07x29 - Quailman Vs. the Little Rubber Army

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop
Boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop
Boo-doo-bop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop
Boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop
Boo-doo-bop ♪

[whistling]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop
Boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop
Boo-doo-bop ♪

[chuckling]

[growling]

Hey! Hey! [screams]

[whistling]

[straining]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop
Boop bop boop du-bop ♪

[Doug] Dear journal, bluff scouts'
Survival Saturday

had finally arrived.

I'd been practicing for
the survival competition for months,

and I was gonna make sure that this year
my patrol won...

[Roger] Hey, Funnie!

Did your mommy pack too many pairs of
undies for you?

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

[Doug] And Roger's patrol didn't,

even if he cheated like last year.

[whistle blows]

[Bud] All right, scouts,

pull up your sock garters, gather around.

This year, the first patrol
to safely complete the survival course

will earn the right to call themselves...

Super bluff scouts supremo.

♪ Super bluff scouts supremo ♪

[Bud] Now, this year,

as part of our hands-across-bluffington
program,

each patrol will be assigned
a young tendertoe scout to train.

Cool! Ha ha ha. Servants.

Remember, scouts, it's the sworn
sacred duty of every patrol leader

to teach his tendertoe the bluff scout
way of the woods.

That's even more important than winning.

-Doug!
-[Doug] Huh?

Doug! Doug! Doug!

[Doug] Uhh!

Well, Douglas, it looks like you
found your tendertoe...

Doug, you're my hero.

Or he found you.

Oh, man!

[whistles]

[Doug] Great! Just great!

We'll never win with
Todd Bentley tagging along.

I don't know, man. How much trouble
can he be?

Lots! Remember that time at the Honker
Burger when he spilled all his food

and humiliated me in front of Patti?

Doug, scoutmaster dink says it is time
to be hitting the dusty boulevard.

[Roger] Hey, kid, tough break.

Too bad you got stuck with a loser patrol.

My brother Teddy here's
got the smarts to go with the best.

Yeah, you know, Roger's patrol won
last year. Ha ha.

And that's 'cause he cheated.

Ah, quit bragging on me, Funnie.

I'll get a big head. Hey!

Oh, how clumsy of me.

See you on the other side, lame-os.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Lame-os!

We'll b*at you guys, right, Doug?

Come on, let's go.

We got to get moving now.

Come on, Todd.

Oh, yeah,

we gotta win.

Wait for me! Uh, I'm coming!

Which way, patrol leader, best buddy, sir?

Let's check the map.

OK, I think we're about here.

Hmm. Hmm.

Hey, can I do it?

Come on, guys, show me.

Uh, look, we're kinda
busy right now, Todd.

I know, why don't you find us some edible
plant samples?

Here, use this bluff scout manual.

OK. "edible plant samples."

Cool!

[all talking at once]

"Edible plants are defined as plants
that you can--uhh!"

Whoa!

Hey, Doug, come look at this!

I think I found a food plant!

We ought to make pretty good time if we--

[Todd] Doug, check this out!

Is this an edible plant?

-Huh, guys?
-Huh?

Doug, a mostly big-sized
food is calling out for you.

Is it-- ooh! Aah!

I think Todd found a giant burping
beet plant.

That would be my guess, man.

[Doug] Put on your lifejackets!

Come on, hurry up, guys!

We're getting way behind.

Don't worry, man. We've still got time.

Oh, boy, canoeing! Is this how I hold it,
Doug?

Huh, Doug? Huh?

Todd, I don't have time now.

Just let us do it, OK? Faster, guys!

[Roger] Hey, losers!

A motor boat?

Oh, man, Roger.

Hey, that's cheating!

Ohh! Todd, sit down!

Come on, let's try and lose 'em.

I'll help.

[Doug] Todd, stop!

You're turning the boat the wrong way!

Hey, Funnie, love the color.

I didn't know you were an autumn.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Aah! Aah!

[laughing]

Good work, Teddy.

I taught him everything he knows.

Hey, squirt, what's loser-boy taught you?

[laughing]

You can't get away with this, Roger.

At least you aren't pink anymore.

Uhh!

Come on, you guys.

If we get up this hill fast
enough, we can catch them.

Quiet down, losers, here they come.

Look at that hill.

We gotta climb up, like, a thousand miles.

I'm gonna really need to carbo load, guys.

I do not know if I can be doing it.

I am deceased on my digits.

We've got to do it.
We gotta make up lost time.

Let's go, go, go!

Yeah, we can do it.

Let's go, go, go!

Hey, Doug, that hill's
kinda steep, man.

[grunting]

Todd, wait for us.

Whew!

[all grunting]

Whoa! These ropes are slippery.

Maybe that's because of this greasy-grease
auto grease.

Whoa!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

[crash]

Todd, you OK, man?

Uh-huh, I think so.

Oh, man, look at this!

It seems all I do is pack and repack.

I'm sorry.

Sorry doesn't help!
You should have waited!

I just wanted to help.

Help?! That was our last chance to win!

I'll never get to be a super bluff scout
supremo now, Todd!

-[Roger laughing]
-I don't want to stay with you anymore.

So long, losers!

I'm gonna go with Roger.

At least his tendertoe's
learning something.

Don't you think you were
a little hard on him, man?

He's just a little kid.

He messed up all day, Skeet.

He doesn't know how to do anything!

I know, man. I think that's why we were
supposed to teach him.

[Doug] Well, the competition
would be easier without Todd around.

But I felt really bad
about the way I treated him.

Quailman would never treat
a little kid like that, would he?

[narrator] In the annals of courage,

one hero towers above the rest: Quailman,

seldom sleeping, seldom slacking,

seldom stopping for snacks

in his quest for truth, justice,

and the way of the quail.

"Megalopolis declared safest city
in the universe.

Quail duo to take first vacation
ever."

[dispatcher] Incoming message
from Planet Bob.

Hello, son. How are you?

Quaildad, I'm fine.
What's up?

Well, remember your third cousin Todd?

Tornado Todd?

The most disaster-prone kid to ever visit
Planet Bob?

Now, now, that meteor mishap could
have happened to anyone.

Anyway, it's time for Todd

to start phase one
of his superhero training,

and I thought it would
be a good idea for him

to spend a few weeks with
an illustrious superhero.

Good luck! After that meteor mishap,

what kind of quail fool would agree to
teach Todd?

Oh! Oh, no!

No way! No! I won't do it!

I've got a vacation to plan.

It's important, mister.

We have an obligation to pass on
the traditions of truth, justice,

and the way of superheroes everywhere.

But I'm going on vacation.

Oh, all right.

When will he be here?

He left yesterday afternoon,

so he should be arriving about now.

Aah--

[crash] Ooh!

So much for a vacation.

I think this is the coolest
superhero place ever.

My friend Larry, he said
the Sofa of Solitude was the coolest,

But I said, "no way!"

The Thicket is totally cooler.

Todd.

Kid Quail! Call me Kid Quail!

All us superheroes gotta have neato,
supremo names.

So, I told Larry Quailman's not
just cool,

He's smart, too.

Uh...thanks.

So, what are you gonna
teach me first, huh?

How about how to observe
a moment of quail silence?

Cool! Got that one.

So, what's next, Quailman? Huh, Quailman?

Ohh!

Look, Quailman, I invented a new way
to bob and dart.

[grunting]

[crash] Whoa! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Oh, man!

Nice. Very nice.

[Doug] How's that dusting coming?

All done!

OK, soupy fiend,

feel the wrath of my mighty Quail Eye.

Oops!

[narrator] Megalopolis at night.

The city slumbers peacefully,

unaware that evil lurks nearby,

creeping ever closer to
the city's cultural center:

The museum of really big food.

[Todd] Hey, Quailman, what's this?
What's this, huh?

Evil elegance magazine?

I guess you read this to keep up with
the bad guys, huh?

Uh-huh.

So I've been here for a week now.

Somehow, it seems longer.

And I was wondering, when am I actually
gonna vanquish a villain?

Haven't you heard? There are no villains.

Thanks to us,

Megalopolis is the safest city
in the universe.

This just in.

Megalopolis is no longer the safest city
in the universe.

Huh? What?

The museum of really big food

was burgled overnight.

Stolen items include a 40-ton jellybean,

affectionately known as Big Sweetie.

Not Big Sweetie?

Why, that's my favorite jellybean
in the whole world.

Come, Quaildog, Megalopolis
needs us.

Whoo-hoo! A villain!

Just let me grab my cape,
and I'll be ready.

Quick, Quaildog, activate
the child safety net

to protect Kid Quail,
and then we'll fly away!

All set, let's go!

Huh?

Fear not, officer,

Quaildog and I will soon
unmask the identity of these evildoers.

Aha! A clue.

Look, Quaildog, in the gelatin,

it's one of those baggy-baggy bean buddy
collector toys.

Cool! Does this villain realize I've never
even seen Paulie the loquacious plumber?

We'll take him to the Thicket.

Bounce away!

I don't get it, Quaildog.

What kind of villain would carry a doll,

I mean, other than a kid?

[whines]

And who would have size 2 footprints

other than, say, a kid?

And how could anyone crawl through those
small air ducts,

unless they were... A kid?

Maybe it was a kid.

Leave this sort of thing to the experts.

...with an up-to-the-minute report

from the museum of colossal toys,

which is being robbed even as we speak.

Wow! That is an up-to-the-minute
report.

Come, Quaildog, we're needed.

Can I come? Oh, please, please, please?

Sorry, Kid Quail, but this is no time
for amateurs.

Quaildog, activate the child safety net,
and we're off.

Ready, Quaildog? Fly away!

[Quaildog barks]

I never get to have any fun.

Hey!

It's Quaildog's remote control.

No stupid old child safety net's
gonna stop me.

I'm gonna fly...away...

Ooh!

I don't get it, Quaildog.

What's this villain up to?

We need a clue.

What? The Mini-Van of Doom?

[whistling a tune]

[gasps]

Quailman!

Unhand that giant kazoo, rubbery fiend.

No! It's an integral part
of my sinister plan.

This is your 207th sinister plan
to date, Rubbersuit.

You'll have to be more specific.

With this kazoo and
my other secret w*apon,

I will soon control,
own, and selfishly hoard

the world's entire supply of spongy,
orange circus peanuts!

[cackles]

Circus peanuts?

Yuck.

Enough! It's my crime,
And I'm sticking to it.

Then prepare to be stupefied
by my Quail Eye.

[gasps]

Not the quaileye!

Take that, you egregious example of evil!

And so, Quaildog,
yet another dastardly plot

to control the world's supply of synthetic
produce with large toys is thwarted.

I'll get him, Quailman!

Ai ai ai! I got him. I got him, Quailman.

I'll hold him, and you hit him.

Kid Quail!

A quail hero never hits.

We teach evildoers a better way.

And I thought I told you to wait
at the Thicket!

I'm tired of waiting

and dusting, polishing, and sweeping.

You're supposed to teach me
to be a superhero, not a housekeeper.

For your information, a superhero keeps
his Thicket neat,

and he doesn't disobey orders.

[barking]

One second, Quaildog.

I'm educating Kid Quail.

What's the matter? Uh-oh.

Get ready to meet my secret w*apon,
undie-boy.

[plays fanfare]

Presenting the incredible
bouncing rubber kids.

Kids?!

You reprehensible rogue!

You know I won't use my powers against
innocent children.

Why do you think I picked 'em?

Plus, you can't do this with adults.

[gasps]

Get 'em, kids!

[kids laughing]

Wow, with those
specially made rubber suits,

the kids don't even get hurt.

Youngsters, don't try this at home.

Cease and desist your evil ways,
tiny rubber tots.

I won't harm y--ooh!

Unh! Aah! Ohh!

Quailman!

The way of the quail is--

Ohh!

Uhh...

Aah!

Wow, they're good.

Rubbersuit really trained them.

Quailman hasn't taught me anything.

Aah!

Huh?

Good work, my treacherous tykes.

Now, let's go eat some
of that really big food you stole.

You've swiped enough
oversized toys for one day.

Wait! I wanna come with you!

Kid Quail, no! Don't!

Why not?

Rubber kids have more fun.

All their food is full of sugar,
chemical additives, and secret sauce.

You won't get away
with this, Dr. Rubbersuit.

I already have, goody two-quails.

And while I'm busy conquering the world
with my little rubber army,

you'll spend forever in there

With gum in your hair!

[cackles]

He's always chewing the scenery.

Thank the great bird

that guard was able to get us
out of the gumball machine.

Did you see the size of that quarter?

[Quaildog] Mm-hmm.

Quaildog, I failed

in my responsibility to Kid Quail.

I must find him and set things right.

If I only knew where Rubbersuit was hiding
those kids.

Wait a minute.

Evil elegance.

"Country hideaways of the rich and evil.

Convenient map of villain homes
and clothes."

To the country, Quaildog!

But first, pay this good citizen
for his magazine.

[grumbling]

Hmm.

"Ranchero de los rubber."

This must be the place.

[gasps]

Great grains of millet!

Just a few more new recruits to coat

with a state-of-the-art
boing-and-sproing rubber,

And my evil army will be complete.

Whoa.

[gasps]

Not Kid Quail!

You're one of us now.

Welcome to the rubber family.

Step away from those controls,
Rubbersuit!

Quailman! Again?!

Will you never go away?!

Your little rubber army caught us
off guard once before, Rubbersuit,

but not this time.

Oof!

[both groaning]

OK, this time, too,

But next time, we'll really be ready.

Quailman, how special.

You're just in time
to watch me induct Kid Quail

as the first quail member
of my little rubber army.

Flee, Kid Quail!

Bob and dart!

Save yourself!

No. I wanna stay with my new
rubber dad.

He's teaching me more cool stuff
than you ever did.

Look, I'm sorry for the way I treated you.

I was wrong.

If I get out of this,
I promise to teach you everything I know.

Now flee!

Hmm?

Hmm.

Stop that masked mutt!

He's heading for the room heater!

Oh, no! He's turned up the step
to outlandishly extra hot!

[struggling]

Hey, my suit's melting!

I'm stuck!

The rubber bands are melting.

Good work, Quaildog.

I'm sticky, but free!

Prepare to be stupefied, villain.

Help! Somebody help me!

Ahh, ohh, ohh...

Aah!

Kid Quail, are you OK?

Aah!

You should have let him fall,
quail fool.

"let him fall"?

See what trouble being good brings?

Now, prepare for a dip in my special
superhero suds.

They'll short out your power briefs
forever!

You fiend!

Hold it, Rubbersuit!

Quailman saved me when
you would've let me fall!

I can see clearly now
that he is all goodness

and you are pure evil.

Let him go

Or prepare to be stupefied!

Yeah. Whatever.

Ooh.

Holy guacamole, I did it.

Good work, Kid Quail.

And now--ehh-- if you don't mind...

Sure. I'll save you.

I learned a lot from watching you.

Phew.

From now on, you'll do more
than just watch. I promise.

Ehh...

Ugh! Agh!

What about the rest of you?

Will you leave this wretched place

and take up the fight
for truth and justice?

OK.

You got snacks?

Of course we've got snacks--

Healthy and nutritious malted millet balls
for everyone!

And now, come on!

The world could use a few good kids.

Oh, puh-leeze.

Who writes your dialog?

Wow.

Skeet was right.

It was my responsibility to teach Todd,

And I'd let him down.

I had to find him.

Todd, I'm sorry I yelled at you.

I should have been showing you
how to be a bluff scout

instead of just worrying about winning.

That's OK.

I like to win, too.

Hey, you hungry?

Yeah. Why?

Lunch.

Yep. You were right.

You can eat a burping beet plant.

You're just not supposed to wear one.

[laughing]

Come on. I'll show you
what else we can eat.

[Doug] So, journal, my patrol didn't win,

but neither did Roger's.

Teddy picked the wrong plants.

He gave everybody poison ivy.

Chalky and his patrol

got to be super bluff scouts supremos,

but the funny thing was
I didn't really mind.

Showing Todd stuff

turned out to be a lot more fun
than I thought it would be,

even though he's still got a lot to learn.

But then, doesn't everybody?

[both laughing]

[theme music playing]