03x04 - The Good Muddahs

[bunniefuu]

"Life is like a
hurricane"

"Here in duckburg"

"Race cars, lasers,
aeroplanes"

"It's a duck blur"

"Might solve a mystery"

"Or rewrite history"

"Duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Every day they're out
there making duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Tales of derring-do"

"Bad and good
luck tales"

"D-d-d-danger"

"Watch behind you"

"There's a stranger
out to find you"

"What to do? Just grab
onto some duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Every day they're out
there making duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Tales of derring-do"

"Bad and good
luck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

"Not ponytails"

"Or cottontails"

"No, duck tales"

"Ooh ooh ooh"

Yahooo!

Ride 'em, pardner!

Yeehaaa!

Bubba's a bronco buster.

Earthquake! Take cover!

Boys, how many times
have I told you

Not to play with that
dinosaur in the house?

You're driving me crazy.

Sorry, mrs. Beakley.

Why don't you play
quietly with webbigail?

Yeah. You want to
play hopscotch?

Uh, no way.

That's girl stuff.

Can't you play with
her, mrs. Beakley?

Ooh. Will you play
with me, grammy?

Sorry, dear. I'm
much too busy.

Go ask your
uncle scrooge.

Uncle scrooge, will
you read me a story?

I have no time
now, webbigail.

I have an important
business appointment.

Why don't you go play
with my nephews.

To the sowbuggian
embassy, duckworth.

Gee whiz, nobody
wants me around.

Hello, warden. Scrooge
mcduck calling.

are you sure all the
beagle boys are locked up?

Yes, sir, mr. Mcduck. Under
heavy surveillance.

Good. I can't have
anything go wrong

While I'm exhibiting the
sowbuggian crown jewels.

Keep an eye on those
cold-nosed hoods.

Don't worry, mr. Mcduck.

If anyone steals
your jewels,

It won't be the beagle boys.

Is that supposed to
make me feel better?

What a dump!

Women's prison was
better than this hole.

Baby doll's right.

We beagle babes have gotta
move up in this world.

No more petty crimes.

There's no money in
robbing avon ladies.

I'm tired of stealing pink
cars from mary kay.

Time to think big
like our cousins.

The beagle boys!

And I think I see
how, sisters.

Opportunity just
knocked on our door.

Scrooge mcduck is the
exclusive exhibitor

Of the sowbuggian
crown jewels.

This week only at
the duckburg museum.

Crown jewels... Oh,
let's steal 'em.

Diamonds are a beagle
babe's best friend.

We ain't gonna keep
'em, boom-boom.

We're gonna cash 'em in

So we can blow this
bombed-out boudoir.

Now, here's the plan...

I haven't had such a
successful exhibit

Since the treasures of
king rootin' tootin'.

This is gonna be tougher
than we thought, girls.

The place is
crawling with fuzz.

They've even got
metal detectors.

Huh, we need a plan.

Let's use our heads.

On second thoughts, let's
just use bouffants.

[ Buzz ]

Open your
purse, lady.

What's this?

Hair spray.

Is it a crime to
be beautiful?

Ok. Unpack the
rods, sisters.

Ready, girls?

Fasten your seat belts.

It's going to be
a bumpy heist.

This is a stickup,
darlings.

Who do you think you are,
busting in here like this?

We're the beagle
babes, that's who.

And we've got big plans
for them jewels,

So outta the
way, old timer.

Never.

Maybe this will change
your mind. [ Click ]

Where are the b*ll*ts?

You were very
specific...

You said to
bring g*ns.

You didn't say nothing
about b*ll*ts.

After 'em!

Come on, girls.

Let's make like boom-boom's
dress and split.

I ain't going home
empty handed.

Time for plan b.

I thought we didn't
have another plan.

We do now.

Aaaah!

Webbigail!

Let me go!

Quick! Into the ladies room.

Now what?

It's for women only.

Come back here with
my granddaughter,

You heisting hussies!

Aah! They've escaped!

Uncle scrooge! A telegram!

Oh, no! It's from
western ransom.

"We've got the girl.

"If you ever want to see her
cute little mug again

"Give us the crown jewels.

Thugs and kisses,
the beagle babes"

You've got to give
them the jewels!

But they're not
mine to give.

They're on loan
from sowbuggia.

It would cause an
international uproar

If anything happened
to them.

We've got to do
something!

Stay calm. I'm sure the police
will be here any minute.

[ Knock-knock ]

It's about time
you got here!

I called hours ago.

We would've been
here sooner,

But we just entered police
academy this morning.

This case is too
important for rookies.

Go back and send me
some real policemen.

Sorry, but with the
beagle boys all locked up

The entire police department
took their vacation.

It's us or nothing.

So what's the problem?

There's been a
kidnapping.

You've got to find
my granddaughter.

Righto. Roger
wilco and 10-4.

Where're you going?

Well, you said the
kid was napping.

We're gonna check her room.

Out! Out!

And don't come back till
you've found my wee webbigail.

I felt better before
the police arrived.

Oh, I do hope
webbie's all right.

Waaa! Waaa!

This brat's been bawling
for 12 hours!

Will someone
shut her up?!

I offered her a
romance novel,

Lip gloss, nylons, even
my cashmere sweater.

Nothing makes
the kid happy.

You couldn't keep me
here like this

If I wasn't a
little girl.

But you are, webbigail.

You are a little girl.

Waaaaa!

That's it! Put the
cry baby to bed.

I can't go to sleep
without a bedtime story.

I want to hear cinderella.

You do it, boom-boom.

I only tell tall
tales to a jury.

All right, I'll do it.

There was this
girl, cinderella.

She had two mean
stepsisters.

She couldn't stand them

So she bumped 'em off and
married the prince.

The end. Now go to sleep.

Uh-uuh. That's
not how it goes.

Let me try.

There were these two
beautiful stepsisters, see?

And they kept this bawling
brat, named cinderella,

Upstairs tied to a chair.

And made her eat rats
from the cellar.

Uh-uuh, that's not
right either.

Listen... One day the
three bears came home

And said, "somebody's been
wearing my slippers."

So they tried to see
who the slippers fit

And it was cinderella.

And the prince
kissed her foot

And it woke up and they
lived happily after.

Wait... Why am I
going home?

Nobody there wants me.

[ Rooster crows ]

Aah, we fell asleep.

Where's the kid?

For a minute I thought
she'd escaped.

Well, I wanted to,

But nobody at home wants me.

Really? Not even
your uncle scrooge?

Uh-uuh. He's too
busy making money,

And the boys don't want
to play with a girl.

Even my grammy
doesn't want me.

Gee. And they have the nerve to put
people like us in the slammer.

Don't worry, webbie.

We'll take good
care of you.

Until we get the ransom.

If we get the ransom.

Hows about I go to
the coffee shop

And heist us some
hotcakes for breakfast?

I love hotcakes.

Swipe some
juice, ok?

Can you steal some
sausage on the side?

I'm gonna have to make a
shoplifting list for all of this.

Ouch. Oh.

Sounds like trouble.

Oooh!

What in the world's
going on?

I thought the coppers
were raiding the joint.

Just 'cause
we're kidnappers

Doesn't mean we have to
act like criminals.

Yeah. I never thought
having a kid around

Could be so much fun.

Well, stop it.

We've got more important
things to do.

Like what?

Oh, I won.

Back off, honey!

No fair. She
cheated, webbie.

Heh heh, you ladies
are so silly.

Mr. Mcduck, you must
give up the crown jewels.

There's no choice.

You're right. I'll even
throw in my money bin

If it'll get our wee
lass back home.

[ Ring ]

Mcduck here.

Hey, scroogie, this
is the beagle babes.

About that ransom...

You can have the crown jewels...
Anything you want.

Just release darling webbie.

Forget the jewels. We
don't want 'em anymore.

You don't? What
do you want?

We already got
what we want...

we're keeping webbie.

Mrs. Beakley,
where're you going?

I'm sending out the
beagle babes buster.

Who's that?

Me. Beagle babes
busting beakley.

No felonious flunkies can
kidnap my granddaughter

Without a fight.

Ok, girls, here's the plan...

Baby doll, you and me are going
on a shoplifting spree for webbie

While boom-boom
distracts the owner.

Distract the owner? How?

Use your
lady-like charm.

Excuse me, I'm
looking for a toy.

Do you have any bonnie
and clyde dolls?

Bonnie and clyde?
They were K*llers!

What kind of role models
would they be for kids?

Oh, you're right.
How about toy g*ns?

Aisle 3. Big display.

Can't miss it.

How're we gonna
get out of here?

Santa doesn't haul
this many toys.

I just got the most
marvelous harebrained idea...

Oh, no. Not on this.

I said aisle 3.

Yeah. Right, uh-huh.

But I'm supposed to stay
here and distract you

While my sisters are
back there shoplifting.

Hey, why's that bicycle
sticking out of your hair?

Because it wouldn't fit
in my purse, darling.

Quick, girls.

Let's make like our
nylons and run.

Stop! Police!

[ Ring ]

Hello.

Great news! I'm
on my way.

Come on, boys. The police have
captured the beagle babes.

We picked this riffraff
up off the street.

Yeah, and that dame
on the end

Looks like a beagle
babe to me.

Care to press charges?

Aye. Against you two nitwits.

Poor webbie. These goofs
are never gonna find her.

Maybe we should try to
find her ourselves.

How?

Bubba nose.

Bubba knows what?

No. Bubba nose.

Oh, I get it. Bubba
will track her down.

Here. Sniff
the scent.

Now let's
find webbie.

'Cause no nose knows
like bubba's nose knows.

Look! Just what I've
always wanted...

A polly polite doll.

We couldn't find you
a quackypatch doll,

But, hey, this one's
got real class.

She don't belch or act
like a felon or nothing.

Uncle scrooge never
bought me this doll

'Cause he said it'd lower
his money bin an inch.

How could you
afford it?

No baby doll's too good to rip
off for our baby doll, huh?

Rip off? You mean
you stole these toys

From nice mr. Clinky?

But he always gives
me a lollipop

For being a
good girl.

And he gives toys to
the needy kids,

And if you stole from him

That means he has less
money to feed his family

And if they don't have
anything to eat...

All right, all right. What
do you want us to do?

[ Alarm rings ]

Oh, what's that?

Did we win a door
prize or something?

It's the burglar
alarm, you bozo.

Work fast.

Halt! You're
under a test.

That's arrest.

I think.

Arrest? For what?

Stocking the shelves?

Sorry, ladies.

It's that we're
kinda crazed

Looking for those hideous, evil,
ugly beagle babes, you know.

We'll keep an eye out
for them, officer.

And you ain't exactly
mr. Universe yourself.

Bloodhound bubba
strikes again.

How're we gonna get
webbie out of there?

We'll flush everybody out.

Police! Come out with your
hands up or we'll... We'll..

We'll huff and puff and
blow your hideout down.

Don't hurt me!

Webbie! You're ok.

What are you guys
doing here?

We came to
rescue you.

And look what we brought.

My quackypatch doll.

Come on, let's make
a run for it

Before the beagle
babes catch us.

Wait. I can't go.

Why not?

I don't wanna go
back with you.

You don't want
to come home?

Nobody there wants me.

Everybody's too busy.

They like me here.

Well, we like you too.

Bubba miss webbie.

You do?

Yeah, and so does uncle
scrooge and mrs. Beakley.

Really? I miss them too.

So let's scram.

Nope. I still can't go.

Why not?

Because the beagle babes
are nice ladies

And they'll miss
me if I leave.

I know. Let's make them
want to get rid on me

By playing make-believe.

Webbie, we're home.

Uuuh!

I thought you girls
would never come back.

Webbie, what
happened?

While youse was gone

I've been thinking about
our situation...

We're gonna need help
with this caper,

So I asked my boys
to lend a hand.

Thieves, I want you
to meet lefty louie.

Give me five, toots.

I meant five bucks.

Dewey diehard.

Mean little
squirt, ain't i?

Huey kablooy.

Hey, babe. Got a light?

And...

Bubba the clubber.

Ooooh!

Webbie, it's a crime the way
you've become a criminal.

What you talking about?

I learned everything
from you babes.

What have we done?!

You two evil stepsisters have been
a bad influence, that's what.

Come on, webbie, darling.

We're going back home

Where you belong.

Well, if that's what
you think's best.

Ok, bagel beabes... I
mean beagle babes...

This is the police.

Come out with your
hands up or we'll...

We'll huff and puff and blow
your hideout down, man.

The jig's up. Last
one to jail

Get's the bottom bunk.

We won't let 'em
lock you up.

Follow me.

Quick. Hide in here.

Who's going to drive?

We are.

Fasten your seat belts.

It's gonna be a
bumpy getaway.

Hey! That's my line.

Let out the clutch.

What's a clutch?

They're gettin' away.

Gee, I never knew driving
a car was so easy.

Ooh. Ouch. Oh-oooh.

Oh, I'll never sing this
coal black heart again.

Uh-oh, the mansion!

Hit the brakes, huey!

Which is the brakes?

This one!

Duck and cover!

Whoops! Wrong one.

Are you kids ok?

Yeah, better than
the staircase.

It's so good to have
you back, webbigail.

Oh, we were so
worried, dear.

There's no place like home.

Be it ever so
crumbled.

Oh, remind me never to
put a stiff in the trunk.

It's just too cruel.

[ Siren ]

Aaaah!

Officers, arrest
these women!

No! These women!

Oh, yeah, right. For
sure. Totally.

Wait, uncle scrooge.

Don't make 'em go to
an icky old jail.

They're not really bad.

What do you want
me to do?

Couldn't you give them
a job or something?

Well, why not?

You can work in the
mcduck day-care center.

You'll babysit from 9 to


Minimum wage. You
can start tomorrow.

Cuff us, officers.

We prefer the slammer.

Bye-bye, darling.

Can I steal a kiss?

Surely that's legal.

Hey, webbie, you wanna ride
tootsie in the living room?

Yeah.

Wait, children.

Not in the house!

It's so good to have
everything back to normal.