02x02 - The Goat Cheese Prophecy

[bunniefuu]

[snoring]

[squeals]

[baby coos]

Hey, there, Kipo.
You hungry?

Of course you are.
Because you're a baby.

I-I'll find us somewhere safe to eat.

[coos]

[grunts]

[screeches]

♪ Rock-a-bye Kipo ♪

♪ There aren't giant scorpions
Following us ♪

[panting]

[growls]

[crying]

[panting]

[crying continues]

[grunts]

[sighs]

My life just got saved by a baby.

[coos]

- Aw...
- [grunts]

Ow-ow-ow!
Put it away. Put it away!

Can you put it away?

[yawns]

Don't worry, we'll figure it out.

Boop!

- [rumbling]
- Huh?

I can't believe Scarlemagne
smoked Ratland.

Aw, man, now I'll never
get to ride the heart swallowing,

spine crackling, knee dislocated teacups.

Yeah, right.
You were never gonna ride that.

[scoffs] Yeah, I was.

I'm sorry, Dave.

If I could've turned into the Mega Jaguar,
I could've saved Ratland.

Yeah, well, I'm missing out because of you
and not because I'm scared.

Kipo, there's nothing you could've done.

[sniffs] This is for you, Ratland.

[sniffs] Oh, it's just too much.

[hip-hop music plays]

Bonjour!
And welcome to Vanland!

It's a work in progress.
But we have one ride!

It's-it's this.

Yeah, uh-huh. To be clear,
the teacups were destroyed, right?

Brad! Amy!
I'm so glad you guys got away.

Yeah, just barely.

Apparently, Scarlemagne does not like
mutes mixing with humans.

Ratland was just
a beautiful dream of ours.

[gulps]
All species welcome.

But it's OK.

Because now our work, our home,
and our car are all the same thing!

It's... it's this.

- Uh... it's still this, the van.
- Can we take you anywhere?

Actually, yes!

We're trying to get to
the Chevre Sisterhood.

They need to help me control this.

Oh, I'm so glad you said something.
I noticed but I didn't want to be rude.

The Chevre Sisterhood.

Oh, you mean the blind goats!
We've only heard of them.

They're very mysterious.

We can't take you to them,
but we can get you close.

Great!

[clears throat]
Entrance fee.

Oh, right!

Ooh, it's official!

My favorite Vanland ride is
"Van: The Ride!"

- [tires screeching]
- [grunting]

Here we are, Eyeball Woods!

Remember, you don't find them,
they find you.

If they find you, would you mind
bringing us some of their famous cheese?

I'll take Havarti!

So, what do we do now?
Just sit here and wait?

Gah!
This is so boring!

I'm sure the Chevre Sisters
will find us in no time.

- [roars]
- [screaming]

[all gasping]

[grunts]

Tell me, Lemieux.
Which one of us is more handsome?

Uh... I, uh...
You, sir!

So, you find my painting subpar?

No, no, no! It's exquisite!

It makes you look... dignified?

You don't find me dignified in real life?

I... I...
Uh... I...

[cries] It's terrible!

[grunting

[sighs]

- Ah, look at you, Lio.
- [grunts]

You could almost be mistaken
for an actual noble.

All that's missing is...

I'd prefer an outfit from this century.

Hm. Rude.

Now, come along!

What you see out there

are the future foundations
of my new city, Aurum.

Your people have the privilege
of building it for me.

[grunting]

[panting]

[gasps]

That's the spirit!
Back on your feet!

Don't stop lifting
until the very last beam is in place!

But you see,
I'm running low on pheromones.

There's only so much
one mandrill can sweat.

And that, dear Lio,
is why I am so glad we are reunited.

[Kipo grunts]
Let me outta here!

[grunting]

[groans]

[growls]

[gasps]

[group chanting]
Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

[gasps]

The cheese tells me we have a visitor!

The cheese told all of us that, Florabel.

It doesn't have a special
relationship with you.

We all heard it.
The cheese is being pretty loud today.

And it's screaming
that she brought friends!

[gasps]
The cheese is so wise!

No way.

Rule number 93 of the surface:
don't trust anyone who talks to cheese.

But I do trust my dad.
He sent me here for a reason.

But was it a good one?

[growling]

[snorts]

Forgive us for Bornak and Webber

but travel by pig mouth is the only way
to keep our location, shh, a secret.

There are literally hundreds
of other ways.

[squealing]

It's OK, Mandu, these nice goats
are going to train me now.

- Train you?
- Train for what?

[gasps]
There's a train?

Oh. I thought you knew...
or that the cheese would know?

Doesn't matter,
I'm here because my dad, well,

both my parents actually,
made me part mute.

Part Mega Mute.

Well, part Mega Jaguar, actually.

[chuckles]
[clears throat]

Let me start at the beginning.

[deep breath]

I'd like you to reproduce my pheromones.

You are a chemist, after all.

I even got you chemistry sets
from an old toy store.

Another brilliant idea of mine.

If you think I'd help you do that
to my own people... you're insane.

[laughing]

Right again, Lio! I'm unhinged!

[whooping]

- I wonder who made me that way.
- It doesn't have to be this way.

There's an amazing world out there,
and if we took a different path,

- we could work together to--
- Pass.

- Now get to work!
- I should get to work!

And shower me with praise as you do.
[giggles]

You are the epitome of class,
style and might.

My daughter doesn't stand a chance
against you, even with her powers.

Powers, you say?

Basically, I need to learn
how to control my power,

become a Mega Jaguar,
and save my people! Like, now!

[panting]

I know, right?
That's a lot.

Oh, young lady,
that sounds like a lot of responsibility.

Are you ready?

To learn how to do all that?
Yes!

I am ready for your infinite wisdom.

It's supposed to be
a dangerous transformation.

You can help her with that, right?

Oh, of course.
But first...

- [bleats] Cheese!
- We make cheese!

- We're gonna make cheese?
- We're gonna make cheese!

[both] We're gonna make cheese!
We're gonna make cheese!

What?

Hey! Didn't you hear Kipo?

People are counting on her,
she needs help now.

We don't have time for cheese!

We might have time for cheese.

It's OK, Wolf.
It is a little bit weird.

No, Kipo, it's very weird.

But if I have to make cheese
to start training, I'll do it.

And if I have to eat that cheese,
I'll do it.

I'll do it.

All right, guys.
Let's do this.

Ah-ah-ah.

This is a journey she must go on alone.

Alone with us!

What? Why?

Sacred wisdom.

- I totally buy that.
- I don't.

[roaring]

- Hey.
- Don't worry, Wolf!

[imitating Bev]
Sacred wisdom.

Wow!
It's cheese-making heaven in here.

Huh?
What are these for?

You just put the herbs in.

You must evenly distribute them
while the curd cooks.

Just a pinch at a time.
Like this.

Herbs in, herbs out.
Herbs in, herbs out.

Oh. That's it?
That's all I have to do?

Herbs in, herbs out.

Oh, we'll do the rest.
It's easy, dear.

You just...

[overlapping chatter]
...get your milk to 88 degrees,

- then measure your rennet.
- Then there's draining the curd,

- and then salting the curd...
- Then you add the coagulant,

- test for gel firmness and cut the curd!
- And that's when you put the herbs in!

Uh... what was all of that?

Oh, you just keep at it
with the herbs, dear.

Does it look like
we can see what you're doing?

Say it out loud.

Herbs in? Herbs out?

- Herbs in... [grunts]
- Whoops.

- Yowch!
- [gasps] What's wrong?

Did you forget to put the herbs in?

Nope.

I'm on it!

[winces in pain]
Herbs in! Herbs out!

Herbs in!

[gasps]

Bev, will you toss me
those ghost peppers?

[screams in pain]

Oh, don't forget those herbs!

Herbs in. Herbs out.

- Herbs in...
- Girls, the milk isn't hot enough!

Um, uh, uh, it's pretty hot!

[inhaling deeply]

[screams]

[grunts]

Ooh! The milk is curdling.

Time to cut the curd!

[yelps]

Uh...

[Ida]
I don't hear you putting herbs in!

Herbs in.
Herbs out.

Herbs in.
Herbs out.

Herbs in.
Herbs out.

[snorts]

[straining]

OK, you asked for it.

[grunting]

Oh, come on!

Wolf, you are messing with forces
you can't possibly understand.

You do not want to make that cheese mad.

Don't be ridiculous, Dave!
Now help me move this pig.

I'm sure it's fine, Wolf.

If Kipo needs our help,
she'll let us know.

Come on!

Come on!

[roars]

She... she let us know.

[squealing]

Good job, Mandu.

[groans]

[gasps]

What did you do to our friend?!

Is something wrong, dear?

Yes!

[snorts]

[grunts]

I still don't get how or why
all this happens.

And if I can't figure that out,
I can't become a Mega Jaguar

and help everyone who's counting on me!

I came here for help,
but instead I'm, like, half-jaguar.

Also, I smell like cheese!

- Good.
- That's what we were going for!

Including the smell!

[grumbles] What?!

Sorry to put you through all that,

but we needed you to see that the jaguar
is always there to protect you.

That's why I threw knives at you!

- How do you know all this about me?
- You're ready to hear the tale.

Your poor father was on the run...

looking for shelter.

He had just lost your mother,

and he had to abandon the burrow
where you were born.

He wandered into our forest.

Oh, boy. The cheese tells me
they just spat up a baby.

Aw.
Too precious.

[Florabel] He asked us for guidance,
so we had him make cheese.

[Benson]
Is that your solution to everything?

[Dave]
It's a good solution!

[coos]

- It went away!
- Yes, because she feels safe.

You can stay here for a few days,

but I'm afraid the surface
is no place for your little Kipo.

If she stays up here,
the jaguar will be the dominant side.

If you want her human side
to remain in control,

you need to foster that.
In a burrow.

And make sure to water her every day!

We can't go back to our burrow.

There are other burrows.
I heard about it, from the cheese.

What about when it's time for her
to become a jaguar?

You just bring her right on back.

[coos]

You hear that, little one?

One day you'll be back here.

Kipo! Your arm!

[gasps]
It's going away!

[gasps]
But why won't it go all the way?

Breathe deep.

Now think about being safe
with your father.

Herbs out.

Herbs out.

It worked!
[gasps]

How did that...?

Oh, the gesture
helps ground and focus you.

Try again! When you do herbs in,
think about needing that jaguar.

When you do herbs out,

remember how it felt
to be safe with your dad.

Herbs in.

Herbs out.

- [gasps] Kipo, you did it!
- I did it!

- I controlled it!
- [laughs] Paw master!

[squeals]

That-that-that-that-that-that's
two human hands.

I knew these goats were for real!

Does anybody need a paw?
Because I got one.

Herbs in!

- [gasps]
- No? No one needs it?

- That's OK. Herbs out!
- [grunts]

I have to admit,
even I'm impressed.

Does this mean I'm ready to become
the Mega Jaguar and save my people?

Let's consult the cheese, shall we?

So, the girl with the purple jaguar paw
who got past my guards,

and is immune to my pheromones,
is actually your daughter.

Fascinating.

Of course, this means
I'll have to eliminate her.

Although, if she could control
her inner beastie,

and I could make her
sympathetic to my cause...

Why, I'd be unstoppable!

Imagine if your little
science experiment was my pet!

[gasps]
[grunts]

[gasps]

Good luck.
You don't know Kipo.

- Ooh, ooh.
- [grunts]

Careful now.
Don't want to spill a drop.

Thank you, Lio.

Now I have my army,
and an endless supply of pheromones.

All I'm missing is Kipo.

[giggles]

[snorting]

[snorts]

[all chanting]
Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

[groans]
They put their nasty hooves in it.

- [chanting] Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.
- What a waste of cheese.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

[squeals]

If you wish to save your people,
you must indeed become the Mega Jaguar.

But the beast within you is strong.
Too Strong.

If you become the Mega,
you will lose yourself to it.

- [roaring]
- [all gasp]

What?
But what about herbs in, herbs out?

It isn't enough.

Once you become a Mega,

you will lose sight of everything
that makes you human.

But your path is not set in stone.

You can prevent this future.

Together, you must find something tangible

that binds you
to who you are at your core.

A core that's on the outside.

An an-chor!

An anchor will guide you
out of the beast.

The cheese has spoken.

But who am I at my core?

I used to be Kipo, happy-go-lucky girl
from the Clover Burrow.

But I'm not even from the Clover Burrow.

If I don't know where I'm from,
how am I supposed to know who I am?

Then start at the beginning!

Oh, that sounded smart.
Did I say that?

I was born in another burrow.

My parents' burrow.

I never knew that.

That's where we'll go.

That's where I'll learn about myself,

so I can find the thing
that reminds me of me.

Why did my dad abandon it?

- He didn't tell us, kid.
- Well, do you know where it is?

I'm afraid the cheese can't make it out.

Yeah, it's not really reliable
for directions.

[snorts]

That's OK, because we can find it.

Wait.
Where did you guys get the milk?

[all chanting]
Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.

Feta, gouda, chevre, fromage.