02x09 - Two Mice and a Baby/The Maze

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to take over
the world.

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ One is a genius

♪ The other's insane ♪

♪ They're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ Their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ Before each night
is done ♪

♪ Their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ By the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ They'll take over
the world ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Their twilight campaign

♪ Is easy to explain

♪ To prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ They'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain, brain

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Narf!

[Trumpet fanfare]

Pinky: yay, brain.
That's you.

And look.
I'm making shadow puppets.

This one's a mouse.

Cheese. Cheese.
Ha ha.

Squeak. Ha ha. Narf!

Brain:
please, pinky.

Hold your stupidity
until the end.

And get your feet
off the chair.

Group of people: surprise.
Happy birthday, ted.

♪ For he's
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For ted from accounting's
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny

Brain:
i, ted from accounting,

Thank you for this
moving celebration.

Ah, if only there were
an all-powerful uber mouse

To whom mankind could
pledge their servitude.

Oh, well.

I will now
blow out the candles.

Hoo!

[Hissing]

I-yii. What's happening?

Strange gas
metamorphosizing.

Yes, it all
makes sense now.

It all makes
perfect sense.

Group of people:
hail brain.

Praise brain.

Hail brain.

Praise brain.

Marvelous. Stupendous.

The feel-good hit
of the summer.

Gene shalit says,
"hail brain.

"Praise brain.

Hail brain."

Pinky.

I appreciate
your accolades.

Thanks. I just
had them done.

That was but
a mere film.

This will produce
the mind-controlling
candles.

No!

Save the animals!

Save the animals!

Save the animals!

We, the people
of the simian
liberation army,

Hereby declare
these monkeys free.

Unhand me, sir,

Lest I see you
in court.

Oh, no! This time,
science has gone too far.

[Sobbing]

Look what they've done
to these monkeys!

We are mice.

Mice? Don't worry,
bright eyes.

Nobody's ever gonna
hurt you again.

Promise.

Unh!
Unh!

Good news,
my furry brethren.

You're home.

The jungle?

No, you don't
understand.

The lab is our home.

We're not wild mice.

We're products
of science.

You mean...

You've never foraged
for food,

Fended for your lives?

Oh, this is horrible!

You lack the skills
to survive in your
natural habitat.

There's simply no way
you two can make it
out there.

Release the mice.

Release the mice!

Mice released.

Be free,
little ones!

Be free!

Can mice fly?

Sure.
Just like monkeys.

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!

Pinky. Pinky.

Aah!

Pinky: egad, brain.

We've fallen into some kind
of intergalactic wormhole.

With real worms. Nya!

Look about you, pinky.

The jungle.

Poisonous plants,
bloodthirsty carnivores,

The stench of decay
permeating the air.

Actually, I rather like it.

[Inhales]

Smells just like
an airwick solid. Narf!

We must find
a way home.

I've got it.

We'll construct
a molecular scrambling

Teleportation device

That will beam us
back to the lab.

Yes. Now, all we need
are a few simple components:

An atom smasher,
some stray rods
of strontium 90,

A 3/16 socket wrench.

Um, there's a big pile
of dung under that tree.

Dung? Of course.

With dung,
I can make a...

A huge...

Dung...

Monorail?

Hmm.

No, brain.
We'll make dungarees.

Oh, yes.

And then we'll fly
on our magical pants

To the planet
slacks.

Ooh.

Narf.

No, my fallow friend.

I'm afraid we are
in considerable peril.

Don't worry, brain.


Will make it all better:

Hakuna matata.

If I hurt you now,
no one would know.

Um...i might.

That's debatable.

[Panting]

Oh, brain, you're
huffing and puffing
like a chubby boy.

I thought we had
an agreement, pinky.

Oh, I know, brain,
but I just love
the word "chubby."

Ha ha ha ha!

Chubby. Ha ha.

Egads. I'm hungry.

Yes. Sustenance.

We'll simply procure
some potassium carbonate

And some triglycerides,

Maybe some jell-o.

Um, there's a big pile
of dung under that tree.

[Groans]

Look up, brain.

A mango.

Mango. Yes.

We'll build a platform.

Uh...

If only we had some
extruded aluminum
to make scaffolding.

If only we had
some steel

To make
an aluminum extruder.

If only we had
a smelting plant
to make steel.

If only...

How about a stick,
brain?

A stick is your friend.

Oh, goody.

Well done.

Well, thank you,
brain. I--

Pinky, what?
Shh!

Aah!
Aah!

Uhn!
Unh!

Ooga-booga!
Ooga-booga!

Pinky, come back!

We need to devise
an intricate trap

To ensnare
the beast.

Uh...

Um...

Surrender now, beast.

Lay down your life or...

Or I shall, uh...

I shall...

Confound you with
quadratic imponderables.

Aah!

Quicksand.

No. No. No! No!

Pinky!

[Tarzan yell]

Good news,
brain.

Tonight we eat.

Uhh!

[Groan]

Pinky.

Pinky.

Pinky, please.

We shouldn't get separated.

Don't worry, brain.
I'm marking our trail

So we'll never
lose each other

And we can find
our way back.

Back?

Back to what?

Why on earth would we
want to go back there?

I don't know.

Relive the memories?

See old friends?

A stick is my friend.

That's right!

Ahh, stick.

We hardly knew ye.

Come on.

[Tarzan yell]

Pinky, wait for me.

Uhh.

Aah!

Uhh!

[Panting]

Well done, brain.

You found us
the river.

Fjord!

Yes, but...

Which way to civilization?

Upstream.

Upstream?

Are you heeding
some long-dormant
jungle instinct?

Well, that and this
just floated downstream.

Brain, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

We eat the box?

No, brain.

We build a boat,
and then we eat
the box.

Pinky: we're stuck.
Get out and pull us free.

Aye, aye, captain.

[Grunting]

You've done it, brain.

You've pulled us through.
Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, and kudos on your
lovely native headgear.

Headgear? What are you--

Aah!

It's not a hat, pinky.
It's a leech.

My, my, brain.

Ha! You look
just like davy crockett.

I hate leeches.



Hakuna ma--

Ohh.

Judge bader ginsburg...

Please.

You're hurting me.

Can't breathe.

Shush. Now,
you rest, child.

Pinky, i...

I...

You've made a hat?

I wove it from strips
of tree bark.

Do you like it?
It's no leech.

You know much of
the jungle ways,
my friend.

I...

I am ever so lost,

Hopeless.

Brain, it's ok, brain.

It's the jungle, pinky.

I don't think I can
make it out here.

[Sobbing]

Pull yourself
together, brain!

Pinky, what will we do?

What is it, pinky?

Pinky?

Pinky?

Pinky?!

Jungle scary.

Jungle scary.

Jungle scary.

Ow!

Ooh, now,
that's got to hurt.

We're the driscolls.

The michigan
driscolls.

Look, brain, tourists.

Can--can you
help us get home?

Oh, why go home

When you can
stay and worship
the wise one?

Wise one?

The wise one
can do anything.

We'll make camp here.

Tomorrow we'll travel
to the wise one's village.

How far is it?

Right by
that tree.

Can't we go now?

Oh, all right.

Oh, it wasn't
always so beautiful.

It used to be
an abandoned club med.

We had a very
bad travel agent.

We almost starved to death.

Then, the wise one
came and saved us.

The wise one sounds
like a wonderful man.

Man? No, he--

Wait. It is he.

Brain?

Snowball?

Brain.

Ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, man,

You better
not be here to hurt
the wise one, man.

Snowball isn't a wise one.

He's just a genetically
altered evil hamster
bent on...

On evil.

Nah nah nah nah nah!
That's crazy talk, man.

The wise one, he--
he knows things, man.

He knows that
bill clinton guy

Is really just
a guy in a suit.

He's a man's man, man.

He's a man's
man's man, man.

Man!

Wasn't that
dennis hopper?

Oh, I love him!

Did you see the movie
where he played a manic,
crazy psycho?

Bring me the leader.

Uhh!

Pinky? The leader?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Well, this
is a surprise.

So be it.

Here's a little joke
for you, pinky.

Knock, knock.

Well, that's not a very
funny joke, is it?

Oh, bring me
the old leader,

The one with
the chubby head.

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Chubby! Ha ha ha--narf!

Uhh.

Well, brain, this
is quite a surprise.

Finally your
outward appearance

Matches the sad chaos
of your little mind.

The father has become
the helpless child
and so--

Snowball,
you must help us.

Help you?

Help you? Oh, brain,
that is rich.

Positively affluent.

We may have
been friends once,

But why would
I save the mouse
that's been sent here

To k*ll me?

k*ll you?

We were dropped
here by some misguided
animal rights activists.

Ah, so you
know my story?

They prepared you well.

Who is "they"?

Them.
The "they" of them.

They're they.

They're there. Them!

You're mad,
snowball.

Pay attention, brain.

Here I am the ruler.

You may have prevented me
from taking the world,

But this little shangri-la,

This is mine.

I have a joke
for you, brain.
Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Brain.

Brain who?

Exactly.

[Snap snap
snap snap]

Tie him and
his lazy-eyed companion

Atop the giant water slide.

Tonight, they die!

I take it
all went well then?

Pinky,
display your savvy.

Brain, in public?

Plead with our captors.

Oh, right, brain.

Ahem. People of
snowball...ville,

Uh, opolis,

Um...

Quickly, pinky, they
can smell our fear.

[Sniff sniff]

That's not fear.

That's a 1.99,
all-you-can-eat,
vegas-style buffet

Coming from a resort
up the beach.

[Cheering]

Good work, pinky.

But 1.99? Are they
out of their minds?

Now, brain, we must get
out of here before snowball--

Snowball: arrives?

You should have
stayed in your beloved
civilization, brain.

You're in
the jungle now,

And in the jungle,
only the strong,

The truly strong
can survive.

Save us, pinky.

Summon all your
animal savagery

And break through
these bonds.

Here I go.

Yaaaaaa!

Ha ha ha ha ha!
Aah!

Ugh!

Pinky?

Pinky:
it's all right, brain.

This quicksand
broke my fall.

Quicksand?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, don't worry, brain.
You'll join him soon enough.

[Grunting]

Grrr!

Snowball:
surrender!

Brain: in your dreams!

Uhh. You were always
so darn dramatic.

And you...

Were always...

So...darn...dainty!

Uhh! Uhh!

Yes!

Bravo, brain! Ha ha.

I'd clap incessantly

If I wasn't being digested
by this quicksand.

Pinky!

Strike one!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

That crazy hamster
is out of his mind.

Who does he think he is--
greg maddux?

Pinky? Pinky,
what should I do?

Um...

There's a big pile
of dung under that tree.

If only I had...a stick.

Yes! A stick
is my friend.

♪ Oh, brain

♪ Come out and play

[Leaves rustling]

Bye-bye, brain.

Grrr!

Yaaaa!

See the great
mouse fall.

Yaaaa!

Dung.

Brain, where are you,

You animal?!

Awfully
sloppy trail, brain.

And you were
being so clever.

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh!

Snowball?

Brain!

Uhh. Aah!

Snowball, listen to me.
You need help.

Perhaps you're right,
brain.

Yes. It all goes back
to my childhood.

You see, I was
the middle hamster.

Ah, brain. Ha ha.

You make treachery fun.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Aah!

Snowball!

Quickly, snowball,
take my hand.

Thanks, but
no thanks, brain.

I don't need your--

Help!

Aha, brain,
you can't b*at me.

Aah!

Pinky:
waaa! Aah!

Pinky!

[Mumbling]

[Tarzan yell]

My hero.

Stop it, pinky,
or I'll put you
right back in.

Guess we can continue
our journey homeward now,
eh, brain?

Home?

Pinky, we are home.

Here in the wild, I've never
felt so strong, so alive.

This is where
we belong...

In the great outdoors.

For here we are kings,

Kings of the jungle!

Here's a couple of
wild mice to replace
them two you had stolen.

No, you don't understand.

The jungle is our home.

We're not
laboratory mice.

We're creatures
of the wild.

So, what are we
going to do tomorrow
night, brain?

The same thing we do
every night, pinky...

[Tarzan yell]

♪ They're dinky ♪

♪ They're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ Brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪