[ music ]
[ vacuum cleaner ]
- Waasssisszat?!
- Wake up, Lil' Snoozy!
- Jasper, turn it off!
It's too early for vacuuming.
- It's three in the afternoon.
- If that were true, Junk-N-Stuff would be open!
- It is.
- I like your robe. Can I buy it?
- No. - I'll give you two bucks.
- Deal.
- Okay. Let me just get your real money from right here
in my not-empty purse...
See ya, sucker!
- That lady just stole your robe!
- So what?
- She's getting away!
- Ehhh, who cares?
I'll just steal a robe off someone else later.
Circle of life.
- Actually she's having some trouble
getting up the stairs, so... still time to get it back.
- Oh I don't care about a cran--
- What's wrong with you? - Nothing!
Clean my shirt.
- Ray, we got an emergency call!
- The Toddler just escaped from Swellview Prison.
- Dah! - He greased himself up
with baby oil and no one could grab him.
- Ha! Slick move. Let's bounce.
- Ah, who cares about The Toddler?!
We catch him, we throw him in jail,
six weeks later he's back out on the street...
- I know what to do.
[ music ]
♪ Remember when you took The Toddler, bro? ♪
- I don't need the pump-up song!
I need new guys to fight.
I'm sick of fighting the same criminals over and over again.
I'm borrrrrrred...
- Try going on Rumblr. - Huh?
- Try going on Rumblr. - What's rumble-er?
- Nah it's Rumblr. - Yeah, it's Rumblr.
- It's an app. - It's called Rumblr.
- It's an app.
- I sometimes forget how old he is.
- I don't.
- What's Rumblr?!
- Well it's like a dating app,
but instead of matching women with creeps
it matches heroes with villains.
- Why would a villain want to find a hero to fight?
- Attention. - Publicity.
- Yeah, think about it. Any bad guy
that fights Captain Man ends up all over the news.
- And if they actually b*at you in a fight...
- Boom -- evil sponsorship.
They just turned their villain hobby
into a villain career.
- Yeah well, no one's gonna b*at me in a fight.
- Big talk from someone who's afraid to get on Rumblr.
- Oooohh! - Oooohh!
- I'm not afraid to get on Rumblr!
I just like to meet villains the old fashioned way, that's all.
I bump into them at a crime scene,
we start to banter a little, one thing leads to another
and suddenly I'm fighting this bad guy and it's amazing.
- Yeah dude, that's not how
villains and heroes meet these days.
- Yeah, well it should be!
- Just try it.
Get the app, make a profile and put yourself out there.
- I don't know. - Ray, what if your perfect villain is out there
waiting for you right now?
- Yeah well what if I end up fighting some guy
I don't even like and I accidentally spill mustard on my butt
and he spends the whole evening calling me Mustard Butt?!
What then?! Huh?! What then?!
- Did that happen to you before? - No!
- Because that's a very specific concern.
- It didn't happen!
- What if you and Kid Danger went together?
- What, you mean like go on a double fight?
- Sure! Come on, man.
How often do we even fight crime anymore?
Maybe once a week? One on Saturdays?
Listen, just come! It'll be fun.
Come on. Please. - Fine. Okay.
[ music ]
- Okay. Name: Captain Man.
Interested in: Criminals.
Ray, we need that pic for your profile.
- You can't rush art!
Smile with your eyes, not your mouth!
Show me your soul.
No, no, no your other soul. The better one.
Thaaat's it...
That's the one.
I'm on a five...
- Great work, Schwoz! I'm on a five.
- Whoop! Why am I holding everything?!
- Don't care on a five byyyyyyeeee...
- Okay, Ray. Favorite book? - I don't read.
- Favorite poem? - Same answer.
- Hobbies? - Fighting.
- Likes? - Fighting.
- Dislikes? - Reading.
- Okay, describe your perfect fight.
- I don't know I don't know...
- Don't overthink it, just be yourself.
- Okay, uh. It's midnight.
I'm on top of a blimp...
and suddenly there's this bad guy.
Sparks fly and so do our fists.
I defeat him -- obviously --
and I jump off the blimp right as it explodes.
- Oh. Yeah.
- You sure it's not too much? - Oh. No.
- Okay, I think we have our profile pic...
- Oooohh. - Wow.
- I'd fight me. - Totally.
- Alright, profile's done. Let's take this puppy live.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
- Nah.
- No, what are you doing, I said wait!
[ Captain Man's phone gets an alert ]
What's this? - That's a match.
Somebody wants to fight you.
- Huh. Okay.
Oh.
- More matches.
[ alerts continue ]
- Is that a smile?
- Nooooo...
- Yeah it is...
- Maaaaaaybe...
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick. - Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.
Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
[ music ]
- Don't touch my bar. - I'm not touching it.
Just here if you need me. - I don't need you.
- Here if you do. - I won't.
- Safety first. - I'm indestructible.
- Here if you need me.
- Ray, stop pumpin' up your glamour muscles
and get over here so we can start looking at these matches.
- Yeah dog, I wanna look at pictures
of other people and judge.
- Alright, I'm comin'. Jasper, take this.
- Knew you'd need me.
Okay, okay okay.
- Now, I'm gonna show you all the bad guys
that saw your profile and wanna fight you.
- Let's get to the judging!
- Okay. If you don't want to meet up with them for a fight,
you swipe left. If you do want to
meet up with them for a fight, you swipe right
and the app will automatically set up a meeting.
- Y'know it's funny, I feel like ten minutes ago
I told you I wanted to see my matches,
but you're still talking and I haven't seen any.
- Annnnddd, I'm on a five. - Aw, c'mon...
- Okay so just look at these pics and tell me
if you wanna swipe left or swipe right.
- Alright... this guy says his likes are-- - Left.
- Okay. This next guy is from-- - Ooh. Left.
- Wow. This villain once robbed a-- - Big left.
- Are you serious dude?! - What?
- You're not even giving any of these villains a chance.
- That last one's name was Bad Guy.
I'm not gonna match with anybody
who can't come up with a better name than that.
- Yeah, okay, Captain Man.
- What did you say?! - Okay, okay, okay.
More matches more matches... We're gonna do more matches.
Let's do this one guy. This guy right here,
what do you think of him-- - Too short.
Too tall.
Juuust right. - Nice.
- But ugly. Pass.
- What is...
- Ooh. - The Lawn Ranger?
- Yeah man, you guys are a ninety-seven percent match for each other.
- And look his dream fight is on top of a blimp!
At midnight! Just like yours!
- Yeah but, I mean, it's not like he wants to--
[ Ray and Henry in unison ] - ...jump off it as it explodes.
- Yes! That's exactly what his profile says.
- You guys really think that this bad guy could be the one?
- Yeah, dude. - Let's do it.
- Yeah.
- I guess we could swipe right.
- Swipe it right! - Right!
- Okay! Looks like you got a fight set
for an hour from now at T.B.D.?
- Oh, The Beatin' Dungeon!
- Oh yeah... that underground fight club.
- Oh my gosh it's happening!
What am I gonna wear?
- Your... Captain Man uniform?
- Yes, that's perfect! It looks great on me.
But I gotta go lift some more weights first.
- Here if you need me. - I don't need you.
Henry, come give me a spot. - What?!
- Hang on dude. I gotta set up my Rumblr profile.
- You haven't set it up yet?!
- Relax. I'm done.
[ Henry's phone gets alerts ]
Lotta matches, so...
- Let's see 'em! I'm ready to get my hate on!
- Nah I'm probably just gonna pick the first one.
- You're gonna swipe right on the first villain you see?
- Henry, don't do that. You deserve so much more.
- Whatever. This guy seems fine. Just gonna swipe.
- What's his name? - Uhhh... Kyle.
- Mmmm. Sounds like a dud.
- Says he likes energy drinks and punching holes in walls.
- Sounds like my uncle.
[ Ray's phone beeps ]
- It's him it's him! The Lawn Ranger sent me a message.
Oh my gahhhhhd... - What'd he say?
- I dunno I'm too nervous -- you read it you read it.
- I'm excited to get to mow you.
- Mow you. - Yeah.
- 'Cuz he's the Lawn Ranger. - We get it.
- You're not gonna get that kind of wordplay from Kyle.
[ music ]
- Ahhhh!
CAPTAIN MAN: This is so exciting!
I love that there's a place where everybody's down to fight!
- Oh my god! It's Captain Man and Kid Danger!
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Yeah. What's up? - We're the Lizard Twins.
We'd love to fight you one day.
- We couldn't believe it when we saw your profiles on Rumblr.
- Oh do you guys wanna fight right now?!
- We can't. - Sorry, guys.
We're actually here to fight someone else.
- Awww, bumbler.
- Yeah, I matched on Rumblr with the Lawn Ranger so.
[ snicker ]
- What's... - What's so funny?
- Do you guys know the Lawn Ranger?
- Yeah. He's right over there.
- Eatin' chili.
[ giggle ]
- Ohhh no. - Just pretend you don't see him.
Just pretend you don't see him. - He looks nothing like his pictures!
- I agree. You got cat-fished, dude.
- He looks...stupid Rumblr. - He's right behind us.
He is definitely right behind us.
[ Lawn Ranger clears his throat ]
- Hiiiii! - How are youuuuu?
- It's me! The Lawn Ranger.
- Yeah I didn't recognize you. Probably because you look...
absolutely nothing like the pictures you posted.
- I know... I should probably update those.
But don't worry, I can still fight!
Ooopsie!
[ pants rip ]
- Wow.
- That was my pants. - Yeah I got that.
- Excuse me, gentlemen... I'm just gonna
scooch by you real quick...
back in a jiffy... little breeze back there.
- This guy is a loser. - Yeah, I agree.
This was a big mistake. We should go.
- Heroes and villains... put your hands together
for the hottest villain in Swellview!
- Oh yeah!
[ grunts ]
[ heavy metal music ]
- Everyone give it up for Kyle!
[ cheers from crowd ]
- Dude! Dude! That's Kyle!
That's Kyle ! That's my match!
Oh, he's even better than the pictures!
- I'm ready to go. - What?
- I'm ready to go. - Are you serious, dude?
- I'd like to go. - But what about Kyle!
- I'm ready to go.
- Can't you just wait while I fight Kyle?
- What am I supposed to do, huh?
- Just fight your grass guy!
- Ew.
- Look, you matched with him, right?
Okay. There's gotta be something between you two. Give him a chance.
- No you just said this whole thing was a mistake!
You just said that! - Yo, this is part of putting yourself out there.
Okay? You leave now, you'll end up sad, covered in cereal.
- I like cereal...
- WHERE'S KID DANGER?!
- I'M RIGHT HERE!
- Come on, man! Don't leave me here with this guy!
Come on...
Hi.
- Grass att*ck! Grass att*ck!
Grass att*ck! - Who is the adversary here?
Will you excuse me for a second?
[ The Lizard Duo laugh ]
- Shut up.
- Yes! Yes! I'm loving this.
Oh! Pouty lips. Pouty lips.
Yes! Work it. Work it.
- What are these pictures for anyway?
- I don't know. - I don't know.
- I thought you knew. - I thought you knew.
- Well, we're takin' 'em. - Well, we're takin' 'em.
[ The Man Cave phone rings ]
- What's up, Ray?
- I wanna go home. - What's wrong?
- The Lawn Ranger is lame. Kid Danger left me.
And I'm not even kidding I sat down in some mustard
and it's all over my butt!
- Well, where'd Henry go?
- He's fighting Kyle, who's awesome.
- Ahhh-uhhhh!
Uuuuhhhh!
This is the best fight I've ever had in my entire life!
[ glass breaks ]
- I'm gonna destroy you!
- You're gonna have to catch me first, Kyle!
- Where'd you get a grappling hook?!
- I took it off Kyle!
He knows exactly what I like!
- Get back here and feel the Kyle-Driver!
- I wanna go home. Tell Piper to come pick me up.
- Just drive yourself.
- Kid Danger has the keys. Come onnnnn.
Piper has a license, we've established this.
- Y'know it's funny, I feel like ten minutes ago
I told you to drive yourself,
but you're still talking and not driving.
- When I said that to you earlier it was hilarious,
but when you say it to me it's just mean--
- Was Ray having fun?
- No he says the Lawn Ranger is lame
and he wants Piper to pick him up.
[ sighs ]
- Fine. - Nah nah nah.
I can fix this.
- That's Ray's Man Pad. You're not allowed to touch that.
- This is an emergency.
- What are you doing? - Ray doesn't need to leave.
He just needs a new match.
- So... you're setting Ray up with a new fight?
- That's right.
- But you're not even changing the fight times between swipes.
- So? - So you're setting
all those matches up for the same time. For right now.
- Grass on your head! Grass on your back!
Grass on your shoulders! Super grass att*ck!
- I can't do this.
- What's wrong?
- Look, you seem like an awful person.
- Thank you!
- And any hero would be lucky to fight you...
- What are you doing?
- I'm breaking up this fight.
- Noooo! I can change!
Literally in the winter I turn brown!
[ laser blasts ]
- Kyle is everything!
- And I'm leaving. - But whyyyy?
- Look. It's not you, it's me.
I'm... too good for you.
Sorry... - Hey!
Thanks for swiping us!
- Yeah, can't wait to fight you.
- I didn't match with either of you.
- Yes you did.
- These guys say you matched with them, too.
- Let's rush this fooooooool!
[ everyone screams ]
- Ahhhh! - Ahhhh!
- Kyle! Kyle! You okay?!
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
- I thought I lost you there for a second.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Except through that wall!
- You gotta catch me first!
- Get back here, you!
- Hey-ahhhhh!
- Guys! I found some more grass outside!
- Hey... I thought we were...
weren't you fighting me?
Guys? Remember?
We matched? Guys?
Lawn... guy?
Uh this day is the worst.
BARTENDER: Oh yo, excuse me.
This is from the gentleman at the end of the bar.
- Who...?
[ music ]
Toddler?
- Well, well, well...
Captain Man.
- What are you doing here?
- I uh... been a little bored lately.
Fighting the same heroes over and over again.
- Right?
- So my younger brother-- - The Newborn?
- Yeah. He talked me into making a profile
on this app called Rumblr.
- I did the same thing! That's why I'm here!
- Same. But, I don't know...
it's not for me.
- Thank you.
- I mean Rumblr set me up tonight
with this hero named "Kicky McGee."
- Uuhhh. - And he didn't look anything like his picture!
- Yes! Who does that?!
[ In unison ] I like to meet my villains the old-fashioned way.
[ music ]
- Ahhhhh, what a fight! That was amazing.
- Congrats. - Toddler?!
- Hey. Easy, junior, I'm off the clock.
Well. I guess I should get going anyways.
I gotta swing by Swellview airport and...
not sky-jack a cargo plane full of blankies.
Sure would be a shame if someone tried to stop me.
Well. See you around.
- Thanks for the drink, Todd.
- Toddler.
- What are you doing?!
- What? - Go after him!
- Why? - What do you mean, why?
He clearly wants you to chase him.
- You really think so? - I know so!
Now you need to get to that airport and stop him
before he gets on that plane!
- Maybe he was just being nice...
- He left his plans on the bar!
Now. Do you wanna spend the rest of your life
wondering what would have happened if you'd stopped that plane?
Or do you wanna stop that plane?
- I wanna stop that plane.
- Then get off your sad butt and chase that toddler!
- You sure you're gonna be okay without me?
- You ready for round two?
- I'm gonna be just fine.
- Ahhhhhh!! - Ahhhhhh!!
- Haaaahhhh!!
- Thank you!
05x31 - Rumblr
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.