05x36 - The Beginning of the End

[bunniefuu]

[ music ]

- Schwoz, what is that thing?

- Oh, nothing. It's just the Omega w*apon.

[ dramatic music ]

- The... one from the blueprints Ray and Henry got

from all those bad guys in No Man's Land?

- Yes! - The one that can take away

Ray's superpower? - The same!

- Why would you build that?!

- Because Ray told me I couldn't.

And I hate it when people tell me I can't do something.

- I thought he said you shouldn't build it.

- Yeah well, he shouldn't pinch my cheeks

and steal my cereal every morning

but I guess we all do things we shouldn't do.

[ tube alert ]

- See, eating turkey legs just makes me feel more manly.

- See, that's how I feel about grilled cheese.

- What? Oooh hey Schwoz gimme some of that cereal.

- No!

- Wait--are you building the Omega w*apon again?!

- Yes.

- The one that can take away Ray's superpower?

- The same!

- Why do you keep building that?!

- Well why do you keep pinching my cheeks

and stealing my cereal every morning?!

- Because you're so cute when you get mad.

Now gimme some of that Sweet Bootie Crunch!

- Hey hey! - Whoa whoa.

- It's got ten essential vitamins and minerals

and is part of a balanced breakfast!

Get that away from me!

- Okay stop! Stop!

Everybody stop!

- Look he's so cute! Look at his face!

- I'm not cute you're cute!

- We're all cute, okay?! We're all cute!

- Already am. - That's true. I mean...

[ all talking at once ]

- Wait. Why are you and Henry both dressed like half a ghost?

- Oh. - These are togas.

We were fighting the Time Jerker.

- Yeah. Chased him all the way to ancient Rome.

Ate some pretty good food there...

- Oooh. - Nice.

- We watched a bear fight a flock of turkeys...

- Yes we did. The turkeys actually won.

- Wow. - Wow.

- Stumbled across some pretty good statues.

[ everyone groans ]

- Alright, you can all roll your eyes and groan now.

But when the city of Swellview finally builds me

my own statue of Captain Man--

- We will roll our eyes and groan harder.

- That's a fact. - Yes yes.

- Considering everything I've done for this city,

it's the least they can do for me.

- You already have your own holiday,

they just opened Captain Man Stadium,

there are twelve streets named after you...

- Which makes driving very confusing.

- Right?! - Yeah.

- We all should be on the road when it's time anyway.

- Anyway... we captured the Time Jerker,

and we took his new time-ray he built.

- Oooh how does it work?

- The same way any dark matter fluxuator does.

- You just point and sh**t! - No, no, I'm eating this!

- Okay, where'd you send it?

- To right about now.

- Ah! What the heck?!

Hey, I'm trying to study, quit throwing stuff at me!

- Hey! Hey! Schwoz! Schwoz get back here!

CAPTAIN MAN: Dangit!

- Would you guys keep it down? I'm sleeplearning.

Or s'lurning.

- What are you talking about?

- "Learn To Fight While You Sleep.

And Also Spanish."

- Mm-hmm. It's a one-hundred hour audiobook

that teaches you to fight while you sleep.

- Those books don't work. - Yeah, they do!

And I want to learn to fight so I can go on a mission

with you and Ray before I head off for college.

- Wellll I think you've got plenty of time, Jasper,

because we don't graduate high school for another year, right guys?

Right?

Guys?

- Does he not know? - Not know what?

- Someone's gotta tell him.

- Tell me what? - You tell him.

- I can't I'm s'lurning!

- Okay what's going on?

- Henry... we're graduating this week.

- What? We did it, guys!

Seniorssss! - Okay, this is just sad.

- Henry.

We are graduating from high school.

But you aren't. - Hmm?

- But you aren't. - Hmm?

- I know you can hear me. - Hmm?

- You're just using our "hmm" thing as a defense mechanism.

- HMM?!

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick. - Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.

Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- What do you mean I'm not graduating?

How could I not be graduating?!

- You've missed too much class fighting crime over the years.

You don't have enough credits to graduate.

- I mean, honestly, when was the last time

you were at school?

- The other day... when I broke my arm

and Ray and Schwoz came in with the trebuchet?

- That was a year ago. - Whu-ah?!

Why didn't anyone tell me I'm not graduating?!

- School's been sending you warning letters

every week for a year.

Did you open any? - No, I just tossed 'em aside

cause I assumed they were bad news!

- Well, good news...

you still have...

perfect teeth?

- Yes thank you, Charlotte, my teeth are great

but also are you about to move away and go to college?!

- Yeah I'm leaving for Dystopia the day after we graduate.

- You're going to college in Dystopia?!

- No-- - That place is a crime-ridden toilet!

And it's on the other side of the world!

- I know that-- - Do you even speak Dystopian?!

When did you learn this?! HOW MUCH HAVE I MISSED?!

- I'm taking a gap year to run a charity in Dystopia.

After that I'm going to Harvard.

- Well what about Jasper? Is he going to Dystopia, too?!

- No, he got into Harberd, which sounds like Harvard,

but is a very different school--

- Hey, we gotta roll.

Are we all packed up for One Night In The Desert?

- Yeah, you load up your car, and I'll wake up Jasper.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa -- One Night In The Desert

is an all night party for graduating seniors only.

- I'm graduating, too. - Hmm?

- Going to Florida State. - HMM?!

- Don't start!

- Y-y-y-you're my younger sister,

how could you be graduating already?!

- I did bad things.

Spent a loooootta time in summer school.

Ended up earning enough extra credits to graduate early.

Seniorsssss! - Seniorssss!

- Seniorsssss!

[ in unison ] - Whoo whoo whoo whoo!

- NO. No, no, no, no, no!

- No, no, no, no, no, no... Release. Release.

Release. Release.

- Ray, I got a big problem here...

- One thing at a time, Henry. - Okay.

- Problem solved! What's your deal?

- My "deal" is that everyone's graduating from high school except me!

- So? You don't need to graduate from high school

to be a sidekick. - But I don't want to be

a sidekick for the rest of my life!

- And you won't be.

You can take over and be a full-on superhero.

When I retire in thirty years.

- Thirty years?! - Okay, you got me.

More like forty years. I'm in fantastic shape.

- Dude, I don't want to be stuck in Swellview

being a sidekick for the rest of my life!

- Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't realize

that you were "stuck" in Swellview with me.

- Yeah, I guess I didn't realize it either!

I've been too busy down in the Man Cave for six years

answering emergency calls!

[ emergency call alert ]

- Emergency call. - Seeeee?!

- I'll answer it. - Let it go

to emergency voicemail. Henry and I aren't done here yet.

- Emergency voicemail is full.

- Really? - Yeah.

Remember that girl, Mika? Who saved you

when Jack Frittleman trapped you inside that escape room?

- We saved her, but yes.

- Well she leaves about ten messages a day

asking if she can help you guys fight crime.

MIKA:Hi, it's Mika! Just want to let you to know

that I'm here if you need me to help fight crime.

MIKA:Hey, it's Mika again--

MIKA:Here if you need me. Here if you need me.

MILES: Hey, this is Miles.

Can you call my sister back? She's losing her--

MIKA:Okay I don't know what Miles told you--

VICE MAYOR: This is the Vice Mayor!

- Oh! Oh! That's probably about my statue.

Press play press play press play!

VICE MAYOR:I need you and Kid Danger

to come to my office right away!

- You hear that?

He just said he's gonna give me my statue!

- He didn't say a single word about a statue.

- Pfft. Well what else could it be about?

- Literally anything.

- Owww!

Release. Release. Release.

Drop. Drop. Drop.

- Maybe I can talk to the Vice Mayor

and he can pull some strings and let me graduate or something--

- What? No, no, no, no, Henry, no, no, no, no! - Why?

- The Vice Mayor only grants one wish per meeting, okay.

So if anyone is going to rubbing his little belly

and getting a wish granted, it's gonna be this guy...

KID DANGER: Alright, man. - Who's Henry?

- Nnnnnnnot meeeeee?

- Not him.

- Okay.

- Wait, wait... come back.

- Comin' back!

- Where's the Vice Mayor? - On vacation with my mom.

- What? Nice.

What?

- He told me to play this for you when you get here.

- Kid Danger! Claptain Man! Captain Man.

Whatever, I'm the Vice Mayor, not the record-it-twice Mayor.

So I'm just gonna keep going.

Fellas, this here is Bose.

- Hey, Captain Man and Kid Danger!

Hey, future Bose!

Hey, past Bose! That's me.

VICE MAYOR: I married Bose's mom yesterday,

which means I get to go on vacation.

With her. Not with Bose.

So he's your responsibility now. - What?!

- Watch him, feed him, change his diapers, whatever.

VICE MAYOR: I'll be back in two days and his mom assures me

that she'll know if you try and swap him out for another kid,

so don't even try that. - Dangit!

- If you keep him safe and mostly unharmed

there miiiiiiight just be a statue of you in your future,

if you know what I'm saying.

And what I'm saying is, "I'll give you a statue."

[ taps on desk ]

- Yes! Yes!

VICE MAYOR: See you in two days.

Now turn this thing off or look away --

unless you want to see me in the tiniest beachlegal swimsuit in the world.

- Nope nope nope. - Hard pass hard pass.

- Come on, buddy. - Dude, no.

We can't take this kid back to the Man Cave.

- So we just find some excuse to dump him with

Schasper, Schiper, and Sharrr...

lotte. Charlotte.

I couldn't stop myself. - I feel like you could have.

- Cat's outta the bag. We know someone named Charlotte.

- Great. Can't wait to meet her, Schasper, Schiper, and Henry.

- Let's go. - Dude, dude, dude,

no we can't stick this kid with any of those schpeople

because they're all at One Night In The Desert.

- Huh? Even Schiper? - Yes! She's graduating already!

- Before shoo? She's schgraduating before shoo?

- She took a lot of shummer shhchool

and I can't schtinkin' believe this is schappening to me!

- Careful! You could have severely injured my chances

of getting a statue!

- Ow! Hey, get back here!

[ sandstorm wind blows ]

- Ughhhh. I wait all year for One Night In The Desert

and we get a sandstorm?

- Well, at least we still got this cave all to ourselves.

And we're still graduating tomorrow.

- Seniorsssss! - Seniorsssss!

- Seniorsssss! - Ahhhhh!

- What're you doing in that sand bank?!

- Just trying to find a place to learn to fight while I sleep.

And also Spanish.

But people keep waking me up!

MITCH: Ow! Hey man!

I was here first!

- Mitch Bilsky?! - You're not even graduating!

- I'm crashing One Night In The Desert, okay?!

I started high school ten years ago

and I'm not waiting another three to graduate!

MISS SHAPEN: I hear you in there, Bilsky!

- I was never here!

- Yer outta here!

- You know, what's your problem, Shapen?!

- You haven't even graduated yet!

- Only because the system's biased against dumb people!

- Hey be quiet I'm trying to s'lurn!

- You want to find a different cave?

- Yes! Seniorsssss!

- Seniorsssss! - Seniorsssss!

- Ninth grade! - Teacher!

- Not you, Shapen. - Don't you--get out of here...

- ...Albert Einstein, - What are you talking about?

- LeBron James, The Pope. - What?

- None of these people graduated from high school.

- I am positive all those people graduated from high school.

- Oh my god! Is that my statue?!

Oh wow. I thought it'd be bigger.

Shut up I don't care just open this crate

I wanna see my statue. - There's no statue inside.

- Huh? Then what is this thing?

- Whoa -- is this the Man Cave?

- Who's that? - Uh, this is Bose.

He's the Vice Mayor's step son.

We gotta watch him for a couple days.

- Who's this guy? Schiper? Schasper?

- No that's Schhhhhhwooooz.

Schwoz. Wow I did it again.

- Nice to meet you, Schwoz.

- You may wanna dig up that memory wiper.

- On it!

- What does the memory wiper do?

- Oooh. We might not need it, Ray.

- Who's Ray?

- Okay yeah yeah yeah go get it.

- Wait, wait Schwoz what is this thing?

- It's for the meeting Kid Danger set up

with the Mayor of Neighborville.

- Ohhhhh, no...

- What kind of "meeting?" - Is that today?

- He's being recruited to be a superhero!

For Neighborville!

- Go get the memory wiper, Schwoz!

- Let me know if you take the job!

- Okay. - Byeeeeeeeee...

- Oh, yeah?

- Listen, I can explain.

- Oh, yeah?!

- Previously, in the Man Cave.

Captain Man was upset to find out that Kid Danger

set up a meeting to be recruited

by the Mayor of Neighborville.

Schwoz was off finding the memory wiper.

Whatever that is.

Bose was a little hungry.

Let's see what happens.

Sorry. I watch a lot of TV.

- So how long have you been thinking about leaving me?!

- Look, I'm not trying to leave you, okay?

Look...I don't even want the Neighborville job.

- Yeah, what's this crate doing here?!

- The Mayor wouldn't stop calling me, okay!

So I thought I'd just let him come here and make his case,

and then I'd say no and he'd never ask me again.

- Yeah, okay! Yeah. Hey, let's hear his pitch!

I mean if he's from Neighborville, it's probably lame...

[ music - Bonnie Tyler's "I Need a Hero" ]

♪ I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night ♪

♪ He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast ♪

♪ And he's gotta be fresh from the fight ♪

♪ I need a hero

- Helllloooo, Kid Danger!

Neighborville needs a hero, and it could!

Be! You!

- This doesn't seem lame!

- First up: you're gonna love your very own

D-d-d-danger Caaaaaaave!

And you'll never be lonely with your new roommates --

these cheerleaders!

[ in unison ] - Yeah, come on!

Welcome, Danger!

- Who cares about cheerleaders?

- I'll tell you who cares!

Kid Danger's new sidekick, oh Lil' Dynomite!

- Hi, sir! Are you ready to have someone

follow you around and tell you how great you are?

- I mean, kind of, yeah...

- Okay, wow! That's so great!

And you're great for sayin' it!

- You shut your lil' mouth!

[ cheerleaders ] - Yes!

- And finally, what would you say to having your very own...

Statue?!

- Okay, that's enough!

- That's right, a statue--

- You know maybe you should take the job, Henry.

- Who's Henry? - Dangit!

- I think it's him.

- Where's that memory wiper. Schwoz?!

- I don't want the job.

- Oh, really? Because I'm starting to question

your commitment to Swellview!

- My commitment to Swellv-- are you kidding me?!

- Well you don't seem very committed to me!

- I'm not graduating from high school

because of how committed I am to this job.

- "Oh! My friends are leaving and I'm stuck here in Swellview

being a sidekick and saving lives!"

- Exactly. I've been too busy saving everyone else's lives

I forgot to have one of my own.

- You swore an oath to defend this city.

- When I was thirteen! - So?

- So maybe I don't want to do it anymore!

- Yeah 'cuz you're obviously terrified of being

"stuck here in Swellview with me."

- Yeah, Ray, I am!

- Who's Ray? - Dangit!

- I think it's that guy.

- WHERE IS THAT DING DANG MEMORY WIPER, SCHWOZ!

- I don't want to be your sidekick for another thirty,

or forty, or fifty years!

CAPTAIN MAN: But man, that was always the plan --

you'd be my sidekick and then you'd take over

as Captain Man when I retire.

- I don't want to be Captain Man, okay!

I don't ever want to be Captain Man!

I will never, ever be Captain Man!

- Psst. He's right there.

- Then why are you even here?

- That's a good question.

- What are you doing?

- Quitting.

[ everyone gasps ]

- Hey, everyone. I'm Henry Hart.

And I used to be Kid Danger.

Oh -- and Ray? - What?

- I'm taller than you.

- Sir? Can I get a ride home?

- There, there, there...

There you are, young man.

- Honestly, mom, I'm not in the mood right now!

I just got in a huge fight with my boss and don't even know--

- My son is a failure!

- Okay, that's a little harsh.

- Your father and I were snooping in your room

and we found your letters. - What letters?

- You're not graduating from high school?!

- Ohhhh, those letters.

- My son is a failure!

- Okay, listen...

- How are you failing all of your classes?!

What have you been doing with your life?!

- I'll tell you! Nothing!

- Well, actually... - He's been doing nothing!

Because he's a failure!

- You want to know what I've been doing with my life, Dad?!

I'll tell you what I've been doing!

Saving this town!

That's right -- I'm Kid Danger!

[ Jake and Kris gasp ]

- So our son's a liar now, too.

- What? Why would I lie?

I'm not lying. - Stop it, Henry.

- I really am Kid Danger! Here, I'll prove it to you.

Okay, look I don't have my gum balls because I just quit.

But if I didn't just quit--

- So you're a quitter now, too?!

- No! Well, technically yes.

But I didn't know that I was gonna--

KRIS: Ahhhh! - Grrrrr!

- Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

- If you're looking for Kid Danger,

I actually just quit.

- Ahhh! Ahhhh!

- Okay... I'm almost done wiping everyone's memories.

- Yeah yeah yeah.

- Just wanted to say -- you did a great job

of wiping everyone else's memories!

- Oh, thank you.

- But maybe this time you could find it in your heart to just...

let me go.

- Aww. Get outta here!

- Bless you, sir.

Weeeeeeee...!

- What a cutie!

- Whatcha doin'?

- Buying a school.

- School of fish? Good idea.

You gonna ride 'em or race 'em?

- No, it's a school for people.

- Good idea. You gonna ride 'em or race 'em?

- What? No, I'm buying a fake school

so that when Henry comes crawling back in,

begging me for his job--

- Okay, one last memory to wipe.

- Won't take long. Not a whole lot goin' on in the old...

um...

- Brain?

- Nooo...

- Head?

- Nooo... what was the first one?

- Brain?

- Nooo...

CAPTAIN MAN: Wait, wait. Hang on, hang on...

if I'm gonna get my statue, I gotta return this kid

like I found him. - Sitting down.

On it.

- Schwoz, how hard would it be to alter the memory wiper

so it only erases specific memories?

Like, only memories that involve me,

or things that I've said or done.

- Yeah, there's a setting right here.

- I'm sorry, what?

- It's easy! I can adjust this setting

and it will only wipe the memories of you.

- Then why haven't we been doing that this whole time Schwoz?

- Because it's so funny!

"Ohhh noooo I don't know who I am!

"I've lost all knowledge of my life

and the people who love me?!"

- That's true. - So funny.

- But in his case, maybe just wipe his memories of me.

- Got it.

SCHWOZ: Aieeee!

- Remember me?

[ theme music ]