04x05 - The Trouble With Darwin

[bunniefuu]

This is me, Eliza Thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is Donnie-- we found him.

And Darwin? He found us.

(jabbering )

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves.

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

(panting )

And between you and me

something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.



]

(chattering... )

(squawking... )

(horn trumpets like elephant )

(horn trumpets )

Pardon us, wildebeests.

I'm afraid we've no time for dilly-dallying.

Not if we want to make it on time

to film the grand opening

of the chimpanzee sanctuary.

(wildebeests grunting )

Move it! We're in a hurry!

(grunting like wildebeest )

Has anyone besides me

noticed that my geeky sister

has switched to mondo geek mode?

All because she's going to meet that chimp woman.

Chimp woman?

Egad, Debra, Dr. Jane Goodall is a renowned ethologist.

She's studied chimpanzees for years.

And...?

And Eliza's adulation is perfectly understandable.

You see, pumpkin, we who live in the limelight

are often idolized by fans.

(laughs )

Hopefully, Dr. Goodall won't be mobbed

like I was last Wednesday.

What's he talking about?

A Japanese tour group recognized him

in the train station last week.

Said they needed

directions to the snack bar

but I was on to them.

I autographed everyone's ticket.

Darwin, when Jane Goodall was a kid

her favorite books were The Story of Dr.Dolittle andTarzan.

They're my favorite books, too!

Guess where she liked to do her homework.

Up in a tree!

Just like me!

Oh, Darwin, when she and I meet

it's going to be like two old friends

who've known each other forever.

Two old friends?

I spent my formative years up a tree. Hmph!

Do you think she'll like me?

Of course, she'll love you.

After all, she's devoted her life to chimps.

Oh, I like her already!

Are we almost there?

Hello.

And welcome to the opening of our chimp sanctuary.

(Donnie jabbering )

Is Dr. Goodall here yet?

She'll be arriving soon.

Hey, I've seen you before!

Oh... once again I've been spotted.

Ohh...!

Aren't you the guy who put up the fence last summer?

Groupies... (chuckles )

A tricky bunch.

Come on, Darwin, let's have a look around.

This looks like a wonderful place

for the orphan chimps.

What do you mean, orphan?

Sadly, poachers often k*ll the mums

to capture the baby chimps.

They get a good price for them

on the black market.

If the officials are lucky enough

to rescue the infants

they just can't return them to the wild.

How come?

Baby chimps can't survive

without their mothers.

They're helpless.

Whoa, poor little hairy things.

That's why they're building chimp sanctuaries--

so the infants can live together in a safe place

and be taken care of by keepers.

With plenty of trees to forage in and vines to swing from...

Wow...!

(jabbering )

Whee.. wow... whee!

DEBBIE: Come on, perpetual motion boy, get down from there.

(jabbering )

Debbie, you did such a good job

taking care of Donnie

all those days we were out in the bush.

Why don't you take a break?

Yes, Debra.

Besides, I rigged up a little something

to keep Donnie occupied.

There we go.

(beep, whirring )

DONNIE: Ooh...

Whee... whoo... aha!

Great idea, Dad.

I'm out of here.

Excuse me, which way to the gift shop?

There... there isn't one.

But we do have a conservation education center

and it's that building over there.

(laughs )

Beggars can't be choosers.

Later!

Hello?

Oh, good, you're here! You must be the new recruit.

Hey, hey, hey! Sorry to put you to work right away

but I got to run and get some supplies.

I'll be right back.

Wait, wait, I'm not...

really into monkeys.

(chimps chattering )

DARWIN: Ah...

(munching )

So what do you think?

Should I call her Jane or Dr. Goodall?

Well...

How about Dr. Jane?

I think...

You know, I don't want to sound too formal

but she is practically a legend, you know.

It seems to me...

Still no sign of her.

(sighs )

Thanks.

I know, I know, no sense in worrying.

She'll be here.

I like it when you read my mind.

(vehicle approaching )

ELIZA: Darwin, it's her!

It's Jane Goodall!

I can't believe I'm going to meet her.

Hurry up, Dar! We got to get out of this tree.

You don't have to tell me twice.

It's almost lunch time.

What a fantastic day for a grand opening.

(panting )

Wow... hi, Dr. Goodall.

I'm Eliza Thornberry

and I'm so excited to meet you.

You're my biggest fan!

I mean...

(chuckles )

It's nice to meet you, too, Eliza.

We have so much in common.

I love animals, I've read all your books.

And I even named a goldfish Jane after you.

(chuckles ) That's quite an honor.

Thank you.

And the thing we have most in common is...

we both love chimps.

Dr. Goodall, I'd like to

introduce you to Darwin.

(hooting )

(hoots softly )

Hmm... he's not very responsive.

Darwin, would you like a banana?

Hmph!

Doesn't like bananas...

wears clothes...

he's obviously much too old

to be one of the orphan chimps

here at the sanctuary.

And actually...

he's a bit heavy.

(sighs )

Dr. Goodall, Darwin doesn't live here.

He lives with me.

Is he your pet?

Oh, no, he's my best friend.

Eliza, chimpanzees are meant to live

free, undisturbed lives in the wild.

But really, Darwin's not like other chimps.

That's because he's been domesticated.

It's not right to turn a magnificent chimpanzee into a pet.

If you've read my books, you know how I feel about that.

I know, but...

See, if you knew Darwin like I do...

MARIANNE: Dr. Goodall?

Hello, I'm Marianne Thornberry and this is my husband, Nigel.

Oh, what a pleasure to finally meet you.

(laughing and mumbling )

Nigel, are you all right?

Oh... it's all too... and it's most, um...

Oh, the pleasure... I...

No, he's fine.

It's just that he's a big fan. We both are.

Well, that's very flattering

but no need for formality.

You're quite famous yourself, Nigel.

Oh...

While Nigel is recovering

why don't you and I go over our list of sh*ts

for the day's events?

That's a great idea.

She was nice.

Of course, I hate bananas, but still...

Eliza, are you all right?

(crying )

Eliza, what's the matter?

Dr. Goodall doesn't think you should live with me!

(crying... )

(panting and hooting )

(both panting... )

(groans )

Oh... tell me again

why we had to run all this way.

Everything's gone wrong.

My hero thinks I'm a terrible person.

Why would she think that?

Because... because of you.

What?! Me?!

But I'm a perfectly charming chimpanzee.

Granted, I don't have the boyish figure I used to.

Maybe it's this outfit.

Horizontal lines do make me look a little hippy.

It's not you, it's you living with us.

She doesn't think chimps should be domesticated.

She thinks I'm domesticated? Ha!

That will be the day.

I mean, she thinks it's wrong

to keep you from living in the wild.

But I don't want to live in the wild.

That's why I moved in with you.

I know that and you know that

but Dr. Goodall doesn't.

Can't you just tell her

that you've checked with me and it's okay?

Oh... can't tell the secret

because then you'll lose your power

to talk to animals.

Which I have to admit includes me.

Exactly.

(screeching... )

Oh... uh... oh, hold your horses, I'm coming!

Uh, hey...

where do you think you're going?

(screeching )

Uh, guh... let go, you little furball, eww!

Ow, you... ow... knock it off.

What do you think you're doing?

Would you get down?

(chimps quiet down )

Are you happy now?

Well, all right, but...

if I get split ends, you're all pitching in

for deep conditioning.

(rustling, birds chirp )

Oh, just because you and Dr. What's-her-name aren't best friends

it's not the end of the world.

It is to me.

(chattering... )

(grunting )

(gasps, grunts )

Hey, what's the big idea?

(panting ): They're here...

You shouldn't be...

Get out of here while you can!

What is he babbling about?

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying.

No time! Got to hurry!

I wonder what's going on?

Oh, he's probably just late for lunch.

Far be it from me to stand between a forest hog

and his meal at lunch time.

And speaking of lunch...

Eliza, can't we head back to camp?

Oh, okay, but...

I don't want to see Dr. Goodall

till I figure this out.

Where are you going?

Our camp is that way.

No, it isn't, Darwin, it's over there.

I distinctly remember coming from this direction.

(rustling, clang )

Aah, aah!

Darwin!

(screeching )

A trap!

There must be poachers around.

Oh, it won't open!

Get me out of here!

(grunting )

I bet that forest hog was trying to warn us!

Hurry, Eliza!

Poached chimpanzee

doesn't have a very nice ring to it.

Darwin, calm down.

Listen to me.

Stay very quiet.

I'll go get help.

(panting... )

Hurry...

(jabbering... )

GOODALL: To answer your questions, Nigel.

Chimpanzees are so like us

that they blur the line that was once thought to be so sharp

between humans and animals.

It gives us a new respect

for all the other amazing beings

with whom we share the planet.

MARIANNE: Psst!

Hey, Nigel. Nigel!

Oh! Right-o.

Um... when we finish here

do you think I could have

a snapshot taken with you, Dr. Goodall?

(panting... )

(gasps ) The poachers!

Don't worry, Darwin!

I'm coming!

Oh, no, he's gone!

Darwin, where are you?

(gasps )

Stop! I need your help!

Sorry, can't.

The men are chasing us!

Please, they have my friend!

Well, I can tell you where they are.

Under the big tree by the river.

But you better hurry-- they're loading up the animals.

Thanks!

(chattering... )

(hooting and screeching )

(hooting )

(hooting )

Pipe down, monkey!

(hooting and screeching )

(radio static )

(radio static, gasps )

Do you hear something?

It's probably that loudmouth monkey again.

(whispering ): You were right about the radio, Dar.

I just hope someone's out there to hear me.

Hello, is anybody there?

If you can hear me, this is an emergency.

There are poachers about a mile from the sanctuary.

They're parked near a baobab tree by the river.

They're loading their truck.

Please come as quick as you can.

Oh!

Oh...

(gasps )

What are you doing here?

Help!

Keep an eye on her. I'll get the rope.

Poachers? We've got to be quick.

Let's take the Commvee.

I'll bring the camera.

MARIANNE: Donnie, let's go!

(beep, whirring )

Call security.

Tell them to meet us under the baobab at the riverbank.

Oh, what are we going to do, Eliza?

(mumbling )

What's that again?

(mumbling ): The rope... chew the rope!

Thrope... ah, rope! I get it!

Um, is there anyone here who can chew through rope?

Let me at 'em!

(chomping )

(chimps snoring )

(chatters )

Oh, I am so sorry.

I just found my recruit outside.

I didn't mean to leave a visitor with...

Wow... I've never seen them

take to a human so quickly before.

Well, just don't tell me I remind them of their mother.

That would be so not the look that I'm going for.

(laughs )

Well, actually, they love to grab hair.

It's warm and comforting to them

so you probablydo remind them of their moms.

Really? (chuckles )

You know, I'm not really doing anything today.

I guess I could hang around a little longer.

There they are...

by the baobab.

Let's park here so we won't be seen.

Oh, it doesn't look like security has arrived yet.

Perhaps it would be best to wait for a little backup.

Sorry, but there's no time. We have to act now.

Nigel, do you know the call of the green-breasted bush shrike?

Whoa... (twittering )

Not bad.

If you see anything

that will be our signal.

Marianne, we're going to need evidence

so start filming.

But Dr. Goodall, what are you going to do

when you encounter those poachers?

I'm not sure.

Wish me luck.

(chomping )

Oh... thanks.

No problem. I bet you'd do the same thing for me.

(grunting )

Don't worry, I'll be back as soon as I can.

But Eliza, what are you going to do?

I'm not sure.

Wish me luck.

(animal chattering )

Okay, let's get out of here!

Oh...

(air hissing... )

(air hissing )

(air hissing... )

(giggles )

(both gasp )

Dr. Goodall?

Eliza?

What are you doing here?

The poachers took Darwin

and I had to find a way to stop them

so I'm... letting the air out of their tires.

Must be true that great minds think alike.

Way to go, Dr. Goodall.

They won't get very far now.

(engine starts )

(clunking )

What's wrong?

It's the tires!

They're flat!

Did we hit something?

No!

(Nigel whistles like bird )

That's your dad's signal.

Come on, let's go.

You're not going anywhere.

Look, it's the girl we tied up!

(grunting )

(horn trumpets )

(panting... )

Aah...!

Your poaching days are over, gentlemen!

(horn trumpets )

(jabbers, chuckles )

(beep, whirring )

Aah...!

(grunting )

Let me out of here!

MARIANNE: Eliza, are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine, Mom.

We both are.

GOODALL: And it looks as if they'll be

out of business for while.

(Donnie laughing )

I must say, it was a brilliant idea

to let the air out of their tires.

BOTH: Thanks.

(both laugh )

Eliza and I make a pretty good team.

(chattering )

Darwin! Where are you?!

(Darwin screeches, hoots )

Oh, thank you!

I was beginning to wonder

if I was going to get out of there alive!

Me, too.

Oh, I don't know what I'd do

if anything ever happened to you, Darwin.

(Eliza hooting )

(Darwin hooting )

Oh, what a nightmare!

Shut up in that awful truck.

I nearly passed out from the smell!

I'm not pointing any fingers

but did you get a whiff of that bush pig?

I heard that!

A... strong but earthy scent.

Phew...!

(laughs )

Eliza, you're a brave young woman.

I was really impressed by what you did today.

Thank you.

I did itfor Darwin, but...

I also couldn't have done it without him.

Yes, he's pretty special, too.

Dr. Goodall?

Yes, Eliza?

I definitely think it's wrong to keep a chimp as a pet.

And to make them do tricks

or dress them up...

I see.

And I promise, I would never ever

do that with any other wild animal on earth.

But Darwin's not...

Like other animals.

Yes, how did you know?

I'm pretty observant.

That's my job, after all.

And I'd say you two have an almost...

magical relationship.

Wouldn't you?

(gasps )

I guess you could say that.

(chuckles )

Eliza, I'll make a deal with you.

You keep Darwin, but you help me

spread the word about chimps in captivity. Deal?

Deal.

(Donnie jabbering )

(screeches and hoots )

Now... what's the story with Donnie?

"To Nigel...

my colleague in nature."

(laughing ): Oh, super! Thank you.

The film is going to be terrific!

We can really get the word out about poaching, Dr. Goodall.

Please, after all we've been through...

call me Jane.

Me, too?

I, I, I mean... um, may I? Um, I...

I... oh, I think I best call Mumsy right away!

Is he always this tongue-tied?

Nigel? Usually you can't keep him quiet.

(both laugh )

So, you're staying with me.

Just you... no other chimps.

It's almost like she knows my secret.

Well, whatever it takes to convince her

that I belong here, where there's

ice cream and hot fudge

and spoons and... (gulps )

You really aren't like other chimps.

(gulps )

Let me finish.

...and my best friend.

(hooting... )

What's that?

(hooting... )

(hooting... )

I wonder what's wrong with them?

(all hooting... )

DEBBIE: What?

(laughs )

Oh, all right.

But this doesn't go outside this sanctuary, okay?

I have a reputation, you know.

(hooting )

(chimps chattering )

(all laughing... )

GOODALL: Eliza and I make a pretty good team.