03x07 - Requiem for a Dave

[bunniefuu]

-[snoring]
-[crickets chirping]

[squeals]

-[grunts]
-[Mandu squeals]

[snorts, purrs]

[Greta] In here!

[panting]

Is the Mega Jaguar still following us?

Uh, the Earth isn't shaking,
so I don't think so.

Did you see the look on Kipo's face
when we cured those mutes?

Didn't sit right with me.

And why didn't the cure work on her?

The cure didn't affect her?

Emilia used Kipo's DNA to make the cure.
She's immune!

That Jaguar will destroy us
before she lets us cure the surface!

You all saw her try to eat me!

Kipo doesn't eat people.
We're gonna be fine!

Besides, Dr. Emilia always has a plan.

-[Dr. Emilia grunts]
-[bang]

[panting]

Everyone to the boat. Now.

[groans] Sorry. Sorry.

Well, the good news is,
if Emilia's that upset, it means Kipo won.

Right?

[theme music playing]

Oh, Brad.
You're too short to ride... anything!

[screams, sobbing]

It's all right, brother.

You'll feel better once you
get your turtleneck back on.

[yelling] No, no, no.

No! Carton, stop!
You know those are empty calories!

[snorting]

I told them they'd be safe here.

It's not your fault, Kipo.

Yeah, we'll find a way to fix this.

-Kipo!
-Are you okay?

We saw Dr. Emilia
heading back to the boat, and...

Song.

She cut through the wall,
and they started curing everyone.

It didn't work on me,
but it was our people, Dad.

They did this.

Oh, Kipo. Come here.

Well, we've got everything
we need to make the vaccine.

It'll take some time,
but we'll get started right away,

and then they'll never be able to do
anything like this again.

That's great! Isn't it great, Kipo?

But how many will they cure while we wait?

They're gonna keep attacking.

I have to fight back.

I have to sink their boat.

[roars]

-Kipo!
-We can't let her do this.

If she does, it'll ruin her!

We'll stop her. You finish the vaccine.

We need it now more than ever.

-Okay. Just bring our girl back.
-We will.

How exactly are we gonna stop a Mega Kipo?

I have an idea.

-[squealing]
-[barking]

We totally forgot to tell you--

Wolf is kind of the boss
of these dogs now.

[barking]

Kipo, you've gotta stop.

Just hear us out!

[growling]

What are you guys doing?

Stopping you from making a huge mistake.

-Hm, you don't wanna do this.
-I don't.

But Emilia's cure, her army,
everything is on that boat.

They're not giving me any other choice.

Before you do that, uh, uh,
Dave needs to tell you something.

I do?

Oh, yep, I do! [chuckles]

You know this isn't the first w*r
between humans and mutes.

I've got a story
that will give you a full 360

on this whole sink-the-ship business.


So I'll be exactly where I am right now?

Probably!
I don't know circle math! Whatever!

Just buckle up, 'cause this doozy
starts 200 years ago.

It was a hot summer in the city.

[Dave] And humans still
were getting used to the fact

that mutes were suddenly
walking and talking.

[crowd screaming at a distance]

[screaming]

[Dave]
I guess it was kind of an all-out w*r,

but I had bigger things on my mind.

[music playing]

♪ You... ♪

♪ Are the reason why ♪

Ah!

Oh, yeah!

That's the good stuff right there.

[man] Hey, bug!

[Dave] Until one day the fight found me.

Give me that fan!

No!

[grunts]

I did all the hard work
of finding it a second ago.

-It's mine.
-[panting] Not anymore!

It's my fan now! [grunts]

[groans] Ohh!

Stupid bug man!
This city is ours! [laughing]

[gasps]

[Dave] My most prized possession,

ripped away by an adult
in a robot t-shirt.

But, being Dave, I wasn't gonna give up.

-[animal squealing]
-[humans gasp]

[gasps]

So I led a bunch
of Mega Beavers into the city.

[laughing]

[screams]

[Dave] Those big boys toppled buildings
like they were twigs in a dam.

Yo, Daves, look what I got!

-[all together] Dave! Dave, Dave!
-[Dave] You're really far away!

Nice!

And that's how I got my fan back.

Wait, wait, wait. There are more Daves?

Oh, there were a ton of Daves.

There was Dave, Dave, David,
I did not like that guy,

and of course, Doctor Dave.

Man, I miss those dudes.

So, do you get what I was tryin' to say?

Uh, that humans
have always been selfish and mean,

and the only way to stop them
is with a Mega Mute.

No! But I see how you got there.

Let me tell you what happened next.

Wait... where are Benson and Wolf?

Okay, look, Dave's story was
just a way to buy us some time.

Well, it started that way,
but I actually might have a point.

I brought you here for a reason, Kipo.
Just follow me.

Wow. Wh-who listens to me? Nobody, right?

My old burrow?

Hey, Dr. Emilia,
we got the engines started.

Hopefully Kipo can't find us
if we're on the move.

I've been working my whole life
to undo the Great Mutant Outbreak

and erase the monsters
who stole our world.

And now it's all going to be undone
by some wide-eyed 13-year-old girl?

-[glass shatters]
-[gasps]

They're not monsters all the time.

-What did you say?
-Uh, nothing.

I just meant I talked to some of them--

Through the bars of a cage
that they kept you in!

We are humanity's last hope.

Don't forget what side you're on, Zane.

Why'd you bring me here?

Come on, Kipo,
we're gonna be late for school!

There's nothing here.
What are you talking about?

Advanced geometry.

Mister Filburn is gonna be mad
if we miss the bell.

Okay, class, today we're learning
about math, which has numbers in it.

And... Ring! Ring!

School's done. Here's some diplomas.

Wow! All that learning made me hungry.

Let's go to Mrs. Graham's bakery.
Oh, look, we're here.

Guys, we don't have time for--

Everyone has time for their favorite cake.

Chocolate and peanut butter frosting,
and chocolate chunks.

-Ho-ho-ho-ho!
-All right, all right, stop.

[Wolf] But you've been gushing about
your people since the day we met.

We're just trying to remind you
that you love them.

But they're not my people anymore.

They're an army,
an army that's erasing my friends.

But you're still Kipo!

The surface was a w*r zone
before you got here,

and you've almost brought that to an end
because you always see the best in people.

If you do this, you're gonna lose that.

-We're all gonna lose that.
-We'll lose a lot more if I don't.

Anyway, could you please let me
finish my story?

[Benson] Forget it, Dave.
Plan didn't work.

Maybe yours didn't,
but I'm onto something!

And by the end, you're gonna be all like,
"Dave, you're a genius.

You did it again!"

-[yells]
-Okay.

So, there I was...

-[sighs] Make it quick.
-Where was I?

Super-hot, Daves rule, Mega Beavers...

Oh, yeah!

It had been 40 years since I found my fan,
and I was basically a hero to the Daves.

You're the best, Dave!

Thank you, David! That means a lot.

-Can you believe that guy?
-[man] Now!

[yelling] Robots!

I knew this day would come!

I'll protect you, my Daves.

Get out of here, robots! Shoo!

Shh, shh! [growling]

We demand... the fan!

Never! This fan belongs to the Daves,

so get your cold,
rusty fingers away from me.

[all gasp]
You're no robot, you're that dweeb.

Nay, I am the grandson of that dweeb.

You stole the great fan
our people were promised, bug man.

And now, generations later,
we have come for our breezy revenge.

Fanatics, att*ck!

[all yelling]

[upbeat music playing]

[squealing]

[Dave] Of course, I fought bravely.

[yelling] Run away, run away!

[panting] I'll never let them have you.

[music continues]

[crying]

[laughs]

And that's how I lost my fan.

So, the lesson is...?

The first time. I'm not done yet.

Thus the Great Dave Wars began.

Naturally, I became
the commander of the Dave Army.

[groans]

For fan! Move, move, move!

Every single day, it was the same fight.

We'd win the fan,
then they would win the fan,

over and over for 200 years.

And you're probably thinking,
"No big deal. Daves are immortal."

But the fanatics figured out
our one weakness.

[gasping]

[yelps]

And over time,
there were fewer and fewer Daves.

Until I, Dave, was the only Dave left.

You can die? How?

Oh, it's so dumb. All you have to do is...

Wait a minute! No way!

I am not falling for that again!

So, humans are the reason
you're the only Dave.

I think you all are focusing on
the wrong parts of the story,

which makes sense because I haven't
gotten to the part you should focus on.

-You see--
-Thanks, but I've heard enough, Dave,

and I've never been
more sure of what I need to do.

If I don't fight back now,

every mute on the surface
will end up like your friends,

and I won't let that happen.

Wait, Kipo, you really do need to listen
to the rest of Dave's story.

I finally know where he's going with it.

It's the story of--

[whistles]

-[barking]
-Come on!

[siren blaring]

[barking]

No one skips out on Dave's story time!

[growls]

You need to get to her
before she reaches the boat!

-Uh, yeah, I know that, dude.
-Hurry, Dave!

[squeals]

She's coming for us! Run!

[crowd screaming]

Dad, why is everyone afraid of Kipo?

[gasps] You did it, didn't you?

You hurt Kipo's friends.

I was doing what I had to, for you,
Doag, to make the surface safe.

You didn't do this for Doag,
you did it for Hoag!

[gasps]

[grunts]

Get us out of here!

I know you're angry,
but please just listen.

Yeah, you're gonna love
the epic ending to my thrilling tale.

[overlapping shouting]

As I was saying,
although I was the last of the Dave army,

the fan was safe in my powerful arms...

until the day I met my greatest nemesis.

[gasps]

No!

Yes!

[laughs]

[grunts]

A little kid?

-[straining]
-In your face, little kid!

Good thing I installed
that security rock right there.

[chuckles] I can't believe
they thought a kid could b*at me!

Tell your people to give up now
'cause no one defeats Dave!

[laughs]

Oh, no.

Oh, raspberries.

[laughing] Whoo!

I'll find you, young man, and I will...
[snoring]

There was no way I was gonna let
that little weasel

take what was rightfully mine!

[music playing]

[yawns]

[sighs]

Huh?

Eww.

[straining]

-[DAVE] I got it.
-Huh?

Hey!

Hey, give it back here.

[straining, grunts]

-[laughing]
-[boy] Oww!

[music continues]

[roaring]

Hey!

[yelps]

[straining] No!

He was the greatest mind I've ever faced,
but Daves mostly never give up,

and this was definitely
mostly no exception.

Huh?

[gasps]

[Dave] I call that one
the Flaming Phantom! [laughing]

No!

I think it's time I name you.

Hmm, how 'bout Fan? Hey!

Ha! You just got "Bensoned."

[yelps]

Well, you just got "Daved."

You better get comfortable
'cause that's a Dave knot,

un-untiable to anyone but Dave.

-The fan is mine.
-Oh, yeah?

Well, that's a Benson knot. Boom!

[straining]

[gnawing]

I'm coming for you, fan! [gnawing]

Not if I get there first!

[both gnawing] Ow! Stupid rope mouth!

I can't believe the all-powerful Dave
got caught by some gangly kid.

Excuse me? I'm the fiercest warrior
of all the fanatics!

Yeah, right.
You can't even chew through that rope.

Neither can you.

Well, I will because I have to
because no one else is coming for me

because I'm the last Dave. So there.

I'm the last, too.

But there were so many of you dweebs.

Yeah, well, not anymore.

Which means it's up to me
to get that fan back!

[straining]

-[groans]
-Ow!

Being trapped stinks.
There's never any snacks.

Don't say "snacks." I'm starving.

Well, not that it's a competition,
but I am starving-er.

You know, I could hang up here for years,

but you don't want to
go through puby in a tree, trust me.

So, how 'bout this,

we untie each other at the same time,
then we go back to fighting over Fan.

That's what I named the fan, by the way.

-I was calling it Little Breezy.
-Whoa! That's way better.

[laughs]

Fine. On three.

[straining]

-One...
-Two...

-[both] Three!
-Wait.

[both yelling, both grunt]

[groans]

[crying]

Whoa! No, no.

Fire bad, little dude.

What are you doing here?

Mmm. Mmm!

Whoa, not bad.

But it could use a little something extra.

Now try this.

[spitting]

Oh, no, that's horrible!

Why did I eat that?

There was no way that was gonna be good.

Yeah, I don't know anything about cooking.

I'm way better at eating.

[giggling] Great. You eat, I'll cook.

You got a deal, little man.

Mmm. Mmm!

[Dave] We were stuck in
an endless cycle to get that fan.

If we hadn't slowed down and decided
not to fight for just a second--

I wouldn't have my best friend, Benson.

And I wouldn't have my best friend, Dave.

[sniffles] You guys are so weird.

That's what I'm trying to say:
Don't let this be your Fan, Kipo.

[growling]

[roaring]

Welp, I did my best.

[people speaking indistinctly]

Why is Kipo doing this?

She doesn't want us on the surface.

She wants to get rid of us!

That's not true.

She's got this whole HMUFA thing

where she wants
humans and mutes to be friends.

If you like her so much...

[grunts]

why don't you wait for her?

-[crash]
-[both gasp]

[crowd screaming]

[roars]

[indistinct chatter]

[grunts]

You came to my home and hurt my friends,

so I came here to do the same to you.

[all gasp]

But this fighting between humans and mutes
has been happening for centuries.

And I could win today's battle,

but some other humans
would come along to continue the w*r.

That's because you can't
end a w*r by fighting it.

My friends helped me see that.

Dave, you genius. You did it again.

So I'm asking you, my people,

Mr. Filburn, Mrs. Graham, my friends,

to choose to stop fighting
and break the cycle.

Which is why I, Kipo Oak,
am inviting you...

to Prahm.

[music playing]