03x09 - Space Invaders, Part 1

[bunniefuu]

- Roger that, NASA Control,

continuing to monitor life support

and flight navigation.

- Roger.

- Aww, man.

Hey, did you pack the food?

- No. Why?

- 'Cuz look...

Your chocolate got mixed in with my peanut butter.

- Orrrr...maybe your peanut butter

got in with my chocolate.

- Noooo...Mmm...

that tastes good.

- Hmm... Chocolate and peanut butter.

- Yeah. They're two great tastes

that taste great together.

- Huh...

Wait'll Earth hears about this.

- Right. Hey, let's get some shut-eye.

- Nah, I'm tired.

Let's get some sleep.

I'll k*ll the lights.

- Oh!!! Dang it, Neil!

Turn the gravity back on.

All right, all right, I'm sorry! Hang on.

- Artificial gravity, artificial gravity...

[ all talking ]

- Hey...

Hey, has it been on yet?

- Not yet!

It should be coming on any minute!

- I'll get you my pretty.

-'Kay tweeners! Food's ready!

Hope your mouths are!

[ blows whistle ]

- Back on the couch.

-Aw, c'mon Piper,

I just put out all this nice food.

- Look...

The guy at the TV station just texted me,

and said my commercial's gonna be on

"in just a few minutes."

- We know, but we're also hungry--

[ blows whistle ]

Good point.

- Okay boys, get some rest up there in space.

We'll contact you at o-eighthundred hours.

- Copy that.

- Sleep chambers, activated and ready.

Secure.

Locked.

- Heyyy... - What th...?

- Hey! Open the door!

- Open the doors. - What happened?

Did you push a button?!?

- No! - Wait wait wait...

Hold-hold on...

Hey! What are you doing here?!?

- OH MY GOD!!!

- What's done is done.

- Yeah?

- Shirt?

Shirrrrrt?

- What's wrong with you? - What?

This is my Fred Lobster shirt.

'Cuz you're in a Fred Lobster commercial.

So I got this shirt.

- In honor of your commercial.

For Fred Lobster.

- Now I regret it.

- Piper! It's your commercial!

- AHHHHHHHHHH, MY COMMERCIAL'S ON!!!

- It's a new day at Fred Lobster.

[ laughing ]

- It's me, it's me, it's me...

Who knows lobs--

- We interrupt this broadcast for breaking news.

- What the butt?!?

- And now: Trent Overunder and Mary Gaperman.

- Mary, come on!

You can eat the chicken wings later!

- I'm so sorry.

Is there any sauce on my face?

- No, you're good.

- Where's my commercial?!?

- Hey, hey it's oka-- - Shhh!

- Trouble in outer space?

Yes.

We've just received a report that some unknown person

has found his or her way into NASA'S new

international space station.

- Now Trent...

that space station is located where?

- It's in space, Mary. Hence the name "space station."

- That's right, Trent.

- Apparently, the mysterious intruder has taken over

the station and is holding the astronauts hostage.

- And we should point out that one of those astronauts,

Jim Dickle, lives right here in Swellview...

when he's not in space.

- Here's a photo of Major Dickle,

taken last year at Swellview's taco festival.

- No one cares!

Put my commercial back on!

- Stay tuned to KLVY News for more updates

on this developing situation.

- In space.

- Fredddd Lobster.

- They bumped my whole commercial!

For some stupid news thing that nobody cares about!

- Yeah...who would care about astronauts

being taken hostage in outer space?

- I don't need your sarcasm.

[ beeping ]

- Hey, your watch just beeped.

- Ulch...I know.

I uh...gotta go call my boss at Junk-N-Stuff.

- What about my commercial!

- We missed it.

- But they'll play it again!

- She's right, they're supposed

to run it a few times today.

- Ohhhh...

Then I'll go check the front porch.

- Check it for WHAT?!?

- Ray. - Henry!

There's an emergency in S--

Are you wearin' a Fred Lobster shirt?

- Uh...Yeah. - Why?

- 'Cuz my sister's in a Fred Lobster commercial,

so I bought this shirt but-

- All right look, there's no time

to talk about your shirt!

- But... But you asked me.

- We have an emergency.

Guess where we're goin'.

- To space?

- Not just space, Henry.

Outer space.

- Haha...

Wait, well how are you and I gonna get to outers--

- Y'know... I was in a Fred Lobster last week,

and they told me they didn't have those shirts anymore.

- Uh...

Yeah, I had to order this one online--

- Oh, so, you really wanna talk about lobster shirts

while astronauts are in danger?

- You're the one who brought up the shirt!

- Just get to the Man Cave-- fast!

- Ulch... Okay, I'm on my way.

- Bring the shirt.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- Schwoz... I can see you.

- Go away!

Hahaha! You missed me!

- How did he get up there?

- Come on Schwooozzz...

you're gonna have to come down from there eventually.

- Leave me alone!

- Hahaha... C'mon Schwoz...

I need it!

- No! I'm saving it for marriage!

- Hey. - Hi Henry!

- Whoa, what th-- Why is Schwoz--

- Ha! Missed me, missed me!

You are very stoooopid.

- Those are not the lyrics!

- Ow, my shoe!!!

- Okay, what is going on?

- Schwoz won't give Ray the launch key

to his little rocket ship.

- Well why won't he-- Schwoz has a rocket ship?

- It's called the Love Shuttle!

- Why did Schwoz build a Love Shuttle?

- For his honeymoon.

- Yeah he says that when he gets married,

he wants to have his honeymoon on the actual moon.

- Don't be ridiculous, Schwoz.

You're never getting married.

- It could happen!

There's women out there who'll take anybody!

- Ahhhh! Gimme that key!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

- I think you might be overreacting.

- May I?

- No no wait, Charlotte, don't--ahhh!

- [ groaning ] - Ha!

You...You sh*t his butt.

- Owww....

- Hey! Did you guys hear?!?

There's a hostage situation up in space!

- We heard. - We're aware.

- Well...did you know that one of the astronauts

is from Swellview?!?

- Yesss. - Yeah, Jim Dickle.

- [ groans ] - Ohh...

Well, did you know I was born with eleven toes,

but only nine on my feet?

- What'd he say? - Eleven?

- Yeah. Who's got news now?

- [ moans ]

[ alert beeping ]

- I'll check that.

- Hey, shouldn't you be up at Junk-N-Stuff,

watching the store?

- Well, I have to use the bathroom,

but the one upstairs is broken.

- That's why we told you to use the bathroom

across the street, at the gas station.

- I'm no longer welcome at that gas station.

- [ groaning ]

- Uh-ohhh. You guys...

the space station's gonna be orbiting

over Swellview in one hour.

- So? - What does that mean?

- That if you guys don't head up there soon,

you'll have to wait another vhours.

And by then it may be too late!

- Come on, we have to help those astronauts

at least the one from Swellview.

- C'mon, Schwoz.

Give us the key to your Love Shuttle.

- Wait, why doesn't NASA just send up someone

up there to help the astronauts?

- Yah. Call NASA.

- No no no no no no,

NASA just sent a supply rocket

to the space station two days ago.

It'll take 'em six months

to get another one ready to send up.

- Well, can't we borrow a rocket from China?

- No! No!

I am not getting inside a Chinese rocket ever again!

- Hey, c'mon Schwoz.

Let us use your Love Shuttle.

- Yeah. You're never gonna need it.

- I will! For when I get married!

- Oh, to what, Schwoz?!?

What's gonna marry you?

- Even that robot girlfriend you built for yourself,

Gerta, even she left you.

- Nooo...we...

we're just taking a break.

- Oh come on!

- She turned herself into a bird, Schwoz!

Then she flew away!

- When did that happen?

- Last season.

- So you mean winter.

- Yeah, that's what I meant.

- Look, buddy...

- D'ah-don't choke me.

- Are you planning to marry someone

in the next... ten hours?

- Well, I don't plan to, no.

- Okay, so, just lend us your Love Shuttle,

and we'll bring it right back.

- You promise to be careful with it?

- We both promise.

- Now give us the launch key!

- Okaaaay. Hold out your hand.

[ gargling ]

- Oh my god...

- I can't watch this...

but I can't look away...

[ choking ]

- What are you doing?

- Awww. - Gross.

- It's wet.

- That's the launch key.

- All right, Jasper.

Looks like Captain Man needs your help.

- Sure! Anything! What do you need?

- You're a good boy.

- Okay Henry.

I'm now going to insert the key

into the console.

- Uh...okay.

- I did it.

- Great.

- You are aboard the Love Shuttle.

Welcome, Schwoz, and...

- [Schwoz's voice ] Woman's name.

- Prepare for your honeymoon.

[ romantic music plays ]

- Schwoz...Schwoz!

How do I turn this love music off?!?

- Aw, c'mon...

Love music isn't for turning off.

It's for turning on.

- I got it. [ music stops ]

- All right, Henry and Ray...

We pre-set the flight computer

to automatically take you to the space station.

- Copy that. And we are...

...prepped for launch.

- Hey Kid.

Let's go to space, and kick some ace.

- Ha ha. To the stars.

- Hey... Pretty cool.

- Yeah, I've never done that sitting down before.

- Yeah, I wasn't sure if it was gonna work.

- It's pretty good right? - Yeah, but it did work.

- All right, you guys. I just wanted to say...

be careful up there.

- Roger that.

- We copy.

- 'Cuz you two are the only Ray and Henry I have.

- Thanks. - Okay then.

- And...I've never said this out loud before, but...

- Don't do this.

- I just wanted you guys to know that--

- Hit it. - Yeah. Launching.

- AHHHHHHHH!!! - AHHHHHHHH!!!

- We're going to space!!!

- I know! It's so fun!

- Woooooo!!!!! - Haha!

- Space, "the final frontier."

- What does that mean?

- Y'know... "the final frontier"...

last place in the universe

that mankind hasn't explored yet.

Space! Ahhhh...

- What about oceans?

- Huh? - Oceans.

I mean, we haven't explored all parts of the oceans yet.

So, aren't they an unexplored frontier?

Oceans?

- Okay, fine.

Space, "one of two final frontiers."

Ahhhhh...

- What about parallel universes?

- What?

- Remember that time that Charlotte and I

went to that parallel universe?

- I suppose.

- Well, there's probably lots more parallel universes,

that none of us have explored,

so I guess you could say-- - Space!

"One of many, many remaining frontiers."

- Yeah...

I like cartoons.

- You boys got any sugar on you?

- Piper, you haven't gone to the bathroom

in four hours.

- And I'm not gonna!

'Cuz I know if I leave, I'm gonna miss my commercial!

- But what about me?!? I have to go, too.

- Are you in a commercial for Fred Lobster?

- No.

- Then today's not about you, is it, Narlee?!?

- I...I don't follow your logic.

Nobody leaves this room 'til we all see

my Fred Lobster commercial!

- Sweetie...

We're recording this channel all day.

- So? - So...

When your commercial comes on, it'll record

and then we'll have it forever.

- But I wanna watch it live.

- I understand but-- - It has to be live.

- But why can't-- - WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!!

- Okay. [ TV beeps ]

- Ahhhh! - Oh oh oh oh.

It's just asking if we wanna record

"America's Got Salad."

- Oh my gosh! I love that show!

- Me too, I'll just press--

- No wait, Dad Dad Dad--

- Toilet Wars!

- Ahhhh.

- Dad, you changed the channel!

- I know, I know!

- Go back go back... - I'm trying!

I think I changed the input! - In the input!

- Oh no! I hit exit! - Stop Dad!

- Where's backspace?!? - What are you doing?!

- Look, I'm trying as hard as I can!

- I got it! - So, don't just eat lobster...

Eat Fred Lobster. Freedddd Lobster.

- We missed it!

Are you kidding me!! Are you kidding meee!

- [ sighs ]

I'm sick of just sitting here.

- Yeah, well, Schwoz said that we should

be at the space station pretty soon--

- I wonder what these buttons do.

- No wait, no wait, dude, what are you doing?

Don't start pushing random--

- What's happening? - Ahahahaha!

- What's happening?

- You made my chair start to vibraaaaaaaaaate.

- Aw...No fair! I wanna vibrate!

- It's niiiiiiiiiice.

- Ohhhhhhhhh, yeahhhhhhh...

- Feels goooooooooood...

- Hey! My voice sounds weird.

Listen, aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...

[ vibrating voices ]

[ crash ] - Ahhh!

- D'oh!

- They just docked with the space station.

- Hey Schwoz,

I think we just docked with the space station.

- Oh really? My goodness,

thanks for the information.

- Okay, you have a solid pressure lock,

so you are good to enter the space station.

- Ten-four good Charlotte.

- We ten-ten on the side.

- All right kid.

We're about to leave the Love Shuttle,

and enter the space station.

- Yep. I'm up to speed on the story.

- I know, I'm just sayin'...

We have no idea who or what

h*jacked that space station,

and we won't know until we go in there and look inside.

- Yep...that's all been clearly established.

- Then let's go do this.

- Waitin' on you.

- Here we go. - I hope so.

- Set weapons to "stun"...

- ...is this right?

- Uh no, you just set it to "melt."

You wanna' melt the space station?

- No, I do not.

- Give it.

Here you go.

- Sorry. Do you wanna go-- - Oh no--

I thought-- - Do you wanna' go first?

- No, you, yeah you..

- I thought you were gonna--

- All right. - You go and then I'll go.

- What are you doing? - Yep right, no--

- What are you doing? - you you said, okay yeah.

Oh, wait. It's on melt.

Okay Kid... stay cool...

- Ow!

- Ahhhh! What was that?!?

What was that?!? What's happening?!?

Hey! I think I got whatever it was

that att*cked--ahh, uhh...

I didn't get it.

- Captain Man?

- Uh, I'm here too.

Kid Danger. Also relevant.

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.