIMES]

Want me to plug you in?

Gotta jump. See you on the bus.

You've got scoop.

That's your scoop face. Spill.

You'll find out when the world does.

[PHONE DINGS]

_

Okay, okay.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[ENERGETIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

With politics having
descended into one endless,

horrific reality show,
isn't the presidential primary

just a higher-stakes version
of "The Bachelor"?

The Geriatric,
the ultimate elder statesman.

Former CIA director
and Secretary of State.

The Action Star, who joined the race

after a Twitter poll came out
saying that 46% of Americans

would vote for him regardless
of party affiliation.

The Freshman, who has made
our entire political system

seem accessible to the everyman

or, as she'd say, everyperson.

Let's call him the...

the Hot White Guy.

Because this little-known Kansas mayor

could actually be the Bachelor.

But he's polling dead last.

♪ ♪

The Front-Runner.

Caroline Bennett has the m*llitary vote

and writes mystery novels
under a pseudonym.

Yeah, I dig it.

It's fun, sassy,

and not at all what your editor
asked you to write.

f*ck him.

sh*t.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Excuse me, I'm Kimberlyn Kendrick

- with Liberty...
- No, thanks.

- Excuse me.
- Ugh.

I'm Kimberlyn Kendrick
with Liberty Direct News.

I was hoping I could ask you
a couple of questions.

I have a question for you.

How do you sleep at night?

Like a baby in a satin bonnet,

as secure as a Reagan economy.

[PHONE RINGING] Thank you.

Hey.

How does a Labor Day wedding sound?

Too close to the general.

Christmas weekend?

My father will k*ll me
if we compete with his Christmas.

I was thinking summer,

sometime after the primaries
but before the convention.

And by "I'm thinking," you mean...

I've already pinned two possible venues.

Virtual tours are
on our shared calendar,

but I can't talk right now.

If I'm gonna be the next Gayle King,

I've got to land that promotion
and get on POTUS.

You will, and Nellie Carmichael will be

dust in your rearview mirror.

Stop that. Nellie's my friend.

I root for her. She roots for me.

And I am rooting for you.

I gotta go.

We can never let our hearts
turn to stone,

and we can never let things
fall apart so much

that we cannot create a center,

where the future of our children counts

more than the scars of our past.

These days,
it's easy to lack conviction,

to go into our corners
and slander our enemies.

But America works better
when we confront them,

when we accept that building a future

is not a God-given right.

[PHONE BUZZING] It's work.

It's obligation.

It's duty.

- [SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
- [SNORING]

"Democratic presidential candidates

"threw jabs at Republicans
and each other

"at the annual Cluck into the Caucuses

fundraising dinner."

Why are you reading me back to me?

"Throwing jabs"...

I'm just confirming,
that's what you meant to send?

[SCOFFS]

Is there something wrong with it?

It's okay, in a clichéd Politico way.

It just doesn't have your normal color.

Yes, but I don't do color
anymore, you see,

because I am an objective newsman.

I am above personal opinions
and basic hygiene.

Where are we with the Bennett interview?

I have some calls out.

Look, I told you

that if you want to prove
to the masthead

that you deserve to be back,
you gotta get there first.

- Remember, you're on thin ice.
- Yeah. Yeah.

I can do that.

Jamie loves me.

I wrote her great-grandfather's obit.

Yeah, well, Jamie had a breakdown

and opened a country store
in Cobble Hill.

- What?
- D.C. is hearing

that Bennett just poached
a new press secretary.

- Go through him.
- Fine.

- Who is it?
- Some guy named...

♪ Big boy pants ♪
♪ 'Cause my pockets is thick ♪

♪ Hello Kitty keychain ♪
♪ Hang straight from my hip ♪

♪ Got a big boy bag, ♪
♪ Got a big boy drip ♪

♪ Make a little girl sad ♪
♪ 'Cause a big boy rich ♪

♪ I'm a girl, I'm a girl, ♪
♪ I'm a girl, I know ♪

♪ But I got a big mouth ♪
♪ And a big boy flow ♪

♪ Yeah, they only wanna listen ♪
♪ When the b*tches being hos ♪

♪ But you're an incel, ♪
♪ I can tell, I know ♪

Wait, is that it?
Is that the whole song?

♪ Boys rule, girls drool, ♪
♪ That's just the facts ♪

- ♪ And if you think any different ♪
- _

♪ Then you're gonna get smacked ♪

♪ Flat back on the floor ♪

♪ Nice, love it, feminism ♪

♪ Big boy pants ♪
♪ 'Cause my pockets is thick ♪

♪ Hello Kitty keychain ♪
♪ Hang straight from my hip ♪

♪ Got a big boy bag, ♪
♪ Got a big boy drip ♪

♪ Make a little girl sad 'cause... ♪

sh*t.

Loafers?

You've gotta be kidding me.

[LAUGHS] I wish I was.

And I can't tell Bruce.

If he finds out,
he'll pull me off Bennett,

and I really, really need
to prove myself.

How did your ex go from bagman

to press secretary in one cycle?

"Ex" is a bold term.

And he always was an ambition monster.

And how did it end between you two?

Bad enough that I can definitely see him

cockblocking my interview,
which, you know,

my entire career
and livelihood are resting on.

Skip it.

There's better stories
out there than Bennett.

Where are you right now?

I'm drinking alone.

In Chicago with Charlie and Annie.

- I caved.
- Hey, Sadie.

Oh, good for you. Hi, Annie.

She's been gone or on
the phone all day, Sadie.

Dad and I did all the work.

Hello.

Are these my bras I'm folding?

I take it your tip didn't pan out?

Find another story.

And for the last time,
what's my number one rule?

BOTH: Don't f*ck the flack.

My mother, ladies and gentlemen.

- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
- I gotta go.

[SIGHS]

Hello, Charles.

Harry.

- Grandpa!
- Sweetie pie!

Hi, Dad.

[SOFT POP MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ ♪

Hey. Hey there. Hey.

- [BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY]
- Oh.

So, uh, what are the odds

that you'd give me the first
interview with Bennett?

Run it on the front, Sunday edition.

Sadie.

If I was drowning
in a tsunami of cow sh*t,

and you were the only one
with a lifeboat and Febreze,

I would not give this to you.

[LAUGHING] That's funny.

So you're still mad?

- [CHUCKLES]
- It was... how long ago was it?

- Three years?
- Yeah, three years.

Three years ago,
and you know what, I seem

to remember you being the one
that always said,

what happens on the road
stays on the road.

Did I?

You know, I think I was
referring to Jell-O sh*ts

in Milwaukee when I said that,

not our entire relationship.

Relation... see,
I don't think I realized

we were in a full-on relationship.

[LAUGHS]

You haven't changed one bit.

Yeah, well,
we could have talked about it,

if you hadn't hopped
on an Acela and fled to D.C.

You know, it was a Delta shuttle.

- Oh, so sorry.
- And unlike you,

I chose not to spend
the off cycle sulking

and, um, writing about a dead duck.

She was a Chinese mallard.

The Governor is excited
to be back in Iowa

to talk to real Americans
about real solutions.

Just ten minutes.

We have no further comment.

I liked you better
when you were a bagman.

Bet you did.

- Kimberlyn.
- Hey.

Hey. Already?

I'm trying to get work done, okay?

[BOTH LAUGH] [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[LINE TRILLS]

Theresa, hi.

Hi, it's... it's Sadie McCarthy
from "The New York Sentinel."

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get that.

But just tell Bennett
that the first interview

has to be with "The Sentinel."

Long time. Yeah. Yeah. Random question.

You and Bennett play
pickleball together, right?

Yes, my editor put me back on politics.

Jamie, Jamie,
surely you still have hope.

No. No.

I can't go through her press secretary

for reasons I cannot get into.

No, I'm not in the bathroom.

[LINE CLICKS] f*ck!

[LINE BEEPING] f*ck!

f*ck!

Who's got the first cable sit-down

- with Caroline Bennett?
- Liberty Direct News.

Liberty Direct News?

[LAUGHING]
Not exactly a friendly outlet.

Who is it? Nellie Carmichael?

Actually, it's gonna be
with Kimberlyn Kendrick.

Kimberlyn? Uh-huh.

All right. Thanks.

Kimberlyn Kendrick.

Venti cinnamon almond milk macchiato.

Bingo.

Saying yes to your own wellness...

Saying yes to your own wellness

often means saying no to others.

If you keep saying yes to everyone,

you will have nothing left for yourself.

[STEADY MUSIC]

[PHONE BUZZING]

Good morning, Nellie!

Oh.

No, honey, you sound awful.

Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Oh, Nellie, that event is,
like, two hours away, right?

No, no. It's fine. Fine, no.

I got you. Just feel better.

Hi, fam!

I'm at the University of Iowa.

And before we get some action
with our candidate crush,

I want to break down
some of her talking points.

So first, Green New Deal is not
just gonna save our planet

from all the sh*t
that we have done to it...

f*cking straws...

but it's also gonna save your future

by creating a green economy
and bridge the wealth gap.

We'll be making a living wage
on our wind farm,

so we're not gonna have to win
the next round of "Squid Game"

just to buy dad a new kidney.

Amazing. I know.

Next, when y'all hear my girl
bring up MMT,

she's not telling you
to "meet me there."

She's talking about
Modern Monetary Theory.

So you know how we're always hearing

how we have to balance our budget?

No. We don't.

We have enough money to pay
for everything that society needs.

All we have to do is hit print.

Kimberlyn?

It's Sadie.

I'm so pissed.

They messed up my coffee order.

Do you want my venti cinnamon
almond milk macchiato?

Hi. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

- Thank you.
- Oh.

Enjoy.

I am still waiting, y'all,
and I'm fully about to get

a UTI from holding my pee.

But you gotta sacrifice for the cause.

I'm trying to get y'all
some legit face time

with the candidate.

- [CROWD CHEERING]
- Hi.

Here she comes.

Hi. Hi.

Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
'Scuse me, 'scuse me.

Congresswoman, do you really believe

that redistribution will
benefit the poor

when capitalism has lifted...

Oh, thank you. So nice to meet you.

Whoo!

Do you really believe
that redistribution will

benefit the poor
when capitalism has lifted

more people out of poverty
than any other economic system?

Why are you afraid
of Liberty Direct News?

Maybe because you're the devil.

Oh, says the party that's supposed
to stand up for free speech.

Your network's words
are literally v*olence.

Words are not v*olence.

Get out of here! [CROWD YELLING]

Stop! What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa!

Stop it! No!

Guys, stop!

[CROWD YELLING]

CROWD: [CHANTING] Far Right
fake news has got to go!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

Far Right fake news has got to go!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho!

Lola Rahaii just turned
a panel about monetary policy

into a livestream of a mini riot.

Guaranteed NOTD.

Being in the right place at the right
time doesn't make you a reporter.

It doesn't?

She goes to all
the cool protest marches.

I heard she chained herself

to a chicken processing plant in Ames
to protest inhumane conditions.

Why do you sound jealous?

You ate half the coop
at the buffet yesterday.

I'm... I'm just saying, it must be nice

to stand up for what you believe in
and still have a job.

She doesn't have a job. She has a phone.

Sadie, get off Instagram.

[SIGHS]

Your dad's taking you
to breakfast in half an hour.

I'm leaving, unless you need me

to fold something else
or give you a sex talk.

You gave me the sex talk
when I was five.

I was the only girl in kindergarten
who knew the word "vulva."

Accuracy matters.

Okay, you two.

Be good. Don't get pregnant.

Abortions are now illegal
pretty much everywhere.

Mom. Ugh.

What he/him Iowan do I have to blow

to get a Lyft out here?

- Y'all, send help.
- Wait.

I'm in the middle of an Iowan farm.

Help!

Help!

[INQUISITIVE MUSIC]

Why is Kimberlyn with Lola?

So what's Uber saying?

Lyft. We Lyft.

And it's completing a nearby trip.

In f*cking Omaha?

Ugh!

m*therf*cking sh*t c**t.

Oh, my God, I'm being canceled?

No, no, no!

No good deed, man. No f*cking good deed.

Okay, so, Lola, I need you
to focus on getting us a ride,

because I'm gonna be late
for an interview.

Okay, chill! I didn't make you late.

If you had a thing in Des Moines,

why'd you bounce
all the way to Iowa City?

My friend was sick,
and she asked me to cover.

Women help women.

Kind of like what I just did for you?

I wasn't sure you identified as a woman,

and I would hate to misgender.

[LAUGHS] Okay, I'm sorry, Kimmy.

I think that you were
trying to drag me just now,

but that might have been
the wisest thing

that I've ever heard you say.

Like you've ever even watched me.

You don't know me. I watch everyone.

Know thy enemy, just don't
give them all your energy.

Oh, is that from one of your buttons?

Honestly, I don't mean to be rude,

but are you even a reporter?

According to The Cut,
I am the eyes and ears

of my entire generation.

What about you?
What's a Black woman doing

working at Liberty
White Nationalist News?

You want to do this right now?
Okay, let's do this.

I know what Liberty is.

They are r*cist,
because everyone is r*cist.

At least they're honest about it.

It's better than condescending Democrats

trying to tell me that I'm a victim,

and only they know what's best for me.

I'm not a Democrat, just for the record.

[PHONE RINGS]

Yo.

- Lola!
- Oh, is that the driver?

- What's he saying?
- It's Sadie McCarthy.

- Who?
- From "The Sentinel."

We met the other night?

Never mind. Can I talk to Kimberlyn?

Yeah. It's for you.

- This is Kimberlyn.
- Kimberlyn! Sadie McCarthy.

I, uh... I see that you and Lola
are currently stranded,

and I'm wondering
how you plan to make it back

in time for your interview
with Governor Bennett.

I appreciate your concern, Sadie,

but I've got everything under control.

My Uber will be here any minute.

- Lyft!
- Well, if you're not on

the road within the next five minutes,

you're never gonna make it in time.

Do you see that pickup headed your way?

♪ ♪

That's my friend Billy,
and his truck has

the horsepower to get you back
in plenty of time.

Why would you help me?

Look, it's very simple.

You tell me where you're scheduled

to meet Governor Bennett,
and the truck is yours.

Yeah, no, I'm not
giving you my exclusive.

You won't be! My story won't publish

until after your interview hits.
That's the beauty of print.

We're slow as sh*t.

Are you with Lyft?

♪ ♪

[MOUTHING WORDS] Come on!

Ugh, you know what? Fine.

Room 211.

Thank you! [EXHALES]

♪ ♪

- Are you Billy?
- Yep.

You coming?

I think I'll wait for Eddie
and his white Toyota Camry.

No offense, but you're toxic
for my brand.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Why, Iowa?

[CRYING]

Jesus Christ.

- You are relentless.
- Thank you.

So, uh, pleading with every member

of her kindergarten class,
that didn't work out for you,

so now you are storming the castle.

Governor's already arranged
a first interview...

With Liberty Direct News, yeah.

I know. Seriously?

They spent the entire
last cycle saying a woman

couldn't be commander-in-chief,
PMS and all.

Black female correspondent.

Hits all the demos
but speaks to the red states.

- It polled in the '90s.
- Yup. Yup.

The '90s.

Only things that poll in the '90s
are kittens and Kelly Clarkson.

And we're supposed to shift
our whole strategy

'cause Sadie McCarthy wants in?
It's not happening.

If you knew the pressure I was under...

The pressure you're under?

Sadie, we're running for president.

We have four days until the caucus.

That gives me 5,760 minutes...

- What?
- I went to Yale...

to convince the good people of Iowa

to caucus for Governor Bennett,
and I'm just...

I'm wasting two of them talking to you.

- [PHONE DINGS]
- _

Dale.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey, it's me.

I, uh... I gave you a coffee earlier.

Hey, I was wondering,
can I borrow your cart

for ten minutes?

Okay, here's the deal.

I screwed up at work,
and my bosses gave me

a second chance, and then this is it.

This moment right now,
we are... here we are,

and I have to nail this interview

to prove I can do this,
not just to my boss,

but to all of
the Dale Petersons of the world

who are just waiting for us to screw up

so they can take our jobs.

Actually, you know what?
They're not even waiting

for us to screw up.

They are happy to steal our jobs

right out from under us.

They don't even need a reason.

They just get to win,

even though Nate Silver
promised us they wouldn't.

f*ck Nate Silver.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

♪ ♪

Housekeeping!

Hi. I'm not housekeeping.

- I was just hoping to talk to...
- What's going on?

Governor Bennett, Sadie McCarthy.

Governor, Governor!
I'm so sorry, Governor.

I already told her
your schedule is full.

- I just need five minutes.
- Sadie McCarthy.

Your byline is appointment reading.

[LAUGHS] I loved your obituary
of the Central Park duck.

She was a Chinese mallard.

All right, Governor Bennett, I promised

I'd keep it short,
so I have two questions.

What are five things you want
America to know about you?

That's five questions.

And the second?

How are you going to break our hearts?

Ah.

Well, I could tell you
about my next mystery novel.

It's about
a wrongly-accused pastry chef.

I'm calling it "Flour in the Attic."

And I'm sure I could rattle off
a few fun facts

folks don't know about me,

but I'd rather answer
your second question.

Because that's the one
that's really scary, isn't it?

How am I going to screw this up?

Let's talk about that.
Let's talk about...

As she articulated her hopes,

her dreams, her eyes never leaving mine,

I could feel the familiar
shiver down my spine.

I remembered what it felt like
to fall in love.

I should have resisted, but I didn't.

[QUIRKY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Thanks, Billy.
- You're welcome.

♪ ♪

Kimberlyn.

I just tried to call you.

Oh, no, you didn't just
send me on a wild goose chase

to steal my interview!

Oh, my God, sweetie, no.

I was suddenly feeling better,
you were miles away,

and I do not want us
to lose this opportunity.

Yeah, don't worry.

We won't.

Hi, I'm Kimberlyn Kendrick
with Liberty Direct News.

Is the Governor ready?

Kenny!

I heard !sis was in the lobby.

Maybe you could get a sit-down.

"We are sentient human beings

"who can't help but pick a side.

To pretend otherwise
is to deceive readers."

Why are you reading me back to me?

Just shh.

Don't interrupt.

"I want to pour my soul
into every story,

wrestle with the facts
and come out with the truth."

BOTH: "I want to tell you

what I really think
about the candidates."

"And the state of our fragile democracy.

In doing so, I will reinvent."

BOTH: "I will heal."

"And maybe my readers
will heal with me."

You hate it.

- I didn't say that.
- It's too gonzo.

You want me to tone it down.
I can tone it down.

I'll do another pass. I'll get it...

Did I say I want you to tone it down?

Well, you're not saying anything,

which is really freaking me out!

It's good, Sadie. It's not objective,

which is the one thing
we asked you to do.

But... hell, I don't know.

Maybe objectivity isn't as important

as authenticity here.

I'm sorry.

Would you care to repeat that
on the record?

You have a point of view,
and you're honest about it.

We've been objective
for hundreds of years,

and our readers trust us
less than ever before.

Maybe we're doing something wrong.

[SCOFFS]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

I've convinced the masthead
to run it on the front.

Oh!

Better hurry if we're
gonna make the bulldog.

[YELLING AND LAUGHING]

Page one, bitch!

Whoo!

Band or DJ?

Both.

Seafood tower or no seafood tower?

If we're not gonna have a seafood tower,

why bother getting married
in the first place?

[PHONE DINGS]

My mom is worried
that the venues you liked

are a little too small.

She wants us to go check out Cipriani

and the botanical gardens
when we have time.

Baby?

Are you zoning out on me?

"Great job on the Governor,
but the network felt

"viewers would respond more to Nellie.

"She got POTUS detail.

You stay on the Dems."

"Respond more to Nellie."

Well, we know what that means.

It means what it always means,

and you will rise above
like you always do.

Oh, I'm so sick of having to rise above!

I was chapter president of my sorority!

I was on the "Harvard Law Review"!

I am the only Black woman
to ever headline

the Young Republicans Convention.

And I landed the f*cking exclusive!

God damn, what more do
these people want from me?

That's right, baby. Let it out!

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

♪ ♪

She was being att*cked, Ashley.

v*olence against women
isn't a partisan issue!

"Black lives matter"
doesn't only apply to people

with our same politics!

I mean, screw them.
I'll find another sponsor.

Their protein bars
tasted like ass anyway.

♪ ♪

[PHONE DINGS]

_

"Governor Caroline Bennett,
the leading candidate

"in the Democratic race for president,

"allegedly engaged in an erotic club,

"recruiting vulnerable women and men

"to join her in illicit sexual activity,

"according to a source
with direct knowledge

of the underground club's
existence in Chicago."

f*cking Grace.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Hey!

Heads-up would have been nice.

I just wrote a Bennett blowjob!

[LAUGHING] Oh, I'm sorry, Sadie.

Did I forget to mention
that the candidate I work for

is a sexual deviant whose past
may have included wild orgies?

- My bad.
- The story's spreading

like scabies online already.

I look... I look like a g*dd*mn idiot!

Is she dropping out?

Why would she drop out?

These egregious allegations
are totally unfounded.

Come on. Really?

Off the record, she refuses to drop out,

even though we're done.

Are you okay?

Uh, yeah.

It's just politics.

Well, you don't look okay.

Hey, Sadie, come on. I don't have time.

And it's not just politics.
It never has been.

Not for you. Not for me.

We were always the believers.

Yeah, look where that got us.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sorry.

I'm sorry that I ghosted you.

Even if I wasn't fully aware
that we were serious.

We talked about
moving in together in D.C.

So much alcohol.

[LAUGHS]

[SOFT MUSIC]

I'm... I'm not...

I'm not great

at relationships.

It wasn't you.

♪ ♪

Uh, well, um, on deep background...

[PHONE DINGS] [PHONE BUZZES]

I hadn't heard about anything
worse than a parking ticket

till Grace reached out for comment.

Why didn't this come out in self-oppo?

She refused to do self-oppo.

I guess it's hard to see our own flaws.

[PHONE BUZZING]

Yeah. I know, I know, I know.

Dale is writing the leadoff
for the front.

We still have time
to make late editions.

And my story?

We run it web-only,
linking to Dale's piece.

Stay on the bus until she drops out.

Gah!

God damn it.

How come your luggage doesn't squeak?

Seven cycles, bitch.

You'll get there.

[SCOFFS]

I'm sorry about the story.

I know Bennett was
an important get for you.

Well, you dropped the hints.

I should have picked up on them.

So Chicago.

That was a really nice thing
you did for Annie.

Mm.

But I noticed that your story
had a Chicago dateline.

Did you take Annie to college
to chase a source?

It was a really big scoop.

- [LAUGHS]
- I'm allowed to multitask.

Mother of the year.

- Sorry.
- Oh, don't be. You're lucky.

Nobody expects you to be
Martha Stewart and Bob Woodward.

There was a time when career women
couldn't be childless messes.

Oh, my God!

Y'all do understand that gender
is a social construct, right?

Tell that to my pelvic floor.

[LAUGHS]

Kimmy! Oh!

Ruiner of my career.
Come. Come, come, come.

Join our elite media drinking game.

Take a sh*t every time somebody
says "source" or "scoop."

- [LAUGHS]
- You do realize

that if Liberty had broken that story,

it would have been dismissed
as a partisan hit job.

But the liberal media gets it,

and it's, "All hail the scoop queen!"

Hey, that's one!

We're not liberal.

- We're objective.
- Yeah.

Keep telling yourself that.

Well, Bennett's done.

So can we objectively agree

that we're all riding
a zombie bus to nowhere?

Yo, print.

Old-school.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

- Lola Rahaii.
- Hi.

I saw your TikTok.

The way you broke down the
Green New Deal, that was super dope.

We should do a one-on-one at some point.

Yeah. Yeah.

Congresswoman, your car is here.

I'll find you.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[LAUGHS]

[METAL DETECTOR TRILLING]

Hey, sweetie.

I know yesterday was super
intense for the both of us,

but I hope we can still be friends.

Let me make myself very clear.

I'm gonna do
what our bosses ask me to do.

I'll cover the Democrats,

and I will exceed their expectations

until I don't just have your job,

I have any job I want,

and you're back waiting tables
at a Hooters in Plano.

So by all means, underestimate me.

That'll be fun.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Get out.

♪ ♪

Back off, boys.

These seats are reserved
for the major dailies.

Keep moving.

♪ ♪

"Wall Street Journal."

Don't mind if I do.

Well, I'll just do it on here.

Thanks so much.

Did you get that, Tim?
We gotta do it on the app.

- Oh!
- Oh, I'm sorry!

- Sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
- No, that's...

- Sadie McCarthy.
- Yes.

I just read your article online.

It was good.

Too bad it had
the shelf life of sashimi.

Thank you?

Hey, I dug your speech yesterday.

- Oh.
- Too bad you have

no chance in hell of winning this thing.

Ouch.

How about this?

If I make it to Nevada,
you do a piece on me.

[LAUGHS]

- I'm gonna miss my bus.
- Okay.

Yeah.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

That was weird.

Sorry.

I'm sorry. Hey.

[SIGHS]

Thanks for holding the bus for me.

You really think I'd do that?

- Have you met me?
- [CHUCKLES]

There's gridlock on the I-80.

Oh, great.

To be a journalist is to have a calling.

It's not a life you choose.

It chooses you.

For as long as I can remember,

all I wanted was
to brave the storms of life

and write words that mattered.

And just like the boys
on the bus who came before me,

I was determined to seek
more than just the facts.

I wanted the truth.

And I wasn't alone.

We may have started as competitors,

but we would end as a family.

This is a story
about the kind of friendship

you never knew you needed
but can't live without.

We didn't realize it at the time,

but our journey was about
to take one hell of a turn.

One that would bring all of us together

and force us to risk everything

to save our fragile democracy

or go down with it.

♪ I don't wanna lose myself again ♪

[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC]
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