And we'll be talking more
About the national space
Agency's planned moon landing
Later in the broadcast.
But first, let's go live to
Brad punchbeef at the convention
Center.
- Sorry to interrupt the real - news, chuck, but I'm here at the
National science fair, where
Kids from all over the world are
Boring us to death with their
Simple and primitive experiments
- That we've seen a million times - before.
Case in point... This so-called
"Volcano" made by gallagher
Elementary fourth grader
Harvey gilligan.
It's "hoagie."
Whatever, kid.
Just tell us about your stupid
Project, and we'll pretend like
We care, okay?
- Hey, it's not stu... - Great!
And that's all the time we have.
Back to you, chuck.
And we're clear.
Finally!
- Let's get out of here and cover - something fun, like the stock
Market.
Yeah, cool!
- Can we go through rush-hour - traffic?
Yeah, awesome!
The coast is clear!
All right, all right, simmer
Down, people.
As you all know, we hold the
Kids next door 2x4 technology
Convention every year so that
Each sector can show off their
Latest advances in gadgets,
Vehicles, and weaponry.
And, as always, the judges and
I, numbuh 2x4, will visit each
Booth to determine who will win
The coveted chocolate wrench
Award for the best, new 2x4 tech
Invention.
Why bother?
'Cause this year, I'm a shoo-in
To win.
Ah, numbuh 2 of sector "v,"
What magnificent technological
Advancement have you come up
With this year?
It's colossal.
It's "gihugic."
It's the most incredible thing
You've never seen.
It's...
"I can't believe it's not
Booger!"?
Exactly!
A booger substitute like no
Other.
Um, I have a question.
Yes?
That's stupid.
Hey!
That's not a question.
And that's not 2x4
Technology.
It's just gross!
Moving on!
Ohh!
Ah, numbuh 202 of sector "g,"
What have we here?
- Only the best new invention - ever, sir!
Just check out the video
Presentation we made.
[ Beeping ]
♪ What you gonna do
When grandma comes a-callin'? ♪
♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer
♪ What you gonna need
When auntie's got you bawlin'? ♪
♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer
♪ You pop it in your cheek
♪ It's really a cinch
♪ Then wait for them ladies
To give you a pinch ♪
♪ And oh-oh,
It's as easy as that ♪
♪ About a million megavolts
Will give them a zap ♪
♪ What you gonna do
- When uncle pete - comes a-pinchin'? ♪
♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer
♪ When miss johnson visits
Are you tired of flinchin'? ♪
♪ Cheek tazer, cheek tazer
♪ It came from sector "g,"
And it's sure to amaze her ♪
♪ It's the super-fantastic
Cheek tazer ♪
Ow!
Excellent idea, numbuh 202.
I could have really used one of
Those last thanksgiving.
And up next is sector "h."
Let's see what you've got,
Numbuh 30-c.
No prob, science dude.
Check this out.
Psst!
Oh. Uh, oh, yeah.
[ Monotone ] hey, here comes
That dumb old "toilet-nator."
Let us hit him with a snowball.
Yes, that is a cool idea, but
There is just one problem.
Both: it is the summertime.
Aah!
Hey!
Is this snow?
It sure is!
Oh, hello, numbuh 30-c.
May I ask how you are making
Snowballs in the summer?
It's easy, with sector h's
New summer-ball maker.
But what is a summer... Ooh!
Cut it out!
Summer ball is the amazing,
New invention of the year.
Simply pour in some ice cubes
From your mom's freezer.
Add coconuts, a couple of white
Crayons, a dash of skim milk, a
Jar of paste, some sugar, a box
Of rice, a pair of underwear,
And presto!
Ooh!
Blecch!
It went in my mouth!
That's right.
It may be summer, but that
Doesn't mean it has to be a
Bummer.
I came up with that last line
Myself.
Very nice, numbuh 30-c, but
Nothing we haven't seen before.
Ow!
Hey, what's the big...
Ah, forget him.
With "I can't believe it's not
Booger!" You can make snowballs
With 200% better "stickability."
Aah!
Get this thing away from me!
We've got real 2x4 technology to
Look at.
Yes, you do!
Step right up.
Step right up to crazy 80's 2x4
Superstore, where our gadgets
Are "unpossible."
- Hey, want to find out who farted - in math class?
- Then try our new fart-identifier - spray.
- Just spray it generously around - the room, and the culprit's
Butt will turn green.
Whoopsie!
Must have been those baked
Beans.
- And, speaking of beans, simply - take any old kind... String
- Beans, soybeans, kidney beans, - lima beans.
- Pour them into the new - jelly-o-matic.
It's guaranteed to make jelly
Beans out of yucky beans 100% of
The time.
- Still working out the kinks on - that one.
But look at this!
Crazy 80's new teacher-canceling
Headphones.
- Just slip them on, and you won't - hear a word of that boring
- History lesson, and the teacher - will never know...
Um, numbuh 80?
What? Can't hear ya!
Oh, never mind!
Hey, wait.
I didn't show you crazy 80's
Spank-proof underwear.
Come on.
Try to spank me.
Come on! You can do it!
Okay, what have you guys got?
Watch this!
[ Yawns ]
[ Speaking gibberish ]
- [ Speaking gibberish ] - [ man speaking asian language ]
Excellent work, sector "c."
Send a case of those over to my
Office, if you don't mind.
Well, if you like smoke
Tarts, then you'll love these.
Mmm!
Smells good.
What is it?
It's "I can't believe it's
Not booger!" On melba toast.
What's the big idea, trying
To make me eat boogers?!
Well, you might think it's
Boogers, but it's not!
It also makes a great dessert
Topping.
Forget that junk!
Let's thumbercise!
Are you tired of getting your
Butt kicked playing video games?
Can't seem to win at
Thumb-wrestling?
Tired of bullies kicking sand on
Your thumbs?
Well, no more!
Hi, I'm numbuh 123, and I used
To have pale, flabby, and
Useless thumbs until I came up
With a program guaranteed to
Give you the thumbs you've
Always dreamed of in just 30
Days.
It's called "thumbercise," and
It's sweeping the nation.
Other thumb exercises use
Complicated and expensive
Equipment that only works out
Parts of your thumb.
But thumbercise's exclusive
Thumb tensionizer power band
Works out the entire thumb,
Giving you a complete workout
And the muscular, healthy thumbs
You've always wanted.
See?
[ Clears throat ]
Allow me, ladies.
Nice thumb!
[ Both giggle ]
Thanks, thumbercise!
Ooh, a quarter!
Ow!
My eye! I'm blind!
Oh, my retina!
Call now to receive
Numbuh 123's thumbercise
Program, including the patented
Thumb tensionizer power band,
Half-page instruction booklet.
- Call in the next five minutes - and receive these thumb
Sweatbands, a $20 value, free!
- Supplies are limited, so call - now.
Thumb tensionizer?!
- That's just a plain, old rubber - band!
Hey, this is just a cruddy
Rubber band!
No!
It's an industrial-grade,
High-tech polymer that's been
Clinically tested.
Smoky tart!
I really have got to reject
Felix today.
[ Thunder rumbles ]
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
I would gladly pay you
Tuesday for the hamburger today.
Please return my "riffraff"
Comic books to me.
I hate you.
♪ frère jacques, frre
jacques ♪
♪ dormez vous, dormez vous? ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What in the name of ridges and
Woodwork are you people talking
About?!
I did not expect you to
Understand.
oui!
Le filthé is beyond your
Conventions.
Yeah, but what's it do?!
[ Sighs ]
You simply spray it on before
Your mother makes you take the
Bath, and it forms a waterproof
Coating so you will not become
Clean, no?
Well, why didn't you say so?
That's brilliant!
Yeah, but "I can't believe
It's not booger!" Does all that
And softens the skin.
Go on.
Feel the "tenderosity."
Get that stuff away from me!
- But you haven't even tried it - yet.
Come on.
- It does everything... Lubricates - gears, bastes turkeys.
It plugs leaks.
It's an awesome popcorn topping.
It's an eraser, a modeling
Compound, a semiconductor, a
Key chain, and...
It's delicious!
Come on.
Just try it and see.
If I try it, will you leave
Me alone?
I promise.
And it's not made with real
Boogers?
Oh, no way.
That would be disgusting.
Well, okay.
Say, that's pretty good.
And it really does all that
Stuff you said?
"Absitively posilutely."
Mmm.
Say, that is quite delectable.
So, uh, what's it made with?
Earwax.
[ All screaming ]
We won! We won!
[ Cheering ]
[ Sighs ]
How did sector "f" win the award
For best 2x4 tech invention?
My "I can't believe it's not
Booger!" Can do everything their
- Stupid invention can do and - more.
Tell me about it.
My tree-house seeds didn't win,
Either, and I spent all night
Coloring the packaging.
See?
Wow!
Way to stay inside the lines,
Numbuh 42.
- You've gotten better since last - year.
Well, uh, you keep them.
My dad doesn't want any more
Okay, thanks.
- Hey, what you doing after the - convention?
A bunch of us are getting
Together to watch the
"Dr. Timespace in the
Continuum's" marathon.
Dead arm!
- You're not hanging out with - these sci-fi-watching nerds, are
You, numbuh 2?
Why is everyone always
Knocking us for watching
"Dr. Timespace"?
- Yeah, numbuh 4, it's not that - bad.
In fact, the physics of the show
Are pretty accurate.
Oh, yeah?
It sounds like you could use a
Dead arm, too!
Whaa?
Help!
That thing's going after the
Scientists.
Hey, I'm a scientist!
Aah!
It got me!
Pull!
This looks like a job for
"I can't believe it's not
Booger!"
Ew!
Why'd you do that for?!
Wait! It's working.
[ All screaming ]
[ All groaning ]
Quick! To the scamper!
Right! Bail out of here.
Aah-ha-ha!
What the crud was that
About?!
Yeah, those were 2x4 tech
Machines.
Why were they attacking us?
[ Sighs ]
I'm not supposed to tell you
This, but it looks like the
Secret is out.
Last week, global command sent
Out a triple-degree, incredibly
Super-bad news warning to every
Sector leader.
They've recently found a
Splinter cell within the kids
Next door, and their goal is
Much more radical than fighting
Adult tyranny.
They want to permanently wipe
Out all adults, whether good or
Bad.
Co-o-ol!
Not cool, fool!
The kids next door only fight
Evil adults.
Well, what do these cruddy
Guys want with all those dorky
Scientists, anyway?
I can only guess they'll
Force them to build some kind
Of super megaweapon to further
Their extremist aims.
Well, we got to stop them.
Not you, numbuh 2.
If they get their hands on you,
They'll be able to build almost
Anything.
You'll have to lay low for a
While, somewhere they'd never
Expect to find you.
Noooo!
Anywhere but here!
Please!
Good to see you again, jeb.
It's been, what, a year since
Our last sector-leaders'
Retreat?
Ah, nigel, old friend.
Numbuh 2, this is
Numbuh jebidiah, leader of
Sector "a," the amish kids next
Door.
His team has agreed to take you
In while we find out who's been
Abducting our scientists.
And under no circumstances are
You to build anything with 2x4
Technology while you're here.
It would draw undue attention.
You do not be needing to
Fret.
These parts.
- [ Gasps ] - you're in good hands,
Numbuh 2.
We'll come back for you when...
Take me with you!
There's no electricity!
And worse... No video games!
You'll be... Fine!
Wait! Numbuh 1!
Don't leave me!
Numbuh 2, this here is
Numbuh ezekiel and
Numbuh rebecca.
Afternoon.
Howdy-do?
Did anyone ever tell you your
Names aren't numbers?
We're not needing any of your
Fancy city numbers around here.
Ezekiel?
What's up?
No, I'm afraid we'll need
Your 2x4 technology devices,
Please.
What?!
- And what if that splinter cell - att*cks?
- I'll at least need weapons to - defend myself.
But we don't believe in
v*olence.
While staying with us, you
Must respect our ways.
[ Grumbles ]
Fine!
[ Muttering ]
Of all the things...
There!
All of them, please.
Aah!
[ Clock ticking ]
There! That's all!
Don't you fret none.
You won't be missing those
Thingies one bit.
Whaa!
I'm not complaining, but that
Hurt.
Now then, rebecca, best get
Numbuh 2 properly attired.
Huh?
[ Chuckles nervously ]
No, no, no, guys, I'm
Comfortable in this.
Really. Guys?
Guys!
[ Cow moos ]
You've got to be kidding me.
I'm not wearing this stuff.
Oh, but you look so plain.
Yeah, plain stupid.
If you want to be staying in
Our tree house, you must do as
We do.
So, where is your tree house?
Right here.
What do you think?
That?!
That's a shrub.
Well, it'll take a little
While to grow, but we're in no
Rush.
In the meantime, we have
Temporary headquarters.
A barn?
Okay.
Okay, you guys wear fake beards,
You don't use 2x4 technology,
And you live in a barn.
What do you do around here,
Then?
Mostly work, I'm supposing.
Time and again, I lay me down
For a nap.
Are you serious?
Aah!
The eggs!
The eggs have been stolen from
The henhouse!
Finally! Some action!
Let's go!
Yes, hurry to the scamper.
You guys have a scamper?
Why were you messing with me?
Sector "v" has one, too.
I recently outfitted it with
Chili-powered boosters.
I can totally do the same for...
You.
Kids next door
S.c.a.m.p.p.e.r.... Strong
Canine actually manages pulling
People everywhere reliably.
Time's a-wasting, numbuh 2.
Up you go.
"Scampper," yah!
[ Whimpering ]
We're here, and in record
Time.
Come out with the eggs up!
They were over there.
That's funny.
This is the same spot I got the
Eggs to make my omelet this
Morning.
Then I guess we found our
Egg-napper, ezekiel.
Well, I suppose you're right.
Of all the crazy...
[ Cow moos ]
[ Rooster crows ]
Up and at them.
Aah!
We've got chores to do.
It's, like, 4:00 in the
Morning!
I know.
Must have overslept.
[ Crying ]
[ Groans ]
Hard work, is it not?
Stupid work.
Rebecca, this isn't how you
Build a tree house.
Then, may I ask...
How does your sector raise a
Tree house?
- Well... - Sector "a" is in no need of
Hurry.
'Tis better to use your own
Hands and feet than one of your
Lazy, whirligig shortcuts.
Lazy?!
You see this, rebecca?
This is a seed that took years
Of development and hard work to
Make.
So that any sector that needs a
Tree house can just do this.
No!
No! No! No! N-no!
Where is it?!
Where is...
That's how you build a tree
House.
Now you've done it.
You've drawn attention to us.
Splinter cell!
I need my weapons.
[ Panting ]
Aah!
No!
Numbuh 2, catch!
But I thought you were
Opposed to v*olence!
We are, but you're not.
No, I'm not.
Now go!
I'll hold them off.
Look out!
That was close.
Come on.
No!
We can't stop, rebecca.
We have to keep running.
No, we don't, hoagie.
I'm going with them, and so are
You.
W-what?
Hey, numbuh 2.
Numbuh 42, you're in the
Splinter cell?
Splinter cell?! Where?!
Those guys are crazy!
So, are you coming?
Coming? Where?
To watch the "dr. Timespace
In the continuum's" marathon.
Doi-eee!
Please, don't tell
Numbuh jebidiah.
I've been sneaking off with the
Scientists to catch some of the
Episodes.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, - wait.
You mean to tell me you
Scientists have been pretending
To be kidnapped to watch a
Stupid tv show?
Well, yeah.
Everyone else in the kids next
Door always makes fun of us and
Crashes our parties and gives us
Nerd noogies and stuff.
But this "dr. Timespace in the
Continuum's" marathon is a
Secret and will be
Uninterrupted.
So, are you coming?
Mind if I drive?
Last week, on
"Dr. Timespace"...
Chains...
Ha ha ha ha!
Finally, dr. Timespace, I have
Captured you.
Now prepare to...
[ Beeping, whirring ]
I... Have defeated you with
Science!
All: awesome!
06x11 - Operation G.I.R.L.F.R.I.E.N.D.
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.
Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.