Slow (2023)

[bunniefuu]

Can you say you love me?

Come on.

I don't even know you.

Just imagine it.

I don't want to.

I can't get it up if you don't.

Say it.

I love you.

SLOW

Memories of you

Live on in the bright day,

And the dark night

Memories of you

Live on in the hills

And the serenity of woods

Still nameless at this early hour

Vast spaces under the blue skies

Look as beautiful as you

Listen, my dear

I've planted a seed

Of your name

It has a lovely bloom

At sunrise, at sunset

Listen, my dear

I've come to know

The loud rustle of leaves

In the birches by my home

When wind plays in their treetops

Listen, my dear,

at the backdrop of the sky

Your name blossoms

and warms me like a flame

Hello.

I'm the interpreter,

about the lesson.

Oh, hi!

Can you take them off?

No shoes allowed.

Oh. Right.

Sorry. Didn't know.

- Dovydas.

- Elena.

- Nice to meet you.

- Likewise.

Tell them they can put

their stuff here.

Let's form a circle, everybody.

Hi, my name is Elena.

I'm a contemporary dancer.

I hope these classes will give us

a better sense of our bodies

as well as better self-esteem.

As you probably know, we'll meet

a couple of times before the camp.

Then we'll go to the sea

where all the teams are going to show

what they've prepared.

So in case you're not thrilled

with what we do here,

you can bear in mind that

at least you'll get to go to the sea.

She says she enjoyed it.

Oh good, 'cause I was so nervous.

Really? You did a good job.

Did I?

Need help with anything?

Not really.

I've been thinking.

Let's just go somewhere.

Like, now?

Yeah.

Where?

How did you get into it?

- Into what?

- Well...

I wasn't very good at school.

You ever interpreted

for the Eurovision Song Contest?

- No.

- Why not?

I don't know.

How did you get into it?

What?

You mean, dancing?

Oh, I also wasn't very good at school.

You know what they say.

Not everyone can be a doctor.

Who says that?

I'm sure somebody does.

Wouldn't it sound better,

-"Not everyone can be a mathematician?"

- No.

Math is easy.

I smell of sweat, don't I?

No...

How did you feel after last time?

Good.

The knee pain was gone.

I was able to relax.

What?

Why so chirpy?

Nothing, just a good mood.

You such a torturer!

These are some old photos.

- He's tall, isn't he?

- Oh yeah.

- How old is he?

- Is he single?

Stop with the questions!

I don't know.

You showed it first.

Whatever, it's not going to work anyway.

'Cause you'll get bored with him

in a month?

A month? You think

Elena can make it that long?

So funny!

It is funny.

I mean, I just had this...

weird feeling.

What feeling?

That I've known him for ages.

Cute!

Nothing cute about it.

Well, I miss this feeling badly.

- Not only you.

- Pops here too.

That's for 'pops'.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Let's start.

I think Tomas likes Gabija.

Really?

Sure, did you see him look at her?

You're so observant.

What's this?

A cross.

I usually say I had it done

because I was a goth in my teens.

You were?

No.

So, after graduation, my best friend

told me she was thinking

about monastery.

She did that Compostela pilgrimage.

Meanwhile, I partied the whole summer

and when I had a bad, bad hangover,

I had the tattoo done in her honor.

Did she appreciate it?

I don't know, never showed her.

Why not?

Don't know,

it felt kinda stupid afterwards.

Well, I like it.

I think I was just jealous

of her spirituality.

Jealous of spirituality

at the age of eighteen?

Nineteen. Yeah.

What?

Don't I look spiritual?

Whatever that means.

What about you? When was

the last time you were in church?

I'm not sure it's relevant but...

the day before yesterday.

Serious?

f*ck...

I was at one of those classes you need

to attend before you get married.

What did you learn there?

Oh, you know...

That a woman's made of

a man's rib bone and so on.

Didn't you know that?

I'm not very cultivated.

So when's the big day?

Some time in July...

You don't know the date

of your wedding?

Not mine!

I'm interpreting those classes.

You thought it was mine?

That's how it sounded.

I'm headed across the square.

And I'm going up.

You know what?

I made a ridiculous amount

of soup yesterday.

My brother's deaf.

I mean, that may be the reason

I do what I do.

You asked me the last time.

Sorry.

Didn't mean it to sound

like a random fact.

So you're answering the question

I asked you last week?

Yes.

I'm not very quick.

So the marriage classes

are for my brother.

- Can your parents hear?

- Yeah.

When he was a kid, they thought

he'd break through too.

"Break through"?

That's right.

They didn't want him

to learn sign language.

- Really?

- Yeah.

So I just started learning it with him.

Ended up an interpreter.

So essentially, you were just lazy

to study something else.

True.

I'm just a big lazy bum.

I've been preparing for the camp.

Usually the place is tidier.

You live here by yourself?

Yep.

- That's the friend.

- The nun?

Yeah, Viktorija.

Haven't seen her in ages.

You miss her?

So what does one wall

say to the other wall?

"I'll meet you in the corner."

Careful now.

What? I'm doing great.

You know what's weird?

You're unlike anyone I know.

Is it good or bad?

It's good.

It's not clear, though.

What isn't?

Absolutely nothing.

Shouldn't it be absolutely everything?

Perhaps.

I'm asexual.

What?!

Sorry.

A bit of a weird transition, wasn't it?

There was no transition.

No...

So what does it mean?

I'm not attracted to anybody, sexually.

Never was.

How come?

Don't know.

It's just the way it is.

Maybe you just don't like me?

No.

I do like you.

It's why I wanted to tell you.

I don't know what to say.

Could you ask her

to give a hard cough?

It's nice to see you.

Kinda missed you.

You don't believe me?

Do I look good?

Sure.

- What are you laughing at?

- I'm not, I'm not.

How about a beer?

Love to.

Can I have one?

Last one.

About what I've told you...

I know it's hard to understand.

But that's not to say

I don't want something at all.

You know?

Like what?

A relationship, for example.

That came out stupid.

It may be hard for me to understand when

people voluntarily want a relationship.

But it didn't sound stupid.

I thought I needed to figure it out.

To find something I'd be attracted to.

- So I kept searching...

- How?

I watched lots of bizarre stuff online.

- But you did try to...

- Sure.

It's not like I'm physically

incapable of something.

But it's gross to think about it?

Not gross. I just don't.

Or think differently

from most of the people, I guess.

I simply don't need it.

I googled it.

Did you?

Still hard to understand, though.

I bet.

Would it be strange

if I held your hand right now?

Kind of.

But you may.

OK. Thanks guys.

Elena, you're OK?

- So sorry!

- Let's go, one more time.

But don't worry about me, OK?

Just find a place for yourself

and try to stay in the moment.

Don't worry if I see you or not.

Did your mom ever say

you could go to McDonald's

when you were scared?

What?

For example, if I was scared

of something like a blood test,

mom would say,

"We'll go to McDonald's,"

to calm me down.

Mine used to say,

"If you cry, you'll disgrace yourself."

Ouch.

- I've got to go now.

- OK, I'll walk with you.

Will you invite me in?

Where?

To your mom's.

Sure, to meet her.

- Really?

- No!

Why not?

I don't think it's a good idea.

- I'll just pop in to get shoes.

- Fine, let's pop in.

No!

Had I known you were bringing a friend,

I would've cooked something.

We won't be long.

Is that you?

Yep.

How old are you there?

- About six.

- Yes, something like that.

She came to me around that time

and said, "Mom,

"I want to learn ballet."

- And you did?

- Oh please, look at her.

I laughed so hard and said,

"Why don't you choose

something else, dear."

But... why?

Because ballerinas don't look like that,

Dovydas.

That's what I said.

And what did you do?

Took up basketball.

Was pretty good, too.

- Did you enjoy it?

- No.

She then came to me

before the school exams.

"Mom, I want to study dance."

I said, "But you've never danced before."

And she said,

"I've been dancing since I was ten.

I just didn't tell you."

You were in Luxembourg at the time.

So?

Nothing, just I didn't come to you,

like you said.

I emailed you. And you replied

a month later, when I was already in.

Would you like more tea?

No, we'll be going now.

We're going to McDonald's.

Awkward?

Do you like me?

Of course I do.

What makes you so sure?

I just know it.

How?

But...

I'm not going to change.

Fine, me neither.

Let's dance.

- Nobody else is.

- So what?

Oh my god!

Go on!

You... want to go somewhere?

Right now?

Where?

Your brother won't mind?

No.

OK.

You know what I did

when you joined the monastery?

That's so cool!

Why didn't you never show me?

I thought it was silly.

Well, I like it.

Me too.

- Dan?

- Yo!

- Can I have wine?

- Of course.

- Can you hold it?

- Yes, I can.

What's this?

I was a goth, you know.

A goth? Like, a real goth?

Yeah, with black hair, black clothes,

all that stuff.

Ooh, I can see that in you.

My goth side?

Yeah, it totally fits you.

Ladies first.

Nice room.

- Should I take it all?

- Yes.

You should take it all.

- No no no no!

- Yeah yeah yeah.

Let's go, they're waiting for drinks.

It's beautiful.

You love it?

Yeah. I like it.

My girlfriend gave it to me.

Nice.

What do you mean?

It was just for fun,

we were partying.

So...

- Was there anything else?

- No.

Why are you telling me this?

I don't know, I'm just...

used to being free.

And we've never actually discussed

how it is between us.

How do you want it?

I want it to be normal,

just you and me.

"Normal"?

Just us and no one else.

Sure?

OK?

OK.

With

A piece of chewing gum

You

Stuck

Your little heart

To mine

In a trembling voice

I asked it

What it thinks about it

It yearns to love

and be loved in return

It yearns to tear itself in two

Never mind the pain

After all there's nothing lovelier

in the world

I've seen it all in your eyes

What once was

and what will...

Is it OK?

Don't you want it?

I'm on my period.

You don't want it?

Isn't it gross?

No.

- Stop.

- What?

Just stop it.

- What's wrong?

- I can't relax.

Why?

- 'Cause I know you don't want it.

- I do.

Relax.

It's OK, Dovydas.

You sure?

It was good, though, wasn't it?

Elena?

What are you looking at?

Elena?

Elena?

What's up?

Oh dear...

The phone won't be working now.

What?

Why did you use the phone cord

to tie your hair, Elena?

That's such a lame joke.

I think it's funny.

Do you know how long

I've had this band?

Well, let's count how long

the landline phone hasn't rung.

Still not funny.

I find it hilarious.

I've had this hairband for three months.

Is that a lot?

Of course! That's, like,

half a century in human years!

- They just disappear.

- Where to?

No idea.

Maybe the same place socks go?

You're right!

So my goal is to keep it.

Oh well, then.

We've got to buy

a cellphone.

See?

It is funny.

You just needed time

to get it.

Me too.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four...

- Head straight.

- Oh right, hold on.

Let's take it from here.

- From the arm.

- Four... Four,

five, six, seven, eight...

- Something like that.

- Getting better, isn't it?

It's cool that we're this close

but never hit each other.

- Right?

- Yeah.

Let's try it with music.

- Or with counting, but make it faster.

- Yeah, 'cause when it's slow...

Wait, what's the actual tempo?

Who's that?

I don't know.

Shall I go?

- What do you want?

- I realised we should be together.

What the hell?

Who's this guy?

Dovydas.

Vilius.

I was at the pub

and there was this chick

picking up on people,

asking what love is.

A woman said, it's when you

wanna call somebody at 4AM.

And then I thought of you, you know?

Did you come here by bike?

Yeah, dude. I love her. Sorry.

No, you don't.

You'll be over it when you're sober.

Look, leave the bike here

and get a taxi home.

f*ck you!

Sorry, dude, but you're being annoying.

- So are you.

- Wanna fight, m*therf*cker?

I'll knock you out in one, I'm afraid.

What are you two talking about?

Do you realise I love you?

You're drunk!

You did come to see me.

Go home, OK?

What?

Have some water.

I'm leaving it here.

Go to bed.

Come on.

What if we break up

and I come to you

in the middle of the night?

Will you make a bed for me?

Stop.

I mean it.

Dovydas, stop it!

There will be an invitation for you

6:30, remember?

When did you go see him?

Hey, nothing happened then.

We just smoked a joint and I left.

When?

Some time in summer,

before the camp.

After I told you, was it?

Yes, after.

But not because of it.

Why then?

I don't know, we weren't together.

I did nothing wrong.

I'm not saying you did something wrong.

I don't know...

You rejected me and I wanted...

I didn't reject you.

It felt like you did.

What was it about last night?

Were you trying to prove something?

Don't know.

There you go.

- Thanks.

- Thank you, have a good night.

- Actually, I don't need them.

- What do you mean? Why?

- I don't know...

- Is something wrong?

No, it's fine.

- Does he want his money back?

- No no, don't.

You can sell them again.

Thanks.

- Welcome.

- What's wrong with the flowers?

This costume is definitely

not for my body type.

For god's sake...

You want a beer?

Sure.

Elena?

Are you going for a beer?

Get one for me.

Who is it?

Some guy I know. I'll write in

the morning to stop texting me.

Why? What does he want?

He texts "what's up?" at 1AM.

What do you think he wants?

Wait, so if you write "what's up?",

it means you want sex?

Not necessarily.

It depends on

who you write to and when.

Do you miss it?

What?

That lifestyle.

You mean, promiscuous?

Come on, I'm really curious.

Certain things.

Like what?

Well, maybe...

That look when

you know someone's truly into you.

And the energy...

It can be so powerful.

- Isn't it weird to talk about it?

- No.

I want you.

I can't apologize every time.

I know.

What happened to your moaning?

I'm OK.

Doesn't it hurt?

You can go harder.

Did you ever want to leave?

Why do you ask?

Just curious.

How can you always be

so sure about everything?

Not everything.

I remember when you told me.

At the graduation, was it?

We were by the river,

drinking wine.

I didn't believe you at first.

When did you believe it?

When you had your vows, I guess.

What about you?

I think I always knew it.

Even when you were with Donatas?

Even when we kissed.

My god, Viktorija!

Seriously, though.

Don't you miss guys?

The attention..?

Love..?

My mother kept asking this

for a long time.

Isn't it hard to have no family,

no children, no flat...

You know what's the worst part?

It's... getting up at 5:30 AM.

You do get used but still...

I actually

hardly ever think about it.

I never feel lonely.

Maybe that's why?

I'm not sure.

You can sleep with others,

if you want.

- What?

- But...

I just want to know.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm not talking.

I'm just saying.

You're drunk.

A little.

See, I don't think there's one

correct way of being together.

Neither do I.

There's all kinds of agreements,

aren't there?

Open relationship...

...and so on.

Damn it, who set the rules

for everyone to live by?

Dovydas...

I don't know.

You know, I...

I don't get why everything

always has to be like this.

Like what?

I mean, when everything's clear.

How everyone's supposed to act

identically in relationships.

- What's clear?

- Everything.

How to approach, how to speak,

what to say.

But this life doesn't suit everybody.

Of course not.

I mean, like,

if you slept with other guys,

would that make me less of a man?

- What's that got to do with it?

- Yes, exactly!

What does it mean to be a man?

Who invented this whole system?!

You feel sick?

Can you unhook it?

To keep your head from spinning.

Do you ever feel like...

Like what?

Like,

there's something wrong with you.

I do.

And you?

Were you jerking off?

Well, yeah.

Seriously?

Yeah.

I was.

Isn't it the opposite of asexuality?

I don't see it as a particularly

sexual act.

But that involves thinking about someone.

No.

You're not thinking at all?

I'm not sure. No.

What are you, a Buddhist?

Buddhists spend their lives

learning to stop thinking

and you're just natural at it.

Look, what are you talking about?

I mean, it looks like you've been lying

to me all this time.

Why?

Because it's an act

that requires sexuality.

- Not necessarily.

- Yes, necessarily.

No, it's about physiology, that's all.

What's the difference?

Because to do it,

I don't need sexuality

directed at somebody.

I don't know how to explain it.

You could f*cking try at least.

You think I'm not trying?

Do you realise how weird it is?

One day you're going on

about open relationship

and you're f*cking jerking off

the next day!

Why are you bringing this up?

'Cause I don't know why you want me

to sleep with others!

I never said that!

I said I don't think there's only

one way of being together!

I know that!

I just want it to be normal sometimes.

OK, I'm sorry I'm not normal enough

for you.

I didn't say you weren't normal enough.

I never even wanted any of this.

- Any of..?

- The relationship!

I would've just lived my life.

Fine, go live your life.

What are you getting upset for?

All I'm saying is how I feel.

- You could do the same, you know.

- What?

- Tell how you feel.

- How I feel?

Like I'm always disappointing you?

That I'm just... waiting for you

to leave me?

Me, to leave you?

What are talking about?

I love you.

I love you too.

What good is that?

I can't...

be the person you need.

What's up?

- Nothing, just wanted to see you.

- Just?

How's Dovydas?

Fine.

He's cool.

What are you doing here?

Since when have you got

a moral compass?

Bought it off you.

- I never had one.

- Not too late to get it.

You could've just texted

you couldn't meet.

I would've understood

you didn't want to.

I'm not saying I don't want it.

Your place, then?

- You don't want it?

- Come on.

Why not?

Do you even want it?

I do.

What's your problem?

What?

Chickened out because you got

a cool boyfriend?

- f*ck, stop saying he's cool.

- Why?

- You don't even know him.

- Isn't he cool?

Oh f*ck off.

I met with Vilius.

What are you doing?

I don't know why.

Wake you up?

Look, I just met him.

Nothing happened.

When you say nothing happened,

what exactly do you mean?

- Nothing happened.

- What does it mean?

You didn't sleep with him?

Didn't sleep, didn't kiss.

Nothing happened.

I thought we were beyond that stuff.

I don't get it.

What did I do wrong?

Nothing.

What are you doing?

Going for a walk.

Come on, this is your home.

I'll leave if you want.

You want me to leave?

I must've gotten scared.

I'm sorry, Dovydas.

Stop!

- What do you want me to do?

- Whatever.

It's all going to look f*cked

if you leave now.

What does it look like now? Great?

Let's just go home.

No more arguing, OK?

Come on.

No.

Where are you going to go?

All the way to the seaside,

if I need to.

Got your swim trunks?

You're f*cking kidding.

Is it bad?

What are you doing?

What are you f*cking doing?

You'd rather walk to Sweden

than talk to me?

- I told you.

- I don't give a f*ck!

I don't give a flying f*ck that you

don't want to talk, Dovydas!

If you don't want to be with

me anymore, then say so!

- Is this it?

- I don't know!

We'll break up and it'll be

like nothing ever happened.

There will be no point

in all of this...

There will be nothing.

I'm tired.

This is ridiculous.

Yeah.

f*ck, f*ck...

About what you said...

When you were yelling at me.

I wasn't.

I'm never going to

stop caring.

You sure?

You?

Same.

I didn't even know

I could feel like this.

I really...

Me too.

What?

Nothing.

I yearn to love

and be loved in return

I yearn to tear myself in two

Never mind the pain

After all there's nothing lovelier

in the world

I've seen it all in your eyes

What once was

and what will be

What once was

And what will be

What once was

And what will be