02x06 - Broadcast Views
Posted: 03/28/24 20:12
WOMAN: Are you ready?
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪
♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪
♪ Do I look good today? ♪
♪ Today, today ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪
♪ And you want
to see my world ♪
♪ So come and run away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Come follow me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
- No, cheddar's way better
than Swiss.
Honestly.
- Nicole?
- Hi.
- What's wrong?
- Stuff.
- What stuff?
- I--I think I may have gotten
a D on my algebra test.
- You're a straight-A
student.
- Yeah. Those were the days.
- All right, what happened?
- Lance McAlister, Daniel
James, and Harry Matheau,
that's what happened.
[scoffs]
- Are you following this?
- No. And I have an I.Q.
of 177.
- [scoffs]
- How could you not understand
the problem?
The 3 cutest guys
in the ninth grade sitting
all around me,
and I'm supposed to
concentrate on algebra?
- Well, when you're in class,
just focus on the work
and forget about
the cute guys.
- Yeah, like that's possible.
- Well, you better figure out
something,
'cause it's not gonna help
to just drown
your sorrows
in popcorn and Blix.
- Ok, you two give bad advice.
Where's Zoey?
- Hanging out in the boy's dorm
watching Chase and Michael
do their webcast.
- Webcast?
- It's just this little comedy
show they do together
that people can watch online.
- What kind of comedy?
- And we're right now...
- Here on the Chase
and Michael Show...
- My boy Chase will gargle the
National Anthem with coffee.
- While Michael
trims his nose hairs
with a professional
nose hair trimmer.
- Heh.
- And...
- We begin.
[gargling National Anthem]
[coughs]
[coughing]
- Uh, uh, ok.
While I make sure
my buddy Chase here
doesn't choke to death,
please enjoy
this fine cartoon
featuring us...
in toon form.
[Chase coughs]
- ♪ My name is Chase ♪
- ♪ My name is Michael ♪
- ♪ I'm hopping,
I'm hopping up and down ♪
- ♪ I'm hopping, I'm hopping
up and down, up and down ♪
- You all right, man?
- Yeah.
It's just a little coffee
in my lungs.
No biggie.
So, uh, how do you like
the show so far?
- It's funny.
- It could not be worse.
- Can you say one nice thing
to someone once?
- Sure. You look pretty hot
in those jeans.
- You're disgusting.
- Look, I'm just trying to
give these guys
some constructive criticism
so they don't get trashed
in the school paper again.
- Huh?
- This reporter for
The Daily Stingray
reviews our show every week.
- And every time, he slams us.
- Maybe that's why only 7 kids
at PCA watch it.
- 9! Thank you.
- Yeah.
Come on, we're back.
MICHAEL: ♪ It's Michael,
Michael is my name ♪
- ♪ That is Michael
next to me ♪
♪ I am Chase ♪
- Okay, and we're back
with some more of
the Chase and Michael
show.
Logan: Which is lame.
- And that was the voice
of our highly obnoxious roommate
Mr. Logan Reese.
- Say hi to our viewers.
- Wow, I've never said hi to
- Isn't he sweet?
- Oh, and now say hello to
a special friend
of the Chase
and Michael show.
- No, no, no. Come on,
don't, don't, don't--
- Miss Zoey Brooks.
Say hi, Zoey.
- Hi.
- So, Zoey, what should Chase
and I talk about next?
- I don't know. Movies?
- Ooh, yeah.
Talk about how
girls like stupid movies.
- Excuse me?
- So, Michael, what kind of
movies do you like?
- Well, Chase, I mostly
go for--
- What do you mean girls like
stupid movies?
- I think you know what I mean.
- Why don't you two take this
outside, huh?
- All girls want to see are
dumb, sappy love stories.
- Trying to do a show here.
- All you wanna see is stuff
getting blown up.
- That's better than
romantic chick flicks.
- I'd rather see
a romantic chick flick
than a dumb car chase.
- You don't even know what
you're talking about.
- I know exactly what
I'm talking about.
- Guys always pick better
movies than girls.
- No, girls pick way better
movies than guys.
- People want to see action.
They don't want to see 2 idiots
fall in love and go to Paris.
You wouldn't know a good movie
if you saw one.
- You know what?
You are the worst.
- ♪ Don't want to seem
too eager... ♪
- Hey, you gonna
eat that cookie?
- ♪ Do you now?... ♪
- Was that necessary?
- Yes.
- Man, you ruined our show.
- Hey, Zoey started it.
- No, you started it.
- Ok, you both ruined it.
How about that?
- Which is why from now on
when we do our show,
you can't be in the room.
- I live there.
- Yes, but together
Michael and I
can overpower you.
- So you're out.
- Ha ha.
- You too, laughy.
- What?
- Dude.
- She can't come over
while we're doing the show,
either.
She's banned.
For life.
- Aw, come on.
- It's fine. I promise
not to come over
and ruin your little
show again.
- Hey, you guys read today's
Stingray?
- No. How bad did our show
get trashed this time?
- Check it out.
- Ok. Da-da-da-da.
"The usually lame
Chase and Michael show was
actually pretty good yesterday."
- Hey, he called us
pretty good.
- I heard me.
- Keep reading.
- Ok. "The usual silly gags
were replaced with
"a lively, spirited debate
between Zoey Brooks
and Logan Reese."
- Interesting.
ZOEY: What else does it say?
- "The new addition of debates
between Zoey and Logan
make the
Chase and Michael show
"a must-see webcast
here at PCA.
Wednesday afternoons at
ChaseandMichael.com."
- Hey, our show got its first
good review.
- Uh-huh. Too bad I'm not
allowed in our room anymore
while you're doing it.
- Yeah, and too bad
I'm banned for life.
- So, um, Zoey.
- Heh heh, Logan.
- Please be in our show.
- Please.
- ♪ Don't wanna put it all
out there ♪
- Man, if I don't figure out
a way to stop being distracted
by cute guys, I'm gonna flunk
algebra and end up a hobo.
- Would you open to hypnosis?
- Ooh, hypnosis.
- What do you mean?
- Well, once I was in this play
and I had to cry, right?
But I couldn't,
so my acting coach
used this hypnosis technique
to help me cry
whenever I wanted to.
- So you think you can
hypnotize me
to stop being
distracted by cute guys?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's worth a shot.
- Ok, Quinn and I will look up
some different hypnosis
techniques online,
and in a couple
of days we'll...
stop thinking about cute guys!
- Sorry.
- Ugh!
- And welcome back to the Chase
and Michael show.
- And now, for your viewing
enjoyment, we present a new,
ultra-cool, regular feature on
the show, which we call--
- He Says, She Says,
with Zoey Brooks
and Logan Reese.
- Their topic tonight--
would a woman
make a better president of
the United States than a man?
- Hmm.
- Absolutely not.
- You're an idiot.
LOGAN: A woman cannot be
president of the United States.
ZOEY: Name one reason.
LOGAN: Because girls
are too emotional.
Every time she gets a pimple,
she'll cry, then start
a w*r with Switzerland.
- Ok, that is
the stupidest thing
I've ever heard anyone say.
- Well, pimples do
make me upset.
But I'm not gonna blow up
Switzerland.
- Quinn, hurry up and hook up
your laptop so we can all see.
- I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.
Stupid U.S.B. port.
ZOEY: Look, girls may be more
emotional than guys,
but we're way less violent.
LOGAN: And your point is?
ZOEY: That if a woman was
president,
maybe we'd be less
likely to go to w*r.
LOGAN: What's wrong with w*r?
ZOEY: Oh, my God.
- Ok, Logan,
your closing argument.
- Guys make better leaders,
and everybody knows it.
- Zoey, final thoughts.
- A woman would make a better
president, and Logan's a moron.
- Why don't you just admit
that you're freakishly
attracted to me?
ZOEY: Fine, I admit it.
So, you wanna make out?
- Sure.
- Good. Pucker up.
Pfft!
- Oh!
Hey, this is not over!
- And that concludes today's
segment of He Says, She Says.
- We'll be right back with more
of the Chase and Michael show.
- Man, Zoey and Logan
were fired up.
- Yeah, man.
They were off the hizzy.
I'm sorry.
Hey, check out how many
people are watching us online.
- 264 people?!
- Uh-huh.
- We rock, dude.
- Yep. And I think these
Zoey-Logan debates
are gonna make the kids
here at PCA really think,
you know?
- Yeah.
It might really get people
talking.
[all shouting at once]
- Ok, ok, ok! Guys! Kids!
Come on! Please, please stop!
[overlapping shouting]
I am in charge here!
Please take your seats.
- Bender!
- Dean Rivers.
- Having a little trouble
controlling your class?
- Thing is, uh,
they got all whipped up
about this debate they saw
last night on a webcast.
- Whose webcast?
- Chase Matthews
and Michael Barret.
- How can a webcast--
- Dean Rivers. Dean Rivers,
some seventh grade boys
and girls are fighting down
by the gym.
- Fighting about what?
- Some webcast they saw
last night.
- You get Chase Matthews
and Michael Barret
down in my office
right now.
- Yes, sir.
- And you,
get your class under control.
- Consider that done.
[students shouting]
- Your little webcast has
disrupted the entire campus
of Pacific Coast Academy.
- Sir, we were just--
- Be quiet!
- You should be quiet.
- I'll be quiet.
- We don't need this kind of
trouble here at PCA.
So I'm putting a stop to it.
- And by "a stop" you mean?
- Your webcast is canceled.
- What?
- That's censorship.
- Yeah, we have a right
to free speech.
- You can't just cancel
our webcast.
He just canceled our webcast.
- Yep.
- Chase?
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
- Lying here.
On a hammock.
- Will you turn over
and talk to me?
- No.
- Why not?
- I'm depressed.
- Ok.
Boo.
- Hello.
- Want a grape?
- Feed me?
- I'm sorry Dean Rivers
canceled your show.
- Yeah, me, too.
- I feel like it's my fault.
- Come on. Before you and Logan
came on our webcast,
only, like,
We almost hit 300 last night
because of you guys.
I can't believe Dean Rivers
just canceled us.
- I know. It's censorship.
- Huh. That's what we told him.
Grape.
Oh, hey.
- A DVD?
- Yeah, I burned our last 2
shows on there for you.
It's good stuff, especially
you and Logan.
You should watch it.
- [sighs]
- Um, to watch it, you know,
you have to put it in a machine
hooked up to a TV set.
- Thank you, Chase.
- Nicole, do you hear me?
If you hear me, respond.
- I hear you.
- Ok, she's ready.
Go for it.
- Right.
Nicole,
listen to me carefully.
- Listen to her carefully.
- [clears throat]
In your algebra class,
there are many cute guys.
- So cute.
- But now when you look
at them,
you won't see them
for who they are.
You will see them as...
your grandfather.
- Her grandfather?
- My grandfather.
Paw-paw.
- Paw-paw?
- Ew.
- Ugh.
- She's right over there.
- Ok. Thanks very much.
Excuse me.
Zoey Brooks?
- Yeah.
- Hi, I'm Jesse Freeman,
producer over at K-Coast 7.
- No way. Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- Wait. K-Coast the TV station?
- Yeah. You watch some of
our shows?
- No, they're lame.
- Dude.
- Yeah. Dude.
- It's ok.
I'm not offended...
that much.
- So, you got the DVD?
- I did.
- What DVD?
- The one you gave me.
- You sent him the DVD?
- Yes, we already covered that.
So, what'd you think?
- I thought the show
was really terrific and that
it might be a good way
for K-Coast to build up
our teen audience.
- On TV?
- Mm-hmm.
You'd be seen by an audience
of over 50,000 people.
- Uh, deal.
- Deal?
- Yes, simple word. 4 letters.
- Now be quiet.
- Great. Just have a teacher
bring you down to the studio
at 4:30 on Monday.
I'll take care of the rest.
Sound good?
Zoey: Sounds awesome.
- Well then, I'll see ya Monday.
- Yeah, you will.
JESSE: All right.
- Bye.
Ok, you are amazing.
- Yes, I could kiss you.
- Me, too.
- Ok, you know what?
I'm sure
we'd all enjoy kissing Zoey,
but we have a TV show to plan.
- Yeah!
LOGAN: Right!
- Drinks.
- Drinks.
- I got my drink.
- So to solve the problem,
you need to multiply both sides
by the square root of
the original figure.
- Nicole, come give Grandpa
a big ole hug.
- Ohh!
- And then we take
the "y" coordinate.
- Nicole, come help Grandpa
do his laundry.
- Ohh!
- Nicole, go get Grandpa
his special ointment.
- Ugh.
- Nicole.
Nicole?
- Um, yes?
- Are you distracted?
- Nope. Not anymore.
Let's just
focus on algebra.
- So as I was saying...
- A real TV studio, man.
Can you believe it?
- Hey, guys.
Welcome to K-Coast.
- Hey, man.
- Listen, I'm gonna need
my hair and makeup done.
- We have people for that.
- Good.
- So, uh, where should
we set up our stuff?
- What stuff?
- We brought some props
for the comedy bits we do.
- Um...I guess I wasn't clear
when we talked back at PCA.
- Not clear about what?
- Well, uh, we're only
interested
in putting Zoey
and Logan on K-Coast.
- But it's the Chase
and Michael Show.
- And we're kinda
Chase and Michael.
- Michael.
- Chase.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Listen, I'm really sorry.
- Perfect.
- Ok, you know what,
we're not interested.
- Um, yes, we are.
- Not without Chase
and Michael.
- This face belongs on
television.
- No, there's no way--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Zoey, come here, come here.
- We're not doing this without
you and Michael.
- Look, that's really sweet,
but they don't want us.
- But it's your guys' show.
- No. Dean Rivers
canceled our show.
But you guys have a really
cool shot here.
And I want you to take it.
- First positions.
- Roll camera.
- Rolling.
- Speed.
- 7, 6.
- Has it started yet?
- It's about to.
MAN: And now live
in the afternoon,
He Says, She Says,
with your hosts,
Zoey Brooks and Logan Reese.
- Whoo!
Oh, my God! There they are!
- Where's Chase and Michael?
LOGAN: Hello. My name
is Logan Reese.
ZOEY: I'm Zoey Brooks.
- And today we're gonna talk
about some interesting topics.
First, girls and sports.
Now, I think it's fine
if girls want to have
their own little sports teams,
but they should not be allowed
to play on the guys' teams.
Zoey?
- Yeah, you're right.
GIRL: What?
GIRL: What?
- Huh?
- I said you're right.
LOGAN: Ok.
Let's move on to our
next topic, then.
- Ok.
LOGAN: Oh, yeah.
Ordering at restaurants.
I say girls take
way too long to order food.
Ew, I'm a girl.
I'll have a chopped salad.
But I want
the lettuce on the side.
[grumbling]
Guys are just like,
give me a cheeseburger.
End of story.
Zoey.
- I agree.
- What's she doing?
- Why isn't Zoey fighting back?
- Ok. For our next topic,
let's--let's talk about...
eating kittens.
I feel people should
eat more kittens.
Little itty bitty baby kitty
cats for breakfast.
You agree with that,
Zoey? Hmm?
- You wanna know what
I'd like to talk about?
- Yes.
- Censorship.
- Good. What's censorship?
- Censorship is when someone
stops you
from saying what you
wanna say.
And that's what happened to my
friends Chase and Michael.
- Uh, Zoey.
- Camera lady,
show Chase and Michael.
- Hello.
- Howdy do?
- Chase and Michael go to
Pacific Coast Academy with me,
and they had this really cool
webcast.
- Zoey--
- Shh.
And the Dean banned it,
and I say that's censorship,
which is wrong.
And if you agree,
go to PCA
and tell Dean Rivers
how you feel about censorship.
[all cheering]
- Go Zoey!
- Whoo!
- And that's a commercial.
- What was that?
- Yeah, are you insane?
- Zoey, that was great.
You just told like 50,000 people
what Dean Rivers did.
- I know.
- Do you realize
what's gonna happen?
[overlapping shouting]
- Will you people
get out of here?
Who allowed you on this campus?
Do I have to call the police?
- Dean Rivers,
I have Zoey and Logan here.
- Send them in.
Zoey and Logan.
- Hi, Dean Rivers.
- How you doing?
- How am I doing?
Look what you've done!
Those are tomatoes!
That is a waste of lycopene.
- Well, people get really upset
about censorship.
- Just make them go away.
- I'm sure they'll leave
if you let Chase and Michael
have their show back.
- No. I will not be pushed
around.
- Then you better tell them.
- Oh, I'll tell them.
All right, you people.
I am in charge of this school,
and Chase and Michael cannot
have their show back!
[overlapping shouting]
Tell Chase and Michael they can
have their show back.
- Seriously?
- Seriously.
- We got our show back! Oh!
- Zoey!
- Hey.
- You're back.
- Zoey, you were so awesome
on the show today.
- Thanks.
- Nicole, Harry Matheau
walking this way.
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, Nicole.
Me and some guys are gonna
catch a movie on campus later.
You wanna come?
- Well, yeah. I'd...
- Nicole, help me take out
my teeth.
- Ew!
- [laughing]
- Later.
- What'd I say?
WOMAN: ♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪
♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪
♪ Don't walk away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
[ding]
MAN: Mmm.
CHASE: ♪ I am hopping up
and down, up and down ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪
♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪
♪ Do I look good today? ♪
♪ Today, today ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪
♪ And you want
to see my world ♪
♪ So come and run away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Come follow me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
- No, cheddar's way better
than Swiss.
Honestly.
- Nicole?
- Hi.
- What's wrong?
- Stuff.
- What stuff?
- I--I think I may have gotten
a D on my algebra test.
- You're a straight-A
student.
- Yeah. Those were the days.
- All right, what happened?
- Lance McAlister, Daniel
James, and Harry Matheau,
that's what happened.
[scoffs]
- Are you following this?
- No. And I have an I.Q.
of 177.
- [scoffs]
- How could you not understand
the problem?
The 3 cutest guys
in the ninth grade sitting
all around me,
and I'm supposed to
concentrate on algebra?
- Well, when you're in class,
just focus on the work
and forget about
the cute guys.
- Yeah, like that's possible.
- Well, you better figure out
something,
'cause it's not gonna help
to just drown
your sorrows
in popcorn and Blix.
- Ok, you two give bad advice.
Where's Zoey?
- Hanging out in the boy's dorm
watching Chase and Michael
do their webcast.
- Webcast?
- It's just this little comedy
show they do together
that people can watch online.
- What kind of comedy?
- And we're right now...
- Here on the Chase
and Michael Show...
- My boy Chase will gargle the
National Anthem with coffee.
- While Michael
trims his nose hairs
with a professional
nose hair trimmer.
- Heh.
- And...
- We begin.
[gargling National Anthem]
[coughs]
[coughing]
- Uh, uh, ok.
While I make sure
my buddy Chase here
doesn't choke to death,
please enjoy
this fine cartoon
featuring us...
in toon form.
[Chase coughs]
- ♪ My name is Chase ♪
- ♪ My name is Michael ♪
- ♪ I'm hopping,
I'm hopping up and down ♪
- ♪ I'm hopping, I'm hopping
up and down, up and down ♪
- You all right, man?
- Yeah.
It's just a little coffee
in my lungs.
No biggie.
So, uh, how do you like
the show so far?
- It's funny.
- It could not be worse.
- Can you say one nice thing
to someone once?
- Sure. You look pretty hot
in those jeans.
- You're disgusting.
- Look, I'm just trying to
give these guys
some constructive criticism
so they don't get trashed
in the school paper again.
- Huh?
- This reporter for
The Daily Stingray
reviews our show every week.
- And every time, he slams us.
- Maybe that's why only 7 kids
at PCA watch it.
- 9! Thank you.
- Yeah.
Come on, we're back.
MICHAEL: ♪ It's Michael,
Michael is my name ♪
- ♪ That is Michael
next to me ♪
♪ I am Chase ♪
- Okay, and we're back
with some more of
the Chase and Michael
show.
Logan: Which is lame.
- And that was the voice
of our highly obnoxious roommate
Mr. Logan Reese.
- Say hi to our viewers.
- Wow, I've never said hi to
- Isn't he sweet?
- Oh, and now say hello to
a special friend
of the Chase
and Michael show.
- No, no, no. Come on,
don't, don't, don't--
- Miss Zoey Brooks.
Say hi, Zoey.
- Hi.
- So, Zoey, what should Chase
and I talk about next?
- I don't know. Movies?
- Ooh, yeah.
Talk about how
girls like stupid movies.
- Excuse me?
- So, Michael, what kind of
movies do you like?
- Well, Chase, I mostly
go for--
- What do you mean girls like
stupid movies?
- I think you know what I mean.
- Why don't you two take this
outside, huh?
- All girls want to see are
dumb, sappy love stories.
- Trying to do a show here.
- All you wanna see is stuff
getting blown up.
- That's better than
romantic chick flicks.
- I'd rather see
a romantic chick flick
than a dumb car chase.
- You don't even know what
you're talking about.
- I know exactly what
I'm talking about.
- Guys always pick better
movies than girls.
- No, girls pick way better
movies than guys.
- People want to see action.
They don't want to see 2 idiots
fall in love and go to Paris.
You wouldn't know a good movie
if you saw one.
- You know what?
You are the worst.
- ♪ Don't want to seem
too eager... ♪
- Hey, you gonna
eat that cookie?
- ♪ Do you now?... ♪
- Was that necessary?
- Yes.
- Man, you ruined our show.
- Hey, Zoey started it.
- No, you started it.
- Ok, you both ruined it.
How about that?
- Which is why from now on
when we do our show,
you can't be in the room.
- I live there.
- Yes, but together
Michael and I
can overpower you.
- So you're out.
- Ha ha.
- You too, laughy.
- What?
- Dude.
- She can't come over
while we're doing the show,
either.
She's banned.
For life.
- Aw, come on.
- It's fine. I promise
not to come over
and ruin your little
show again.
- Hey, you guys read today's
Stingray?
- No. How bad did our show
get trashed this time?
- Check it out.
- Ok. Da-da-da-da.
"The usually lame
Chase and Michael show was
actually pretty good yesterday."
- Hey, he called us
pretty good.
- I heard me.
- Keep reading.
- Ok. "The usual silly gags
were replaced with
"a lively, spirited debate
between Zoey Brooks
and Logan Reese."
- Interesting.
ZOEY: What else does it say?
- "The new addition of debates
between Zoey and Logan
make the
Chase and Michael show
"a must-see webcast
here at PCA.
Wednesday afternoons at
ChaseandMichael.com."
- Hey, our show got its first
good review.
- Uh-huh. Too bad I'm not
allowed in our room anymore
while you're doing it.
- Yeah, and too bad
I'm banned for life.
- So, um, Zoey.
- Heh heh, Logan.
- Please be in our show.
- Please.
- ♪ Don't wanna put it all
out there ♪
- Man, if I don't figure out
a way to stop being distracted
by cute guys, I'm gonna flunk
algebra and end up a hobo.
- Would you open to hypnosis?
- Ooh, hypnosis.
- What do you mean?
- Well, once I was in this play
and I had to cry, right?
But I couldn't,
so my acting coach
used this hypnosis technique
to help me cry
whenever I wanted to.
- So you think you can
hypnotize me
to stop being
distracted by cute guys?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's worth a shot.
- Ok, Quinn and I will look up
some different hypnosis
techniques online,
and in a couple
of days we'll...
stop thinking about cute guys!
- Sorry.
- Ugh!
- And welcome back to the Chase
and Michael show.
- And now, for your viewing
enjoyment, we present a new,
ultra-cool, regular feature on
the show, which we call--
- He Says, She Says,
with Zoey Brooks
and Logan Reese.
- Their topic tonight--
would a woman
make a better president of
the United States than a man?
- Hmm.
- Absolutely not.
- You're an idiot.
LOGAN: A woman cannot be
president of the United States.
ZOEY: Name one reason.
LOGAN: Because girls
are too emotional.
Every time she gets a pimple,
she'll cry, then start
a w*r with Switzerland.
- Ok, that is
the stupidest thing
I've ever heard anyone say.
- Well, pimples do
make me upset.
But I'm not gonna blow up
Switzerland.
- Quinn, hurry up and hook up
your laptop so we can all see.
- I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.
Stupid U.S.B. port.
ZOEY: Look, girls may be more
emotional than guys,
but we're way less violent.
LOGAN: And your point is?
ZOEY: That if a woman was
president,
maybe we'd be less
likely to go to w*r.
LOGAN: What's wrong with w*r?
ZOEY: Oh, my God.
- Ok, Logan,
your closing argument.
- Guys make better leaders,
and everybody knows it.
- Zoey, final thoughts.
- A woman would make a better
president, and Logan's a moron.
- Why don't you just admit
that you're freakishly
attracted to me?
ZOEY: Fine, I admit it.
So, you wanna make out?
- Sure.
- Good. Pucker up.
Pfft!
- Oh!
Hey, this is not over!
- And that concludes today's
segment of He Says, She Says.
- We'll be right back with more
of the Chase and Michael show.
- Man, Zoey and Logan
were fired up.
- Yeah, man.
They were off the hizzy.
I'm sorry.
Hey, check out how many
people are watching us online.
- 264 people?!
- Uh-huh.
- We rock, dude.
- Yep. And I think these
Zoey-Logan debates
are gonna make the kids
here at PCA really think,
you know?
- Yeah.
It might really get people
talking.
[all shouting at once]
- Ok, ok, ok! Guys! Kids!
Come on! Please, please stop!
[overlapping shouting]
I am in charge here!
Please take your seats.
- Bender!
- Dean Rivers.
- Having a little trouble
controlling your class?
- Thing is, uh,
they got all whipped up
about this debate they saw
last night on a webcast.
- Whose webcast?
- Chase Matthews
and Michael Barret.
- How can a webcast--
- Dean Rivers. Dean Rivers,
some seventh grade boys
and girls are fighting down
by the gym.
- Fighting about what?
- Some webcast they saw
last night.
- You get Chase Matthews
and Michael Barret
down in my office
right now.
- Yes, sir.
- And you,
get your class under control.
- Consider that done.
[students shouting]
- Your little webcast has
disrupted the entire campus
of Pacific Coast Academy.
- Sir, we were just--
- Be quiet!
- You should be quiet.
- I'll be quiet.
- We don't need this kind of
trouble here at PCA.
So I'm putting a stop to it.
- And by "a stop" you mean?
- Your webcast is canceled.
- What?
- That's censorship.
- Yeah, we have a right
to free speech.
- You can't just cancel
our webcast.
He just canceled our webcast.
- Yep.
- Chase?
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
- Lying here.
On a hammock.
- Will you turn over
and talk to me?
- No.
- Why not?
- I'm depressed.
- Ok.
Boo.
- Hello.
- Want a grape?
- Feed me?
- I'm sorry Dean Rivers
canceled your show.
- Yeah, me, too.
- I feel like it's my fault.
- Come on. Before you and Logan
came on our webcast,
only, like,
We almost hit 300 last night
because of you guys.
I can't believe Dean Rivers
just canceled us.
- I know. It's censorship.
- Huh. That's what we told him.
Grape.
Oh, hey.
- A DVD?
- Yeah, I burned our last 2
shows on there for you.
It's good stuff, especially
you and Logan.
You should watch it.
- [sighs]
- Um, to watch it, you know,
you have to put it in a machine
hooked up to a TV set.
- Thank you, Chase.
- Nicole, do you hear me?
If you hear me, respond.
- I hear you.
- Ok, she's ready.
Go for it.
- Right.
Nicole,
listen to me carefully.
- Listen to her carefully.
- [clears throat]
In your algebra class,
there are many cute guys.
- So cute.
- But now when you look
at them,
you won't see them
for who they are.
You will see them as...
your grandfather.
- Her grandfather?
- My grandfather.
Paw-paw.
- Paw-paw?
- Ew.
- Ugh.
- She's right over there.
- Ok. Thanks very much.
Excuse me.
Zoey Brooks?
- Yeah.
- Hi, I'm Jesse Freeman,
producer over at K-Coast 7.
- No way. Really?
- Mm-hmm.
- Wait. K-Coast the TV station?
- Yeah. You watch some of
our shows?
- No, they're lame.
- Dude.
- Yeah. Dude.
- It's ok.
I'm not offended...
that much.
- So, you got the DVD?
- I did.
- What DVD?
- The one you gave me.
- You sent him the DVD?
- Yes, we already covered that.
So, what'd you think?
- I thought the show
was really terrific and that
it might be a good way
for K-Coast to build up
our teen audience.
- On TV?
- Mm-hmm.
You'd be seen by an audience
of over 50,000 people.
- Uh, deal.
- Deal?
- Yes, simple word. 4 letters.
- Now be quiet.
- Great. Just have a teacher
bring you down to the studio
at 4:30 on Monday.
I'll take care of the rest.
Sound good?
Zoey: Sounds awesome.
- Well then, I'll see ya Monday.
- Yeah, you will.
JESSE: All right.
- Bye.
Ok, you are amazing.
- Yes, I could kiss you.
- Me, too.
- Ok, you know what?
I'm sure
we'd all enjoy kissing Zoey,
but we have a TV show to plan.
- Yeah!
LOGAN: Right!
- Drinks.
- Drinks.
- I got my drink.
- So to solve the problem,
you need to multiply both sides
by the square root of
the original figure.
- Nicole, come give Grandpa
a big ole hug.
- Ohh!
- And then we take
the "y" coordinate.
- Nicole, come help Grandpa
do his laundry.
- Ohh!
- Nicole, go get Grandpa
his special ointment.
- Ugh.
- Nicole.
Nicole?
- Um, yes?
- Are you distracted?
- Nope. Not anymore.
Let's just
focus on algebra.
- So as I was saying...
- A real TV studio, man.
Can you believe it?
- Hey, guys.
Welcome to K-Coast.
- Hey, man.
- Listen, I'm gonna need
my hair and makeup done.
- We have people for that.
- Good.
- So, uh, where should
we set up our stuff?
- What stuff?
- We brought some props
for the comedy bits we do.
- Um...I guess I wasn't clear
when we talked back at PCA.
- Not clear about what?
- Well, uh, we're only
interested
in putting Zoey
and Logan on K-Coast.
- But it's the Chase
and Michael Show.
- And we're kinda
Chase and Michael.
- Michael.
- Chase.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Listen, I'm really sorry.
- Perfect.
- Ok, you know what,
we're not interested.
- Um, yes, we are.
- Not without Chase
and Michael.
- This face belongs on
television.
- No, there's no way--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Zoey, come here, come here.
- We're not doing this without
you and Michael.
- Look, that's really sweet,
but they don't want us.
- But it's your guys' show.
- No. Dean Rivers
canceled our show.
But you guys have a really
cool shot here.
And I want you to take it.
- First positions.
- Roll camera.
- Rolling.
- Speed.
- 7, 6.
- Has it started yet?
- It's about to.
MAN: And now live
in the afternoon,
He Says, She Says,
with your hosts,
Zoey Brooks and Logan Reese.
- Whoo!
Oh, my God! There they are!
- Where's Chase and Michael?
LOGAN: Hello. My name
is Logan Reese.
ZOEY: I'm Zoey Brooks.
- And today we're gonna talk
about some interesting topics.
First, girls and sports.
Now, I think it's fine
if girls want to have
their own little sports teams,
but they should not be allowed
to play on the guys' teams.
Zoey?
- Yeah, you're right.
GIRL: What?
GIRL: What?
- Huh?
- I said you're right.
LOGAN: Ok.
Let's move on to our
next topic, then.
- Ok.
LOGAN: Oh, yeah.
Ordering at restaurants.
I say girls take
way too long to order food.
Ew, I'm a girl.
I'll have a chopped salad.
But I want
the lettuce on the side.
[grumbling]
Guys are just like,
give me a cheeseburger.
End of story.
Zoey.
- I agree.
- What's she doing?
- Why isn't Zoey fighting back?
- Ok. For our next topic,
let's--let's talk about...
eating kittens.
I feel people should
eat more kittens.
Little itty bitty baby kitty
cats for breakfast.
You agree with that,
Zoey? Hmm?
- You wanna know what
I'd like to talk about?
- Yes.
- Censorship.
- Good. What's censorship?
- Censorship is when someone
stops you
from saying what you
wanna say.
And that's what happened to my
friends Chase and Michael.
- Uh, Zoey.
- Camera lady,
show Chase and Michael.
- Hello.
- Howdy do?
- Chase and Michael go to
Pacific Coast Academy with me,
and they had this really cool
webcast.
- Zoey--
- Shh.
And the Dean banned it,
and I say that's censorship,
which is wrong.
And if you agree,
go to PCA
and tell Dean Rivers
how you feel about censorship.
[all cheering]
- Go Zoey!
- Whoo!
- And that's a commercial.
- What was that?
- Yeah, are you insane?
- Zoey, that was great.
You just told like 50,000 people
what Dean Rivers did.
- I know.
- Do you realize
what's gonna happen?
[overlapping shouting]
- Will you people
get out of here?
Who allowed you on this campus?
Do I have to call the police?
- Dean Rivers,
I have Zoey and Logan here.
- Send them in.
Zoey and Logan.
- Hi, Dean Rivers.
- How you doing?
- How am I doing?
Look what you've done!
Those are tomatoes!
That is a waste of lycopene.
- Well, people get really upset
about censorship.
- Just make them go away.
- I'm sure they'll leave
if you let Chase and Michael
have their show back.
- No. I will not be pushed
around.
- Then you better tell them.
- Oh, I'll tell them.
All right, you people.
I am in charge of this school,
and Chase and Michael cannot
have their show back!
[overlapping shouting]
Tell Chase and Michael they can
have their show back.
- Seriously?
- Seriously.
- We got our show back! Oh!
- Zoey!
- Hey.
- You're back.
- Zoey, you were so awesome
on the show today.
- Thanks.
- Nicole, Harry Matheau
walking this way.
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, Nicole.
Me and some guys are gonna
catch a movie on campus later.
You wanna come?
- Well, yeah. I'd...
- Nicole, help me take out
my teeth.
- Ew!
- [laughing]
- Later.
- What'd I say?
WOMAN: ♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪
♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪
♪ Don't walk away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
[ding]
MAN: Mmm.
CHASE: ♪ I am hopping up
and down, up and down ♪