01x06 - TV or Not TV

[bunniefuu]

Jeez, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing we do
every night, pinky--

Try to take over the world.

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky and the brain

♪ One is
a genius ♪

♪ The other's
insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain

♪ Before each night is done

♪ Their plan will be unfurled

♪ By the dawning of the sun

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky and the brain

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove their mousey worth

♪ They'll overthrow the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain

♪ Brain,
brain ♪♪

Narf!

Who knows what badness lurks
in the thoughts of men?

The mist knows.

I have the power
to becloud men's minds,

For I am the mist!

Ha ha ha!

Uh! Narf!

I still can't
get a picture
on this thing, brain.

Quiet, pinky.

I have almost
completed honing

My rapier-keen
mental abilities.

Zounds, brain! Honing!

Whoa!

[Thud]

Is that good?

Yes...

For now I have the power.

For I am...the fog!

Nice fedora, brain,

But I see you as more
of a beret type.

Never mind
the fashion critique,
pinky.

Turn off that radio
and I shall demonstrate.

Narf!

Oh, I love it when
you demonstrate, brain.

By altering
the frequencies
of my voice,

I am able to befog
men's minds.

But how?

With some electronic
gizmo thingy?

No. With these.

In a moment,
you will no longer
be able to see me,

For I am the fog!

Ohh!
Neat vocal effect.

Uh!

I am commencing
to befog your mind.

Narf!

You cannot see--yah!

Egad, brain! It worked!

I can't see you!

Obviously, he has
no mind to befog.

Now, if I could
only conceive a method

Of how to use
this power

On millions of people
at once...

Poit.
Ha ha ha.

There you are, brain!

Egad, you're as good
as that guy on the radio.

Thr radio! Of course!

Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

I think so, brain,
but the rockettes?

I mean, it's mostly girls
isn't it?

Pinky,
aren't we rodents

Stigmatized enough
already?

You will sneak into
the radio station,

Taking the place
of the mist,

So I can broadcast
my genuine
mental powers

To millions
of listeners,

Befogging
their minds

Until they make me
their leader.

Yon radio transmitter
will soon broadcast

My befogging message
to every household
in the world,

And then my dream
will be realized.

Oh! You mean,
you'll finally dance

With
the ballet russe?

No, pinky.
The other dream--

World domination.

Oh, right!
That dream! Narf!

And now we return to
the mist,

Brought to you
by pennsylvania blue coal.

[Woman]
oh, who are you?

[Man]
I am...

The fog!

I am befogging
your mind.

Close this door.

Do you hear me?

Close this door!

Open this door.

Unh.

Open this door.

You'll never
get away with this,
crazed madman!

The mist will find me!

Well, if he does,

He'll find you
in these chains!

Ha ha ha!

No!

Aah!

And then I'll hide you
in this dark cellar...

Down this long,
long flight of stairs.

Narf! I never knew
radio was like this,
brain.

What did you think
it was like, pinky?

Oh, you know, like
a big, red squishy ball

With little nobbies
on it. Ha ha!

Who are those
ridiculous people

Who just stand there
and read?

Those are actors,
pinky.

Oh.

And who are those people

That no one's paying
any attention to, brain?

Those are the writers,
pinky.

And tonight,

They will find their script
greatly embellished.

Come.
We must get through

These
soundproof booths

So that
I can commandeer
that microphone.

[Thud]

Wh--

Sound effects man,
you cannot see me.

I am completely invisible.

I am befogging
your mind,

For I am the fog!

Narf! The mist!

No. The fog.

No, brain. Look.
It's the mist.

The jig is up,
crazed madman,

For I am the mist!

Mist, save me!
Save me!

[Man]
you're too late, mist.

I'm locking your girlfriend
in my secret dungeon.

[Mist]
you fiend!

Then I'm nailing
the door shut!

[Man]
and to be absolutely sure
that the poor pitiful lass

Can't possibly escape,

I'm building a brick wall
in front of it.

[Mist]
but you won't get me,

For I have
beclouded your mind.

[Man]
then I'll throw these dishes

Until I smash
your head in, mist.

Ha ha ha!

[Mist]
you can't get me!

Not even
with this anvil?

Ha ha ha!

[Mist]
I dare you to
do that again.

Oh, no.

Quickly, pinky,
run for cover!

[Man]
you'll never
get out of here alive!

[Mist]
oh, no?

I took
the precaution

Of calling
the cavalry!

[Playing music]

I hear them coming now!

You have forced me
to live up to my name, mist.

[Woman]
a b*mb!

A b*mb?

[Brain]
a b*mb?

[Pinky]
here's one.

[Mist]
fortunately, I cleverly
rerouted your fuse

So that all you blew up
was your own lab!

[Man]
my lab!

[Woman]
my hero!

My head.

And so ends
another episode of the mist,

Brought to you by blue coal.

Good night and good coal.

Alas, pinky,

I think I've lost
my powers of concentration.

Poit!
Don't worry, brain!

You'll come up
with another way to
befog men's minds.

It looks like
somebody already has.

Turn that thing off,
pinky.

We must prepare
for tomorrow night.

What are we going to do
tomorrow night, brain?

Watch more of this
exciting new medium?

No, pinky.

The same thing we do
every night--

Try to take over
the world!

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain, brain ♪

Whee!

Look, brain! Poit!
Ha ha ha!

I'm experiencing
total weightlessness!

Ooh!

Ah!

Curious.

Looks more like
total mindlessness,
pinky.

Oof!
Ah!

Uh!

These experiments
are degrading.

Narf! I think
they're fun, brain!

Ha ha ha!

I can't wait
for the next ride.

That's because you
have no dignity, pinky.

One day,
we will live in a world
where a mouse rules

And it's the humans
who are forced

Into these
humiliating diversions.

You mean orlando?

Did you see
that plaque, pinky?

Yes, brain. Poit.

He really ought to
floss more often.

Your interest
in dental hygiene
is admirable, pinky,

But that plaque
displays representations

Of man, woman,

And the rudiments
of earth's most
sophisticated science.

It's being sent
on a probe

To the outermost
extremities
of the galaxy

Along with a disk
showing earth's
arts and music.

If aliens
look upon it,

They will
learn everything
they need to know

About
the dominant species
on earth.

Narf.

Too bad there isn't
a picture of you
on there, brain.

Exactly, pinky.
Are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

I think so, brain,

But pants with
horizontal stripes
make me look chubby.

No, pinky.

If I put myself
on that plaque,

The aliens
will recognize me
as earth's leader.

Egad, brain!
I can hardly
recognize you now.

Voila!
You see, pinky?

I have replaced
the human figures
on the plaque.

Narf, brain.

It's brilliant!
Marvelous!

Ha ha ha! Oh, oh.
Just one thing.

Um, who is it?

It's me.

Oh, right, brain.
Ha ha ha.

Perfect likeness.

You see,
I've slightly altered
the great art masterpieces

To enhance
my own importance

As earth's leader.

Oh, this is
my favorite one, brain.

How did that
get in there?

And then they will
hear some samples

Of the world's great works
of classical music.

* Brain's the leader,
brain's the leader **

And america's
greatest contribution
to the fine arts,

Rock and roll.

* Wop-bop-a-loo-bop,
shebop-bam-brain **

Now, we must go
to the launch site

And switch these
with the real plaque
and laser disk.

But, brain,
what about ballet?
Poit!

Aren't you going to
give them a sample
of the ballet?

The aliens aren't going
to care about ballet, pinky.

Oh, I don't know,
brain.

I once saw a group
of japanese tourists
absolutely melt

At the final scene
of giselle.

Be quiet, pinky,
before I am forced
to injure you.

Halt! This is
a restricted area.

Show your
identification.

I am the famous
jet propulsion scientist
verner von brain

From the braun
institute in bonn.

Narf! And I'm
verner von pinky

From the mink
institute in pink.

Um, or is that
the colonel klink
institute in blink?

What is this,
some kind of
gag?

Actually, we're
two laboratory mice

Who are plotting to
take over the world.

Ha ha ha!

You tiny germans
sure have
a sense of humor.

Go on in.

From now on, pinky,

Whatever anyone asks you,

Just say
ja or nein.

Ja. Nein.
Ja. Nein. Narf!

10, 9,

8, 7, 6,

5, 4, 3...
Stand by for ignition.

Did you hear
the countdown,
pinky?

Ja!

What number
are they down to?

Nein.

Nine?
Ja!

Excellent.
Plenty of time.

[Engines revving]

Didn't you tell me

They were down
to nine, pinky?

Ja! Nein. Poit.

Tell me, pinky,
do you practice
being dim,

Or is it
a natural talent?

Oh, practice, brain.

All day, every day.
Blah!

[Man]
the philbin space probe,

Sent beyond the outer
reaches of our solar system
so long ago,

Extended an invitation
to the unknown,

And the unknown
has responded.

This is the greatest moment
in the history of the world.

Aliens from the planet
frunobulax are landing
in washington today,

And they demand
to meet our leader.

Here they come now.

Take me to your leader.

Uh, he means me.
I can feel his pain.

Nyet. I am the one.

Mais non.
C'est moi!

Oh, really, old chap,
I think he means me.

Umballa lazooloo!

Hoy so fong hay!

[Electrical crackling]

Aah!
Aah!

You are the earth creature
known as brain?

Yes. I am the leader
of this planet,

Ruler of all I survey.

Earth trembles
before my might.

Narf. And he really isn't
just a laboratory mouse

Who plans to take over
the world.

Quiet, pinky.
I'll handle this
from now on.

Poit. Narf.

Narf. Poit.
This one is
quite intelligent.

He speaks excellent
frunobulaxian. Poit.

Yes. I trained him.

Narf, poit, egad.

You will return
with us to frunobulax,

Where we will celebrate
your glory.

At last, pinky,
I am finally appreciated.

What does it feel like?

[Brain]
then I invented
the airplane...

Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!

Just before
my greatest discovery--

Airline food?

No, pinky.

I was referring
to electricity.

Ahh.
Ahh.

But, brain,
wasn't that ben franklin?

Huh?
Huh?

Ah ha ha!

That is considered
a gesture of respect
on earth.

One called brain,
we wish to show our respect.

Narf, brain.
You mean all these years,

You were just
showing me respect?

I'm touched.

You certainly are.
Now quiet.

Your words are
like pipe bombs

In my throbbing
cerebellum.

We give greetings to brain,
emperor of earth.

Yay!
Yay!

[Crowd chanting]
narf, poit, brain!

Narf, poit, brain!

At last, pinky,

I have fulfilled
my destiny!

It couldn't happen
to a nicer mouse

Attempting to take over
the world, brain.

We are approaching
your domicile,
brain of earth.

We hope it
will be suitable.

From now on, pinky,

Everything
will be different.

Oh.

Egad, brain!
They've locked us in!

Yes, pinky, yes.

But let us not
dwell on this.

Unh!

Let us prepare
for tomorrow night.

Why, brain?

What are we going to
do tomorrow night?

The same thing we do
every night, pinky--

Try to take over
frunobulax.

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ A world of cheeses

♪ Deliciously made
for you and me ♪

♪ Flavors like
provolone and brie ♪

♪ Each with
its own ethnicity ♪

♪ So many cheeses

♪ Are available
all around the world ♪

♪ For you to eat

♪ Especially good
with crackers and meat ♪

♪ A nice yummy treat

♪ Thousands of cheeses

♪ The texture of some
can be real gooey ♪

♪ Others are quite
firm and chewy ♪

♪ Some are better
when mildewy ♪

♪ Bountiful cheeses

♪ When you take a big whiff

♪ A few will make you
want to spew ♪

♪ Especially strong
is the cheese remondou ♪

♪ A real stinkeroo

♪ It's incredible
just how many kinds there are ♪

♪ From countries
near and far ♪

♪ It's really quite bizarre ♪

♪ Now from the mouths of cheeses
big and small ♪

♪ We proudly present to you...
The cheese roll call ♪

I am the british cheese
wensleydale,

Lightly pressed
and smooth-textured

With a subtle milky flavor,

Which is clean
and refreshing.

Welcome, wensleydale!

G'day! I am
australian cheddar,

An innocuous golden yellow,
rindless block

Inspired by cheddar
and edam.

Ha ha! Welcome, cheddam!

I am the german cheese
edelpilzkase,

A fine blue-veined cheese

With a pale ivory paste

And very dark veins
traveling vertically through me.

Welcome, edelpil...

Edelpil...

Oh, willkommen!

Thank you, cheeses!

I want to eat you all!

♪ Oh, how I like my cheeses

♪ Cheese from around
the world ♪

♪ Cheese is the taste
that pleases ♪

♪ Cheese from around
the world ♪

Sing with me, cheeses!

♪ Oh, how I like my cheeses

♪ Cheese from around
the world ♪

Everybody!

♪ Cheese is the taste
that pleases ♪

♪ Cheese from around
the world ♪

♪ Around this great big world

♪ Around this
big cheese world ♪

♪ Around this great big world

♪ Around this
big cheese world ♪♪

Mmm. Yummy.

Narf.

Captioning made possible by
warner bros.

Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.ncicap.org--

I believe you will find mr bingley
is in the drawing room, ma'am.

Thank you.

Mr darcy, come and advise me.
Mr hurst carries all before him!

- Ha!
- 0Oh!

May I enquire after your sister, miss bennet?

- Thank you. I believe she's a little better.
- I am very glad to hear it.

- Mr hurst, I'm quite undone!
- [Hurst]: should have played the deuce.

[Miss bingley]: he's undone us all, mr darcy!

- Will you join us, miss bennet?
- I thank you, no.

You prefer reading to cards? Singular!

Miss bennet despises cards. She's a great reader
and has no pleasure in anything else.

I deserve neither such praise nor such censure.

I am not a great reader
and take pleasure in many things.

And what do you do so secretly, sir?

It's no secret. I'm writing to my sister.

[Miss bingley]: dear georgiana!
I long to see her!

Is she much grown since the spring?
Is she as tall as me?

She's now about miss elizabeth
bennet's height, or a little taller.

And so accomplished! Her performance
at the pianoforte is exquisite!

- Do you play, miss bennet?
- Aye, but very ill indeed.

All young ladies are accomplished!
They sing, they draw, they dance,

Speak french and german, cover screens,
and I know not what!

Not half a dozen would satisfy me
as accomplished.

[Miss bingley]: certainly! No woman
can be esteemed accomplished,

Who does not also possess a certain
something in her air,

In the manner of walking, in the tone of her voice,
her address and expressions.

[Darcy]: and to this she must yet add
something more substantial,

In the improvement of her mind
by extensive reading.

I'm no longer surprised at you knowing
only six accomplished women.

I wonder at your knowing any.

[Mrs hurst]: you're severe upon your sex,
miss bennet.

[Elizabeth]: I must speak as I find.

Perhaps you haven't had the advantage
of moving in society enough.

There are many very accomplished young ladies
amongst our acquaintance.

[Hurst]: come, come! This is a fine
way to play cards! You're all light!

Look, girls! Is it not a fair prospect?

And now the mother! Are we to be invaded
by every bennet in the country?

It's too much to be borne!

Mrs bennet! Welcome! I hope you don't
find miss bennet worse than expected.

Indeed I do, sir! She's very ill indeed,
and suffers a vast deal,

Though with the greatest patience in the world,
for she has the sweetest temper.

But she is much too ill to be moved. We must
trespass a little longer on your kindness.

But of course!

Miss bennet will receive every possible attention,
I assure you.

You are very good.

Well, you have a sweet room here!

I think you will never want to leave netherfield.

I'd be happy to live in the country forever.
Wouldn't you, darcy?

You would? You don't find the society
somewhat confined and unvarying?

Confined and unvarying? Indeed it is not, sir!

The country is a vast deal pleasanter than town,
whatever you may say about it!

Mamma, you mistake mr darcy's meaning.

Do i? He seems to think the country
nothing at all!

- Mamma.
- Confined, unvarying!

I would have him know we dine with 24 families!

[Giggles]

Mamma? Have you seen charlotte lucas
since I came away?

Yes, she called yesterday with sir william.
What an agreeable man he is!

That is my idea of good breeding.

Those persons who fancy themselves
very important, and never open their mouths,

Quite mistake the matter.

Mr bingley, did you not promise a ball
when you were settled here?

It will be a scandal if you don't keep your word.

I am perfectly ready to keep my engagement.
When your sister is recovered,

You shall name the day of the ball, if you please.

There, now, lydia! That's a fair promise for you!
That's generosity for you!

That's what I call gentlemanly behaviour!

Miss eliza bennet.

Let me persuade you to follow my example
and take a turn about the room. It's so refreshing!

Will you not join us, mr darcy?

- That would defeat the object.
- What do you mean, sir?

- What can he mean?
- I think we would do better not to enquire.

Nay, we insist on knowing your meaning, sir!

That your figures are to best advantage
when walking,

And that I might best admire them from here.

Shocking! Abominable reply!

- How shall we punish him, miss eliza?
- Nothing so easy. Tease him.

- Laugh at him.
- Laugh at mr darcy?

Impossible!

- He is a man without fault.
- Is he indeed?

A man without fault?

That is not possible for anyone.

But it has been my study to avoid
those weaknesses which expose ridicule.

Such as vanity, perhaps, and pride?

Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed.

[Darcy]: but pride...

Where there is a superiority of mind,
pride will always be under regulation.

I have faults, but I hope they're not
of understanding.

My temper I cannot vouch for.

It might be called resentful.

My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.

That is a failing indeed, but I cannot laugh at it.

I believe every disposition
has a tendency to some evil.

- Your defect is a propensity to hate everyone.
- Yours is wilfully to misunderstand them.

Some music?

Give your parents my warmest salutations.

Your father is most welcome to sh**t with us
at any time convenient.

Thank you, sir. You are very kind.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Drive on, rossiter.

[Miss bingley]: how pleasant it is
to have one's house to oneself again!

But I fear mr darcy is mourning the loss of miss
eliza bennet's pert opinions and fine eyes.

Quite the contrary, I assure you.

[Elizabeth]: 0h, jane!

I'm sorry to say it, but notwithstanding
your excellent mr bingley,

I've never been so happy
to leave a place in my life!