03x09 - Love and w*r

[bunniefuu]

I'm down to one radium grenade.


- Cover me!
- I've got your back.

Move move! Cyber bug att*ck at 6:00.

Stand aside, brothers in arms! I got him! That was the tv remote.

You just changed the channel.

Sorry, these night vision goggles.

Don't work so well with the lights on.

I still can't believe you're a part of guys' night.

Ho ho, my lounge, my tv.

Don't worry, I got him! Eat space dust, you big
-headed freak! Whoo!
- Hey!
- Did you see that? We won! Yeah! Zack, you just single
-handedly wiped out.

The entire creplock squadron.


- Well
- Hey hey.

Thanks to our fearless Captain, We made elite warrior status.

Ha ha, I'm an elite warrior, The most ferocious in the galaxy.

Oh, I can't wait to tell mother.

And next Friday night we will be playing.

The undefeated team from Australia.

For the title "supreme invaders.

"
- We're gonna knock them into the next galaxy.


- No no no no.

The next galaxy? We're gonna knock them all the way.

To abell 1835 irl916!
- The galaxy farthest from earth is what I
- Whatever.


- The point is we're going to win.


- Uh
-huh.

Galactic gladiators! Careful.

You know I have a sensitive sternum.

oh ay oh, oh ay oh come along with me and let's head out to see what this world has for you and for me now ♪ whichever way the wind blows ♪
- ♪ we say ♪
- ♪ Hey
-ho, let's go! ♪
- oh ay oh
- This boat's rocking
- oh ay oh
- Ain't no stopping us now 'cause we're living the suite life
- oh ay oh
- This boat's rocking
- oh ay oh
- Rocking the whole world round and we're living the suite life now hey ho, oh ay oh let's go! .

Oh, this is stupid.

London, it's a school requirement to do community service.

You have to pick something from this list.

Yeah, but they're all helping people.

And where's the fun in that? Not everything in life is fun, including this conversation.

Look, I'm signed up to help in the playroom.

Oh, I know how to play! I'll do that.

London, it's not playing.

It's helping take care of the passengers' kids.

Ew! Wait, you mean I have to hang out.

With a bunch of sticky booger
-eaters? Undo undo undo.


- It's too late.


- Oh rats.

Don't worry, it'll be easy.

I'm great at babysitting.

Back in kettlecorn, I used to take care.

Of this kid named ellie
-may.


- Oh, was she a neighbor?
- No, our goat.

So, big change on someone's online profile.

Oh, you saw I got my 10th friend? Double digits, baby! Yeah, it's nice that your grandma.

Finally accepted your friend request.

Actually it was my mom.

Nana's still pending.

No, I'm talking about Maya's page.

Looks like she just updated her status.

To "in a relationship.

" You know what this means, Zack? Yeah, she's really into me.

Can you blame her? No It means you gotta change your status too.

And, well, your whole life.

No, I don't.

I already got Maya.

It's smooth sailing from here.

Hah! Smooth sailing, just like the Titanic.

You have no idea how much work it takes.

To maintain a relationship with a girl.

Oh yeah? What work? Well, they always make you put them first.

Suddenly what you want doesn't matter anymore.

When we started dating, Bailey made me join.

Her stupid quilting circle.

You were in that before she was.

Whatever.

My point is Actually, didn't you start the quilting circle? My point is You're gonna have to start making changes, my friend.

No no no.

I'm not gonna change for anybody, not even Maya.

That guy.

What does Cody know about women.

Except that he's a pedicure away from being one? So does this mean you're not gonna change your status.

To "in a relationship"? No way.

Just because Maya changed hers.

Doesn't mean I have to change mine.

Hi, Zack.

Did you happen to notice my status? Of course I did.

So? So nice of you to do that.

And? And I was just about to change mine.

But I wanted to see your face when I did it.

Aw, Zack! See? That's the face! Way to hold your ground, pal.

Huh.

I just got a friend request from a Mildred fink.

Nana? Hurtful.

Hi, kids.

I'm Bailey.

And I'm beary glad to meet you.

Bear ahem.

Come on in, miss london.

No, they're all sticky and germy.

Come on.

London.

Look, an astronaut! No no no no! Let me go! Whoa! Back! Hold them back.

Miss london was just playing lion tamer.

Isn't she fun? Funner than your lame bear shirt.

Told ya.

Uh, actually, Sally, There's no such word as "funner.

" Clearly Not in your world.

Move, grandma, so we can play with the astronaut.

Shh shh.

Look, kids.

Look what I have Vocabulary flashcards! Here's a vocabulary word for you: Bor
-ing! Bailey is boring Bailey is boring Bailey is boring, Bailey is boring .

So I'm getting the arsenal ready for Friday night.

I've got fluvium Rays, pulsar bazookas, flak Guys, guys, look what I've got A new camouflage pocket hanky.

Manly, huh? Ooh, Woody, kudos on the camouflage socks.

Oh, actually they're white.

I just haven't washed them in a month or so.

Oh, it's Maya.

I gotta take this.

Hah, yes, you do.

I told you.

What does she need now? She is coming up to the sky deck with a surprise for me.

You see? She does stuff for me.

Hi, Zack.

Oh, hello.

So what's my surprise? You're looking at it.

Is it invisible? You mean you don't notice anything different about me? Of course I do.

I noticed that Ah, her hair.

That you have hair Hair you have done something to.

Yes.

I don't know the technical term, But I know that it makes you even more.

Incredibly beautiful than you were before.


- Aw, you're so sweet.


- Mwah! Yeah, you're welcome.

By the way, she had her split ends trimmed, A hot oil treatment and subtle caramel highlights.

Congratulations.

You just went from extreme warrior to extreme hairdresser.

Thank you for sharing the giant booger.

You pulled out of your nose.

And yes, it does look a little bit like Santa.

Okay, who's next in the share share? My turn, my turn! Miss london has a special share to show all of you.

Ooh ooh, what's in the box, miss london? Something really funny: Bailey's clothes! Check out the stripes on this thing.

I think there's a zebra running around somewhere.

With no clothes on because miss Bailey here stole them.

Okay, the little hand's on the three.

That means 3:00.

So share time is over.

Oh, don't be sad, because now it's time.

For miss Bailey to teach you all about.

One of the most fun things in the whole world Math! Wow, you're making me miss that kid's Santa booger.

No no no, it'll be fun.

And here to prove it is one of my favorite math friends.

Boys and girls, meet gottfried leibniz.

Guten tag, kinder.

Leibniz? Born in leipzig, 1646? Developed the binary system of arithmetic? I mean okay.

All right, who did that? Hey, that kid was gonna throw a block.

All righty, who's ready for some arts and crafts?
- Yay!
- Great! I'll get the toothpicks and cotton balls.

We can make some awesome Fun, right? Get the glitter.

Now this is funner.


- So, Captain, ready to lead us to victory?
- You bet.

By this time tomorrow night, We will be dancing on aussie alien guts.

Ooh, that reminds me I have to get my camouflage dry
-cleaned.

You know, it says "wash and wear," But it never really is.

Uh, Mr.

Moseby, I I noticed you haven't accepted my friend request yet.

Isn't it enough that we're friends off line? Zack, Zack, Zack, I have the best news ever! I've been invited to read one of my poems.

At poet palooza! Wow, that's fantastic.

You know, I love poetry and paloozas.

Really? Who's your favorite poet? Frost? Dickinson? Oh, wordsworth? I'm more of a Seuss fan, Especially during his "green eggs" period.

So you are gonna be there to support me, right? Are you kidding? Wild horses couldn't drag me away.

Great.

It's tomorrow night at the sky deck at 8:00.

See you there.

Tomorrow at 8:00.

Here's your camouflage for tomorrow at 8:00.


- You had it dry
-cleaned?
- Yeah.

It says "wash and wear," but it never really is.

Look, about tomorrow night, Is 8:00 a hard start, or could we start a little later?
- Like 10:00, 10:30 or something?
- What? You know we can't change the time.

What are you? Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

This is about Maya.

She asked you to change something, didn't she? No, she didn't.

So she didn't ask you to do anything then? No.

This has nothing to do with Maya.

And she's totally okay with you going.

To guys' night tomorrow? Yes.

Okay.

Well, I guess I owe you an apology.

Seems like you've got this whole relationship thing under control.

Yes, I do.

No, I don't.

I can't get rid of that glitter.

I still keep finding it everywhere.

Wow, your ear's more sparkly than your personality.

So, ready for another day of playing with the kids? I was thinking we'd start by playing.

Pin the tail on the Bailey.

Ahh! I think I'll pass.

The kids hate me.

Mm, not just the kids.

I guess I'll just have to give up.

My dream of being a teacher.

And a pediatrician.


- And a mother.


- Yeah.

This is the part where you're supposed to tell me I'm wrong.

Why? You're right.

I don't get it.

Why do you get along with the kids so well? Mm, I don't know.

It's almost as if I have the mind of a six
-year
-old.


- So you're first up, right?
- No.

First up is the haikus, then the quatrains, then the limericks.

Oh, three of my favorite bands.

No, silly.

You know those are all types of poetry.

Heh, yeah.

Thanks again so much for being here to support me.

Absolutely.

You know that I am here for you.

Gotta tinkle.

Okay okay.

the wheels on the limo go .

Hello? A little help here?
- Round and round.


- Are you sure? We're all sure.

Really? I'm thirsty.

Can you open my juice box? Oh yeah, sure.

Guess not.

Why don't these stupid things come with instructions? They do.

Can't you read? I can read betterer than you.

You are d
-u
-m
-b.

I am not ugly! Oh, ew ew! Get away! There's nothing grosser than snot.

Wanna bet? That kid's making a boom boom.

I stand corrected.

We're hungry.

Get our snack.


- Get your personal chef to do it.


- That's you.

Snacks snacks snacks! What? Ew ew! Snacks snacks snacks! That's it! Sit down and be quiet, you little bags of snot! Oh.

You still love me, don't you, gottfried? Ja, Bailey.

I love you more than strudel.

Ahem, ja? I mean hello? Oh boy.


- All right, you guys ready?
- Ready? You're 15 minutes late.

You missed the pregame pilates.

I'll survive.


- Wait, I don't want any makeup.


- Dude, it's tradition.

And it hides my zits.


- It's starting, it's starting.


- Oh yeah, let's get 'em!
- Somebody help me up.

Somebody help me up.


- Okay okay.


- Woody, here, take this.


- Thank you.


- All right.


- All right, Zack, lead us to victory.

Okay, Cody and moseby, activate your antigravity boots.

And hop over that asteroid belt.


- We'll ambush them from the rear.


- Okay, what do I do? Uh, get out there and start waving your hands.


- But they'll blast me out of the sky.


- Just take one for the team.

Oh.

All right, Captain, what do we do now? Uh, I don't know about you guys, But your Captain's gotta tinkle.


- Fight on, men.


- What do I always say about pregame potty? Okay.

Where have you been? I'm next.

I I'm sorry.

There was this huge line in the men's room.

That went all the way around the ship Twice.

What's on your face?
- Excitement!
- And now Maya Bennett.

Ooh, you're up! Now go up there and rhyme.

Rhyme like no one's ever rhymed before.

That's my girlfriend.

He looks at me with loving eyes.

I know he'll never tell me lies.


- Uh
-oh.


- With him I know I'll never grieve 'cause from my side he'll never Leave? Oh my gosh! London? Where's london? What have you done with london? She's in the doghouse.

London? Are you okay? I'm not coming out till you make them stop! Wait Hey.

Hey.

I know how to do this.

Yeehaw! Get along, little kiddies.

Get along.

Come on, now! Get along, get along.

Whee! Oop, I got me a stray.

Come on.

Now get in the corner.

Yeehaw! Time! That got her done.

Wow, for once your stupid farm talk came in handy.

That was fun.

Let's do it again! Okay then.

Who wants to be hogtied and branded.

With nontoxic markers? Yay! Let's get the rich chick! Whoo! On my mark.

Three, two, one, Mark! Oh! We did it! We won, we won! Zack, why are you wearing a tie? Because I knew we'd win.

And I wanted to look good for the group photo.

All in, all in.

Whee.

Ha ha.

There we go.

Galactic gladiators!
- Oh.


- Ah ah.

It's okay, I've got a chest protector.

But there goes my shoulder.

I'll go get the nurse.

Hey, Maya.

Now would be a good time for a lot more camouflage.

Zack, what's going on? Isn't it obvious? Zack's a hero.


- He just led us to supreme invaders status.


- Really?
- Mm
-hmm.


- Oh well, I was thinking of changing my status too, Back to single.

Ooh! Oh, and by the way, I got a standing ovation at the poetry reading.

But you wouldn't know that because you weren't there.

Oh.

Stop it.

Look, Maya, I I really wanted to be there for you, But tonight's the championship.

I'm the Captain and the guys needed me.


- Why didn't you just tell me that?
- Yeah.

Zack, why didn't you just tell her? What are you, scared of your girlfriend or something? Okay, stop.

Stop stop stop stop.

Stop stop.

Zack, look, just 'cause we're in a relationship.

Doesn't mean I expect you to give up your friends.

Really? Really? You're not just trying to trick me by saying something.

You think you need to say but really don't mean? Wow, you really are beginning to get.

This whole relationship thing, aren't you? Look, I'm not saying there won't be times.

When I want you to myself.

But I like you.

And you wouldn't be you if you didn't want.

To hang out with the guys.

Oh, so what you're saying is you like me for me.

And I don't have to change? Well, you could change your shirt once in a while.

Is that "invasion force"? Dude, I love this game.

Give me that controller.

Whoa.

Hey there, little missy.

Are you guys cool with a girl crashing guys' night? We let you in, didn't we? Bullied, broken, beaten down.

At the hands of another.

My heartless tormentor: My very own brother.

Sometimes I feel like his cannon fodder.

While I sleep.

He puts my hand in warm water.

See, london? I told you we could get 'em all to fall asleep.

Huh, missed a spot.