01x64 - Ducky Horror Picture Show

[bunniefuu]

- Life is like a hurricane

- Here in Duckburg

- Race cars, lasers, airplanes

- it's a duck-blur

- Might solve a mystery

- Or rewrite history

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Every day they're out there making

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Tales of derring-do
Bad and good luck tales

- D-d-d-danger

- Watch behind you

- There's a stranger out to find you

- What to do?
Just grab on to some

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Every day they're out there making

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh

- Tales of derring-do
Bad and good luck tales

- Ooh-woo-ooh
Not pony tales or cotton tales, no

- DuckTales
Ooh-woo-ooh -

It's... It's terrible!

It's... It's horrible!

Good thing it's... it's only a movie.

- What's the matter?
- I'm out of popcorn.

Quackaroonie! Uncle Scrooge's Monster
Movie Marathon sure is packing 'em in.

The Scroogerama Dome
always does good business.

Because it only shows quality films.

Do you really think
there are monsters in the world?

Well, if I ever run into one,
I'll let you know.

Don't run, boys, it's only my friend
Arnold Schwarzenfeather.

He's here to drum up publicity
for my Monster Movie Marathon.

He's an actor
in low-budget horror films.

But what I really want to do
is direct low-budget horror films.

Everybody said my
Scroogerama Dome wouldn't make a dime.

And it certainly has been fun
proving everybody wrong.

Uncle Scrooge,
do you believe in monsters?

Well, in my adventures I've seen
all manner of beasts and creatures.

And I've had business partners
that stood my feathers on end.

But monsters like Quackenstein,
Drakeula, and the Wolf Duck

are only movie make-believe.

Aw, too bad.

Duckworth, what do you think
of my latest investment?

The words "colossal blunder"
immediately come to mind, sir.

Where you see a worthless old wreck,
I see a million-dollar money maker.

Oh, good for you, sir.

We'll have to put a wee bit of cash
into fixing up the wreck.

I meant, the place.

But, Duckworth, this
colossal blunder you're looking at,

is going to be the new
Duckburg Convention Center.

Luckily, the next butler's convention
is going to be in Dogburg.

Sorry, Mr. McDuck, but the pier's
tilings must be replaced.

We'll need more money.

All the wiring must be replaced.

We'll need more money.

- More money!
- Ah!

More money!

"More money" used to be
two of my favorite words.

I've never lost money on a project.

And I'll make a profit on this one,
even if it costs every dime I have.

Your new convention center will be
perfect for my club's annual meeting.

I'll be so happy to have your money...
I mean, to have you, Mr. Wolf.

There will be about 50 of us. Do you
suppose you might provide us with...

...rooms?

Rooms?

Oh, anything you say.

Duckworth, Mrs. Beakley, boys?

My, you're happy to see us, sir.

Aye. You're going to
help me make money.

- How touching, sir.
- What's up, Uncle Scrooge?

I'm turning my Duck Mansion
into a hotel.

Long enough to give


a place to spend their money.

Operator, please connect me
with Swannsylvania 6000.

This is Monster's Unanimous,
Count Drakeula speaking.

Drakeula, how are you?

Oh, feeling kind of blah.

Well, I've got news
that will cure the blahs.

Monster's Unanimous will be howling

at the Duckburg
Convention Center this year.

Blah!

Stop fooling around, Count Drakeula,
we have serious work to do.

You write the invitations, and I'll
get started on the water balloons.

Ah, Duckburg.

Now that's a town
I could really sink my teeth into.

Hurry up in there!

Sorry, but I still have to call Mummy.

Good, then you can tell your mommy
goodbye, you wimpy little nerd.

You better not call me names.

Ooh! What are you gonna do about it?

- What's a wolf doing around here?
- Maybe it's a werewolf.

It's probably just another one of Uncle
Scrooge's monster movie promotions.

But, to be on the safe side,
we better go ask him.

Colossal blunder, eh?

Would you like salt and pepper
when you eat your words, Duckworth?

- Uncle Scrooge!
- Uncle Scrooge!

There's a wolf out there.

Were... wolf?

- That was my guess.
- What's going on, lads?

Did you hire another actor to run around
howling like a werewolf?

Or is there a real werewolf
howling out there?

I didn't hear any howling.

Now, now, lads.
Remember what I told you.

There's no such thing as werewolves,

or Quackensteins, or vampires.

Quackenstein, The Thing, and
The Creature from The Blue Lagoon.

I will never forget
The Creature's last pool party.

The food was a little soggy,
but we had a very nice wet bar.

The Mummy, The Daddy,
The k*ller Pumpkin.

- Didn't somebody turn him into a pie?
- Oh, that's right.

Bigfoot.

I hope she doesn't ask me
to dance this year.

And what monster convention
would be complete without The Blob?

Oh, Quacky Smacky,
I can't wait to go shopping in Duckburg.

It will give us a chance to break in
our new Monster Charge credit card.

More orange juice, dear?

All right, dear. Have a nice jog.

Oh, I'm the luckiest ghoul in the world.

Any particular reason your club wants
to meet under a full moon, Mr. Wolf?

Well, for some of us,
this is the only time

we can really let our hair down.

Please don't be alarmed, Mr. McDuck,
if our group seems a little different.

Oh, bah. Who cares if you're different?

As long as you carry
a major credit card.

- How different?
- Well...

Aah!

- Hey, Wolfie!
- Hey. The Blob is here.

Hey, now we have a convertible.

Now, now, friends.

I know our annual convention
is always a great chance to unwind.

Except, of course, for The Mummy.

He's too wrapped up in his work.

Fellow monsters, this year we are
going to do more than just have fun.

It's time we made some progress
in our struggle for monster rights.

But first...

...let's party!

Last one into the convention center
is a blob!

My convention center!
I must stop those monsters.

I gotta hand it to you, McDuck,
when it comes to making money,

you'll try any crazy scheme.

Thank you, chief, but we have to stop
those monsters before they...

Give me a break, McDuck.
That was just another publicity stunt.

Oh, no! I've lost a fortune.
Oh, no.

Well, I'm going home, McDuck.

I was up all night
answering werewolf calls.

No, honestly, these are real monsters.

They arrived in that big pink bus.

Sure they did. And I flew in
on a little purple pogo stick.

Now stop causing public disturbances,
McDuck, or else...

Was I seeing things?

Indeed you were, sir.
I saw the very same things you did.

After they destroyed your colossal...
convention center,

they piled into that big pink bus,
and, as the boys say...

...b*rned rubber, sir.

Wonder where they went.

They said something about
checking into their hotel, sir.

Ah! My mansion!

This is really living.

Hey, why didn't Uncle Scrooge tell us?

Our guests are actors
for his monster movie promotion.

It'll be almost as much fun
as the real thing.

The real Thing? Right over here.

Now, remember Uncle Scrooge's
three rules of hotel management...

The customer is always right.

Courtesy is good business.

And the bigger the baggage,
the bigger the tip.

Fortunately, your room has a waterbed.

Guess we won't run out of bandages
with you around.

And with all these monsters around,
we're going to need a lot of bandages.

I'll give you two
the honeymoon suite.

And, if it's not big enough,
just knock down a few walls.

Oh, he will.

I wish I'd known Quackenstein
was going to bring his wife.

So? You don't have a wife to bring.

No, but I could've dug up a date.

Allow me, sir.

Huey, Dewey, yucky.

I've been slimed by The Blob.

There's a first time
for everything, sir.

Huh? What's that?

Whoa!

I want to duck your flood.

Oh, Mr. Drakeula,
we got the apples you asked for.

Thanks a lot.

You're a real vampire!

Of course, but don't worry,
I only bite apples.

They keep my teeth shiny.

An apple a day keeps the dentist away.

Hey, McDuck,
you want to blob for apples?

Yuck!

Oh, come on, McDuck,
party games are fun.

You should be blindfolded to play
pin the tail on the donkey.

True, but not to play
pin the tail on the invisible man.

Well, here's that bone and kibble
you ordered, Mr. Wolf.

Is it part of some low-taste diet?

Mrs. Beakley, this is no ordinary
party animal, he's a real werewolf.

Do you realize how much
your visit has cost me?

In the words of a well-known song:

Pack up your monsters
in your big pink bus

and file, file, file on out of here.

Admit it, Mr. McDuck,

you're making us leave
just because we're monsters.

Aye. Horrifying, dangerous,
incredibly destructive monsters.

Very well, we want our money back.

Money? Back?

Well, let's not be hasty.

- Uncle Scrooge!
- Boys.

Thank goodness you're all right.

I hope those monsters
didn't scare you too badly.

Aw, they aren't so scary
once you get to know them.

And they're big tippers.

We'll split our tips with you,
Uncle Scrooge, if you let them stay.

I'm touched, boys.

But the truth is,
I can't afford to kick the monsters out.

If I give them their money back, I'll...

I'll suffer the first business
failure of my entire life.

Poor Uncle Scrooge.

I can still break even,

as long as the monsters don't cause
any more major destruction.

He's coming, he's coming.
I knew he would.

He's the life of the...

I knew it wasn't me.

Uh-oh.

It's Ping Kong!

We better bring more guest towels,
Mrs. Beakley.

He's not staying here.

Don't be ridiculous.

He'll merely hang out on top of
the tallest building in the city.

Oh.
My money bin!

OK, try to remain calm.

It's... It's terrible!

It's... It's horrible!

- It's, it's...
- It's only a publicity stunt.

Now break it up, everybody. Go home.

Call the Army.
Bring the Air Force.

You've got to do something.

Nice try, McDuck, but you can't
make a monkey out of me.

I told you, no more publicity stunts.

But... But, Chief!

You had traffic tied up for miles.

I'll give you 24 hours to remove that
balloon or robot or whatever it is.

If you don't, you'll be running your
monster movie promotion from jail.

Now move along, people, move along.

If you want to see a real gorilla,
go to the zoo.

Very well, sir, I'll inform Mr. McDuck.

Almost immediately.

Good news?

Your lawyer, sir. He says your insurance
policies don't cover monster damage.

Ooh...

It's finally happened, Duckworth.

I've had my first colossal blund...
business failure.

Oh, and there seems to be some sort
of riot at the Scroogerama Dome.

Riot?

Down with monster movies,
up with monster rights.

Down with monster movies,
up with monster rights.

You know, Quackimodo,
Mr. Wolf was absolutely correct.

Conventions are fun,
but it feels good to have a purpose:

To work together to improve life
for all monsterkind.

- Besides, we ran out of water balloons.
- True.

Mr. McDuck, can you believe it?
We finally found our cause.

The owner of this theater
is giving monsters a bad name.

- Monster movies turn people against us.
- Uh-huh.

- Make children afraid of us.
- Uh-huh.

And we don't get a dime out of it.

But I own this theater.

I'm sure some
financial arrangements can be made.

You own this theater?

Nothing makes me a mad dog quicker
than the misuse of monsters.

Mr. McDuck,
we're going to close your theater down!

Ahh!

- Aah... Huh?
- Mr. Werewolf?

- May I have your autograph?
- Autograph?

You're my most favorite monster of all.

Isn't it wonderful?
The kids, they love us.

They aren't afraid to be scared at all.

Say cheese.
Make that Muenster cheese.

Muenster cheese.

Thanks, Mr. Werewolf!

I had no idea. She really likes me.

Aye. Kids love monsters.

Everybody loves monsters.
You're very popular, in demand.

Mr. Wolf, I have a wee idea

that should make both of us
want to howl at the moon.

- I appreciate your cooperation, Chief.
- My pleasure, Mr. McDuck.

Nothing wrong with a little chaos,
as long as it's organized.

Hey, hey, stay in line there.
No cuts, no cuts.

Programs, get your programs.

Can't tell The Thing from The Blob
without a program.

Mr. McDuck,
you know I don't mind helping out,

but three performances a day
is a bit much.

Chins up, Mrs. Beakley,
the week's almost over.

Thank goodness. Ooh, I'm on.

Oh, help, help.

Will no one save beauty from the beast?

Not me, how about you?

Another sellout, Mr. McDuck.

With our share of the profits, we can
afford to hold next year's convention

anywhere in the world.

I'm voting for Tokyo.

I'm voting for Great Neck, New York.

You're on, fellas.

Well, Duckworth,
my monster show's a howling success.

I've already made enough profit
to rebuild my convention center

- and repair the mansion.
- Aah!

My colossal blunder
is a colossal wonder.

My heartiest congratulations, sir.

And if I might say,
you are indeed a pip, sir.

Thank you, Duckworth.

You know, the most important thing
I've learned from all this

is that monster movies are all right,

but nothing packs them in
like a live performance.

- Let us terrify you

- Let us make you scream

- Let us make you shiver in your shoes

- We know how to scare away the blues

- Let us petrify you

- You cannot run away

- Welcome to our monster show

- We are the monsters on parade -