01x13 - The Muckster

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ ♪ Skiddly ahh bop bow

Get upple on a wubble

Buzz into a bubble

Wubble on the double

And take your face

To a wubbulous place

Scuttle on a shuttle

Waddle in a puddle ♪

♪♪ Ow!

♪♪ ♪ Through the middle

Of a muddle

And dance your feet down

Wubbulous street

Flip, float, flop, and drop

Bottoms up down to the top

Insides, outsides

Here and on

When you get to the end

You go on and on ♪

♪♪ Ooh!

♪♪ Yeah!

♪♪ Ha ha ha ha ha!

♪♪ Ugh!

♪♪ ♪ Scuttle on a shuttle

Waddle in a puddle

Through the middle of a muddle

And dance your feet down

Wubbulous street ♪

♪♪ Hello. Anyone out there?

♪♪ ♪ Get upple on a wubble

Buzz into a bubble ♪

♪♪ Yeah!

♪♪ Tighten up. Get loose.

♪♪ ♪ In the wubbulous world

In the wubbulous world

Of dr. Seuss ♪

♪♪ Yeah.

♪♪ ♪ You can never be

Too clean ♪

Oh, hello there. Hey, don't mind

Me. I'm just cleaning the glass

Of my big-screen tv, huh?

I squeegeed the walls. I've

Dusted the shelves, but this

Still isn't clean.

[Exhales]

I can't see myself. Ah.

Seems that you have the same

Problem I do. Hey, we both can

Learn something from jane

Learn something from jane kangaroo. Heh heh.

Kangaroo. Heh heh.

♪♪ Welcome to the "house and

Home show," where a clean home

Is a beautiful home.

♪♪ Yes. It's time for the "house

And home show," where each week,

We drop in on someone and let

You take a peek. As we go

Through their house with a

Camera and crew, you'll see how

Much cleaner they all are

Than you.

[Applause]

♪♪ The "house and home show"

Features only the best. They

Show houses and homes that

Surpass all the rest. It has

Been my life dream to see myself

Someday with my home bright and

Clean on that screen. Anyway--

Junior, time to come inside now.

Hop to it young--waah!

♪♪ Today's "house and home" is

Brought to you by the muckster.

The muckster because...

♪♪ ♪ You can never be

Too clean ♪

♪♪ Hello, mother.

♪♪ Hello, junior.

♪♪ Mother, you want to play

A game?

♪♪ There's no time, junior.

♪♪ Oh, please?

♪♪ But the place is such a mess.

I've got so much to do.

♪♪ Aww! Please?

♪♪ Oh, junior, wait. Wait.

I know a game. It's called let's

Clean up the house.

♪♪ Again?

♪♪ Well, this time, we'll make a

Race out of it.

♪♪ Mm, ok.

♪♪ That's my good little boy.

♪♪ Be sure to stay tuned. We're

Dropping by soon to surprise

Someone at home. To see who

We've chosen, just keep that

Dial frozen.

♪♪ ♪ You can never be too clean

♪♪ Clean, clean, clean

♪♪ You can never be too neat

♪♪ Neat, neat, neat

♪♪ You can never keep

Your carpet

♪♪ You never keep your carpet

♪♪ Out from under someone's feet

♪♪ Out from under someone's feet

♪♪ So vacuum and revacuum

And again as you repeat

♪♪ You can never be too clean

♪♪ You can never be too neat

♪♪ You can never be too neat ♪

[Crash]

Uh, oops.

♪♪ You can never be too clean.

Yes. That's what we say on the

"House and home show."

♪♪ Yes. I know what you mean.

I'm clean as can be. I'm cleaner

Than clean. Put me on tv.

♪♪ Today we'll be visiting one

Lucky viewer.

♪♪ Oh, yes. If they had any

Taste, they would quite plainly

See that the house and home they

Got to visit is me.

♪♪ Today we'll be visiting

Jane kangaroo.

♪♪ Wouldn't you know it? Who?

♪♪ Yes. We're visiting you,

Jane kangaroo...

♪♪ ♪ Jane kangaroo

"House and home"

Has chosen you ♪

♪♪ And we'll be there soon.

Now a word from our sponsors.

♪♪ The "house and home show"

Coming...

[Crash]

Here today?

♪♪ Ha ha ha!

♪♪ Look at this mess. Look at

This floor. Soon the "house and

Home" bodies will be at

The door.

[Door opens]

♪♪ This door?

♪♪ Aah!

♪♪ Not to worry. Not to care.

You've got cleaning time to

Spare. Oh, I brought you help by

Third-class freight if you'll

Let us demonstrate.

♪♪ Demonstrate? Whoa.

♪♪ Very well. If you insist.

Oh, little cats--

Are you tired of soil and soot

And mossy messes underfoot?

♪♪ Yes.

♪♪ Tired of muck?

♪♪ Tired of mold?

♪♪ Tired of tire tracks two

Years old?

♪♪ Tire tracks?

♪♪ It could happen.

♪♪ Yes, yes, yes.

Can you help me?

♪♪ Fellow felines,

A demonstration.

♪♪ Ok.

♪♪ [Jabbering]

♪♪ Uh-oh.

♪♪ What are you doing? What have

You done?

♪♪ Ha ha ha!

♪♪ Junior!

♪♪ Ha ha! It's funny, mother.

♪♪ Just letting a litter of rug

Runners run. Don't fear.

I promise, we won't disappoint.

As we say on tv, it's to prove

A point.

♪♪ To prove a point?

♪♪ Ladies and gentlemen,

Kangaroo and kid, presenting the

Muckster. Observe. A little

Smile, a turn of the dial.

♪♪ [Sputtering]

♪♪ Et voila, huh?

♪♪ ?

♪♪ Well, settings one and two

Are not nearly clean enough for

You. Ho ho!

Now tell it what to do.

♪♪ What to do?

♪♪ Mm-hmm.

♪♪ You mean that--

You mean, tell it to clean the

Floor?

♪♪ Ha ha ha! Whoa!

♪♪ Clean the floor? Clean the

Floor?

♪♪ Junior, oh...

♪♪ ♪ When dust and dirt

Have had their way

And left your home in disarray

To clean becomes

A necessary chore

But what common folk call clean

Isn't nearly as pristine

As the homes on "house and home"

That we adore, don't we? ♪

♪♪ Sure.

♪♪ ♪ It's your lucky year

I've got the answer, ha ha!

And your domicile will dazzle

For your telecast premiere

♪♪ Mama, listen to this huckster

♪♪ What you need's

A brand-new muckster

It's a wubbulous machine

If dishevelment's your trouble

It will shevel on the double

Multilevel, ranch, or bubble

There's no hovel it won't clean

The grit and grime and goo

Gobbled upster by the muckster

Will leave your home

And leave the scene, ha ha!

It's your lucky year

I've got the answer

And your domicile will dazzle

For your telecast premiere

♪♪ Mama, listen to this huckster

♪♪ What you need's

A brand-new muckster

It's a wubbulous machine

Sign right here

And own this wubbulous machine

Sign right here

And own this wubbulous machine

It's your lucky year

I've got the answer

And your domicile will dazzle

For your telecast premiere

♪♪ Mama, listen to this huckster

♪♪ What you need's

A brand-new muckster

It's a wubbulous machine

Ha ha ha! ♪

♪♪ [Sputtering]

♪♪ The rug runners,

They're gone.

♪♪ And you won't see another

From dusk till dawn.

♪♪ Excellent. Yes. Oh, no.

♪♪ What?

♪♪ Those handprints.

♪♪ Ah, yes. Setting removes

Debris from under foot and

Floor, but to clean the walls

And ceilings, turn the dial

To .

♪♪ . Wonderful.

♪♪ B-b-but the level of cleaning

The muckster will do goes up

Each time the dial clicks, but,

If you don't mind, here's a

Little advice. Never turn the

Dial to .

♪♪ Never turn the dial to .

♪♪ Never ever?

♪♪ Why not?

♪♪ Why not?

♪♪ Well, let's just say, there's

Such a thing as being too clean.

♪♪ Ah.

♪♪ Now let's see it clean the

Walls.

♪♪ Clean the walls. Clean the

Walls.

[Sputtering]

Clean the walls. Clean the

Walls.

♪♪ Hey, muckster, that was our

Game.

♪♪ Are they here yet?

♪♪ No.

♪♪ No. ♪♪ Oh...

♪♪ Oh...

♪♪ Folks, this is sally

Spinglespunglesporn on my way to

Kallaroo court, a charming,

Little community on the

Outskirts of solla sollew.

♪♪ She's only a few blocks away.

♪♪ I'm only a few blocks away

From our surprise visit winner

Today--mrs. Jane kangaroo.

Today--mrs. Jane kangaroo. ♪♪ Oo oo oo...

♪♪ Oo oo oo...

♪♪ What a gloss. What a sheen.

I've never seen my house so

Clean. Oh, but "house and home"

Will soon arrive. Better turn

The dial to .

♪♪ Turn the dial to ?

♪♪ Turn the dial to .

♪♪ Um, ma?

♪♪ Hmm?

♪♪ You got to tell it what

To do.

♪♪ What to do.

♪♪ Yeah. Yeah.

♪♪ Do...more.

♪♪ Do more. Do more.

♪♪ Do more. Do more. [Sputtering]

[Sputtering]

[Sputtering] ♪♪ ah.

♪♪ Ah.

Oh.

♪♪ Hey, stop it!

♪♪ Oh, my.

♪♪ But, ma--

♪♪ But, ma-- oh, what's it doing now?

Oh, what's it doing now?

♪♪ Do more. Do more.

[Coughs]

♪♪ Is it--

♪♪ The house is clean?

It's done?

♪♪ It's done.

The house is clean. Ha ha ha!

♪♪ What if--

♪♪ Uh, mother, it's done.

♪♪ What if the house could be

Even cleaner?

♪♪ Mother, never ever turn the

Dial to .

♪♪ Why would they put it there,

Then? As they say on the "house

And home show"...

♪ You can never be too clean

♪♪ Ah.

♪♪ Clean...everything.

[Doorbell rings]

♪♪ Mrs. Kangaroo, "house and

Home show."

♪♪ Ma, ma, doorbell.

♪♪ Nah. The silly thing is

Broken now.

♪♪ Mrs. Kangaroo, this is only a

Half-hour show.

♪♪ Quick, junior. Hide that

Somewhere until they're gone,

All right? Coming.

♪♪ Uh...go. Uh, come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

That's it. That's it. This way.

♪♪ And cue sally.

♪♪ Hello, jane. Ok, boys.

And here we are live at the home

Of jane kangaroo. Hello. I'm

Sally spinglespunglesporn.

♪♪ Why--ungh!--Hello. What

Brings you to my lovely--

Oh, wait. Was that supposed to

Be today?

♪♪ [Cough cough]

Clean everything.

Clean everything.

Clean everything. [Sputtering]

[Sputtering]

♪♪ If only I'd had time

To clean before you arrived.

♪♪ You mean, you do all the

Cleaning yourself?

♪♪ Oh, watch the boom. Ha ha ha!

♪♪ Jane kangaroo,

Your home is immaculate.

Really, really clean.

♪♪ Oh!

♪♪ Why, thank you, miss

Spinglespunglesporn, or is that

Mrs. Spinglespunglesporn?

Ha ha ha! Perhaps I'd best call

You sally. You see, sally, the

Finer homes never resort to

These newfangled appliances to

Provide a model to the

Community. The best housework is

Handiwork, I always say. I can

See by your wide-eyed stares of

Horror that you must be admiring

My furniture.

♪♪ Mother, mother, it's cleaning

Everything, everything!

♪♪ [Gasps]

My table. My chairs.

[Crash]

My china.

♪♪ [Sputtering]

♪♪ Ohh!

♪♪ Sally!

Help!

Hey!

♪♪ Oh...ok. I think we better go

To a commercial now. Aah!

[Telephone rings]

♪♪ Hello. Muckster sales. You

Can never be too clean. How may

I help you?

♪♪ Muckster sales. How may I

Help you?

♪♪ Hello. Muckster sales.

♪♪ Folks, today is your

Lucky day.

♪♪ Are you having problems with

Grease, grime, oil stains, waxy,

Old build-up...

♪♪ Or intrusive relatives?

♪♪ Have we got a deal for you.

It's the muckster.

♪♪ It cleans, and it waxes...

♪♪ Receives all your faxes...

♪♪ And pays your taxes.

♪♪ No, it doesn't.

♪♪ Shh! We got to unload these

Things.

♪♪ Oh, yeah.

♪♪ Yes, folks. It's the

Muckster.

♪♪ It'll slice. It'll dice...

♪♪ And make everything nice.

♪♪ But you better act now...

♪♪ 'Cause we're slashing the

Price.

♪♪ Whoa! Oh!

♪♪ Someone must've turned the

Dial to .

♪♪ You better order now. Things

Are really moving.

♪♪ Ooh!

♪♪ Hang on, everyone. Hang on

Tight to your hat. There's a

Wind in the air that will take

It like that. Ha! You can guess

How it started and why, where,

And who because everything is

Flying for jane kangaroo.

♪♪ This is sally

Spinglespunglesporn live on the

Scene in the belly of jane

Kangaroo's new cleaning machine.

Well, as you can see, it's an

Awful mess down here. We're

Certainly getting the dirt on

Jane kangaroo. Just look at what

She's been hiding--gritty,

Grimy, sooty, slimy,

Oily murky, dirty...

Oily murky, dirty... ♪♪ [Sputtering]

♪♪ [Sputtering]

♪♪ Oh, and here's a happy

Surprise. It appears I'm now

Being pelted by jane kangaroo's

Dirty laundry. Hmm.

♪♪ My sheets. My towels. That

Machine is cleaning me out of

House and home. Oh!

♪♪ Whoa! Mother, do something.

Do something.

♪♪ All right. Just stay here,

Junior. Oh, no.

♪♪ Do something, mother.

Do something.

♪♪ Oh, dear. Stay here, junior,

All right? Mommy will fix the

Machine.

♪♪ Off, mother. Turn it off.

♪♪ It won't go off. It won't

Stop trying to clean up, junior.

♪♪ Clean up junior.

♪♪ Oh, no. What have I said?

What have I done? Run, junior.

Run!

♪♪ Whoa!

♪♪ Clean up junior.

♪♪ Run, junior. Hurry. Oh! Oh!

♪♪ Clean up junior. Clean up

Junior.

♪♪ Oh!

♪♪ Oh, oh, come on, junior.

Oh, please hurry. Hurry.

♪♪ Mother! Ohh!

♪♪ Oh, oh, come on.

♪♪ Clean up junior. Clean up

Junior.

♪♪ Yikes.

♪♪ Shh shh.

♪♪ [Sputtering]

♪♪ Come on, junior.

♪♪ Clean up junior. Clean up

Junior. Clean up junior.

♪♪ It's time to awake, to rise

Up and see your new turtle

King--just little, old

Me--ee--ee! Hee hee! Ooh!

Eeh! Uh! Ugh!

♪♪ Oh, and here's something that

Could use a little bleach.

♪♪ Aah! Waah! Oh! Uh...

Blblblblbl!

It's because I'm bald, isn't it?

♪♪ No, no, no, no, no.

♪♪ Donuts are funnier.

♪♪ Rubber chickens are funnier.

♪♪ Donuts are funnier.

♪♪ Look at this face, huh?

Rubber chickens are funnier.

Listen to me. I'm telling you,

Rubber chickens are funnier.

Leonard!

♪♪ How'd he do that?

♪♪ I have no idea.

♪♪ Clean up junior. Clean up

Junior.

♪♪ Listen to me. Vote for me.

Elect me. Cast your ballot for

The turtle vote. Never mind

Democracy. I've got the mike

Now. I'm in charge now.

♪♪ Aah!

♪♪ It seems all of jane's

Neighbors are dropping by for

What is shaping up to be the

Social event of the year.

♪♪ Hey, look, mr. Knox.

We're on tv. Excuse me.

♪ Da da da da da da

I'm mr. Knox

♪♪ I'm mr. Knox

♪♪ The fox in socks

♪♪ You're fox in socks

♪♪ We are fox and knox ♪

♪♪ Ha! Thank you.

♪♪ No, no. Elect me. I am your

Ruler. I can save you.

♪♪ Oh, hee hee hee! Hatching

That egg was nothing. Did I ever

Tell you about the time I

Saved whoville? Hmm?

♪♪ Clean up junior.

♪♪ Next week, we're appearing at

The ha ha club in solla sollew,

Half price at the door. Sally?

♪♪ This is turning out to be a

Star-bellied event. Oh, and

Who's joining us now? Why,

It's horton the elephant.

♪♪ Elephant? Whoa!

♪♪ Oh! Uh...ooh. Sorry.

♪♪ Clean up junior. Clean up

Junior. Clean up junior.

♪♪ Come on, junior.

♪♪ Coming.

Mother...

♪♪ Oh, dear. Oh, dear. What have

I done? What have I done?

♪♪ What have you done? Why,

You've cleaned everything.

Isn't that your life's dream?

You should be very proud.

You can never be too clean.

♪♪ Yes, you can be too clean.

That horrid machine is trying to

Take away my junior.

♪♪ Take away your junior? That

Couldn't be true, not unless--

You didn't turn the dial to ,

Now, did you?

♪♪ Yes.

♪♪ Aha. Well, well. It wants

To take junior. Well, he does

Make a mess, and your home would

Be cleaner without him, I guess.

♪♪ No!

♪♪ Yes. He plays in the house.

He makes tracks on the rug.

♪♪ I don't care where he plays.

I don't care. Pull the plug.

I don't want it so clean.

I was wrong. I'm not happy.

Make is cease. Make it stop.

Make it still.

♪♪ Make it snappy. Aah!

♪♪ Junior!

♪♪ Aah!

♪♪ No, no, no.

♪♪ Mother, don't let go.

♪♪ I've got you, junior.

I've got you. Got you.

It's taking junior. What do I

Do now?

♪♪ Well, the machine seems to

Clean if you tell it to.

♪♪ Yes, yes. I think we've

Established that.

♪♪ Well, maybe it will unclean

If you tell it to.

♪♪ Unclean?

♪♪ Unclean.

♪♪ Yuck.

♪♪ Clean up junior. Clean up

Junior.

♪♪ Mommy!

♪♪ Clean up junior.

♪♪ Unclean!

♪♪ Unclean. Unclean. Unclean.

[Sputtering]

♪♪ No one believed me when I

Said there were people living on

That dust speck, but I meant

What I said, and I said what

I meant.

♪♪ Pop.

♪♪ Morton.

♪♪ Hey, I didn't know you

Could fly.

♪♪ Uh, neither did i. Waah!

♪♪ Whoa!

♪♪ Well, I better go give them a

Helping hand, or wing. Whoa.

I'm much stronger than I look.

I'm much stronger than I look. [Crash]

[Crash]

♪♪ You didn't let go, mama.

You didn't let go.

♪♪ Well, and here she is once

Again, ladies and gentlemen, the

Lady of the half-hour--mrs. Jane

Kangaroo. Well, we've only got a

Few more moments before signing

Off. Mrs. Kangaroo, any closing

Thoughts for our "house and

Home" viewers?

♪♪ Oh, why, yes, sally. There's

A little saying that I think

Everyone should know. You can

Never be too--

You can never be too busy to

Play with your little boy.

♪♪ Yeah. Yeah.

♪♪ Come, junior. Let's go.

♪♪ Come, junior. Let's go. ♪♪ [Humming]

♪♪ [Humming]

♪♪ Ma, ma, look at the picture

I made you.

[Crash]

♪♪ Oh, junior.

♪♪ I'm sorry, ma. I'm sorry.

♪♪Well--wait. I have an idea.

There.

♪♪ Wow, ma. You're the best.

♪♪ I saw they would both be all

Right. I just knew. No machine

Could take junior from jane

Kangaroo. I saw in her eyes that

Could never be true, and I

Learned something from her.

Didn't you?

♪♪ Oh, yeah. I learned

Something. Absolutely. Mm-hmm.

♪♪ I learned the same thing she

Did, only better.

♪♪ Oh, yeah. I learned

Something--never ever turn the

Dial to .

♪♪ That's right. Right.

♪♪ Ok, guys. Crank her up to .

♪♪ What?

♪♪ ? Hold on! Hang on to--ooh!

♪♪ Cool.