01x22 - Keeping Shop

[bunniefuu]

So, got the goods?

Never you fear,
the pixie man is here.

[Screams]

My kids have been begging
for one of these for years.

Uh, how do you make it
stop scream--

Sorry, yo.
This sale's off.

Unh!
Both: Jake!

It's cool, jakey.

We got your back.
Aah!

[British accent]
Actually, it would appear

that we've got
your backs, love.

Good one, Frankie.

But what's with
the accent?

Ah, just something
I've been working on.

Kind of a fetching
super villian thing, eh?

Ha ha ha! We should
b*at up on people
children more often.

I was just thinking
the same thing about goblins.

[British accent]
I shall have my revenge!

Ok, Frankie, enough
with the accent.

Trixie, spud,
y'all ok?

We should've had
those ugly runts.

Hey, don't sweat it.

Y'all were
tons of help.

[Scoffs] Help?

We're just a couple
of useless sidekicks.

Uh, pump them brakes,
spud.

We got useful
all up in here.

What about that time
we snuck Jake out of
panderas' tower?

Right into
panderas himself.

A'ight, well,

we saved him from rotwood.

After we sold him
to rotwood.

Oh.

Dang, we reek, yo.

That's not true!

Oh, hey!
Want to help me

let the pixie
out of her cage?

Yeah!
Yeah, yeah!

Now you're talkin'.

Now, you have
to be careful

'cause she's
a little riled up.

Aw, hey, little pixie.

Aw, don't worry.

We're here for you.

Ow!

Spud, watch it!

If you shake her up
too much,
she'll get--oh!

Sick.

♪ He's hot
like a frozen sun ♪

♪ He's young and fast ♪

♪ He's the chosen one ♪

♪ People,
we're not braggin' ♪

♪ He's the American dragon ♪

♪ He's gonna stop
his enemies ♪

♪ With his dragon power ♪

♪ Dragon teeth,
dragon tail ♪

♪ Burnin' dragon fire ♪

♪ Real live wire ♪

♪ American dragon ♪

Dragon up!

♪ American dragon ♪

Oh, oh, oh.
Whoa!

♪ He's the American dragon ♪

♪ Skills are
gettin' faster ♪

♪ With grandpa,
the master ♪

♪ His destiny
will walk up sheets ♪

♪ It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪

♪ American dragon ♪

♪ From the "j"
to the "a" ♪

♪ The the "k"
to the "e" ♪

♪ I'm the mackdaddy dragon
of the N.Y.C. ♪

Ya heard!

Jake! Get back
to work!

Aw, man.

Jake: Easy, gramps.

We're only going
for a weekend.

The more we have,
the more smoothly
things will run.

Yo, when I was packing,
you said,

"light luggage
make for light burdens."

For every proverb,
there is an equal
and opposite proverb.

Plus this way,
you can carry mine.

Fu dog, do you have
all the emergency
numbers I gave you?

Right here.

Whoops, wrong fold.

Don't worry about a thing.

We got it all under control.

I told you you couldn't
stack them 30 high!

Maybe not horizontally,

but let's try vertically!

Trixie and spud
are gonna help fu
watch the shop

while we're on
the dragon retreat.

Are you sure you two
are ready for this
responsibility?

Hey, we may not be able
to spew flames...

Or make Lacy pillowcases
with one swipe
of our claws...

Uh, that was for Rose!
I swear!

Careful, you'll rip it!

Watching an electronics
shop for a few days.

They'll be fine, gramps.

Besides, you can't
leave fu dog

in charge
of the place alone.

Why, 'cause he's
a talking dog?

Fu: Uh...

I can fix it.

You two just go
and enjoy your
trainer-student retreat.

We are totally
on this.

Bring on
the customers.

There are no customers,
are there?

No.

Have you ever
sold anything

to anyone... Ever?

Well, there was
this one fella

but turns out
the guy fell off
a St. Patty's day float

and needed
medical attention.

[Spud hollers]

Look at me! Whoo!
I'm all ears.

I tasted some of
this candy fu had,
and then--

Those are incredibly powerful
magic ingredients.

What does this one do?

Whoo!
I'm ambi-dangerous!

Kid!
What's this one do?

Yes! I'm losing my head!

Oh, what about this one?
No!

Not my instant sunshine.

You never know
when you might
need a sunny day.

You have really
done it this time.

Kid, what'd I tell you
just 5 minutes ago?

Don't touch anything.

And if a big toothless guy
named morty

show up saying,
"where's the money"?

Tell him I moved
to machu picchu. Got it?

Um... aah!

I guess I wasn't really
paying attention.

Oh! And I forgot
to tell you.

A friend of yours
stopped by.

Come on in, morty!

Where's the money?

Ok, how about we all
just sit still and--

I'm sorry. What
were you saying?

[Groans]

Don't touch anything,

I got a few hundred
years worth of
magical mojo to reorder.

[Cell phone ringing]

Hey, Veronica, sweetie.

The fu needs
a delivery, honey.

Uh, right now isn't
a very good time.

[People screaming]

The biker trolls
are back in town.

They're running rampant!

Someone's got to
do something!

Hey, watch it!

All right, hold tight,
Veronica.

I'm on this thing.

Ok, we gotta call Jake.

Yo, hold up.
What's going on?

Biker trolls.
Usually harmless.

But, occasionally,
they come into town
looking for trouble.

We need the American
dragon to give them
a good scare.

Um, is this a 2 or an 8?

Uh, I thought dogs
weren't supposed to sweat.

They're not supposed
to talk, either, honey.

Keep up, there,
would you? [Groans]

We gotta figure out
a way to scare off
these trolls.

Wait a minute...

See, now, dog,
you're trippin'.

Yeah, we're just
sidekicks.

We can't
fight trolls.

We can't even
fight pixies.

We can't pull off
this dragon business.

After the b*ating
we took yesterday--

Hey! If you would shut
your sassy mouth
for 2 seconds,

and space boy
would get his head
out of the clouds,

these mountain trolls
are real mama's boys.

And if there's one thing
they're terrified of,

all you've got to do
is show up, and they'll
run, screaming.

Uh, you sure about this?

Hey, come on.
Have I ever
led you two astray?

The only thing better
than a Tijuana hot dog

is chasing it with cold,
fresh, Mexico tap water.

[Whimpers] My intestines
will never be the same.

Ok, so that's that.

Look, all you two
need to do

is show up
at the magus bazaar
in a dragon suit,

for this costume to
pass as the real thing.
You got it?

Um, yeah, I guess
we could handle that.

Right, spud?
Totally.

Good. Then let's
get over there.

Over where?
Magus bazaar, kid.

The magus bazaar!

Oh, yeah, of course.
I think I had
an aunt magus once,

and she was kind of bizarre.
Uh, she...

Ok, we're doomed.

Or maybe it was
aunt Angus.

[People screaming]

Ok, you can do this.

Nice and simple-like.

Dragon up!

Yo, listen up, trolls.

Am-drag is in the hizzouse!

So y'all better just
roll on out of here

before I open up a can of
act right, ya heard me?

We got this thing
all wrapped up.

It's show---unh!

Ooh, magic doormats!

You can wipe your feet,

and then transport
to a distant locale.

Aah!

Spud, listen to me.

We're a dragon now.

Focus!

Gotcha.
Let's do this.

A'ight, which one of you

wants your troll selves
beaten down first?

Oh, let's high-troll it
out of there!

That's right. That's right.
We the dragon, baby.

We kick troll!

You trolls better run.

You the sorriest excuse
for creatures

that I have ever seen!

And don't even
get me started

talkin' 'bout your mama.

What did you say
about our mama?

Ok, bad move.

Uh, insulting a troll's mama

is about the worst
possible thing you could do.

Troll: Dragon's
goin' down now.

Second troll: Who wants
dragon for dinner?

Say your prayers,
reptile.

Raaa!

[Gasps]

Troll: Sun!

Take cover!

It burns!
It burns!

Mountain trolls
turn to stone
when the sun hits 'em.

Lucky for you two.

If it hadn't been
for Trixie's big mouth,

we would've taken
those trolls.

My big mouth?

If you hadn't been
dreaming about those
magic doormat thingies,

those trolls would've
been long gone.

Hey, you can fight
about it later.

Right now, we gotta
get back to the shop
and figure out a plan

before these guys
thaw out at sunset.

But I'm serious about
you two fighting later.

My money's on Trixie to
scratch spud's eyes out,

but you never know.

Then again, if spud
lands a surprise punch--

[telephone ringing]

We're closed.

Uh, I mean,
canal street electronics.

Never had a customer.
Never made a sale.

How may I help you?
Heh heh.

[Speaking Chinese]

What did you destroy
this time?

Hey, nothing!
[Mumbles]

No, straight,
it couldn't be better.

Gotta bounce. Bye-bye.

Bad time to make
a call, gramps.

Ok, I got some ogres
in staten island

who owe me a few favors.

Ogres?

Yeah, well, what about
me and spud?

Look, sister,
this is serious now.

You guys had your
chance, and you blew it.

Come on, fu.

We can do this.

We're just a couple
of helpless slackers

who aren't worth
a second chance.

Yeah, I gotta go
with the slacker thing.
Now, these ogres--

Hold it!

It was your idea
we put on the dragon suit
in the first place.

So I suggest
you stick with the plan,

or gramps will find out
that you made us
do Jake's dirty work.

Ok, the fu always
carries a secret stash
of magical ingredients.

If you're gonna do this,
you're going in armed.

Yes! Fu dog's gonna
give us extra arms!

I'll take 8.

No, make it 17!

Not that kind
of arms, kid.

A little
butterfly spit--bang.

Some essence
of bat sinew--baboom.

And one eye of newt,
which does nothing,

but you gotta have
newt in a potion.

You just gotta.

Huh?

Ok, what just
happened here?

[Burps]

As long as you're
in the suit, you got
dragon powers.

Not as much as Jake,
but maybe enough to
take out a few trolls.

We've got dragon powers?

Oh, we rock!

That's right!

I am dragon.
Hear me roar!

Both: Whoa!

[Burps]

Ooh, our bad.

You ready to
take on some trolls?

Oh, yeah,
we on this, baby!

Whatever it takes!

Ok, let's get
to training.

Training? You mean,
like, work?

You mean, like, now?

Yes, now!

Whoa, fu doggie dog.

We gotta
catch some shut-eye.

Yeah, plus it's,
like, Saturday.

Of chilling, hanging out,
and loitering planned.

Well, Jake always
manages to balance

sleep, chilling,
and dragon training.

Yeah, but...
Yeah...

Aw, man.
Aw, man.

Fu: Ok, let's start
with tail moves.

The costume
is bewitched to move

when spud moves
his, uh, tail area.

Wow! Ha!

That's some motion
in my posterior ocean.

Ok, but the trick is
learning to control it.

Ok, come on.
Knock me down.

Give it a good swish.

Hyah!

Come on.
Give me your best sh*t.

You a dragon or a--doh!

Unh! That's some
left hook you got there.

It's one thing to fly.
It's another to
own the sky.

Flap, flap, flap, flap!

[Both grunting]

Whoo-hoo! I can see
my house from here.

You guys are really getting
the hang of this here.

Spud: Barrel roll!

Kid, no!

You got cargo!

Aah!

Ow.

Fireball training.

Yo, dog,
we was born ready.

Me and spud are so
on top of this thing,

we gettin' short
on oxygen up here.

Ok.

Dragon fire.

On 3.



[Burps]

Whaa!

The dragon head
is the end that
breathes fire!

You gotta
pay attention, dude!

Well, you said me and spud,
meaning me.

Well, you're always saying
something, now, aren't you?

Fu: Aah! Unh! Unh!

Yeah! Yeah, baby!

We got
the tail moves down!

Whoo!

Ok, this is the part
where you put it
all together.

I've taken the Liberty
of drawing up my will,

so as soon as I get
this thing notarized--

Hey!

Ooh...

[Both hollering]

Holy biscuits,
you kids really got
the hang of this thing!

You're awesome!

You're great!

[All shouting]

You're crushing me
with blocks of pain.

Yeah, we're still working
on the landing. Uh...

Well, you're gonna
have to work on it
at magus bazaar,

because
it's show time.

[Growls]

Oh, darn pigeons!

That was my favorite shirt.

Man, I hate it
when that happens.

I know what
you mean, trolls.

Unh!

Aah!
Aah!

Yeah, I taught 'em
everything they know.

[Trolls screaming]

Yeah, that's right.

We gettin' dragon
with it now.

Old school. Nice.

Hey!
Hey!

Hey!
Oof!

Unh!
Unh!

Hyah!

Whoo-hoo!

We are kicking some
serious troll business.

Speaking of serious
troll business...

It's mama.

Both: Mama's coming.

[Engine revving]

[Growling]

[Grunting]

[Roars]

Is this all
you got for mama?

Sweet sister molasses,

your mama's even
uglier than I thought.

I don't think
that's gonna help.

Yeah, ok,
you're right.

You ready
to do this?

All for one!

And one for all!

Raaa!

Which one of you two
insulted mama?

He did.
She did.

[Growling]

Abort! Abort!

Let's get out of here!

Unh!
Unh!

Magic door mats!

Let's glide!

You haven't paid
your tab since '96!

Morty!

Where's the money?

Get 'em!

[Engines roaring]

Both: Whoa!

Spud: Excuse me. Pardon me.

Fu: Hey,
I'm flyin' here!

[Growls]

Aar!

[Mumbling]

Aah!

[Tires squealing]

Trixie: Are they gone?

Fu: No!

Fu: Barricade the door.

We got enough food and water
to survive for days.

Luckily, you kids
knocked over
all those snack carts.

[Pounding on door]

[Telephone ringing]

Canal street electronics.

Never had a customer.

Never had a sale.

How may I help you?

Trixie?

Live and in person,
baby.

What's shakin', jakey?

Gramps said you
sounded a little
weird before.

[Whistle blows]

Uh, weird?
Who's weird?

Everything's running
slicker than grease,
baby boy.

[Slams]

Mama troll: Here comes mama!

Boys, take this place
apart!

Whoa!

[Crashes]

Yo, what's that noise?

Uh, that's just
spud's stomach grumbling.

Yeah, you know how homeboy
can't handle his cheesecake.

[Engine roaring]

Uh, yeah, well,
gotta run.

Bye-bye, babe.

Aah! Unh.

Grandpa: Bad time
to make a phone call.

[Screaming]

Aah!

Magic b.I. So we
can fight these trolls!

Eh, I'm all out of
magic b.I., remember?

[Sighs]

Come on, spud.
Let's take these guys.

We can't do it!

We're not
dragon enough!

Well, then we're just
gonna have to show mama

exactly what these
sidekicks is made of.

Here's mama!

Whaa!

Yikes!

Dragon powers or not,

you trolls are about
to get the business.

Raa!

Smile, mama.

Unh! Aah!

You trolls are toast!

Ow. Whoa!

[Grunting]

Hey, yo, spud,

toss me some more cds!

Whoo! Wow, I wonder
what this one does.

Kid, no! What
did I tell you

about getting
into my stuff?

That's my last...

Instant sunshine!

[Mama groaning]

Mama!

Hey, look here.
Your mama ain't
the only one

who'll be taking a trip
down stonybrook Lane

if you uggos don't
pack up your bad selves

that's what you get
for messing with us.

Yo mama is so
turned to stone that--

That's probably enough.

[Tires squeal]

[Crashes]

We did it!

Yeah, we did it, baby!

But that was all you, spud.

Accidentally pulling out
the instant sunshine...

Chasing the trolls off
with your big,
fat mouth.

Ha ha ha!
Yeah!

And, as usual,
the talking dog gets
no credit whatsoever.

You think gramps
will notice

all the missing
inventory that we broke?

That old man hasn't checked
the inventory for--hey!

How was the retreat?

Surprisingly painful.

How was your weekend?

Mmm, the usual.

Turns out mountain trolls
are now scared
of two things.

Dragons,
and Trixie and spud.

Just some good,
old-fashioned
sidekick whoopin'.

Well, I'm just glad

that everything
turned out ok

while we were--
Aah! Uhn.

Why are there
motorcycle tracks
on my ceiling?

Both: Aw, man.