03x29 - Pinky's Turn/Your Friend: Global Domination

[bunniefuu]

Gee, brain,

What do you
want to do tonight?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky,

Try to take over
the world.

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ one is a genius ♪

♪ the other's insane ♪

♪ they're
laboratory mice ♪

♪ their genes
have been spliced ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

♪ before each night
is done ♪

♪ their plan
will be unfurled ♪

♪ by the dawning
of the sun ♪

♪ they'll take over
the world ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ yes, pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ their twilight campaign ♪

♪ is easy to explain ♪

♪ to prove
their mousey worth ♪

♪ they'll overthrow
the earth ♪

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain, brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Pinky: narf!

Now, let's see...

"cinderfella, salmonella,
schmageggy."

Behold, pinky,

The legendary
hope zirconium.

[Shudders]

Yes.

It's worth...

hundreds.

Narf!

I'll get it
for you, brain.

Just remember, pinky,

This room is built over
a volcanic hot spot.

Any vibration will set off
a huge eruption.

Oh, right. Um...

why don't you start
it off, brain?

I mean, after all,
you found it.

Oh, not at all, pinky.

Be my guest.

Please, i insist.

Oh, no, really.
You--

I know, brain.
Why don't we flip
a coin?

Fine, pinky.

Heads, i win.

[Rumbling]

Aah!
Aah!

Unh.
Unh.

The curse
of the hope zirconium

Proved stronger
than i thought.

Without that jewel,
i can't afford
the satellite i need

To switch the population's
clock radios

To permanent snooze

While i take over
the world.

So make up another
plan, brain,

Like every other time
one of your plans fails.

Obviously, pinky,
you have no idea
of the planning

That goes into making
my intricate,

Multilayered stratagems.

Oh, yes, i do, brain.

First you make
a lot of tappy sounds
on the computer--

Tap, tap, tap--

Then you get all
mumbly and angry,

And your head
swells up extra big.

And then you say
your happy plan.

Well, if that's all
there is to it, pinky,

Why don't you come up
with our next plan

For world domination?

Do you mean it, brain?

By all means, pinky.

Make a plan, and we will
follow it to the letter.

The embarrassment that
will inevitably follow

Will make you understand
why i am a genius
and you are--

[Pinky giggling]

Someone who plays
hide and seek
with a sandwich.

I won't let you down,
brain. Narf!

I'll get on it
straight away.

Fine.

I could use an evening
of low comedy

To take the edge off.

[Humming]

Zort! All right, then, uh,

Lots of smelly things

Divided by
the square root
of a gummy worm,

Oh, carry the fat man and...

narf! Ha ha ha.

I'm done, brain.

I'm all ears, pinky.

How do you propose
we take over the world?

Ok, we'll go to a small town
in the middle of nowhere

And open an oyster
petting zoo.

An oyster petting zoo?

Are you out of your--

An oyster petting zoo
it is, pinky.

Excellent idea.

And then
you like it, brain?

Uh, let's just say
that i could never

Come up with
a plan like that.

Oh, thank you, brain!

Without a lobotomy.

Pinky's oysterland
is open for business.

Nature's best-Loved
shellfish yours
for the petting.

Come on in and meet
a mollusk. Narf!

Well, pinky, you've had
one customer in 6 hours.

Yes. Isn't it
exciting, brain?

Oh, by the way,

You and the oysters
better get over
to the main stage

For the 2:00 show.

Remind me, pinky.

How, exactly, do you hope
to take over the world

With an oyster petting zoo?

Hmm.

Oh, i don't really
do details, brain.

I'm more of
a big picture person.
Narf!

Hey there, little guy.

Ooh, you're a friendly
little clam, aren't ya?

[Belches]

Excuse me. Ahem.

Hey! What do you know?

Someone lost a pearl.

Ooh, i better
tell the manager.

Hi. Welcome to oysterland.

Hello.
Welcome to oysterland.

Hello, and welcome
to oysterland.

And so we gather here today
to honor a local businessman

Who has made a tourist mecca
of our beloved smalltown.

[Cheering]

We are, therefore, pleased
to bestow upon pinky

This key to the city
and the title of...

mayor for a day.

Oh, thank you, telly.

People of smalltown,

As your mayor
for today--Poit--

I hereby change
the name of this town

To shiny pants.

[Cheering]

And starting today,

Every citizen
of shiny pants must wear...

uh, oh, yes...

very shiny pants.

[Cheering]

Have you ever seen
so many shiny pants
in one place?

Not since the last earth,
wind and fire tour, pinky.

Peterson here.

Tell rupert
the merger's off.

Ok, now tell him
it's on.

Who is this?

Put connie on.

Well, tell her
she's fired.

Now rehire her,
double her salary,

And fire her again!

What the--

What's going on?

Can't see.
Everything's...

shiny.

[Screaming]

What happened?

I saw lights.
I was falling.

Could i be...

in heaven?

No. You're in shiny pants.

Shiny pants.

Yes, yes,
i think i...

belong here.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you buzz peterson,
head of zipdyne media

And number 7
of people magazine's

"50 most obnoxious
rich people"?

Not anymore.

Now that i've had
this...experience,

I know there's
more to life

Than money and power.

I know that i was meant
to live right here
with all of you

And wear very...

shiny pants.

What a nice man.

What a stark raving
lunatic.

I suppose i should find
someone to run my company.

At the risk
of being forward,

I'd like to nominate
myself--Ugh!

You must take over
my empire.

I will remain here
in...

shiny pants.

I'm sure i'll find
my true path here.

Egad! Um...
i don't know, uh...

do you like oysters?

Yes.

I love all nature's
creatures...

now.

Um...ok. Narf!

All: good-Bye!

I can't believe it.

Pinky is now the head

Of one of the world's
most powerful
conglomerates.

Where did he go right?

Oh, brain,

Isn't it exciting
here at zipdyne?

Everyone is so nice,

And you can play games
all day long.

Ha ha ha.

Unh.

This is no time
for games, pinky.

Think of what we can do
with a news empire.

Bend the truth,
distort facts,

Withhold vital
information,

And create our own
puppet government.

You mean
like shari lewis?

Precisely, pinky.

Too late, brain.
Ha ha.

I got rid of all those
news thingies.

You what?!

Pinky,
world news weekly

Is the most influential
magazine in the country.

Oh, it's boring, brain.

That's why
i changed it to

Colorful hairband
magazine.

No.

Pinky, please tell me
you didn't touch

The 24-Hour
news channel.

Of course not, brain.

Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, except that now
it's 24 hours
of jug band music.

You know, i'm surprised
you didn't hear about it,
brain.

It was in all the news--
Oh, ha ha ha.

No, i suppose it wasn't.
Narf!

I don't understand.

I was sure
the all-News network

Would be covering
the election
in liechtenstein.

Whoo! Doggy!

Hey, i'll tell you what.

This skinny fella can
sure enough blow a jug.

Hill, honey, come take
a look at this.

Not now, bill. I'm busy.

Excuse me,
mr. President.

Federal reserve
chairman bluespan
just resigned.

You need to choose
a replacement
right away.

Well, hey! Why don't
we get the fella
who came up with this?

I mean, he could be
chairman of anything.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen
of the press,

I give you the new head
of the federal reserve
board...

pinky.

[Reporters all speaking
at once]

Um, whoa, um...

you, with the pouty face.

Uh, chairman pinky,

What is your philosophy
regarding the nation's

Currency policy?

Um...

i like fruit wigglies.

[Chattering]

And on wall street today,

Fruit wigglies futures
went through the roof

On word that
fed chairman pinky

Had a fondness
for the chewy confections.

How, pinky?

How is it that
my beautifully
crafted plans

To take over the world
never succeed,

While you say
the first thing that
comes into your head

And wind up
changing the nation's
monetary policy?

Well, actually,
i don't say
the first thing

That comes
into my head, brain.

I say the second thing,

Because the first thing
that comes into my head
is usually--

Oh!

A large, painful welt.

Tell me where you get
your ideas, pinky,
so that--

The words feel hot
in my throat--

So that i can be
more like...

you.

Well, hmm, let's see.

I guess i got
the oyster idea

From when you tried
to breed that hypnotic
japanese fish.

And, i suppose,
the shiny pants was like

When you put a huge mirror
at the north pole

To make the sun go
in everyone's eyes.

And that time you tried
to broadcast

The music of rush limbaugh
throughout the world

Gave me
the jug band idea.

Pinky, do you realize
what you're saying?

Yes. You come up with a lot
of silly ideas, brain.

Ha ha ha! Narf!

No, pinky.
Don't you see?

You're saying that all
your ideas were mine.

Yes, you changed
a detail here and there,

But your only
real contribution

Was your sheer dumb luck.

Pinky, are you pondering
what i'm pondering?

I think so, brain,

But if it was
only supposed to be
a 3-Hour tour,

Why did the howells
bring all their money?

Aah!

No, pinky.

We will combine
your luck and my genius

To finish the job of
taking over the world.

First, you'll call
another press conference

And tell the press you
don't like satellites,

Thus lowering
the price of satellites
to mere pennies.

Then i will customize
a satellite

So we can relaunch
my plan

To disable
the snooze alarms

On every clock radio
in the world.

Brilliant, brain.

Then can we do my plan
to go to the u.S. Mint

And print dollars
with bronson pinchot's
face on them?

I make the plans now,
pinky,

And this one can't miss.

There's only one problem.

I'm afraid this satellite

Will only work
on clock radios

With a bandwidth modulation
of 3.2 megahertz.

Is that bad, brain?

Not really, pinky.

You'll just hold
another press conference

To say you like that
type of clock radio,

Thereby
causing everybody
to purchase them.

And to make sure
nothing goes wrong,

I'll be in your ear
the entire time.

Ok, brain.

It might be a tight
squeeze at first,

But it's very roomy
further in.

I wouldn't be
a bit surprised.

Brain: all right, pinky.

Let's begin.

[Whispers] right, brain.

Um, hello, everyone.

I have a very important
announcement to make.

It seems that...

brain: i really like
clock radios

With a bandwidth
modulation
of 3.2 megahertz.

I really like
clock radios with a...

bandwidth modulation...

sandwich population...

no!

I like clock radios
with a bandwidth
modulation...

no, i like, uh, clock radios

With a spanish language
station, uh...

panda bear sensation,

Pants with palpitations,

No! Candlestick relations.
No, no!

Pinky: you dimwit!

Stop it now!
Just stop it!

Pull out the panthom.

Pull out the clear slug.

Why did i come up
with this plan?

I am such an idiot!

I am such an idiot!

Reporters: he just said idiot!

President:
and stay out!

[Screams]

Unh. Unh. Unh.

Hillary: and take this
with you.

Well, pinky--Unh!

Today we've discovered
a force more powerful
than luck or genius.

What's that, brain?

Stupidity.

Good, brain. Zort!

Maybe we can use that
tomorrow night.

Oh? What are we going
to do tomorrow night, pinky?

The same thing we do
every night, brain.

Try and take over the...

uh...

world.
World, yes!

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪

Brain: bobby and karen
are 2 normal kids

Who live in a normal town.

And they have normal
hopes and fears.

Gosh, you have
a keen bike,

But i wonder about
what kind of world

We will live in
in the future.

Brain: said karen.

Jeepers, i hope
the future will be keen.

Brain: said bobby.

But do you think
they can find

A really smart guy
to run the whole world?

Heh heh heh.

Good questions, kids.

Hello, i am the brain,

A genetically altered
lab mouse

Who will soon be

Taking over the world.

This is the world.

Narf!

And this is pinky.

You can tell the difference
between them quite easily.

One is a mass
of inert matter

Hurtling blinding
through the void.

The other is the earth.

Which one
am i again?

Ha ha ha ha.

The one who'll soon
have a large lump

On his small head.

Oh. Narf!

Now, you might ask,

"Brain, why do you want
to take over the world?"

[Clears throat]

[Whispers] now? Ok.

Brain, why do you want
to take over the world?

Thank you, pinky.

Don't mention it.

I won't.

Well, you can
if you want to.

I don't want to!

I'm glad you asked
that spontaneous question,

Which leads us
to the purpose of our film:

To inform our viewers
as to why i want
to take over the world

And the beneficial changes
they can expect when i do.

So join me as we learn...

all about...

brain: let's look in
on a typical suburban
housewife.

Oh, how will i ever
make carrot juice,

Clean my family's
undergarments,

And still have time

To access the information
super-Road thingy.

Narf!

Now, under the benevolent
leadership of me,

The brain,

Science and industry combine

To make life easier
and more efficient

With brainco's stackable

Compu-Juice-A-Matic.

Computer:
you have mail.

Ooh, ha.

Better living through me.

Unh.

I will usher in a new era
of peace and prosperity

Around the world.

Here at the united nations,

We see how difficult it is
for our world leaders

To communicate today.

[Speaking french]

[Speaking turkish]

Pitiful, isn't it?

Under my
global domination,

The world population
will be brought together

By the establishment
of a single language.

Brainish.

Observe the difference.

[Speaks slowly]
pondering?

[Speaks slowly]
yes.

Yes.

Pondering,

Yes.

Believe it or not,

You have just witnessed
a conversation
about the weather,

Ancient greek literature,

And the filmography
of tv's norman fell.

Under my domination,

The world of television
will enter a new era

Of entertainment and economy

As all programming will be
under 30 seconds in length

And limited
to shows about me,

The brain.

Der-Ha ha ha
huh huh huh!

What is the deal
with world
leadership?

They don't really
lead and they're
not...

uh, ships.

Who are
these people?

In a world
dominated by me, the brain,

Classics
of the silver screen

Will be greatly enhanced,

Thanks to my innovations
in computer imaging.

The problems
of 2 little mice

Don't amount to a hill
of food pellets

In this crazy,
mixed-Up world.

You have to think
for the both of us,
brain.

You're getting
on that plane, pinky.

If you don't,

I'll have to hit you
with this pencil.

Maybe not now, but soon,

And for the rest
of your life.

We'll always
have pellets.

In this brain new world,

Vacationers
will reap the benefits
of my dominance.

National monuments...

european capitals...

amusement parks.

He's only chasing me
for my food.

Ha ha ha ha. Narf!

And there will be
ample opportunity

To commune with nature.

In my benevolence,

I will allow 15 minutes
per day of quiet time.

Time for you.

Time for you to meditate

About me...

the brain.

So you see,

Global domination only
sounds like a scary word.

But it's really
only a way to make

[Voice distorts]
the world a better place

To live.

Brain: pinky,
turn off the projector.

Aah!
Quickly, pinky!

Aah. Unh.

Oops. Sorry, brain.

Wonderful. Now
the reel is ruined.

There goes my plan
to distribute this film

To every school
assembly on earth.

Poit! It's still
better than congo

Or anaconda.

Come, pinky.

We must prepare
for tomorrow night.

Why, brain?
What we going to do
tomorrow night?

The same thing
we do every night,
pinky.

[Voice distorts]
try to take over
the world!

♪ they're dinky ♪

♪ they're pinky
and the brain ♪

♪ brain, brain,
brain, brain ♪