05x16 - Holey Moley

[bunniefuu]

- Lift with your back... - I do not like this job.

- Lift with your back and your neck...

always lift with your back and neck

those are the strongest muscles in the body...

- What does that even mean?

We're seriously here on a Saturday morning for this?

- Keep your core as loose as possible.

- No. - What to do with my core.

- Am I gonna have to do this thing myself?

- Yes! - Go ahead.

- Well I don't wanna.

Now take off the sheet so I can see it!

Turn it on, please.

Ah. Best $, I ever spent.

- Whoa! - How much?

- Ah, you got me. It was $,.

- Let's hang this beast of a masterpiece!

Hammer strike!

Call Henry.

On the phone.

- Dude I got you! - No you didn't!

- Yes I did! - No, you missed!

- I just got you! You're guarded bro.

- I'm not guarding! - You're guarding!

- I got you both! You know I did!

- Whoah, whoah, whoah.

- Stop guarding! Stop guarding!

Stop guarding!

Stop guarding. Stop guarding.

- You're guarding.

- Shhh!

Time out! Cease fire! - What?

- We don't wanna cease! - We wanna fire!

- Shh...

- Lol. Haha.

Heart emoji.

Crying face.

- Piper's sleep texting.

It's dangerous to wake her up when she's sleep texting.

- She gets punchy.

- And bitey.

[ phone rings ] - Hey, hey.

- Turn it off! - Shhh!

- Hey Charlotte, what's up?

- Okay so Ray wanted me to call you 'cuz--

- Don't tell Henry over the phone!

- Tell him to hurry up! - Don't ruin the surprise!

- You can tell him about the painting!

- Tell him to bring bagels!

- Did you get any of that?

- They want me to come to work with a painting of bagels?

- Just get down here okay?

- Hey...hey hey.

They need us down at work.

- What? You're going to work?

- Yeah, sorry, bud. I got a job.

- But we were playing.

- I know, champ. Listen we'll play after work.

- I don't wanna play after work! I wanna play now!

- Shhh!

Do not wake up your daughter!

- I feel like we should do something.

- Yeah.

Let's go out the back. - Good idea.

- Alright what's the surpr--? Hey man, your painting came?!

That looks sick.

- Whoa, am I a floating baby angel?

- Playing guitar.

But the painting isn't important right now.

What's important is tunnels.

- Hmmm? - Tunnels!

Check this out you guys.

- Whoa. - Wow.

- What's so exciting about tunnels?

- Get out.

Just leave if you're gonna ruin this.

- But I was just asking about--

- So we were gonna hang that sick painting of me, right?

But when I went tried to put the spike into place

this hole opened up and...Tunnels!

- Wow. Where does it go?

- The question is, Henry, where does it go?

- That's what he asked. - Strike two, buddy.

Schwoz is figuring out where it goes right now!

He's got a drone in there mapping it all out.

- Wow. There's a lot more tunnels than I thought---

- Watch out! The drone is coming back!

Good girl.

- I-I think that's Swellview.

- Strike three! Where'd that hammer go?

- No! Wait...

Jasper's right!

These tunnels run underneath all of Swellview.

- Two and a half.

- There's no such thing as a half-strike.

- Now you're back to three, chief.

One more strike and you're in the penalty box.

- What sport is this?!

- These tunnels.

They run under my house, our school,

all fourteen locations of Nacho Ball...

- So who built these things?

- The question is, who built these things?

- And the answer is, I don't care.

Let's take a tunnel to Nacho dang Ball!

- Yah! - Let's go!

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Wh-wh-what, what, what?

- Guys we just go running into tunnels!

We don't know who built these things,

or who could be hiding inside.

I mean... where's Charlotte?

If Charlotte were here, she'd cross her arms saying,

"Umm, I don't know about this guys..."

- You guys! These tunnels go to Nacho dang Ball!

C'MON!!

- Or she'd say that.

Hey stop!

- This underground air is great for my skin.

- Yeah I was gonna say that.

You look great. - I know.

- I could not have been more wrong about these tunnels.

- You were so wrong!

- I was, I was wrong.

- It takes, like, no time to get anywhere

when you're going in a tunnel.

- Yeah, if we took surface streets,

we never would have made it to Nacho Ball,

Six Poles Over Swellview,

the movies, and another Nacho Ball.

Plus, Ray voted!

- Twice!

In the same election!

- And guys, it's not even noon.

- We should stop calling these "tunnels"

and start calling them "funnels."

Am I right?

'Cuz of how much fun they are.

- Uh, guys?

- All I know is that there is absolutely

no downside to these tunnels.

- None. - At all.

- Guys! - Hmmmm?

- Mole people!

- Hey, look. A downside.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ahhh!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- Looks like a bunch of mole people dude.

- It is a bunch of mole people.

The same ones that blew up the Man Cave.

- Yeah, but that was like, one mole guy.

This is, like...

like a bunch of mole people dude.

- Mole people are everywhere!

[ squeaking ]

- See I don't like that.

I don't like when they do that.

- My mom always said that mole people

would sneak into my room at night

if I didn't eat my dinner.

- She's right, we do.

- Ahhhhhh! - Seriously?!

- Look, I don't care what anyone does

in Jasper's bedroom.

What I do care about is that you mole people

are in our tunnels. Now get outta here!

- Your tunnels?! - Yeah.

- Our mole fathers dug these tunnels centuries ago!

- Well, we found 'em hours ago.

So that means they're ours.

- Yah! Cause that's how America works.

- Ehhh, so sorry not anymore.

- We like to pretend that didn't happen.

- Get out of our tunnels!

- What if we say no?

What are you gonna do about it, Hairy Underwood?

- Well I could tell you.

But I'd rather leave you in the dark!

[ squeaking ]

[ shrieking ]

- Why...won't... you...die?!

- Stop hitting me!

- Oh, sorry,

your face is very mole-like in the dark.

- Get off me!

- What is wrong with you?!

- I'm afraid of the dark.

- Well there's light now.

- Sometimes it's just nice to be held.

- Get-- - Aye!

- Alright!

Time to mash up some guaca-mole-y...

- Okay, every-- everybody just relax!

Okay, just calm down.

Alright just chill out!

- Ah! Terry turn the lights down.

It hurts my eyes! I can't see.

[ squeaking ]

That's mole like it.

[ clicks claws ]

- Now, why can't we share the tunnels?

- Yeah, there's gotta be a way

for both of us to use these.

- Well... you could pay a mole tax.

- What?!

- You pay us money. Every week.

And we let you use the tunnels.

- Okay... How much?

Okay, while they're talking---

- We've made a decision!

- That was very quick.

- You can use our tunnels if you pay us...

ten cents!

[ chattering ]

- We... accept your offer.

- Hehe hehe.

- Great. Pay us now!

- Now? Uh...

I don't have any change... You guys got any change?

- I have no coins. - I've got ten cents!

- I feel like you don't.

- Sure I do!

I've got ten cents right here in my pocket.

Why don't one of you mole people,

who blew up my Man Cave,

walk your little mole feet over here and get it?!

- Dude, don't do this right now.

- That's right.

I am reaching into my pocket

and pulling out a nice...

- I'm begging you... - Shiny...

- Oh, god... - Fist!

- Ahhh! [ shrieking ]

- Ray what are you doing! Ray!

- You believe that stupid mole guy

thought I had a dime in my pocket.

- Dude, that was not cool!

You just made enemies with the mole people over ten cents!

- Pfft. Who cares?

We won.

And again, zero downside.

- Oh, I did have a dime.

[ party music plays ]

[ squeaking and chattering ]

- Hey look. A downside.

Uh... excuse me?

I didn't expect you guys all stop

and stare at me like that.

- What do you want, surface jerk?

- "Surface jerk?"

- You walk on the surface. And you're a jerk.

So you're a surface jerk, ya surface jerk.

- You're the ones in my living room

in the middle of the night!

- Yeah! How does it feel

to have a bunch of us inv*de your space? Huh?

- I do not like it.

- Well now we're in your above-ground, square tunnel.

- It's called a house.

- You're called a house, surface jerk.

- Henry?! What is going on down there?

- Uh...I'm just uh...

watching loud TV!

- It's the middle of the night!

Change it to quiet TV.

- Good idea!

You moles gotta get outta here.

- Oh, do we? - Yeah.

- Well guess what...

I have a "We'll Get Outta Here" card

right here in my pocket.

- Wow...

Why don't you come closer and I'll give it to you?

- Okay, yeah I know what you're trying to do,

and I'm sorry alright-- I told my boss.

- Ha-haaaaa!

[ squeaky laughs ]

- Seriously?

I was going to pay you guys---

- Look, another land loser!

- That's my sister.

- Well, then, your sister's a land loser,

ya surface jerk.

- All right, okay.

You're fine you're just sleep texting

keep going right this way okay I love you goodbye...

No seriously, you mole people gotta get out of my house.

- We will never leave and you can't make us!

Ahhh! He's making us!

- The light! It burns!

- Yeah!

Haha. Ahh!

- I've had enough of these Mole--!

- Ah no again, you're going it all wrong!

- What are you talking about.

- You two know nothing about art.

- I've had enough of these Mole People!

- Not now.

I got this big spotlight to show off my painting.

I'm moving it down to the Man Cave.

- Best $, dollars I ever spent...

- How much?!

- Alright, you got me. It was $,.

But it includes this bag of double-A batteries

it takes to power this baby.

- Listen! Dude,

there was mole people in my living room last night.

- Mole people are the worst...

- Alright so what are we gonna do?

I can't have mole people in my house!

- See? This is why I refuse to negotiate with tunnelists.

- Uh, Ray? - Yeah?

Quit messin' around Schwoz, we gotta light my painting.

- Where is your painting, dude?

- Huh? - Where is your painting, dude?

- Uh...

- The mole people stole your painting!

- Those mole people just crossed a line.

- Oh but they didn't when they went into my house?

- No.

- So now that you're personally affected,

you're going to help solve the problem?

- Yes.

- You want me to cancel your : massage?

- Yes.

- There's a $ cancellation fee.

- Then no...

ARURHGHAHHHH!

- Ahhhhhhhhhhh--

- We've been waiti--

That was weird right?

Did he not see us?

- Should one of us go get him?

- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

sorry didn't see you that first time!

- They've got your painting! - I know!

How are you not out of breath?

- I just didn't scream the whole way here.

- It was for dramatic effect.

And it worked.

Now gimme back my painting, Hairy Poppins!

- Ah-ah-ah... one more step

and we'll tear your beloved painting to shreds.

- Oh, my baby-- don't you touch it!

- Listen!

What if we promise to never use the tunnels again?

Then will you then give us the painting

and stop coming into our houses in the middle of the night?

- No! We no longer trust humans.

Not since your friend broke our last deal.

- He said he had a dime in his pocket,

but then he punched Terry!

- You know, I feel really bad about that.

- I feel like you don't.

- But I actually have an apology

right here in my pocket. - Wow, seriously?

So if you come a little closer I can give it to you...

- Terry don't fall for it again!

What is wrong with you?!

- So how are we going to fix this huh?

- I'll tell you how.

The Mole Way.

[ chattering ]

- That does not tell me how.

- One of us fights one of you!

Winner gets the tunnels and the painting.

Loser goes home and cries to his mama.

- Okay sure fine, whatever.

Who's Ray fighting?

- No, not him.

We're scared of him.

We want to fight you.

- Yeah.

- Okay sure, fine whatever. Who am I fighting?

- You sure about this kid? - Dude, I got this.

I mean they're mole people. - Yeah.

- You will fight... our champion!

Swole mole! Swole mole!

Swole mole!

Swole mole! Swole mole!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa... - Nah, nah, nah...

- You never told me you had a swole mole.

- Arrrhhhh.

- Oh... are you scared?

- No.

Actually I am quite scared.

- You also have to fight...

...blindfolded!

- OH COME ON!!!

- Heyyyyyy, so...

not to be a diva...

but I'm still tied up over here.

- We know.

- Oh, you do! Okay, good.

Buuut...question:

are you planning to untie me? - Of course we are.

- Great, great. Looking forward to that.

Tiny thing:

When do you think you will actually do the untie-ing...

of me?

- As soon as we finish saving Ray and Henry.

- Cool, well.

Do they need saving?

- I'm sure they're gonna.

- 'Cause it just seems like you could,

you know, untie me pretty quick.

But you know more about this than I do, so...

- Yeah.

- I-iiii spyyyy, with my little eye...

something that issss...

scissors.

- Oh is it these scissors? - Yeah!

- Oh great I win.

- Good for you.

- Try using your other senses to fight!

Like feel, or smell.

- I can't smell punches, dude.

- Well can you feel them?

- Yeah. I can feel a lot of them.

I'm in real trouble here-- this mole's too swole.

- I think your painting will look great in our tunnels.

- No it won't,

the lighting in here is completely wrong!!

- I can fix that. - Ready?

- Light 'em up.

- It's beautiful...

- What's happening?! Ahhh!

- Hey, Hen--

Ahhhhh!!

- Yeah! I got him!

I defeated Swole Mole!

- Actually, Charlotte just blinded everybody

with the spotlight.

- And he punched Jasper.

- Oh, sorry...

your face is very mole-like in the dark.

- Right?

- But hey! We got our tunnels back!

- Yeah! - Yes!

And my painting.

- Alright, right. That's kind of cool.

- Sure.

- Look why don't we celebrate by taking our tunnels

to Nacho Ball?!

- Wait--

what should we do with him?

- Ah, leave him.

He's gotta go home and cry to his mama.

- Rahh!

Mole People never cry!

- If we can't have our tunnels, no one will!

- No no no! - Wait, where'd that come from?

What is that?

[ rumbling ]

- What is that?

- What's going on?

- Should we like run?

Orr... - Okay.

- They're blowing up their tunnels!

- Let's get outta here!

- No, not without my painting!

- Who cares about your painting, dude?!

- I do! Now look,

if you're not gonna help me carry it then--

then just leave me here!

- Okay! - Bye!

- Huh.

I did not think that they were gonna do that.

Aye!

- This is so much better with real lasers!

- Right? - Hey wait, cease fire.

Cease fire.

- What?

- How long has Ray been gone?

- About a week. - Yep.

- Should we be worried?

- He'll be fine, he's indestructible.

Resume fire!

- Hey! - Hey!

Come on! You can't just--

stop guarding!

- You stop guarding!

- Tunnel punch!

I'm oooooooohhhkaaaaay!

And so is my painting!

Ahhh!