03x23 - Goodbye Zoey?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Zoey 101". Aired: January 9, 2005 – May 2, 2008.*
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Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.
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03x23 - Goodbye Zoey?

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WOMAN: Are you ready?

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪

♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪

♪ Do I look good today? ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

ZOEY: Dear grandma and grandpa,

sorry it's been a while
since I've written.

My roommate, Quinn,
spilled some chemical

on my laptop

and it melted my keyboard.

But I just got it fixed,

so I can type again, yay.

Everything at PCA
is going great.

My grades are up
from last semester.

But the most fun thing
going on here right now is

the PCA volleyball tournament.

My team is me,
my two roommates,

Lola and Quinn, and three

of our best guy friends,

Chase, Michael, and Logan.

Well, I wouldn't say

Logan's really a friend,

but he's good at volleyball,

and we needed a sixth player.

Anyway, we've been practicing

for the past couple of weeks.

Chase is pretty good,

but he kind of
spazzes out sometimes.

Lola?
- Ow.

ZOEY: Not our best player,

but she dresses really cute.

- Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!

- Michael's good,

but a little bit of a show-off.

- Yeah.

ZOEY: Quinn turns
into a volleyball animal.

- [screams]

Yes.
- No way.

ZOEY: And Logan?

I think Logan just likes

having his shirt off.

- Logan?
- What are you doing?

- You were supposed to hit that.
- Are you stupid?

- Which brings us
to photosynthesis.

Using sugar, light,

and carbon dioxide,

plants are able to produce

the energy they need

to sustain life.

Now the by-product

of this biochemical reaction

is oxygen, which is good for us,

because without oxygen,

we'd all die
slow and painful deaths.

[knocking]

One moment.

Zoey, a note for you.

- Thanks.

- Now, any questions so far?

- Oh, my God!

- Zoey?
- I'm sorry.

My parents are here.
- Here at PCA?

- Yeah, can I be excused?
- Well, I--

I was just about to go over--
- Bye!

WOMAN: ♪ I'm sorry
I've got to go ♪

♪ I thought I should
just let you know ♪

♪ And someday ♪

♪ You'll learn to grow ♪

♪ It's obvious ♪

♪ Let's end this ♪

- Wait, over here!

Go that way, go.

WOMAN: ♪ You're searching
for a life of quality ♪

- Hi!

- Hey, baby.

- Oh, my God, you're here.

- We missed you so much.
- What are you guys doing here?

Why didn't you tell me
you were coming?

Mom, what did you do
to your hair?

Why aren't you answering
my questions?

- 'Cause you're not taking
any pauses.

- Why are you here?

- Well, we have a little news.

- Are you having a baby?
Mom.

- No.
- No.

No babies.
No babies, right?

- No.
- Okay.

- Then what's the news?

- Wait, where's your brother?

- I don't know.
Probably in class.

- All right,
well, let's go find him,

you can show us your dorm,
and we'll all talk.

- Okay.

England?
- England?

- Uh-huh.
- I'm helping my company

open up a new London office.

MOM: So, we need to be there

for the next couple of years.

- Wow, that's awesome.

- Way to be, Dad.

- Thanks, pretty cool, huh?

- Yeah, except you guys

are gonna be so far away.

- Maybe not.

Do you want to come with us?

- Covington Preparatory School?

- Rated one
of the top five prep schools

in the world.

- And only a half-hour drive

from where your mom and I
are gonna be living.

- So, you want us to leave PCA?

- I can't leave PCA.

I'm seeing someone.

- Who?
- Katie Velasquez.

I finally asked her out.

Hi, Katie, I was wondering

if maybe you wanted to catch

a movie with me this weekend?

[laughter]

- Yeah.
I'm not sure she's into you.

- And she never will be

if I leave PCA.

- Look, we don't want you guys

to feel pressured to do this.

- Just read the brochures,

check out Covington prep online.

- And let us know
what you want to do.

- You're leaving PCA?

- I didn't say that.

- You're thinking
about leaving PCA?

- Well, kind of, maybe.

- Can I have your jet-x?

- Obnoxious.
- Ow.

Ow. Well,
if she's not gonna be here.

- Doh!

- Zoey, you can't be serious

about this.

- Look, I haven't decided.

- How can you move to London,

you love PCA.

- Of course I do, I just--

- She might love
Covington prep too.

ZOEY: Yeah, I mean, it's--

LOGAN: It's supposed to be
one of the best

boarding schools
in the world.

- I know.
I looked it up online.

MICHAEL: Oh, online?

You can't believe
everything you read online,

'cause I read,
if you a drop a peanut

in a glass of lemonade,
it explodes.

Well, guess what.

It didn't.

Think about that.

- Listen, it's not that
I want to leave PCA.

- A, it's that
she's being offered

this amazing opportunity.

- Right, and that's why
I want to talk to you guys

about this first.

- What school
could possibly be better

than PCA?

- Covington's more expensive
than PCA.

- The peanut just sank.

- How many kids get a chance

to go study in London?

LOLA: Who cares?
- This isn't helping.

- Well, what are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna go ask Chase.

- Chase doesn't know
about this yet?

- No, and his opinion
means everything to me.

- Well, why haven't
you asked him yet?

- 'Cause, you know,

we're really close friends,

and it's just hard to tell him

I might be leaving.

- Yeah, but you
better go talk to him.

- You're his best friend.

- Excuse me?

- His female best friend.

- All right then.

- What about me?

- You're my female best friend.

- You're diseased.

- I got to talk to Chase.

- Yeah.
And do whatever Chase says.

- You know
he's gonna tell her to stay.

- Exactly.

- Maybe walnuts

and pink lemonade.

- Well, yeah,
a network anchorman

probably pulls down
between three

and five million a year.

So by the time I'm 27,
I figure--

- Hey, you want a story

for the "PCA news?"

- Okay, for the billionth time,

I'm not doing a story

about cotton swabs.

- No.

Zoey Brooks may be leaving PCA

to go to a boarding school

in London.

- London?
Who's your source?

- Zoey Brooks.

And one day, you will do a story

on cotton swabs

because the public

will demand it.

- Wait, when is Zoey leaving?

- Where's Zoey going?

- She's leaving PCA.

- To go where?

- Some boarding school

in London.

- That's in England.

- Hey, dude,
did you b*at Norkin?

- 6-1, 6-0.

- Man, Norkin's the worst.

- I know, right?

- Oh, hey, when's Zoey leaving?

- Leaving what?

- I heard
she's bailing out of PCA

to go to some fancy prep school

in London.

- Zoey Brooks?

- That's what I heard.

- Yeah, I don't think so.

I think you got the wrong girl.

- Maybe.

- Later, man.

Del Figgs.

- Hey.

Can you keep down the racket?

- What?

- Keep down the racket.

I made a joke.

- You sure?

- No.

So, what do you think
about Zoey?

- What about her?

- Leaving PCA?

Moving to London?

- Okay.

Where did you hear this?

- Everywhere.
I heard it from, like,

three different people.

Zoey didn't tell you?

- No, she didn't.

MAN: ♪ I hear the wind
begin to blow ♪

[knocking]

ZOEY: Chase.

Chase, you in there?

- Hiya.

- Hey, you got a sec?

- For you?

Sure.

- Good.
'Cause there's something

I got to talk to you about.

- Oh, yeah? What's that?

- Is everything okay?

- Everything's awesome.

- Okay, see,

my parents are moving to England

for a while, and well,

there's this boarding school

near London called Covington.

- Oh, Covington,
that's supposed

to be a really amazing school.

Wow, that's really cool

that you get to go there.

- Well, see,
I wanted to talk to you--

- When are you leavin'?

- Could you stop
throwing darts?

- No, I got to tune up,

but keep going, I'm listening.

- Well, I just wanted
to talk to you about this.

- Oh, well, you know,
you should probably

get some warm clothes.

The weather in England's
not like California.

You should get a big coat.

Oh, and some sweaters,

maybe some heavy socks.

- That's all you have to say?

- Oh, yeah.
They drive on the left

in England,
so be careful

crossing the street.

- Thanks.

Appreciate the advice.

- Anytime.

MICHAEL: Okay, everybody ready?

All right.

You people
might want to step back,

the blast
could be seriously dangerous.

- Pass the salt.

- Oh, man.

- Oh, hey, Zo.
- No lunch?

- They got
those little pot pies today.

- I'm going.

- Then you better hurry.

The pot pies are really popular.

- I mean, to London.

I told my parents I'm gonna go.

- You're leaving PCA?

[boom]

LOLA: Hurry.

Come in, come in, come in.

Okay, what are we gonna do?

We can't let Zoey leave.

- Wait, where's Chase?

- He said he was busy.

- Does he realize
Zoey's leaving PCA forever?

- You're the one who told her
studying abroad

could be awesome.

- So, I'm not allowed
one stupid comment

every five years.

- And this is your fault too.
- How?

- Why'd you have to tell Zoey
that Covington's one

of the best boarding schools
in the world?

- I don't want Zoey to leave.
- Oh, since when?

- Zoey needs to stay at PCA,

'cause the day is gonna come

when she realizes

she wants to make out with me.

- Yeah,
when a piano falls on her head.

- You're gonna want me
one day too.

- Look, stop playing.

We have to come up with a plan

to talk Zoey out

of going to London.

- Michael,
what are you thinking?

- I say we let Zoey do this.

- Michael?
- What?

- Dude?
- Come on.

It couldn't have been easy

for Zoey to decide to leave.

I mean, we all know

she loves PCA and us,

but getting to go to school

in England?

That could be
a really cool thing for her.

And what kind of friends are we

if we make her feel bad
about this

by trying to talk her out of it?

- Man, I have a perfect nose.

What?

- Hey.
- What's up?

- Where you been?

- Here.

Want to play?

- Not really.

You upset?

- No, check it out,

I'm on level 39.

I'm dominating this game.

- No, I mean, about Zoey.

- Why,
'cause she's moving to England?

- Yeah.

You okay?

- Should I be not okay?

- Well,
she is one of your best friends

in the world.

- Hey, in third grade,

Rusty Dickerson

was my best friend in the world.

- I never heard you

talk about Rusty Dickerson.

- That's the point, man.

Friends come, friends go.

You know,
that kid still owes me 30 cents?

Dude.

- What's your deal?

- I was this close to level 40
and--

- Zoey's leaving PCA for good

and you're talking
about Dicky Rosenberg.

- Rusty Dickerson.

- How can you not care

that Zoey's leaving?

- Who says I don't care?

- You don't act like it.

- And since
when are you in charge

of how I should act?

- I'm just trying
to talk to you.

- Well, let me know
when you want to talk

about something else.

ZOEY: Dear grandma and grandpa,

the past 10 days here at PCA

have been really hard.

I'm psyched
about moving to England,

but at the same time I know

I'm gonna miss PCA so much.

I've made
so many great friends here.

It's been really tough
saying good-bye.

WOMAN: ♪ I let go of it ♪

♪ And I've never felt
so clean ♪

♪ Not since
before I was able ♪

♪ To remember ♪

♪ When I learned ♪

♪ What growing up means ♪

♪ There's a freedom
that comes ♪

♪ When you let yourself ♪

♪ Stop caring ♪

♪ Though the numbness ♪

♪ Left behind ♪

♪ Maybe I'd best stay ♪

♪ You grow up in a second ♪

♪ Snap your fingers ♪

♪ There's the change ♪

♪ I wish
I could wake up yesterday ♪

♪ When things ♪

♪ Weren't quite so strange ♪

♪ When things ♪

♪ Weren't quite so strange ♪

♪ I broke you ♪

♪ And they'll cry ♪

♪ Please, please tell me ♪

♪ What's wrong ♪

♪ But the truth ♪

♪ Will leave them shaking ♪

♪ 'Cause your innocence ♪

♪ Is gone ♪

♪ We'll not tell anybody ♪

♪ They would surely k*ll ♪

♪ Take that day along with me ♪

♪ And leave it to him ♪

♪ And my will ♪

♪ You grow up in a second ♪

♪ Snap your fingers ♪

♪ There's the change ♪

♪ I wish
I could wake up yesterday ♪

♪ When things ♪

♪ Weren't quite so strange ♪

♪ When things ♪

♪ Weren't quite so strange ♪

♪ ♪

- Well, that's it.

- Whenever you're ready.

- Get over here.

You behave.

In bed by 10:00,

and no coffee after dinner,

you promise me?

- No.

- Listen,

here's the phone number
of my second cousin,

Stephen Chapently.

He lives right outside London,

and he's super sweet,

so give him a call

if you're in the mood
to socialize.

- Thanks, will do.

- You're not gonna call him,

are you?

- No.

- Oh, well,

have a great time at Covington.

I'll miss you.

- I'll miss you too.

- Hey.

- You be nice to Quinn,

and don't let her
blow up the school.

- I'll do what I can.

- I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I actually think

I'm gonna miss you.

- Last chance to make out.

- You're a pig.

- Take care of yourself.

- Michael.

- [sobbing]

- Aw, Michael, don't cry.

- I'm not crying.

It's my allergies.

Anybody have an antihistamine?

- So?

Well, I should get going.

Chase?

- I told
him when you were leaving.

- So did we.

- Okay.

- Hey, you know Chase;

he's probably on his way here

and fell down some stairs

and landed
on his big bush of a head.

- Right.

- You be good, sweetie.

- We'll call you when we land.

- Okay.

See you at Christmas.

- Yeah.
- Love you.

- Wait.

In case you guys need
an extra key to the room.

- Thanks, Zoey.

- Bye, Zo.

- See you, Zoey.

- Bye, Zoey.

- Come on, kid.

What in the world--

Dude, where have you--
- Shh.

I'm trying to concentrate.

I blame you.

- I've been looking for you
since this afternoon.

- Here I am.

- Zoey left.

- Oh, yeah.

Today was the day.

Hey, listen,
do you think

you can help me with my serve

'cause if we're gonna win

this tournament,
I really need to--

You heaved my ball.

- What's your problem?

- Well, my volleyball's
way over there now.

- How could you not
have been there

to say good-bye to Zoey?

She's one of your best friends.

- Yeah.
I thought that till she decided

to just pack up
and leave PCA forever

without even asking me
how I felt about it.

- What are you talking about?

- I had to hear about it
in the halls

and all over campus.

Do you know
how that made me feel?

She didn't even care enough
to tell me herself

before I had to hear it
from Del Figgalo

and some other guys
I barely know.

- Whoa, whoa, wait a second.

- If she doesn't care about me,

then why should I care

about saying good-bye to her?

- Zoey cared
about your opinion the most.

- Yeah, right.

- Yeah.
Right.

She said,
"Chase's opinion

means everything to me."

- Then why didn't she come

talk to me about it

before she decided to go?

- She did.

She hadn't made up her mind yet

when she went to talk to you.

And guess what?

If you had said, "don't go,"

she'd still be here.

- Oh, God.

I'm an--
I'm an idiot.

- Hey, finally,
we're on the same page.

- Where's my cell phone?

Give me your phone.

- Here.

Wait.

Zoey has a new number.
- What?

- Her parents
got her a new number

since she's gonna be in England.

- Well, what's the new number?

- I--I don't know.

- Then who has it?

- Quinn.

Quinn and Lola.

Hurry.

WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome aboard flight 1544,

nonstop service

from Los Angeles to London.

Please stow your items

in the overhead compartments

and fasten your seatbelts.

- Where's Quinn?

Where's Lola?

- Well, after dinner.

- Where are they?

- I don't know.

Maybe the lounge.

WOMAN:
The captain has confirmed

that we are next in line
for takeoff.

Flight attendants,
please cross-check all doors.

- Boomer, return fire.

- Blast 'em!

Blast 'em!

No power.

[rock music]

- I need Zoey's new number.

- Her new cell phone number?

- Yes, what is it?
- Hang on.

- Here.

- Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.

Come on.

ZOEY: Hi.
- Zoey, listen, I --

ZOEY: Just leave a message
and I'll call you back

when I can.
Thanks.

[beeping]

QUINN: Okay.

Two-way video chat.

And this'll send it
to the big flat screen

and we're almost ready to go.

- Hurry.

- Yeah, yeah.

Lola, you got the webcam

hooked up?

- I think.

- And you're sure

Zoey's gonna be in her room?
- Yes.

It's 13 minutes after 3:00,
which means it's 13 minutes

after 11:00 in England,

and I texted Zoey

to be ready to talk

at 11:15 her time.

- Oh, God, two minutes.

Michael, make my hair look nice.

- Well, I don't know how to--

- Make it nice.

- Does it look better?

- I don't know.
It was a bush before;

it's a bush now.

- Okay, it's all set.

At 3:15,
just click on "connect"

right here.
- Awesome.

Get out.
- What?

- Come on, let's go.
Get out.

- But we want to see Zoey too.

- No.
I have to apologize.

[all talking at once]

- Wait, can I at least get my--

[knocking]

I love her, too,
and you're not gonna--

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Zoey?

Zo?

- Oh, hi, Chase.

I thought Lola and Quinn

wanted to talk to me.

- I need to talk to you.

- Okay.
Talk to me.

- I'm so sorry.

- For?

- For acting the way I did,

for not saying good-bye.

- Thanks.
It's nice of you to say.

- Well, don't you want to know

why I acted like I did?

- I'm listening.

- Okay.

See, when you came to talk to me

about England, I thought

that you had already
made up your mind to leave,

you know, without talking to me
about it first.

- I did come to talk to you
about it

before I made up my mind.

- I know.
I know that now.

- And you couldn't even
stop playing darts long enough

to listen.

- You're right.
I was mean and, and awful,

and you're right.

- And even
if you were mad at me,

how could you not
tell me good-bye?

I mean, seriously, Chase,

how could you do that?

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I was obnoxious

and I'm sorry I didn't say
good-bye.

I really mean it.

Zoey?

- I accept your apology.

- Oh, thank God.

Wow.

I was pretty nervous there.

- Yeah.
Well, I should go.

- Right.

So, when do you think

you'll be back?

- Back where?

- To PCA.

- Wait.

You think now
that I'm 5,000 miles away

in England,
I can just hop on a plane

and come back?

- Well, can't you?

ZOEY: No.

I can't just switch back.

I told my parents

I wanted to do this,

so I'm staying here.

- Oh.

Well, I guess I--I understand.

But we're good, right?

You and me?

- Look, I'm really tired.

I got to get to sleep.

- Sure, but I'll talk

with you soon, okay?

- Sure.
Bye.

MICHAEL: Shh.

QUINN: Can you hear anything?

MICHAEL: Shh.

[screams]

- Oh!

- So, how'd the call go?

- You couldn't hear
with your ears

pressed against the door?

- Quinn's stomach
kept rumbling.

- I haven't had dinner.

- You lied to me.

- How'd I lie?

- You said a person
can't be depressed

if they're in a hammock.

- Well, this is the first time.

I miss Zoey.

- Want to go do homework?

- Gross.

Want to go look at boys?

- No.

I already have one.

- What, Mark?

- Yes.

- I guess.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- Where's Chase?

- Are we supposed

to wait all day for him?

- Do you guys want me

on your team or not?

- All right, come on.

Let's see what you got.

- Okay, Del Figgs,

here's a high one
coming to you.

- Yay, Mark, whack it good!

- Oh!

- Baby!

Are you all right?

- Oh.

I don't like volleyball.

- Oh.

- You grab his feet.
- I'll get between his legs.

- Take him to the bench.

All right, let's do it.

- Oh, God, you're heavy.

- There we go.

There.

You rest.

- I'm--I'm bleeding.

- Nobody cares.

- Look, we're gonna have

to find a player to replace Zoey

or else we should just drop out.

- Hey.

- You're late.
- Sorry.

- Who's that with him?

- It looks like Zoey.
- No way.

- Sorry, I'm late.

Guys, this is Gretchen.

She's in my Monday,
Thursday study hall.

- So?
- So, I thought

maybe she could be
the new member

of our volleyball team.

- Are you good at volleyball?

- I don't know.

- Well, why don't

we smack the ball around

a little bit
and see how it goes.

That cool with you?

- Your hair is stupid.

- Okay.

- Woo, come on, let's go.

- Let's settle this.

- All right, people,
let's do this!

Okay, heads up.

- Hey, you got anything
for cramps?

- Um...

Not--not really.

- So, let's try again.

- Oh!

- Baby!

Oh.

Are you all right?

- You guys see
how high Gretchen hit that?

- Are you okay?

- I don't want to play
volleyball with Gretchen.

- How icky is she?

- Yeah,
what is Chase thinking?

Why would he want to hang out
with a girl like that?

- Oh, it's pretty obvious.

- What?

- She's blonde,

insanely pretty.

She looks like Zoey.

- Well, yeah, but--oh, my God.

You think that's why
he wants to be friends with her?

- Totally.
I mean, come on,

there's nothing appealing
about her personality.

This is like psychology 101.

He misses Zoey
so he's trying to fill that void

with a substitute.

- But that's so stupid.

No one could replace Zoey.

- [squealing]

Surprise!

[screams]

Hi.

- What are you doing
in our room?

- I live here.

No, seriously.

- Okay, we're--
we're a little confused.

- Or a lot.
- Well, see,

I kind of overheard you guys
talking about

how lonely it was gonna be

for you living here without Zoey

so I went to Coco

and I asked her
if I could switch rooms

and she said, "Sure,
who cares where you live?"

- Yeah, but--
- So then I went to my

roommates and I said,
"Would you girls be upset

if I moved out of here
and in with Quinn and Lola?"

and before
I even finished the question,

they were helping me
pack my stuff.

- You're gonna live here?

- We're gonna be like
the Three Musketeers,

but females.

Oh!

Swabs for you

and swabs for you.

[claps]

- There he is.
What are you doing?

- You were supposed
to meet us at Sushi Rocks.

- I am, but I invited Gretchen

and she's a little late.

- Oh, why'd you
invite Gretchen?

- 'Cause she's my bud.

I'll go see
if I can find her in the hall.

- What's wrong with him?

Why can't he see

that Gretchen's disgusting?

- 'Cause she looks like Zoey.

- Then Chase
needs a psychiatrist.

- Oh, give the boy a break.

- Dude,

trying to replace a girl
with another girl

just 'cause they look alike,

that's a little sick.

- So?
You're sick too.

- I'm not sick.

- Then why do you take at least



of yourself every week?

- 'Cause I have
movie star good looks.

- See that?

You're sicker than I thought.

- I didn't see Gretchen.

Maybe I can get her on her cell.

- I'll cross my fingers.

- Oh, here she is.

Hey, Gretch.

- Hi.

- So, Sushi Rocks?

- I don't care.

CHASE: Awesome.
Oh.

Hey, you know how you told me

you locked yourself
out of your room last night?

- I guess.

- Well, I got you somethin'.

Give me your room key.

All right.

Got the key, got the chain,

key through the chain,

and then...

There.
Now you'll always have your key.

Maybe later
we could paint it together.

- This is stupid.

- All right, to Sushi Rocks.

- I hate sushi.

- Okay.

We got a problem.

- Yeah.

- ♪ You can sip it
in the morning ♪

♪ Sip it in the evening ♪

♪ Even at a quarter to 3:00 ♪

♪ 'Cause I like sassafras ♪

♪ You like sassafras ♪

♪ We like sassafras tea ♪

- What time is it?

- 6:10 a.m.

I'm a morning girl.

- Clearly.

- What are you doing?

- I'm working on my demo.

- A demo of what?

- You see,
my mother always tells me

I have a lovely singing voice,

so I wrote a song for myself.

Listen.
- Oh, wait.

- You don't have to.

- Take two.

♪ You can sip it
in the morning ♪

♪ Sip it in the evening ♪

♪ Even at a quarter to 3:00 ♪

♪ 'Cause I like sassafras ♪

♪ You like sassafras ♪

♪ We like sassafras tea ♪

Cut.

Want me to play it back?

- Please don't.
- No.

- Oh.

I got to go take a shower.

- Oh.

- [blows]

[gasps]

Who did this?

- What?
- What?

- Who befouled

this cotton swab?

- What?

I used it to clean my ears

last night.

- This swab

came from my trinket box.

These have
the plastic turquoise sticks

which I had to order online

at specialtyswabs.com.

These are for crafting,
admiring, or holding.

They are not for you
to dig the muck

out of your filthy ears.

Now, I have to go rinse it.

[squeals]

- Good morning.

- She can't get mad
'cause you used a cotton swab

to clean your ears.

- Try telling that to Stacey.

- Why did Zoey have to leave?

Oh, God.

- What's up, guys?

I brought the Gretch.

- Huh.

- Not having lunch?

- Nah, Gretch and I

already ate.

- I had a potato.

I hate this thing.

- What's wrong?

- I got a stupid zit on my arm.

Why won't it pop?

There's stuff in there, right?

- Yeah,
it's white in the middle.

- There.

I'm bored.

- Okay, let's go play foosball.

- Foosball's stupid.

- How can a girl that looks
that much like Zoey be so--

- Nauseating?

- Yeah.

- I think it's time.
- For what?

- An intervention.

We got to talk to Chase

about Gretchen.

- All of us together?

- No.

I think me and Logan
should do it alone.

It could get ugly.

- Aw, her gum's on my apple.

- Ew.

- There.

You're good as new.

[stirring orchestral music]

♪ And you can sip it
in the morning ♪

♪ Sip it in the evening ♪

♪ Even at a quarter to 3:00 ♪

♪ 'Cause I like sassafras ♪

♪ You like sassafras ♪

♪ We like sassafras tea ♪

- How's it coming?

- I'm getting it.

- Why don't you come
and help me?

- 'Cause if I
don't send this report in

to Mr. Bender,
I'm gonna get a zero.

How do you close
this webcam software?

- Just click on the little box

in the corner.

- I see no little box.

- Well, just click somewhere.

- Click, click, click,

click, click, click,
click, click, click.

- Hey, he's comin'.

- Hey.

What?

I saw this in a prison movie.

- We need to talk.

- We do.

- Okay.

Is...

everything all right?

- Nope.

- You got to quit
hanging around with Gretchen.

- Oh, really?

- Really.

- Why?

- She's disgusting.

- Hey, well, don't hold back.

- Come on,
you know you wouldn't hang out

with that girl
in a million years

if she didn't--

- If she didn't what?

If she didn't what?

Just say it.

- If she didn't look like Zoey.

- You guys are ridiculous.

- I don't think
we're ridiculous.

- Unlock the door.

- It's okay that you miss Zoey.

- I don't miss Zoey, okay?

I haven't even thought about her
since she left.

[bell chimes]

[soft piano music]

♪ ♪

- So you're saying
it's just a coincidence

that Gretchen
looks exactly like Zoey?

- I don't even
see a resemblance.

- Everybody thinks
they look alike.

- And that's why
you're hanging out with her.

She's your
little Zoey replacement,

and that's a little bit sick.

- Subtle.
- He needs to hear this.

- I don't need to hear anything
from you guys right now.

CHASE: If you cared about me,
you wouldn't judge my friend.

MICHAEL: So, you don't think
it's weird

that right after she leaves
PCA,

you make friends
with some bizarro girl

who just happens
to look exactly like Zoey?

CHASE: Gretchen is a lot
of fun.

LOGAN: Huh, yeah.

Like the way she spits
and picks her nose?

MICHAEL: Oh, and then
don't forget the fun way

she pops her pimples at lunch.

- Unlock the door.

- We'll unlock the door
when you admit

that you miss Zoey.
- Huh?

Then we better order some
pizzas and a toilet

'cause we're gonna be in here
for a while.

- Why is it so hard for you
to just admit it's k*lling you

that Zoey's gone?

- It's hard to admit something

that's not true.

MICHAEL: Chase!

- Enough, all right?

- Ooh, looky here.

- Put that down.

LOGAN: Zoey gave you this,
right?

- Maybe, just put it down.

- Why?
If you don't care about Zoey,

then why would you care
about a stupid

little stuffed animal
she gave you?

- Logan.
- It's cool.

Chase doesn't care about it.

- That's right, I don't.

LOGAN: Good.

- Good.

- Well, then I guess
it wouldn't bug you

if I do this.

- Chase, Chase.

Chase.

- I'm sorry.

- It's cool.

- I'm sorry.

MICHAEL: It's okay.

- You're right.

Everything you guys said
is true.

- We know you miss Zoey, man.

- I don't just miss her.

I'm in love with her.

I've been in love with Zoey
ever since I met her.

When she got out
of her dad's car,

I saw her standing there.

I rode my bike
into that stupid flagpole.

I was in love with Zoey
before I hit the ground.

I don't think that
feeling's ever gonna go away.

[soft piano music]

♪ ♪

[ding]

MAN: Mmm.

STACEY: Sassafrass!
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