- Hey!
- Hey!
- What's up?
- Hi!
- How's it goin'?
- It's good, it's good.
Here's the...
the place where
we're gonna do it.
Awesome, sounds good.
So, pretty much what we're
gonna do is we're gonna do,
uh...
I think when we
talked on the phone,
wanted to make it
pretty normal so you're
- comfortable...
- Yeah.
So probably 10 to 15
minutes of just, uh...
you know, however
you wanna... do it,
and then, uh...
pretty much I think what we're
gonna do is we're gonna try to
- lean you off the bed.
- Yeah.
I think, uh-- can you do a
handstand off this or...?
- Sure.
- You're able to do a
handstand off this,
or is it too high up,
- or are you--?
- I don't know if I totally
understand what that means
when you say "do a handstand."
Like, when I
finish inside you,
we're gonna, like,
vertical for, like,
15 minutes-- 10,
15 minutes-- just to...
so the sperm
stays inside you...
- Yeah, yeah, totally, totally.
- And then, you're
gonna fall out,
and then
you should orgasm.
Are you able to do it?
Like, maybe some
pillows on the floor,
- that on the floor or...
- Yeah.
If you want, I could put the
bed spring somewhere and then
just put this and
that on the floor.
- I don't know what's easier.
- Yeah, yeah, I think--
What do you think's better?
I'm not sure.
I think
that sounds fine.
Uh...
Okay, we'll just--
we'll figure it out.
- We'll play it by ear?
- We'll play it by ear.
All right, yeah, I
guess that's what we'll do!
So I guess we'll
get to it, then!
All right, so I guess
we'll start...
'cause I guess we're ready.
All right, let's get going.
Cool!
Um...
sorry, can I, like-- uh,
how was your drive down?
I need, like, a minute of
decompression first.
- Okay, all right.
How was the drive?
It was
good, it was good.
- upbeat curious music
It's amazing
to love someone so intensely
so instantly.
It's not like anything
I've ever experienced.
It's hard to describe;
it's like a warm wave sort of
coming over me.
When I ended up
meeting with Kyle...
And did you get to
eat some ice cream yesterday?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that was fun...
The interaction
itself was super awkward.
Like a...
horrendous one night stand.
I
love you, honey.
But then, I
got to go on with my life.
I normally ask my recipients
some of these questions,
um, just to get a
better feel for-- for y'all.
You can obviously opt out
from any of these questions.
All right, so how long
have y'all been together?
Seven years.
Uh, what type of
employment fields do y'all
work in?
Um, I work as a telemetry
tech up at the hospital in
- Tuba City.
- Yeah.
For me, I'm a manager over
at Denny's in our hometown in
Tuba City.
I know the next
time I come through there...
- Exactly, yeah!
- Yeah.
Put some extra bacon on there.
Uh...
But, um, do y'all
have a specimen cup?
Oh, no.
We forgot to get that; that's
what I was gonna tell you.
It's okay, I can-- I can
message my fiance to tell
her to come.
I don't know if y'all are
okay meeting her briefly.
- Yeah, sure!
- Oh, that's fine, yeah!
I wanted to meet her.
- Here's my
fiance, Atasha.
- Hello!
Nice to
meet you, I'm Sheaia,
- and this is my wife, Sandee.
- Nice to meet you!
You're so pretty!
Oh! You're too kind.
How are you guys?
- We're good!
- We're doin' good.
Nervous, but...
- Oh.
- I could imagine, yeah.
- Yeah!
So, um, how
did y'all guys meet?
We met through [both] Zumba.
I was forced to
get married with a guy just
because of our
Navajo tradition,
and I wasted half
of my life with him.
She's the first lady
that's given me everything.
So how long have
you guys been together?
Too long.
- You're funny.
Um, we've been together,
what, three years in July?
- Yeah.
- So not very long, but...
- long enough.
- That's good!
- Wow.
- Yeah.
You guys have
any kids of your own?
Not together, no,
but he has kids.
We're most
definitely trying.
I get so busy, I have to
literally put her in my
schedule to make
sure that she gets a...
she-- not
necessarily a donation,
but we can make an
attempt to conceive.
I'm
just like you guys.
I'll text and be like,
"Um, do you have these dates
available?"
"Let's make this work."
- And also...
- Oh my gosh...
It's-- it's most definitely
something to laugh at,
but, like I say, each
month, when it don't happen,
it most definitely
is a heartbreaker,
you know?
So...
Well, good
luck to you guys too!
And we'll keep you
guys in our prayers.
quirky curious music
I look at
this as making a cake.
They have all
the other ingredients,
they're the one
that bakes the cake...
I just bring flour to the mix.
My pops got over...
25 kids?
I think my dad was more or
less addicted to pleasure.
We're doing it for
two different reasons.
I love helping people--
going out and helping
homeless people...
I donate blood,
donate blood plasma...
and six months after
I got out of prison,
I started sperm donating.
All right, all done.
Well, it's good seeing you.
- Alrighty, well,
we'll see you guys.
- Alrighty.
All right, see you.
It was
great meeting you guys!
- Thank you.
- All right.
Sushi tonight?
That sounds good.
All
right, let's do sushi.
Sperm banks
have a lot of issues--
a lot of issues.
It's like a money grab.
It's a party in there.
You know I'm working, right?
I am too.
Yeah, okay.
It's like
how you have malls.
The competition of
malls is online shopping.
We're just online donors.
That's all we're doing.
[electro
A lot of donors
just add "Donor" to their
last name;
it's kind of...
corny.
"Joe Donor," we
have "Brad Donor"...
I didn't wanna be
a "Steve Donor,"
so I just twisted it up
with a little German twist
and made it "Stefan."
I'm 65 years old.
Giving back is a huge
theme in my life now,
for some reason.
minimal curious music
Reaching something on the top
shelf at the grocery store for
someone that can't
do it themselves?
f*ckin' love that.
I'll tell ya this: I've even
gone up and down the aisles at
Kroger looking for someone
that is not tall
enough to reach something,
kinda staking them out
to see if they might need me.
Shoo, look at the
size of that thing.
Sometimes, I replay
conversations with my
soon-to-be ex in my head, and
I'll just say, right out loud,
I'll say, "f*ck you!
Go f*ck yourself!"
She told me once...
"I really hate to divorce
you, because I'll never find
another man that can
do laundry like you."
tender curious music
I'm
still donating.
In fact, I haven't been
donating for very long.
I just started
out six months ago,
and I'm happy to report
three pregnancies already!
I'm currently
28 and turning 29 in August,
and had a lung
transplant in 2019.
I also have Cystic Fibrosis,
so I wanna make sure that
you're not a carrier.
Regarding Cystic Fibrosis,
first, let me tell you how
sorry I am to read about your
diagnosis,
and how proud I am
of you for pushing forward
in spite of this
significant challenge.
You are a true
warrior in my book.
Logistically, what
does it look like when you
meet for
artificial insemination?
I don't charge
money for my sperm donations.
I do it for free.
For all the local donations,
the recipient has come to my
home, and I bring them
out a fully-loaded syringe.
Often, it's recommended that
the recipient have an orgasm
after insemination.
Obviously, I do not
participate in this aspect.
However,
if I was asked,
I certainly would be
available to assist.
Would you have any interest
in meeting socially with me,
say for coffee or
lunch sometime?
I would also
like to meet you in person.
So great
to get that reply,
heart emoji.
I'm really sorry.
Can I take a rain check?
Okay, never mind.
I'm going to get
myself to come.
I'm just going to
be super anxious.
I'll be the
tall bald guy wearing the
pink shirt.
You can do this, Rachel.
I believe in you.
Oh my God!
Here you go!
That's a good
five milliliters.
exciting pop
music playing
She is
Gracie, contestant number 141!
Um, so this is face
and personality, right?
So I told you last night:
you gotta make the judges
wanna be your friend, right?
You're gonna draw 'em
in with your winks...
Mwah!
Mwah!
Should I throw on
a clean diaper?
His
diaper's not clean?!
Um...
nah, it's good.
Okay.
Face and personality.
You cannot--
Elaine, did you
test again today?
Yes, I did this morning.
It was lower than yesterday,
so yesterday was peak.
So let's
try again tonight.
Yeah, it said "Do the
deed" on my little app.
"Do the
deed" on your app?
I
didn't understand that.
Ahhh, boop!
- Oh, where did you go?!
Oh, Ari, you
forgot the onesie, dude!
The white onesie
goes on under that!
He looks cute without it, if
you wanna-- what do you think?
Uh, no, we're
gonna go with the shirt.
Okay, fine.
Hello!
- How you doin'?
- Hi!
Just calling to wish
a happy birthday to the
birthday twins.
It's a whole year and I didn't
even get to meet them yet,
so it's on my itinerary.
You keep saying that.
I think you still
owe me a grand for that
paternity test.
Let's go.
Uh-oh.
- Shh, shh.
You're
spilling the water?
It's gonna be a messy one.
Ugh!
- I have 123 children.
I've got a dozen women
pregnant right now,
one of them's having
twins, so that would be, like,
13 on the way.
I got another positive
pregnancy test today.
That's, um...
a baker's dozen
of women pregnant.
mellow curious music
I suspect by the time
this movie comes out,
I'm gonna be
hanging up my hat.
I'm already too old
to be jerking off in
public restrooms.
What does my mom's
heart rate test have to do
with having a baby?
Uh, yeah, that's
really, um, a test for...
for-- for ovulation.
It's, like, to test when
you could have a baby.
My mommy says that a swan
drops off the baby...
- Uh-huh.
- And then they go
to the doctor,
and then they put the baby
in your stomach to fully
fertilize the baby, and then--
and then you go to the doctor,
and they take the
baby out of you,
and you have a real baby.
You think you
came from a swan?
- Yeah!
- The bird?!
- Mm-hm.
- The bird dropped you?
Mm-hm.
Have you seen any other
birds dropping off kids?
They wear an
invisibility cloak...
Mm-hm, mm...
- So you don't see them.
- Uh-huh!
That's good.
If the bird is
dropping off the baby,
okay, then why am
I Emerson's dad?
Isn't the bird the dad?
- You know?
Are you
ready for the donation?
We are ready, yes!
Mom, you've
lied to me my whole life.
I've lied to
you your whole life?!
I may have let it slip
that that wasn't blood sugar.
mellow curious music
Here you go!
- Are you good?
- Wow, yeah!
All right, I'll
see ya in a little bit.
Bye!
I don't know
if I can even explain the
compulsion to be a mom.
Like my coworker
said the other day,
"I'm 71, still trying
to have that baby."
Number 104, this is Zion!
And I think it
never goes away, that feeling.
Number three
from the boys division,
we welcome to the stage...
- Emerson!
The joy that Ari
has brought me is a little
two year old, who
burps on purpose and farts
and eats his boogers.
How do you thank
someone for giving you that?
It has to be wonderful
to hear all the time,
"Oh, thank you, I can
never thank you enough!"
But I have no clue what
Ari's motivations are.
I don't know if, at this
point, he even knows.
Ho tried to catch me.
Ho tried to catch me slippin'.
Back up, ho!
Back up, ho!
Oh, sh*t!
Back up, ho!
Looks like I'm going
out to Globe today.
When?
Um...
not sure yet, I'm
still talking to them.
- So she's a single woman...
- Mm-hm.
She had lost her
husband two years ago--
he was k*lled
in a car accident.
She works, uh, in behavioral
health as a counselor, so...
So when did
she contact you,
right now or was it earlier?
About roughly an
hour, hour and a half ago.
Mm.
What's that "Mm" for?
'Cause we had plans.
mellow pensive music
I don't have a
problem with what he's doing.
I think him donating
definitely makes him happy.
It's a way for people
to see who he truly is,
and not focus so
much on his past.
We all have the same desire:
we're all trying
to get pregnant,
trying to have a child.
But the recipients...
they come first.
You've got
about 15 minutes.
If you keep it at
body temperature,
it should be fine,
but eventually, they still
die outside the body,
so the sooner the better.
Best of luck!
Okay,
thank you so much!
Mission accomplished.
Let's go home now.
Yeah, I'm hungry.
Hi!
- How you been?
- Hello!
- Hi!
- Hi!
She's so cute!
She's like,
"Who's this mystery guy?"
- Not much of a mystery!
I like your bow!
We call you her
"DD," as in "donor dad."
DD?
That's
cute, I like that.
It's
already gone by so fast.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Stomp your
foot, stomp your foot!
I don't know if I can!
I don't know if I can, but
you have the moves, right?
Oh, you push me away?
Okay!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
No?
Come on, you was doin' it!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Hey Bill, comma,
guess where I am,
question mark.
I'm here at the
ultrasound place in Nashville,
getting ready to go in and see
my baby for the first time,
comma, hahahahaha,
exclamation point.
I wonder if she'll
look like me, period.
I'll let you
know later, period.
We're ready
for you; you can come on back.
Donating
sperm makes me feel good.
Maybe it makes me feel
wanted and-- and needed.
Worth something
to somebody else.
"If it doesn't work,
I'll see ya next month!"
Almost like
seeing my therapists.
Hey, so... how
would you feel about me coming
tonight and staying at your
house until I have to leave
for Nashville around 10PM?
I would probably
sleep after inseminating,
so it's not like you
would have to entertain me
or anything.
It's a great plan!
I would never feel like
I need to entertain you.
You seem pretty chill to me.
You learned that I'm
not an a* m*rder*r,
and hopefully
comfortable now in my home.
Just talking and getting to
know each other better is
wonderful.
Great, see you soon!
- Hey, there!
- Hey!
- How's it going?
- Good!
Happy Sunday!
- Nice to see you!
- Long time no see!
- Nice and warm.
- It's been a while!
Come on in!
- How's it going?
- Good.
Oh! You don't have any
furniture in your living room.
No, but
I'm working on it.
Come on in!
Sit!
Okay, I'll follow you.
Age
before beauty, right?
Hi,
how can I help?
List of
celebrity older fathers.
Here's a
summary from Parents,
"13 Celebrity Dads Who
Had Children After 50":
Jeff Goldblum, 62;
Mick Jagger, 73...
- Seventy-f*ckin'-three!
Ronnie Wood, 68...
It's the
gift of maturity.
Yeah!
I can agree with
that, definitely!
Some of the
donors that, you know,
you see
what they post,
- I mean, they're just boys.
- Yeah.
I'm a man.
delicate pensive music
In society,
there's this idea of
who deserves to be a
mom and who doesn't.
Do I deserve to be a mom?
I have medical
professionals who are saying,
"This really
isn't recommended."
I could die if I
make this choice.
I have determined it is
important enough for me to
take that risk.
What's
the plan if you...
have a baby,
and then the baby's here
but you're not anymore?
In
the perfect world,
I would have a group of
people lined up to...
help me raise
this baby, and then,
if I was to pass away,
continue to raise this baby.
That's something
that I'm, like,
trying to figure out now.
If I was to have a
child and then die,
are you gonna feel
guilty about that?
- Are you gonna feel...
- No.
- I will feel sad...
- Mm-hm.
But I won't feel guilty.
Remember? We did this
when we were adding and
subtracting binomial numbers.
This is the
binomial sequence,
so it's one of
those sequences.
It's a geometric sequence
with a common ratio of two,
and everything keeps
on doubling, right?
You wanna pick another
number, one through 30?
15?
15?
Now, this is a
question on the exam,
but it may not be
question number 15,
because you know I'm
scrambling it and alternating,
but it's gonna be a question.
What are the chances of having
your first five children be
all boys?
Remember, we're adding
the two numbers above it,
so two plus one is
three, one, four,
six, four, one,
and then, finally,
we'll do one,
five, ten, ten,
five, one.
So what would be the
probability of having your
first five
children be all boys?
It'd be one over 32.
Now, I have more
girls than boys,
but my first
five were all boys.
But, of course, I had the
twin girls born this week.
Do you know how
child support works?
No.
Well, let's say
I'm gonna make $100,000,
and then a woman sues
me for child support.
They will get 17
percent of my salary.
So let's say...
five women sued, and
that is gonna give us what?
- 39,389.
That's almost by
the poverty line.
39,000 wha?
delicate curious music
I've been
married so many times.
Every time I get married,
I send them the marriage
certificate.
What, you marry
all these ladies?
Eh, sometimes, but they're
all fraudulent marriages.
My last marriage
was in Uganda.
This woman from Singapore,
she gets money from the
Singaporean government,
but only if she's married--
they don't respect
her lesbian marriage.
I said, "That's ridiculous;
we'll just get married in
Uganda."
You're an embarrassment.
We could agree on that.
- Oh!
Do you remember Brier?
I hear somebody needed
some papers notarized!
- Hey, how are you?
- Good to see you!
- How's everything?
- Great to see you.
It's okay, I
don't need a kiss.
You're getting one
anyway, you're so beautiful.
How could I leave you out?
The truth is I know almost
nothing about Ari's life.
It's totally...
I don't know--
where do you sleep at night?
Yeah, right.
Last night, I
slept in Boynton,
then the night before that...
No, but,
like, during the year!
Where did I sleep
the night before that?
This set's good to go.
I think you have,
like, four sets in here?
Could you explain what you're
doing with all these papers?
Well, I'm actually notarizing
the paperwork for these
passports, right?
Correct?
Correct, these are
children that were born out of
- the country...
- Out of the country.
And they
wanna be US citizens.
I'm
gonna run out of ink.
- Yeah.
You
liked that one, huh?
She didn't like that one.
So I'm curious:
you don't think any
of this is God's will?
There's a reason
this happening.
If you're a God believer--
I think you
make your own choices.
Okay,
but what choices?
I mean--
He could've made better
choices, that's for sure.
So there's no destiny?
It's all about choices?
Yeah! You could
choose good or bad.
No matter what,
you're looking at this as bad?
Yeah.
You cannot see one
positive thing out of this?
No, it's not normal!
120 kids?!
- It's crazy!
- 130.
What,
King David had that!
King Solomon-- they had
plenty of kids, right?!
Yup.
- King Ari!
- Yeah.
If you would have
kept it to all Jewish...
maybe I could
have understood it.
Okay, what about
the Jewish kids?
Would you be open to
meeting some of them?
Nobody wants to be involved!
That's your
joy in life
is that people should be
involved with your kids.
Nobody wants to be
involved with your kids.
Get that through
your head, Ari.
Mm.
You made mistakes,
you ruined your life,
and that's your problem!
hip-hop music playing
mellow curious music
Hey, I am here.
I'm excited
about this process.
Um, I got the soft
cup, have the syringe.
Um, [chuckling] and
yeah, uh, hopefully,
uh, we get a
first-round success.
Uh, just gimme a call back.
Yeah, um...
would have been just
good to let me know,
hey, you're not
gonna come and all.
Um, I am a human, I do
have a life outside of this,
but, um...
Yeah, well, hopefully it's
nothing medical and you're in
good health.
Uh, hopefully I'll be
able to help you next month.
Uh, have a good one!
You know I'm just wining
and dining you up for later,
right?
Dinner now, desert later.
I don't know, we can
probably get desert here too,
- but...
Oh, man...
Gotta put me in the
books like two months ahead.
Got you down, coach.
Put me in, coach!
Lately, I've been
trying to make more time,
understanding that you're
getting to that 30 mark.
I think I can always
go back to school,
but I can't
always become a mom.
I'm not a spring
chicken anymore, Tyree.
Hey Alexa,
play babymaking music.
smooth electronic R&B
I'm pregnant!
Breathe!
We're gonna have a baby.
I'm having a baby!
I need
to call my mom!
Ooh!
Yes!
I did it, I did it, I did it!
So me and my
fiance have been trying to
have a baby for two years now,
and we just got the great news
today: she's five
weeks and two days.
I feel like ever
since I was a little girl,
I wanted to
have a family--
have a husband and kids.
I think we would be
great parents together.
Hi, Rachel,
and happy hump day.
How are things with you?
I just saw David Lynch's
Mulholland Drive this weekend.
It was Naomi
Watts' breakout role.
Fascinating movie.
I've actually
never seen that movie.
It's been on my list
of movies to watch.
Movie night?
Let's do it, sweetie.
I have a pretty
nice home theater setup.
5.1 Dolby surround sound.
It would be a
pleasure to entertain you.
Yes,
definitely movie night.
I haven't had a person
to watch movies with in a
long time.
Also, I'm curious
as to why you identify as "bi"
when you have only
been with one man.
I find the whole
thing interesting,
yet confusing.
I would love to pick
your brain about what
characteristics and vibe
it would take to move your
valence of attraction
toward the male end of the
spectrum again.
Look at the dog!
Who is that?!
Is that a new voice?
Look at your
little speckled paws!
Do you like classical music?
Yeah.
Do you
wanna go see the KSO?
It's an all-Mozart program.
I was gonna buy one
ticket, but I could get two.
Not like a date or anything.
Sure.
Don't hurt yourself.
I'm not
gonna hurt myself!
It's, like, nylon!
Just like that!
Oh my goodness!
It's okay, buddy!
Goodnight.
Have you
ever done this before?
I don't know.
Have you?
I
want to with you.
Wow, this is a feast!
So do you like
the vodka sauce or no?
Yeah, it's delicious!
Mm!
We have ketchup?
Ew!
Why?!
- Mm?
- Mm-hm.
Just to upset you.
We do, but
you're disgusting!
Aiden, what are
you doin', babe?
You have your iPad?
You gotta excuse
me one second,
my son's gonna--
well, our son
is probably making
a mess somewhere.
Excuse me for one second.
Aiden, babe, you
can't do this, babe.
No, no, no, babe,
babe, babe, babe...
Babe, you can't.
- Out, now.
- Aiden, yoohoo!
Come out, come out,
wherever you are!
He was in the bathroom
playing with the cat's litter.
- Ooh.
- Mm-hm.
You gotta
wash your hands.
- We're gonna take a bath too.
- No!
- Yes.
- Nooo!
- Aiden, babe...
- No!
Yes.
Nooo!
- Yes.
- Nooo!
Is he not listening?
Of course
he's not listening.
Do you want me to
discipline him?
- No.
- No, I don't want it.
You cannot
touch the litter!
That's where the
cat goes poopy!
Stop touching the
litter and peepee!
Welcome to life
with a toddler!
Oh, Ari, you wouldn't know.
He's so funny!
- Wash your hands.
Aiden, babe,
don't be a little wuss!
Come on, you gotta
wash your hands, babe.
You're fine.
Yeah, it's been too
long since I've been out here.
Yeah, it's been
since, like, April or May.
Did I tell you?
Me and Aiden were at a play
place and he started calling
- other men "Daddy!"
- Oh...
- That was fun!
- Isn't that funny?
Calling all the men
"Daddy" 'cause he gets it
from daycare.
- He sees other people--
- Oh, the other dads are
picking up the
kid from daycare?
And they're going
"Daddy! Daddy!"
- Uh-huh!
- Yeah.
Ari,
where's my child, Ari?
Go check on my child!
Please make sure he's
not in the bathroom!
Aww, no, no!
No, no, no, no.
- Eww, stinky, stinky!
- Aiden, come on, babe!
I just gave you a bath!
That's where they poop!
You can't touch
the cat litter.
Aiden, come on.
I gotta put him to bed.
I can't--
Yeah, yeah,
let's put him to bed.
- Shh.
Aiden, babe, we're
going to bed, babe.
Come on.
- It's time for bed.
- Shh.
Good night.
- Put your head down.
- Come on.
Okay, Aiden, it's
time for bed, babe.
- Let's go, it's time for bed.
All right.
Come on, lay down, babe.
curious pensive music
Are you excited to
see your dad today?
Uh-huh.
When was the last
time you saw Dad?
I don't know.
Miami, maybe?
Are you gonna do a
dance routine for Daddy?
Show me.
How about this?
Ooh!
- Ooh, that's nice!
- Hey!
- Hey!
Are you excited
to see Daddy too?
What car do you think
he's gonna drive this time?
'Cause every time he comes,
he's got a different car.
Hey!
Hey, Daddy, yay!
- Hungry!
- Look, it's Daddy!
I have 138 children,
and if I spent a
week with each of them,
then I'd only get to
see them every few years.
I have two, three
birthdays a week;
I should be there
for their birthday!
That's untenable.
You could only be in so
many places at one time.
I'm gonna take a
little nap, all right?
A nap?
He has a long-- ahh!
I
keep on doing that.
mellow curious music
You know, all my
siblings own their own homes.
I'm the only one
who's basically homeless,
- you know?
- You're still not homeless.
I don't believe
you're homeless.
Of course
I'm not homeless.
I have homes in 20 states.
Back in New York, you
don't have your place there?
I sleep with
random kids every night.
I'd rather not spend the money
on rent and use it to be able
to, uh, go visit more kids.
This was the picture
that your mom sent me
when you were born.
It says "Daddy's
little princess."
Hey, hey, hey!
- What the heck?!
Ow.
Are you getting this?
I think every
time I hit a buffet,
I'm eating 'til I'm in pain.
I eat 'til I could
chew but can't swallow.
That's when I
know I have to stop.
I think that's
probably my life--
the life that
I made for myself.
Like, right now, if
you meet a woman that you
- like, would you stop?
- Yeah, of course!
I'm gonna stop without
a woman telling me to
- stop!
- When, Ari?
You keep saying that, but...
you've been
saying it for years!
It'll be like
a phased retirement.
Like, if somebody
wanted a sibling,
I'm not gonna say no.
People think it's like an
addiction that I can't stop.
Is it an addiction?
- I mean--
- I think it is.
I think you really just wanna
see how many kids you're
gonna produce.
curious music
Yoohoo!
Speedy delivery!
An addict will
never know they're addicted.
I don't have an
addictive personality.
- What is it?
- I'm not addicted to alcohol,
I'm not addicted to dr*gs,
I'm not addicted to anything!
People have their own
addictions, though!
I think an addiction
has to be something bad.
An addiction is
just something you wanna keep
doing.
What do you get out of it?
Listen, there's
all different ways to measure
wealth.
My bank account would
tell me I'm poor, but...
if you measure
wealth in love and joy...
I'm richer than Elon Musk.
sparse curious music
- Hi!
- How you doin'?
Hi, Tyree,
I'm Maritza.
Very nice to meet you.
- Tyree, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Come on in.
- I got my wife Sarah here.
- Hello!
- How you doing?
- Hi! I'm Sarah.
- Tyree.
- Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
I don't
know what happened.
One day, I
was pregnant;
the next day, I wasn't.
I mean, you
are aware that it wasn't your
fault, right?
I know that's
what you say, Mom,
but just-- I feel
differently about it.
I feel like I just, like...
I had one job.
If your body
can't do its job...
because that's the
way you were born,
you don't have any
control over that.
You know, I'm
sure there's a way,
I just-- you just
have to be open...
to try to figure it out.
Right in here.
- Thank you.
- Yup.
And then we'll
just be-- be waiting!
- All right, thank you!
- Yup!
He is
going through it with me,
but...
like, not in the same way.
tender pensive music
You know how I feel.
I-- I don't like
the relationship.
I think that you're building
on an unsolid foundation.
You're in a place where
you don't have a network,
a support system.
Is this the life that
you intended to live?
I don't think
we enjoy inflicting pain on
one another.
I do think it's part of
our relationship, though.
No, so it was already
offered to you as a
contracted employee.
Okay, have you tried
using a different browser?
So if you go to
the left far side,
see where it says "Taxes?"
Mm-hm, I think that's--
yeah, that's gonna be,
you know-- gonna
solve all our issues.
Oh, you're too kind.
Alrighty, have a nice day.
There's no way
he could fully understand.
Tyree has four children
from other relationships.
That's just gonna
have to be enough...
if I can't have a child.
It is
very complicated.
I told you, just-- just tell
him that you've met somebody!
I don't wanna lie!
Because then I have
to keep up that lie,
and then I feel guilty.
I legitimately enjoy
spending time with him,
I'm just not at all, like,
interested in a romantic
relationship.
You gotta cut that out,
stop staying there so long,
stop watching movies...
I feel bad because it does
sound like I'm coming across
as someone who's...
interested in, you know,
preparing dates together,
when really, I'm like...
"I actually like movies!
Like, let's just hang
out and watch movies!"
And to him, he's, like...
perceiving it as probably
me being interested in, like,
dating!
I don't know...
You can't just,
like, be friendly with someone
without them being
like, "Oh, yeah!
They want me" kind thing.
Especially when the premise
of our relationship is like,
"Oh, hey, I'm gonna
come over to your house.
Can you give me
your semen in a cup?"
We both have to do
sexual things separately.
The process
of conceiving a child is
vulnerable and intimate.
It can be very easy to have
confusion about what that
looks like.
I didn't wanna be
leading you on;
I think that's...
not fair to anyone.
And I value-- I also
value our relationship.
No, I've
never felt that,
being led on.
Okay.
The fantasty about any kind
of relationship is just that:
a fantasy.
You know, I can...
just focus on what
we're here together for.
You know, we have a
mission to accomplish.
Just stay focused on that.
mellow curious music
She's a nice girl.
She's pretty,
she's attractive,
I'm attracted to her.
She doesn't feel the
same way, end of story.
It's not gonna happen.
It's not going to be,
so I need to just...
move on from that.
It's fine!
The age difference
is a f*ckin' joke!
I don't feel rejected,
I don't objectively see it
as any kind of rejection--
it's not!
You know, nothing's changed
about our relationship,
you know, as donor and
recipient and good friends.
Give her a f*ckin' sperm
donation and then go swipe
my card stack on Hinge.
- Hello! Finally!
- Hey, Gabby!
- How are you?
- Yeah, nice to meet you!
Nice to meet you too!
- How are you doin'?
- Good, and you?
Good!
Nice... hat.
- You like it?
- I like it.
I thought
you would like it.
I brought it
special, just for you.
Thank you.
- Baby dust.
- Baby dust.
Thank you so much.
Thinkin' about
smokin' some meat.
You down?
Maybe a little
brisket, little turkey.
I'm down
for some turkey.
- Down for some turkey.
So, um...
a situation
popped up, and uh...
Uh-oh.
Something I didn't think
was gonna happen, bro:
um, me getting
a donor child--
like, custody.
Like, somebody
said, "You have no choice?"
Kinda; the
child's in the system.
And, uh...
When you say
"in the system,"
what does that mean?
The child got
taken from the mother.
Oh, snap.
You gotta figure,
like, me and Atash
been trying to have kids
- together...
- Mm-hm.
And this happened.
I think I want the child, but
I think she wants the child
more.
It will most
definitely anchor her...
- Mm-hm.
- And, uh...
I guess only time will tell.
Nice.
Let's get back to work
on this car, homes.
Yeah, I'm about to
go get my scan tool.
Recording in progress.
Let's go ahead
and call Italeigh Miller,
22-1-0-0-6-7 C-J-D-L.
- I'm Mia, foster mom.
- Okay!
This is my wife, Chrissy.
That's Italeigh.
Hi!
Hi, sweetie!
She just woke up from a nap.
And if
anybody else is on Zoom,
if this isn't your case, can
you just turn off your camera
until we call your case?
Tyree Kelly,
father of Italeigh.
Okay!
Department, you may proceed.
Yes, Your Honor.
We are recommending
the goal of reunification
for Italeigh.
Mr. Kelly has
submitted to a DNA test,
and it does indicate
that he is Italeigh's father.
All right, are you
seeking to place, um,
Italeigh with the father?
- Yes, Your Honor, yes.
- Yeah, okay,
I will, um-- yeah, I will
sign an order of paternity.
All right, so,
congratulations, sir.
Thank you.
Okay, September 19th.
I'll see ya then!
f*ck.
gentle curious music
Need a beer after that one.
I f*ckin' hate court.
I know this isn't, like,
a reality that me and you
talked about--
you know, getting
a donor child.
But...
what am I supposed to do, let
the little girl stay in the
system?
No, you're
doing the right thing,
but I know it's tough.
You were in a
similar situation
in the system as well and...
I just think
they're gonna, uh...
obviously do a background
check and stuff like that,
and most likely, my
past is gonna show.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm kinda worried
about that, but I'm like,
granted, it's 10 years ago.
That's why they
call it your "past."
I know, like, people, when
they all sit around and--
and see the charge,
they're like "Oh, sh*t!
Child endangerment!
That's terrible!"
But, realistically, they
don't know the situation was
self-defense.
The only thing they're
gonna see is me attacking
my teen stepson.
The whole situation is bad.
It'll all work out.
Hopefully.
Just gotta
trust the process.
It's hard to
trust the process.
The process is what
got me into this.
You're a good person.
You have to believe in that.
Not what
strangers think of you,
but what your
children think of you.
And I know for a fact
they think the world of you.
Babe, I'm really lucky
to have you by my side.
Me too.
[electronic chime.
Your body does all
this f*cked up sh*t so you get
excited.
And then you start
tricking your mind,
you start...
looking at it long enough and
crossing your eyes and tearing
apart the pregnancy
test to look for
that second little line.
You know how many pregnancy
tests I've torn apart
thinking, "There's
something there?"
Just hoping...
and convincing myself,
and taking pictures,
and putting different filters
on the pictures to pick on
something-- pick up on
something that the other
picture didn't get.
And this is why I
don't get my hopes up.
[whispering] Why can't
there just be a second line?
Should you
get another donor?
Uh, do what?
Should you get another donor?
- I don't think so.
- I've heard some
people, you know,
they try and try and
try with the same donor,
his sperm is good,
her egg's good,
everything's fine, fine, fine,
but it's just not working.
And then, the next cycle,
they try somebody else,
and bam, she's pregnant.
I think that's
usually a coincidence.
I wanna jump in the pool.
I feel guilty; I wanna
make things right with Mommy.
What's her prognosis, anyway?
- How is she doing?
- I think it's good.
She's getting good news?
- That's promising.
- Her-- her...
markers are
down, which is good.
Well, I have a
theory that, uh,
stress and trauma is
what causes cancer.
Well, I think it does.
And what stress does Mommy
have in her life except maybe
the stress that I caused her?
Well, anyway, if
it makes you feel better,
her numbers are good.
Her numbers are
good, and, what,
she's doing surgery next?
Yeah, three chemos.
She seems to be in
such good spirits, you know?
She-- yeah, she's happy.
- I think she's happy, yeah.
- Mm-hm.
I think-- I don't know.
Ay yay yay...
Passover's really
a holiday of redemption.
I don't know how
much time I have left
to reconcile with my mom.
I'll be in Hungary this
week; I have twins there.
I'm gonna meet them
for the first time.
So of course I'll feel bad I'm
not spending Passover with my
family, but...
So I'm trying to
understand this:
you wanna go out,
fertilize, make babies...
on potentially
the last Passover
your mother's here.
The woman I'm
helping in Israel?
She has no kids.
I could make this
woman's dreams come true.
You can make this woman's
dream come true in June when
she's fertile!
building curious music
Lemme tell you
something, Ari:
I lost my mother.
My biological mother
threw me away twice.
Now you're asking me
to abandon my children
to go be with my mother!
Here, say hi to my mom.
Can you see her?
I'm not telling
you to abandon anybody;
you're gonna see them!
I'm telling you
from my life:
you don't want one
minute of regret.
Redemption, bro!
Oh, going good.
What'd I miss?
So where do the eligible
bachelorettes hang out?
Is that the Richmond pool?
- Am I at the right pool?
- You've met them all.
- Oh, I've met them all?
- Oh. [chuckles] Ah...
- Where do you live?
I feel bad I'm missing
Pesach with the family,
- you know?
- Right, that's gonna be fun,
and then I have
surgery after Pesach.
It's hard!
I always have to make a
decision of who do I spend
time with-- do I go visit
my kids or do I go visit
my parents?
It would be nice if I
was able to combine them,
so that it would
make it easier,
just with time management.
If you wanna come,
you're always invited,
I always love you, but I'm not
interested in your extran--
your strange family.
I know it's very hurtful
to you because you love
everybody's kids.
It's not the same;
you're not a real father.
A father is somebody who stays
up nights and then worries
about the kid
when they're sick.
- How old are you, 48?
- 47.
47, excuse me.
You said you were
gonna be married by 40.
- I said 40s!
- Well, that ship has sailed.
- I'm still 40s!
Yeah, I'm not so
sure about that.
Well, if you wanna
have a kid of your own,
you better hurry up.
You got married at 19, right?
No regrets.
No regrets
getting married young?
You should have
gotten married at 19;
you wouldn't have
had all your problems.
Some people
are like sheep;
you know, they just do
what the other one does.
Not so terrible,
you know,
to make yourself
part of the group!
I wish you would
have a normal life.
To have a Jewish lifestyle,
there's something to be said
for it.
You don't know
what you're missing.
I'm sorry I
took a little longer!
It's okay.
Hopefully we get
some good news in two weeks!
Do you know
what we're gonna do today?
- No, what are we?
So we're
gonna go see Italeigh.
She'll love you.
All you gotta do
is play with her,
make her smile and laugh.
- I can probably do that.
- Yeah.
I'm going to be
the best big sister to her.
You're already the
best big sister.
You're
the best stepmom.
- Thanks.
- Also, you're my best friend,
so...
You're
my best friend!
You're my best friend!
You're my favorite.
- Don't tell anybody.
- Thank you!
- You're welcome!
You're my favorite stepmom!
Oh my God!
Actually,
you're one of my favorite
people.
You're irreplaceable.
- Mm...
- You are.
Yeah.
Ah, be careful
where you're going!
Jocelyn.
Why you acting like that?
You acting out?
Come on, baby.
- Okay.
We're gonna go over there!
Italeigh!
Come on, you
gotta hold my hand.
Come on.
I know.
Jocelyn!
Come here!
Jocelyn.
I'm serious.
What's going on?
Grab another one!
Throw it harder!
Good job, high five!
Yay!
How can I make
things better, then?
Jocelyn!
Stop walking away.
Stop it.
Talk to me!
Come on!
You
wanna go for a walk?
Tyree, come here!
I sympathize with Jocelyn,
but she's the bigger sister.
The attention
needs to be shared,
and you can't put all the
responsibility onto me.
It's not that I'm
tired of this or anything,
it's just that
we're a partnership,
but it's feeling like
I'm taking on, already,
sole of the responsibility.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Jocelyn!
Can you tell me what's going
on so I can make it better?
It's okay if
you're feeling sad!
Did you know I have
a younger brother?
My dad went off,
and he got married,
and he had another child.
And it was hard; it was hard
seeing him with my brother!
But I don't want
that to be for you!
I wanna make the summertime
a happy time for you.
But we have to talk about
our feelings, unfortunately.
And trust me, I don't like
talking about my feelings
either.
You wanna go to
Universal Studios tomorrow,
ride some rides?
Are you gonna get on
all the scary rides?
'Cause I'm not.
Stand over there and take
one with actually you smiling.
You ready?
Smile!
- Look how cute you look!
- Whoa!
Do you see it?
Look.
- Okay.
- I know!
quirky curious music
Yeah, hello?
Are you still coming?
You can't ma-- you...
Wait a minute,
you can't make it?
Chickenpox?!
I saw him two days
ago; he looked fine!
Emerson!
- Hey, how are you!
- How are you doing?
Thanks so much for coming.
- Thanks--
Oh, thank you for
coming to my party!
I'm so happy; I was
waiting for you to come!
And these bouncy castles are
for you if you wanna jump.
All right, nice.
Aw, I'm sorry.
I'm not giving you
enough attention?
I'm gonna play with
you all day today,
but I need to go to the
bathroom for a minute,
and then I'm gonna, uh,
come play with you more,
okay?
Guys, I'll be back
in a few minutes!
Where are
you going, bro?
Uh, I got someone
ovulating in the next room.
I'm gonna make a donation.
Entertain the
kids for a minute.
I would lock the door.
Whoa!
I think I'm gonna need
something to hold onto!
Oh!
Whoa!
These kids are rough!
I'm gettin' b*at up by kids!
- Here you go.
- All right.
Okay.
mellow curious music
Sure.
All right,
now we got a party!
It's very funny.
I know Ari since we're kids.
I saw this whole journey.
I wanna say, Ari,
happy birthday.
May you have Mazel,
Hatzlachah with Brachos,
with Simchas, with
Nachas, and 120 years...
- You're the best!
- With the
families and children.
Thank you.
Ari!
Look at the
beauty you've brought.
You have more kids than
I could ever imagine,
and you're a better
father than I'll ever be.
You gotta keep goin', soldier.
And good job for
everything you've done,
because these
kids are amazing.
And I love you, Ari.
There is no retirement.
We had a understanding
that you were gonna donate to
me today; that's why I said,
you know, "Make sure--"
That was a miscommunication,
because, uh, you said you were
coming, but you didn't say
that you tested positive.
I just donated so
recently, so wanna try later?
What's the
likelihood of, you know...?
Well, I'm saying there'll
just be a little less,
- that's all, you know?
- Yeah.
And then we could either try
later tonight or maybe in the
morning, come by
for breakfast.
I really prefer to do it
as many times as possible,
you know, to
increase the chances.
Yeah, I know, but
it's only been a few hours,
so I figure it'd be nice to
give me a little bit of time
to replenish.
Otherwise, it's a
little extra work.
But if we try now, we could
also try in the morning as
- well, you know.
- You know,
I feel bad because I think...
I think of some of
those months I missed,
- if we would have tried...
- I could've been pregnant.
You could've had your
baby here at this party.
Yeah, well...
We would have a one
year old right now...
- Mm.
- If we didn't miscarry.
All right.
It make take me a
couple of minutes,
so don't judge me.
Just wait here,
I'll be right back.
Let me see if I can get away.
Oh, lickity-split!
I'm gonna take
care of it quick!
- But, uh...
- No!
- Stand here!
- I'll be right back!
I'll be right back.
Gimme five minutes!
Hey, there!
- Hey, how you doin'?
- Toby!
- Is this for Skylar?
- Hey, there!
- Yes, you must be Skylar!
- Okay.
- Welcome, welcome!
- Thank you!
Oh my God, that's so crazy.
'Cause, like, no
one really likes him.
No, his-- so, okay,
well, here's the tea.
mellow synthpop playing
So, how long
have you been bald?
How long what, Tommy?
How long have you been bald?
I mean, have you
always been bald,
or do you shave it to...?
- Is this for Rachel?
- It sure is!
- Okay, that's me.
- Welcome!
Thanks.
I have a good friend
that has the same name,
Rachel.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, she lives in Nashville.
How long have
you known her for?
Oh, about a year.
She has some
medical issues, so...
I haven't seen
her in a while.
But I might go to
see her tomorrow.
- Oh, yeah?
- And I'm
looking forward to that.
You're gonna
like our friend Steve.
- No.
Hi, doggy!
Stop.
Stop.
Hey.
- This looks pretty cozy.
- He's a friend!
Wow, the little guy's gotten
big since the last time I
saw him.
- How are you doing?
- Good.
Do you wanna...
shake my hand or touch me?
- Good to meet you.
Can you recap to me,
'cause I'm just curious,
'cause I can't ever
remember stuff but...
you have how many babies
now that have been born?
Five.
And then do you have
anyone expecting right now?
Two more.
Two more expecting!
Oh my
gosh, this is so cool!
That's awesome.
This is the one
from my house that you always
admire, and so I
wanted you to have it.
Something to
brighten your spirits.
Um...
what do the doctors say?
Are you going to improve?
Are you gonna stay the same?
I got out of the
hospital on Saturday,
and then, I mean, my doctor
has told me that things are
gonna start to get
difficult, which I can...
definitely already feel.
There's a big
potential for death,
and no one wants to die alone.
I just wanna have
someone that I love...
holding my hand, just
to be present with me.
I'll hold your hand...
if you let me.
You know you're in
trouble when you...
when you double your age
and you don't see yourself as
probably still being around.
Then you think about it more.
So...
- Yeah.
- But...
You know, during this process,
I've enjoyed hearing about
your continued success, and
these babies that are just so
beautiful that look like you.
But
there's the heartbreak too,
you know?
Yeah.
For, like,
years, I've been like,
"This is what I want so bad."
And I felt so
good for the
eight, nine months
that we tried this.
I thought we could
make a pretty baby...
if it worked out.
We would
have made a pretty baby.
I think there's multiple...
alternate universes, and
in one of those universes,
we have a child...
living.
tender curious music
Don't you think
this is a little too soon?
It's best
to be prepared!
Like, why do we have
a fire extinguisher?
Just in case a fire happens.
You gotta come
around more often, man.
He be asking for you a lot.
I know you got a bunch
of kids.
Yeah, kids
definitely keep you young.
One or the other:
they're gonna keep you young
or they'll make you old.
Slap me nine!
Right on time!
Slap me eight!
You're too late!
Love ya!
"This is the
Day" by The The
Well, you didn't
wake this morning
'Cause you didn't go to bed
You were
watching the whites
Of your eyes turn red
The calendar
on your wall
Was ticking
The days off
You've been reading
some old letters
You smile and think
how much you've changed
All the money
in the world
Couldn't buy
back those days
You pull back
the curtains
And the sun
burns into your eyes
This is the day
Your life will
surely change
This is the day
When things
fall into place
This is the day
When things
fall into place
Spermworld (2024)
Moderator: Maskath3