01x21 - Four Monsters and a Funeral/Rainbow Doom

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Hotel Transylvania: The Series". Aired:
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Series takes place four years before the events of the original CGI film and follows Mavis and her best friends as they have fun adventures at the hotel while Dracula is away on business with the Vampire Council.
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01x21 - Four Monsters and a Funeral/Rainbow Doom

Post by bunniefuu »

[Thunder booming]



[Screaming]



[Bats squeaking, wolf howling]

[Lydia laughing]

Ooh.
[Laughing]

Are you...okay?

I am always perfectly
satisfactory.

[Groaning]

[Laughing]

But if you must know, I've--

[Whispering]
Broken my funny bone.

What?!

You are forbidden to
breathe a word of this.

No monster must know
I even possess such a thing.

[Groaning]

[Whistling casually]

It would seem that Tiffany's
cousin Marie's ex-boyfriend

knows an ogre who knows an imp
that knows a witch doctor

that can keep a secret.

As I will be gone for the day,

I am leaving you
in charge of the hotel.

You may now proceed with
senseless dithering.

Could you say that again,
please?

Senseless dithering.

Now, there are a litany of
chores to tend to.

Holy rabies.

LYDIA:
Feed and walk the Cerberus.

Check the bottomless pit
is still bottomless.

Ensure Uncle Gene
is still breathing.

[Shouting, snoring]

Do you think you can
handle that?

It's only a day, no prob.

Even a brainless zombie
could do it.

[Groaning]

Hm. I suppose you are right.

Too late!

You already said me.

How much damage could even
you do in a day?

Don't answer that.

Now, get back to work!

[Groaning]

Things had better be in order
when I return.

Of course.

[Shattering]

Starting... now.

[Clock ticking]

She left me in charge
for the whole day!

Pretty awesome, huh?

I am so happy for you.
[Squealing]

[Clock ticking]

Is the bottomless pit
still bottomless?

Uh--
Of course it is.

Wouldn't be a bottomless pit
if it weren't.

[Clock ticking]

Is Uncle Gene
still breathing?

[Snorting, shouting]

Did I fall asleep?

[Gasping]
No!

I stayed up for two days
to finish Humanoid att*ck

with Gary's lucky charm
before he takes it back.

And I'm finally on
the last level.

Gary's lucky charm?

I won it in a game of Hearts.
[Kissing]

I thought good luck
was a bunch of hooey,

but his lucky charm works!

I'm k*lling this game!

Pow, pow!
[Laughing]

If you won it, why is
Gary taking it back?

Word is Gary's been a disaster
without it,

so he's begging for it back.
[Banging]

GARY:
Gene, I know you're in there.

[Shouting in panic]

Mavis, make up an excuse
to get rid of him.

What?! What should I say?

You'll think of something.

[Screaming]

Um, Uncle Gene can't come to the
door right now 'cause he's--

[Gasping]

[Dramatic sting playing]

Death?

Death? You mean Gene's dead?

Aw, man. I'm sorry.

But wait,
how do I not know this?

I'm Death!

[Gulping nervously]
I thought you were Gary.

I am. Gary's a lot more
approachable though.

Man, I told Gene I'm useless
without my necklace.

I came to get it

when I guess I should've come
to collect his undead soul.

But, of course,
I wouldn't know that

'cause without
my good luck charm,

I'm a total
brainless zombie!

[Groaning]

Um, there, there.

I'm going to need
my charm back.

But as Death, by law,

I can't retrieve anything
from the departed

until after the funeral.

So, when is it?
When's what?

Uh, Gene's funeral.

Uh...

You wouldn't lie to
the Grim Reaper--

[In deep voice]
Would you?

Uh, n-no. No. No. No.

For sure not.

But Gene wouldn't want much,
it'll be teensy tiny.

So small it'll barely happen
at 3:00.

So, come back at 4:00?
K, bye.

Ooh, how about I stay?

No one ever invites me
to these things.

And if I know Gene, his farewell
will put the fun in fun-er-al.

Heh, see you at 3:00.

Ah!

Aw, man.

[Sighing]

[Gulping nervously]

[Laughing]

[Sighing]

Got rid of Gary.

But he's coming back at 3:00
for your fun-er-al.

[Laughing]
My what?

Your fun funeral.
Fun-er-al?

I kind of maybe sort of told him
you're dead.

Oh, Uncle Gene, I am so sorry.

What?!

This is--

Great!

Stall as long as you can, Mavy.

[Laughing]

Oh, I'm totally going to
finish this game.

Uh, so Aunt Lydia can come back

to find me throwing you
a funeral?

Um, fun-er-al.

No way.

Maybe if I just tell Death
the truth.

Sure. Go tell Death you lied
about the dead.

[Laughing] What's the worst
that happens?

He takes your undead soul?
[Gulping nervously]

Looks like we're throwing
a fun-er-al!

Woot-woot!

[Clock ticking]

Okay, that is
a crazy story.

Yeah. Who knew Death's
name was Gary?
Right?

I think you're focusing on
the wrong part of the story.

True.

Like, what are you going to say

when monsters find out
Gene isn't really dead?

Especially him.

[Grunting]
Ah, man!

Gary/Death is a hot mess
without his good luck charm.

[Panting]

Oh! Ah.

[Groaning]

Oh, sorry.
It's not your time to go

At least I don't think.

Or have you already gone?

See? I don't even know
what's going on!

Poor guy.

Okay. I need to get
this party over with

before Lydia gets back
from the witch doctor.

First, we send out
invitations.

[Whispering]

[Heads whispering]

Wendy, I wanted to
keep this quiet!

Duh, that's why I whispered.

No big deal. I can do this.

Invites are done.

Quasimodo can make
the finger sandwiches.

I'll find an empty casket
for the service. Hank,

you make sure Uncle Gene stays
awake and finishes that game.

And, Pedro, I need you to
walk the Cerberus.

Gotcha! Wait? What?!

Sorry, but a good manager
knows how to delegate.

[Clock ticking]



We are gathered here today

to celebrate the 4,000 year life
of my dear Uncle Gene.

[Gasping]

But, as we know,
he got bored easily.

Let's skip to the very end.

Gene had a weak stomach and the
taste buds of a baby wolverine.

But he loved my
beef smellington.

And I loved giving him
the food poisoning.

You might say we had a
head to head relationship.

Come on, Gary's lucky necklace,
don't fail me now!

The second time I gave Gene
food poisoning--

Oh, no, wait. It might've been
the third time.

Okay, thank you, we get it.

[Blubbering]

[Groaning]

Yes! [Laughing]

[Smooching]

Oh, yes! Thank you, Gary!

And that is how it's done, kid.

[Snoring]

[Stomach roaring]

Whoa, do I have
a monster appetite.

[Laughing]

Get it? Because--
Oh, what do you know?

[Retching]

Ew. Okay.
That's enough.

Sorry. Sorry again. Sorry!

Um, I know this is unorthodox,

but could I say a few words?

[Clearing throat]

Uh, has anyone
seen my scythe?

Oh! [Screaming]

Well, that's one way to
solve your problem.

GARY:
Why are my shoes
on the wrong feet?!

Oh, my mistake.
These are gloves.

[Growling]

This couldn't get any worse.

Oh, Mavis, yes it could.

[Gasping]

Holy rabies. Uncle Gene!

Moment of silence!
Bow your heads!

[Gary laughing]
Or roll heads.
That works too.

What are you doing?!

I finished the game!

Great. So, give his charm back.

No way, it's too lucky.

I'm keeping it.

Ooh.

You know, since I'm here,

maybe I should say
a few words about myself.

It's almost as if I can hear
his voice right now.

[Shouting]

No!

[Panting] This probably
isn't a good time.

But I just heard your
Aunt Lydia is coming.

This is so bad!

[Panting]
Uncle Gene is missing!

[Gasping]

[Grunting]

I mean, I--
I miss him so much.

That's all! Thank you all
for coming.

See you next time.
You can go. Now.

Now is when you
should go. Okay.

Get on out of here.

[Grunting, panting]

Lovely service.

And now that it's over, I can
finally get my lucky necklace.

Is it in the casket?

GENE:
Nope.
Gene?

Is that you?

GENE:
Um, no.

[Laughing nervously]

[Growling]
[Screaming]

[Screaming]

I hate walking the dog!

Hey, keep it down,
I'm trying to pretend to be--

Uh-oh.

Gene? You're alive?!

[Roaring]

Yes. But not for long. Run!

[Screaming]

[Screaming continues]

[Screaming]

[Snarling]

[Screaming]

Oh, no. The bottomless pit!

[Screaming]

[Thudding]

HANK:
Huh. Bottom after all.

[Laughing]

[Gasping]

Now I'm dead.

I'll miss you, Mavis.

But I promise to throw you
the best fun-er-al ever.

So, Gene's not gone after all.

Well, I'd be mad but it's--

it's nice to know
I didn't mess up.

And I got my lucky necklace
back.

So, I'm going to let this slide.

Word to the wise, don't ever
become superstitious,

it'll ruin you.

I'll see you next week.

[Bawling]

BOTH:
Phew.

Mavis!

Everything seems to be
in suitable condition.

The hotel is quiet and,
dare I say, pleasant.

You didn't do quite as terrible
a job as I'd anticipated.

That's 'cause I'm ready for more
responsibility around the hotel.

Got everything under control.

[Growling]

"On the occasion of
Uncle Gene's passing.

"So sorry for your loss."

[Laughing nervously]

I guess we'll find out if
they fixed that funny bone.

GENE:
Come on, take it!

Come on, come on!

GENE:
Get behind the guy.

[Video game chiming]

Yes! Wolf Pup helper!

GENE:
Oh, curse you, Mini-Cake.

Gotta spin save that helper.
[Grunting]

I don't want to be that mummy,
but you were kind of supposed to

teach me to throw
a Kaboomerang today.

And go lice skating with me.

[Sighing]

And play Whack-A-Troll with me.

Ooh!

Sorry.
I know I've been bailing.

But Uncle Gene needs my help.

Ooh! Rainbow Doom is the
one game I could never b*at.

I thought they took it
off the market

because it was impossible.

They did. And it is.

But I think by combining two
vampire brains,

we have a chance.

Uncle and niece together again!

Don't worry, guys,

I'll be out of here
as soon as we b*at the boss.

[Video game chiming, gasping]

[Growling]

Piece of cupcake.

Dragon droppings!

We need to take it slow
and work together.

We've been playing slow
for a week straight.

Time to rush and crush!

[Booming]

"Butter" luck next time.
[Giggling]

It's okay. This time use your
jelly power up and I'll--

Rush and crush!

Mavis!

Seems your friend
dessert-ed you.

[Laughing maniacally]

Those dessert puns are going to
give me day-mares.

Okay, no biggie.

We'll just have to restart
this level again.

Mavis, come on,
you'll never finish this game.

[Controls clicking]

[Yawning]

[Whistle blowing]

Bathroom time? Has it been
six months already?

Time flies when you're immortal.

Don't tell Uncle Gene.

But I got a cursed code
for the game.

What? It's too dangerous.

I thought I told you not to go
see Sheldon in the dark web.

You did.
And I totally ignored it.

Hello?

Anymonster home?

[Buzzing]

Who is it?!

Sheldon, I need a code
to b*at Rainbow Doom.

Well, I have something.

But codes from the dark web
are cursed.

So, there's no way you can
handle the power

that comes with it.

Yeah. You're probably right.

I'll just be on my way.

Whoa! Look out! Is that the rain
coming to wash you out?!

Oh, no! Where is the sun
to dry it all up and--

She's gone.

It's truly amazing how many
times I've fallen for that one.

[Buzzing]

Input cursed code.
Get to the end.

Totally bypass Red Velvet.
[Game chiming]

[Gasping]

I can't look.

[Beeping]

[Grunting]

[Video game chiming]

[Growling]

Cheater!

You'll pay for this!

I will have my just desserts!

Awesome.

Boom, drac-alacka!

Game over!

Mavis, you b*at the game?

By yourself?

How?

Uh, you know, mad skills.
Rush and crush.

Hey, Ghoul Gamers, guess what?

My great, great, great,
great, great-niece

is great, great, great,
great, great, greater

than any other niece you have.

Go ahead!

Grab all your gear, g*ng, we're
going to have a lice skating

kamboomeranging
Whack-A-Troll time!

[Cheering]

[Panting]

[Grunting]

[Groaning]

What in the Underworld?

I must've been gaming
a little too long.

Meh.

Did that just happen?

I think that just happened.

[Gasping]

[Grunting]

[Video game music playing]

This is so weird.

But also kind of awesome.

Oh, sorry. Not you, Fifi.

Well, you got
the weird part down.

[Laughing]

Whoa!

I don't know what's going on.

[Groaning]

But I'm pretty sure I'm going to
get blamed for it.

[Video game chiming]

A magic bean?

No way!

[Grunting]

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Snagging all the coins!

Hm. Anyone notice

the lobby is looking
a little different today?

New rug, maybe?

Wait! You see it too?

I thought it was just
from that bump on my head.

We see it, all right.

It's like we're in
a real live video game.

Okay, I'm not sure
what's happening.

So, we need to be careful.

PEDRO:
Yeah, yeah!

[Cheering]

Or not. Whoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

How's this for hanging out?

[Pixelated thumping]

Oh, my goblins, it's Red Velvet,
the boss from the game!

No one skips out on dessert.

[Retching]

Ah! Mavis!
Where'd she go?

What flavor's the icing?!

She b*at the boss all by herself
just like a piano prodigy.

But better because
it's video games.

It's cupcake crushing time!

Why did I say that?

And did I just respawn?

This isn't good.

Ugh!
Yeah, well of course it isn't.

It's called a cursed code
for a reason.

What'd you think
was going to happen?

Um, well...

[Cheering]

That's my Mavis!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great story.

But if you don't
b*at Red Velvet,

you lose all your lives

and she'll take over
the entire Underworld

and turn everything
into the game!

And it's already started.

You want to ask Gene for help?

[Shushing] No. No way.

He can't find out
I used a cursed code.

I don't want to let him down.

I can do this.

Game on!

[Video game chiming]

It's cupcake crushing time!

Okay, playing this game
is way harder in real life.

You know, instead of
rushing and crushing,

you should just wait for--

[Screaming]

[Video game chiming]

It's cupcake crushing time!

Reinforcements.

Or--

[Video game chiming]

[Coughing]

As if! Face it, Count Snackula,
Mavis rules!

Who cares if your nephew
invented gummy worms?

All worms are gummy.



[Grunting]

Woo-hoo!

Oh, no.

Guys?

It's just like in the game.

Holy rabies. What have I done?

[Laughing maniacally]

Okay, you overrated
sugar muffin!

You're going to
pay for that!

[Grunting]

[Laughing]

[Panting]

That's the way
the cookie explodes!

[Laughing maniacally]

It's cupcake crushing time!

GENE:
Respawned again, huh?

Uncle Gene? You know?

You can only trick me
three or four times.

Also Shelly told me.

MAVIS:
What?!

Mavis, a cursed code?

Yes. I'm sorry.

I just wanted to help you
finish that impossible game

and then hang with my friends.

But now they've kind of
turned 8-bit.

Isn't that always the way?

You know, I could've
used a cursed code too,

but I enjoyed playing the game
with you.

So, that's why you wanted me
to take it slow?

To spend more time with me?

Yes. But it's also just
a sound strategy

to take down the big boss.
Common sense, really.

Well, we could spend some time
saving the Underworld together

right now!

I'd love to!

[Sniffling]
Aw.

Red Velvet picked the wrong
gamers to mess with today!

How do you like my new upgrade?!

It's fang-tastic.

[Grunting]

[Laughing maniacally]

Whoa!

[Laughing]

[Zapping]

Your speed saved us!

[Laughing]

Yeah! But I think
that just made her mad.

[Roaring angrily]

Maybe if we surrender,

our new cupcake overlord
will go easy on us?

No way! We just need
to work together!

Wendy, time to lace up
the lice.

[Giggling]

We're finally lice skating.

Whoo!

[Retching]

[Screaming angrily]

Now, Uncle Gene!

It's cupcake crushing time!

[Laughing]

Whoo!

[Grunting]

Hank, start whacking!

Huh? Oh, yes.
I got this!

Bad cupcake. Cupcake bad!

[Grunting]

[Growling]

It's not over yet!

[Gasping]

Oh, no! Mini mad-cakes.

Mavis, grab that power up!

[Grunting]

Sugar rush and crush!

[Panting]

[Grunting]

You're up, Pedro!
Finish this!

But you haven't taught me
how to throw it yet!

Oops. Well,
just flick your wrist!

Seriously? That's it?

I waited two weeks for you to
tell me to flick my wrist?

I feel like you probably
could've just said that

at any point.

Just throw it!
Sorry. Please?

[Grunting]

[Growling]

Ah, buttercream.

[Cheering]

Aw, man.

I was going to 8-bite
the heck out of that.

So, what now?

I just downloaded
the game's sequel.

They say it can't be b*at.

Ah! Don't worry about that.

I know a guy.

What?

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