01x23 - Much Ado About Scrooge

[bunniefuu]

Life is like a hurricane

Here in Duckburg

Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes

It's a duck-blur

Might solve a mystery

Or rewrite history

DuckTales, ooh-ooh

Every day they're out there
making DuckTales

Ooh-ooh

Tales of derring-do,
bad and good-luck tales

D-D-D-danger

Watch behind you

There's a stranger out to find you

What to do?
Just grab onto some DuckTales

Ooh-ooh

Every day they're out there
making DuckTales

Ooh-ooh

Tales of derring-do,
bad and good-luck tales

Ooh-ooh

Not ponytails or cottontails
no, DuckTales

Ooh-ooh

Mommy! Daddy!
It's him!

It's him!

- Him, sir?
- Filler Brushbill,

the super-duper door-to-door salesman.

I'll handle this, Duckworth.

Go away! We don't want any!

Scrooge McDuck, have I got
a fabulous deal for you.

Fabulous! Fabulous!

Uncle Scrooge, it's Filler Brushbill!

I know, Louie, and he's
not sticking one foot inside this door.

Last time we let him in,
he sold us all this useless junk.

What a salesman!

Oh, Mr. McDuck?

Ooh, this calls for my state-of-the-art

super-duper salesman repellent system.

Oh, tsk tsk, you should have bought

your salesman
repellent system from me, Mr. McDuck.

I'd have given you a fabulous deal.
Fabulous!

Now then...

Mr. Duckworth,
I have something very special for you.

A once-in-a-lifetime deal
on a red velvet butler suit.

This is you, Mr. Duckworth.
This is really you.

Oh, please do something, sir.

Red isn't really my color, but velvet?
Ooh!

Phase one will discourage him.

All right, phase two
ought to leave an impression on him.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

What's going on, Louie?

It's Filler Brushbill.

But Uncle Scrooge
isn't gonna let him in.

Good. I already owe him my allowance
for the next six months.

Don't worry, Huey.
Phase three is going to phase him.

You call this a slide-away sidewalk?
Oh, tsk tsk tsk.

I'm afraid you paid good money
for bad merchandise, Mr. McDuck.

Of course, I only sell
top-of-the-line products,

like this fabulous baseball bat
used by Babe Duck himself.

Wow! Babe Duck's baseball bat!
Let him in, Uncle Scrooge!

- No, no, Huey, don't!
- Don't do that!

Bright lad. You knew a bargain.
Yes, sirree.

See? I told you, you should have bought
your salesman repellent system from me.

- Mine's guaranteed.
- Guaranteed?

But far be it from me to force you
to buy anything you don't want.

Still, it would be a shame
to let all these

fabulous money-saving
bargains go to waste.

B-B-B-bargains?

With the herd of Indian elephants,
gold-plated ski equipment,

and the glow-in-the-dark tie,
your bill comes to a grand total of...

$444,444.04.

However, for an extra $4, I'll throw in
a pair of glow-in-the-dark socks.

- No.
- They match your tie.

- No!
- They really pick up he color of your eyes.

No!

You'll be able to find lost coins in the dark
without a flashlight.

Oh...

Fabulous!

I'll bill you at the end
of the month as usual.

Why did we buy all this junk, Duckworth?

I haven't the foggiest, sir.

These books aren't junk, Uncle Scrooge!

The complete works of William
Drakespeare, the greatest writer ever!

True. They were a bargain.

Original editions once owned by
Drakespeare himself.

Ah, Romeo and Julieweb,
Drakespeare's most famous play.

Eh? What is that?

It's an old note, Uncle Scrooge.

"Dearest Mum, my first play
is at last finished.

"But 'tis such a dismal effort,

"I'm hiding the only copy
here in the castle

"in a secret place known only
to the two of us.

"If you wish to read it,
Mother, just shake my hand.

Your loving son, Willy D."

Willy D.?

William Drakespeare?

Aye. And if there is a lost play
by William Drakespeare, I want it!

- Hurry, Duckworth, hurry!
- The pedal is to the metal, sir.

But, Uncle Scrooge, Drakespeare said
that lost play wasn't very good.

Who cares?

It's still worth millions
just because he wrote it!

Fabulous. I'll bill you at
the end of the month, as usual.

Hey, there's Filler Brushbill!

Hey, Filler, guess what!

Those books are...

Quiet, Louie!

I don't want anyone else to know
about that lost play,

especially Filler Brushbill.

Ah, "Dearest Mom..."

"Just shake my hand.
Your loving son, Willy D."

Willy D.?

William Drakespeare!

- Goodbye! Bye, Duckworth! Bye!
- We'll be back in a week.

What are your orders, sir?

Ah, Captain, set your course
for the island of Great Written.

Uh, Great Written?
You aren't serious, are you, Mr. McDuck?

If I were joking, you'd be laughing,
wouldn't you?

Well, it's just that, well,
Great Written is... haunted, sir.

Haunted?

Ghosts and witches and all sorts
of horrible things have been seen there!

I've never heard such poppycock!

Take us t Great Written, Captain,

or I'll make the cook the new captain
and the captain the new cook.

As you wish, sir.

Pull, boys, pull!
We'll never get past the breakwater!

Can you see anything, Louie?

- Does fog count?
- No!

But those rocks do. Hang on!

Stay together, boys!

Uncle Scrooge!

Louie! Louie!

Ahh...

Filler Brushbill!

What are you doing here?

Well, I couldn't let
my best customer drown, now, could I?

The truth, Brushbill!

- Where's Louie?
- Didn't see him.

We'd better split up and search the shore
in both directions.

The customer is always right.

Huey, you go with Mr. Brushbill.
Dewey, come with me.

If anything's happened to the lad,
I'll never forgive myself.

Louie!

Louie!

Bubble, bubble, you're in trouble!
Leave this island on the double!

Bubble, bubble, you're in trouble!
Leave this island on the double!

Oh, come warm yourself
at our cooking fire.

As soon as you're nice and toasty,
we'll throw you back in the sea!

For none shall land upon this shore...

...to sneak or peak or to explore.

Be ye tourist or traveler
or sailor lost...

...into the sea thee must be tossed!

Hello, ladies!

Ladies?

I have some fabulous deals for you.
Fabulous!

What could an outsider such as you
have to offer three witches?

Fabulous bargains on... brooms.
New ones with the latest nylon bristles

and used ones with low,
low mileage on them.

I have cauldrons in small, medium, large,
and a new monster size.

For when you're having friends over
for those really big spells.

I have wooden spoons, wart remover,
black boots,

and of course, what witch
could sleep at night

without a big black cat
yelling in her ear?

Oh, isn't it darling?

Thank you, ladies!

Thank you, Mr. Brushbill!

I'll bill you at the end of the month.

What a salesman!

Louie!

Louie! Where are you?

Friends and countrymen,
lend me your ears.

And while you're at it, lend me a hand.

And we shall cast
these outsiders back to the sea!

Into the sea?

Yes. For none shall land upon this shore
to sneak or peak or to explore,

be ye tourist or traveler
or sailor lost...

Now just a blasted moment...

- ...into the sea ye must be tossed!
- Uncle Scrooge!

I don't know how to repay you
for saving our lives, Brushbill.

Ah, I'll just put it on your bill.

Or you could give me a share of the profits
from Drakespeare's lost play.

Drakespeare's note!
Give me that, you crook!

I am not a crook, Mr. McDuck.

My reputation for square deals
is as spotless as yours.

Uh, that's true.
Very well. How much?

- 50 percent.
- 50 percent? Uh...

Well, as the note says, that lost play
isn't a very good play.

Who cares?

It's worth millions just because
Drakespeare wrote it!

That's just what Uncle Scrooge said.
Oops.

Well, for saving the boys, I'd say


Fabulous! We'll start for Drakespeare's
castle first thing in the morning.

Welcome, outsiders.

I am Pluck, and this...

...is A Midsummer Duck's Dream.

Of course!
All the ghosts and witches we've seen

are characters from Drakespeare's plays!

Look, all we want to know
is the way to Drakespeare's castle.

As you like it!

Follow the gloomiest, doomiest lane,

until Dumbird Woods
comes to Ducksinane.

Surely there must be
another path we could...

Where'd he go?

I don't know, but good riddance.

Well, we might as well
get started.

Lead on, McDuck.

What fools ye mortals be.

Look, Uncle Scrooge!

That's got to be Dumbird Woods.

And it's coming right at us!

Ooh...

They're over here, too!

Ooh...

Trees that move and talk!

The woods are crawling with them!

None may land upon this shore
to sneak or peak or to explore.

Be ye tourist or traveler or sailor lost,

into the sea thee must be tossed!

Ah, excuse me.

Yeah, would anyone be interested
in a fabulous deal on...

...a chainsaw?

Well, those trees didn't think your deal
was so fabulous, Brushbill.

But you can put
McDuck Lumber Company down

for two dozen of those wee buzz saws.

At my standard discount, of course.

Drakespeare's castle is deserted.

Let's split up.

The searching will go more quickly.

Just a moment, Brushbill.
If you find that lost play,

how do I know you won't
just run off with it?

Why, Mr. McDuck, you are
forgetting my reputation for honesty.

I know, I know, but one of the boys
will go with you to...

...help you carry your valise.

I'll do it, Uncle Scrooge!

Fabulous, Louie.

I just might be a door-to-door salesman
myself someday.

Why, it's a great theater!

This must be where Drakespeare
put on all his plays!

Aye, but the strange thing is it's clean.

No dust. No cobwebs,
like the rest of the castle.

It's as if this theater was still in use.

Look, Uncle Scrooge!

Why, it's a statue of William Drakespeare.

The bird himself.

Gee, it looks like he wants
to shake hands with us.

Hm. Remember what Drakespeare's note
to his mother said?

"If you wish to read it, just shake my hand."

To buy, or not to buy.
That is the question.

Stop fooling around!

I think I figured out the mystery.

All we need to do
is shake Drakespeare's hand.

But to do it,
we'll have to find a way

to hang from the ceiling.

If I didn't see it, I wouldn't believe it.

Well, well, Mr. Drakespeare.

Fabulous to meet you. Fabulous!

Ahh!

A secret door! Uh, uh, floor.

It's Drakespeare's lost play!

You found it, true, but we found you.

If that is a lost play
by the great Drakespeare,

it belongs to us!

Finders, keepers!

Who are you weirdos, anyway?

We are actors!

Descendants of Drakespeare's
original acting troupe.

Drakespeare's last request was
that none shall land upon...

I know, I know,
but this changes everything.

We'll all share in the profits.

It'll put Great Written Island
back on the map.

Profits are welcome, true,
but the play's the thing.

Uh, pray tell, good sir,
what is this lost work entitled?

It's called...
Uh...

MacDuck!

I think it was a grand idea to have them
perform MacDuck.

It might be about my early ancestors
in Scotland.

What a feather in the family cap
that would be.

Wonder what happened to Filler.

Hush! They're about to start.

This is the tale of Old MacDuck,

who cheated and lied and ran amok.

Wh... wh... what?

Alas, MacDuck, I knew him well.

If he had a heart, I couldn't tell.

Out, out, dumb Scot.

There's something rotten,
and you're the rot!

What do I care what people say?

Lying and cheating makes my day.

- It's a comedy!
- It's a tragedy!

And that's the tale of Old MacDuck,

who cheated and lied and ran amuck.

Good sir, I fear this play would do
great harm to Drakespeare's reputation.

His reputation?
What about my reputation?

My name just happens to be McDuck.

Here, here, put it back
in that secret panel.

I assure you, sir,
none shall find it again.

I certainly hope not.

- It's Filler Brushbill!
- Brushbill, what are you doing?

This play is worth millions!
I can't pass up a deal like that.

After him, boys!

We'll go this way!

Filler!
Come back! Come back!

There he is! Over there!

- He's going to jump!
- Filler, don't do it!

It's too dangerous!

- Stand back!
- No! You'll never make it!

It's worth the risk to sell this play!

It'll be my biggest sale ever!

But if you sell a terrible play,
people will say you cheated them!

If people don't trust you,
you'll never sell anything again!

Ah, you're right, Louie.

Quick profit can tempt
even an honest man.

I know exactly how you feel, Brushbill.
Here you go, lad.

Think of it. Drakespeare's plays
- all except MacDuck, of course -

performed on his own island by
descendants of his original acting troupe.

I'll arrange everything -
advertising, transportation.

We'll make a fortune!

- What do you say?
- 'Tis a deal, good sir.

And I know just the man
to sell the tickets.

You know, that was some sales job
you gave me, kid.

Gee, do you think
I have what it takes

to be a super salesman?

If you don't, I can sell it to you.

All the world's a stage,
and the people merely players.