01x01 - Gets Lost in Space

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Magic School Bus". Aired: September 10, 1994 – December 6, 1997.*
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Ms. Frizzle embarks on adventures with her class on the eponymous school bus.
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01x01 - Gets Lost in Space

Post by bunniefuu »

[Beep beep]

Seat belts, everyone!

Please let this be

A normal field trip.

With the friz?

All: no way!

Ohh!

♪ Cruisin' on down main street ♪

♪ You're relaxed

And feelin' good ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Next thing that you know,

You're seein' ♪

Wa-ha-ha-hoo!

♪ An octopus

In the neighborhood! ♪

♪ Surfin' on a sound wave ♪

♪ Swingin' through the stars ♪

♪ Take a left

At your intestine ♪

♪ Take your second right

Past mars ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Navigate a nostril ♪

♪ Climb on

The magic school bus ♪

♪ Spank a plankton, too ♪

Take that!

♪ On our magic school bus ♪

♪ Raft a river of lava ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Such a fine thing to do! ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ So strap your bones

Right to the seat ♪

♪ Come on in and don't be shy ♪

♪ Just to make

Your day complete ♪

♪ You might get baked

Into a pie ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Step inside,

It's a wilder ride ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ride on

The magic school bus ♪

[Beep beep]

Pass me that one next,

Phoebe.

Ok, ralphie.

It's going to be a model

Of the solar system.

Neat, huh, janet?

I hate to tell you,

Cousin arnold,

But when my class

Built one,

The sun was so huge,

We had to hang it

From the flagpole.

And you had

All planets?

That's right, keesha.

Mercury, venus,

Earth, mars, jupiter,

Saturn, uranus,

Neptune, pluto.

My class already studied

The solar system.

I bet you your class

Didn't learn about

The aliens that live

On the planets.

For your information,

Ralphie,

Earth is the only planet

That can support life,

As far as we know.

And how far do you know?

[Laughter]

Really far because

I got straight as

On all my tests,

And this proves it.

If you already

Know so much, janet,

Why did you come

To visit our class?

Because arnold told me

All about your field trips,

Dorothy ann.

What did he say?

That they were--

And I quote--

"Highly unusual."

And you know what I said?

Prove it!

She's really nice

Once you get to know her.

Oh, good morning, class.

Have you all met

Arnold's cousin--janet?

All:

Yes, ms. Frizzle.

My teacher doesn't

Dress like that.

That's nothing.

Sometimes the friz

Looks totally

Outrageous.

Well, since we're lucky

Enough to have

A guest today,

I'd say it's a perfect

Time for a field trip!

Yes!

All right!

Hey, cuz, now's your

Chance to prove it.

I wonder where

We're going today.

Inside a rotten log?

Been there.

To the bottom of the

Ocean? Done that.

We're going

To the planetarium?

Hardly unusual, arnold.

The friz

Taking us on

A normal field trip?

Believe me,

That's unusual.

Ms. Frizzle:

Hmm hmm hmm. How odd.

Closed today.

Closed?

Well, looks like we'll just

Have to go back to school.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Some field trip, arnold.

You know what?

My teacher would

Have called ahead

Because

My teacher plans ahead.

My teacher never

Makes mistakes.

My teacher is

A zillion times

Better than your--

Nobody is better

Than ms. Frizzle.

Oh, yeah?

Prove it.

Stop the bus!

[Tires screech]

Yes, arnold?

Isn't there,

You know,

Someplace else

You could take us?

You mean...

Another planetarium?

Well, sort of,

But bigger!

Bigger?

You know.

The big one.

Oh! Arnold,

Why didn't I think of that?

"T" minus and counting.

, , , ...

Blast-off!

Janet:

What's happening?

All but janet: a field trip!

Into outer space?

Highly unusual.

Welcome to outer space,

Class,

The only planetarium

Open hours a day,

Days a week!

And how are

All my astronauts doing?

[Students laughing]

We're weightless!

We're in trouble!

No, arnold,

We're in orbit

Around the earth!

Hmm. Let's see, now.

We are just about...

There.

Wonderful!

Let the tour begin!

We're coming up

To the sun.

Tim:

Look how huge it is!

Ms. Frizzle:

Class, are you all wearing

Your special heavy-duty

Sun block , sun goggles?

I wonder how many earths

Would fit in the sun.

Over a million.

Hold on to your goggles!

Yee-hah!

So, class, we've

Traveled from earth,

Around the sun, and now

We are on our way to--

Mercury, the closest

Planet to the sun.

When I tell my class,

They're gonna be so jealous.

Students:

Wow! We're landing!

Ms. Frizzle: of course!

Arnold:

Told you, janet.

We hardly weigh

Anything compared to

My old planet earth.

I wonder if that means

There's less gravity

Pulling on us here.

Exactly, keesha.

Good thinking.

Come along, class.

Follow the bouncing lizard.

This way, please.

[Students laughing]

Bet I can jump higher

Than you, dorothy ann.

You're on!

I won first place

In my class jumping contest.

Here's my blue ribbon

To prove it.

Wait till I tell my class

I won the jumping contest

On mercury, too!

But you know what

They're gonna say?

What?

Prove it!

How on earth--

I mean, how am I gonna

Prove I was on mercury?

Ralphie:

Man! The aliens on mercury

Sure make big footprints.

Nothing can live on

Mercury, ralphie.

It's too hot and dry

During the day.

And, according

To my research, way

Below freezing at night.

And day or night,

There's no air,

Which makes it

Extremely difficult...

[Inhales]

To breathe.

Well, something had to

Make tracks this big.

Something did,

Ralphie.

A meteorite.

Meteorites are pieces

Of stone or iron

That fall from space.

Come along, class.

Carlos:

If the ones that

Hit the planet

Are called meteorites,

What do you call

The ones that miss?

Wanda:

What?

Meteorwrongs!

[Students laughing]

Wow!

Janet, what are

You doing?

Hey! Watch it!

Eureka!

My very own meteorite!

When I show

This to my class,

It will prove

I was on mercury.

Ohh, janet.

Ride 'em, cowbus!

Wa-hoo!

Ms. Frizzle:

We are now approaching--

Janet: venus, the second

Planet from the sun.

I can't wait!

I can't wait!

I can't wait!

Wanda:

Cool! Venus has clouds,

Just like earth.

Wow! What a view!

Uh, I think I'll

Go...sit down now.

Come along, class.

Hey! Unh!

I feel like I weigh the same

Here as I do on earth.

That's because

Venus is about

The same size as earth

And has about

The same gravity.

Come on, arnold.

Check out

Those weird clouds.

Oh, good!

A little rain will

Cool the place down!

Except that's not rain water

In those clouds, wanda.

It's sulfuric acid.

Sulfuric acid?

Mm-hmm.

It's a deadly poison.

Oh, we're

Perfectly safe

As long as we keep

Our spacesuits on.

[Students gulp]

I like rocks,

But this is ridiculous.

Unh!

Do you have to have

All of these?

Absolutely.

If this doesn't prove I

Was on venus, nothing will.

Ms. Frizzle:

We're now passing

Through the orbit

Of the third planet,

Which is earth.

Phoebe:

Look. It's so beautiful.

And there's air

We can breathe.

Keesha:

And it's not

Too hot

Or not too cold.

Arnold: the only one

That supports life.

Janet: and coming up

Is mars...

The fourth planet,

Right, ms. Frizzle?

Very good, janet.

Ooh, you certainly

Do know your planets.

I got straight as

On all my reports.

All: we know! We know!

Enough already!

Ms. Frizzle:

Ah, here we are, class.

Take a look at mars.

How marvelous!

Tim: it looks like

The whole place

Is rusting.

No wonder it's called

The red planet.

As you can see,

The soil here is

Colored by red dust,

Which has iron in it.

Look at those

Cliffs of ice.

Wanda:

Ice climbing, anyone?

Wow!

All right!

No, thanks.

Too cold,

Too slippery.

Too right.

Who wants

To waste time

Climbing up

An old icecap,

Anyway?

Come on, cuz.

We've got

Work to do!

Janet, stop! Maybe I

Should've stayed home today.

Wanda:

We've made it to the top!

Keesha: I wonder if mars

Could have been another earth

If it had water

And wasn't so cold.

Hmm, maybe.

But as I always say,

Mars is the best place

For ice cream.

Ralphie: ice cream? Where!

Here! I...scream!

Woo woo woo woo!

[Boing]

Woo woo woo!

Let's go!

All: I scream!

[Students laughing]

That's the last ice block.

Great! Now for

Some red dust.

On earth, I had

Simple little chores--

Emptying wastebaskets,

Feeding the fish,

Clearing the table.

Unh!

Unh!

The only thing is,

We've been to mercury,

Venus, and mars so far.

And we haven't seen

A single--uh!

All: alien!

Tell it we surrender!

Hi, guys.

Which way's the bus?

All: arnold!

I knew it was him

The whole time.

Ha ha!

Ahem.

Mars ice and dust.

Enough to prove

We were on mars.

No need to thank me.

I don't think

There's much chance

Of that, janet.

Look! A flying potato!

Janet: that's no potato.

It's an asteroid, ralphie.

A hunk of space rock

Smaller than a moon, but

Bigger than a meteorite.

Ms. Frizzle: it's part of

The asteroid belt,

A ring of asteroids

Which divides

Our solar system

Into the inner

And outer planets.

[Ding]

Whoa!

Whoa!

What happened?

An asteroid!

Ha ha! I've got

To have one!

Please. It will

Only take me a second.

Watch out!

Ralphie: what was that?

Dorothy ann: what happened?

Phoebe:

What's going on?

Ms. Frizzle:

Don't worry, class.

Just an unexpected

Orbital interruption.

Let's just see

Where we are,

Shall we?

The map!

It's gone!

[Students gasp]

We're lost in space!

Students: we're lost

In space!

As I always say,

There's nothing

A good space

Mechanic can't fix.

Wrench.

Wrench.

Pliers.

Uh! An asteroid.

I mean, pliers.

Screwdriver.

An asteroid.

Perfect proof!

Tim: ms. Frizzle, we've got

Half of the map now.

Good.

One more adjustment.

Oops!

Ms. Frizzle!

Ms. Frizzle!

Ms. Frizzle!

Ms. Frizzle!

Keep your claw

On that button, liz.

Up, up, and away!

Um, heh heh. Bad news.

Janet, we're not

Only lost in space...

We're lost in space

Without a teacher!

What are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

What are we going to do?

[On radio]

Ms. Frizzle to class.

Ms. Frizzle to class.

Come in.

No reason to panic.

I'd never leave you.

I'm right here.

I'll give you a hint.

I'm headed for one

Of the outer planets.

Tim: but that's the half of

The map that we don't have.

Ms. Frizzle:

Ha ha! Good.

You can fill it in

As you go along.

You've got a navigator who

Knows the neighborhood.

We do?

Ms. Frizzle:

Of course--janet.

[Janet chuckles nervously]

Keesha: I wonder if

Ms. Frizzle's down there.

Tim: wow! Which

Planet is that?

Janet: one of

The gas giants.

Keesha:

What is that red blotch?

Janet: it's a storm

Thousands of miles wide.

And the only planet with

A big red spot is jupiter.

Dorothy ann: jupiter,

The fifth planet.

Students:

All right, janet! Way to go!

Now, if I could just get

Some of that red spot,

It would prove I've

Been to jupiter.

Ms. Frizzle to bus.

Ms. Frizzle to bus. Over.

Jupiter is

The largest planet.

But don't worry, carlos,

Because I'm not on it.

Then where are you?

I've got to have

Some of that red spot!

[Alarm]

Carlos:

We're out of control!

Janet, pull up!

Pull up!

It's all yours,

Ralphie.

Whoa!

All: janet!

Chill out, guys.

If you visit jupiter,

You've got to have

Proof, right?

I knew

I should have

Stayed home today.

Ms. Frizzle to class.

Ms. Frizzle to class.

Come in, please.

Ms. Frizzle,

Janet almost got us--

I got them some of

Jupiter's red spot.

Did you say "red hot"?

You're not even warm yet.

The outer planet I'm on

Is very cold and dark.

The colder you get,

The warmer you'll be

To finding me.

Oh, great.

Now it's a riddle.

Off we go again.

Dorothy ann:

Hey, look!

Another planet!

Phoebe:

It's beautiful!

Keesha: but where are we?

Janet:

It's got to be saturn.

There's no other gas giant

With such beautiful rings.

Saturn,

The sixth planet.

Keesha:

Well, it must be cold

Down there because saturn

Is pretty far away

From the sun.

But ms. Frizzle

Said cold and dark.

It could be very, very

Dark on saturn.

Oh, no, you don't!

You just want to

Grab more stuff.

Hey! I'm just trying to

Help. If you want to play

"Let's find ms. Frizzle

Without a map"

For the rest of your life,

That's fine with me.

Hmph.

Janet's right.

Ms. Frizzle

Could be on saturn,

Couldn't she?

Ok, arnold,

But it's your job

To keep your crazy

Cousin under control.

Ms. Frizzle to bus.

Ms. Frizzle to bus. Over?

Liz and I

Can't wait to show you

All the stars

We can see out here.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

Come back!

What about a hint?

She just gave us

A hint, ralphie.

Ralphie: she did?

Yeah! She can

See the stars,

Which means she

Can't be on saturn.

She could never see

The stars through all

Those storms and clouds.

Planet number

Coming up.

Janet: that must be uranus.

You can tell by

Its tilted, faint-gray rings

And its blue-green gases.

See, cuz, uranus doesn't

Do a thing for me.

So you can get off me, ok?

Sorry, janet,

But I have to stay

On top of the situation.

Tim: the friz couldn't see

The stars through

Those clouds, either.

Phoebe: no way

She's on uranus.

To the next planet!

Janet: wait! I need proof!

And we need ms. Frizzle!

Step on it, wanda!

Hey, watch it!

Janet: neptune! Please!

We got to stop

At neptune!

It's my favorite planet!

Dorothy ann:

The eighth planet--neptune.

Tim: looks like another planet

Surrounded by gases.

Phoebe:

And it's blue.

Blue! My favorite color!

Forget it, janet.

Ms. Frizzle couldn't

See the stars

From down there.

Go, wanda!

Janet: no!

Now where do we go?

She's not on

Jupiter, saturn,

Uranus, or neptune.

That means there's

Only one planet left.

Tim: which one?

I'll tell you

After arnold gets off of me!

Right.

Listen carefully. Ms. Frizzle

Is on the farthest

Planet from the sun--

Pluto.

Wanda: to pluto!

Dorothy ann: pluto is cold

And dark, all right.

Carlos:

And clear! They've

Got to be here.

Ralphie: look!

Phoebe:

There they are!

All: yay!

Good work, class!

We knew you'd find us,

Right, liz?

Sure can see the stars

From here.

I wonder where the sun is.

See that tiny

Star over there?

Uh-huh.

Well, that's it.

That's the sun?

Mm-hmm.

No wonder pluto's

So cold and dark.

Look how far away

The sun is.

So the colder

We got,

The warmer we got

To finding you.

It was a good hint,

If I do say so myself.

I got enough stuff for all of us

To prove we made it to pluto.

All: huh?

Well, what are you

Waiting for? Let's go.

Are you kidding?

There's no room

In there!

All right. Be that way.

Whoa!

There's no way I'm going

Home without my stuff.

There's no way

I'm going home

Without you.

It's proof! Nobody will

Believe me without it.

I'll believe you.

They'll believe you.

Janet,

You want proof?

I'll give you proof.

Here's proof of what

Will happen to you

If you stay here

With your stuff!

Arnold, no!

Oh, cuz!

Back to earth!

And step on it!

[Ah-ah-ah-choo]

Thanks, janet.

Arnold, it's the least

I can do.

If it weren't for you,

I'd still be on pluto

With all my stuff.

I don't need

To prove anything.

That was the most

Amazing field trip ever!

You know it.

I know it.

If no one else believes me,

That's their problem.

Right on!

Wanda:

Way to go, janet!

Tim: you said it.

[Ah-choo]

[Laughter]

Boy: attention,

All students!

We've just learned that

Scientists have made

Their first contact

With an alien from outer space.

An alien.

Wow!

Ralphie was right.

Oh, my.

The alien,

Claiming to be from pluto,

Has called to complain about

A pile of litter

That was recently dumped

On his planet.

All: ralphie!

Ha ha ha!

As I always say, class,

You're out of this world.

[Laughter]

Is this

The magic school bus?

Is this the magic

School bus?

Overlapping voices:

Is this the magic school bus?

Magic school bus?

Magic school bus?

Both: magic school bus?

Overlapping voices:

Magic school bus?

Kids:

I want the magic school bus!

[Telephone ringing]

Hello? Magic school bus.

Female voice: don't you mean

"The twilight zone"?

That show had more

Science fiction than fact.

Well, we realize

A school bus

Would make

A lousy spacecraft.

I'll give you that one,

But only because you call it

A magic school bus.

But there's no way

Any spacecraft could visit

All planets in a day.

Well, if we did it

In real time,

You would be

A grownup by the time

We got to pluto.

Speaking of pluto,

Scientists don't really know

What its surface is like.

You're right,

But until one of

You kids grows up

To be an astronomer

Or an astronaut

And figures out

What pluto is like,

We have to guess.

Also, pluto right now

Isn't the ninth planet

From the sun.

Until , it's temporarily

Inside neptune's orbit.

Right again.

What about those

Funny-looking sun goggles?

I happen to know

You should never look

Directly at the sun.

Hurts your eyes.

You're one bright kid.

So how come

Some of the time

The kids were

Floating around in the bus?

Well, when the bus

Was coasting with

The rocket engines off,

They were weightless,

Like astronauts.

Oh, yeah. So how come

They were able to walk around

In the bus sometime?

Well, would you, uh...

Believe

An artificial gravity

Geoscopic confabulator?

Ha ha ha!

No way.

Ok, you got me.

We just fudged it.

And don't think

I didn't notice

That you had all the planets

Lined up in a neat little row.

Oh, that.

Well, it's true

That planets

Are very rarely all

Lined up like that.

Yeah. Like, almost never.

But it's so much

Easier to keep track

Of them all that way.

You wouldn't want us

To have forgotten one,

Would you?

And another thing:

If an astronaut

Ever does make it to pluto,

She'd better not

Take her helmet off.

You think they'd

End up with more

Than a cold, huh?

She'd end up a block

Of ice, or worse,

Which reminds me

Why I called

In the first place.

Yes?

I'm still waiting

For someone

To get that pile of litter

Off my planet.

♪ Surfin' on a sound wave ♪

♪ Swingin' through the stars ♪

♪ Take a left

At your intestine ♪

♪ Take your second right

Past mars ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Navigate a nostril ♪

♪ Climb on ♪

♪ The magic school bus ♪

♪ Spank a plankton, too ♪

♪ On our magic school bus ♪

♪ Raft a river of lava ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Such a fine thing to do! ♪

♪ So strap your bones

Right to the seat ♪

♪ Come on in and don't be shy ♪

♪ Just to make your day

Complete ♪

♪ You might get baked ♪

♪ Into a pie ♪

♪ On the magic school bus ♪

♪ Step inside,

It's a wilder ride! ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ride on

The magic school bus ♪
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