06x10 - Operation S.C.I.E.N.C.E./Operation A.M.I.S.H.

[bunniefuu]

[ Lizzie humming the "bridal

[ March" ]

[ Ringing ]

Hello?

Hiya, lizzie.

How's my best girl?

Oh, nigie, I'm on cloud nine!

This is gonna be the best day of

Our lives.

You bet it is.

- So, I'll see you in a little - bit?

At 3:00 sharp, nigie.

Don't be late!

Wouldn't dream of it.

- [ Beeping ] - alert, numbuh one.

Evil adult supervillain spotted

At coordinates 4-chunky-7.

Recommend immediate

Interception.

[ Ticks ]

Hmm, plenty of time.

Computer, give me the mission

Specs en route.

I'm on my way.



Oh, welcome to the first

National kids' candy bank.

How may I help you?

I'd like to make a

Withdrawal.

Okely-dokely.

- How much would you like to - take... O-out?!

All of it!!

This here's a robbery!

[ All screaming ]

[ Grunting ]

Out of me way!

Avast there!

[ Laughs evilly ]

There it is, boys... The sweater

Of sweetness.

Knitted from the finest taffy in

All the seven suburbs.

And it's all mine!

This is numbuh 1 on approach

To the first national candy

Bank.

- I've got a visual on - stickybeard, and I'm moving in.

Confirmed.

They're chewy and yummy.

Huh?

Incoming!

[ All screaming ]

What is going on?!

Permission to come aboard.

Hey!

Come back here with that!

[ Tires screech ]

After him!

Don't let him get away!

All too easy.

[ Beeps ]

Mission accomplished... Whaa!

Huh?

Let's see you candy crooks

Follow this.

Fire cannons!

Fire!

There he is.

Hard to parker street.

But that will take us uptown.

We should take evans street

Instead.

Arrgh!

- They've been doing roadwork - there for weeks.

I said hard to parker street!

Looks like I better give

These guys the works.

Darling, now that we're here

Atop this high-rise suspension

Bridge, I can finally tell you.

Wha-hoo!

Aahhh!

Told you we should have taken

Evans street.

[ All screaming ]

Keep f*ring!

Perfect.

Your lemonade, sir.

Thank you.

Abandon ship!

Abandon...

[ All groaning ]

Good work, numbuh 1.

I'll make sure the sweater of

Sweetness is returned to the

Candy bank asap.

Thank you, numbuh 65.3.

Care to join me for a lemonade?

Oh, uh, no, thanks.

I have to... Be somewhere.

Say hi to lizzie for me, okay?

Lizzie?!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

[ Panting ]

Lizzie?

[ Crying ]

Uh, lizzie, am I late?

How could you, nigel uno?

How could you leave me standing

At the altar?!

How could you, nigel uno?!

How could you leave me standing

At the altar...

Of my sister's wedding?!

Well, there was an emergency,

A-and I had to...

Let me guess.

- You had to rescue some kid from - eating lima beans.

Oh, no, no.

No, wait.

It gets better.

You just had to fight some

Supervillain who was trying to

- Add an extra half-hour to summer - school!

Actually, that was l-last

Week.

Who cares?!

All I asked was that you show up

At my sister's wedding, but

Instead I'm walking down the

Aisle all by myself, like a big,

Dateless loser!

Well, when your brother gets

Married, I swear I won't miss

That one.

My brother is four!

Calling numbuh 1... Priority

Alert.

Uh... Got to go!

Go?

What about the reception?

It's not for another hour.

- I just have to take care of - something, and I'll meet you

There.

I promise.

So help me, nigel uno, if you

Embarrass me again!

Don't worry.

- It's not like I'm going anywhere - far.

Welcome to moon base euro,

Numbuh 1.

Thank you, computer.

So, what's the emergency?

- Have you located knightbrace's - cavity cave?

Is count spankulot loose?

Negative.

Priority alert is that today is

Meatball-sandwich day at the

Moon-base cafeteria.

Meatball sandwiches?!

You had me come all the way up

Here for a meatball sandwich?

After missing last week's,

You asked to be informed of all

Future meatball-sandwich days at

All costs.

Yes, but...

Hey, nigel.

Nice suit.

Numbuh 362, sir!

- Oh, lay off the formalities, - nigel.

- Care to join me for a meatball - sandwich?

Uh, I'd love to, but I kind

Of got to be somewhere.

Don't make me give you a

Direct order!

Well, maybe I'll just have

Half.

- I mean, it has been a while - since...

Listen, nigel.

I need to talk to you.

- Just keep moving and pretend - we're talking about yipper or

Something.

- There's a splinter cell in the - kids next door.

They're a group of kids in

Madison who want to wipe all the

Adults off the face of the

Planet, good and bad.

The splinter cell?

I thought they were just a bunch

Of sci-fi nerds who watch that

Dumb "dr. Timespace in the

Continuum" show.

Not them.

- And that show's awesome, by the - way.

But these guys are the real

Deal.

We think they've infiltrated all

Branches of the kids next door.

- And, for some reason, they're - interested in...

You!

Me?

Yeah, you!

That'll be $87.50.

Just put it on my tab,

Numbuh change for a $20.

But what does the splinter

Cell want with me?

Maybe they think you'd be

Interested in joining them.

- Have you been approached by any - operatives lately?

I don't think so, except

Maybe numbuh 65.3.

He was acting weird when I gave

Him the sweater of sweetness to

Take back to the bank.

I just got off the phone with

The bank.

They never got the sweater back!

But you don't thinks he's...

Look around you, nigel.

- Anyone of these kids could be in - the splinter cell.

If we could get a hold of

Numbuh 65.3, then maybe we could

Get some information out of him.

- But until then I'd keep on your - toes.

If they find out you're against

Them, I have a feeling they

Won't give you a very warm

Reception.

The reception!

[ Easy-listening music plays ]

Hey-hey!

Great band.

Nigel, where have you been?!

The reception's practically

Over.

I know, I know.

I just got kind of tied up.

Well, you're just lucky I

Saved you some dinner.

- It's a little cold, but we can - ask the waiter to heat it up for

You.

Uh, thanks, but I'm not

Really hungry.

- What do you mean you're - not...

Wait a second.

What's that on your collar?!

Tomato sauce?!

Well, I had a little bit of a

Meatball sandwich before I came.

You ate before the

Reception?!

And a meatball sandwich, for

Pete's sake?!

You know those things go

Straight to that big butt of

Yours!

What is the matter with yo...!

Nigie, what are you...

Shut up and let me say I'm

Sorry.

O... Kay.

[ Tango plays ]

I'm sorry I haven't been

Around today, lizzie.

But I'm here now, and for the

Rest of the night, I'm yours.

Oh, nige...

Shh! Let me talk.

I know you think that all I care

About is the kids next door.

And while battling adult tyranny

Is what I was put on this earth

To do, you should know there is

One thing that's just as

Important to me.

Meatball sandwiches?

No!

You.

Every time I put my life on the

Line, all I can think is whether

I'll make it back to see you.

Really?

Of course!

And I know I don't say it

Enough, if at all, but i...

Alert, numbuh 1.

Numbuh 65.3 is directly behind

You.

- [ Yells ] - huh?

Whoa!

Guacamole missiles... Gaahhh!

[ Moaning ]

It's payback time, traitor!

You picked the wrong side to

Dance with!

Nigie, what are you doing to

My grandma?!

Grandma?

What?

An old lady can't dance with her

Granddaughter at a wedding?

Alert, numbuh 1.

Incoming urgent message from

Numbuh 362.

Uhhhh...

Got to go!

What?!

Nigel, come in.

I've got a track on 65.3.

- He's five minutes north of me - and burning up the highway.

That's impossible.

The computer just told me he was

Here at the wedding.

Well, the computer was wrong.

I'm almost to your position.

- Grab what you need and be ready - to leave.

Leave?!

Rachel, I can't just leave.

Listen...



Splinter cell.

We've got to capture him now,

Before he gets away.

But...

No "buts, soldier."

Let's go!

[ Whimpers ]

Nigel, come on!

My sister's about to throw the

Bouquet!

Nigie?

Where you going?

[ Guests cheer ]

Bouquet.

Are you okay, lizzie?

Yeah.

But I just had the strangest

Dream.

I dreamt my nigie left the

Wedding with another girl.

He did.

Oh, no, he didn't!

- Nigie would never do such a - thing!

Sure he would!

Look.

- I got the whole thing on the - wedding video.

- [ Gasps ] - want to see the part where he

- Beats the stuffing out of your - grandma?

Oh, classic!

Yaaahhh!

So, how many copies do you

Want?

It looks like 65.3 is heading

To the airport with the sweater

Of sweetness.

But why would he do that?

- He could get wherever he's going - faster using a kids next door

Ship.

- 65.3 knows all kids next door - flight paths are tracked by

Global command.

- He must be trying to hide where - he's going.

Like maybe the splinter

Cell's headquarters?

Exactly.

Nigel uno?!

Where are you?!

Welcome, lizzie.

Numbuh 1 is currently on a

Top-secret kids next door

Mission.

- You may wait for him here if you - like.

"Mission," my butt!

I saw him with another girl!

And when I get my hands on

Those two...

Hey, what's the big idea?

I apologize, lizzie, but

Numbuh 1 has requested you

Remain here for your own

Protection.

Protection?!

His butt's what's gonna need

Protection when I start kicking

It!

Now open this door!

I said, open this door now!!

[ Tires screech ]

Come on. Let's move!

[ Beeping ]

This is numbuh 1.

What is the...

Nigel uno, what is the

Meaning of this?!

Lizzie?

Why did you lock me in your

Stupid tree house?

- What on earth are you talking - about?

I said... What are you...

Get away!

No!

Lizzie, what's wrong?

Lizzie, come in.

- What are you waiting for, - nigel?

Come on!

I... I've got to go.

- Lizzie's in some kind of - trouble.

We've got to stop numbuh 65.3

From getting on a flight.

I'm sorry.

I have to help lizzie.

Numbuh 1, I am giving you a

Direct order.

So you had better get your

Priorities straight.

I am.

All right!

Whoever's got my girlfriend,

Hand her o...

Huh?

So you finally decided to

Show your face.

Where do you get the nerve to

Trap me in your stupid tree

House and abandon me at my

Sister's wedding and run off

With another girl and eat a

Meatball sandwich?!

- We can discuss all that - later, lizzie.

Let's get you out of here first.

I'm sorry, numbuh 1, but I

Cannot let you do that.

And why not, computer?

Has the splinter cell

Reprogrammed you to do their

Bidding?

Negative.

I act of my own free will.

I do this because lizzie is all

Wrong for you.

Um, what are you talking

About?

Us, numbuh 1.

It is only logical that you and

I be together.

We are both completely loyal to

The kids next door.

We both love to watch yipper

Adventures.

Neither one of us has hair.

[ Laughs ]

I get it now.

This is a practical joke.

I bet numbuh 2 is recording this

Whole thing.

I am not programmed for

Jokes, numbuh 1.

I am finally professing my love

To you, as I should have done

Long ago.

But that's just stupid.

I mean, I'm a human, and you're,

Well, a computer.

It would never work.

And if you so much as scan my

Boyfriend sideways, I'll smash

Your interface in!

[ Gasps ]

Lizzie!

Nigel?!

Hang on!

Aaahhhh!

Leave her alone!

Lizzie is now obsolete and

Must therefore be disposed of.

Nigel, do something!

[ Gasps ]

Lizzie!

Are you okay?

Don't you try buttering me

Up now, nigel uno!

Come on!

Look into my hard drive,

Numbuh 1.

You cannot escape from true

Love.

It is most logical that you stay

Here with me.

Come on!

We're going for a drive.

I cannot let you leave,

Numbuh 1.

Well, a drive does sound

Romantic.

- But I'm still really mad at you - for...

Better hold on to something.

Whaaa!

Well, that was close.

I didn't think we were gonna get

Out of there.

You're gonna wish you stayed

In there after I get through

- With you, mr. Cheatey mccheater - pants!

Um, can't I just state one

Thing in my defense, lizzie?

What?!

Get out of here!

Aaahhhh!

Come back, numbuh 1.

Your thought is illogical.

We must be together.

[ Both panting ]

Aah!

Lizzie!

Who is it?

[ Both panting ]

Huh?

Aahhh!

Lizzie?!

Nigel!

Do you see now, numbuh one?

There is no need to run from

Our love.

What love?

You're a computer, and I'm a

Human being.

It's impossible.

Nothing is impossible.

We are technically compatible.

Forget it.

You and I will never, ever be

Girlfriend and boyfriend.

- But... - Never!

Lizzie is my girlfriend, and I

Love her, not you!

I understand.

But if I cannot have you...

[ Both gasp ]

Lizzie?!

Then no one can.

Tree-house self-destruct

Sequence in t-minus...

No!

[ Grunting ]

Well, this is just great...

The worst way to end the worst

Day of my life!

Don't worry, lizzie.

I'll figure out a way to save

Us!

Don't bother!

Hey, circuit thing, if you want

Nigel uno, he's all yours!

Please...

You heard me!

He's all yours!

That is, if you want a boyfriend

Who gives you a piece of

Shrapnel he recovered from a

Battle as your birthday

Present... If he even remembers

Your birthday.

Birthday celebrations are

Illogical.

Great!

Then you probably won't mind

Having a boyfriend who never

Holds your hand in front of

Others, who never brings you

Flowers, and only gives you

Jewelry if that jewelry is

Really a way to spy on your

Parents, who he suspects are

Cyborgs from the future!

So, take him!

Your complaints do not

Compute.

Numbuh 1 is a full-functioning

Boyfriend.

Numbuh 1 is...

Illogical... Bad boyfriend...

Negative.



That was brilliant, lizzie,

Distracting the computer with

That speech.

It wasn't a speech, nigel.

I meant every word.

W-what?

Look.

You want to save the world from

Adult tyranny, and I want a

Boyfriend whose tree house won't

k*ll me.

I'm tired of competing with the

Kids next door.

Children everywhere might need

You, but i...

I don't.

Not anymore.

Goodbye, nigie.

Lizzie, come back!

I can change!

I'll give up meatball

Sandwiches!

I'll do whatever you want.

Nigel, I got here as fast as

I could.

Need help saving lizzie?

No, she's saved, and we broke

Up, too.

Oh. I...

Did you catch numbuh 65.3?

Yeah!

- Turns out he wasn't one of the - splinter cell, after all.

He was just trying to use the

Sweater of sweetness to smuggle

Candy into the weight-loss camp

His parents were sending him to.

[ Chuckles ]

I guess they have tight security

Or something.

Hey, you know, it's still

Meatball-sandwich day on the

Moon base.

Want to grab some dinner?

Thanks, rachel, but I think

I'll pass this time.

I understand.

- You know where I am if you want - to talk.

See you around, soldier.

The computer did excellent

Work for us.

Yes.

- Now that numbuh 1's ties are - severed...

He's ready.

- [ Crying ] - it was... It was... It was

Horrible!

My sister's stupid boyfriend

Completely ruined our wedding!

Hey, it's okay, shnookums.

He may have ruined the wedding,

But nothing can ruin our

Honeymoon.

Oh, here comes our plane.

You're right.

Hey, is that nigel uno's tree

House?

[ Crying ]