[ music ]
- Hey Jasper...
- Yeah, whatcha need?
- Will you please come take this thermometer
out of my nose hole?
- Okaaaay, let's check that temperature.
And...ah!
Ew...
- Well?
- Hmmm.
I think it needs to go in deeper.
- What?
- Well I-I've never used a nasal thermometer before.
- Well maybe you should LEARN about nasal thermometers
before you stick 'em in your friends' noses!
- Here, let's try it again.
- Ah yeah no, it's really not comfortable.
Can we please-- can we pl--ow ow ohhhh....
- And I think it's in there. - Ohhhhh, it's back in me.
- Hey, what are you making, anyways?
- Oh, a cure for your cold.
- You can't cure a cold.
- You can with this liquid cleanse I'm making.
- What's in it?
- A combination of...
orange juice, nut milk,
fish oil, frankincense, tomato puree, murr,
bee pollen, and liquid lard.
- Wow, I am not drinkin' that.
- Drink it? Why would you drink it?
- You said it's a cleanse.
- Yeah, but you don't swallow it.
I use this to bathe you.
- Nope!
- C'mon! Don't be a baby. Don't you wanna feel better?
- No, I like bein' sick bye.
- Henry...Eh? [ watch beeping ]
- Oh sorry,
but I gotta take this, soooo...
Hey, Ray. - Hey, Henry.
- How ya' doin'? - Hungry!
Handsome and hungry.
- Hey Henry.
- Oh, Char, you're already at work?
- Yeah, she is, and we want breakfast.
So, on your way to work, stop by Casa De Waffles,
pick up nine waffles, a dozen fat biscuits, some uh...
- Fresh fruit.
- Pfftt. Fresh fruit.
I'm Charlotte! I want fresh fruit!
Myeh-myeh-myeh-myeh.
- Hey, listen... Guys, I'm sorry,
but I'm still sick. I can't make it to work.
- Oh, it's been three days.
Maybe you wanna see a doctor?
- Nah, I mean it's just a cold, but I still feel pretty bad,
and I got a fever, so--
- Heyyyy Kid, I totally get it.
Just stay home, rest, and take care of yourself.
- Cool, thanks man. - Sure thing.
- Later. - Yeah okay.
- That rotten little mutt!
- Ah! Hey! D'ah!!!
- Ray... - What?!?
- You could've k*lled Schwoz.
- Oh... Sorry Schwoz...
I didn't mean to hit you with that bottle...
- Well, you did...
- It's just I'm so angry at Henry for lying to me.
- Wait a second...
You think Henry's lying to you about being sick?!?
- I know he's lying. - [ gasps ]
Ray Manchester!
How could you say that about Henry?
- Oh. Okay. So you think he's telling the truth.
- I do.
- Well I think he's lying, so...
We're gonna find out.
- Wait a second... - Schwoz...
- M'eh... Please don't hurt me anymore!
- No, I have an assignment for you.
I want you to get yourself a disguise...
- Okay, I will get a disguise.
- Yeah and I want you to sneak into Henry's house,
install some hidden cameras and microphones,
so we can spy on him.
- We're going to schpy on Henry?!?
- Yep.
- No. I will not let you "schpy" on him.
- Oh, Charlotte's saying "no" again.
- It's an invasion of Henry's privacy and it's wrong.
- Hey! You better not run to the tubes
so you can try to warn Henry that we're gonna' spy on him!
Don't, stop, comeback.
- Ha! Up the tube!
COMPUTER: Tube transport: locked.
- Locked?
- And switching to manual control...
- Hey! Hey!
Why didn't I go up the tube?
- 'Cuz I switched it off.
- Off?!? - Yeah.
You can jump but you won't go far.
- Okay, you better not keep me trapped in this tube!
- Okay. Up the tube...
And other tube, down...
Aaaand...Charlotte.
There. Now you're in a different tube.
- Oh Ray, you're so incorrigible.
- Hahahahahah...
I don't know what that means.
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick.
- Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles...
and fight crime. Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
- Mom!
- Oh hey! Your Mom went to yoga class.
But I'm here.
- Yeah.
- So how was the slumber party last night?
- I wasn't at the slumber party.
- Wh...whaddaya mean you weren't at the slumber party?
- I mean.. there was a slumber party,
and "I weren't at it."
- But you told your mom you were spending the night
at Wendy Lindy's house.
- I was... but when I got there,
Wendy told me they were having a A.M. sale
at Pants Pants Revolution.
- What's that, a store?
- Yeah.
And I had to sleep on the street all night
so I could be one of the first people in line
to buy these!
- What are... - Wait for it...
- Wh--no way! Are those...
- Hot Slacks!
- Shut up! - You shut up!
- Ahh!!!
- Holy! - What the butt?
- I didn't even know sinks could do that!
- Well fix it! - How?!?
[ doorbell rings ] Ah!
- I'll get the door.
Yeah?
- Uh...hello-uh.
I'm a...how you say...
"a plumber"... from-ah Italy.
- Wait... you're a plumber?
- Yes, I am a plumber. See my tools?
- Yeah uh, you're not gonna believe this,
but we need a plumber. - Right now!
- Oh. Well, I a'suppose I could take a look-see.
- Really? - Cool!
- That'd be so great. - Our sink is right over there.
- Okay...y'know, where I come from,
which is Italy,
they call a sink a sinkatoni
because uh that's like the word "sink"
with a'more letters on the end.
- Oh good lord!!! - Ahhh, what's happening?!?
- It's sh**ting fire out of the sink!!!
How does a sink do that?!? It should be just water!
- Yes... I will go fix it.
- Uh, excuse me. Sir? Uh, Mister Plumber?
- Si? Si si si si si si...
- Our kitchen sink is over there.
- ...in the kitchen.
- A'yes, I know.
But a'most a'plumbing problems, start in the attic--
you know-- uppa the stairs.
- But I don't understand how the attic--
- B'ahhhhh!!! Look a'that!
- Ah!!!
- Go away!
- Mr. Plumber!!!
Well, get closer to it!
- Why would I get closer to it? - Because you gotta put it out!
- Do you want me to go on fire?!?
- Ahh...Schwoz is doing the ol' sink-fire bit.
Hey Charlotte, why aren't you laughing?
Oh right, 'cuz I trapped you in a tube.
A-ha ha ha ha ha, you're so mad!
- Ray! If you're not gonna let me outta this tube,
can I at least have some food?
- All right.
I'll get you some foooood...
Whaddaya wanna eat?
- Uh, I'll take a... burrito e-normay.
- Burrito e-normay.
COMPUTER: Burrito e-normay.
- Hey...y'know what the word "burrito" means in Spanish?
- Yeah--"little donkey."
- Noooo. It means "Pouch of meat."
- Whatever--just please lift up this tube
so I could have it.
- Ohhhh No no no no no.
I'm not e-stoopeedo.
Up the tube.
And...tube to tube...
aaaannnd... down the tube!
- You want somethin' to drink?
- I don't think so!
- Cool.
Hey! Looks like Schwoz is firin' up another camera.
C'mon Schwozzy... show me the Henry...
Dag it! For d'eh juh...
- See that? He's in bed! Sick!
- Eh, bullfish.
I'm gonna keep spying on him,
and I'll prove to you he's not really sick.
- Wh...
Schwoz? Is that you?
- Nooooo. I'm just a dreeeeaaam.
Yes... a dreeeaaaam...
about a nice Italian plumber...
so you go back to sleep and you just dream about--
AYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
A-ha ha ha...
- Oh man, that fall must have hurt, huh!!!
"AHHHH"... HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
[ disco music plays ]
♪ I don't care what you think
♪ I'm not here for you
♪ I was born for this And I just want to groove ♪
[ music continues ]
[ music stops ]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOT SLACKS?!?
- Hahahahahahah!
They have no idea that we're watching and laughing!
- Hahahaha! Sorry, privacy! You've been invaded!
- Hey guys.
- Hey other kid. - Hey curly.
- Jasper! Let me outta this tube!!!
- Why is she in the--
- Oh uhhh, we're just playing a game.
- Yeah, just playing a game.
- It's not a game!
- That's part of the game. - Saying it's not a game.
- Ahhhhh, okay.
Well, it's uh past nine
and I just locked up Junk-N-Stuff,
so I'm gonna head on ho...
Whoa, is that, is that Henry's room?
- Yep.
- Wait but how are you seeing video from-
- Wait, shhh wait shhh wait shhh!
There it is!
Ya' see Henry there? He's not sick.
- How do you know?
- Look at him! Sittin' there in bed,
eating a big steamin' bowl a'chili.
- Uh that looks like brown soup to me.
- You're too far away to tell!
Now look at it, all dark, and thick, with chunks.
I know chili when I see it.
- I think he's eating brown soup.
- No. No! It's not soup!
Geez Jasper, if you can't tell the difference
between brown soup and chili,
you're not allowed to look at my monitors!
- Oh Ray, now you're just being a child!
- Mute the tube. - Aye.
- Henry is your sidekick, and he's a very...
[ silence ]
- Nice.
Now...back to Kid Faker.
- Ray, listen...
Henry and I have been really close friends, like forever.
- Ulch... get to the point, boy.
- I just think if he were faking being sick,
he woulda told me.
- Yeah...
guys do tell their best buddies everything...
their thoughts, their secrets...
- That's true!
Like, when you told me about that time
you went to Martha's Vineyard--
- Don't talk about it, Schwoz!!
Jasper, I'm gonna need you to go shave your chest.
- My chest? Why?
- You're gonna wear a wire.
- A wire!?!
- Yeah, Schwoz is gonna' tape
a secret microphone to your chest.
- Wow!
- Then you're gonna meet Henry at the Parkway Diner,
where I'll be hiding nearby...
- Ooo, and then what?
- You're gonna ask Henry about this "sickness"...
and I bet you he admits that he's been faking.
- So...I get to be, like, like a spy?!?
- Schpy.
- Sure. We'll call you "Double oh zero."
- [ gasps ] Yessssss.
It's all happening.
- There...
Now, this is your microphone right here, by your noople.
- All right. Let's go bust a faker.
- Okay, so now will you let me outta here?
- No. You could still warn Henry,
so you gotta stay in there 'til we prove he's faking.
- And what happens if I need a restroom?
- I already handled that.
- I am not using this jar!
- Good news for the jar.
- Let's go.
Oh Schwoz. uh two things...
- Yes?
- Do not let Charlotte out of the tube til' we're back.
- Aye. And what's number two?
- Don't eat any worms.
- Oh! But-- - No buts, no worms!
- Awwwwww.
- Byeeeee.
- Okay Schwoz--let me out of this tube.
- Ohhhhh no no no no no no no.
You heard what Ray said about you and worms.
- You better listen to me, Schwoz!
'Cuz If you don't let me out of this...uh.
Out of this...oh my.
...I think I... I-I think I...
ohhhh...
- Ayeeee!!!
Oh! Charlotte! Are you okay?!?
Please be okay! Charlotte Charlotte--
Ohhh!!!
- That's for not letting me outta the tube!
- Now could you please call me an ambulance?
- No!
I'm gonna go get my phone, call Henry,
and tell him what Ray and Jasper are up to!
Ulch...where's my dumb phone?
Hey, have you seen my--Schwoz!
Ray told you not to eat the worms!
- B'ahhh, you already bashed my pants!
Now just let me enjoy my worms!
[ watch beeps ]
- Hey Char, what's up?
- Bad things! Bad things are up!
- Why, what's wrong?
- Ray didn't believe you were really sick
so he sent Schwoz to your house
disguised as an Italian plumber
so he could install cameras with microphones in your house!
- In my house?
- Yeah,
and Ray and Schwoz have been spying on you all day,
watching everything,
including you eating a bowl of brown soup!
- But that was my private brown soup time!
- And now Ray's making Jasper wear a microphone
so he can meet you at the Parkway Diner
to try to trick you into admitting
that you're not really sick!
- What? But I am sick! Why would I--wait...
Jasper's gonna' be wearing a WIRE?!?
- Yeah!
And Ray's gonna be at that diner
listening to every word you say!
- Ohhh... Okay...
well if Ray wants to listen to what I have to tell Jasper,
then I'm gonna make sure I say somethin' goooood.
- Pssst! Ray... pssst! Psssst!
I'm checking the equipment. Pssssst!
Ssssslippery slimy snake...
- Stop it, Jasper!
Oh my gosh! Uh, sorry M'am!
That actually wasn't meant for you!
- Hey. - Hi Henry. Uh...
- What's up? - Ummmm...
how-how are you feeling?
- Uh well... - You can tell me.
We've been friends for sooo long.
- So?
- So, even if you have a secret,
I'm the perfect person for you to tell.
- Oh god he's the worst.
- Well uh, great... 'cuz...
Y'know how I've been calling in sick to work?
- Yeeeaaaaah?
- Well... I've was faking.
- I knew it!
- Why'd you tell Ray you were sick?
- You swear I can totally trust you?
- Sure! I mean. I'd never betray a friend!
- Well... C'mere...
I'm done being Ray's sidekick.
- B-b-but why?!?
You don't wanna fight crime anymore?
- No, I do. But dude, we don't need...
We don't need Captain Man.
- But Ray's indestructible!
You can't just get rid of Captain Man!
- Well...See,
I've been working, secretly, with Doctor Minyak...
- Noooo! - Yeah man!
And we've been developing this w*apon
that can melt Captain Man!
And check this out...
Once Ray's outta the picture...
- Yeah? - C'mere...Come here.
- What? - All the way. Come here.
I'm gonna take over
and make YOU my sidekick.
- Me? - Yeah...
- D-d'ah...No! Ray's our friend.
I...We can't just...
Okay, I'm in!
- You're uh, you're-you're in?
- Oh, yes sir, whatever you need me to do, I'll do.
- All right, Henry.
How'd you know Jasper was wearing a wire?
- 'Cuz I'm not an idiot.
- Raaaay? I didn't know you also come to this restaurant.
- Give it up, son.
- I can't believe you spied on me!
- Yeah? Well, I woudnt've had to do all this
if you hadn't lied about being sick for three days!
- Well, I wasn't lying dude! I-I-I had a cold!
And, like, the flu or somethin'!
- Ohhhh yeah.
'Cuz everyone with the "flu" loves to sit around,
eatin' big ol' honkin' bowls a'chili!
Yeah, I saw it.
- But it was brown soup! - Brown, pssht--okay.
- I knew it was brown soup!
- Look, just admit that you were never sick,
apologize, and we can forget this whole thing!
- I was sick, okay? And I still am!
- Oh my god! You're such a faker!
- A faker? Why would I fake this?
- 'Cuz you don't wanna go to work!
'Cuz you're a little punk
and you have no sense of responsibility!
Why don't you rub a little "suck it up cream" on it
and be there at work tomorrow!
Okay? I'm Henry! I'm ta--I'm sick.
I don't wanna' come in to work.
- I'm ser--I'm serious dude.
Maybe back up a little bit?
- Oh for the full performance?
So I can get the whole Emmy Award winning perform--
B'uhhh! B'uhhh! What are you doing now?
Yeah, that's brown soup.
[ oven bell ] - Mmm.
04x01 - Sick & Wired
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.