01x09 - Snowball

[bunniefuu]

Brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing we do
every night, pinky--

Try to take over the world.

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky and the brain

♪ One is
a genius ♪

♪ The other's
insane ♪

♪ They're laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain

♪ Before each night is done

♪ Their plan will be unfurled

♪ By the dawning of the sun

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky and the brain

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove their mousey worth

♪ They'll overthrow the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain

♪ Brain,
brain ♪♪

Narf!

Ha ha ha!
Wa ha ha!

Ha! Whoo! Ha ha ha.

Oh, brain, you look
simply fetching!

Narf.
Ha ha ha.

Silence, pinky.

These are
the only garments
I could obtain.

Besides, you're
no helen of troy
yourself.

Tonight we shall
use the power of
static electricity

To conquer
the world.

Observe.

See, pinky?

Static will
entrap the world

In its own garments.

Zort. Gee, brain.
We look kind of groovy.

Don't use that word.

It sickens me.

To generate
global static cling,

We shall construct
a massive clothes dryer.

Behold
the titano-cycle 4000!

With three speeds

And a*t*matic
wrinkle guard.

It will be huge,
pinky.

The lint screen
alone

Will be
a half mile long.

Outstanding, brain!
Narf.

Unfortunately,

A dryer
of this magnitude

Will cost $14 billion
and 59 cents.

I have it!

We build a huge tooth

And leave it
under a pillow--

A huge pillow.

Then fairies
will bring us
lots of money.

I suggest you
refrain from eating
paint chips, pinky.

Now go
busy yourself.

I must ponder a way

To raise
billions of dollars.

Right then.
I won't be a bother.

Brain, if I ate


Would I explode?

I must have peace,
pinky.

Why don't you
use this time

To acquire a hobby?

You mean like restoring
world w*r ii aircraft?

Zoom! Bogey at
three o'clock!

Wa ha ha!

Here, pinky.
Try origami,

The japanese art
of paper folding.

It will provide you

With countless hours
of wholesome fun.

Egad! That's
astounding, brain!

Thank you, pinky.

Now quietly
amuse yourself.

Ooh. Look, brain.
I made a round bird.

Yes. Good. Splendid.

Birdy birdy birdy!
Narf!

[Wham]

What is this?

A bird.

A round bird.

It's a mess.

The correct way
to fold--

That's it!

"President signs $30 billion
aid package to chad."

Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

Well, I think so,
brain,

But pantyhose
are so uncomfortable
in the summertime.

No, pinky. The money.

We'll get it
from the u.s. Government!

Ooh.

First we establish
a bogus nation.

Then we dupe
the state department

Out of a huge
foreign aid loan.

Genius, brain!

Oh, wait. No.

Won't they know we're
not a real country?

The average american's

Knowledge of geography
is pitiful.

They'll think we're part
of the former soviet union

Or canada.

We'll create
our own nation

Right here
on island "x."

Strategically located
between kwajalein
and lamotrek,

Its remote location
will be perfect

For the giant
clothes dryer.

Can we call the country
pinkyland or maybe eric?

Don't vex me, pinky,
or I shall turn on you.

Now come.

A long sea voyage
awaits us,

And at its end,
we shall found a nation,

And that nation
shall be called
brainania!

Ooh! Pretty rough sea
tonight, eh, brain?

Wa ha ha ha!

I'm about to
evacuate my lunch.

Luckily
this accursed ship

Will soon reach
island "x."

Ahoy, brain.

We're almost
out of spam,

But there's a bunch
of gelatin in here

With bits of spam
stuck to it.

Do you want any?

[Brain groans]

Right. I'll save you
some then. Zort.

[Pinky]
aah...

No, jocko. Away.

Aah...

That was not
my first choice.

We haven't seen
anybody yet, brain.

I guess
we're alone here.

Excellent, pinky.

It's time to
flesh out the terrain.

That volcano
will be mount brain,

This clearing
will be brain flats,

And that water
over there--

[Whimpering]

Oh, very well.

The fjord of pinky.

Zort! Oh,
thank you, brain.

The fjord of pinky!

I am stern
but benevolent.

Fjord.
Ha ha ha ha.

Fjord!

Let us salute
our national colors.

[Imitating bugle]

[Brain clears
his throat]

Hmm?

I must deliver my
state of the union
address.

"People of brainania,

"The giant
clothes dryer
that I build here

"Will mean jobs--

Jobs that will pay
for schools."

Excuse me, brain, but--

Quiet, pinky.

"Schools that
will pay for more
government waste."

Poit.

What?

[Pinky]
big natives, brain.

This is
most unexpected.

Aah!

I'll address them

In the primitive argot
of the south seas.

Me number-one fella.
Other fella number 10.

Catchy all same-same.
You savvy?

G'day, mate.
You speak english?

Me and the boys
learned the lingo

From an old
island trader.

Later on,
we ate him and shrank
his blinkin' head.

Want to see?

Perhaps later.

Anyway,
you can call me alan.

Everyone does.

Hello, alan.
Um, I would be pinky.

And this is
prime minister brain

Who is in charge of
this island

And everything
you see. Narf.

How do you figure that,
mate?

This island belongs
to our great volcano god
wanganui.

What protects us
from evil and harm
and what-all-else.

You're claiming to be greater
than our volcano god,

And that don't set well
with us.

M-m-my friend and I

Have been sent
by your volcano god.

He has given us
magical powers.

Behold. I can create fire
from a little box.

So what?
Big deal.

Let's eat 'em.

I can steal your souls
and put them in this glass.

So what?
Big deal.

Let's eat 'em.

I can make bubbles
with my spit.

[Gasp]
[gasp]

Now do you believe
we were sent
by your god?

No. That's just really cool!

I'm sure wanganui...

What protects us
from evil--

Not now.

Would approve of you.

We're your
followers, mate.

Excellent.

Stop that, pinky.

You can aid us

In building
our country's

Most important
institutions--

An airport, a keno parlor,
and an overpriced gift shop.

♪ We're going to
build brainania ♪

♪ We're going to
build brainania ♪♪

Ah, isn't it pretty,
brain?

Save your adorational
musings, pinky.

Washington
and the world await!

[Pinky]
I'm making a birdy!
Oof!

Later. Now listen
carefully, pinky.

From now on,

I am the most exalted
ned limpopo,

Prime minister
of brainania.

You are hassan lembeck,
the minister of finance.

Do you understand?

Um, no, brain.
I don't think I do.

Fjord!

I'll handle all matters
of protocol.

You carry
the diplomatic pouch.

Remember,
it's genuine leather,

So keep it dry.

Oh, right, brain.
I got it.

We'll obtain
the loan

And be gone before
anyone is the wiser.

This should be like
misappropriating
milk duds

From an infant.

Well, aren't you
the tiniest foreigners

I've had in here
all morning!

I'm mrs. Applebee.
Can I help you?

Yes. We would like to
have relations with you

And steal
some milk duds.

Grr!

We wish to establish
diplomatic relations

With the u.s.

I am
the prime minister
of brainania,

And this
is my minister
of finance.

Brainania?

Oh, yes, I remember.

You used to be
a suburb of prague.

Can you prove
you're a nation?

Yes.
We have postcards.

That's the fjord
of pinky.

Fjord!

You foreign folks

Sure have your own
q*eer little ways.

This gives you
relations with the u.s.

And a complimentary
football phone.

Congrats!

Thank you.

Now, we'd also like
some big, fat
foreign aid.

Oh. Well, that would be
mr. Fontain bisque.

You'll find him
down that hall.

He's nasty.

[Woman] mr. Bisque,
the prime minster of brainania

Is here to see you.

Great! More moochers!
Send him in.

Brainania...brainania...

Mr. Bisque.

I am the most exalted
ned limpopo,

Prime minister
and ruler of brainania.

This is hassan lembeck,
my minister of finance.

We would like a great, big
sack of money please.

Brainania? Oh, yes.

You--you used to be
a dutch colony
in south america.

What do you want
a loan for?

I intend to build
a titanic clothes dryer

And conquer the world.

Oh, please stop.

Next you'll be saying,
"what a country."

How much money
do you want?

$14 Billion
and 59 cents,

And we'd prefer it
in u.s. Currency.

You see, our only money
is the queeb,

An asphalt coin
weighing over 30 pounds.

All brainania
has ripped pockets.

Sorry. No loan.
There's nothing here

To indicate
financial trouble.

In fact,

You have no credit
rating at all.
Now go away.

He can no doubt be pressured
by a subtle thr*at.

In refusing our loan,

You could harm
delicate negotiations

Between brainania
and the u.s.

Oh, right,
right, right.

Um, we're going to
inv*de your land,

Go boom boom boom,

And make you
our pathetic slaves.

inv*de? Help!
Brainania has declared w*r!

Everyone to arms!

Pinky,
you've just created

An international
incident.

Thank you, brain.
Narf!

Quickly, let us--

In the words
of the immortal
yogi berra,

It's deja vu
all over again.

This is punchline.

Good evening.
I'm fred floppel.

The crisis continues

Between the u.s.
And brainania.

Is there an eleventh-hour
chance for peace?

To find out,

We have the brainanian
minister of finance,

Hassan lembeck.

[Pinky]
narf.

And the most exalted
ned limpopo,

Prime minister
and ruler of brainania.

[Brain]
thank you, fred.
Good evening.

Perhaps you gentlemen

Would care to
climb up on the desk.

Mr. Prime minister,

You claim
that the state department

Insulted your country

By refusing
foreign aid.

Is this
worth a conflict?

Quite frankly, fred,

We've gone to w*r
over a lot less.

Still, no one wants peace
more than brainania.

We are lovers of peace.

Oh, yes.
I love peace
very much.

It's gooey
in a good way.

Nevertheless,
we will not be bullied.

Let the u.s. Beware.



We fought the island of yap
to a savage draw.

My mother
was there.

Oh, yeah.
She got hit
on the head

By a canoe paddle.
Fjord!

My people
still sing of this

Around
their little campfires.

Really? Would you
sing a little of it
for us now?

Uh, yes...

♪ Spears in hand,
we sail for yap ♪

♪ We will wipe them
off the... ♪

♪ Front porch

* Brainania,
you nation of folks *

* Here comes a guy
selling watery cokes *

* We will fight
and never quit *

* Find me a rooftop,
and I will spit **

Narf.

We will fight
and never quit.

Find me a rooftop,
and I will spit.

Narf.

And so the brainania
david spat defiance

At the goliath
united states.

Well, there you have it,
gentlemen.

They won't back down,
and neither will we.

As you see,
all units are deployed

And ready to go.

[Man]
general odin.
Where is brainania?

It's up here
on the big board.

Uh, where exactly, sir?

We're ready to go
at a moment's notice.

[Telephone rings]

Yes, mr. Secretary.

For the last time,
general,

Where is brainania?

Well, it's, uh,
on the big board.

We're way down
in the polls.

We need a fast,
easy w*r.

Sir, brainania
isn't on the map,

Our satellites
can't find it,

And it's listed
inany back issues
of national geographic.

Sadly, we can't go
to w*r with a country
we can't find.

Wuss.

Edward burrow here live

As the brainanian motorcade
heads for the white house

To sign an historic peace
and friendship treaty.

Last-second diplomacy
has averted a w*r,

A grateful america
turns out

To thank brainania
for--

[Click]

Our bluff
was successful, pinky.

In a few short hours,

We shall have
our foreign aid loan...

And then the world!

Birdy birdy birdy!
Narf.

I sense that much of
this historic moment

Is escaping you.

[Hail to the chief
playing]

Mr. President,

May I present
the most exalted
ned limpopo,

The prime minister
and ruler of brainania,

And his minister
of finance,

Hassan lembeck.

Me number one
fella.

Other fella's
number 10.

Catchy all
same-same.
You savvy?

I speak fluent english.

Hey.
Sure you do.

All brainania
ever wanted from the u.s.

Was friendship...

Friendship
and $14 billion and 59 cents.

The friendship
I will treasure.

The money I will spend

On polo ponies
and cruise missiles.

Thank you.

[Applause]

Not to sound
ungracious,

But pressing
state business

Awaits me
in brainania.

Certainly,
mr. Prime minister.

However, before we
grant you the loan,

There's
a small favor
we'd like to ask.

Perhaps your
minister of finance

Will want to
hear this.

He's, uh...
Praying.

Of course.

Now, then,
we were wondering

If brainania
would mind storing


Our nuclear waste.

Yeah. We're kind of
out of room right now.

Reactor core
control rods

Or resins
and filters?

Actually,
it's core fuel.

Strontium 90
or uranium 238?

Uranium 238.

We use it because
it splinters easily

When struck
by a free neutron.

Hmm.

We'll take 4 tons,
provided you supply

Burloyen-lined
metzger tanks.




Done.

I don't know what you
all are talking about,

But, whooee, it
sure sounds smart.

Here. You better not
lose it, buster.

I just erased
your records.

You won't get
another check
from me.

One should be enough.

Thanks and farewell,
you niggling bureaucrat.

What did you
call me?

The hapless fool.

We'll see how he rages

After he's been
in our clothes dryer

And his very garments
imprison him like a mummy.

Then we can put
tickly things
in his nose. Zort.

Let's not be
vindictive, pinky.

I don't understand
it, pinky.

We've looked
everywhere.

The entire island
is deserted.

Maybe alan
went to the store.

Probably
to eat a clerk.

[Alan]
g'day, mate.

Me and the boys
have bugged out

Because wanganui--

What protects us
from evil and--

Not now--
is blinkin' mad.

Best of luck
and all that. Alan.

Now I get it!
Ha ha ha!

To eat a clerk!

Ha ha ha!
Fjord!

Quiet, pinky.

Without alan
and the others,

We must clear
the jungle ourselves,

Buy the parts,
build the dryer--

Drat! We've lost
our work force.

Well, at least
we've still got
brainania.

[Rumbling]

I sense life has taken
another sardonic twist.

Whoa...

Aah...
Aah...

The sea, pinky.
We're almost to safety.

We must get away
from the coastline

In the event
of a...

Tidal wave, brain?

Seismic wave
or tsunami.

Either would be
correct.

Fjord!

We are accursed of mice.

Aah...

Whoo hoo hoo!
That was fun, eh, brain?

Kablash! Wa ha ha!

Don't you have
a hobby?

Oh. Right.
Yes, I do.

Mother nature has slammed
her unmerciful fist

On our fair isle,
pinky.

Do you know
what this means?

Birdy birdy birdy!
Narf!

Ha ha ha!

Blast it, pinky.

I said, do you know
what this means?

Um, it means
you just tore up

Our foreign aid check?

I feel weak
and sheepish.

Unh.

Start paddling,
pinky.

We must reach the lab
before tomorrow night.

Why? What are we going to
do tomorrow night, brain.

Same thing we do
every night, pinky--

Try to take over
the world!

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky and the brain ♪

♪Brain, brain, brain, brain ♪♪