01x12 - 116 Candles/Stop or My Mummy Will Shout

[bunniefuu]

[GHOSTLY VOCALIZING]

[RAP b*at PLAYING]

[HARD ROCK PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

[BATS SQUEAKING]

[CHEERING AND SYNTH-POP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER TV]

[SNARLING]
They're here.

They're here.
They're finally here.

[GASPS]

Four tickets to Jett Black
at the Roachella Batcave.

This is going to rock.

Hey!

Too bad you can't go.

You think
I can do everything
around here myself?

Look at how busy we are!

[VOICE ECHOING]
[CRICKET CHIRPING]

Ooh, sorry.

Hot tub gave me a rash.

[CHIRPING]

Actually, looks
sort of slow to me.

Slow?

The zombies are due
for rot-proofing,

the Cerberus is about
to have puppies,

and Quasimodo's staff
is home sick with being dead!

But... But I have to go.

Jett is debuting "Slug Guts,"
the song I wrote.

Ugh! Pop music is atrocious.
It ages me something awful.

You will not
attend that show.

Ugh!

[SLURPING]

Aunt Lydia is so out of touch.

Talk about a drama queen.

I wish there was a way
to make her feel young again.

Then, I bet she'd love Jett
as much as I do.

[LOUD CRASH]
Huh? What's that?

Mavis, my little poison
spider egg, how are you?

Same, same. Aunt Lydia's
ruining my afterlife.

What's this?

Oh, I'm getting the
zombie sprayer set up.

Just in time, too.

Anti-rot serum.
Slows decomposition by
reversing the aging process.

Fun fact: also great
on rotten egg salad.

Hold up.
That stuff reverses aging?

Well, since zombies
are already dead

it only stops them
from falling apart.

But, theoretically,
if you sprayed a monster,

it would roll back
the old-ometer a few klicks.

You don't say.

Well, good luck spraying,
Uncle Gene.

See you.

But stuff's only been
tested on zombies,

and I don't think
even they know
the long-term effects.

[LAUGHS]

Mavis, I really don't know
if this is a good idea.

Uh, what?
It's the best idea.

Lydia's new perfume
will make her feel younger,

she'll understand
our situation,
and boom drac-alacka,

Jett Black,
here we come.

Do we even know
what this stuff smells like?

Yup. Like dead rat.

I put one in there
to spice it up.

Her favorite. Mmm.

Aunt Lydia. Hi.
[GROWLS]

Uh... We just wanted
to give you this token
of appreciation.

I knew you were desperate
to see your disgusting show,

but I did not expect
you would stoop to bribery.

[SNIFFS] However,
I cannot resist Eau D'Rat.

I'm undead, not dead.

And now, we wait.

[TICKING]

[ALL SNORING]

Wake up!
[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Well, that was fast.

Actually, it's been


Fifteen hours?

Holy rabies.

You guys, she used
the whole thing.

Uh, Aunt Lydia?

You okay in there?

What's up?

[ALL SCREAMING]

What's their dealio?

[EXHALES]

Oh. Coffin breath.

I thought that stuff
would just make her
feel younger,

not turn her
into a teenager.

She's gonna k*ll us.

She is totally
gonna k*ll us.

AUNT LYDIA:
You're all going to die!

When you see my k*ller
breakfast outfit.

[ALL EXCLAIM]
Holy rabies.

[CHUCKLES] Old Lydia
would never let us
do anything like this.

[SLURPS] What?
Uh, I mean...

[STUTTERS]
Lame Lydia. I...

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Uh, say, Aunt Lydia,

seeing as you're in such
a youthful mood,

can we have our tickets back,
pretty please,

so we can go see Jett Black
tonight at Roachella?

Uh, I'm not sure.

I can't think when I'm not
throwing stuff into an abyss.

[GASPS] To the secret
bottomless pit!

ALL:
Secret bottomless pit?

[SCREAMING]

Dude, isn't that
your bed?
Was.

That'll teach you to give me
a restful night's sleep.

Bye-bye now.

So, Aunt Lydia,

have you had a chance
to think about us
going to see Jett Black and...

Wait. I just thought
of something else to chuck in.

Be right bat!

Mavis, I can't believe
how great this worked out.

Actually,
I'm starting to think

it's working out
a little too well.

You think?

With nobody in charge,
the hotel will fall apart.

Ah, you worry too much.

She's got things
under control, right, Mavis?

[GASPS]
Lydia, stop!

That's Vlad the Annoyer's
Scream Stone.

It's been in the family
since forever.

Pfft! Are you serious?

Let's go find
some real trouble
to get into.

I wonder why they call this
the Scream Stone anyway.

[SCREAMING]

Ugh! Seriously?

[GROANING]

Lydia? Guys?

Where did they goof off to?

Does anyone
work here anymore?

Pedro.

Quasi? What happened
to your hand?

I was rushing, trying to catch
up on all my kitchen prep.

And you chopped
your hand off?

I'm so sorry.

What? No, I got a paper cut
from the recipe book.

[SOBBING]

You don't care.
A paper cut?

Back to work!

All of you,
back to work!

If you've got an arm,
you can carry a bag.

It's like nobody
can figure anything out
for themselves around here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where do you think
you're going?

Whoo-hoo!
Jett Black, remember?

What? But those
are my tickets.

You'll cover for us, right?
Great. Don't wait up.

[YELLING]

How can she be
so irresponsible?

Do you all think
I can do everything
around here myself?

Look at how...

Oh, my goblin,
I'm Aunt Lydia.

I just really wanted
to see Jett do my song,

but with Aunt Lydia
goofing off,

everything here
is falling apart.

Oh, you're telling me.

You don't have some kind
of serum that, like,

speeds up aging,
do you?

[LAUGHS] A serum
to speed up aging?

This isn't some
kooky TV show

where there's a convenient
solution for everything.

Nope, the only thing I've ever
heard like that is pop music.

Did you say pop music?

Pop music. Oh, sure.

Rare allergy
in certain vampires.

Ages Lydia horribly.

You're serious?

I thought she was just
being a drama queen.

[SQUEALS] That's it!

Thanks, Uncle Gene.
You're an afterlife saver.

Looks like I'm going
to Roachella after all.

Of course, too much
and she'll turn to dust.

Happened to Cousin Camilla at
a Mozart concert back in 1783.

Oh-ho!
That dude rocked hard.

PEDRO: Oh, yeah!
This is gonna be awesome!

WENDY:
Yeah, too bad Mavis
couldn't make it, though.

Ta-da!
Ah!

Made it.
Mavis?

Wait, where's
the Hankster?

He was right here
behind us in line.

Oh, uh, he decided to hang out
with a friend instead.

There's nothing
to be afraid of.

[SCREAMS]

[CHITTERING]

ALL: [CHANTING]
Jett Black! Jett Black!

Jett Black! Jett Black!
Jett Black!

[BATS SQUEAKING]

AUNT LYDIA:
Oh, my goblin.

Look who finally learned
the value of skipping work.

So you're not mad?

Pfft! I don't care.

Maybe if I was
some old lady
I would care.

[SIGHS] Well, we can
ask her soon enough.

JETT BLACK:
Roachella and Jett Black
are proud to introduce...

Me!

[SYNTH-POP MUSIC PLAYING]

One, two, three, four!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]
[ALL CHEERING]

♪ Slug guts in my hair

Ow! What's going on?

What's going on,
Teen Lydia,

is that you're about to
become Aunt Lydia again.

And better yet, it's gonna
happen thanks to my song.

♪ Slug guts everywhere

[SCREAMING]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's happening to her?

Turns out she really
is allergic to pop music.

Don't worry. It's just
aging her back to normal.

Then she'll book it
out of here,

and we can enjoy the show
in peace.

Um, speaking of
booking it...

Make it stop!

♪ And I don't really care

Holy rabies.

She's aging too far.

JETT BLACK:
Whoo! Yeah, that's right.

Hey! No, don't!

[FEEDBACK SQUEALING]
[CROWD BOOING]

So, so, so, so, so,
so, so sorry.

But this is kind of
an emergency.

[GRUNTS]

Oh! That's better.

What happened to my body?

Phew. I...

Mavis, you've totally ruined
my comeback show.

[ALL BOOING]

Good times.

Um, hey.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Song sounded great.

I just want you to know
that whenever I think back

on the worst concert
of my afterlife,

I'll remember this face.

Did you hear that?

Jett Black says
he'll always remember you.

Okay, here goes nothing.

[GASPS]

Aunt Lydia,
I'm so glad you're okay.

Why are you trying
to upper five me

when there is work
to be done?

I know, and I'm sorry.

I realize now that
managing this place
isn't a one-monster job.

That is a very grown-up lesson
to have learned, Mavis.

So I'm not being punished?

Of course you are.

The Scream Stone
needs to be polished.

Oh, no.

[SCREAMING]

[BATS SQUEAKING]

[WAILING]

Ooh, ooh,
let me guess.

The Cerberus b*at him
to the Mice Crispy
squares again?

[BELCHING]

Uh, yes,
but that's not it.

Pedro found out
his mom's finally
coming to visit.

[SQUEALS]

A mummy mommy
is so much fun!

No, it isn't!

Because of my brother Rusty.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

PEDRO: He's a superstar.

[SIGHS] My mommy...
Yes, I still call her mommy.

Let's not rehash that.

...is always bragging
about how great Rusty is.

How responsible
Rusty is.

How "rusty" Rusty is.

So I got jealous

and kind of maybe told her
I sort of run the hotel.

ALL: What?

So you lied
to your mummy mommy?

Now she's popping by
on her way to Spookarest,

and she's going to
find out my only job

is to flip a dumb switch
that doesn't do anything.

You see?

[SIGHS] She's gonna think
I'm such a disappointment.

Pedro, we've got this.

All we have to do
is let you run the hotel

while your mommy
is here,

and she'll think
you're a superstar, too.

You'd do that for me?

Of course.

I know a thing or two
about having to live up

to a parent's
high expectations.

Stop looking at me
like that.

Yeah, being the spare parts
son of Frankenstein

is no bed of nails either.

I'm in, too.

I'm unconditionally loved.

Mmm, direct deposit.

Okay, listen up.

As long as Pedro's mom
is here, he's in charge.

You take orders from no one
but Pedro, got it?

What about the real boss
of Hotel Transylvania?

Luckily, she just got
Cornelius Shivers'
new romance novel.

She'll be lost to it
for hours.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

Pedro, my dear,
your mommy is here.

Mommy! Mommy!
Welcome to the hotel!
Pedro.

Oh, right.
I mean, my hotel.

Hmm. Rusty can't believe
Dracula would leave you
in charge

of Hotel Transylvania.

Rusty thinks you're
full of boo-loney.

Rusty.

[FLY BUZZING]

Now, I don't know
who to believe,

so I came to see for myself.

Um, Pedro, maybe your mother
would like a hot drink.

Well, I could use
something scalding

to burn the skin off
the roof of my mouth.

It's a new thing
I'm trying.

Mavis, my mother's drink.

Yes, boss.

[SLURPS] Hmm,
they're listening to you.

Maybe you really are
in charge of the hotel.

Yeah. I totally am.

[STUTTERS] Check this.

Hey, you, stop loafing
around and, uh...

Clean the invisible sofa.
Uh, yes, sir.

[SQUEAKING]

Hey, don't just pretend
to clean it, dude.

Actually clean it.

[GRUNTS]
[RAPID SQUEAKING]

Watch this, Mommy.

Zombies, make a pyramid.

[GRUNTS] Ha!

Now that would
be impressive,

but Rusty did the same thing
once with monster trucks,

only upside down.

That didn't end so well.

Okay, Pedro, maybe it's time
to say bye to your mom

and see her off
to Spookarest.

You know, before
Aunt Lydia finds out.

No way.
I got to top Rusty.

Whoa! [GROANS]

Ah! I can't believe Pedro made
me braid Bigfoot's toe hair.

I don't even work here.

Uh, do you want to trade?

AUNT LYDIA:
What is going on here?
[SCREAMS]

Am I standing in slug guts?

[CLUCKING]

You sure are.

My son's idea.

He thought they'd attract
better quality zombies.

[CROAKING]

And just who
is your son?

The one and only
Pedro Moomay, of course.

He's in charge.
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, really?

Oh, skull snaps.

Son, you need to
send her to the dungeon

for glaring at you
like that.

Rusty would.

Uh, no problemo.

Don't do it.
Ixnay.

Whoa!

Oh, no.

You will, uh, do as I say.

[WHISPERS] Wink, wink.

Do you have something
in your eye, child?

Has it infected
your brain?

[CLEARS THROAT]
I order you to the dungeon!

[SOFTLY] If you don't mind,
pretty please.

You order me?

No, no, I ordered you,
"wink, wink."

Oh...

Mommy!

[CLUCKING]

Did you just freeze
Aunt Lydia?

Uh...

Wow. Rusty never did
anything like that before.

He didn't?
I mean, oh, no, he didn't!

All hail King Pedro.

King Pedro! Whee!

[YAWNS]

Pedro, this needs
to stop.

Hey, he called me
King Pedro.

And this was your idea.

Oh, come on.

Aunt Lydia
is gonna wake up,

and when she does
you need to be far,
far away.

Like Jupiter far.

Not sure that's
gonna be enough.

Oh, Pedro, my baby,

I am so proud of you.

I'm not going anywhere.

Did you hear that?
I'm finally the
number one son.

How you like them
crabapples, Rusty?

[BLOWS WHISTLE WEAKLY]

Ugh!

Just do this one last thing,
and I promise I'll end it.

Ugh! Fine.
As you wish, King Pedro.

One last thing.
But don't make things worse.

Don't worry, I'll keep things
on the down-low, trust me.

[TICKING]

[FANFARE PLAYING]

[SLURPING]

[SNAPS FINGERS]

[BELCHES]

Ah. So cute.

Uh, why are we still
going along with this?

You going to argue
with them?

[YAWNS] Being in charge
is so exhausting.

Mmm-hmm. That's right.

Only the best fruit mold
for my handsome boy.

Ew! This mold
has fruit on it!

How dare you?

To the dungeon with you!

Ooh, look at my little
bandage boss

wield power
in such a reckless way.

Oh, come on, Pedro,
it was just an accident.

Let him go.

He locked you
in the dungeon?

He sent all of us down here
for not following orders.

I'm in for not kneeling
fast enough.

Okay, you guys, sit tight.
I'll get Pedro to end this.

Uh, could you hurry?

I don't think these dungeons
have bathrooms.

Pedro, you have to
come clean to your mom now.

If you don't, I will.

You can't do that.
It's against the code.

Never rat a friend out
to their parents.

What about the code of
not putting your friends
in a dungeon?

Doesn't ring a bell.

Besides, why would I
want to change anything?

My mommy thinks
I'm a success,

and everything's
coming up Pedro.

[LOUD CRASH]

Mmm-mmm, what's
with all this racket?

Pedro, make it stop.

I'm on it, Mommy.
Noise, you're fired.

The noise isn't
listening to you.

The hotel is falling apart
under your rule, King Pedro.

What? It can't fall apart.
I just got it.

Mavis, you got to
do something.

[SNIFFS] And why do I
smell Mice Crispies?

Now I'm hungry.
This is the worst!

Mice Crispies?

But the Cerberus
ate all those.

[GASPS]

Be right bat.

Ooh, try to bring me
back some, if you can.

[BELCHING]

[GROANING]

Whoa.

The build-up of methane gas
from your burps

is at an all-time high.

It's got to be released
before the pressure
destroys the hotel.

But the vent is closed.

[SCREAMS] Whose job
is it to open it?

[COUGHS]
Oh, wait a sec.

That wire must
open the vent.

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

Pedro, the switch.

It actually
does something.

We need to flip it
to release Cerberus' gas.

And it only works
with your bandage print.

[SCREAMS]

Ah! We're stuck
in slug guts.

What do we do?

Hmm. [GASPS]

A-ha!
Huh?

Time for you
to be the hero.

Hey!

Oh, I got this.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

We did it!

What's going on here,
Pedro?

[SIGHS]

Mommy, I'm not in charge
of the hotel.

I'm never going to be
a big sh*t like Rusty.

[BLOWING WHISTLE]

I'm sorry I lied.

I just wanted you
to be proud of me.

But I am proud of you.

You saved the hotel
from being destroyed.

Uh, well, it was my idea
to use the bandage
as a lasso and...

Not now, Mavis.

You're right.
I'm a hero.

I saved the hotel.
I save it every day.

Now you're getting a little
carried away again.

All hail King Pedro!

That's my baby.

[AIR WHOOSHING]
Uh-oh.

[GROWLING]

Hey, what about
the friend code

of sticking together
no matter what?

MAVIS:
Sorry, not this time.
Good luck, King Pedro.

MOTHER:
I'll miss you, baby boy.

[GULPS AND
CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[VOCALIZING]