02x11 - People Auction

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: Are you ready?

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪

♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪

♪ Do I look good today? ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ok, ok. So the kangaroo says,
"If you don't like it,

then you can get
out of my pouch."

- Dude.
- Oh, come on.

Are you serious?
all: Boo!

- Boo!
- All right, that's it.

I'm not telling you people
any more jokes.

- Really? Are you serious?
- Yeah!

- All right, all right.
Whatever.

- Hey, waiter,
we're thirsty.

Come on. Let's go.
- It's been an hour.

- Must you guys make me look
bad in front of my boss?

- Of course.
- Why not?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- What's up, little octopus?

Do you miss the ocean?

Do you miss it?
Well, too bad!

You're going down!

- He talks to his sushi?

- All the time.

- Hey, Chase,
can I get a tempura roll?

- Um, I think Kaz
is about to close up.

Hey, Kazu.
Tempura roll?

- It's after 9:00.

- Come on, Kazu.
For me?

Please!

- Ok. For you.

- Yay!
- Aww.

[indistinct chatter]

- Kazu's the best.
- To Kazu.

- Yeah.
All: Kazu!

[cheering]
- Yeah, Kazu!

- We love you!
We love you!

- Kazu, I got to tinkle.

Don't let these kids
touch my food.

- Hey, Chase,
why don't you go ahead

and make
your last deliveries.

- Oh.
Yeah, sure thing.

- Maybe you better
make two trips.

- Oh, no. I got this.
It's no problem.

- Hey, uh, you better hurry up
if we're gonna make that movie.

- I'm hurrying.
I'm hurrying.

[grunts]

[grunting]
Ow!

- What was that?

- Chase!

- Oh, no!

- Chase!

- Chase!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [groaning]

[all gasp]
- Chase!

- Oh, my--
- Oh, man.

- [indistinct]

- Ow.
- Chase, are you ok?

- Yeah.
Um...yeah.

I think a California roll
broke my fall.

[all chuckle]

Yep.

Here.
Help me up.

- Gosh.
Be careful.

- You are sure you're ok?

- Yeah, seriously, I'm fine.

- Um, you got some
yellowtail in your hair.

- Fire. Fire.

Fire. Fire!

Kazu, your grill's on fire!

[all screaming]
- Fire!

- No, no!
Stay back!

Pull the fire alarm.

- What fire alarm?
- What--

[all shouting]

- Fire!
- Oh, my goodness!

[alarm ringing]

[indistinct radio chatter]

- Morning, Kazu.

- How bad was the fire?

- Sushi Rox is destroyed.

- Kazu, I am so, so sorry.

- It's not your fault.

- Well, if you
hadn't tried to carry

all those take-out orders
at once--

I'll stop talking.
- There you go.

- Kazu, here's
some photos of the damage

for the insurance company.

- I can't look at these.

- So what's the story?

- Well, the structure's
still intact,

but it's pretty badly
wrecked in there.

- But the insurance will pay
to have it fixed up, right?

- I don't have
that much insurance.

- Well, hey,
what about your safe?

You keep like a ton of
cash in your safe, right?

Oh.
This is bad.

Oh, wait.

Here's $5.00 that's not
b*rned too bad.

- Well, we don't usually accept
tips, but...thank you.

- So how bad is it?

Whoa.

- Wow.
- Aw, man.

- That is not pretty.

- Yeah.
Way to go, Chase and Zoey.

- Dude.
- This wasn't Zoey's fault.

- Or Chase's.
- Excuse me?

But if Zoey hadn't
demanded the tempura roll,

and if you hadn't
tried to carry

all that stuff at once,

we'd still
have a sushi bar at PCA.

- Ok, that is the dumbest
thing I've ever--

- No. It's not.

- It is our fault.

- This is just
a freak accident.

- Like Logan's birth.

- Look, you cannot blame
yourself for that fire.

- I blame you.

It's your fault, Matthews!

- Apparently,
Coach Keller can.

- Thank you for burning down
my happiness!

- Look, we all feel
bad enough about the fire.

- Feeling bad doesn't
fill my gut with raw fish,

now, does it, cupcake?

I am ticked off!

- You ever thought about
an anger management class?

KELLER: That's it, Matthews.

You just earned yourself
a slice of revenge pie.

- Don't you think you're being
a little hard on the boy?

- You, too, starky.

Revenge pie.

- Well, he's mad.

- And he wants revenge.

- In pie form.

[overlapping chatter]

LOLA: Hey, what's Kazu doing?

GIRL: See you later.

GIRL: Bye, you guys.

- Kazu, how come you're
packing up your car?

- There's nothing for me
at PCA now.

I'm going back to my homeland
to see my mother

and think about my future.

- You're going back to Japan?

- Alabama.

I'm from Birmingham.

- Hey, you got to like any town
with "ham" in the name.

- Well, so does this mean
we'll never see you again?

- You will see me.

I'll be back in two weeks

to pick up the rest
of my things.

- Are you sure you can't find
the money to fix up Sushi Rox?

- Unfortunately, no.

- Well, we all
feel really awful.

KAZU: It's ok.

Accidents happen.

Most don't cause $10,000
worth of damage.

But they happen.

[country western playing]

♪ ♪

Adios, amigos.

♪ How can I ♪

♪ Forget to cry ♪

♪ When I've lost
all that matters ♪

♪ Fortune in tatters ♪

♪ And I drive off ♪

♪ And whisper good-bye ♪

ZOEY: Kazu left PCA?

- Why doesn't he just
fix the place?

- 'Cause there's like 10,000
bucks worth of damage.

- So?

- Not everybody has a daddy
who's a rich TV producer.

- TV and movies.

- Well, we have
to do something.

- Yeah, anybody got
ten grand on 'em?

QUINN: I know how
we can raise $10,000.

- Good.
What you got?

- Well, there's lots
of people out there

who wanna adopt babies,
right?

- Yeah.

- So we find some babies
and sneak them away

from their mothers just
long enough to clone them.

Ok, stay with me.

So we clone the babies,

return the originals
to their parents,

and then we sell
the clone babies

for like
a thousand bucks apiece.

- Ahem.

- You know,
that's an excellent idea.

- You think so?

- Yes.
Of course I do.

Uh, tell you what.

Why don't we discuss it
some more outside?

- Ok.

Um, I guess the first
thing we need to figure out

is where we get
the original babies.

- Yes.
QUINN: Ooh, I know!

Why don't we all just get--

- Now how are we gonna
raise ten grand?

- Ooh, I got it.
- Talk.

- What?
- What?

- Yeah, come on.
- A people auction.

- What's a people auction?

- We auction off students
to do odd jobs for teachers.

It's an awesome way
to raise money.

- Cool.
Let's talk to Dean Rivers

and have ourselves
a people auction.

[all cheering]

CHASE: People auction!
Yeah!

[applause]

- Next we're auctioning off
two very cool guys

who go by the names
of Chase Matthews

and Michael Barret.

[cheers and applause]
- Go get 'em!

- Ok, these two young men
can do any odd job you need.

Let's start the bidding
at a hundred bucks.

- 100.

MAN: We have 100.
Do I hear 150?

Come on, 150.

KELLER: 300!
[crowd murmurs]

MAN: Ok!

We have 300 bid
for Chase and Michael.

Do I hear 350?

- Please.
- Oh, please.

MAN: Going once...
CHASE: Anyone. Help us.

MAN: Twice...
- Please bid.

- Come on!
- Sold for $300.

[applause]

- Come with me, gentlemen.

It's time for pie!

- And that brings us
to 6,000.

[applause]

Ok, teachers, you're gonna
have to bid higher

if you want Sushi Rox
to reopen at PCA.

Now, next up for auction,
we have a trio of young ladies--

Zoey Brooks, Nicole Bristow,
and Lola Martinez.

LOLA: [chuckles]

- Ok, now, who wants to start
the bidding at 150?

- 150.
- 200.

- We have 200.
Do I hear 300?

- 300.

- 300.
Do I hear 4?

Who will bid 4?

- $4,000.

[all gasp]

- [stammering]

- Only teachers
are allowed to bid.

- Not students.
- No way!

- Does it say that
in the rules?

- No. We didn't write down
any rules.

- Well, if you never said
students can't bid,

I think you
have to let 'em.

- But...I don't even believe
he has $4,000 to bid.

- Yeah.

- Logan, come here.

- Yes, sir.

- Are you seriously bidding


- Absolutely.

My dad approved it.

He loves PCA and sushi.

Here. Talk to him.

- Malcolm?

Yes.

Uh-huh.

Right.

I see.

All right.

Very good.

Bye.

Malcolm Reese has approved
Logan's $4,000 bid.

[applause]

- Anybody wanna top it?

- Sold to Logan Reese.

And that brings us
to our goal of $10,000.

[cheers and applause]

- Ok, what do you
want us to do?

- [chuckles]
You'll see.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[knocking]

- Coming.

You're late.
- You're obnoxious.

- Ah, you're so cute
when you flirt.

So, how are you ladies
doing today?

- Ok, cut the chitchat,
Logan.

- Yeah, just tell us
what you want us to do.

- And we'll see
if we feel like doing it.

- No, you're gonna do
whatever I say

whether you like it or not.

Unless you don't
want my 4,000 bucks

to help Kazu
rebuild Sushi Rox.

- Ok, what do you
want from us?

- I'll show you.

Your new outfits.

- Ok, what up with
the cheerleader outfits?

- Your job is to be
my personal cheerleaders.

- Ok, you're out of your mind.

- Yeah, not really.

You girls...

are gonna follow me around...

all day...

and cheer my awesomeness.

- What awesomeness?

- Hey. I didn't spend $4,000
to get attitude.

- Ok, listen--
LOGAN: No, you listen.

You wanted
to have a people auction,

and I bought your services
fair and square.

So you better do what I say,

or you can kiss Kazu
and Sushi Rox bye-bye.

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Well, well, well.
You boys ready to go to work?

- What do we have to do?

[Michael grunts]

- What is this?
- It's a fish.

- I see it's a fish.

- What are we supposed
to do with it?

- What do you think?
You b*rned down the only place

on the PCA campus
to get sush-ee.

- Sush-ee?
- It's pronounced "su-shi."

- I say sush-ee.

Now, you clowns
better take that fish

and go make me
a spicy tuna roll.

- ♪ Yeah-ah ♪

- I'm so sorry.

- Yeah.
There they are.

I'm waiting.

- Yay.
- Whee.

- Whoa.
- Ok. That was not cheerful.

Now, if you want my money
for Sushi Rox,

you guys better start
acting like real cheerleaders.

- Okay.

- ♪ Ready ♪
- ♪ Let's go, let's go ♪

- ♪ He's eating ♪
- ♪ He's eating ♪

ALL: ♪ Logan's eating lunch,
that's right ♪

- ♪ He's eating ♪
- ♪ He's eating ♪

ALL:: ♪ Logan's eating lunch,
bite, bite ♪

- ♪ He's eating ♪

ALL: ♪ He's eating,
Logan's eating lunch ♪

[cheering]

- [laughs]

Come on, ladies.
Let's have the sush-ee.

That ain't sush-ee.
- We did our best.

- What'd you do, make that
with a flappin' hand grenade?

Your bass is horrible.

Just come with me.
Time for your next assignment.

Gah!
Grab the drinks.

- Come on.
Cheer it up.

- ♪ Ready ♪
- ♪ Ok ♪

- ♪ It's time ♪
[together] ♪ It's time ♪

- ♪ It's time ♪
ALL: ♪ It's time ♪

♪ To get yourself a tan,
suntan ♪

♪ So grab the lotion
and start the motion ♪

♪ It's time to get a tan,
go man ♪

[cheers and applause]
- I didn't say stop.

- [sighs] ♪ It's time ♪
- ♪ It's time ♪

- ♪ It's time
♪ ALL: ♪ It's time ♪

♪ To get yourself
a tan, suntan ♪

♪ So grab the lotion
and start the motion ♪

♪ It's time to get a tan,
go man ♪

- Oh, yeah.
That's nice.

Make sure you scrape off
all the dead skin.

- Um, ok.
I think we're done.

- I'll be the judge of that!

Yeah.
Smooth like a baby's butt.

MICHAEL: Uh-huh.

So, uh, can we go
back to our dorms now?

- No! It's time
for your next job.

- What?
- My son Kenny

could use a couple of sparring
partners.

- Sparring partners?
- Kenny! Right here!

KENNY: Hahh!

- These two.

- Karate?

- We don't really
know anything about--

- Hahhhhh!
- Aah!

[Kenny grunting]

Hahhhhhhh!

- Whoa, buddy.
Take it easy, man.

- Please, no more.
No more.

- This is my worst week
at PCA ever.

- It's bad enough being in
classes with Logan.

But cheering for him?

- The only good thing about it

is that I could not look cuter
in this outfit.

- Chase and Michael are lucky.

- Yeah, all they have to do are
some chores for Coach Keller.

- Hahh!
- Oh, my god.

- Hahhhhhh!

- Hey!

Tell him to stop!

No!

- Hahh!

Hahhhhhh!

- Yeah, son!
Take him down!

[thud]
MICHAEL: Aah!

- Don't forget
the bushy-haired one.

KENNY: Hahh!
CHASE: Ow!

KELLER: Nice!

That's what revenge pie tastes
like, gentlemen.

Kenny, get over here.
I couldn't be any more proud.

Thank you
for hurting those boys.

- I cannot believe we have
to cheer everything Logan does

for three more days.

- Hey. I got an idea.
- Talk.

- Ok, Logan said
he wants us to cheer

for everything
he does, right?

- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.

- So let's cheer
everything he does.

Everything.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

ALL: ♪ Ready, ok ♪

♪ Hey, Logan, wake up ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey
Logan, wake up ♪

♪ This ain't
no time to sleep, no no ♪

♪ Hey, Logan, wake up ♪

♪ Get up, get on your feet ♪

♪ Wake up, shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up,
shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up, shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up,
shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up ♪
[cheering]

- What is going on?
- We're cheering.

- For everything you do.
- Like waking up.

NICOLE: ♪ Wake up ♪
ALL: ♪ Shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up, shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up,
shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up, shake your booty ♪

♪ Wake up ♪

- Ok, it's time to wake up!

Shake your booty!
Whoo!

- ♪ Come on back, get back ♪
- Will you get out of here?

- ♪ Go get back in the shower ♪
- Are you insane?

- ♪ Get back, go back,
get back, go back ♪

♪ Go get back in the shower ♪
- Why is this door locked?

Chase! Michael!
- ♪ Get back ♪

♪ Go get back
in the shower ♪

- Just leave me alone!
- ♪ Get back, go back ♪

♪ Go get back
in the shower ♪

[cheering]

- So I was thinking.
Maybe I'll take out out.

You know, like a date.

- Well, thanks, but I really
don't like you that way.

Sorry.

- ♪ Rejected, rejected ♪

♪ Yeah, you just
got rejected ♪

♪ R-E, J-E ♪

♪ C-T-E-D ♪

♪ Rejected ♪

♪ R-E, J-E ♪

♪ C-T-E-D ♪

♪ Rejected ♪

[cheering]
- All right. All right.

That's enough.
- What's the matter?

- I thought you wanted us to
cheer for everything you did.

- Yeah, like getting
shut down by that girl.

- One more time, girls!

- ♪ Rejected, Rejected ♪

♪ Yeah, you just
got rejected ♪

♪ R-E, J-E ♪
- Stop it!

Stop it.
Here. Here.

Here's your stupid check.
Go fix Sushi Rox.

Just leave me alone.

[all cheering]
- We've done it!

- What is going on?

- You ask a lot of questions.

- You don't answer many.

- Just keep walking forward.

Ok.

Now, take off your blindfold.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh.

MICHAEL: All right!

[cheers and applause]

- You fixed it.
ZOEY: Yeah, we did.

- So will you stay at PCA?

- And can I keep my job?

- Absolutely.

- Well, Kazu,
how about some sush-ee?

- Indeed.

Free sush-ee for everyone.

[cheers and applause]

WOMAN: ♪ Summer sunshine ♪

♪ Hot guys on the beach
and getting a tan ♪

♪ Summer sunshine, whoa ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

[whistle blowing]

♪ Falling asleep
with your toes in the sand ♪

♪ Summer sunshine oh ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Wishing, dreaming
hoping, craving ♪

♪ Hating that I always
gotta wait all year ♪

WOMAN: ♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪

♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪

♪ Don't walk away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[ding]

Man: Mmm.

KELLER: I say sush-ee!